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How do nouveau riche people learn how to be rich?

I'm talking about the Gates', the Zuckerbergs, and the Bezos' of the world.

They all come from modest backgrounds, and later became billionaires.

So how do they learn "how" to become a billionaire?

With the security, and the multi-million dollar homes and estates, and the yachts, and servants, etc.

Certainly, there's a learning curve. But who teaches them?

by Anonymousreply 103October 13, 2021 6:29 PM

Gates is not from a modest background.

by Anonymousreply 1October 12, 2021 2:10 PM

Zuckerberg went to elite schools and saw how the rich live.

by Anonymousreply 2October 12, 2021 2:12 PM

First, they learn that you don't make the plural of a surname using an apostrophe. They move on from there.

by Anonymousreply 3October 12, 2021 2:15 PM

R1 He certainly wasn’t from a one percent background.

by Anonymousreply 4October 12, 2021 2:16 PM

You guys aren't getting it at R1 and R2.

Learning how to navigate multi-million dollar purchases such as homes and yachts, staffing them, keeping them stocked, protecting yourself with security, etc. doesn't just come naturally. Even if you are relatively wealthy.

Billionaires are in a different strata of rich. They have concerns that less rich people don't have.

I guess you're not understanding the question, because, well... you wouldn't understand.

by Anonymousreply 5October 12, 2021 2:17 PM

This actually isn’t a horrible question.. I thought based on the title the OP meant something very DL like such as “how do they know how to fold napkins” ect.

But it is a fair question. I guess part of it is learning as they climb up. They didn’t become billionaires overnight. They became more and more rich. And probably learned as they grew.

Plus I am sure people came into their orbit showed them how. It is like that scene in Squid Game when the bank contacts 456 after his windfall. I imagine yatch sales people, offshore bankers, art dealers, all come out and show them the ropes to get them as clients.

by Anonymousreply 6October 12, 2021 2:20 PM

I worked with a very wealthy family. The youngest son and i were fairly friendly at work. One day I overheard his mother say "You should not become too friendly with the help." I was the help.

by Anonymousreply 7October 12, 2021 2:33 PM

That cunt sounds like a wannabe, R7.

I think that very, very rich people don't behave like that.

It's mostly the climbers and the trash, who act that way.

by Anonymousreply 8October 12, 2021 2:38 PM

"Learning how to navigate multi-million dollar purchases such as homes and yachts, staffing them, keeping them stocked, protecting yourself with security, etc. doesn't just come naturally. Even if you are relatively wealthy."

They hire out. Super-wealthy people always have one or two trusted people who do all sorts of things like scout high-end real estate for them - act as their surrogate in those deals. Hire domestic staff and nannies. Bring in interior decorators/art dealers to create their homes. Find chefs or personal cooks.

Rich people find this staff via recommendation from other wealthy people. It's a niche market but a very real one.

by Anonymousreply 9October 12, 2021 2:41 PM

And don't forget, those billions aren't sitting around burning a hole in some asshole's pocket. Ideally, this asshole is rich because those millions and billions are invested in money making ventures, stock, and property and aren't meant to be spent on a lifestyle.

by Anonymousreply 10October 12, 2021 2:56 PM

Steve Jobs is a better example.

by Anonymousreply 11October 12, 2021 3:00 PM

I doesn’t hurt to have a Warren Buffet sitting over bridge with you, telling you that buying farmland is a good idea, and then running it by your attorney father.

by Anonymousreply 12October 12, 2021 3:12 PM

R5, wow, triggered much? I went to similar schools as Zuckerberg, and have a couple friends who are billionaires' children. You just grow up with them, and then ask them about that stuff over time. And when you get rich, I'd think you'd just call them and ask them how they do this or that.

by Anonymousreply 13October 12, 2021 3:17 PM

R9 is right on this.

There are little clusters of professionals in big cities that only take on high end clients and refer clients to each other--wealth managers, family/estate attorneys, private bankers, real estate agents. There are also private "concierge" services that do this as well. The new rich person's personal assistant will interact with these people and make appointments for them. Using a yacht person that your attorney has vouched for (or whoever) means that the attorney knows she's in hot water if she recommended some grifter. That network of interdependency, and interdependent responsibility if anything goes wrong, is what rich people (or any people) look for.

