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Who took your anal virginity?

How old were you? Who was it? How well did you know him? How was the sex?

by Anonymousreply 223November 28, 2021 1:03 AM

It was surprise anal during a massage.

by Anonymousreply 1November 18, 2021 10:27 PM

Teenage neighbor boy when I was around 5 or 6.

by Anonymousreply 2November 18, 2021 10:29 PM

69 and still waiting ...

by Anonymousreply 3November 18, 2021 10:31 PM

K. Y. Dildo

by Anonymousreply 4November 18, 2021 10:38 PM

Hot guy in a bath house, yes we used a condom, yes he was really cool, yes he made me cum without touching myself, yes his body was amazing...Why did I do it there, to get it over with and not have the hassle of knowing the person. He was a lot older than me and he was really cool about it.

by Anonymousreply 5November 18, 2021 10:43 PM

I was 18 and a few weeks into my freshmen year at college. He was my art history professor. It was amazing. Besides getting my cherry popped, I got an A in the class.

by Anonymousreply 6November 18, 2021 10:49 PM

With an A in art history you can write your own ticket!

by Anonymousreply 7November 18, 2021 10:52 PM

Friend - freshman year of college. We were both virgins. We did it many more times that year.

by Anonymousreply 8November 18, 2021 10:55 PM

I was molested

by Anonymousreply 9November 18, 2021 11:01 PM

Was 14. A hot set builder from a theater company probably in his late 30's. He took me for a ride on his motorcycle and fucked me on his picnic table. Cool guy, lots of crisco :)

by Anonymousreply 10November 18, 2021 11:03 PM

I was 28, he was 38, a patent attorney who died about 6 yrs later. It was really nice, though I had to stop, I felt like I had to go to the bathroom (I didn’t) & it was a bit painful even though he was average size. I spent the night, then we had oral sex in the shower in the morning, & went straight home & voted in the 1998 election.

by Anonymousreply 11November 18, 2021 11:15 PM

Dildo and lube.

by Anonymousreply 12November 18, 2021 11:20 PM

[quote] I got an A in the class

And a D in the ass, R6.

by Anonymousreply 13November 18, 2021 11:21 PM

I was 19. He was 47, French, beautiful eyes, masculine voice and big, thick, intact dick. He licked my ass first and I couldn't believe how nice it felt. Then I almost had a prostate orgasm when he was fucking me. It was so intense that I had a kind of emotional meltdown and cryed after. He was amazing and my one true first love. We stayed together for 5 years. He still write each other. And I still sometimes jerk off to that moment. I feel lucky but then never had someone like him ever again.

by Anonymousreply 14November 18, 2021 11:21 PM

R2 I'm so,so sorry. Do you know what ever happened to him? I can only hope he got his comeuppance.

by Anonymousreply 15November 18, 2021 11:26 PM

I think he got his come, not sure about the uppance.

by Anonymousreply 16November 18, 2021 11:30 PM

R16 I actually thought before I posted that someone was going to make that joke. Then I thought, surely not, considering the subject matter. Once again, I overestimated the DL.

by Anonymousreply 17November 18, 2021 11:35 PM

I did not know about anal until I came out and a number of guys wanted to fuck me. I was 24 at the time, and I would just say no. And then a little before Thanksgiving that year, I brought home a guy who had the biggest dick I'd ever seen. And he was so goodlooking. He wanted to fuck me, so I said yes, thinking I might as well do it with someone this well-hung.

It wasn't any fun, though. I continued knowing the guy, however. I was dating a friend of his, who had a much smaller dick, and though he asked if he could fuck me, I never wanted to do that ever again.

The following year, I met the first gay guy I fell in love with. We would have sex that included everything but anal, and I was perfectly happy. A couple of months into our relationship, he wanted to fuck me. I said I would let him, and on maybe the sixth or seventh attempt, he finally made me cum hands free. I was thrilled.

A couple of months later he dumped me for another guy, one who fucked him. I think I've been disillusioned about gay relationships ever since.

by Anonymousreply 18November 18, 2021 11:42 PM

This thread is giving me a lot to pray about!

by Anonymousreply 19November 18, 2021 11:44 PM


And then my older brother.

by Anonymousreply 20November 18, 2021 11:48 PM

My wife, Mother, of course.

by Anonymousreply 21November 18, 2021 11:49 PM

I was 19, he was 33. A big burly man's man. It actually took me a few attempts to take him. But was heaven once I could. We stayed together for seven years.

Miss him dearly over 20 years later.

by Anonymousreply 22November 18, 2021 11:51 PM

First a gypsy.

Then a tramp.

Then a thief.

by Anonymousreply 23November 18, 2021 11:53 PM

The hood kept me from seeing.

by Anonymousreply 24November 18, 2021 11:54 PM

My first serious boyfriend. I was 18, he was 25. He had the smallest dick you’ve ever seen, so I thought it would be a breeze. Hurt like hell. And after two years of letting him fuck me, it still hurt like hell. Constant, irritating pain.

My next boyfriend was extremely well hung and I was REALLY hesitant to let him try. Wouldn’t you know, it felt great!

by Anonymousreply 25November 18, 2021 11:59 PM

I was 17 living in South Kensington, London. I had seen him in his apartment through the window, looking at the back of the buildings on the interior of the square, fucking someone. We flirted through the windows. He motioned for me to come over. I walked around the block and he met me in front of his house. He took me up to his apartment and fucked me. I don't remember any sucking. I must have liked it because we did it again the next night. He seemed much older, but he was probably all of 25. This was in 1974.

by Anonymousreply 26November 19, 2021 12:00 AM

I was 20. His name was Chris. We met at a bar. It was wonderful.

by Anonymousreply 27November 19, 2021 12:00 AM

He told me his name was OJ.

by Anonymousreply 28November 19, 2021 12:02 AM

I'm a top.

by Anonymousreply 29November 19, 2021 12:02 AM

Kevin Spacey

by Anonymousreply 30November 19, 2021 12:03 AM

I was twelve. His name was Palo. We were both in the Legislative Youth Program. He was a few years older than I… very cute… dark curly hair… dreamy eyes.

by Anonymousreply 31November 19, 2021 12:03 AM

I was about 21, living in London, with an Italian boyfriend. I was really inexperienced and wanted to at least try everything once. His dick was the perfect size - about 7" and thick - and it wasn't easy but I managed to learn to enjoy it with him. I've only let 4 guys fuck me in my life, I think.

by Anonymousreply 32November 19, 2021 12:05 AM

My first serious boyfriend, who I wound up moving to CA for. I was 25.

It was awesome. He definitely knew what he was doing. Early enough in the Midwest not to use condoms, although that changed very quickly that year (1985).

by Anonymousreply 33November 19, 2021 12:06 AM

Sean... Sean.

by Anonymousreply 34November 19, 2021 12:08 AM

A liar. He said what he had to convince me to bottom for him. We'd been dating for two months and I agreed to let him fuck me. We used a condom and he came inside of me. He began ghosting me the very next day.

Lesson learned.

by Anonymousreply 35November 19, 2021 12:14 AM

My horse hung father, donkey dicked brother and micro dick'd grandpa. Was a long night.

by Anonymousreply 36November 19, 2021 12:18 AM

I was 24 and it was the first night in a two night stand. He was from Venezuela and on a student visa. We met at the White Horse Bar in Oakland. He was extremely hot. The fuck was almost painless because I was so turned in by him. I ejaculated while he was fucking me.

by Anonymousreply 37November 19, 2021 12:20 AM

r35 = the saga of every straight woman everywhere ever since the beginning of time.

by Anonymousreply 38November 19, 2021 12:31 AM

Meh, some schlub I was dating on and off. Not a bad guy. But nothin' special. Used a rubber. I was surprised it didn't hurt, guess he was small. All I remember is that I was 19 and it was the week before sodomy was legalized in the state of Texas, haha. Didn't think too much of it either way, kind of a "meh" experience. Was mostly a top for years. I'd bottom every now and then, just to be nice, if the guy I was playing with wanted to after I'd topped him. Didn't learn to enjoy bottoming until I got surprise DP'ed by a married couple of doctors many years later. Now, I'm vers all the way.

by Anonymousreply 39November 19, 2021 12:32 AM

As of this writing, absolutely no one, at 58. I may or may not fuck a 20-something tomorrow night though. When it comes to anal sex, ‘tis better to give than to receive.

by Anonymousreply 40November 19, 2021 2:32 AM

13 year old

Wait, I was also 13 at the time. So glad I did not hit POST before adding that.

by Anonymousreply 41November 19, 2021 2:35 AM


by Anonymousreply 42November 19, 2021 2:53 AM

nonconsensual, 14, he was late 30s

by Anonymousreply 43November 19, 2021 3:06 AM

#43/Aaron, did Bruce buy you a nice gift afterwards?

by Anonymousreply 44November 19, 2021 3:08 AM

Me, 18 and just out of the closet (in Dallas). Met a hot guy at a bar. Naturally, he lived out of town.

