Have you ever turned down sex with someone beautiful?

That must be a painful regret for you, OP.

Yes, when I was young and stupid and wasn’t willing to deal with the reality that I was gay. College could have been so much more fun, but I was obsessed with my friends and roommates not finding out.

One weekend my roommate’s hometown friend stayed with us. The two of us ended up hanging out by ourselves while my roommate worked. We came home from a bar (not even drunk.) I went to the bathroom and came out to find him in my bed in only his underwear. I tried to laugh it off, but he could see I was uncomfortable. He became embarrassed and went to the living room couch, not saying a word to me until he left the next day.

Dammit...that boy was beautiful...curly blond and tanned with a tight little ass. A total sweetheart too. What a fool I was.

R2 You never saw him again?

Yes, regrettably.

I was in Bergdorf, Goodman one day, waiting for a guy that I just had become boyfriends with. While waiting, this gorgeous model-type tried to pick me up. The more I turned him down, the more he was determined to bed me. He guaranteed me a great time, etc. When I told him I was in a monogamous relationship, he said no one else needed to know. He finally gave up, and left. Much to my surprise, the (likely gay) sales clerks said they were surprised I turned him down, and did I know who he was? Obviously I didn’t. He was one of the top models at the time. I don’t remember his name.

My new boyfriend was late in arriving. I later found out he was late because he was having a hookup before meeting up with me. This was pre-Internet. So much for the monogamy — it was to be only me. I totally regret not going home with the model.

Ye< and if you turn down sex for any reason, it was a good enough reason at the time. Sadly, we don't often get do-overs, but you probably made the right choice at the time.

R5 — It’s R4. You are right. I was young, dumb, it was my first ever relationship. If I did hook up with the model on the sly, I’m sure I would have carried the guilt all the years my ex and I were together. I guess it was better to play it conservatively. Too bad there are many with whom I had many regrets after, even if it seemed like a good thing at the time.

Sometimes I don't masturbate, if that's what you mean.

R7, in gen Z parlance, is a 'mood'. 😂

Not at all, R1.

I don't wish to degrade myself, no matter what the person demanding it looks like.

Yes, quite a few times. It was because I felt their approach somehow offended me or seemed disrespectful. Little did I know how the opportunities would dry up one day!

No R3. My guess is that he was ashamed and was worried I would tell my roommate. For a few years after that, I thought about him. I ended up coming out to a few friends and had my first boyfriend only two months later. Maybe he was what forced me to deal with myself. The regret and the shame that I made him feel bad about himself bothered me.

Twice. Once with a smoking hot drunk surfer boy who crawled in my lap and kissed all over my neck and told me he was dying to fuck me. To this day I dont know why I turned that down. The 2nd time was this wildly beautiful French Canadian with shoulder length curly black hair and a body sculpted out of marble. Not to mention a fat uncut dick that easily was over 8 inches (he showed it to me sitting at the bar) . I was all set to go with that stud to a motel when the bartender chick pulled me to the side and said "You do NOT want to go anywhere with him" . When I queried her as to why the fuck not,she told me she had heard he was very violent during sex . Drunk as I was i started paying close attention to his face and voice and realized that the crazy was indeed emanating from him . Had she not clued me in,Id have ppossibly been dead just like the drunk queen who hung out there 2 weeks later. They found him beat to death in his apt. The canadian disappeared right around that time.

Yes, twice. Both guys were outrageously sexy but both were drunks and neither could even stay sober long enough to have sex with which was alarming. Both were astounded I walked, they were used to this, I guess.

Nope!

r12, holy shit, I'm glad you were warned. What city was this in?

Many times. I'm not typically attracted to beautiful guys. I like someone just a little bit off.

Once. I was desperate and decided to place a hookup ad in a local alternative rag. This hot blond guy about 10 years younger than me showed up at the door. I was shocked. I was a little chubbier at the time and in no way felt confident about getting naked with this stud. He seemed to not care and started necking with me, but I had to decline.

Just weird. I would do the same again. After that I got more specific about what I was looking for.

No sex was explicitly offered, but I once found myself unexpectedly in the path of a model I had long crushed on from afar & he very approvingly said “hmmm” as I passed by. I should’ve stopped to engage him, but I kept walking.

When I was in my late 30/ and in the best shape f my life, I passed on an opportunity with a guy from my gym that everyone wanted. Model handsome. The most perfect muscular body. Super masculine. He had been in the US Army Rangers but was working in finance when I met him. He was bisexual and had both a girlfriend he lives with and a boyfriend he spent time with. (Obviously he was more than a bit arrogant/cocky so it would have been all about getting plowed by him, not charmed.).Because of his girlfriend, He couldn’t host. I was in a long-distance relationship and passed because I was afraid of what my female roommate would think if I brought him home. Idiot.