Business billionaires are not stupid. They know that their new problems--not having enough time to shop for real estate (or whatever)--is someone's job. Also, the people who have these jobs cultivate those kinds of clients. Anyone slightly wealthy, let alone in the billionaire class, receives mail outs and calls for those services by the boatload.

The new rich people with serious problems are lottery winners who have no staff around them, no other rich people they work with, etc.

by Anonymousreply 14October 12, 2021 3:27 PM

The people in OP came from upper-middle class backgrounds at the very least, and had the advantages of elite education (with the accompanying networking opportunities) and in some cases heavy loans from parents to get them started. They then just took it from there, learning from the already rich people they met. To some extent they invented new ways of "being a billionaire" for for 21st century, as every generation does.

by Anonymousreply 15October 12, 2021 3:44 PM

I don't think a single billionaire got to where they are without meeting advisers or already successful people along the way. And I think that because it's such an exclusive club, they do in fact reach out to one another.

by Anonymousreply 16October 12, 2021 3:45 PM

Yeah none of the people you mentioned ads from modest backgrounds, OP. Bezos was an investment banker and from a well-off family. Zuckerberg was from a wealthy family and went to Harvard. Bill Gates' parents were a prominent lawyer and his mother was a board member of a major bank and a major charity.

Elon Musk's family was wealthy from their apartheid-era emerald mine in South Africa.

All of these people would have known and hobnobbed with other wealthy families and the major source for a lot of their information comes from the people that manage vast wealth - the wealth managers. They are the ones who will pass on recommendations for security, the right schools, etc., as the wealth managers are usually the children of the wealthy themselves.

by Anonymousreply 17October 12, 2021 3:52 PM

Oprah would have been a better example. I guess she got advice from somewhere?

by Anonymousreply 18October 12, 2021 3:57 PM

Her bankers would have helped her. They do a lot more than just banking at that level.

by Anonymousreply 19October 12, 2021 3:59 PM

It’s a really boring answer, but they slowly make connections over a period of years as they work their way up the ladder. Investors in their companies help with financial advisors and personal counsel, as they get more money and network even more they continue trading up and up. The recent book about Facebook talked about how Sheryl Sandberg made a number of her most important connections in a class at Harvard and then as a low-level staffer in her first job, out of which she got a number of mentors.

People like Buffett have a huge advantage of being able to understand finance himself and not needing to place so much trust in other people, because some advisors turn out to be users and losers.

Compare this to families who come from nothing and hit the Powerball overnight

by Anonymousreply 20October 12, 2021 3:59 PM

R18 Oprah is a great example. When she began hitting it really big, she went out with Roger Ebert (whom she probably met through Chicago local tv connections) and he explained to her how she could syndicate her show. That led to her billions.

by Anonymousreply 21October 12, 2021 4:00 PM

I can’t begin to tell you how utterly shameless it is that you sat around, fixated on this delusional concept about money and class for hours, before deciding to post it as a thread, then actually typing it out and posting it. You should rearrange your priorities in life.

by Anonymousreply 22October 12, 2021 4:29 PM

You're a loser R22.

A sad, judgmental, pathetic loser.

Die in a grease fire.

by Anonymousreply 23October 12, 2021 6:25 PM

Again: how did Zuckerberg become a billionaire with a site where grandmas post baby pics? It doesn't make sense.

by Anonymousreply 24October 12, 2021 6:29 PM

They hang out with old money.

by Anonymousreply 25October 12, 2021 6:31 PM

You know funnily enough R23 I don’t think I’m the loser on this thread lol. Enjoy obsessing over wealth for the rest of your life x.

by Anonymousreply 26October 12, 2021 6:34 PM

R24, selling data to advertisers.

by Anonymousreply 27October 12, 2021 6:35 PM

As R6 wisely noted, this is not your typical DLCAS question. It's about the day to day questions of security and privacy and managing a household away from the public eye.

It's a legit query and R9 is correct--there are people who help coordinate these sorts of things and the people who manage the Zuckerberg/Bezos/Gates fortunes are able to put them in touch with them.

