Fat shaming

OP types fat.

I joke about fat people on dl especially public figures but in real life I don’t care. There’s too much going on it just doesn’t matter to me.

*winks at r2*

Vivian Vance

The bigger the fupa, the tastier the chalupa.

I was a fat kid at times, so I have a soft spot for fat people. When you’ve been fat you can see clearly and brutally how shallow most people are and the strange venom a lot of people direct to fat kids and adults, if they’re not busy ignoring you. People who have always been thin and able-bodied can’t understand that until they get old and dismissed for that reason. There was an episode of This American Life about a woman who took some kind of Mexican speed and went from obese to perfectly thin, at which point she met her husband; you can hear in her segment as she and her husband are discussing her weight and she realizes (because he admits) that he wouldn’t have married her if she was her old self—how painful that is for her. I find that for many people who’ve been fat, you love and defend that fat version of yourself that everyone else is rejecting. I feel that type of tenderness for fat people still.

I think my attitude is rare on both DL and in real life.

[quote] so I have a soft spot for fat people.

They’ve got more of them for you.

It's not just gays, it's the whole society. Nothing is more unattractive than fat. And yet in the right places, it literally makes someone very attractive indeed (the breasts, the buttocks, the right parts of the face). It just doesn't accumulate there though - and gay men better be careful because they reach 30 and they have too many cheeseburgers, and their little pot bellies are going to start expanding. Diet, girls, and anally bleach!

Whenever people call people fat or ugly online, I usually think to myself 'that person is probably fat/ugly themselves'. While it's not the case every time, projection is a thing, and studies have backed this up. Also studies have found that trolls are likely losers in their real lives. The unnecessary nastiness is trying to put others down to feel better about themselves.

You’re fat, r9.

I have a sneaking suspicion that some of our more prolific fat shamers probably require a seatbelt extender or two on planes. When DL targets something or someone, there's a deeper meaning at work.

Well for your information, I do NOT need a seatbelt extender. So there.

The seat belts that come with both seats I’m required to purchase are plenty enough, thank you very much.

It’s one of the last groups people are able to publicly discriminate against.

If it wasn't for DL, I'd have no idea who Chrissy Metz is.

Don't hate fat people, but I do see the prevalence of obesity as a real health issue. The speed in which we've become a seriously overweight country should concern all of us. So I'm not a fan of normalizing it and pretending it's all okay. It's not--the link between obesity and COVID mortality should tell us that.

I’d know she was on that shitty show r14

Here is where I am on it. Fat people know that being overweight is not healthy. In spite of celebrities and the body positivity movement, deep down everyone knows the risks associated with it. Too many people just automatically buy into what celebrities tweet. Obesity is an illness, that's brought on by many things. Personally, I think the biggest culprit is the food industry getting people addicted to sugar, HFCS and other carbs because they're cheap and easy.

Some people eat everything they want and never gain an ounce. Others look at a Big Mac and gain 20#. As someone said above, being fat is probably the last acceptable prejudice. It's a shame that people can't be kind and a little understanding.

I don't think obese people are disgusting, but it's simply challenging, frustrating, or infuriating to have to work or do stuff with them. All they do is eating and eating and shitting and eating some more just like clockwork.

There’s a big difference between fat/overweight and morbidly obese.

Americans are fatter not because all we do is eat and shit, R18, but because our food is terrible. Everything is full of sugar, salt, and added fats -and served in oversized portions. And despite the overweight, most people are suffering from malnutrition. Many poor people have little or no access to fresh fruits and vegetables. They eat cheap fast food because they can afford it and it's available. Just look around. In poorer communities people are much, much fatter than in rich communities. Instead of shaming and blaming people for being fat, we need to clean up the food that we serve, and make sure everyone has access to fresh produce.

Even if obesity was 100% caused by pure laziness and gluttony (which it’s not), fat people are still human beings, and it’s very easy to just…not treat them like ugly art you don’t want to see.

I'm fat and have no problem with the cattiness and snark about it here.

I think most people here are joking harsher about it because it's the internet and "this" site - stretching opinions to the extra bitchy and rude is pretty much the deal at DL. Nobody's forced to come here.

Plus, I really do need to lose weight and being told in the most shitty yet joking ways that nobody'll love me as a fatty is decent incentive.... or an excuse to drink too much. Either's good with me.