We didn’t screw that night…I went to visit him in Houston and he was very careful and considerate, but his average unit hurt like hell.

I’ve been mostly a top ever since.

by Anonymousreply 45November 19, 2021 3:09 AM

Wow R43, I’m sorry that happened to you.

by Anonymousreply 46November 19, 2021 3:11 AM

I was 40! By a well-hung good looking Marine. But he had a bad ticker, I thought he was going to die on me. Worse off IN me.

by Anonymousreply 47November 19, 2021 3:15 AM

R44 go fuck yourself

by Anonymousreply 48November 19, 2021 3:41 AM

Hot r6!

by Anonymousreply 49November 19, 2021 5:17 AM

Brian Williams. Yes, that one.

by Anonymousreply 50November 19, 2021 6:23 AM

A somewhat older and much more experienced black guy I was dating one college summer. I liked having sex with him but wasn't too interested in anal - but he really wanted it and I was at least curious. But he had such a huge cock that my tight virgin ass just could not handle. I wasn't prepared for how incredibly painful it would be and for years after I couldn't even dream of doing it again.

by Anonymousreply 51November 19, 2021 6:45 AM

Well, I never OP. Discretion is the better part of valor.

by Anonymousreply 52November 19, 2021 6:51 AM

It wasn’t so much taken as lost.

by Anonymousreply 53November 19, 2021 7:06 AM

My uncle .. when I was 4 or 5 🤦🏻‍♂️

by Anonymousreply 54November 19, 2021 7:15 AM

R53 well that explains why you are a fat mess.

by Anonymousreply 55November 19, 2021 7:16 AM

It was savage. A brutal fucking. They dragged a filthy old mattress into the yard and fucked me on it. My best girl-friend was getting it at the same time on the hood of a car in the garage. It was a dual Rape, a ‘gangbang’. We were both getting wrecked, ruined.. my cherubic blond curls sweated to my bright red flushed face. A grimace of agony as a new, bigger cock went in me. They taught me to ride that night. I rode 7 different cocks.

by Anonymousreply 56November 19, 2021 7:32 AM

Colonel Mustard, in the Conservatory, with the Lead Pipe.

by Anonymousreply 57November 19, 2021 2:23 PM

R7 lololol.

by Anonymousreply 58November 19, 2021 2:33 PM

With a friend (both 11 years old) in his mom's station waggon. We tried on two separate occasions. Wish we knew about using lub.

by Anonymousreply 59November 19, 2021 2:33 PM

R57 at least it wasn’t Mrs. Peacock!

by Anonymousreply 60November 19, 2021 2:35 PM

Nobody "took" it. I gave it. And gladly.

by Anonymousreply 61November 19, 2021 2:37 PM

Oh that’s what you call it??

by Anonymousreply 62November 19, 2021 2:42 PM

My cousin when we were both teenagers. He cornholed me on his mama’s king-size bed.

by Anonymousreply 63November 19, 2021 2:45 PM

I was 18. It was a fuck buddy, so it wasn't a big deal. It was good, but it took me A LOT to open up. I did cum pretty quick though (almost instantly). It was good overall.

by Anonymousreply 64November 19, 2021 4:14 PM

[quote]station waggon

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 65November 19, 2021 4:19 PM

[quote]I got an A in the class.

So, clearly not the only student who got "fucked" by that teacher.

by Anonymousreply 66November 19, 2021 4:20 PM

I was 18. In my dorm room at the Start of winter break my freshman year in college before heading home but after my roommate and most guys on my hall had left. The guy had graduated the year before. It was 1988 in the Midwest and one of the few times I got fucked without a condom u til starting Prep a few years ago. Not really anticipating it. Had no idea about sourcing though it didn’t get messy thank god. We only had Jergans hand lotion so not the best lube. It hurt. He came fast. He ended up giving me crabs. So all in all, terrible.

by Anonymousreply 67November 19, 2021 4:25 PM

Meant douching not sourcing in R67

by Anonymousreply 68November 19, 2021 4:26 PM

A friend in a moment of horniness. The worst, most talentless fuck of my life. Almost turned me off it.

by Anonymousreply 69November 19, 2021 4:28 PM

Edmund White's memoir about losing his virginity... as a teenager in Cincinnati, roaming a park at night, talking to an older "traveling salesman", who invited him back to his hotel for sex."

"He said it would hurt but I would like it.

It did.

I did."

by Anonymousreply 70November 19, 2021 4:37 PM

I was 18 and had kind of failed in my attempt to move to another city but my cousin had let me stay in his room while he was away for 2 weeks. On the last night I had a guy from craigslist come over, a chubby hairy guy from Sri Lanka I think in his late 20s. I’d never fucked a guy before and it just slid right in and felt amazing. I came inside him. Then he wanted to fuck me but I’d kind of lost my horn by then. He was pushing his cock against my hole but hadn’t used any lube or even spit so I figured it would be impossible and he’d just give up, but he actually pushed hard enough that he managed to go in completely dry. I got an internal hemorrhoid after that (perhaps partly also due to opioid use followed by food poisoning) which has never completely gone away and so anything in my ass hurts like hell to this day.

I also had a sprained tongue muscle the next day from rimming him for so long. Also I’d planned on washing the sheets before my cousin got back the next day but he woke me up at like 5AM and I had to move to the couch... the guy had only left at like 3AM

by Anonymousreply 71November 19, 2021 4:52 PM

You really painted us quite a picture of that dalliance R71. I feel like I was there. Oooof.

by Anonymousreply 72November 19, 2021 4:57 PM

It was a guy named Paul. I didn’t particularly enjoy it. Average cock, with a condom. What made it special was the location

by Anonymousreply 73November 19, 2021 5:00 PM

I was 29 and he was 40, a hot lawyer. Meth helped. Fun times!

by Anonymousreply 74November 19, 2021 5:01 PM

Fat fingers at R73. Here’s the location

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 75November 19, 2021 5:01 PM

Cheap motel fetish. Although detox kinda works

by Anonymousreply 76November 19, 2021 5:02 PM

Does a softball bat that I shoved up my ass at 20 years old count? Completely Dry! Very strong orgasm.

I was in the army at the time.

Pool balls stolen off the company pool table also worked wonders.

by Anonymousreply 77November 19, 2021 5:07 PM

A hot 28-year old Hispanic guy with a thick, uncut cock. He was a reference librarian at the university library. He came to a Christmas party given by my boss who ran one of the branch libraries on campus where I worked as a student page. When he arrived he immediately began flirting with me. I was 21 and had never seen such a huge jar of Vaseline. They don't make 'em in glass anymore.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 78November 19, 2021 7:18 PM

A cute blond guy, about 30. I was 21. It hurt like hell...but it was interesting

by Anonymousreply 79November 19, 2021 8:26 PM

My first long-term partner when I was 24. He was 41, tall, dark, handsome and hairy, which I love. I was pretty inexperienced at that point, which he and I had discussed. I'd only done oral and frottage with the guys I had been with, which wasn't that many. When I met my first partner, I fell in love. I had fantasized about getting fucked many times. We'd been together a couple months when he started probing around the outside of my hole one night while we were messing around. It got me really excited and I had an intense orgasm due to the sensation. After I came, I asked if he wanted to fuck me. He said yes, and asked if I ever fantasized about it, which I admitted.

