Have you ever been hit/punched by your boyfriend?

All I remember is it felt like a kiss.

OP,

The answe is to get out of that relationship.

If someone even JOKED about hitting me, I would never speak to them again.

I told him I was sorry for making him do that to me and that I would never make him angry or upset again. I then washed his laundry, made him dinner, and gave him my credit card to buy himself something to cheer up.

I dated a guy in my early 20’s that used to say that he wished he could punch me in the face when we fought. He would literally shake sometimes. To be fair, I fucked around a lot.

I once had a boyfriend slap me across the face for making a smartass comment. That had never happened to me before, ever in my life. We weren't even arguing or anything. I just made a sarcastic comment, which he sometimes had problems understanding due to cultural differences (he was from Serbia, where apparently sarcasm isn't a thing) and it just set him off.

In that split second after he slapped me, I just completely snapped. I know it's cliche but I literally saw red (everything had this reddish pink hue), and I felt like I left my body. My immediate physical response was to head-butt him as hard as I could, instantly breaking his nose and knocking him out. I remember feeling no pain or anguish about it in the moment, and just calmly staring at him, like a fucking psycho, as he lie there face down, with a small pool of blood forming by his head.

I "came to" immediately after that and started freaking out because I thought I had killed him. I called an ambulance and said there had been a fall, which was technically true, and they started asking what happened, and telling me not to try to move him but to try to see if he was breathing, which he was. And then he woke up and just started wailing in pain. And I swear in that moment another person took over for me and started asking him what happened, was he okay, all of these questions like I had no idea I had just done that to him, even though I knew exactly what I did. I remember asking, "Did you hit your head on the table when you fell?" And he was like, "I don't know!" And it became clear he had no idea what had just happened moments before.

The ambulance got there and I was kind of shitting my pants, because I wasn't sure what he remembered exactly, and what he'd say to the paramedics. I followed them to the ER, and was there while he was being treated, and I was trying to glean whether or not it was coming back to him what had happened, but he was just kind of out of it. The HCPs were asking both of us what happened, and I kind of played dumb, and said I wasn't sure what happened, just that I saw him go down. And he never said a word about happened to them or to me.

Even in later conversations, he said the moments surrounding it were a blur, and that all he could remember was waking up on the floor in the worst pain of his life. Either he was scared to admit he knew what really happened because he was scared of me after what I did to him, or he really didn't remember. I still don't know. We're not together anymore, and I haven't dated seriously since because I'm sort terrified of who I became in the heat of anger, and what I might be capable of when pushed.

“… as he LAY there…” Past tense of “to lie.”

But yeah, pretty good: 8.5/10

R7 Fuck! You know I wrote 'lay' first, but then I remembered a recent video where Chelsea Handler corrected someone for saying 'lay' instead of 'lie,' and I changed it. Fuck!

[quote]Did you stay? What happened?

Don't ask.

It’s why we divorced.

He accused me of cheating (I wasn’t and never had), he slapped me, and threw my phone at me. That was the second and last time he did that.

I left immediately afterward.

He used to manhandle me while drunk. He's much bigger than I am.

I finally told him that I loved him dearly but if he ever manhandled me again, I'd trip him and push his drunk ass over and kick his head in.

He never did it again.

[italic] You game your name and signed / a halo around my eye…

^^ GAVE your name

Slapped for being a wise ass, or during sex, yes. Punched no. I think it might have been interesting to train together and box each other, with certain boyfriends.

Only by your mom

No, but I got slapped by a male friend when I made a sarcastic insult to him in a group setting. I kinda froze, no one said a word. He never apologized & we didn’t really talk about it. A year or so later we were in his car & he leaned over to change the radio station & I flinched, thinking he was going to hit me again (for no reason). He busted a gut laughing when he saw me flinch.

We stayed friends for a couple years & I got my revenge, I stole his friends & one of the guys he liked.

My sister always said she would leave any man who laid a hand on her, but unfortunately her husband abuses her & gets into fistfights with his oldest son.

I think domestic violence, in whatever form, is grossly underreported & is much more rampant than one would think.

