Thanks R5/Cinesnatch (great handle).
[quote] As far as “successful,” that’s open to interpretation. If you’re talking financial/professional, well then, that doesn’t necessarily mean “stable” (certainly not mentally/emotionally).
Yes, this is so true. And I ought to have clarified what I meant. YMMV, but for me when it comes to success and stability, I identify it as a holistic state of good ‘health’ across the board—someone who is good at handling their abundance and generating it (not just money) in an ethical way, someone who looks after themselves and others both physically and emotionally, someone who is responsible but also knows how to enjoy life, someone who can build an attractive interesting life without leaving a trail of hurt and destruction.
[quote] If you’re a good person who is interesting and you put yourself out there, you’ll attract like people. Just keep an open mind.
Well, ‘good’ is relative too, of course—my profile of a ‘good’ person is someone humane and ethically-minded and truthful, but not necessarily rigidly by the book. I try to live up to that, but I’m aware that this may not align with the ‘goodness’ scale of another.
As for interesting, that is a source of awkwardness for me, as growing up I was always treated like a boring social pariah—though looking back, I’m not sure this was fair or always accurate. I’m definitely very accepting, but tbh this has got me in trouble more than once due to permeable boundaries (something else I’m working on in therapy).
Actually, with all this in mind, I want to amend what I wrote in my replies above a bit. While I’m struggling with income and with handling a successful independent interesting adult life atm, I don’t believe I belong on that frequency for good (or, at least, I don’t want to get stuck there). Nor do I wish to keep calling myself things like “broke” and “lonely” and “boring” and “weird/antisocial” etc., because that seems partially to be what’s keeping me in this low-vibe state.
Since I can remember, I’ve always seemed automatically to assume the temporary ‘placeholder/standin’ friend or the ‘therapist/rescuer’ friend, who has usually been dumped when the other person gets their life together and finds themselves in a better place. My aim is for that not to be my pattern anymore—for me to be the one who moves onward and upward.