R13 How come every group claims that?

R17 I think a lot of fat people are in denial as to how overweight they are and how serious the health risks are. What we call fat these days is actually obese and has the attendant health risks.

Yes, a lot of it is the terrible American diet, but by normalizing obesity, huge portion sizes and high fat foods 24/7 we reinforce the problem.

To be frank I didn't (and mostly don't) care about it, but this whole push for society to HAVE to see the likes of Tess Holliday and Lizzo as "inspirational, beautiful, stunning and brave" has really made me anti-fatty at the moment.

OP = Lens Dunham

Emotional eating I think can get to a lot of us, especially being shut in or cooped up.

I think depression and anxiety bring on the weight.

R22 nobody will love you. You’re welcome!

I have struggled with weight my entire life and have had fat periods and thin periods and periods where I was morbidly obese. I have always been active but I know I have a food addiction, which I think is the hardest to conquer because one cannot cut out food like one can liquor, drugs, gambling, etc. Not that those are any easier to deal with, but they can be eliminated completely from one's life without dying. You cannot simply stop eating.

I have never fooled myself that I was attractive or desirable when I was overweight, or that "fat is beautiful" or "fat is healthy." I knew I was unhealthy even though I was active, and I knew I was putting myself at risk, but it is an addiction. That being said, I've never had much sympathy for addicts, myself included. I grew up in an alcoholic's home and I never understood why- why drink if it's a problem and it's killing you and those around you. (Another thing about food addiction- it doesn't affect the ones you love as much as other addictions, unless you're the size of one of those 600 lb Life people).

So when I see people like Lizzo or Chrissy Metz or any one of these ridiculous fat advocates pretending they are happy with how they look and feel and shoving their fat in our faces, I know how full of shit they are. They're lying to us and they're lying to themselves. No one is happy being fat. No one.

[quote]but this whole push for society to HAVE to see the likes of Tess Holliday and Lizzo as "inspirational, beautiful, stunning and brave"

People who push that agenda are in their own way fat shaming those women. To their credit, these women are using the body positivity model to build brands and make some cash, and more power to them. But Lizzo is just living her life, nothing special or brave about it. I see hundreds of Lizzos on the streets everyday and those women aren't looking for role models.

For me being fat is a death sentence. So, I am jealous of fat people, which was not an option in the poll.

Fat people can eat whatever they want with no limit as to quantity. For me, I have to maintain my college waist size and weight to keep my blood sugar and blood pressure where it belongs. Meds alone won't fix it anymore.

I know several fat people, and I certainly don't think they're disgusting. But I am disappointed in them and I definitely don't believe obesity should be accepted as normal.

[quote]But I am disappointed in them

Oh FFS.

Studies have shown for years that shaming fat people doesn't help and actually makes things worse. People know this and they continue to shame anyway, which is all the proof you need that these are people actively looking for others to put down in order to make themselves feel better.

My only real issue with the way DL deals with fatness is that, like almost every medical issue discussed on here, the threads are full of bigotry, misinformation and lies. DLers are hilariously under-educated and suffer from Dunning-Kruger, usually insisting on believing their own opinions and refusing to even LOOK at studies or links to legitimate sources. DLers go to threads about benefits and scream that there's no such thing as food deserts and insist that fresh produce only costs pennies, then go to threads about fat people and scream that they're ruining society because they eat junk, then go to whatever McDonald's thread is active (because there's always one that's active) and talk about the nuggets and hot apple pies they love so much.

Oh horseshit, R35. I just spent the last 18 living in a food desert of my own making out of Covid paranoia, and I still managed to lose weight. There's a difference between not having access to fresh vegetables and eating twinkies and guzzling Pepsi.

What DL does, R35, is apply white gay standards to fat. Most of the older, gay white guys who post on here apply old school standards to current day looks. Not saying that obesity is in, far from it, but no one wants to be rail thin any more. And these guys all think that is the goal, which it has not been for quite some time.

I actually don't mind a few extra pounds. And yet, I am ashamed of the weight I have put on and hate myself for it. My roommate says fuck it, she even finds bigger men more masculine so who cares what society thinks? But I can't listen to a slender person. I feel the weight and feel that the ONLY reason I was able to get some ass this summer and fall was because I am a good top. Otherwise, no way...

