I'm the Bob Mackie gowns!
Let's Be a 1970s Variety Show!!
|by Anonymous||reply 249||October 16, 2021 2:30 PM|
I'm Special Guest Star Florence Henderson
|by Anonymous||reply 1||October 11, 2021 5:18 PM|
"Join us next week when Secretary of State Henry Kissinger stops by!"
|by Anonymous||reply 2||October 11, 2021 5:19 PM|
I'm Kaye Ballard singing "The Morning After"
|by Anonymous||reply 3||October 11, 2021 5:21 PM|
I am Mitzi Gaynor’s fabulous tushy covered in bugle beads decades before J LO and Kim K flaunted their backsides.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||October 11, 2021 5:23 PM|
I am the Ernie Flatt Dancers.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||October 11, 2021 5:24 PM|
I'm tight pants. Mac Davis and Tom Jones really fill me out. David Cassidy, not so much.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||October 11, 2021 5:26 PM|
"Ladies and Gentleman The Don Crichton Dancers."
|by Anonymous||reply 7||October 11, 2021 5:30 PM|
The beat goes on, the beat goes on Drums keep pounding a rhythm to the brain La de da de de, la de da de da
|by Anonymous||reply 8||October 11, 2021 5:32 PM|
Sock it to me?
|by Anonymous||reply 9||October 11, 2021 5:34 PM|
I'm the large collar-ed studio audience,
|by Anonymous||reply 10||October 11, 2021 5:35 PM|
I’m Sonny Bono trying out my solo variety show. It was like running into a brick wall.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||October 11, 2021 5:41 PM|
I'm America's favorite gay.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||October 11, 2021 5:47 PM|
I'm guest star Bernadette Peters!
|by Anonymous||reply 13||October 11, 2021 5:52 PM|
We're the one-hit wonder singing group who got our own network show!
|by Anonymous||reply 14||October 11, 2021 5:56 PM|
I'm Steve and Eydie!!
|by Anonymous||reply 15||October 11, 2021 6:00 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 16||October 11, 2021 6:00 PM|
I’m the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||October 11, 2021 6:03 PM|
I'm a V-A-M-P...
|by Anonymous||reply 18||October 11, 2021 6:03 PM|
I'm Donny's purple socks!
|by Anonymous||reply 19||October 11, 2021 6:06 PM|
I'm a summer replacement series!
|by Anonymous||reply 20||October 11, 2021 6:10 PM|
I'm Shields and Yarnell
|by Anonymous||reply 21||October 11, 2021 6:10 PM|
I'm the comic sketch where everyone keeps breaking up because they want people to know it's supposed to be funny otherwise it would come off like Mourning Becomes Electra.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||October 11, 2021 6:11 PM|
I'm Jim Nabors singing a Christmas favorite on The Carol Burnett Show in my deepest, most masculine baritone wondering if people believe the rumor about me marrying Rock Hudson.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||October 11, 2021 6:11 PM|
I'm Lola Falana, stepping in at the last-minute for Joey Heatherton.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||October 11, 2021 6:12 PM|
And now Madeline Kahn will sing Silent Night as credits roll...
I hope you enjoyed our Christmas Special!
|by Anonymous||reply 25||October 11, 2021 6:14 PM|
Remember when Saturday Night Live was canceled.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||October 11, 2021 6:19 PM|
I'm the leather outfits (though Johnny Nash looked good wearing me).
|by Anonymous||reply 27||October 11, 2021 6:23 PM|
I'm John Byner and you don't even remember me.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||October 11, 2021 7:02 PM|
r26 That was actually the REAL "Saturday Night Live," as what we now call SNL was originally titled "NBC's Saturday Night."
|by Anonymous||reply 29||October 11, 2021 7:20 PM|
I'm the Little Drummer Boy.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||October 11, 2021 7:29 PM|
I'm the guy running lights... we're now at the part where the stage is dimly lit, there's a staircase on stage left. Upstage are a number of gauzy "curtains", elegantly draped. Four steps up from the stage is the star of the show. She's in shadow.
The music begins to swell, the curtains move as fans off stage whir... and the male dancers enter from the wings.
3 - 2 - 1, lights up! She starts to sing, moves down the stairs as the dancers move in and crowd around...
A few more minutes and the performance will be over. The set will change, the audience will get a break to stretch. I'll leave the rest of the show to my assistant, leave the booth, head out back, have a smoke, talk to the guard.
