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I've never been to a gay bar.

Am I missing out?

by Anonymousreply 47October 16, 2021 2:38 AM

Yes and no.

My friends used to tell me to go b/c 'you never know'

Well, I went, probably back when I was in my early 30s and had bad acne; do I need to continue? Worse yet, I went alone. With expectations.

All mistakes. Go with some TRUSTED friends. Don't have any expectations and don't screw around.

Unless he's REALLY hot.

by Anonymousreply 1October 15, 2021 12:20 AM

Not anymore.

Gay bars....one thing millennials DID actually ruin.

by Anonymousreply 2October 15, 2021 12:23 AM

Are you over 24? If you are, don't bother going because you'll be invisible.

by Anonymousreply 3October 15, 2021 5:26 AM

I went to a gay bar once that was supposedly a rock bar and all they played was madonna and Katy Perry or whatever's her name, so I left to never come back.

by Anonymousreply 4October 15, 2021 5:37 AM

There's an amazing one in Bogotá, otherwise I feel like I missed out on their best years.

by Anonymousreply 5October 15, 2021 5:45 AM

I haven't been to a gay bar since 2010, I think. If I went now I imagine I'd see a dark room full of men staring at their phones.

by Anonymousreply 6October 15, 2021 5:46 AM


by Anonymousreply 7October 15, 2021 5:49 AM

Stud Bar in Frisco! I can say no more. Cher. Midler. Madonna. Gaga. What a gem! Now gone.

by Anonymousreply 8October 15, 2021 5:49 AM

the concept of a "gay" bar is homophobic!!! Why can't it just be a bar, without the sexual preference?

by Anonymousreply 9October 15, 2021 12:59 PM

This bit good reviews and buzz when it came out earlier this year, since your not bar hopping anyways you can read up and find out.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 10October 15, 2021 1:20 PM

I stopped going to bars in the mid 90s. Had tons of fun back in the day. I have no idea what gay bars are like these days, but judging from the general lack of face to face social skills I see in so many who are the same age I was when I was doing the bars, I'd say it's a whole different ball of wax now. I can't imagine it's nearly as much fun as it was in my day. What do people do, sit at different tables and text other people across the bar?

by Anonymousreply 11October 15, 2021 1:40 PM

Cruising in a gay bar was fun.

by Anonymousreply 12October 15, 2021 1:54 PM

Dive bars aren't what they used to be. Gay piano bars on the other hand....

by Anonymousreply 13October 15, 2021 1:56 PM

Do gay bars even exist anymore?

Apps wacked so many, and COVID killed the rest

by Anonymousreply 14October 15, 2021 1:58 PM

[quote]Are you over 24? If you are, don't bother going because you'll be invisible.

I finally figured out that I was gay at the tender age of 50 and went to a gay bar in Studio City (LA area).

When I discovered I was invisible at that bar, I left and never returned to any gay bar again.

by Anonymousreply 15October 15, 2021 2:09 PM

Op here, I'm 50, so it sounds like it would be pointless to go now.

by Anonymousreply 16October 15, 2021 2:40 PM

Are you gay?

by Anonymousreply 17October 15, 2021 2:59 PM

It depends on how you are looking at it. If your goal is to go find something to hook with, yeah it's gonna be hard if you are older (unless you become a gym fanatic, I've seen muscle daddies do well) .

But you can always just find a drag show and go have a good time, the goal doesn't have to be about sex.

by Anonymousreply 18October 15, 2021 3:03 PM

Yes, R17, I'm a gay man. I was just curious to check it out R18, I live in a rural area with one gay bar about 55 miles from here.

by Anonymousreply 19October 15, 2021 3:10 PM

Not all gay bars are the same.

by Anonymousreply 20October 15, 2021 6:58 PM

It depends on where you are.

In the U.S., you're not missing anything. In some cities elsewhere in the world they can be by turns very pleasant, interesting, entertaining.

by Anonymousreply 21October 15, 2021 8:48 PM

R12- GETTING cruised was fun. Getting a clear cruise from a HOT guy was very ego boosting back in 1996 for me.

by Anonymousreply 22October 15, 2021 8:51 PM

Just be careful, OP. Gay men in gay bars are always want to fuck you in the parking lot.

by Anonymousreply 23October 15, 2021 8:55 PM

They're just bars with gay men. They can be surprising asexual, especially with the after work crowd--people just talked and let of steam. Weekends were different because cruising was the main thing.

It's just nice to be in a space that you don't have to explain to anyone about being gay.

by Anonymousreply 24October 15, 2021 9:18 PM

Very true r20.

Gay bars vary as much as non-gay bars.

Some are just little hole in the walls of people drinking, some are nice dance spots, a rare few are places that guys go to cruise and hook up. Some you will find go go boys and drag queens, some you wouldn't even tell you were at a gat bar.

by Anonymousreply 25October 15, 2021 9:55 PM

[quote] It's just nice to be in a space that you don't have to explain to anyone about being gay.

