Unwanted guests-- Thanksgiving edition

Don't eat those appetizers he's bringing.

But you should know that already.

Thanks for letting us know you're in Hudson, NY. I don't know if I would have been able to come up with a suggestion without that bit of information...

Since you didn't have the balls to tell him no when he suggested attending, your only option is to treat him as an honored guest. Anything else and you are a cunt.

Don't open the door when he arrives, and turn off all the lights.

I had a guest like this once. I was heavy with my wine pours and before too long he got up from the table, walked over to the couch, and fell asleep. It was restful for everyone.

R4 that's brilliant. Makes it look like you're the consummate host/ess but all you're really doing is helping your guest pass out! Genius!

[quote] Thanks for letting us know you're in Hudson, NY.

You're welcome.

R2 gets the vote for the stupidest twat on the DL today.

So far, anyway.

Do you have an enclosed porch, or an ell added on to your house that's anachronistic with the style of your home? I suggest waiting till just before this boor pulls up and set one or both on fire. As he gets out of his car, race out onto the lawn screaming "people are DYING inside!" and he'll undoubtedly drive off in sheer embarrassment, and YOU will have gotten rid of these offending additions to your lovely home.

Just make sure your partner's inside, armed with an extinguisher!

My psychic abilities say he will bring a Taco Bell party pack to your gathering

Are any of you named Kevin?

Why, R10? Do we need to talk about him?

The ne plus ultra of fine entertaining. Please don't thank me, I'm not the recipe creator...

Maybe he'll bring some Andre champagne bottles and make mimosas. It could be worse...

[quote]How can we minimize the impact he'll have on our party?

Paging Dr. Huxtable, Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable to the courtesy phone please.

OP. do you have a rose garden? I've read that disturbed earth in a rose garden is rarely noticed as long as everything is put back carefully.

Make sure you place hand-written YOU BROKE IT YOU BOUGHT signs throughout your house to make him feel at home.

Give him directions to the house where the Lesbian Thanksgiving is being held. Tell him to bring foie gras and veal cutlets. Tell him you'll be waiting and you want to see him make a BIG, FABULOUS entrance.

Thank you for your suggestions. He just called and asked if he could bring a friend visiting from Boston. The friend is a caterer, and wants to use our kitchen to prepare one of his signature dishes.

You could post about him on Datalounge and give enough clues--including the town you are in--that it is likely to get back to him and then he won't show up!

Oh wait.......

It's Thanksgiving, OP. You need to think about that and about what being a good person means and sometimes demands. You should feel lucky it's not you who is considered an unwanted burden and have a little humanity.

If I were OP, I'd be afraid that someone is going to go up to Hudson, find the flea market and the "queeny cashier" and ask whose house he had Thanksgiving dinner at, then come back to Datalounge and dox OP

[quote] The friend is a caterer, and wants to use our kitchen to prepare one of his signature dishes

If it isn’t my PET PEEVE

All of this sounds like a good nightmare in the making, OP. Please report back, in real time if possible.

The signature dish is worse than I imagined... It's a seven layer dip, "Hawaiian style," with pineapples, Canadian bacon, caviar and creme fraiche (I don't know what the other layers are). Can I deny him the space to assemble this nightmare?

I think that’s the best tactic. “That is so, so kind, but I’m afraid I need every inch of space in the kitchen with it being Thanksgiving. I’m sure you know how that goes, being a caterer! Please just come prepared to enjoy and not work.”

Can’t you stop bitching even on Thanksgiving?

R26, OP is riffing from an earlier post and thread from the guest complaining about being invited to these old queens”potluck Thanksgiving in Hudson. You must keep up on DL to get the humor.

Invite sessums. Your odious guest will be eclipsed by sessiepoo and his “stories”

Don’t touch the figs.

Just fart on his food

R25 exactly. I think it's pretty rude of a guest of a guest to expect going to a stranger's home and ask to use their kitchen. No. No. No.

^ ughh someone did that to me at a dinner party years ago. Totally took over my kitchen, felt like a total “power struggle” move. Very passive aggressive shitty rude behavior

There are some instances I will be straight-up rude as a host, and someone trying to bring a dish to my dinner party is one of them. Did I invite you to a potluck? No, then throw your own dinner party if you want to show off your cooking, don’t free ride on mine.

R32 it is absolutely shitty behavior. Don't act like you're contributing to the meal by coming in and messing up someone's kitchen and constantly asking, "where do you keep the..."? "Do you have any....?" "Should I just clean as I go?" ugh!

[quote]the one who works the cash register at the flea market.

Sounds like you found a treasure.

R35 I certainly did! A “blue cornflower" Corning Ware piece. A steal at $79.95 ($86.40 with tax, but he cut me a deal for $80 cash). The cashier invited me to a potluck Thanksgiving dinner party later. Hey, maybe I’ll bring something made in this dish!