Another night in glamorous Hollywood (well, Burbank really, that's where we shoot this shit).
|by Anonymous||reply 31||October 11, 2021 7:42 PM|
I'm Linda Lavin singing "What I Did for Love"
|by Anonymous||reply 32||October 11, 2021 7:45 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 33||October 11, 2021 7:58 PM|
I'm one of the guest stars who ended up on Hollywood squares or The Love Boat because variety shows died because the audience died off.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||October 11, 2021 8:06 PM|
I’m the Water Follies inexplicably costumed with a 1920s vibe, replete with Hanna-Barbera cartoon sound effects.even though comedic swimming is a pretty impossible task.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||October 11, 2021 8:47 PM|
I'm Sebastian Cabot singing "Shannon," that song about the dog that died.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||October 11, 2021 8:52 PM|
I’m the gigantic light bulbs that line the stage built for a studio audience.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||October 11, 2021 9:20 PM|
I’m jokes about streaking, gas prices, Nixon, disco, women’s lib, and Calgon.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||October 11, 2021 9:23 PM|
I'm the very non-musical b-list tv star embarrassing myself by signing and dancing in the finale. Extra points for a disco-themed finale.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||October 11, 2021 9:26 PM|
R39 Joyce Bulifant?
|by Anonymous||reply 40||October 11, 2021 9:36 PM|
I’m the token Black dancer.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||October 11, 2021 9:37 PM|
We're Will Geer and Ellen Corby dressed like hippies.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||October 11, 2021 9:42 PM|
I'm the comedy sketch with a TV star no one has ever laughed at.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||October 11, 2021 9:48 PM|
We are Pink Lady!
|by Anonymous||reply 44||October 11, 2021 9:50 PM|
I'm the mustaches.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||October 11, 2021 9:54 PM|
I'm Fake Jan. By the 2020s, I'll be better liked than the real Cindy!
|by Anonymous||reply 46||October 11, 2021 10:05 PM|
I'm Telly Savalas, singing on multiple variety shows for -- who the hell knows why?
|by Anonymous||reply 47||October 11, 2021 10:11 PM|
I'm Shields & Yarnell, the mime couple who took America by storm and then were quickly forgotten when the mime craze ended in tears.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||October 11, 2021 10:19 PM|
I’m Vicki Lawrence singing my number 1 hit song “The Night the Lights Went Out In Georgia”! With a kicky bowl cut and a gingham shirt!
|by Anonymous||reply 49||October 11, 2021 10:25 PM|
I'm the seamless backdrop of the stage, which could be lit with any color light. It was supposed to look like the perforners were floating in air or something. But even on TV you could see the seam where the floor curved up to meet the backdrop.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||October 11, 2021 10:30 PM|
I’m the enormous corded microphone (pristine white if I’m a real diva) that will more than likely become a featured prop in my performance.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||October 11, 2021 10:44 PM|
I'm Carol Burnett...tugging on my ear lobe at the end of the show.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||October 11, 2021 10:58 PM|
Tie A Yellow Ribbon is sung on our show because it was our #1 hit!
|by Anonymous||reply 53||October 11, 2021 11:03 PM|
Guest starring Lee Majors & Farrah Fawcett Majors.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||October 11, 2021 11:04 PM|
We're Sid and Marty Krofft!
|by Anonymous||reply 55||October 11, 2021 11:05 PM|
I am Helen Reddy and “I Am Woman”…..
|by Anonymous||reply 56||October 11, 2021 11:07 PM|
I’m the brother who Mom always liked best.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||October 11, 2021 11:07 PM|
That was the 1960s.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||October 11, 2021 11:08 PM|
I am the Smothers Brothers, Flip Wilson, and Sammy Davis Jr.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||October 11, 2021 11:09 PM|
We're the Hudson Brothers. We got relegated to Saturday morning TV with the cartoons. All dressed up in white jumpsuits and blow dried hair with no place to go.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||October 11, 2021 11:11 PM|
I'm Suzanne Somers, singing the lyrics to "The Hustle" while simultaneously performing The Hustle in a silver sequined gown with white fringe.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||October 11, 2021 11:12 PM|
I am Rich Little & John Davidson.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||October 11, 2021 11:12 PM|
I’m the Christmas carol medley re-mixed to a flashing disco beat with a chorus line of dancers wearing matching sequined vests and top hats doing the “Alley Cat”.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||October 11, 2021 11:14 PM|
I am unabashedly and unapologetically culturally insensitive.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||October 11, 2021 11:14 PM|
I’m a little bit country…
I’m a little bit rock n’ roll.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||October 11, 2021 11:15 PM|
I'm special guest star, Ruth Buzzi
|by Anonymous||reply 66||October 11, 2021 11:17 PM|
I’m guest star Jonathan Winters, Ernest Borgnine.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||October 11, 2021 11:18 PM|
I’m guest star Ted Knight!
|by Anonymous||reply 68||October 11, 2021 11:19 PM|
I'm the cuchi-cuchi girl, not yet out of grade school.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||October 11, 2021 11:19 PM|
[quote]Remember when Saturday Night Live was canceled. —The one hosted by Howard Cosell, after a dozen episodes
I'm Lee Majors, singing (?) "Windmills of Your Mind" on said canceled variety show. I'm praying that clip has been destroyed.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||October 11, 2021 11:20 PM|
My name is Raymond J. Johnson, Jr...
|by Anonymous||reply 71||October 11, 2021 11:21 PM|
I'm Joanna Pettet, performing a musical number with the June Taylor Dancers, here to promote my ABC TV Movie of the Week, "The Dark Side of Innocence."
|by Anonymous||reply 72||October 11, 2021 11:22 PM|
Lee Majors manager tried like hell to break him out of the boring TV actor mode.
