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What do you when people at work won't smile or say hello to you?

Do you freeze them out/ ignore them too, or do you still greet them and smile even if you know they will not respond in kind?

by Anonymousreply 42November 25, 2021 8:19 AM

Stop pushing it if they have frozen you out.

by Anonymousreply 1November 22, 2021 7:31 PM

I would ignore them. At some point, they may need something from you. And it will be "interesting" to see how they're capable of basic manners, being cordial, etc. Fuck these people.

by Anonymousreply 2November 22, 2021 7:32 PM

Just ignore it, OP. I’ve been frozen out and ultimately had to find another job.

by Anonymousreply 3November 22, 2021 7:33 PM

I have a three strike rule. After the third time if you don’t respond to my salutation and/or a smile, you are dead to me.

by Anonymousreply 4November 22, 2021 7:34 PM

Maybe they're busy or concentrating o doing their jobs.

Why do you want and need to make this about YOU? Work is not a social time. Socializing is just incidental to doing your job. Not everyone has time for that.

Unless you are just an asshole everyone wants to avoid?

by Anonymousreply 5November 22, 2021 7:36 PM

There's a woman where I work who seems to think I don't exist. She won't look at me, acknowledge me and when I ask her a work related question she pretty much shouts her answer at me. She's the company buyer so I guess she feels this lowly warehouse employee is beneath her.

by Anonymousreply 6November 22, 2021 7:36 PM

R6, she sounds like she's hard of hearing.

by Anonymousreply 7November 22, 2021 7:40 PM

i'm sorry you're going through this OP - I really HATE that shit SO MUCH.

by Anonymousreply 8November 22, 2021 7:41 PM

I wait until I have sufficient power and have them fired.

by Anonymousreply 9November 22, 2021 7:50 PM

Do you work in a prison?

by Anonymousreply 10November 22, 2021 7:55 PM

I plant drugs on them and then notify the authorities.

by Anonymousreply 11November 22, 2021 7:58 PM

[quote] Unless you are just an asshole everyone wants to avoid?

R5 - or maybe he is just a guy who was taught it was polite to say "good morning" when you see someone first thing is the morning?

by Anonymousreply 12November 22, 2021 7:59 PM

I would report such behavior to HR, as a threat to my mental health.

by Anonymousreply 13November 22, 2021 7:59 PM

I wear a hearing aid and I do try to avoid people with just usual chit chat. I do smile when it is appropriate.

by Anonymousreply 14November 22, 2021 8:03 PM

I just continue smiling and saying good morning to people, and don't worry about it. You never know what other people are going through and a lot of people, especially the younger people in my office, seem to be anxious when it comes to making pleasantries. But get them talking at lunch and they are totally lovely people.

by Anonymousreply 15November 22, 2021 8:04 PM

I acknowledge them and say Hi. Doing this in hopes it irritates them and foils any nefarious plans.

by Anonymousreply 16November 22, 2021 8:04 PM

OP—You’re a 4. Please don’t speak to 8s.

by Anonymousreply 17November 22, 2021 8:09 PM

If you know the Myers-Briggs personality construct, think the likes of INTJ for such people: They just don't understand the social importance of these little courteous gestures, and so neither do they have facility in recognizing or performing them. Such people don't mean anything by it, they just don't get it. People who have spent too much time online rather than actually socializing in person with people also can have this tendency.

For the many others, one reason can be that they're part of an office clique which has a member who doesn't like you for some reason, and so they all feel they have to act as their friends act.

In either case, after the person has shown this pattern of behavior, my response is just to follow the person with my eyes but just give a blank stare when he/she comes within "social contact" distance. Yes, that's difficult for those of us who weren't brought up by wolves; but it's the choice that has the fewest bad consequences in the long run.

by Anonymousreply 18November 22, 2021 8:17 PM

Or you could confront it head-on.

Grab them by the arm in one of the corridors and say in a low confidential voice "We need to talk."

See what happens.

by Anonymousreply 19November 22, 2021 8:27 PM

These introverts, INTJs, etc., can muster up enough strength to say Hello when the boss walks through the cubicles. Somehow, it makes sense to say hello and be cordial to the boss.