^^ mistyped. I was Late 20s. He would never have wanted me in my late 30s.

Who was that guy? (some DL'er must know... I'm too tired to google and not sure what to pop in).... Warren Something. Shaved head, in a big band maybe 10 or 15 years ago. Supposedly str8 but occasionally bi, known for having a big, beautiful dick. Insanely hot guy.

About 10 years ago, I was working out at Golds Gym/Venice Thanksgiving Day before heading to a friend's for dinner in that neighborhood. I recognized him in the gym, smiled and said hello. On my way out, he was there, outside, in front of the building. Asked me what I was up to. OMG - definitely giving me the hard cruise. As it was, I was already running late for this dinner. I told him so. Gave him my phone number and (practically begged?) for him to call. He gave me the impression he would.

I'm still waiting......Thinking back, I would have sucked him off in the parking lot if necessary and too fucking bad if I was late to the party!

I mean, I made my choices...I have to live with them.

There was one big gay icon in our world; a personality guy; not known for acting but he was trying to act. We were at a party and he joked that he'd have sex with me if I could get him an audition. He was joking but we all know people aren't always joking if you can help them.

We were in a group of people and I laughed it off, made some comeback that got a big laugh tho I can't seem to recall what it was.

I suppose I regret not saying: "Well, since there's no guarantee you'll get that part, why don't we just go over to that corner and make out and I'll see what I can do."

The irony is I could have probably gotten him an audition and he either would have taken me up on the offer and we'd have made out or laughed it off and then I would have too because I would have deadpanned the line. He's the perfect height for me. I like a guy I have to look up to a bit and someone bigger so I can wrap my arms around his shoulders.

I won't say his name in case he's reading this but you all know him.

Bump

r21 Warren Cuccurullo?

Yes. Numerous. As I started getting into really good shape, I got a boyfriend. As soon as we started dating, men at the gym started hitting on me left and right. I turned them down because I was really into my new boyfriend. He ended up cheating on me numerous times. By time we broke up, it was the midst of COVID lockdowns and I started getting fluffier. Still haven’t recovered and have been slacking about getting back in the gym. Men still look, but nobody explicitly hits on me.

R25: Get into really good shape again for the spring/summer! You still have a chance to fix thus and give your ex the middle finger. The rest of us are too old/too late, sigh.

bump

R26, maybe it is too late but how about WE try to get in the best shape possible and see what happens?

bump

I was young and didn’t know what “Mama like” meant.

Back when the mid to late 1990's when I was going to bars heavily and would get cruised frequently by hot guys- I was far too uptight to talk to anyone so when a hot guy would over and stand next to me and start giving me looks and lean into me and try to catch my glance I would walk out of the bar- I gave me an extra high from knowing that I rejected ( in a way/but not really) a hot guy who was not used to being rejected.

The only person I ended up outsmarting was myself because the high would not last long and in a few days I would be frustrated and lonely once again.

No. I'm a sucker for a beautiful face or body.

[quote]Many times. I'm not typically attracted to beautiful guys. I like someone just a little bit off.

Same as R16. I've said yes to many I thought were beautiful, but the conventional ideal of gay men of a beautiful man is often not mine and I have said no many times.

Yes, after I went to WW 20 years ago and lost nearly 50 pounds in one summer.

One of my customers, who was absolutely sexy and handsome, hadn't seen me over the summer when I was losing weight. He came in around Labor Day (I was about 45 pounds slimmer) and told me how great I looked. I thanked him, and was a bit nervous as I always was around him. Beautiful blue eyes, dark hair, some light facial hair, perfect teeth, and an incredible body - never could figure out if he was gay or not. We always had a friendly, polite conversation when he was in the store -nothing too personal.

So he's asking me different questions about the weight loss, and was telling me what a handsome guy I was (he was about five years older than I, but looked younger in my eyes). Then he asked me if I wanted to go to the beach with him on Labor Day. I stuttered from the shock and told him I already had plans (I did). Then he came closer to me and said, "I'd love to give you a blow job. You around at all this weekend?" This was a dream come true, and I didn't know what to say. Like a fool, I said I wasn't free at all. One of the biggest regrets in my life (and I don't have many). Sad to say, he never came back in the store again - I think he was too ashamed (that wasn't my intention).

I believe what happened in my head was subconsciously, I realized he was only interested in me sexually because of my weight loss. I was the same guy, same personality, etc. he had known for five years. If I hadn't lost the weight, would he be interested in me sexually ? So my reaction was to refuse him.

