British DLers, please explain this Rylan Clark-Neal mess

The texture. It looks like he went through every bottle of mommy's make-up while she "popped down to the shops." He seems to use one of those beard guides to create some sythentic arc, the sideburns widening at the base of the ear and coming 'round the jawline like those chinstraps starlets were always wearing to bed in 1940s films. Plastic and prissy as fuck, everything about him.

The homunculus husband on the other hand looks like a dirty fucker, not good dirty, just unclean and likely to wipe his stinky hole on all the soft furnishings.

I cannot stand him. He looks like a freak with his dyed hair and oversized veneers. He has been plugging away for years, utterly talentless but determined, and has finally succeeded in getting onto mainstream TV and radio. They are even using him to sell car insurance, but I don’t know what demographic they are aiming him at. To top it all his honking Essex accent grates on me.

I think it’s more of an Essex thing than a gay thing. He keeps the housewives entertained, like a modern day Dale Winton. He’s been around forever, started as a no-hope X Factor contestant.

On a small island, it doesn’t take much to catapult one’s self to fame, if you’re determined. Like that Tulisa bitch whose opinion seemed to matter about everything a few years back. For nothing, no reason. Cheryl Cole was just a minor league ahead of these two and then collapsed when Cowell tried to launch her stateside, just like that Welsh dude that left Americans scratching their heads.

OMG. I haven’t seen a photo of Rylan in years! That’s a global supply of fillers in his face!

At least the Welsh dude was gorgeous!

He's wearing enough foundation & powder for 3 people in that left side photo in the OP.

He's a daytime TV presenter. What more do you need?

I just listened to him interview Sugababes on the radio. He's likeable enough.

So dreadful to listen to, he makes even that pandering brainless chuffer Nick Grimshaw seem tolerable on the radio.

He's always irritated me, but I'm not sure if it's him per se, or that he looks exactly like someone I know in real life who is insufferable.

'I have made a number of mistakes which I deeply regret and have inevitably led to the breakdown of our marriage.'

GIRL WHAT DID YOU DO!!!

I enjoyed him on BOTS, where the camp worked well.

I like how masc she is!

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More fillers! That's the ticket!

I've seen him on a few things and he is surprisingly entertaining.

Rylan's nothing compared to this bunter

OP, you didn't mention his new teef.

He got a new set of teef after the boyfriend left him.

much prefer the black tbh

He's actually quite likable and if he were a woman doing all that to his appearance no one would have a problem

I think it's the ex that's the problem. Only seemed to be with Rylan for the exposure aspect, but was bad even when given the opportunity to be on This Morning several times.

Wouldn't surprise me if he played the "you're always working" card, hence why Rylan felt it was his fault.

Baby that face is BEAT

He's actually really kind and self deprecating

Rylan really grated when he started on X Factor and then Celebrity Big Brother but he's a very talented presenter. He's warm and genuine with his guests and gets a lot out of them. He's great on the radio and a good addition to the Eurovision team.

Rylan has clearly got some body issues. He did look hideous at one point and he's acknowledged the botox and teeth were a bad decision.

He's been open about his mental health problems and the impact on his weight but the recent Sunday tabloid "expose" about him demanding a guy he was out in a group with gives him "the gear" and the comments from "pals" that they're worried about him make it obvious there's a drug addiction issue. The response from the public was quite something, attacking the Sunday Mirror for reporting the story.

like many other posters here, I really like Rylan. He's funny,self deprecating, sincere and has a very smooth delivery when handling hosting duties. He did a great job handling the circus that was Celebrity Big Brothers Bit On The Side.

His husband was the gay cop on Big Brother. Was Rylan hosting the after show at the time?

Is it "Rillin" or "Rye-lan"?

It's Rye-lan as in Oil of Ulan.

Katie Price with (more) facial hair.

A nosejob, glow in the dark, oversized teefs plus boot polish for eyebrows, beard and hair. Add in the make-up and it's a very hard no.

OP he's back to just Rylan Clark now. Neal was his ex's surname.

His ex was hot. Any verificatia of sizemeat for Dan Neal?