R71, my dad thought that guy’s skit was hilarious. I never got it.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||October 11, 2021 11:23 PM|
I'm the splashy finale, devoted to a universal theme such as the Golden Age of Hollywood or America. Ice skating and/or "dancing waters" will be involved.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||October 11, 2021 11:26 PM|
I'm KC, temporarily leaving the Sunshine Band to join up and coming one hit wonder Teri Desario and perform our hit song, "Yes, I'm Ready."
|by Anonymous||reply 75||October 11, 2021 11:27 PM|
I'm Lola Heatherton's tragic comeback attempt, "Bouncin' Back to You!"
|by Anonymous||reply 76||October 11, 2021 11:27 PM|
I’m the DeFranco Family.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||October 11, 2021 11:28 PM|
I confused Lily Tomlin’s Ernestine character with the similar looking character that Cher did.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||October 11, 2021 11:31 PM|
I'm bugle beads, sequins, and Marabou feathers, and I am EVERYwhere.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||October 11, 2021 11:32 PM|
I’m the Mr Tudball and Miss Whiggins skit on The Carol Burnett Show.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||October 11, 2021 11:33 PM|
I'm the Captain and Tennille, performing a skit about a squabbling couple stuck in an elevator. The part of the bumbling elevator operator is played by John Byner.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||October 11, 2021 11:34 PM|
I'm Rod Hull and my emu.
Bonus appearance by the Hudson Brothers.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||October 11, 2021 11:35 PM|
We're tonight's sponsors, Buick, Pearl Drops, Life cereal, Femiron, and Short & Sassy.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||October 11, 2021 11:36 PM|
We're the complex multitalents of Kristy and Jimmy McNichol.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||October 11, 2021 11:37 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 85||October 11, 2021 11:37 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 86||October 11, 2021 11:38 PM|
We're the jiggling, scantily clad showgirls pretending to find Paul Lynde hot.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||October 11, 2021 11:42 PM|
I’m hiphuggers and VPL on everyone from Barry Williams to Jimmy Durante
|by Anonymous||reply 88||October 11, 2021 11:44 PM|
I'm Julie Andrews. Even someone of my caliber will have a variety show.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||October 11, 2021 11:45 PM|
I’m Bea Arthur, bellowing/mooing out some dour, down tempo song.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||October 11, 2021 11:46 PM|
I'm the devil that beckoned Geraldine Jones.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||October 11, 2021 11:47 PM|
I'm Claudia Lamb, seething that Quinn Cummings keeps landing the "lovable smart-aleck kid" guest spots over me.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||October 11, 2021 11:48 PM|
Were the dynamite duo of Bing and Bowie.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||October 11, 2021 11:51 PM|
"Even someone of my caliber"?? Julie Andrews had been voted America's #1 box office star twice just ten years earlier.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||October 11, 2021 11:52 PM|
I'm the hot bearded guy with the great ass among the Ernie Flatt Dancers.
|by Anonymous||reply 95||October 11, 2021 11:53 PM|
I'm Lena Zavaroni!
|by Anonymous||reply 96||October 11, 2021 11:56 PM|
I'm the applause track, that is edited in later just in case the audience wasn't enthusiastic enough with their applause. I seem to have a strange tinny quality that the rest of the show's sound doesn't have.
Also, I'm the audience shivering in the freezing cold studio.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||October 11, 2021 11:58 PM|
I am the Go-Go Boots!
|by Anonymous||reply 98||October 12, 2021 12:13 AM|
I'm Donny and Marie singing Reeling In The Years by Steely Dan, without benefit of reefer.
|by Anonymous||reply 99||October 12, 2021 12:14 AM|
I'm Paul Williams, singing all the songs I wrote that other people sang and made famous. I'm so odd looking it is amazing they allowed me on tee vee.
|by Anonymous||reply 100||October 12, 2021 12:15 AM|
I'm Julie Andrews, recreating some of my biggest stage roles (MY FAIR LADY, CAMELOT, THE BOY FRIEND), and other with high production values, but I'm losing ratings (though still winning Emmys) to my special friend Carol Burnet, whose show is on the same time as mine, but who's been established on tv for year and who has a great lead-in of shows on CBS.
|by Anonymous||reply 101||October 12, 2021 12:16 AM|
I'm "Just the Way You Are," perhaps the most popular song sung by guest stars of any level of celebrity who wanted to sing. Linda Lavin WORE ME THE FUCK OUT!
|by Anonymous||reply 102||October 12, 2021 12:18 AM|
I'm the single second or two of laugh track that still is used the first few seconds of every "Saturday Night Live' before a single visual is seen or a word is said. Probably taped back in the 1970s.
|by Anonymous||reply 103||October 12, 2021 12:18 AM|
I'm Lou Christie with beard and 1970s haircut, packing tightly into blue jeans on display as I sing.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||October 12, 2021 12:19 AM|
I'm the animated version of Helen Reddy's hit single "Angie Baby."
|by Anonymous||reply 105||October 12, 2021 12:20 AM|
And I'm the animated version of Cher's "Dark Lady."
|by Anonymous||reply 106||October 12, 2021 12:22 AM|
We're Kraft Foods, sponsoring the Christmas variety special and buying ALL the commercial spots. Be sure to save the TV Guide insert as well.