R24 - I Googled and found him, too! He's been on a DL thread since 2021, that's how I remembered him. He's the "interview me while I shower" musician. lol

Hey, R21 from four years ago! Are we right? (See R35)

R34 - That was painful to read! It sounded so hot, but I could understand the boner-killer when your ego said, "But why now?"

You're a great writer, btw! You always paint a very clear and descriptive picture in your anecdotes. (I remember your stories cuz you're the "store guy") ;-)

R37 Thanks for the compliment. I'm glad you can see where I was coming from - I was still the same guy he knew for five years, only trimmed down. He was my dream guy to have sex with - but for once my big head did the thinking instead of my little head.

Yes. It's why I often don't talk to 'em much, just say "my place is nearby, let's go." After sex, well, you know how it is, they dress and leave. A few times I ask for a number, or have a number shoved at me. I live in Greenwich Village, several bars are nearby. Sometimes a real looker comes my way, but no matter the great face and build, after some conversation I realize they just aren't my kind of guy. There's too many guys around to compromise yourself.

[quote]Have you ever turned down sex with someone beautiful?

Only on those occasions when I don't jerk off.

No. No one beautiful ever wanted me.

I turned down a hot coworker because he was too mean.

Yes, I missed out on a hookup with a really gorgeous guy be ause I was too inexperienced to know I was meant to follow him out of a bar.

It was the days when there were a lot of gay bars in NYC, and I was trying them out, very young and green, not a virgin but no very experienced in the ways of gay bar etiquette, when one night a really extraordinarily handsome guy gave me a dazzling, dimpled smile and started chatting me up. He was tall, had wavy light brown hair, big blue eyes and a fantastic body. We chatted and sparked for about 15 minutes when he said he was just going to step outside for a cigarette.

I said okay and sat patiently waiting for him to come back, when I noticed all the guys around me turned to look at me like I was a crazy figure of curiosity. It finally, slowly dawned on me that if interested, I was meant to follow him out. As I hopped off my bar stool, he came back in and started chatting with another guy. I cut in and said I enjoyed talking to him. He looked through me and said, yeah, maybe we’d run into each other again.

I left the bar feeling mortified, stupid and filled with regret. I realized he must have thought I was playing games, playing hard to get, was being a conceited asshole in snubbing him. For years, I’d go ice cold with shame at the memory.

When I had my store for 25 years, I decided from day one to focus on business and make it a success, which I have to say I did. Sure, there were guys I noticed and could make me quiver, and I was polite and cordial with - but didn't expect anything else. Towards the end, when I was closing, one of my female coworkers who was with me for a very long time said something to me that 'she noticed' over the years: the number of guys who would come in and flirt with me, and I ignored their flirtation. I was dumbfounded.

I asked who she meant in particular, and she started naming off customers who were indeed regulars of mine, and I would chat with in the store (bankers, lawyers, doctors, etc.) - gorgeous guys I would have gone out with in a hearbeat if I had paid attention. Even some of the delivery men and some sales reps (really cute guys). They were all around my age.

She even remembered some of the dialogue I had with these guys and quoted them verbatim: Remember when Craig came in last summer on his way to an awards ceremony he was going to and he said he didn't want to attend alone, and he wanted to go with someone fun like you ? He was flirting with you and you didn't even realize it ! That was your chance to say, "I'd love to go to that!" and you would've been on your way! " He looked so disappointed when you didn't take the bait.

I did remember that - like an idiot, I said, "You'll have a good time going by yourself." And this guy was drop-dead gorgeous with an incredible body.

She rattled off more incidents she witnessed, and she was right - I blew it more than once.

[quote] I turned them down because I was really into my new boyfriend. He ended up cheating on me numerous times.

R25, I too have been in situations where I turned down sex with hot guys because I was being faithful to a boyfriend who, I would find out later, had no qualms whoring around being my back. I have no regrets. I was being true to my moral principles, and I broke up with them holding my head high. The latest one realised too late what he did and begged to get back together, and frankly seeing him grovelling gave me more pleasure than a quick revenge fuck with a random hot guy.

R44! 🥺

I have never turned down sex with anyone.

"Have you ever turned down sex with someone beautiful?"

Yes, but I'm woman, so . . . Maybe six times I can recall right now, if you include dating someone beautiful who would have or wanted to sleep with you, or situations where it was in the air but I choose not to follow up.

I turned down this beauty because i was going to dinner with my friend. Only to have my friend delay dinner because....you guessed it, he was having sex with said guy I turned down. I didn't tell my friend but he told me the details over dinner. I was disgusted.

R68- I guess you and your friend both knew that person.