I had to leave the next day for a trip. We talked on the phone when I was gone and we discussed me bottoming for him when I got back. That first time, there was so much anticipation on both sides. He was very experienced and guided me through it. He had me sit on it and ease down on it. He was a thick 7 inches and I had a very tight hole. It was uncomfortable and it did hurt. He came pretty fast because I was so tight.

I wasn't sure I ever wanted to do it again. Then the next day, my ass was a bit sore but in a good way. It made me very horny and I had to hide my on-and-off hard-on at work that whole day. I couldn't stop thinking about him fucking me, and I knew I wanted his cock back inside me. That night, I asked him to fuck me again. This time, he put my legs on his shoulders and did a very slow entry. It hurt a bit, but I was very excited. I was hard as a rock by the time he started fucking me in a steady rhythm. I was jerking off while he fucked me, and I came pretty quickly, and then he came right after me. We did it again a bit later that same night in the same position. My second orgasm that night with his cock inside me was incredibly intense. I'd never had an orgasm like that before. After that, me bottoming was pretty much the main focus of our sex life.

I was with him 13 years before I broke it off with him. I'm glad the first time I did it was with someone I loved. I know everyone is different, but for me sex with someone I love is far more intense and satisfying. After breaking up with my first partner, I was single for 9 years but have been partnered for nearly another 9 years. I love getting fucked by my current partner, whom I consider the love of my life.

by Anonymousreply 80November 19, 2021 9:19 PM

And other times, people have it off, sweetie.

by Anonymousreply 81November 19, 2021 9:25 PM


by Anonymousreply 82November 20, 2021 1:45 PM

[quote] I was with him 13 years before I broke it off with him.

Why did you break up after so many years, R80?

by Anonymousreply 83November 20, 2021 1:49 PM

I was 19 and the dude I think in his 30s, he had a small dick so it was nice but it still hurted a bit.

by Anonymousreply 84November 20, 2021 1:54 PM


by Anonymousreply 85November 20, 2021 2:06 PM

R85 English is not my first language mary, feel free to correct me, I like to learn.

by Anonymousreply 86November 20, 2021 2:20 PM


It appened befoor moi 26th burfdae, in the showahs at Wemblay. He called me a slut and I sooked him off furst. The rest of the taym caim in aftah n watched uz. Oi looved it!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 87November 20, 2021 2:49 PM

R83, I loved him but he turned out to be a mess. He had problems with his finances, he lied about all kinds of things big and small, and was kind of an emotional mess. I caught him cheating on me twice. Our agreement was monogamy and it wasn't forced. We discussed it thoroughly and he said that's what he wanted.

After the first time I caught him cheating, we went to couples counseling. I told him and the counselor I was ok with an open relationship if that's what he wanted. That would be better than the deception. But he insisted he wanted monogamy. Turned out what he wanted was for me to be monogamous while he got to play on the side. He actually admitted that after getting caught the second time. After trying to get over the first cheating (or first time he got caught is probably more accurate) then finding out he did it again, that was it for me.

After that, I dated but never found someone I wanted to partner with until nine years later. I met a great guy and we've been together nearly nine years now. He's honest and trustworthy. We had the same talk about what kind of relationship we should have. We landed on monogamy, but I've told him I'd rather have an open relationship if he feels the need to stray. I don't like the lying and deception. But if we do that, I get the benefit of it, too.

by Anonymousreply 88November 20, 2021 3:14 PM

R22, thanks for trying, but I can’t stand Australian accents. Aussies all sound mentally retarded.

by Anonymousreply 89November 20, 2021 3:16 PM

Oops, wrong thread.

by Anonymousreply 90November 20, 2021 3:17 PM

told this a few times my dads bff was the first...the second would not be until I moved to LA. Met him on a local BBS (this is early 2000s BBS were the grindr back then) His screen name was HNGTOPn2Cops. It was the first time I had ever seen a dick that scared me., Skinny good looking guy with a fucking baby arm for a dick. He introduced me to poppers it was glorious.

by Anonymousreply 91November 20, 2021 3:32 PM

It was so long ago, but it must have been one of the men who visited Momma and Daddy's bar, the Sanitary Cafe in Central, South Carolina. The little song and dance shows that I put on to entertain the patrons -- and I was darn cute if say so myself -- always made me attractive to a certain sort of Southern gentlemen who showed me the way.

by Anonymousreply 92November 20, 2021 3:51 PM

The first man I fell in love with and had a relationship with. He was 27, I was 22. I remember thinking he wouldn't like me naked because I had a small cock and was not circumsized. He thought (I discovered later) that I wouldn't like him because he was quite big and also not circumsized. First time naked, we discovered we loved each others bodies. Whenever it was that first time he fucked me, I remember it didn't hurt at all and felt quite good and enjoyable. No pain whatsoever.

by Anonymousreply 93November 20, 2021 4:13 PM

R93 did he prep you?

by Anonymousreply 94November 20, 2021 4:28 PM

This fictional accounts are generally 1/10

by Anonymousreply 95November 20, 2021 4:30 PM

I was 11yo, he was as old as my dad, and he took something from me I didn’t even know that I had

by Anonymousreply 96November 20, 2021 4:31 PM

Naval officer in San Diego. I was enlisted. We met at an after hours bar. His penis was really small. I found out later when I got pounded by someone who had a really big dick.

by Anonymousreply 97November 20, 2021 4:34 PM

Certain secrets are not to be shared.

by Anonymousreply 98November 20, 2021 4:34 PM

[quote] what he wanted was for me to be monogamous while he got to play on the side.

Never understood this as a desired relationship model. What does it do for someone? Is it just a power trip?

The guilt and the unfairness of it would eat me alive, from either end of the seesaw.

by Anonymousreply 99November 20, 2021 4:41 PM

In the Rectory.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 100November 20, 2021 4:43 PM

I know this sounds like a made up story, but every word is true. I was a new college freshman, and I had heard about this park “where the perverts go.” Well of course I was intrigued as any young horny boy would be. I waited until twilight and sat in my car for an hour before I got out and started walking around. I saw a few older men but was scared to approach them and didn’t make eye contact. Then I saw a park restroom and went in to pee. Of course I noticed the big hole in the side of the stall, and just at that moment a big thick cock came through! I was paralyzed then a man’s voice said “suck it, boy,” so I did! I knew it was wrong but it felt so good. After a few minutes he said “turn around and drop your drawers.” Of course I obliged and put my hole up against the hole! I can’t believe how brave I was at that age, not knowing what could happen. A wet finger slid up inside me and I instantly got hard. I knew he was prepping for what was coming next. I thought it’s way too big! But he took mercy on me and inserted just the head and let me adjust. Then came the thrusting and I touched my dick and shot cum in like 20 seconds. He finished inside me not too long after and I sat down and squirted it out, thinking I was safe from any diseases. As soon as I cleaned up and walked out, standing just outside was my Economics professor! He didn’t know who I was because the classroom auditorium held 100 students. After that I requested a meeting in his office and ended up getting hard while sitting there in my soccer shorts. He saw, grinned, closed the door and started rubbing my cock. Of course I squirted again and he kissed me. We had several more encounters over the term, and of course I got an A in the class!

by Anonymousreply 101November 20, 2021 4:44 PM

R80 Very hot post.

I love that sore ass the next day feeling too. It always gives me a hard on as well.

by Anonymousreply 102November 20, 2021 4:50 PM

Tried for a while with my boyfriend. We did not know about douching. I was always so disgusted that even now that I know about hygene, it still turns me off.

by Anonymousreply 103November 20, 2021 5:04 PM

R26, I, too, lived in South Ken, but you must have been in a less-respectable area than I was in.

For my first time I used the same reliable delivery service my parents had contracted with. No peeking through dirty windows at slobby strangers fucking with no curtains closed.