(I couldn't find a 70s-era clip, but they did exist)
|by Anonymous||reply 107||October 12, 2021 12:23 AM|
I'm Miss Kate Smith belting "Slow Ride" by Foghat.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||October 12, 2021 12:24 AM|
[Quote]I'm Miss Kate Smith belting "Slow Ride" by Foghat.
I'm also singing a Beatles medley with Cher [italic]and[/italic] Tina Turner!
|by Anonymous||reply 109||October 12, 2021 12:30 AM|
We're props from "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-in," sitting in the sun behind a chain link fence at the NBC studios in Burbank, and plainly visible from the 134 Freeway westbound.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||October 12, 2021 12:30 AM|
I’m Anne Murray in high heels for the very first time!
|by Anonymous||reply 111||October 12, 2021 12:38 AM|
We're Beautiful Downtown Burbank!
|by Anonymous||reply 112||October 12, 2021 12:38 AM|
I'm Sally Struthers, feeling all the feelings to a medley of "I Don't Know to Love Him" and "As Long as He Needs Me."
|by Anonymous||reply 113||October 12, 2021 12:39 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 114||October 12, 2021 12:41 AM|
I'm Ann-Margret and Lucille Ball as "Autograph Annie and Celebrity Lu"!
|by Anonymous||reply 115||October 12, 2021 12:41 AM|
I'm the piles and piles of coke and weed made available to everyone.
|by Anonymous||reply 116||October 12, 2021 12:42 AM|
^ Tell me about it!
|by Anonymous||reply 117||October 12, 2021 12:42 AM|
[quote]I'm Donny and Marie singing Reeling In The Years by Steely Dan, without benefit of reefer.
We're Donny and Marie singing Sam & Dave's "Hold On, I'm Coming" as if it were about a St. Bernard in the Swiss Alps.
|by Anonymous||reply 118||October 12, 2021 12:43 AM|
I'm the multimillion-dollar ad spot marking the debut of Petulant, the bewitching new fragrance by Prince Matchabelli.
|by Anonymous||reply 119||October 12, 2021 12:44 AM|
They air my commercial during all of the late 70s variety shows. I’m Shelley Hack for Charlie!
|by Anonymous||reply 120||October 12, 2021 12:56 AM|
The Lynda Carter special on CBS!
|by Anonymous||reply 121||October 12, 2021 12:57 AM|
I’m the Golddiggers. Or Dean’s glass of apple juice.
|by Anonymous||reply 122||October 12, 2021 1:05 AM|
I’m also the spread in TV Guide full of recipes from Kraft Music Hall.
|by Anonymous||reply 123||October 12, 2021 1:07 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 124||October 12, 2021 1:11 AM|
(oh fuck, I was a year early. Sorry.)
|by Anonymous||reply 125||October 12, 2021 1:11 AM|
I'm Miss Lola Falana playing a sultry Indian maiden in a Thanksgiving skit.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||October 12, 2021 1:14 AM|
[quote]I'm "Just the Way You Are," perhaps the most popular song sung by guest stars of any level of celebrity who wanted to sing. Linda Lavin WORE ME THE FUCK OUT!
I'm the stage manager in the wings, begging on my hands and knees for her to wind up the scatting after the final chorus.
|by Anonymous||reply 127||October 12, 2021 1:17 AM|
As telethons sort of count as variety shows with their various acts, I'm Jerry Lewis, year after year, trying to get all emotional by singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" and not intentionally being ironic (I think) at ... the Muscular Distrophy Telethon among and to crippled children!
|by Anonymous||reply 128||October 12, 2021 1:20 AM|
I'm "Easter Seals", the wildest Cassavetes film ever made!
|by Anonymous||reply 129||October 12, 2021 1:20 AM|
I'm Lyle Waggoner. I'm the hunky cast member of the Carol Burnett Show who appears shirtless in every episode.
I told you I was getting naked in Playgirl. The fact is, I was naked. Those wispy pubic hairs are all mine. I provided the biggest disappointment for all of my fans. But, maybe next time...
|by Anonymous||reply 130||October 12, 2021 1:25 AM|
On closer inspection, it looks like Lyle trimmed a bit down there even back then! He did have a great bod on the show, especially nice to see his raise his arm and expose nice hairy pits, like during a take-off of a deodorant commercial.
|by Anonymous||reply 131||October 12, 2021 1:30 AM|
We're the Hager Twins! We showed more in Playgirl than Lyle Waggoner did. Yeah, we were surprised, too.
|by Anonymous||reply 132||October 12, 2021 1:31 AM|
I'm Ed Herlihy, who narrated all of those Kraft commercials.
