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Have you ever turned down sex with someone beautiful?

My sexual history is pretty much non-existent. But one of the few times someone was interested in me, he was a very, very beautiful man. But the way in which he demanded I agree to sex on that basis alone put all my hackles up.

I don't regret turning the experience down, BTW.

by Anonymousreply 28October 22, 2021 1:07 AM

That must be a painful regret for you, OP.

by Anonymousreply 1October 18, 2021 4:37 AM

Yes, when I was young and stupid and wasn’t willing to deal with the reality that I was gay. College could have been so much more fun, but I was obsessed with my friends and roommates not finding out.

One weekend my roommate’s hometown friend stayed with us. The two of us ended up hanging out by ourselves while my roommate worked. We came home from a bar (not even drunk.) I went to the bathroom and came out to find him in my bed in only his underwear. I tried to laugh it off, but he could see I was uncomfortable. He became embarrassed and went to the living room couch, not saying a word to me until he left the next day.

Dammit...that boy was beautiful...curly blond and tanned with a tight little ass. A total sweetheart too. What a fool I was.

by Anonymousreply 2October 18, 2021 4:52 AM

R2 You never saw him again?

by Anonymousreply 3October 18, 2021 4:55 AM

Yes, regrettably.

I was in Bergdorf, Goodman one day, waiting for a guy that I just had become boyfriends with. While waiting, this gorgeous model-type tried to pick me up. The more I turned him down, the more he was determined to bed me. He guaranteed me a great time, etc. When I told him I was in a monogamous relationship, he said no one else needed to know. He finally gave up, and left. Much to my surprise, the (likely gay) sales clerks said they were surprised I turned him down, and did I know who he was? Obviously I didn’t. He was one of the top models at the time. I don’t remember his name.

My new boyfriend was late in arriving. I later found out he was late because he was having a hookup before meeting up with me. This was pre-Internet. So much for the monogamy — it was to be only me. I totally regret not going home with the model.

by Anonymousreply 4October 18, 2021 4:56 AM

Ye< and if you turn down sex for any reason, it was a good enough reason at the time. Sadly, we don't often get do-overs, but you probably made the right choice at the time.

by Anonymousreply 5October 18, 2021 4:57 AM

R5 — It’s R4. You are right. I was young, dumb, it was my first ever relationship. If I did hook up with the model on the sly, I’m sure I would have carried the guilt all the years my ex and I were together. I guess it was better to play it conservatively. Too bad there are many with whom I had many regrets after, even if it seemed like a good thing at the time.

by Anonymousreply 6October 18, 2021 5:03 AM

Sometimes I don't masturbate, if that's what you mean.

by Anonymousreply 7October 18, 2021 5:10 AM

R7, in gen Z parlance, is a 'mood'. 😂

by Anonymousreply 8October 18, 2021 5:13 AM

Not at all, R1.

I don't wish to degrade myself, no matter what the person demanding it looks like.

by Anonymousreply 9October 18, 2021 5:20 AM

Yes, quite a few times. It was because I felt their approach somehow offended me or seemed disrespectful. Little did I know how the opportunities would dry up one day!

by Anonymousreply 10October 18, 2021 5:23 AM

No R3. My guess is that he was ashamed and was worried I would tell my roommate. For a few years after that, I thought about him. I ended up coming out to a few friends and had my first boyfriend only two months later. Maybe he was what forced me to deal with myself. The regret and the shame that I made him feel bad about himself bothered me.

by Anonymousreply 11October 18, 2021 5:24 AM

Twice. Once with a smoking hot drunk surfer boy who crawled in my lap and kissed all over my neck and told me he was dying to fuck me. To this day I dont know why I turned that down. The 2nd time was this wildly beautiful French Canadian with shoulder length curly black hair and a body sculpted out of marble. Not to mention a fat uncut dick that easily was over 8 inches (he showed it to me sitting at the bar) . I was all set to go with that stud to a motel when the bartender chick pulled me to the side and said "You do NOT want to go anywhere with him" . When I queried her as to why the fuck not,she told me she had heard he was very violent during sex . Drunk as I was i started paying close attention to his face and voice and realized that the crazy was indeed emanating from him . Had she not clued me in,Id have ppossibly been dead just like the drunk queen who hung out there 2 weeks later. They found him beat to death in his apt. The canadian disappeared right around that time.

by Anonymousreply 12October 18, 2021 5:29 AM

Yes, twice. Both guys were outrageously sexy but both were drunks and neither could even stay sober long enough to have sex with which was alarming. Both were astounded I walked, they were used to this, I guess.

by Anonymousreply 13October 18, 2021 5:33 AM


by Anonymousreply 14October 18, 2021 5:38 AM

r12, holy shit, I'm glad you were warned. What city was this in?

by Anonymousreply 15October 18, 2021 5:50 AM

Many times. I'm not typically attracted to beautiful guys. I like someone just a little bit off.

by Anonymousreply 16October 18, 2021 5:52 AM

Once. I was desperate and decided to place a hookup ad in a local alternative rag. This hot blond guy about 10 years younger than me showed up at the door. I was shocked. I was a little chubbier at the time and in no way felt confident about getting naked with this stud. He seemed to not care and started necking with me, but I had to decline.