I'm an introvert, yet I can say good morning, hello, etc., when I walk into the office.

by Anonymousreply 20November 22, 2021 8:27 PM

In France everyone shakes hands every morning. I saw it in a film.

by Anonymousreply 21November 22, 2021 8:29 PM

Even if they don't want to use their voice, they can still nod and smile.

by Anonymousreply 22November 22, 2021 9:56 PM

r20 It's not the I part (introvert) that blocks it; it's the T part (thinker), to whom such social conventions compute as "illogical and unnecessary." Yes, absolutely right that it makes sense to be cordial to the boss (and coworkers as well) . . . and it's a downright mystery why the normally logical INTJs don't figure this out sooner in life.

by Anonymousreply 23November 22, 2021 9:56 PM

Oh shit, good manners!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 24November 22, 2021 10:05 PM

I used to do everything I could to be nice and try to charm them into liking me until I had the realization one night after getting very drunk that I would never win them over and that they decided upon seeing me that they hated me. It was a very freeing realization. Once you realize that some people wouldn’t be piss on you if you are on fire, you become far less tolerant of their bullshit.

Stop trying with them, don’t take it personally, and keep your eye on the prize. People with these attitude problems aren’t discriminate about who they’re nasty to, other people DO notice it, and you’re patient enough, you will outlive them at your company.

by Anonymousreply 25November 22, 2021 10:12 PM

Don't change a thing, OP. They don't like it, it's their loss. Fuck 'em.

by Anonymousreply 26November 22, 2021 10:17 PM

I sat next to a guy at work who would never acknowledge me. After days of repeatedly greeting him in the morning & bidding farewell at the end of the day & getting no response, I just ignored him completely for the duration of the job. You could’ve knocked me over with a feather when I later learned he was a stand-up comic on the side. I guessed he really did leave it all on the stage.

by Anonymousreply 27November 22, 2021 10:51 PM

I don't care as long as they leave my Swingline alone.

by Anonymousreply 28November 22, 2021 11:03 PM

R28 - Milton...take me with you wherever you are...

by Anonymousreply 29November 22, 2021 11:10 PM

Yeah, the oddest thing is when you ignore them, you become more valuable to them. But who really needs that?

by Anonymousreply 30November 23, 2021 2:06 AM

It depends on how you were raised. For some people, basic politeness and manners are an indication of the kind of person you are. Many Americans are only polite when it’s transactional (aka I need something from you). Otherwise they ignore you or act like you’re a freak for saying good morning.

by Anonymousreply 31November 23, 2021 2:16 AM


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by Anonymousreply 32November 23, 2021 2:43 AM

Not everyone is socially alert at work, especially first thing in the morning. Many times I’ve been wandering down the hall thinking about what I’m going to say at the meeting, only to realize that someone had walked past me and waved and I hadn’t reacted.

The real test is if you’re seated next to them at a meeting or gathering and they give you the cold shoulder.

by Anonymousreply 33November 23, 2021 2:51 AM

Oh, I don't speak to anyone at work unless I have to. Too much stress / dramatic bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 34November 23, 2021 4:48 AM

I have my ways.

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by Anonymousreply 35November 23, 2021 4:50 AM

I’m polite because I don’t want to look like I’m the one with the issue but don’t force any conversation

by Anonymousreply 36November 23, 2021 4:52 AM

I look right through them when I walk past them.

by Anonymousreply 37November 24, 2021 4:12 AM

Autistic people suck

by Anonymousreply 38November 24, 2021 4:30 AM

R19 = Amanda Woodward

by Anonymousreply 39November 24, 2021 4:42 AM

I've had coworkers and roommates who were chronically unfriendly. It offended the hell out of me but I never gave them the satisfaction of showing them I cared. Just ignore them right back and think to yourself "you rude piece of shit, goddamn it I fucking hate you".

by Anonymousreply 40November 24, 2021 3:10 PM

R40 - you have the makings of a New Agey self-help writer - you could call your book "you rude piece of shit, goddamn it I fucking hate you".

by Anonymousreply 41November 25, 2021 7:46 AM

it feels strange to me when someone you see every day walks closely by and doesn't even give eye contact. Very Strange.

by Anonymousreply 42November 25, 2021 8:19 AM
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