|by Anonymous||reply 133||October 12, 2021 1:31 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 134||October 12, 2021 1:34 AM|
We're International Special Guests Buffy Sainte-Marie, Kenneth Williams, and Lana Cantrell.
|by Anonymous||reply 135||October 12, 2021 1:35 AM|
What did he rip and what was torn? And what variety show was he on?
|by Anonymous||reply 136||October 12, 2021 1:35 AM|
Caterina Valente -- and since "Ed Sullivan Show" lasted into about 1971, Topo Gigio.
|by Anonymous||reply 137||October 12, 2021 1:36 AM|
I’m the sequins…every color, every shape, every size. On men, women, children…nothing looked better on antenna TV than sequins.
|by Anonymous||reply 138||October 12, 2021 1:38 AM|
I’m the name on everybody’s lips during the commercial break: Rula Lenska.
|by Anonymous||reply 139||October 12, 2021 1:51 AM|
I mean, they could have hired Shani Wallis -- most U.S. folks knew who she was from "Oliver!" and she could at least sing really well.
|by Anonymous||reply 140||October 12, 2021 1:53 AM|
Shanni had to wait for the 80s to strut her sequined stuff
|by Anonymous||reply 141||October 12, 2021 1:57 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 142||October 12, 2021 2:14 AM|
I'm the leading lady playing Charlie Chaplin. I swing my cane around a lot and twitch my moustache.
|by Anonymous||reply 143||October 12, 2021 2:14 AM|
[quote] "I confused Lily Tomlin’s Ernestine character with the similar looking character that Cher did."
That's Laverne (misspelled in the link), R78.
|by Anonymous||reply 144||October 12, 2021 2:15 AM|
I'm Toni Tennille, in my mushroom hair-do, grinning from ear to ear, singing "Love Will Keep Us Together." I will do this on every variety show in existence.
|by Anonymous||reply 145||October 12, 2021 2:22 AM|
I’m the gaudy, oversized tinsel draped from floor to ceiling on every Brit TV show in the 70s.
|by Anonymous||reply 146||October 12, 2021 2:36 AM|
I’m the shaved arm pits on all the male Ernie Flatt dancers.
|by Anonymous||reply 147||October 12, 2021 2:37 AM|
I'm Cher trying to keep up with Patti Labelle, Sarah Dash and Nona Hendrix.
|by Anonymous||reply 148||October 12, 2021 2:39 AM|
I'm the live studio orchestra, conducted by Peter Matz!
|by Anonymous||reply 149||October 12, 2021 2:45 AM|
R148 Almost as noteworthy as Dinah Shore trying to keep up with Leontyne Price and Ella Fitzgerald!
|by Anonymous||reply 150||October 12, 2021 2:57 AM|
I’m the super classy use of blackface in always tasteful Britain.
|by Anonymous||reply 151||October 12, 2021 3:06 AM|
I'm Paul Sand, and I don't really know where I belong.
|by Anonymous||reply 152||October 12, 2021 3:21 AM|
I'm Television City! In Hollywood!
|by Anonymous||reply 153||October 12, 2021 3:41 AM|
I’m Carol Lawrence, still coasting on my association with West Side Story.
|by Anonymous||reply 154||October 12, 2021 3:58 AM|
I'm poor little Lena Zavaroni, belting out songs and mugging for the camera. When the variety shows died so did my career.
|by Anonymous||reply 155||October 12, 2021 3:59 AM|
I'm the frantic off-stage worker who flips the APPLAUSE sign switch on and runs out waving my arms up frantically, beggin the audience to keep applauding.
|by Anonymous||reply 156||October 12, 2021 4:02 AM|
I’m the 70’s wardrobe stylist who brought Holly Hobbie chic into the American mainstream fashion. Beware the bonnet.
|by Anonymous||reply 157||October 12, 2021 4:20 AM|
I'm super-gay Rip Taylor but it's okay cause I'm here just to throw confetti.
|by Anonymous||reply 158||October 12, 2021 4:26 AM|
We're 60% of the audience born in the 1920s so we don't mind watching the Lennon Sisters.
|by Anonymous||reply 159||October 12, 2021 4:30 AM|
[quote]I’m Carol Lawrence, still coasting on my association with West Side Story.
And General Foods International Coffees. Go celebrate the moments of your life, bitch.
|by Anonymous||reply 160||October 12, 2021 4:32 AM|
I'm Perry Como's travel agent.
|by Anonymous||reply 161||October 12, 2021 4:34 AM|
I'm the backstage buffet that Karen didn't eat but Harvey Korman did on the Carpenters Christmas Show.
|by Anonymous||reply 162||October 12, 2021 4:41 AM|
Oh, Karen sampled that buffet.