Are you sure you weren't living in Shepherd's Bush?

by Anonymousreply 104November 20, 2021 5:39 PM

It was during my first week of internship at Witt/Thomas/Harris Productions. My father knew someone who got me in. I was really nothing more than a gofer. One day, Bea Arthur called me to her dressing room...

by Anonymousreply 105November 20, 2021 5:43 PM

Too many too remember

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by Anonymousreply 106November 20, 2021 6:04 PM

Mid 1970s, Pennsylvania, best friend, I was 11, he was 12. It all starts with the game “Trust Me” where you put your hand on someone’s knee ask them, if they say yes, you move up an incremental bit and repeat. Eventually, you go down their pants, or in this case bathing suit, and touch and fondle their junk.

Fooling around goes on for years going further and further. Eventually I decide to try the information I’ve read about anal sex in the book called “Twins” based on the real life story of twin brothers who were both gynecologist, and secret lovers that ended in a murder suicide. It was made into the movie “Dead Ringers” with Jeremy Irons. But there was detailed information enough about fucking that I knew enough to lube with Vaseline Petroleum Jelly, so I’m guilty of being the instigator. Thing was, it was just one more step in fooling around and I’m sad to say I have no distinct memory of losing my virginity at all.

We continued doing it for years, basically every other week. We were friends, but it lacked any kind of romance or being boyfriends to it. I guess my first relationship was basically as fuck buddies. At 16 I pulled back and we stopped. I wouldn’t have sex again until I was nineteen in college. Though between then I was almost abducted, tortured, raped and murdered by a child molester in the woods.

by Anonymousreply 107November 20, 2021 6:04 PM

I've given my anal virginity away so many times I feel like a Catholic orphanage.

by Anonymousreply 108November 20, 2021 6:06 PM

No one took my anal virginity. I conceived immaculately.

by Anonymousreply 109November 20, 2021 6:23 PM

I thought it was an audition, but bottom was the only part I got out of it.

by Anonymousreply 110November 20, 2021 7:21 PM

Broom handle in a juvenile detention center.

by Anonymousreply 111November 20, 2021 7:28 PM

College; I'd just been sexually assaulted by three guys and shortly thereafter this guy has his arm around me telling me everything's going to be okay.

Seriously, and then the dude seduces me.

Fucked me up for years. Probably still now.

by Anonymousreply 112November 20, 2021 7:33 PM

Happy it worked out for the best, R88! 🤍🤍

by Anonymousreply 113November 20, 2021 7:57 PM

This place is infested with fat lying bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 114November 20, 2021 8:00 PM

There's a hilarious scene in the recent mini-series "It's A Sin" (set in the 80s) where newbie Ritchie is about to lose his virginity to the more experienced Ash, when Ash bolts telling the naive Ritchie, "You need a good wash!" Years later when the friends hook-up again, they laugh about it.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 115November 20, 2021 8:15 PM

R2 I'm so sorry to hear that. What kind of mental case sees a 5 year old and wants sex??

R35 what was the lesson learned?

by Anonymousreply 116November 20, 2021 8:18 PM

R116 um...that men will say anything to get you in the sack, genius.

by Anonymousreply 117November 20, 2021 8:22 PM

20. A marine that had a really fat one. Not long but pretty thick.

Felt like a red hot fireplace poker going up inside me. He said he was really sorry and he would go slower.

He did go slower and that's when it started feeling good. We came three times each that night.

by Anonymousreply 118November 20, 2021 8:25 PM

[quote] I wasn't prepared for how incredibly painful it would be and for years after I couldn't even dream of doing it again.

Post Traumatic Stretch Syndrome

by Anonymousreply 119November 20, 2021 8:30 PM

This will garner shrieks and accusations of being a Frau, but I feel it needs to be said—it’s quite heartbreaking and grisly how young some of you were, and how violent your first experiences turned out to be.

Kids & very young teens getting raped or coerced by older men or boys really isn’t alright, and would do a number on anyone’s psyche. I do acknowledge that 12 or younger may not be young to begin a sexual life in some cultures, but to me that is somewhat too young; I expect an 11 year old to spend time playing or gaming or out riding bikes and having adventures like a Goonie, still (maybe trolling for their first kiss or sneaking looks, at the most). But I suppose times have changed, now, and so many young kids are or have been looking at porn before their own genitals even come in.

There’s no getting around the fact that real-world (and cyber) physical intimacy of any sort is an important matter of trust that ideally ought to be handled with care by responsible people, or at least people with basic levels of humanity intact—all too rarely, though, we hear and see that this is not the case.

Those of us who had our first times later in life (or at least when we were older than 11 or 12 years of age) and/or in loving safe circumstances with a partner we could trust really have been fortunate.

by Anonymousreply 120November 20, 2021 9:03 PM

R120 I don't entirely disagree. My first time was at 12, with another 12 year old. We were just messing around and one thing led to another. We had "fun" on and off until I left for college.

But in some aspects, I'm glad it happened the way it did. I had sex before I was old enough to have anxiety about it, and homophobic teasing didn't bother me because I was getting laid and they weren't.

by Anonymousreply 121November 20, 2021 9:11 PM

R121 Very well said, there was no anxiety about sex and I remember in 7th grade explaining (straight) sex to all my classmates in very clear, almost clinical terms and them being completely clueless. I almost got in trouble, but when I repeated what I said and that there was no misinformation I was giving they basically had to back off and not punish me. They may have been calling me a faggot in school, but I’m sure out of everyone I was the last person that they expected was getting laid on a regular basis. It acted like an armor, when they said things, I could think in my mind “If only you really knew what I was doing!”

I arrived at college very sexually experienced and the whole idea of the complications of being fucked the first time didn’t exist for me, while just about every gay man coming out it did. And frankly one of the really good reason it happened like that was I was able experience unprotected sex for years before going into the lockdown of safe sex, I was one of the few of my friends that age who experienced it.

by Anonymousreply 122November 20, 2021 10:28 PM

R120 is a perfect example of why woman shouldn't be allowed on Datalounge

by Anonymousreply 123November 21, 2021 12:22 AM

[quote] How old were you? Who was it? How well did you know him? How was the sex?

13. My best friend, J.C. Very well. Good if not a little awkward -- it was a sleepover and his mother nearly caught us. We did oral and anal, both versatile and no condoms. We were virgins, and it was 1980.

I'm sure 15 year old Bryan Singer would have creamed himself watching.

by Anonymousreply 124November 21, 2021 12:24 AM

A smoking hot med student who was working as the janitor of a gay cafe. I was a cute 13 yr old blond so desperately horny I thought I’d explode. I wasn’t particularly precocious. By 14 I was so horny I could barely think. That’s why I now think much of what is written about the sexuality of adolescent youths — particularly by women, who have no conception of the male mind — is utter tripe. Society still can’t deal with it honestly - it causes brain fuses, particularly amongst parents, so it peddles one-note lies that there are only victims and predators, and suppresses any nuanced discussion, because there are no easy answers. It’s an impossible discussion, so is shut down. However I’m sure that will eventually change. I tend to think that in some ways the Victorians were more honest than ourselves in the matter of acknowledging it.

by Anonymousreply 125November 21, 2021 12:57 AM

It’s not fair to call out R120 on a frau-basis, she’s sharing her thoughts as much as the rest of you are your experiences. So thank you for all that.

It should not go unnoticed that not that many people here have expressed regrets or hurt from getting their asses taken across a spectrum of ages and situations. But yes, for the ones who were raped, lied to, treated shabbily afterwards, that’s awful.