It also helps that all three (well, pre-divorce Bezos anyway) are pretty low key and there is no giant Zuckerberg yacht or if there is, they keep it pretty quiet and don't invite People magazine on board for a photo shoot.

Ditto there seems to be zero desire to join any of the clubs or other institutions that might not want them as a member. Though I suspect all three have parents who belonged to some sort of country club if they really wanted to play golf.

I know people who know the Zuckerbergs and the rap is they are just very private people, not very interested in socializing with anyone other than old friends and keeping themselves and their kids out of the press.

by Anonymousreply 28October 12, 2021 6:36 PM

The thing is there are all kinds of rich people with differing levels of savviness about life and the world.

I have an immediate relative who is pretty wealthy (a deca-millionaire) who always has seriously wealthy (above $100 million) guys calling him for advice--even for life advice that has nothing to do with my family member's job. (Many of these guys inherited great wealth--trust fund babies, but old.) But they--meaning, their estates--are also clients.

Like what I said about about interdependency: unless you're a lottery winner or a suddenly famous actor (which is a lot like being a lottery winner), you have many different intersecting circles: the people you do business with, the people you work with, the people who live in your neighborhood (likely, you live in a wealthy neighborhood), the non-profits and politicians that contact you for donations (and the interdependency that they owe you in return), your family members and their school/social ties, etc.

by Anonymousreply 29October 12, 2021 6:54 PM

People also assume you are wise and have valuable secrets, like r29 said, just because you have a great deal of money. And you probably do, in certain areas that are totally not useful to the average, or even somewhat well-off person. These guys work at a scale that most of us can't even fathom.

by Anonymousreply 30October 12, 2021 7:00 PM

Zuckerberg Yacht.

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by Anonymousreply 31October 12, 2021 7:44 PM

Zuckerberg homes.

10 mansions. $66 BILLION dollars.

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by Anonymousreply 32October 12, 2021 7:46 PM

Please refer to the book “How to be a Billionaire for Dummies.”

by Anonymousreply 33October 12, 2021 8:16 PM

Zuckerberg has more than $66 Billion dollars though, I think he's worth something around $120B. Of course it depends on the whims of the stock market.

by Anonymousreply 34October 12, 2021 8:28 PM

Off topic, but I wonder what would happen if Zuck sold Facebook.

by Anonymousreply 35October 12, 2021 8:58 PM

There are people who advise them. I’m sure their financial advisers, lawyers and accountants know whom to call.

by Anonymousreply 36October 12, 2021 9:00 PM

In short- they don't. I'm sure back in the day the nouveau riche joined country clubs when they could (gasp!), went to fancy sporting events like horse races and polo, went to fundraisers and became philanthropists to rub elbows with old money -- much to the old money's chagrin.

Now with these tech billionaries, it seems they simply do not care about old money vs. new money. They are above the rules of society for the most part. Want a huge tunnel under your building? The city does it. Not happy with your state? Move to to Texas. Bored? Rocket yourself into space. Or mess with elections to see what kind of chaos will ensue. Give and take posting privileges to unhinged leaders and celebrities because you want, when you want.

by Anonymousreply 37October 12, 2021 9:02 PM

[quote] Off topic, but I wonder what would happen if Zuck sold Facebook.

The world would be a much better place.

by Anonymousreply 38October 12, 2021 9:10 PM

Private Swiss banks employ people to educate newly super-rich people, or their children.

by Anonymousreply 39October 12, 2021 9:21 PM

What do they teach them? I'd like to at least skim the textbook.

by Anonymousreply 40October 12, 2021 9:29 PM

My parents belonged to a fairly modest suburban swim and tennis club, There were members who joined years before they made any real money, but became very successful in business. CEO of major international Corp etc. They came from modest backgrounds and did.know how to be rich and didn’t even try. Still lived in a 3 bedroom split level that was their first home and drove Oldsmobiles. And stayed members of the same modest private club, because that is where their friends were. That is true class.

by Anonymousreply 41October 12, 2021 9:33 PM

They take the Billionaires 101 course at International Correspondence Schools, Rose

by Anonymousreply 42October 12, 2021 9:34 PM

Should read: didn’t know how to be rich

by Anonymousreply 43October 12, 2021 9:34 PM

Nice story, R41.