I have friends who are obese and they are always posting pictures of their Starbucks drinks, alcoholic beverages, caloric-dense restaurant food, etc. I feel bad for them more than anything else because I know how depressed they are over their weight.

The truth is that it’s not easy to maintain a good body unless you eat a lot of vegetables and lean protein and drink mostly water or plain coffee/tea. Sugary drinks should never cross your lips (they truly are poisons) and fatty meats/snacks should be reserved for a rare treat. People should exercise every day or almost every day.

My guess is that fat people have a very difficult time following this regimen, but if they did most of them wouldn’t be fat.

I also don’t believe that poor people have a hard time finding healthy food options. Frozen/canned vegetables, dried beans/lentils, oatmeal, water, certain fresh vegetables are cheap and widely accessible, even in the poorest of neighborhoods. Society should probably stop making excuses and justifying poor choices.

R38 I will take a fat belly any day over a skinny toothpick-legged guy. I’m with your roommate on this.

I think people have forgotten the difference between criticism and shaming. To say that morbid obesity can be fatal or is often connected to unresolved emotional trauma does not imply a moral judgment; it does not mean that fat people are unworthy of living day to day life in public, which is too often how such statements are construed.

Overweight people don't deserve to be shamed. They also don't deserve to be celebrated for being unhealthy.

Imagine if you wore a sign around your neck everywhere you went that announced the unhealthiest (physically or mentally) behavior you engaged in, something you’ve tried but failed to stop doing. And every day, someone commented to you about it either to your face or behind your back, or you heard the nightly news talking about how people who did what’s on your sign are bad for the country, etc.

(cont’d sorry!)

Wouldn’t you feel defensive and tired of it? Like, hey, what’s on my sign is not so bad, there are worse things in the world! Or, mind your own problems and let me deal with my sign. Or, fuck you, I like my sign and having this problem is great. Or, can you just ignore my sign for a minute and interact with me like a human being?

There is a huge difference between overweight and truly fat.

At one time, being fat was actually shamed, rather than the mere mention of eating healthfully driving "body positive" twitter outrage into a tizzy of screaming that they're being fat shamed.

Then again, there was a time when public censure curtailed some activities for fear of being shamed and embarrassed. Interestingly enough, it was about the same time that people started screaming about fat shaming that the obesity epidemic spiraled completely out of control.

Somehow I don't think it's a coincidence that the public DEMAND to accept fat people occurred at the same time.

Put the fork down, fatty.

[quote]Put the fork down, fatty.

Is that criticism or shaming?

R4, Lucy made Vivian Vance keep her extra weight so that she (Lucy) would always look beautiful. Talk about fat-shaming but at least Viv got her Emmy Award.

The weird thing for me is when fat people call other people fat, or judge the health of thin people. An obese frau at work had the nerve to criticize my Peloton, because it isn’t a ‘full body workout’. Bitch has never exercised a day in her life. She was also talking shit last week about Kelly Clarkson letting herself go. She is bigger than Kelly Clarkson.

R48 Yeah but we have to listen to skinny cunts pontificate on mayonnaise, like they know.

Skinny or fat - it seems every one is obsessed with their weight.

I was a fat kid growing up in the 70's and 80's. It was unheard of to be fat back then. I was fed the same foods as my older sister and brother who were both skinny. I rode my bike, swam every day in the summer, played outside til dark with the neighborhood kids -kickball, hide n seek, baseball, etc) yet i was still fat. My parents fed me healthy food. Occasionally we would get fast food as a treat.

I was teased and made fun of by other kids and adults as a child. It ruined my self esteem. Kids at school were especially mean. I was picked last for teams in PE. I was shamed for eating my lunch at school.

Over the years i lost the weight but it left me bitter about how people treated me as a kid. I've learned that no matter what size you are, people are going to judge.

Most of the people who post stuff about fat people are probably fat themselves. I'm guessing over 50% of DLers are fatasses.

At least I admit I'm fat.

R8- That's not true. Fat people generally don't repulse me but I'm not attracted to obese men.

People who are SCRAWNY- they look like they've been in a concentration camp- are VERY unattractive and unhealthy.

There's a Mcdonald's commercial on youtube from 1978. People left comments like- people were SO SKINNY back then. They weren't skinny back then- they were NORMAL weight. What we have now is the normalization of obesity so that the normal weight people of 1978 today look SKINNY.