This is incredibly more than I thought I’d type for a post. I just opened this thread to see if any of you bottoms mentioned me.

by Anonymousreply 126November 21, 2021 1:11 AM

R126 ok Nancy

by Anonymousreply 127November 21, 2021 1:22 AM

The first time I had gay sex, the guy fucked me. It was not romantic, or fun.

by Anonymousreply 128November 21, 2021 1:33 AM

[quote] I expect an 11 year old to spend time playing or gaming or out riding bikes and having adventures like a Goonie,

That's just the current norm. But is it a desirable norm? 120 years ago most kids were thrown into adult worlds at 12 when they went to work -- and worked 12 hours. Here's a provocative question: do today's childhoods go on far too long? I know I thought mine did, and was frustated both experientially and sexually because it did. By around 14 I was fed up with it and wanted the adult world. Would children be better adults if they experienced more hard knocks and slapdowns at an earlier age than the extended cotton wool pampered existences they have now?

by Anonymousreply 129November 21, 2021 1:41 AM

What can I say? I am a caring (and curious) top!

by Anonymousreply 130November 21, 2021 1:45 AM

R129 interesting question. Really, it’s hard to come down on one side or the other.

YMMV, but IMO most people aren’t really capable of becoming mature, responsible or conscientious until they’re at least into their twenties, and usually it takes even longer than that. And relationships between people who haven’t developed the aforementioned qualities are usually a toxic disaster, meaning that by the time the young adults do reach maturity they are jaded and damaged and out to hurt people. In this respect, it’s actually healthy to let kids & teens be young and stay out of sex & intimate relationships for many years, as it prevents the pain and fallout of hormonal selfish drama (which can be fatal in a lot of instances).

There again, perhaps as you say people become wiser and more empathetic with experience gained sooner rather than later. Maybe through mollycoddling, people aren’t experiencing enough growth in their youth and thus aren’t reaching a place in adulthood where they’ve become ‘emotionally-3D’ so to speak. Sheltering could be a form of deprivation as well as protection.

It’s a tricky road to walk. I’m relieved that I don’t have children to raise in these times, because I wouldn’t know what to do. This world seems a much more shadowy place than the one many of you grew up in, but how much of that is real and how much created in our minds?

by Anonymousreply 131November 21, 2021 1:53 AM

^^^if it helps to know where I’m coming from with that argument, I stand in stark contrast to everyone else posting here—-one of those hyper-sheltered late-blooming virginal types who was very protected (as well as uninterested) in sex growing up. Sex to me always seemed like something not worthwhile to pursue or for which to take risks, plus I was dissuaded from pursuing it, so I just didn’t. It’s hard to say whether this has been the cause of trouble and setback and stagnation in my current adult life (there are different more obvious causes IMO, but I appreciate others would disagree), but I can admit that it did isolate me from others in my teens and probably protracted a selfish childlike world too long. But I had a very colourless domestic life and a fairly unhappy scholastic life, so I felt I needed the fantastical escapism and security of innocence into which to retreat. It was a coping mechanism that worked for me at the time, but perhaps works against me now. We all have different paths to walk.

by Anonymousreply 132November 21, 2021 1:59 AM

The actual first resulted from too much alcohol, I was quite a lush in those days. He was a farm boy from Boise and from what I can remember, he gave it to me and I really liked it. Then there was the planned one with a man I was smitten with, but that sex was awkward and mechanical. I really loved him, but I went a little crazy and drove him away.

by Anonymousreply 133November 21, 2021 2:05 AM

I was 14, he was in his 30's. We met in AOL chatroom and he wouldn't send pictures, only these stories about a knight and a prince that were very romantic. We went on a date to the movies and he picked me up in an old limousine. He was hideous, obese, tiny penis, and some kind of awful eczema all over his back. After the movie we made out in the back of the limousine (which was being driven by some old guy that I think was either his dad or roommate) and he took me back to his place and fucked me to Brian Williams' Everything I Do I Do it For You. I was very shocked at how much it hurt, considering how tiny he was. Afterwards I was quite ashamed and never spoke to him again. Didn't have sex again either until I was 17.

by Anonymousreply 134November 21, 2021 2:20 AM

[quote] He was hideous, obese, tiny penis, and some kind of awful eczema all over his back.

So a DL’er?

It gets better!

by Anonymousreply 135November 21, 2021 3:38 AM


by Anonymousreply 136November 21, 2021 3:44 AM

It was the back of an SUV parked off the side of a highway and I kind of bossed him around and told him to do it and it hurt but I was super ready to have it done and finished. It was mind over matter type of deal. I didn’t understand what the fuss was about. I was a top ever since then but it’s not that it’s unappealing to me, has to be the right guy.

by Anonymousreply 137November 21, 2021 4:19 AM

Carrot Top

by Anonymousreply 138November 21, 2021 4:22 AM

I was 21 and determined to lose my assginity. I met him in Boots and Saddles on Christopher Street and we walked to his apartment. It was a sparsely furnished and dank studio. He wasn’t particularly attractive and had an average sized dick but I was determined to be fucked that night and too impatient to wait around for Prince Charming. I don’t remember much pain (Crisco for lube: late 70’s) but after a few thrusts he stayed still in my ass for what felt like an eternity. I was too inexperienced to know what was going on but, in actuality, he had let himself go flaccid and peed up my ass. After pulling himself out, I began to sit up and he went batshit crazy: he was afraid that I’d wet the bed. By that point, I lost patience and blurted out, “if you’re that freaked out about dirty sheets, you shouldn’t pee up other people’s butts.” I made it safely to his mildewed bathroom and emptied a buttload of stale beer. It was not a night of magic but, as they say, it only got better.

by Anonymousreply 139November 21, 2021 4:22 AM

He was a boy, just a boy, and I was a very young girl.

by Anonymousreply 140November 21, 2021 4:32 AM

R34 Thank you for that

by Anonymousreply 141November 21, 2021 4:33 AM

I got fucked first in a bathhouse. Poppers helped a lot (still do). It was okay. I just wanted to experience getting fucked and it did the job.

It took a few tries before I met a guy who bottoming for was a great experience. He was a hookup. He had a log of a cock and deep kissed me into a trance. It was amazing. After that, I only bottom for guys who have those two attributes

by Anonymousreply 142November 21, 2021 5:13 AM

I’m saddened by the hoes who lost their virginities in bathhouses.

Call me a romantic!

by Anonymousreply 143November 21, 2021 5:39 AM

A married, wealthier older guy. I was 19, he was late 30s maybe? He had a humongous penis. It could barely fit in my mouth. He got mad at me halfway through because I was moaning so loud he was afraid it would wake up the maid upstairs.

by Anonymousreply 144November 21, 2021 7:32 AM

[Quote] I’m saddened by the hoes who lost their virginities in bathhouses.

I did a lot of fun firsts in bathhouses.

The problem is, after a while, you lose the ability to combine sex and emotion. You begin to see every man as a sex object, and you don’t understand the nuances of dating and relationships. I loved bathhouses In my youth but they do mess with your mind.

by Anonymousreply 145November 21, 2021 1:03 PM

R139, for years I wanted to experience doming peeing up my ass. Now, with PrEP, I was able to be have someone do it.


by Anonymousreply 146November 21, 2021 1:05 PM

R2 Sure Mr NAMBLA. In your dreams.

by Anonymousreply 147November 21, 2021 1:11 PM

Sorry, but isn’t what R26 wrote basically the plot of the film CLAPHAM JUNCTION?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 148November 21, 2021 1:24 PM

Worth pointing out that there is a world of difference between a 13 year old having sex with a 14 year old peer and a 13 year old having sex with at 40 year old man.

by Anonymousreply 149November 21, 2021 1:37 PM

My first fuck was when we were fumbling 17 year olds. It wasn’t until a 47 year old fucked me me a long while later that I understood the pleasures of anal.

I’ve been a daddy fan ever since . They’re just such better at fucking

by Anonymousreply 150November 21, 2021 2:28 PM

On the flip side - now that you’re an elder gay - are any of you out there hooking up with 19 year olds? Because I can’t imagine it and so many lost it with much older men. Now that I’m that age, the thought of a teenager is nauseating.

by Anonymousreply 151November 21, 2021 3:03 PM

Here's how it's done right (NSFW).

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 152November 21, 2021 4:57 PM

[quote] if you’re that freaked out about dirty sheets, you shouldn’t pee up other people’s butts.