Like The Pines?

by Anonymousreply 26October 15, 2021 10:02 PM

Gay bars in small towns or rural areas won't be the same diva parade you'd see in NYC, L.A. or Miami. I would suggest going in the late afternoon before it gets too cruisy. You'll likely find barflies and older men such as us. Go with the intention of just meeting people and talking more than to get fucked. With the right mindset, you can have fun.

by Anonymousreply 27October 15, 2021 10:03 PM

Well, it's not like anyone missed you, OP.

by Anonymousreply 28October 15, 2021 10:03 PM

I do always find it odd on here when people complain about gay bars in a way that they expect confetti to rain down on them when they walk in. It is what you make of it to a large degree.

by Anonymousreply 29October 15, 2021 10:03 PM

You should ask Daniel Craig to take you!

by Anonymousreply 30October 15, 2021 10:13 PM

I'm not OP, R30, but Daniel Craig's the reason I'm thinking about resuming my bar-hopping past.

by Anonymousreply 31October 15, 2021 10:19 PM

The smell of chemical disinfectant used to hose down the place and resist a permacum. Memories.

by Anonymousreply 32October 15, 2021 10:25 PM

There are many, many gay bars catering to 30 - 50+ plus clientele. Maybe not nightclubs, but bars, yeah.

by Anonymousreply 33October 15, 2021 10:48 PM

I've been to Paradise. But I've never been to me.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 34October 15, 2021 10:53 PM

OP needs someone to push his stool in.

by Anonymousreply 35October 15, 2021 10:59 PM

[quote] There are many, many gay bars catering to 30 - 50+ plus clientele. Maybe not nightclubs, but bars, yeah.

I know, right? That's where most of the real money for drinks/tips/etc. comes from...

by Anonymousreply 36October 15, 2021 11:04 PM

I last went to a gay in 2002 I think, when I still lived in West Hollywood. But prior to that, I went to them everywhere I could. There were five basic categories.

I. Dance clubs with young guys and, occasionally, a bachelorette party. Go-go boys on the weekends. Dead during the week, unless they had a weeknight 18 and over night. Nobody went to cruise, only to see and be seen. People go in groups and stick to their groups.

II. Bars without dance floors, with an older crown (late 20's-30's), many "regulars" and a DJ playing music and, usually, a lot of video monitors. Okay to go solo. After a few visits, the regulars start talking to you.

III. Rural bars that catered to all LGBT clients, but within the bar, usually fairly segregated. All ages went because it was the only option around. Everything from (bad) drag shows, karaoke nights, fundraising events, a small dance area, and a sound system controlled by the owner/bartender.

IV. Mega/Hyper clubs in very large cities, with several distinct zones usually on different floors. Each zone had a different theme and clientele. Either super expensive or super cheap drinks. They offered "something for everybody" but I always found them overwhelming.

V. Fetish bars/clubs. Leather/uniform bars, bear bars, bars with "back rooms" for anonymous sex, gay country music clubs While some these venues advertise themselves as having "strict dress codes," they never turn away a twink dressed in the fashion du jour. Lots of cruising and, at some, hooking up. These could be a lot of fun if you go without any judgment or attitude, especially with a small group, and checked your expectations at the door.

I have no idea what bars and clubs are like now. Few survived the 2010's, and those that did, did not survive COVID. OP, if the place you're talking about is category III, you might like it. "Fresh meat" is always welcome at rural bars.

by Anonymousreply 37October 15, 2021 11:13 PM

OP, I think it depends where you live and the type of gay bar. In some major cities (Chicago, as example) there are bars which cater to an older crowd. I was suddenly single at 50 and went back to the bars for the first time in years. I was surprised to discover I had entered the "silver daddy" phase and I got hit on. Not once but 5 or 6 times. (Yes, I went back after the first visit.) There are indeed younger guys interested in meeting older men. Six years later I'm still seeing one of the guys I met then.

by Anonymousreply 38October 15, 2021 11:15 PM

I don’t like hanging out with other gays

by Anonymousreply 39October 15, 2021 11:16 PM

R39 They are probably happy you’re not there too.

by Anonymousreply 40October 15, 2021 11:34 PM

Oh the days of getting fucked in the back room of a bar are over

by Anonymousreply 41October 16, 2021 1:20 AM

Mostly yes r41. In general gay bars aren't cruisy these days, really people just talk to the friends they came with and there are no backrooms.

There are some gay bars that are still cruisy, like in NY there is The Cock and The Eagle which have that old school go hook up at the bar culture.

by Anonymousreply 42October 16, 2021 1:25 AM

[quote] in NY there is The Cock and The Eagle which have that old school go hook up at the bar culture.

Old school... just like the clientele.

by Anonymousreply 43October 16, 2021 1:49 AM

I used to go to The Works on the Upper West Side. It was a Yuppie , Guppie, Preppie crowd of good looking guys.

by Anonymousreply 44October 16, 2021 1:54 AM

In the recent release Swan )which I highly recommend) one character says to the other, nowadays we can hold hands at Applebee’s, why do we need a gay bar?

by Anonymousreply 45October 16, 2021 2:05 AM

Because the alternative is Applebee’s.

by Anonymousreply 46October 16, 2021 2:24 AM

The adulation I would receive was exhilarating in the moment.

by Anonymousreply 47October 16, 2021 2:38 AM
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