My best friend from college was really skinny, and his wife was a twig. They’re both normal-sized, but their daughter is shockingly fat. When I was a kid, you could count the number of fat kids in the entire school with one hand. I still remember their names because they were easier to single out for teasing.

^ nice.

[quote]Don't hate fat people, but I do see the prevalence of obesity as a real health issue. The speed in which we've become a seriously overweight country should concern all of us. So I'm not a fan of normalizing it and pretending it's all okay. It's not--the link between obesity and COVID mortality should tell us that.

R15 - absolutely right, this is the best take on this. And the "seriously overweight country" problem isnt just the USA, its all through the West now

R45 has a good point too - "it was about the same time that people started screaming about fat shaming that the obesity epidemic spiraled completely out of control". I've noticed that, it makes more sense than just HCFS or "food deserts" which although they may contribute something are not adding all the pounds.

Fruit and veges arent expensive if they arent out of season. Even so, you also have the option of frozen or canned which is way better than deep fried shit. Even you cant get good food, just eat less of it.... which saves money. You dont have to go to a gym, just walk or cycle instead of driving or taking public transport. That actually saves money too

[quote]Don't hate fat people, but I do see the prevalence of obesity as a real health issue. The speed in which we've become a seriously overweight country should concern all of us. So I'm not a fan of normalizing it and pretending it's all okay. It's not--the link between obesity and COVID mortality should tell us that.

R15 - absolutely right, this is the best take on this. And the "seriously overweight country" problem isnt just the USA, its all through the West now

R45 has a good point too - "it was about the same time that people started screaming about fat shaming that the obesity epidemic spiraled completely out of control". I've noticed that, it makes more sense than just HCFS or "food deserts" which although they may contribute something are not adding all the pounds.

Fruit and veges arent expensive if they arent out of season. Even so, you also have the option of frozen or canned which is way better than deep fried shit. Even you cant get good food, just eat less of it.... which saves money. You dont have to go to a gym, just walk or cycle instead of driving or taking public transport. That actually saves money too

If you look at the Good Housekeeping recipes from 30 years ago, the actual ingredient quantities are the same, but the servings have been reduced from 4-6 to 2-4.

Society's "acceptance" of being fat has made it perfectly acceptable to be fat.

I am fat fat. 5'9", size 18-20. I am not bothered except when normal size people or hollywood 'normal' are called fat. That's absurd and makes me take the opinions less seriously. I am also pretty confident that I am better looking than most of the people I run into.

My fatness doesn't affect anyone except for me and I know why I am fat. I eat too much and don't exercise. I am not going to have some epiphany because some random online calls people fat.

I have said this before, most fat people are just wearing their trauma. I eat because I was hungry as a child. Hungry like most people, fortunately, can't imagine. Eating paper just to not feel sick hungry. I fucking love food. I, as an adult, am daily astonished that I have food in the house to eat. Any food I want.

People online calling me fat will never feel worse than being hungry felt.

[quote] The weird thing for me is when fat people call other people fat, or judge the health of thin people.

Boy, have i seen this a LOT!! People who looked like they swallowed a bowling ball want To tell me about MY eating habits?

And yes, they just love to judge those they perceive as being even FATTER! Its very strange.

[quote] I have said this before, most fat people are just wearing their trauma. I eat because I was hungry as a child. Hungry like most people, fortunately, can't imagine. Eating paper just to not feel sick hungry. I fucking love food. I, as an adult, am daily astonished that I have food in the house to eat. Any food I want.

A sobering reminder that you don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives, which is why i TRY to refrain from judgement (regardless of what i write here.!)

I wonder if there's such a thing as SMALL PENIS shaming

I was looking through childhood photos last summer while visiting my mother, and was shocked when I saw a photo of my friends from elementary school in the early 80’s. The boy that we all teased for years for being fat was not fat at all. He had a baby face with chubby cheeks, but his body wasn’t chubby. He would never be considered fat these days.

I used to be a chubby person and I’m not bothered by the fat jokes on here. I think they’re funny and harmless. However, that might just be a privilege as a now thin person.

I struggle to maintain a healthy weight. If I'm overeating I'm unhappy about something. I prefer to be fit and comfortable in clothes, it gives me confidence.