And I’m the vomit stained toilet that can prove it.
|by Anonymous||reply 163||October 12, 2021 5:07 AM|
I’m the phallic imagery in r105 that got passed the censors.
|by Anonymous||reply 164||October 12, 2021 10:04 AM|
I’m that same imagery enjoyed by the artist in r106.
|by Anonymous||reply 165||October 12, 2021 10:06 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 166||October 12, 2021 10:10 AM|
R155, She was mistreated and mismanaged. It was a tragedy waiting to happen.
|by Anonymous||reply 167||October 12, 2021 10:22 AM|
We're Bobby Van and Elaine Joyce, dancing to a medley of 1970s movie theme songs, from "The Morning After " to "Gonna Fly Now."
|by Anonymous||reply 168||October 12, 2021 1:43 PM|
I’m the fact that variety shows > reality shows.
|by Anonymous||reply 169||October 12, 2021 1:44 PM|
I'm Professor Irwin Corey, making a guest appearance in a skit featuring Ann-Margret as a single woman looking for love on a single's cruise.
|by Anonymous||reply 170||October 12, 2021 1:46 PM|
I’m Donna McKechnie dancing away with the rest of the dancers, and dreaming of that hunk choreographer Michael Bennett. I’m going to marry him one day, and we will have a normal, heterosexual life.
|by Anonymous||reply 171||October 12, 2021 2:22 PM|
I'm Phyllis Diller, and I'm available at a moment's notice.
|by Anonymous||reply 172||October 12, 2021 3:20 PM|
I'm Carmelita Pope for PAM.
|by Anonymous||reply 173||October 12, 2021 3:24 PM|
I'm the coupon for 7¢ off a jar of Cheez Whiz printed on the corner of a page of TV Guide magazine, with a banner on the same page ad announcing the Andy Williams Christmas Special presented by Kraft, December 12 at 8:00 (7:00 Central).
|by Anonymous||reply 174||October 12, 2021 3:44 PM|
I'm the Unknown Comic!
|by Anonymous||reply 175||October 12, 2021 3:46 PM|
I'm also the Mandrell sisters' big hair bouncing around while they do a country music medley complete with fiddle and xylophone.
|by Anonymous||reply 176||October 12, 2021 3:49 PM|
I'm the white linoleum stage floor upon which you can sometimes see small pieces of black tape so the stars know where to stand.
|by Anonymous||reply 177||October 12, 2021 4:40 PM|
I'm ingenue Tovah Feldshuh, fresh off my Broadway debut in the musical "Cyrano," putting forth my best singing and twirling efforts, hoping to land a TV part or two and get me the hell out of New York.
|by Anonymous||reply 178||October 12, 2021 4:44 PM|
I'm the Cuervo Gold AND the fine Columbian.
|by Anonymous||reply 179||October 12, 2021 5:01 PM|
I'm Marlo Thomas and Friends
|by Anonymous||reply 180||October 12, 2021 5:06 PM|
[quote]I'm the Cuervo Gold AND the fine Columbian.
You're an Ivy Leaguer?
|by Anonymous||reply 181||October 12, 2021 5:13 PM|
Rula Lenska went up in my estimation when I heard the story of her being caught backstage while she was in panto, and she was enthusiastically fucking a dwarf.
|by Anonymous||reply 182||October 12, 2021 5:33 PM|
I'm Teresa Graves performing the theme from Shaft in a purple halter top and bell bottom pants.
|by Anonymous||reply 183||October 12, 2021 5:36 PM|
We're the post-Diana Ross Supremes, and we still exist as a group! Here we are singing a cover of Joni Mitchell's "All I Want" on Sonny & Cher.
|by Anonymous||reply 184||October 12, 2021 7:47 PM|
I'm the fully-staged Elvis tribute medley that was required by law of all variety specials from September 1977 through 1978.
|by Anonymous||reply 185||October 12, 2021 8:12 PM|
I'm Miyoshi Goddamn Umeki, motherfuckers. I'm on my best demure and flower-like behavior, but if Helen Lawson makes one more joke about my slanted pussy, she's getting punched in the cunt. DO NOT TEST ME.
|by Anonymous||reply 186||October 12, 2021 8:12 PM|
I'm the Maude lookalike who jump status chance to get on stage and sing a duet with Carol Burnett, having the nerve to tell her that she screwed up the song.
|by Anonymous||reply 187||October 12, 2021 8:18 PM|
I'm the Maude lookalike who jump status chance to get on stage and sing a duet with Carol Burnett, having the nerve to tell her that she screwed up the song.
|by Anonymous||reply 188||October 12, 2021 8:18 PM|
I'm Hee Haw!, the rural alternative to Laugh In, which was way too liberal for rural white Christian folk in America!
|by Anonymous||reply 189||October 12, 2021 8:25 PM|
I am celebrated photographer Harry Langdon, doing the gallery shoot for the press kits and promos. My work is sexy, glitzy, flashy, and kitschy--everything that embodies '70s excess. All we need is more coke.
|by Anonymous||reply 190||October 12, 2021 8:53 PM|
Hey Tovah at R178... how'd that work out for ya?
For years the Danielle Melnick role maintained your union health insurance and you managed a 'career' on stage in the tri-state area - I hear you're big in parts of Jersey.
You ain't goin' west babe and I'm thinking you're hoping for a few episodes of the upcoming L&O re-launch.
|by Anonymous||reply 191||October 12, 2021 9:27 PM|
I'm Jimmy McNichol. My sister Kristy and I put out one record album and ABC gave us a variety show.