If I ever became that rich, it's exactly how I would be..

Who in the hell wants to be neighbors with rich assholes?

by Anonymousreply 44October 12, 2021 9:39 PM

The Swiss bank consultants teach the super rich whatever they ask to know about. I did it for a few years. I taught a lot of cross cultural communication, information literacy, how to read a room, how to express your ideas in a palatable way for the ruling elites. how to evaluate experts and expertise, intellectual and academic integrity and also the basics of gender equality and respect, and "gold diggers 101" etc. Super billionaires will have a few sons and daughters and some are interested to become upstanding, basically honest citizens (perhaps UNLIKE their parents), and some are sociopaths (perhaps more like their parents). One of my favorite clients was a Ukrainian boy who grew up middle-class but became the only billionaire's son in his city, in the kleptocracy after the fall of the USSR. Another was the son of a Russian gangster oligarch who just wanted to be a modest veterinarian.

by Anonymousreply 45October 12, 2021 9:43 PM

[quote] What do they teach them? I'd like to at least skim the textbook.

Certainly. Just deposit $10 million in an account at our bank and we’d be delighted to help you.

by Anonymousreply 46October 12, 2021 9:46 PM

Make that 100 million, dear.

by Anonymousreply 47October 12, 2021 9:47 PM

We must accommodate new clients by allowing small convenience deposits in the hopes of landing larger accounts.

by Anonymousreply 48October 12, 2021 9:55 PM

10 million isn't going to get you an Oxbridge or Ivy consultant. Perhaps a pamphlet.

by Anonymousreply 49October 12, 2021 9:56 PM

Nouveaux riches

by Anonymousreply 50October 12, 2021 10:59 PM

There is something magical that happens when net worth hits $10 million. It's like you earned the password to the right advice. After that they come to you and lead you to greater riches. It happened to a friend and he was shocked by the help he was offered. He developed a software program that hit the jackpot.

by Anonymousreply 51October 12, 2021 11:11 PM

I would also suspect that the learning curve is nowhere near as steep for Zuckerberg or Gates as it is for Russian and Chinese oligarchs who grew up in poverty in a country where everyone except for government officials lived in poverty and it wasn't like the government officials were rolling in it either, they just didn't have to worry about starvation.

by Anonymousreply 52October 12, 2021 11:22 PM

Interior decorators can help as well. I think I read one of Bunny Williams books where she explained she doesn’t just buy furniture for her clients, she teaches them how to live. I’m sure she’s referring to her nouveau clients who need a little help learning all the tricks.

by Anonymousreply 53October 12, 2021 11:37 PM

DLers are determined to drag this thread back to 1955

by Anonymousreply 54October 12, 2021 11:38 PM

[quote] There is something magical that happens when net worth hits $10 million. It's like you earned the password to the right advice. After that they come to you and lead you to greater riches.

I had a feeling that was the case. Thanks for confirming it.

The rich keep getting richer.

by Anonymousreply 55October 12, 2021 11:40 PM

[quote] There is something magical that happens when net worth hits $10 million.

I once worked as the personal assistant to a woman who had married a man worth about $60 million, which is pretty minor league for NYC. I couldn’t believe the bowing and scraping that people would do not just for her but also for me as her PA. The absolute obsequiousness of it all was incredible.

by Anonymousreply 56October 12, 2021 11:43 PM

Watch old reruns of Dynasty, FOOL!

by Anonymousreply 57October 12, 2021 11:51 PM

It's the job of the wife, really.

You marry Lucy Southworth, you have a lovely, quiet life.

You marry Melania, you get a golden toilet.

by Anonymousreply 58October 12, 2021 11:54 PM

Some people just know naturally what to do.

by Anonymousreply 59October 13, 2021 1:31 AM

I don't think the OP framed his question very well but I agree with the poster upthread who said that it was a fair one.