I ❤️ u!

by Anonymousreply 153November 22, 2021 12:35 AM

I'm pretty sure I've told this before on here, but whatever.

I met a man online while I was still living at home with my parents before I went away to University. I was 18 and he was quite a bit older but we really hit it off. One weekend when my parents were away I invited him round and we had sex multiple times, on the sofa bed in the lounge. He had a big dick and I bottomed first and although it wasn't painful (being older, he knew what he was doing I guess) I didn't find it very pleasurable other than the psychological enjoyment of finally being devirginised. My dick wasn't even hard throughout.

However, we then moved on to me topping and that's when I realised that was more my thing! He was sceptical that I was a virgin as apparently I was a natural at it (yes, I'm bragging there, sue me). That man became my boyfriend for the next couple of years. He was predominantly a top before he met me but we ended up being fairly evenly vers with each other and I did get more comfortable with bottoming and learnt how to enjoy it, but it was always second-fiddle to topping. Eventually we stopped using condoms and I actually found taking a load to give bottoming an extra bit of a thrill, although unlike a lot of tops I never had an issue with using a condom to top and fucking raw wasn't the massive boost I had been led to believe.

by Anonymousreply 154November 22, 2021 9:42 AM

[quote]are any of you out there hooking up with 19 year olds?

I saw an amazingly cute one fucked hard at the sauna the other afternoon by a guy who must have been at least mid-70s. Built like a tank with a huuuuge cock that was ramrod stiff. They seemed to know each other because the older guy did him like a spitroast in a spit second. I'm never surprised by anything. Not since the day I saw a breathtakingly beautiful Russian looking kid go into a room (in what was obviously a pre-arranged meet up) with a 5,000 ton slab of waddling fat. I can understand daddy chasers, and chubby chasers, but a Jabba The Hutt chaser really blew a brain fuse.

by Anonymousreply 155November 22, 2021 1:32 PM

I wonder if the type attracted to old daddies as teenagers ever turns into the type attracted to young ones once they reach old daddy status.

by Anonymousreply 156November 22, 2021 1:57 PM

R156 NnnnAAAAAANNNTS!!! InnnGONyaMAAAAAA!!!!! BagiTHI baBAAAAA!!!!....

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 157November 22, 2021 2:34 PM

Did you guys practice stretching yourselves or use dildos or something before getting fucked in the butt that first time?

I can't imagine having zero anal experience and then having a dick up there and it all going well.

I remember my doctor putting a finger up there once in my teens and being sore for like a day afterwards.

by Anonymousreply 158November 22, 2021 4:38 PM

r1158 it is not really a matter of stretching but relaxing. Not to be gross but when you poop that hole is wide open so we all can do it.

by Anonymousreply 159November 22, 2021 4:59 PM

R158 I would definitely recommend some solo exploration in advance of getting fucked for the first time, ideally a decent dildo that you build up to after you are comfortable with a finger, then two. It is a very weird feeling to start with and if you're not completely comfortable, the internal muscles inside your ass will automatically tighten and it is likely to hurt (feels like being stabbed in the ass with a hot poker) and by practicing on your own before hand, you're much more likely to have an enjoyable, or at least not painful, first experience. Go slow, use plenty of lube, take it out and wait a minute or two before continuing if it's hurting. You don't want to go too fast/deep too soon and cause any damage which will really put you off in future.

by Anonymousreply 160November 22, 2021 5:08 PM

"Did you guys practice stretching yourselves or use dildos or something before getting fucked in the butt that first time?"

No. No one knows that when you're naive. Not even the tops, who should know better.

I imagine it's the same with women and that first big plunge.

by Anonymousreply 161November 22, 2021 5:17 PM

Neighbor boy. I was 12; he was 13. It was the usual kids-fooling-around stuff. We did it off and on for a couple of years. We didn't do it to completion at first; that happened later. In the beginning, we would just take turns putting it in for a few minutes. That was probably a good way to get used to it.

by Anonymousreply 162November 22, 2021 5:24 PM

I found a dildo and vibrator in my father’s top drawer and practiced with them both before I did anal. I was very well versed about having something up there by the time I had the real thing. One time the vibrator, while on, slipped completely inside me. I was terrified I was going to die or even worse, need to go to the ER and have to explain what happened, where I got it and undergo some horrible procedure. Eventually I was able to use my internal muscles to expel it, but it scared the hell out of me.

by Anonymousreply 163November 22, 2021 5:29 PM

I learned the truth at seventeen that anal was just for beauty queens.

by Anonymousreply 164November 22, 2021 5:31 PM

R155, was the sauna in Troy, NY?

by Anonymousreply 165November 22, 2021 6:06 PM


by Anonymousreply 166November 22, 2021 6:37 PM

I was 18 and working as a bellhop at a Holiday Inn in Virginia. Some guy wanted his sheets changed but housekeeping had left and they sent me. As I was moving around the bed bending and stretching, he soon had me bending and stretching in ways I never knew possible.

I left my high school ring in his room and had drive my sore ass back to get it later that night. Turned out he was an advertising executive from San Francisco. Four years later, after college, I was working as an advertising account coordinator in San Francisco. Never saw him again.

by Anonymousreply 167November 22, 2021 6:58 PM

We don’t believe r167’s lies!

“Never saw him again”?? Didn’t need to when you’d already whored your way to the top!

by Anonymousreply 168November 22, 2021 7:06 PM

R168, he whored his way to the middle...

by Anonymousreply 169November 22, 2021 7:41 PM

Another bathhouse deflowering here.

by Anonymousreply 170November 23, 2021 12:12 AM


I'd think a bathhouse would be terrifying. Total strangers who clearly sleep around and are likely to give you an STD/STI or HIV....no quick way to leave when you're walking around naked...possibility of running into someone in your community...lack of privacy if you do find someone you like...

At least with an online hookup person you can do it at a house or something...and without an audience....

I guess the bathhouse first timers were in the 70s?

by Anonymousreply 171November 23, 2021 1:21 AM

The HS football team behind the bleachers.

by Anonymousreply 172November 23, 2021 1:40 AM

R171, I am one of the bathhouse queens you are talking about and no it wasn't in the 70's...it was in the early 2000's and we didn't have Grindr.

We also didn't have an audience...like most people who probably did what I did, we had a private room.

Meeting someone on line can still open you up to an STD, to someone crazy and to someone more likely to murder you

You sound stupid.

by Anonymousreply 173November 23, 2021 1:46 AM

R171, Mary!

No one forces you to do what you don’t want in a bathhouse. If it’s not working for you, you just leave the room. Tons of privacy. Yes, you might meet someone you know, but guess what, he’s there too! It actually has only happened to me once in my many years of bathhouse patronage.

Condoms prevent HIV and STIs—I’ve never gotten either

by Anonymousreply 174November 23, 2021 2:20 AM

r173 and it is not like any random can fuck you. Typically a guy with a room would hang out in his room, the guys interested would walk around check you out, and ask if you wanted company. Make out, reach under the towel and see if the good are going to ring your bell.

by Anonymousreply 175November 23, 2021 3:13 AM

[quote]r173 I am one of the bathhouse queens you are talking about and no it wasn't in the 70's...it was in the early 2000's and we didn't have Grindr. We also didn't have an audience...like most people who probably did what I did, we had a private room.

^^ Grace Kelly

by Anonymousreply 176November 23, 2021 3:16 AM

I have never been in a bathhouse (I know, smell me...) but I can see a certain advantage to there as opposed to an online hook-up. In a bathhouse you would see the human, body/movements/attitude/speech, and engage them... and if it wasn't working, the understanding in bathhouse would be "thanks, but I'm moving on now." Online hookups would seem to put more pressure on moving forward after you've met... even if there wasn't a great connection.