I once hosted my own variety special with guests Conrad Bain, Jeff Conaway, Magic Johnson, Donna Pescow and Ricky Schroeder.
And of course, Kristy.
|by Anonymous||reply 192||October 12, 2021 9:47 PM|
I'm the "tribute to America" song medley honoring the Bicentennial celebration in 1976.
|by Anonymous||reply 193||October 12, 2021 10:07 PM|
I’m the bugle bead used to snort a teeny tiny bit of coke.
|by Anonymous||reply 194||October 12, 2021 11:17 PM|
I'm the nightly "Bicentennail Minute" on CBS all year.
|by Anonymous||reply 195||October 12, 2021 11:34 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 196||October 12, 2021 11:35 PM|
I’m the Tab and Tareyton 100s many a housewife enjoyed while watching this dreck.
|by Anonymous||reply 197||October 12, 2021 11:47 PM|
[quote]R190 I am celebrated photographer Harry Langdon, doing the gallery shoot for the press kits and promos. My work is sexy, glitzy, flashy, and kitschy--everything that embodies '70s excess. All we need is more coke.
I met him in his studio and got a tour around 1995, and he was extremely gracious. Really a gentleman.
I told him how much I liked his portrait of Cheryl Ladd in a gold dress, and he said it’s always reprinted with the wrong color values. The red background never registers as the right shade.
Now back to our regularly scheduled programming…
|by Anonymous||reply 198||October 13, 2021 12:01 AM|
I’m the mysteriously blackballed Roslyn Kind. Will work for bagels.
|by Anonymous||reply 199||October 13, 2021 12:04 AM|
I'm the real talent. They needed me to save their otherwise snore fest. I'm the thankless, background roller skater in fringe. Headband, short shorts, striped tube socks and rhinestone bedazzled to the max. Hotter than the sun.
|by Anonymous||reply 200||October 13, 2021 12:27 AM|
I'm the overhyped underwhelming Up With People Superbowl halftime show.
|by Anonymous||reply 201||October 13, 2021 1:11 AM|
I’m an Afro. Everyone has me.
|by Anonymous||reply 202||October 13, 2021 1:23 AM|
We're the Brady Bunch in our variety hour!
|by Anonymous||reply 203||October 13, 2021 1:38 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 204||October 13, 2021 1:51 AM|
I’m Lainie Kazan appearing on the Bobby Vinton Show for the 19th time. I’m the toast of Toronto!!
|by Anonymous||reply 205||October 13, 2021 2:42 AM|
I'm Susan Olsen pretending to not be racist on The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.
|by Anonymous||reply 206||October 13, 2021 3:18 AM|
R206, I had to google that. Homophobia yes, but I didn't find racism. What's the story there?
|by Anonymous||reply 207||October 13, 2021 3:20 AM|
R207, she's a HUGE Trump supporter and seems terrified that people of color are going to invade the country.
|by Anonymous||reply 208||October 13, 2021 3:22 AM|
I'm a young-ish writer, wondering if a lame takeoff of Star Wars is really all that I'm capable of.
|by Anonymous||reply 209||October 13, 2021 3:53 AM|
I'm Dom deLuise, and if Phyllis Diller isn't available, I can fill in!
|by Anonymous||reply 210||October 13, 2021 4:00 AM|
[Quote]I’m an Afro. Everyone has me.
Damn it if you ain't right.
|by Anonymous||reply 211||October 13, 2021 9:51 AM|
Was Jerry on amphetamines or cocaine or both [R128]? He was obviously on something because his temper would grow pret-ty short towards the end of that telethon. The whole idea of him being awake for the whole thing is now ludicrous.
|by Anonymous||reply 212||October 13, 2021 3:23 PM|
I'm the opening number "You've got the cutest little baby face" sung by the Bradys!
|by Anonymous||reply 213||October 13, 2021 4:26 PM|
I'm the Star Wars variety show Christmas special which is the worst thing anyone has seen in their lives in any medium.
|by Anonymous||reply 214||October 13, 2021 5:49 PM|
We're the King Family. Every year during the holidays, they'd roll out all 237 of us, then they'd put us away like a dusty old box of ornaments.
|by Anonymous||reply 215||October 15, 2021 1:43 AM|
Were these King Family people friends of the tv station owners? How did they get on tv? Did they have an "in" with the Lennon Sisters?
|by Anonymous||reply 216||October 15, 2021 2:35 AM|
I'm Dean Jones singing "Being Alive," while wishing I'd never left the Broadway production of Company, but hoping the casting director for Disney is really in the audience like my agent said.
|by Anonymous||reply 217||October 15, 2021 2:37 AM|
Whole families of singers! How dumb.
|by Anonymous||reply 218||October 15, 2021 2:38 AM|
I don't remember the King Family, but reading their Wikipedia entry, it's funny that their variety show was a replacement for "The Outer Limits"!
|by Anonymous||reply 219||October 15, 2021 2:38 AM|
I don't remember the King Family having a series; I just remember specials of them popping up around the holidays, especially with clips of one of most least favorite Christmas songs, 'The Little Drummer Boy", ba rump pump pump pum! Bah humbug!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 220||October 15, 2021 2:47 AM|
I remember the King family series. You'd hear songs like Red Roses For a Blue Lady. I remember when the Time Tunnel and The Monkees were in prime time. The 60s were idyllic if you were a white child in a suburban neighborhood.