My friend’s sister would get hit by her husband.

Then her teenage son hit her.

I've been slapped viciously in an upscale Santa Monica restaurant. Does that count?

Has never happened; if it did, it would only be once.

I was with a raging NPD for a year. He was a volatile nightmare psychologically and emotionally, and eventually it became physical. He would become so enraged that even the musculature of his face and neck would change. The first time he got physical it was explained away (he had thrown me suddenly from the couch onto the floor, thinking his dog was getting into something). The second time, when he clotheslined me to show his objection to me repeating a question that he refused to answer, was my cue to leave and never look back.

In the heat of an argument, I slapped my Boyfriend across the face. I just wanted to be dramatic. He sat there and took it. rubbed his cheek and said 'don't you EVER do that again!" His restraint and the look on his face were enough.

I was slapped by a guy I knew at work which didn't sting but surprised me. Somebody later told me he was very attracted to me about which I had no idea.

No. That would be the instant I'd delete him.

[quote]I dated a guy in my early 20’s that used to say that he wished he could punch me in the face when we fought. He would literally shake sometimes. To be fair, I fucked around a lot.

OMG I wish he would have. WHORE.

Well, was hanging out with 2 other couples in a vacation house in the woods. Nothing to do really but drink. One of the guys who had been flirting with me from day one started punching me in the chest while we were in the kitchen. I wasn't sure what the F was going on. It wasn't super hard but no just some fist bump. I found out later he used to date guys and pretend he was rough with them so it must have been automatic spill over. Oddly enough he brought it up the next day and apologized. But didn't say why.

Clearly you didn't find him attractive enough to want to screw him.

He hits you once, it's his fault, he hits you twice, it's your fault. Don't stay around and cry 'domestic violence', he doesn't fuckin love you.

Never a partner.

My mother once slapped me in the heat of the moment when I was being a bratty teenager. It shocked us both. She’s never apologized - but she had a difficult family life growing up and never got any help for her issues, I take her as she is.

A boss once threw a phone across the room in front of me, not at me, but it was still very startling. She was extremely pregnant and furious at herself for a mistake she made. She also never apologized, I think she was too ashamed.

There are a lot of people out there with emotional issues or who have a childish fear of shame that prevents them from saying sorry.

OP, are you basically asking gay men?

All this SLAPPING. What are ya? A bunch of fairies?

R17 makes me sad. That poor woman. Reminds me of my partner’s aunt. Her husband is abusive, and her grown sons now verbally abuse her as well. They both sat around the thanksgiving table 5-6 years ago talking about how stupid and worthless she was. Everyone else around just sat silent. I can’t imagine how they act without other people there. It’s one thing to be abused by a spouse, but I can’t imagine how demoralizing it must be from your own kids.

I make it clear the moment we make the relationship official that if I even get the slightest hint that he could potentially even consider the notion of maybe thinking about hitting me, that we'd be done. Finito. Kaput. And that I'd be ending the relationship on the spot and walking out ASAP.

I'd rather die alone than to ever be in any situation where I have the slightest fear for my physical safety from the person I'm dating.

R32 sounds like a control freak.

Do you also warn him not to build atomic bombs in the basement?

If a guy I was dating ever hit me, it would be over, and just to be mean, I'd help the family search for him when he goes "missing".

I'm predict R32 has been mostly single.

I predict r35 did not attend college.

Oh, [italic]dear.[/italic]

Now, now… people don’t have to attend college. But you know what, r35? After even one college class, just one, those people turn into RAGING ABUSERS!

R35 had better scratch them off their potential dating list.

You can also get hit by employers, waiters, bus drivers and mail carriers (of both sexes.)

Best not to leave the house.

R31 did your partner at least tell his asshole cousins to STFU while his aunt was being ridiculed at the table? Or did your partner rationalize their silence with “oh, if I/we had said something, it would have just made it worse for her and ruin our lovely meal.”

I know many families are completely screwed up, but I can’t get my brain around 4-5 adult men verbally attacking their mother in the presence of other relatives who choose to ignore it and keep stuffing their fat faces. I don’t how you could continue respect your partner or his family after witnessing something like that.