Am I rite?

by Anonymousreply 177November 23, 2021 3:31 AM

I'm not stupid...I just don't see how you can quickly disengage with a guy at a bathhouse if you've only got a towel on and are clearly there looking for sex (and therefore not likely to say no, in the eyes of some pushy guys). What happens when some guy gets creepy and doesn't take the hint? What if he starts following you even after you said no?You go back to the locker, spend a few minutes changing and trying to leave? That's not a fast exit. If you meetup in the real world, you can scope things out a bit before taking your clothes off. And - god forbid - if he gets crazy or rough with you, you aren't "some slut parading around naked at a bathhouse" trying to file a report...but a nornal person who met up with someone for a date to possibly have sex, and then found themselves in a dire situation.

I know, I know - Mary! - but how do you protect yourself in a sex club?

I've had random guys follow me and get huffy with me when I tried to avoid them in the real world...while I was clothed and out in the open.

I'd like to think all the guys in a bathhouse are sex positive, gentle souls who have respect for each other above all else....but it just seems like a really risky environment where you could easily get raped, cornered, coerced, stalked, robbed, stabbed and then told "well...you were asking for it!"

*never been to one and yes, I'm not a big risk taker*

by Anonymousreply 178November 23, 2021 5:02 AM

My first regular boyfriend in his dorm room during our sophomore year on our second night together. The first date was in my studio apartment off campus (oral only). 1981.

I specifically remember that he lubed me with a strawberry scented numbing cream while I laid on my stomach in his single, dorm-room bed. It ranged from me thinking, "this kind of hurts, and I feel like I might need to take a dump," "I like another warm guy laying on top of me... but the fact that his straight room mate is probably awake... a few feet away, separated by a room divider/tall bookshelf is kinda unusual... why are we doing this here and not at my place? Is he trying to prove something to his room mate? (he was). Does the room mate -- who went to high school in a wealthier burb next to mine -- enjoy The Manhattan Transfer as much as J. does?". "This feels kinda nice, oh wait, ouch! Hope he finishes soon!".

The giddy, secretive, subversive, warm, naughty, 'we're breaking the rules' homosexual intimacy aspect was wonderful.

Felt a bit sore but satisfied and proud and goofy walking from class to class all day on campus the next day. Colors looked brighter. We lasted as a couple for the semester, but I never really got into bottoming until decades later (the AIDS epidemic would be just a few years ahead) and then did so with a spectacular vengeance.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 179November 23, 2021 5:16 AM

I'm with the other guys on this R178 - actually, hooking up with a stranger at a bathhouse, I think would be way safer and more controlled than meeting up with some random guy online. When I was much younger I used to chat to a guy online and go round to his place without anyone knowing where I was, and I fucked BIG guys who were much bigger and stronger than me, nothing bad ever happened but if they had been wrong'uns it could have been a different story.

In terms of your questions, what happens if a guy gets creepy/doesn't take a hint - you loudly reject him and if that doesn't work you go to the front desk and report him for harassment to the staff at which point he gets chucked out. Can you do that if you go to someone's house? No. I have had a few occasions where a guy was too persistent with me and I have the confidence and physical ability to tell them in very clear terms that if they don't fuck off I will knock them out, if you don't feel comfortable with that just report them.

Absolute worst case scenario you can scream for help if someone is actually abusing you too.

It's also much better for checking someone out before you decide if you actually do want to have sex with them, because you can usually see them completely, and in person you can check if you have chemistry. I've met men online before that I was up for having sex with and then in person I wasn't as keen but I felt obliged to go through with it anyway - that wouldn't happen in a bathhouse.

by Anonymousreply 180November 23, 2021 9:53 AM

Saunas are FAR safer than meeting up online. It’s not like yr the only two people there FFS. But you don’t just have to go for sex. I go mainly to swim and catch a movie, but then I’m not in the US, & the facilities are superb.

by Anonymousreply 181November 23, 2021 12:34 PM

The follow up thread to this should be “Who hurt you?”

by Anonymousreply 182November 23, 2021 12:42 PM

May I confess to being amused by a debate about whether it's better to be deflowered in a bathhouse or on a Grindr hook-up?

by Anonymousreply 183November 23, 2021 12:45 PM

R167 No doubt he dead of the aids. sad.

by Anonymousreply 184November 23, 2021 1:41 PM

Let's see I was 24 and he was this cute Latin mix with a huge cock. Found out I could take it without issue. Kind of suppressed it for many years.

by Anonymousreply 185November 23, 2021 1:55 PM

r185 why would you supress that? You are a unicorn!

by Anonymousreply 186November 23, 2021 2:13 PM

I am equally amused R183

by Anonymousreply 187November 23, 2021 2:20 PM

I can tell you a bathhouse or sauna is so much better than an app. It's like grindr live. Before covid I hit one in LA. I had a room and was just laying back checking the parade. A guy stops in my room, short thinner with a really nice body but reallyt thick glasses. He asks to come in and I smile an say sure thinking I am going to fuck this cute little guy. He leans down and we start making out i reach under his towel and before i get an inch past his knee I hit cock. Holy shit this kid is packing. Like a fucking baby arm. One of the best fucks I ever had. I asked him if he wanted to back to my place and he said yes, that I was the only one here he wanted to have sex with. Still a fuck bud.

by Anonymousreply 188November 23, 2021 2:37 PM

The best things about a bathhouse are the variety of men, the quantity--so you can from person to person if you want, and the safety.

by Anonymousreply 189November 23, 2021 4:26 PM

...what safety though?

That's the part I don't understand. You're naked surrounded by naked guys....no weapons, no wuick exit. If there even is someone working there willing to assist you in a crisis, how exactly are they going to intervene to protect you? Run out into the communal area and grab the guy you point at by the dick and toss him out in the street?

Are there two armed Pinkerton guards?

I'm not saying everyone definitely gets raped or stalked or whatever but if you do get hurt, robbed or filmed or whatever...nobody in the real world is going to support you. You think a judge is going to convict someone of attempted rape or assault because you go to court and say "that's just not how I expect to be treated in a gay sex bathhouse your honor!" Their reaction will be "you are an indiscriminate whore" and "you left yourself in danger".

To me, its like stripping naked and throwing yourself to the wolves, fingers crossed.

Maybe it practically never happens and 99% of the time, its just horny guys who are decent about it...but don't homeless men go to these places to shower and sleep for the night? Don't addicts? People hiding out?

I could just as easily be asking this about straight sex clubs too. It just seems like you're in such a vulnerable position in the hopes that someone hot finds you hot too. I'll bet the less attractive people really struggle in that kind of situation, ass hanging out, no nice clothes to hide behind and gym queens parading around sneering at them.

Or maybe they're paradise. I don't know LOL.

by Anonymousreply 190November 23, 2021 7:10 PM

What if the whole bath house population turns on you in a drove and forcibly gangbangs you??

That is my fear.

by Anonymousreply 191November 23, 2021 7:44 PM

Are there that many violent predators at bath houses?

by Anonymousreply 192November 23, 2021 7:46 PM

r190, I have never encountered a violent or threatening man at a bathhouse, or even somebody who was mean or unpleasant. The worst I've encountered was a cross look to say, no, I'm not interested in you.

by Anonymousreply 193November 23, 2021 8:07 PM

Given that bathhouses are dying out what is the point of arguing their merits?

by Anonymousreply 194November 23, 2021 8:09 PM

[quote]R192 Are there that many violent predators at bath houses?

Yes! I saw a non-consensual bathhouse gangbang in a movie once!

by Anonymousreply 195November 23, 2021 8:10 PM

I'm not keen on strangers moving in my bowel.

by Anonymousreply 196November 23, 2021 8:43 PM

R190, just that fact that there are many people walking around prevents people from threatening you. It's not like you're alone in an alley somewhere or even alone in some stranger's apartment.

by Anonymousreply 197November 23, 2021 8:45 PM

I had been sucking guys off and getting sucked and topping guys for about a year.

This guy kept coming by my workplace and talking to me.....eventually he asked me out. On the second date I went to his house and he fucked me. He was average sized and it was very nice. Of course as soon as he was done, I wanted to do it again....but he couldn't.

We dated for a few months and I was the top.....he wasn't interested in fucking me again. So that's been the pattern.......I get fucked and I like it but the guy doesn't want or can't do it again the same night.