I know many truly wonderful fat people but when I see the morbidly obese or the far too fat I think they are struggling with challenges around self-esteem, mental health issues, or other sad things that affect how they see themselves. To eat extreme amounts of food indicates problems, IMO. I can't watch those 600 pound life types of show, the morbidly obese are particularly damaged people. Akin to hoarders, problematic and hard to cure. It's sad and frustrating to watch.

I have compassion for them and would never shame them. I imagine they are pretty hard on themselves already.

You're all fucking FAT ASSES!!!! Even that rich white woman Kate Moss!!!!

Americans are fatter because they eat and drive more than other people in first world countries.

I’ve noticed that most fat celebs who lose weight admit after they lost the weight that they were miserable being fat despite calming otherwise in public.

I’ve noticed some celebs get shamed for losing weight on social media and people claim to feel betrayed but in reality I think it’s jealousy.

A friend of mine lost a lot of weight doing weight watchers and has kept it off, one of the things she told me was that she had to change and adjust the way she moved because she was a thin woman who was walking like she was morbidly obese. She hasn’t quite let go of the feeling of being a fat person.

OP seems to be confused about providing clarity about her fat poll.

If you fat don't you calm in public, according to R67.

R61 here, loving my healthy, happy life.

But you probably guessed that.

R59 but you're not good looking any more. You THINK you are because you were at one time if not a long time and assume the fat doesn't change that much of your appearance, but you are wrong. Being fat almost complete obliterates any good looks you or anyone else may have but humans are used to looking at themselves in the mirror everyday and only see the incremental changes not the big picture. And you don't need to be obese to ruin your looks, it can be as simple as 15 or 20 pounds. I see it AAALLL the time in middle aged women who have put on weight.

I have an aunt who thinks like that. Used to be a thin hottie, could get any guy she wanted, now obese and old, still has the same personality but society just doesn't respond in the same way. People actually pity her...not my mom though.

R71, that goes for people who are attractive in general, and lose their looks later in life. I love bumping into old classmates that peaked in high school and now look like shit. So much of attractiveness over 30 is based upon how much time and effort you are willing to put into your appearance. Some people think they don’t have to try, and it shows.

Fat, fat, the water rat!

Fatty Fatty Two By Four

[quote]Even you cant get good food, just eat less of it....

Does any part of you think it's this easy? Or that fatties don't know this? Saying this is, I suspect, about as useful as telling a heroin addict to just stop injecting so much heroin.

R53, out of 17 comments on the video, I can see 15, and none of them mention how skinny anyone was.

I been fat-fat and I've been thin and I can tell you this: what you look like matters. It matters so much that I don't really think the "fat acceptance" movement or anything like it has any real impact on anything. Fat people know they're fat and unattractive, they know most people (including most fat people) would do almost anything to avoid looking like Chrissy Metz. People say what they say and it's currently frowned upon to even whisper that humans might not all be equally attractive but every single one of those Gen Z kids freaking out at a rude comment about Lizzo would chuck their own mothers off a tall building before they were OK with actually looking like that.

What's attractive and what isn't is pretty universal and lizard-brain level stuff. No amount of treacly, disingenuous "you're so beautiful!" aimed at plus sized celebs changes any of that and deep down everyone knows it.

When i was fat it sometimes felt like people (especially men, who can be surprisingly filled with rage about fat women) hated me. People were brazenly, openly contemptuous. I was often treated like I was retarded. It's almost the exact opposite experience when you're thin.

I won't say I'm not bitter but if anything it was just eye opening. I mean, I'm no different. I see a fat (or ugly or otherwise very unattractive) person and have that same internal 'ugh!' reaction, too. It was interesting being the person inspiring those reactions because on the inside, I felt no different. I felt no less human. And yet I was. It really made me a more empathetic person. The trick is being mindful of that 'ugh!' and reminding yourself that it doesn't actually mean the person inspiring it isn't still a person.

Super fat people are almost always fucked up, too, I agree about that. I was fat because food happens to be the thing that made me feel (temporarily) better, less anxious, less self-hating etc. I was badly abused by my mother for my entire childhood, ending up in the hospital a few times but mostly it was emotional. Just constantly being told I was worthless and everyone in my family hated me and everything that was wrong was my fault. I mean, yeah, duh, that fucks a person up.