Damn R6 - that's so intense. It's interesting because you probably never thought you would react that way. 8/10 for sure.

R6 You had me at "he was from Serbia, where apparently sarcasm isn't a thing"

I usually tl;dr a comment with that many paragraphs, but I read all the way to the end.

It's an 9/10 from me. I gave you an extra point for the headbutt. Well done!

My boyfriend beats my bussy up. Nightly!

Hit/punched? No! I don't date ETHNICS!

Yes. I was in a long-term relationship when I was younger, and there were perhaps three specific periods in my early 20s where he would be regularly violent.

It's very easy to say 'if anybody ever did that to me I'd just leave'. Because being beaten up by a partner robs one of the specific qualities that one needs to get out and leave a relationship - namely self-confidence and a sense that one is entitled to be be happy. I can hardly believe it even as I type it, but I used to think it was my fault, that it was deserved, and that of course he'd never do it again. I once had a bruise on my forehead, which I explained to a colleague as the result of having accidentally opened a cupboard door into my face. And I have a distinct, visceral memory of feeling as if I had died a little inside as I spoke those words, resorting to such contrived, cliched nonsense. It took me years to realise how destructive that behaviour was, and the long-term impact it had on my life, in so many ways.

Anyhow, I finally left him a few years later. I am now married, sickeningly happy, and we have a nice home and the best, most loved dog in the world. A few months ago, while getting his vaccine jab my brother in law noticed that my ex was also in the same queue. Apparently he's gotten fat and grey and looked dishevelled. So there's that, at least.

In 1998, my then boyfriend came home drunk, and was set off by me asking him to lay down. He punched me so hard in the kidney it ruptured. I still have issues today from it. I called 911, spent some time in the hospital. The boyfriend spent some time in jail. My older brother, and father rounded up a group, and beat the living shit out of him. He left town a few months later.

Thanks for sharing, Laura.

It wasn't even a slap or a punch, just a push: 30 years ago, one of my first boyfriends got severely drunk at a social event, so I dragged him outside to take him home, when he realized what was happening, he pushed me so strongly that I fell on the ground. I managed to get him into my car, drive him home, and never saw him again.

Don't do things that warrant getting punched. Problem solved.

No. No one has ever come close to that. I really do think, through no fault of their own, people who live in DV find each other. My sister has had boyfriends with explosive tempers, and she likes to push buttons and be hostile. We grew up in the same home, etc., but I’ve had good, placid relationships and hers are always volatile.

I’m not blaming anyone, but there are some personal dynamics I can’t explain, at work.

I’ve never been hit or punched, but twice in my life I’ve felt that if I had a gun in my hand I would’ve pulled the trigger. The weird part is that I don’t even remember who one of those objects of my fury was. I just remember thinking, twice, that now I know how murder is possible.

My stars!

I pay men to smack me around.

Personally I liked being spanked.

^Christian Bale, get back on your mark, and try not to flair your nostrils this take.

R43 and R44 - I'm sorry that shit happened to both of you. I'm glad you're okay now. xo

The first guy I dated was a wealthy real estate guy from the upper west side. Water polo player in college. He wore a wedding ring when doing business so people thought he was straight. Came to find out he was a Republican. Whatever. I was 20, he was 35 and the kind of beefy daddy I was in to.

Anyway, we were at Candle Bar in NYC after a fundraiser he took me to (anyone remember Toys for Tots?) , getting really drunk. He was telling me about a cocktail party he had the year before and said "I even invited my next door neighbor who is black."I immediately responded "Well, I guess you fulfilled your quota."

Next thing I knew he smacked across the face and just sat there glaring at me. I dont know what came over me but I just burst out laughing. LOUD. I'm a big guy. I was big then. I just stood up over him and let him know he got a pass because his slap was so weak. Then said "fuck off" and left, never saw him again.

Yes. The stories I could tell, unfortunately.

Of course not. I only have lovely boyfriends.

This one seems OK. Not a boyfriend, of course.