I came from an upper middle class family. My father was an orthopedic surgeon and my mom was a psychiatrist. Together they made a great deal of money but they weren't very savvy about what to do with it. They hired the services of a financial planner early on who certainly preserved their wealth but did very little to make it grow.

As a young engineer fresh out of school, I started down the same path. But I knew I wanted more, and as capable as I was as an engineer, I was even more capable as a businessman. Raw aptitude only gets you so far though so I went back to school, got my MBA, worked for the same firm for several more years then bailed on them to start my own company. I won't lie; I took serious, serious financial risks and it could have bitten me in the ass and ruined me, but it didn't. I'm not anywhere close to fifty yet but I'm worth multiple tens of millions of dollars. When they died my parents didn't have the wealth that I have now.

I don't think you "learn to be rich," but I do think that you have to learn to stay rich. Otherwise, if you're not careful, it can all be gone in the blink of an eye.

by Anonymousreply 60October 13, 2021 1:47 AM

R60 you completely ignored the set up to this thread. You grew up with educated wealthy parents with MDs. You have a graduate degree. You got richer than your rich parents. Dumb ass.

by Anonymousreply 61October 13, 2021 1:53 AM

I understood R60's explanation as relates to the OP post just fine - that's why I WWed his post. Essentially, he states that one learns to be rich by learning how to STAY rich. Be nicer, R61!

by Anonymousreply 62October 13, 2021 1:59 AM

You sound totally triggered R62.

by Anonymousreply 63October 13, 2021 2:00 AM


No, wealthy with class and breeding don't say things like that out front, but never the less same can be conveyed in other ways.

It may take a generation or two for new money (providing it lasts) to acquire certain instincts, but old money long has been taught to be leery of climbers, spongers, and grifters of either sex.

"We know nothing about him..."

"I'm sure Mr. Mottram

by Anonymousreply 64October 13, 2021 2:05 AM

I find everything business/money/investing related completely boring. If I suddenly won the lottery (which I won't, because I never play it), I would probably just leave the money in a savings account. My life is perfect as is, I don't buy anything anymore, I don't want a big house/estate, I don't want to travel. I have a couple of hobbies that I might indulge in a bit more. An easy average life for me, no worries!

by Anonymousreply 65October 13, 2021 2:47 AM

I know a hedge fund billionaire from a blue collar background. I’ve observed their rise over, say, the last 25-30 years. He figured it out slowly by being in a firm with some old money guys. Their wives recommended an interior decorator to his wife. The decorator recommended a personal shopper, and so on. Bought houses in the right towns, she took on the right charities, etc. Perosnally, I think they’re still tacky as fuck.

by Anonymousreply 66October 13, 2021 3:13 AM

Money can’t buy you class!

by Anonymousreply 67October 13, 2021 3:17 AM

Generally takes one or two generations for new money to lose their HKLP status. Then again some never do, much is the pity.

OTOH if done well middle classes are more than accepted into higher society circles. Noel Coward among a few others came from a decidedly lower class background. But by applying himself and with help from certain persons he rose and was accepted into wealthy circles.

Noel Coward mastered RP as if he'd been to public school and or otherwise from a privileged background all his life.

Bloodlines and background may still mean something for certain families in Europe, but far as America is concerned those barriers began dropping when "new" money like Vanderbilt gate crashed the old established order.

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by Anonymousreply 68October 13, 2021 3:48 AM

Gates’ background was not modest. I watched a documentary about his childhood and he grew up with all the advantages. These people are hardly ever “self-made”. They start with huge advantages be it money or amazing connections.

by Anonymousreply 69October 13, 2021 3:54 AM

ACK I meant that R 61 sounded totally triggered, not R 22

by Anonymousreply 70October 13, 2021 4:11 AM



Mark Zuckerberg was hardly from some impoverished family living in some ethic hood. The mother was a doctor and father a dentist. Together they gave their children every advantage possible.

Examining demographics of elite private schools in NYC and other areas there is now and long has been students from various backgrounds. One kid's family may have *some* money (one or both parents are say physicians or other professionals), meanwhile another kid's parents may own half of Manhattan.

What is far more important is contacts and relationships these students build through prep (or whatever primary and secondary education), onto college. It is those connections that follow people through out their lives and carry great weight in so many situations.

