Jack Grealish, Parte the Sixthe ⚽️🦁

Nice of Southgate to let Jack stretch those beautiful godlike yet pointless legs for 20 minutes and rifle through the toys in his bag of tricks before scrambling on the coach home last night to avoid paps asking about his latest sex scandal.

Really, though, England should have left him on the bench and brought on a younger more efficient player instead. Love the stupid bastard, but truthfully—not only is he drawing negative attention, he’s also out of form, and unfairly taking a spot from a young hungry newcomer who wants to perform and behave well.

so to do the sex maths

jack was fucking amarah from leeds + emily atack + had an anniversary with sasha all in the same week. and possibly + whichever bloke has took his fancy at England camp in the last ten days

everyone must have herpes

The whore of Solihull has also just admitted that Matty Targett of Aston Villa has ‘nailed’ him before now😏

As if we couldn’t have guessed

Emile Smith-Rowe debuted for England last night to huge applause...and came on with socks rolled down.

Move over Jack, you’re not The It Girl anymore!

Foden’s obviously been teaching Jack some new vocabulary at the same time he teaches his own toddler to read. Thoughtful.

Jack was wearing Hendo’s club shirt number last night, just saying...

Jordan was taking no chances with those Albanian ruffians! Hands off his boy lads, or he’ll go apeshit.

@R5 “Oi ain’t good at cookin’, oi ain’t good at singin’, oi ain’t good at dancin’....football’s all oi’ve got in the lockah really”

Aw Jack you’re too modest! Don’t forget you’re a worldclass tart as well bab🥧

This man is so English looking. I swear I would know he was English based on a photo alone, although I couldn't quite say what features make it so obvious.

[quote] man is so English looking. I swear I would know he was English based on a photo alone

Do you think? Funny that you say that, as in actual fact he is of recent Irish extraction (2nd gen, I believe?). All of his traceable ancestors up to his grandparents came from County Derry/Dublin/Galway (Gort & Sneem, to be more precise). It’s only his parents—both from Irish families—as were born and raised in England.

As a young lad, he went to Catholic schools with Irish staff/boards, trained to play Gaelic football (different in style and rules to the English game, much more rough), and was eligible to play for the ROI national youth football team (which he did until he turned 19). So he’s quite strongly Irish, really.

Interestingly, several of the other senior footballers currently playing on the England national team have Irish blood, as well, among them Conor Coady, Declan Rice (another former ROI player like Jack), Harry Kane, Harry Maguire, and Kalvin Philips. We really must stop nicking all the good players from Ireland....

Jack & Hendo simultaneously both pick up mysterious ‘minor injuries’ and have to get jointly scanned, then sent home a game early.

Convenient, that, especially since they now live ten minutes apart by car, with plenty of discreet high-end hotels in-between...

[quote] “gReaLish LOVES to TEASE”

— ITV commentators in the gantry at Wembley slut-shaming Jack

Apparently, England’s training programme features games involving rubber chickens. Weird and silly, but kinky...

How can one slut shame someone like Jack who appears to be shame free?

Didn’t think the cheating saga could get any funnier or more busy, but lo it has indeed🤘

He had two reality famous women on the go at the same time, plus his gf, plus groupies, plus a teammate probably. Explains why he’s so out of form and distracted on-pitch and why he doesn’t make runs anymore unless he’s got the ball.

How gullible are these young women though, that all three (or more) of them thought they were the only one he was with? Famous footballers are all the same, me darlins.

Turbo fuckboys have to turbo fuck.

The way that Stevie G. is considering a ban on mentioning Jack in the Villa dressing room🙉that is a major diss (but not unwarranted if we’re being totally honest)

That will make that big sexy hero Tyrone Mings happy, at least. He’s going to want to make his own mark as the new Villa skipper.

Ok, I’ve had a night to sleep on the cheating story, and with some thought I really do think it’s seeded PR and very possibly lies or gross exaggeration.

Not to say that Jack doesn’t indiscriminately shag whatever fit person he can find. But we know from insider gossip that female Love Island alum often side-hustle as escorts and paid beards for famous people (sometimes using the show as a launchpad for their career), and that in recent years footballers have become clients of theirs. We know this, it’s the dirty open secret, yet media still take pains to gloss over it or make it seem something that it’s not. The fact that the evil economic behemoth that is Man City FC haven’t moved to squash such a squalid story about their newest expensive star player is telling. It’s all a little too timely and convenient.