Just weird. I would do the same again. After that I got more specific about what I was looking for.

by Anonymousreply 17October 18, 2021 5:57 AM

No sex was explicitly offered, but I once found myself unexpectedly in the path of a model I had long crushed on from afar & he very approvingly said “hmmm” as I passed by. I should’ve stopped to engage him, but I kept walking.

by Anonymousreply 18October 18, 2021 7:00 AM

When I was in my late 30/ and in the best shape f my life, I passed on an opportunity with a guy from my gym that everyone wanted. Model handsome. The most perfect muscular body. Super masculine. He had been in the US Army Rangers but was working in finance when I met him. He was bisexual and had both a girlfriend he lives with and a boyfriend he spent time with. (Obviously he was more than a bit arrogant/cocky so it would have been all about getting plowed by him, not charmed.).Because of his girlfriend, He couldn’t host. I was in a long-distance relationship and passed because I was afraid of what my female roommate would think if I brought him home. Idiot.

by Anonymousreply 19October 18, 2021 7:22 AM

^^ mistyped. I was Late 20s. He would never have wanted me in my late 30s.

by Anonymousreply 20October 18, 2021 7:23 AM

Who was that guy? (some DL'er must know... I'm too tired to google and not sure what to pop in).... Warren Something. Shaved head, in a big band maybe 10 or 15 years ago. Supposedly str8 but occasionally bi, known for having a big, beautiful dick. Insanely hot guy.

About 10 years ago, I was working out at Golds Gym/Venice Thanksgiving Day before heading to a friend's for dinner in that neighborhood. I recognized him in the gym, smiled and said hello. On my way out, he was there, outside, in front of the building. Asked me what I was up to. OMG - definitely giving me the hard cruise. As it was, I was already running late for this dinner. I told him so. Gave him my phone number and (practically begged?) for him to call. He gave me the impression he would.

I'm still waiting......Thinking back, I would have sucked him off in the parking lot if necessary and too fucking bad if I was late to the party!

by Anonymousreply 21October 18, 2021 7:24 AM

I mean, I made my choices...I have to live with them.

There was one big gay icon in our world; a personality guy; not known for acting but he was trying to act. We were at a party and he joked that he'd have sex with me if I could get him an audition. He was joking but we all know people aren't always joking if you can help them.

We were in a group of people and I laughed it off, made some comeback that got a big laugh tho I can't seem to recall what it was.

I suppose I regret not saying: "Well, since there's no guarantee you'll get that part, why don't we just go over to that corner and make out and I'll see what I can do."

The irony is I could have probably gotten him an audition and he either would have taken me up on the offer and we'd have made out or laughed it off and then I would have too because I would have deadpanned the line. He's the perfect height for me. I like a guy I have to look up to a bit and someone bigger so I can wrap my arms around his shoulders.

I won't say his name in case he's reading this but you all know him.

by Anonymousreply 22October 18, 2021 7:31 AM


by Anonymousreply 23October 19, 2021 5:38 PM

r21 Warren Cuccurullo?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 24October 19, 2021 5:49 PM

Yes. Numerous. As I started getting into really good shape, I got a boyfriend. As soon as we started dating, men at the gym started hitting on me left and right. I turned them down because I was really into my new boyfriend. He ended up cheating on me numerous times. By time we broke up, it was the midst of COVID lockdowns and I started getting fluffier. Still haven’t recovered and have been slacking about getting back in the gym. Men still look, but nobody explicitly hits on me.

by Anonymousreply 25October 19, 2021 6:20 PM

R25: Get into really good shape again for the spring/summer! You still have a chance to fix thus and give your ex the middle finger. The rest of us are too old/too late, sigh.

by Anonymousreply 26October 19, 2021 6:29 PM


by Anonymousreply 27October 20, 2021 7:43 PM

R26, maybe it is too late but how about WE try to get in the best shape possible and see what happens?

by Anonymousreply 28October 22, 2021 1:07 AM
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