Hooking up with guys you meet at NA/AA

It is extremely predatory and disgusting.

Yikes...

He is not only hooking up, he is using with them.

AA/NA is a cult.

A lot of predators in AA/ NA

I am a female who went to MA (weed) and it’s mostly men so I had a temporary male sponsor, at first we hung out he said we couldn’t hook up for a yr…he the proceeds to invite me on a weekend MA camping trip, share a tent and the next morning says “ wow, that yr went by fast.”

My ex-roommate used to get all her hook-ups at Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings. She'd walk in with some guy and say, "I'd like to introduce you but he has to stay anonymous."

^we had barely known each other a couple weeks.

It’s known as the 13th step BTW

I prefer Sexual compulsives anonymous. I can get blown right after the meeting, no strings.

Some of the guys get very attached which may have to do with their newfound sobriety.

I once gave a new guy a ride home from NA and he told me that he had just gotten out of prison the day before. Yikes! During another meeting a man spoke up and said that he had killed a man. To someone somewhat vanilla like me these meetings were not for the faint of heart. And I never saw so many tatoos at a place in my life!!

R12, if you're so vanilla what were you doing at a Narcotics Annonymous meeting?

R13 Because I had an addiction. There were not many gays there but I found help and a few nice people there.

Predatory behavior occurs in these programs because there is such a high amount of addicts who are sociopaths or have personality disorders. They don't like following rules. It's also not the end of the world if people in program bang each other because they want to. They're adults, adults generally need to fuck and unless they're dealing with sexual addiction, its not such a bad thing for two sober people to have sex.

The informality of these programs prevents much from being done about it. But laws are laws. If someone gets you drunk or gives you drugs, you pass out and they have sex with you, that's rape under any circumstance. Doesnt matter where you met.

And I think people can be banned from meetings for being predators (offering themself as a sponsor, then offering their sponsee alcohol/drugs and then trying to push for sex).

The 12 steps have such rigidity

Apparently hookups are common w/the sex addiction groups. I went to see what it was like and they lectured on not watching free porn as the performer might stay in the industry because of you!

I was going to start a thread on NA. It was going to go like this:

We hear a lot about AA, but what is NA like? Is it still around? Why doesn’t it get the same glory as AA. It’s been around just as long? Same founders? What’s the difference.

Etc. but then OP started this thread, so maybe they should be combined? I don’t want to be accused of being a dreadful thread thief.

r18 use that magnificent machine in front of you and GOOGLE IT. Read about it. Then, if you have questions, ask them (I'd suggest a different board but first things first)

This is not uncommon, but your friend is lacking in character.

[quote] If someone gets you drunk or gives you drugs, you pass out and they have sex with you, that's rape under any circumstance

Well, it’s not rape rape.

If I Google NA, then my computer will think I have a drug problem and will try to send me to rehab.

NA is gritty and not much change happens . Lots of swearing

I was dating a coworker and we were both ex drinkers but on a weekend getaway he couldn’t find AA but found NA. The attendees were taking turns reading from their NA text book and when it turned out to be an account of child forced porn production, my date said splits go now! So gritty indeed

^ let’s not splits

R24 Yikes!

R22 IF YOU'RE using google chrome, try incognito mode. Click on FILE and then NEW INCOGNITO WINDOW.

Well there are no worries about this any more, since all meetings are probably now on ZOOM.

In NYC, the gay meth-related NA groups often led to hookups…on meth

I know two former addicts that go to AA instead of NA because of the crowd at NA meetings. They’ve stayed clean and they’re honest at their AA meetings about their drug addictions rather than alcoholism.

I’ve never been to either, so I have no opinion either way.

As R30 points out, AA is often preferred by drug addicts. NA meetings are far more rare outside of big cities and the people they attract are more depressing and extreme (which means during sharing, you're more likely to hear insanely horrifying stories).

AA is filled with people at all different stages of life troubles who realize they have a problem with alcohol and can use a program to support getting sober. It's young people who realize they've been drinking every night, older people who realize they can't enjoy life without alcohol and its affecting their marriages or work.

Meth and heroin addicts don't get help until they've hit levels of rock bottom most of us could barely comprehend.