I guess it just sank in one day that no one was going to do anything for me so I either did it for myself or I accepted a life of being sad all the time. But it took a while and it was really, really, really fucking hard. Like indescribably difficult. I almost feel like I've been through a war.

I've never told anyone this.

I’m sorry, r77. You sound like a lovely person.

I've been fat fat too.... in fact I'm pretty fat right now, largely because of the pandemic. It is a life long battle, usually with a body that for whatever reason does not want to help your heart or your mind get and stay at a better weight. R77 is right, no one can fight the battle but yourself. Someone posted, probably upthread, but somewhere here, that often our weight will tell you how we're feeling inside. I hadn't thought about it before, but it's true. If someone goes up and down, when they're up, they're down. I am one of those people who feels shredded by the visceral scorn DL shows to people who are. It really is, to use one of our favourites, wounding. I never thought there was anything could make me feel worse about myself than me, but it turns out, it's DL. So thanks. Makes a hard job harder. I do not want your sympathy, but since your scorn achieves nothing, your silence would be awesome. And if you can't hold it, that says more than you might think.

I was born in 1950 and no one was fat back then. It was very rare. It is shocking how fat we have become. I recently watched a program, I believe it was on HBO Max called the weight of the nation. The obesity epidemic is complex. Very eye-opening. A big part of the problem is the food industry. I think part of the problem is also that we cooked at home back then and everyone smoked. We stopped smoking and got fat. That is not all of it but a big part of it. Obesity is costing us a fortune in medical care and most obese people will not live very long. I was one of those people who could eat anything and not gain weight and was rail-thin like people in the commercial above but have gained in old age due to lack of exercise. I don't really care at this point in my life. I am now an old lady pushing a walker and have been really surprised at how nice people are to me now that I am old. Everyone always wants to help me. I am really liking old age.

[quote] I was born in 1950 and no one was fat back then.

No, no, he’s right.

R80- I've seen photographs of NYC Cops from the 1950's and almost ALL of them were DUMPY/TUBBY.

I've been there and escaped, so I might be biased. I don't think fat people should be shamed. There are many reasons a person ends up fat. Some, for medical reasons, seem not to have any other option. Many, like myself, come to realize that the situation is not what we want with our lives, and so we do something about it. Others come to realize that the situation is not what they want and just think doing something about it isn't worth the effort. That's fine, until they decide that their being considered fat is somehow a character flaw of those who consider them fat. If they're fat and want to own it, they should own it and not confer ownership on anyone else. If you're fat, it's all on you.

Thank you, R78.

I have no idea what r83 just said.

It’s the “body positivity at any size” movement that irks me.

Being obese evidently is a shame in itself, no one has to shame fat hoes any further.

Telling an obese person to lose weight is like telling a person of colour to bleach their skin.

It is NOT okay to erase someone's identity like this.

This isn’t charity, It's terrorism.

It's wrong to fat shame. The one exception is this fatty on "Sweet Magnolias" , who is morbidly obese with diabetes and yet is never seen without a margarita and a bag of Doritos in her stubby hands.

The show's target audience makes a large target. And probably shops at a Target, also.

Fat fat water rat 50 bullets in your hat!

I would put on weight quickly if I ate what other people eat. I could get addicted to sugar and bread very fast if I started eating it. But I am so miserable when I am not slim that I control my eating very strictly. I'm used to it now and love being slim. I live in Italy where being heavy is not the norm.

Controversial opinions follow..

I don't think people should be tormented and shamed for their addictions, but I think the body positivity movement is about on a par with the belief that gender is not fixed - utter denial and delusion.

I get very angry when I see a fat baby or child because I know what is in store for them. Parents are prosecuted for starving their children; they should also be prosecuted for feeding them to excess.

The fact is that their are only a few healthy foods that can lead lead to excess weight - nuts, oils, dried fruit, and avocados. The rest of weight-promoting food is unhealthy anyway, including all grains.

R80 - It broke my heart when my mother told me she continued to smoke well after it was causing massive health problems because she said that if she stopped, she would gain weight.

To be fair, before she was diagnosed with the lung cancer which ended her life, she had lost 18 pounds. Smoking had indeed kept her slim.

It is so unhealthy. Shaming is not the way to bring about change however.

Although I do joke about the fats on DL.