As for Emily Atack, D-list TV actors with their careers in a coma can be as thirsty as reality-TV hustlers. I don’t doubt that she was approached by a media outlet/PR agency to put together a story (that is now being discredited by former costars of hers). Maybe Jack did actually fuck her the once in passing at a club or minor Brit celebrity event, but I really somehow doubt that it was the secret relationship that the gossip magazines have been pushing. Where would Jack find the time? The life of a top-flight pro-footballer is actually quite hyper-regimented—daily working out/conditioning for hours, strict diets, heavy restrictions on activities, curfews—hence why so many ballers marry so young and hire so many staff.

Finally, turning to poor old Sash. She is getting cheated on, *Fergie voice* no doubt about that, but the idea the media is presenting that she has been oblivious to it for the ten years she’s been Jack’s girlfriend and that she’s devastated to learn of it is completely ludicrous. No healthy unlobotomised woman is quite this stupid, not even the ones drunk with infatuation or hungry for fame & fortune. I believe that not only is she turning a blind eye, but that she’s savvy and in on the PR stunting. It’s hard to figure out if she’s a beard, though it wouldn’t surprise me in the least (she looks like his bestie hag in old candids of them together). To be fair to them, perhaps they were actually in love for a few short years as scabby schoolkids; it’s clear though that time has long passed.

The most interesting point for us to consider is how aggressive and full-on this ‘pussyhound’ narrative is. We safely assume most footballers are the same, without a barrage of clickbaity prompts. So why is media so keen to push and publicise this particular non-story about Jack? Food for Thot....

thotty Jack walking around every day feelin herself and tempting anyone who walks by 🐈

the power in her p*ssy is immense

In the R17 pics teen Jack really looks like an androgynous baby butch boi. So there’s that..

Just rewatched the Albania game last week back, and it’s so obvious that Jack took every second he was on the pitch to eyefuck Hendo. He looked like he was going to pop off with jealous horny agitation when his man went to help up a knocked-over Stonesy off the grass. Needy possessive baby..

^^^^^

pep’s saying grealish is injured in the same way southgate said he was injured and sent him home from the england camp early

simply because if grealo drops a stinker after these cheating scandals it’ll be all anyone talks about for a month

also i love when some of the more problematic players have these mystery illnesses. like kev's got covid and john's done his hamstring again but jack's just 'in pain'. in pain WHERE you precious little glass ornament bitch

Trent doesn’t like Jack much and makes no secret of it, but that’s nothing in the face of the seething distaste Raheem Sterling has for Grealish (and he’s right to have).

Anyone would be bitter. It’s almost stolen valour levels, the way Jack has poached the #10 shirt without doing much of anything at City to earn it.

Since he won't be playing Sunday vs. Everton, no doubt Jack will have more time to shag this weekend.

R24 yep, he’s now got to cram several weeks’ worth of rampant humping into the few grace days he can have off. You can tell he secretly resents playing a Prem schedule with how it’s cutting into his sex/social life, that it was a shock to the system. Probably hasn’t helped his stress with getting off drugs, either.

He only moved club/division because he wanted an England callup that badly. I don’t believe he actually ever minded playing in the domestic Championship; being the bigger fish in the little but warm and spacious pond suited him, whereas it seems to be driving him a bit nuts and sending his mentality/Ego off the rails that he’s bang-average and a weak useless spare part in the dangerous freezing lake where he currently is.

Now his crazed fangirls have switched from abusing Sasha with death-threats to defending her honour against these other gyals Jack has on the go? These groupies are genuinely baffling to me, please pick a gimmick ladies😥

Being a Prem star gets Jack more access to prime fanny. I don't think he would want to go back to being a big fish in the Championship.

R27 snakes and roundabouts mate.

The pitch rats in the Prem might be way fitter and more glam, but they’re also more way demanding and possessive and high-maintenance. They’ll typically catfight and cause embarrassing tabloid drama Real Housewives style, when they aren’t shitstirring to break up the squad. Escorts are usually an easier time at this level.

Champs cleatchasers on the other hand will quietly and anonymously let you put it anywhere for nothing and don’t expect to ever be wagged up (unless they’re the main childhood sweetheart gf like Sash). And they’re loyal sluts too—so long as they’re getting cock from a Footballah(Tm) who’s on telly, they aren’t about to troll and drive wedges between others. But yeah, a few of them are a bit minging tbf.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

My favourite moment in Treblegate was someone grassing up Jack as ‘acting like a puppy following Emily (Atack) around’. Honestly the breedable bottom energy of this man even jumps out around tiny women😏

Awful seeing Jack play with such tentative soft touch, as if he's not sure what to do anymore if he's not micromanaged and given a green light for every pass. He’s scraping by with pratfalls and it’s so embarrassing.