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by Anonymousreply 71October 13, 2021 4:12 AM

At a certain level the world is rather smaller than many would assume. This is how and why bounders, liars, posers, etc.. get caught and called out all the time.

Go ahead and try to BS someone about how you went to Buckley or any other elite private school. Chances are someone will say "really, what year?" or ask you about certain names. They are attempting to find out who you know that they also know.

by Anonymousreply 72October 13, 2021 4:15 AM

Mark Zuckerberg is still an ugly aspie though

by Anonymousreply 73October 13, 2021 4:31 AM

r60 and you have no class or self awareness

by Anonymousreply 74October 13, 2021 4:36 AM


Yeah, but he's a rich as fuck "ugly Aspie"....

You can bet so many females who didn't give Mark Zuckerberg time of day in high school or college are kicking themselves now. Priscilla Chan will want for nothing her entire life...

In fact same could be said of Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Jack Dorsey and some other tech billionaires. None of them are oil paintings, but just think of the possibilities....

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by Anonymousreply 75October 13, 2021 4:37 AM

I wouldn't fuck Zuckerberg no matter how much he gave me. He looks like the spawn of a Roswell alien

by Anonymousreply 76October 13, 2021 4:40 AM


That is why you are poor darling...

by Anonymousreply 77October 13, 2021 4:42 AM

I completely disagree R74. Honestly you sound jealous. R60 laid it out clearly and concisely. And you know what they say about people who use the word Classy, right?

by Anonymousreply 78October 13, 2021 4:45 AM

Once persons reach a certain level the "one percent" or whatever will reach out with overtures...

Brooke Astor tried and eventually gave up on Donald Trump. She had invited or did the inviting of Mr. Donald Trump to our very best social functions in aid of getting the man to make substantial donations to either Mrs. Astor's pet charity (New York Pubic Library), or any other. Notoriously tight fisted vulgar and common Donald Trump wouldn't take that bait. So Mrs. Astor and pretty much rest of society dropped the man and moved on.

When against every odds in universe DT became POTUS and that common little wife of his FLOTUS DT was going to get his own back anyway he could. This was behind DT forcing himself and that vulgar family of his upon HM and the BRF among other things. Those who wouldn't give DT time of day previously now had to kiss the ring so to speak.

OTOH Robert Trump and his wife Blaine Beard did play the game and were welcomed into society. But again both rolled up their sleeves and did the work required.

by Anonymousreply 79October 13, 2021 4:51 AM

The smart ones learn very quickly - this is why I'm so surprised with djt: it's rare to find someone as rich as he is with such terrible taste. Even shit-hole dictators have more refined tastes.

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by Anonymousreply 80October 13, 2021 4:54 AM

My accountant told me a Chinese client takes his young children to their meetings, so they fully understand at the earliest age the meaning and power of money, and the decisions rounding the family's management of it.

The rich are different.

by Anonymousreply 81October 13, 2021 4:55 AM

It takes them a bit--a lot of them continue to live in a pretty middle-class way, but with perks (they vacation wherever) and good addresses. A lot of the Silicon Valley affluent stick to that level--they're worth tens of millions, but they continue to socialize and spend like upper middle class types. But with extra property and maybe a small plane or boat.

When you get to $100 million, you start to see more of the mansions and other signs of what we think of as wealth and, yeah, they learn a lot from friends, mentors at that level of wealth. That said, I know of billionaires who live a pretty low-key lifestyle. The houses are nice, but don't scream mansion. There's definitely staff, but it's low-key. But the kids are at private schools and they go to better colleges than they would if their parents weren't rich thanks to pricey college counselors and donations.

Then you get to the insanely wealthy, where managing the wealth and fame becomes an issue. I'd honestly hate to be this rich because you have to live with a security detail and you can't just take a walk without people looking. I've seen a number of SV plutocrats in that intermediate stage--Sergei Brin, Zuckerberg, even Steve Jobs--where they're still trying to be normal and anonymous at the local shopping center or the farmer's market and then they kind of disappear because it becomes impossible for them, even though pretending to be normal is something the less famous, though still rich, can do.