So I just keep topping and hoping someday I can find a guy who will fuck me twice in one night.

by Anonymousreply 198November 23, 2021 11:19 PM

I was 15. I called up Billy the queenie guy everyone made fun of at my high school. I figured he'd know what to do. I couldn't get out the words so he said, "people call me for two things: pills or sex," and I said "the last one." He told me to come over to his house. His parents were there. We went up to his room, I took off my pants, got on my stomach, he lubed me up, and pushed it in. It didn't really hurt but was uncomfortable. When it was over, I asked him not to tell anyone. The next day, of course, it was all over school but nobody confronted me about it. A girl I knew let me know Billy told everyone. I never got used to bottoming (except for a couple of times with poppers) and morphed into a top by the time I was 18 and never went back.

by Anonymousreply 199November 24, 2021 12:32 AM

[quote] morphed into a top

I am imagining OP's muscles growing, his frilly overly fashionable pastel color clothes turning into Nike basketball shorts and a tank top and his gelled frosted hair turning into a backwards baseball gap.

Sort of like how the Hulk used to transform only gayer.

by Anonymousreply 200November 24, 2021 12:35 AM

30 years old. He was a co-worker. Secret office romance. He pursued me, wore me down, fucked me, dumped me a few days later over email. It was a torrid, tortured 3 year mind fuck of a relationship. He was very well endowed and I remember him saying I took it like water off a duck’s back. Called me a natural. I can’t imagine I was a great lay. Would love a night with him now. Years later, I think I would blow his mind.

by Anonymousreply 201November 24, 2021 2:23 PM

R191 What if the whole bath house population turns on you in a drove and forcibly gangbangs you??

That is my fantasy.

by Anonymousreply 202November 25, 2021 12:05 AM

Can I just say that I have never set foot in a bathhouse? I came out circa 1990, when they had fallen out of favor because of the AIDS crisis. All I knew were bars and house parties. Plus, being in the military, bathhouses were off limits…they even had shore patrol checking them out allegedly. Always was curious though. I almost went to one after I got out of the service, but I never built up the nerve.

by Anonymousreply 203November 25, 2021 12:34 AM

Grow a spine, R178, and get over your delusions about bathhouses.

by Anonymousreply 204November 25, 2021 1:19 AM

Ive never really been sure who popped my cherry. When I was 12 ,my brothers best friend who was 14 ( I had been sucking his dick for a year) stuck it in and pumped about 4 times and came. He had a nice sized dick but it was so brief it didnt even hurt. I didnt even try it again (though I kept right on sucking dicks) until I was 14 ,and the 32 year old neighbor of mine who looked just like Desi Arnez jr Really showed me what anal sex was all about. First time I ever came hands free. I was obsessed with him and getting it again,but I think he was so freaked out that he did it he moved. Thanks to him I knew all about lube,cleaning out etc ,so I started getting fucked quite often by neighborhood boys then . I aslo quickly realized boys fucked like bunny rabbits but men knew how to really throw it,so I pretty much from that point on slept with older men.

by Anonymousreply 205November 25, 2021 1:56 AM

1972. I was 18. It was my college roommate. He was gorgeous with an amazing body. I figured anyone that beautiful had to be gay. I flat out asked him if he wanted to fuck me. He didn’t hesitate. He had an average sized cock. It didn’t hurt, and it only took a couple of minutes before he shot his load in me. That first time was terrible memorable. We got better. Turns out he was also of average intelligence and dropped out after one semester. But that one semester was fun.

by Anonymousreply 206November 25, 2021 2:41 AM


by Anonymousreply 207November 25, 2021 7:20 AM

First time was in a bathhouse, either the St. Marks or the one down on 2nd Ave. I was like 19, freshman year in college (NYU), 1982. It was very dark, in one of those giant black-naugahyde-mattressed common rooms. It was an older black man. He couldn't have been that well-endowed, however, because I remember thinking "Oh! I think there's a dick in my ass!" It was a little underwhelming.

by Anonymousreply 208November 25, 2021 7:40 AM

The first time was a blond kid in college. It hurt like fuck but it was interesting enough to try again…much later. The second time as with a guy in NYC. He gave me poppers, which helped a lot. It didn’t feel like much but just doing the act was fun. The third time was a guy about 20 years older with a substantial cock. He first lick my ass until it was warm and supple. I was begging for it. That time, it finally felt amazing. He was a FB for 2 years.

I still favor older guys because the sex is so much more passionate

by Anonymousreply 209November 25, 2021 2:16 PM

[quote]R208 First time was in a bathhouse… He couldn't have been that well-endowed, however, because I remember thinking "Oh! I think there's a dick in my ass!" It was a little underwhelming.

Please do not put this in the “I Want to be Underwhelmed “ thread. We will lose it!

by Anonymousreply 210November 25, 2021 3:00 PM

[quote]What if the whole bath house population turns on you in a drove and forcibly gangbangs you??

Well this guy had heart attack in the TV room at my local sauna, and the cleaner found him next morning on his knees bent over a couch. They believe he'd been given several loads while in rigor mortis. Isn't that adorable. Heavenly Love. Literally.

by Anonymousreply 211November 25, 2021 3:46 PM

When I first came out, many guys tried to take my anal virginity but it hurt too much. I vowed never to have a cock up my ass. I enjoyed being a top for a good decade.

Some meth up my ass changed that really fast. The guy who first offered me the meth fucked me. After we were done hours later, I was still so horny (yes, meth is a relentless drug), I went to the bathhouse and got fucked by about 10 guys for the rest of the weekend because I was so intrigued by this new facet to sex.

I did meth every month for about a year and then stopped cold turkey. It just wasn’t doing much for me at that point.

In the naughts, the bathhouses used to be filled with methheads. And then people stopped meth as they understood how destructive it was. Others turned to the apps.

Fun times though before we all realized its price.

by Anonymousreply 212November 25, 2021 3:57 PM

Meth...up your ass??

Like you smoked meth and then it was easier..? Or you physically put meth up your....huh?

.....so confused...

by Anonymousreply 213November 26, 2021 3:12 PM

A Marine during a Labor Day weekend in 2000. I was so uptight about that night, he was unable to penetrate me. And he was really buzzed. But that next morning, he made me straddle him and sit on his dick. Hot sex. He was my first white boy too. He had a wife too, with a couple of kids. She was Asian (!) and knew that he was bisexual. As long as he took care of his family financially, she didn’t care.

by Anonymousreply 214November 26, 2021 4:22 PM

I was 16 and he was 24. He was really beautiful and sexy. His body was amazing and he had a big dick. I had messed around before but always as a top.

Anyway, I said yes and I hated it. Hated it so much I didn’t bottom again for a decade. Anyway, I thought it’d be pleasurable from the beginning and it wasn’t. It hurt so much. He wasn’t being rough either but I also didn’t want to say no thinking he’d lose interest in me. After that he did lose interest cause I didn’t want to bottom anymore.

I did eventually learn to enjoy bottoming. Still more of a top though.

by Anonymousreply 215November 26, 2021 4:34 PM

18-year-old Morrocan rentboy, outdoors behind some bushes.

by Anonymousreply 216November 26, 2021 4:35 PM

r216 low rent.

by Anonymousreply 217November 26, 2021 4:36 PM


by Anonymousreply 218November 26, 2021 4:36 PM

You don't know him, OP.

by Anonymousreply 219November 26, 2021 4:52 PM

R217 had his in the darkness of the back of a box at the opera. High rent.

by Anonymousreply 220November 27, 2021 1:52 AM

R213, it’s called a “booty bump.” You stick meth crystals directly up your ass (some dilute the meth first and shoot it up your ass). It makes you an insatiable bottom.

by Anonymousreply 221November 28, 2021 12:26 AM

Was a dude on crutches who was half italian and half german in Toronto. Came on his sheets while he fucked me with his fat dick. Felt incredible.

by Anonymousreply 222November 28, 2021 12:32 AM

Hot R222. Did he know he made you cum hands free?

by Anonymousreply 223November 28, 2021 1:03 AM
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