That bright strong vivacious confidence he always seemed to have at his feet is vanishing. Must miss the freedom he used to have.

Pep’s mental conditioning has already burrowed in and destroyed the intangibles of Grealish, putting jesses on him from which he can’t escape. Sad.

there's something very hot about him lying through his teeth

does the little slag play dumb to his mates and his sidepieces about getting pegged too

Southgate and his team will not like this triple-dippah scandal one bit. Doesn’t fit the new squeaky-clean loveable puppy-pile gimmick the team are going for.

And it’s not like Grealo’s got a year’s worth of stellar performances for club under his belt at the moment to exonerate him, either.

If Jack wants to secure his England spot for Qatar, he had better be ready next time he sees Gareth to shove Kane out the way, drop to his knees and start licking arse. If he doesn’t do something humiliating and drastic, then he is getting replaced (probably by Mason Greenwood) and future-endeavoured, without a doubt.

Have fun watching the World Cup at home with Dele & Eric, Jacky!

Jack’s only just emerged from his house after a days of hiding out in his flat from the wrath of Pep, Southgate, the press, his sidechicks, and probably also Hendo at some point (the man can really shout and have a go when he needs to).

Grealo looks like death warmed up, poor lamb. Hopefully he’s learned his lesson, but he probably hasn’t in all honesty.

Sasha’s got her diamond, what did I say?😅that happened with a quickness, she must have some serious dirt to blackmail him with...

They’re house-hunting in the leafy suburbs of Cheshire now, as well. Nice work if you can get it, eh?

Jack, at this point in your life, you're not meant to be engaged. Break it off and openly devote your off pitch life to shagging. It's your destiny turbo fuck boy.

If she's smart she'll secretly ditch her birth control and guarantee herself a paycheque for the next 18 years because it could not be more obvious this boy is not made for monogamy.

I'm thinking he needs a prostate massage.

[quote] If she's smart

Jack is so stupid that Sash doesn’t even have to be smart to take him for a ride. He’s playing himself without her having to lift a finger.

But yeah, a babytrap is the easiest surefire way to get her bag. In fairness to Sash, by now she has put in enough years of humiliation to earn it.

[quote] I'm thinking he needs a prostate massage.

R38 so you’re saying you won’t be needing all them fingers, then? Divvent knar why yad wanna dee this, like, but far be it for me to judge if you wanna get brave. Don’t worry, though, I’ll make it a nice quick clean break for you....

I can barely understand a word on this thread, but the pictures are nice...

R37 not to sound cruel, but Jack oughtn’t to breed, really. One of his siblings is dead (SIDS), another disabled, and he himself is quite profoundly thick. Jack is also rather injury-prone. Then there’s the Irish blood with its taste for addiction...

All this to say, his aren’t very good genes, except perhaps aesthetically.

Jack is Mr. December on the Man City 2022 calendar.

This just hit me—he’s faking an injury/illness so he doesn’t have to play Villa away at the Park next week.

The sneaky yellow-bellied little sket. I though he had a bit more mettle than that.

So she’s not showing absolute simpering loyalty to ‘England Captain’ (booo) Harry Kane, but also not completely throwing him under the bus either. What happened to the Skipper Hendo Agenda, Jack?

[quote] Grealish was asked to build his so-called ‘ultimate teammate’ based on a number of attributes, and when it came to shooting he didn’t quite know who to choose between Shearer and Kane. Grealish said: “I’m going to go with Alan Shearer. Or [Harry] Kane because I do actually think that Harry will break the record soon. I’ll go Shearer, only because he’s the top scorer ever in the Premier League.”

Ooh, it’s got a bit catty on socials ahead of the Villa-City clash!

Scottish midfielder hunk John McGinn still expresses liking and admiration for his departed Captain Jack, but Grealo apparently doesn’t really have any time or patience for him now (Hendo will be pleased to hear that).

jack on ur sofa hungover and horny and in distress

player can u help?

R47, even hungover, he does what he can to be fetching and enticing. He must be on the receiving end of someone's sexual desire.

[quote] He must be on the receiving end of someone's sexual desire.

Is there anyone in the Southwest of England who hasn’t already had him? And he’s making a channel through the North as we speak.

And given his presence on a Champions league squad, he's shagging his way through Europe now. And wait until he gets to Qatar next fall for World Cup.

Pep’s making him play Villa hahahahaha

Hilarious that he thinks he might not get booed if he shows some token politeness. Is he forgetting how the game works? The Villans will chew the prolapsed arse out of him, and he’ll thoroughly deserve it.