I'm convinced it's why a number of them, like Zuckerberg, live in Silicon Valley, which still looks like a suburb, particularly Palo Alto. They can pretend that they're normal and their lives are normal.

Elon Musk is an exception--he likes the Hollywood flash and cash. He likes being a star and living like a movie tycoon. He technically lived in Palo Alto, but I've never seen him around. Much more in LA.

by Anonymousreply 82October 13, 2021 4:55 AM

Some, like Larry Page, decide to disappear almost entirely.

by Anonymousreply 83October 13, 2021 5:20 AM

Anthony Bourdain talked about restaurants like Cipriani and Michael’s. He said the food wasn’t innovative, not special and not worth the price. Mind you, he didn’t say the food was terrible. But he said the kind of people who ate at such places wanted to go out to dinner and not be bothered, so all the same kind of people ate there to be among their kind, like the Trumps.

by Anonymousreply 84October 13, 2021 5:23 AM

oh how the DL loves a good class/snobbery post

by Anonymousreply 85October 13, 2021 5:30 AM

He does not Pronounce the "T" in Often!! I heard my ex-wife's Great-aunt say that to her in the Library of her parents home in Lake Forest the summer before we got married. Good Husband material but NOCD, not even close, but he's tall& stopped biting his nails. 100 yrs later, I told that story to Dominick Dunne on a New York to San Francisco-then LA. Flight. There is so much on this post that I need to comment on , that will happen tomorrow.!

by Anonymousreply 86October 13, 2021 5:51 AM

All three of those people you cited come from affluent backgrounds. They weren't from super wealthy families but they grew up adjacent to that kind of wealth and power and it doesn't take a brainiac to figure out they quickly learned who to hire to help harness their new wealth and how to use it.

It's not like they grew up in a trailer in Hooterville. Even someone like Dolly Parton, who basically did grow up that poor, quickly figured out how to manage and grow her wealth.

Successful entrepreneur types tend to be...quelle surpise....quite smart. They figure out what needs to be done and who to hire to make it happen.

by Anonymousreply 87October 13, 2021 6:20 AM

They learn the ropes by watching reruns of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous."

by Anonymousreply 88October 13, 2021 6:29 AM

Dolly Parton figured out that the money was in owning the song copyrights. Plus, she was a talented and apparently disciplined song writer (I Will Always Love You).

This seems analogous to what Oprah learned, early on, from Roger Ebert. I.e., own the rights to a product.

by Anonymousreply 89October 13, 2021 6:59 AM

One of the most crucial things people should have (poor or rich) is learning to read people. That skill can help you to separate the fakes and scam artists from the good and decent people out there.

For example, opportunists know how to read people and how to push their buttons (like, say, appeal to their vanity) in order for them to do what they are supposed to do for the opportunist. A successful salesperson reads people and then knows which sales pitch will lead to closing the deal.

by Anonymousreply 90October 13, 2021 7:36 AM

Really, R90? I had no idea!

by Anonymousreply 91October 13, 2021 8:26 AM

The premise is quite wrong. NONE of them came from modest backgrounds.

That said navigating the money, security etc is often taught by the lawyers who work with them on the trusts and other ways to hide money.

by Anonymousreply 92October 13, 2021 8:33 AM

Rich people and especially celebrities often share business managers. The business managers get a 5% cut and oversee the complicated ins and outs associated with a super earner. they function like HR and accounting for the staff across production companies, properties, taxes, investments, etc. A lot of it is mundane--if an actor has 9 employees, which health care plan should they buy for the staff? Business manager shit. They also can write checks if authorized. If an estate needs a new estate manager, they will arrange interviews. And often, they just play musical chairs moving people/staff between their clients. They know who's crazy so if they send someone reliable to work for, say, Ellen, they can turn around and send that person to interview for another client.