Now it seems like it was a nightmare for just about everyone else.
|by Anonymous||reply 221||October 15, 2021 5:00 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 222||October 15, 2021 8:19 AM|
r222 Wow, for being so musically gifted, Richard sure was an uncoordinated doofus. And hey look, Suzanne Somers!
|by Anonymous||reply 223||October 15, 2021 8:52 AM|
I am the coupling that should have happened. "Ladies and gentlemen, Cass Elliot...with the Muppets!!!".
|by Anonymous||reply 224||October 15, 2021 9:02 AM|
I’m guest stars who actually rehearsed harmonies and dance moves for hours with hosts and other guest stars in order to be featured in a corny, albeit well-produced musical number. I do miss that. The closest thing stars come to collaborating (competition shows don’t count) is the Super Bowl, and that’s usually haphazardly thrown together, and involves no harmony or complicated choreography.
|by Anonymous||reply 225||October 15, 2021 10:32 AM|
R139) I’m Rula Lenska and friends are here from Europe.
|by Anonymous||reply 226||October 15, 2021 12:14 PM|
R225 speaks the truth.
|by Anonymous||reply 227||October 15, 2021 1:59 PM|
Carol Burnett's takeoff on the King Family. Funny.
|by Anonymous||reply 228||October 15, 2021 2:30 PM|
I'm Mitzi Gaynor's 100-Load Weekend
|by Anonymous||reply 229||October 15, 2021 2:33 PM|
We are the delightful Semonski Sisters in our matching frocks stitched together by our dear nana. We bring wholesome goodness into your home, like a breath of fresh air or a ray of sunshine.
|by Anonymous||reply 230||October 15, 2021 3:48 PM|
I'm Geraldine. The devil made me do it.
|by Anonymous||reply 231||October 15, 2021 4:02 PM|
R230 That little "boom" girl is frightening - like a child of the corn.
|by Anonymous||reply 232||October 15, 2021 4:03 PM|
Jack Albertson was Mitzi's co-star? What the fuck kind of musical special is that?
|by Anonymous||reply 233||October 15, 2021 4:25 PM|
Featuring KRAFT man-pleasing recipes!
|by Anonymous||reply 234||October 15, 2021 4:30 PM|
R234 I love that Clifton Davis refused to kiss her germ-infested lips.
|by Anonymous||reply 235||October 15, 2021 4:33 PM|
We're the Harlem Globetrotters. We had a (very) short-lived Saturday morning variety show called Popcorn Machine, featuring Rodney Allen Rippy & Avery Schreiber.
|by Anonymous||reply 236||October 15, 2021 5:41 PM|
And Goldie Hawn had us on her 1978 special...
|by Anonymous||reply 237||October 15, 2021 5:46 PM|
R234, and that there is why there was an outbreak of herpes simplex throughout the Hollywood community later that week.
|by Anonymous||reply 238||October 15, 2021 9:58 PM|
Why was “baby face” a popular song to sing on variety shows / specials in the 70s?
|by Anonymous||reply 239||October 15, 2021 10:12 PM|
^ One big reason is that it made the pop charts as a disco cover.
|by Anonymous||reply 240||October 15, 2021 10:17 PM|
Here is the duet between Karen and Suzanne, R223
|by Anonymous||reply 241||October 16, 2021 3:24 AM|
Oh god - that’s so very, very drecky.
|by Anonymous||reply 242||October 16, 2021 5:18 AM|
I'm the wiring and tape pulling back the aging actress ,guest stars, face tighter than Miss Scarlett's corset, to create some resemblance of youth.
|by Anonymous||reply 243||October 16, 2021 7:21 AM|
I’m ruffled tuxedo shirts tucked inside tight jumpsuits
|by Anonymous||reply 244||October 16, 2021 9:39 AM|
I’m the STAR-LIFT, consisting of a big-name female celebrity just extending her arms and letting the back-up dancers do all the work. Popularized by Betty Bacall in “Applause” and mocked by Meryl in the “Death Becomes Her” opening scene.
|by Anonymous||reply 245||October 16, 2021 9:48 AM|
Birdsong! is indeed one star-lift after another.
|by Anonymous||reply 246||October 16, 2021 9:50 AM|
Why did the networks allow men to wear pants so tight on TV back then?
And why did they STOP?!
|by Anonymous||reply 247||October 16, 2021 11:04 AM|
No variety show would be complete without a song from the Maharelle sisters.
|by Anonymous||reply 248||October 16, 2021 2:20 PM|
R241 Charlie Callas?!
|by Anonymous||reply 249||October 16, 2021 2:30 PM|