Over time, they help connect their clients with the people who sell them stuff--realtors, yacht salesmen, etc. They also connect clients with housing staff. If you're middle class, you probably pay the maids and landscapers in cash. If you're rich, the maid is coming from an agency and the salaries start at $80k per year and all taxes/benefits are on the up and up.

by Anonymousreply 93October 13, 2021 9:10 AM

There are mutually beneficial relationships (business or personal) that can be developed with someone already in the élite class who can give them social entrée and tutor them. You can be in the established upper crust and down on your luck. Much like the heiresses from the American Gilded Age marrying into the weakened British aristocracy à la Downton, both sides received quid pro quo. A modern sleazy example of this was socialite Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein although she was more first generation nouveau riche.

by Anonymousreply 94October 13, 2021 9:25 AM

[quote] A modern sleazy example of this was socialite Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein although she was more first generation nouveau riche.

If you join philanthropy causes, you are bound to meet the likes of Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein. Ruthless social climbers and opportunists who scam newbies out of their money, pretending to make things happen for the newbies.

If you are new at being rich, you start at the bottom and put your trust in a bank's financial adviser. If you want to do social networking on a higher level, you go to etiquette school first and turn yourself into a proper gentleman or lady to fit in. It's like with foreign cultures, first you learn its customs then you can move at ease, make new acquaintances without putting your foot in your mouth. When the rich see you as someone who appreciates "their world", invitations and recommendations (for high-end services only shared amongst the rich) will come your way.

by Anonymousreply 95October 13, 2021 9:39 AM

As Fran Leibowitz says, you don't earn a billion; you steal a billion.

by Anonymousreply 96October 13, 2021 9:49 AM

Personal story that confirms some of above.

I’m not rich, but partner and I built up a decent sized portfolio: he as self employed and me as an executive at a medium sized public firm.

In my fifties, attended company-sponsored “retirement seminar” for employees presented by the fiduciary firm that managed company’s benefit programs. As a bonus, the company offered to provide a one hour sit down with fiduciary’s mid-level financial advisors to anyone who wanted to prepare.

When I submitted our paperwork for discussion, the primary fiduciary executive looked it over and took our case personally away from the junior managers. One hour turned into several.

From that, for a fee, flowed lots of advice on investments, retirement, as well as referrals to experts who handled real estate, inheritance planning, travel, etc. All niche, as R9 and others have said. None of it ridiculously expensive.

Since I was potentially in a position to expose incompetence or bad service to the company’s other executives, I think his recommendations were doubly thoughtful (as was also suggested above).

I suspect the services the truly rich receive are a hundred times more valuable.

by Anonymousreply 97October 13, 2021 10:04 AM

R82 actually gets it.

The new class of billionaire has zero desire to be part of the sort of "society" that gets DLers mussies wet.

It has zero appeal to them and they often start their own charities (B&M Gates Foundation) and do their own thing.

Yet another reason the whole DL fantasy of "society" and the "Upper Classes" is a thing of the past.

by Anonymousreply 98October 13, 2021 10:08 AM

Well, yeah. There always have been those who do their own thing. The rich elite is no different. And doing their own thing includes starting your own boys' club or secret society with ridiculous or sinister rituals. And it's not secret that there are enough Tech startup billionaires to have their own network, but that's basically a circle jerk that won't move beyond computer gadget and social media related endeavors.

However, there are the ones who want to desperately fit in with old money to expand and diversify their own portfolio.

by Anonymousreply 99October 13, 2021 10:23 AM

^ and they recognise “society” and access to “the upper class” for what it is: a money pit.

by Anonymousreply 100October 13, 2021 12:35 PM

[quote]I don't think you "learn to be rich," but I do think that you have to learn to stay rich. Otherwise, if you're not careful, it can all be gone in the blink of an eye.

Totally agree, R60. And good on you for knowing what you wanted and successfully executing a plan to get it. You sound cool, not snobby at all, and like someone I'd like to drink a beer or glass of wine with and pick their brain.

by Anonymousreply 101October 13, 2021 5:25 PM

[quote] oh how the DL loves a good class/snobbery post

Gates, Zuckerberg and Bezos are none of these.

They belong to a newly minted group of tech 1%ers, which really has nothing to do with either class or snobbery.

They invented something that made them insanely rich and powerful. That's it, and that's all.

by Anonymousreply 102October 13, 2021 6:26 PM

"Invented," R102.

by Anonymousreply 103October 13, 2021 6:29 PM
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