Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Let's be a Spooky Halloween Party Hosted by your fat co-worker Deb

I'm the spooky cat eye glasses Deb wears year round.

by Anonymousreply 65October 21, 2021 5:48 AM

I’m the cupcakes topped with candy corn. One cupcake is missing candy corn because Deb’s son Hershel ate some of the candy corn while Deb was out of the room.

by Anonymousreply 1October 11, 2021 2:21 PM

R2 I am the friendly whatsapp message that Deb sends out before the party, reminding everyone that Halloween is supposed to be fun and not offensive, so no cultural appropriation costumes please.

by Anonymousreply 2October 11, 2021 2:24 PM

I'm Hershel. I will be in my room drinking Diet Coke (Mom says it's healthier) and eating Doritos.

by Anonymousreply 3October 11, 2021 2:37 PM

I'm Deb's 65+ years of age, we know she's this old because she told you to call her "Deb".

I'm also her heart condition.

by Anonymousreply 4October 11, 2021 2:42 PM

I look 65, but I am only 42 for your information!

by Anonymousreply 5October 11, 2021 2:49 PM

I'm the spooky but kid friendly decorations.

by Anonymousreply 6October 11, 2021 4:43 PM

I'm the pumpkin spice/feces fat ass scented candle she's burning at her desk.

by Anonymousreply 7October 11, 2021 4:46 PM

I'm the obligatory purple-black punch that hopefully someone will spike. Deb only has some old Tuaca on hand.

by Anonymousreply 8October 11, 2021 4:49 PM

I'm Deb's Halloween photo from 1989, the last time Deb dressed up as the "sexy nurse".

She pulls me out and passes me around the office every year, just to let everyone know she wasn't always a fat whore.

by Anonymousreply 9October 11, 2021 5:04 PM

I'm Ginny in Billing wearing a witch's hat.

by Anonymousreply 10October 11, 2021 5:06 PM

R10 Ginny's a bitch, she took the last of the creamer AGAIN.

by Anonymousreply 11October 11, 2021 5:09 PM

R11, I'm the wart on Ginny's nose, which isn't makeup.

by Anonymousreply 12October 11, 2021 5:10 PM

I'm the Litter Box Cake! Aren't I a hoot!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 13October 11, 2021 5:18 PM

I'm the blown out piston on her office chair that explodes every time she sits on it.

by Anonymousreply 14October 11, 2021 5:23 PM

I'm Millennial Markus From Marketing. I'm going to bring some coke tonight and see if I can't interest the new receptionist who wears yoga pants on casual Fridays. Lemme just do a little bump before the party to check it for fentanyl. Okay, maybe a line and a couple bumps.

by Anonymousreply 15October 11, 2021 5:27 PM

I'm Meghan in HR squeezed into a sexy French maid outfit, and after snacking on Halloween candy all day, this look ain't working.

by Anonymousreply 16October 11, 2021 5:27 PM

Deb's costume is apparently "Sexy Fireplug."

by Anonymousreply 17October 11, 2021 5:29 PM

I'm the Pumpkin Spice Glade Plug In that can't cover up the rancid shit that Millenial Markus just sprayed all over the toilet in the guest bath under the stairs. God in heaven this guy 's ass reeks and he keeps sniffing. Is he enjoying my spooky scent or his own fumes?

by Anonymousreply 18October 11, 2021 5:33 PM

I'm the watermelon brain.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 19October 11, 2021 5:34 PM

I'm Cassidy. I'm the new receptionist and I'm dressed in a giant inflatable ketchup bottle because my autistic older brother calls me Ketchupy. Burkas leave less to the imagination but I will still be whispered about and even called a whore by my male and female coworkers.

by Anonymousreply 20October 11, 2021 5:42 PM

I'm the Dollar Tree decorations.

by Anonymousreply 21October 11, 2021 8:15 PM

I'm the older, single woman in Sales. I hate this holiday! All I'm doing is wearing bunny ears. That's it. That's all you get from me. My younger coworker is dressed as Raggedy Ann. She makes me sick. Boo hum bug!

by Anonymousreply 22October 11, 2021 8:24 PM

R22: or cat ears. And maybe some black tights.

by Anonymousreply 23October 11, 2021 8:25 PM

I'm the boss. I'm bored as hell and don't give a damn about any of you. I leave super early and tell Deb she did a great job.

by Anonymousreply 24October 11, 2021 8:39 PM

I'm Deb's co-worker BFF Tammy who is FUCKIN VEGAN OKAY> What did you just say to me?

by Anonymousreply 25October 11, 2021 8:45 PM

I'm the "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett played over and over and over again.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26October 11, 2021 8:51 PM

I'm the mystery crockpot stew.

by Anonymousreply 27October 11, 2021 9:15 PM

R27, I'm the hair found in the crockpot stew.

by Anonymousreply 28October 11, 2021 10:47 PM

I'm Mary Beth in Records.

I go to the party and end up playing old showtunes on the piano. I bring very good homemade brownies and make small talk with Cassidy (even though I think she is revealing too much cleavage. I am in my customary white turtle neck, vest, and denim skirt). Markus offered to drive me home as a last resort.

Both my piano playing and my brownies were a hit! People like me more than Deb.

On Halloween night I will be at my reformed church singing hymns in Latin to ward off the devil and his demons who haunt Hallows Eve.

by Anonymousreply 29October 11, 2021 10:57 PM

I'm the Swingers Party happening across the street that everyone wishes they were attending instead.

by Anonymousreply 30October 11, 2021 10:58 PM

I'm Jack Gerber, the super-serious 62-year-old inside sales rep, who didn't get the last-minute memo from the CEO that Halloween was to be treated as just another workday, that there was to be no on-site festivities and no dressing up in costumes, and who therefore showed up to work in a full-on bunny suit, while everybody else wore regular work attire.

by Anonymousreply 31October 12, 2021 5:46 AM

I'm Deb's sandals, the scariest thing about Halloween is looking at her feet fat rolling out of them.

by Anonymousreply 32October 13, 2021 5:37 PM

I’m the Peeps. I am not comfortable here. I prefer to be eaten at Easter, as God intended.

by Anonymousreply 33October 13, 2021 5:42 PM

I'm the guest toilet- the only one my guests are allowed to use and no shitting please.

by Anonymousreply 34October 14, 2021 3:07 PM

I'm the shitty chocolate cake.

by Anonymousreply 35October 14, 2021 4:12 PM

If you only knew, R35.

by Anonymousreply 36October 14, 2021 4:15 PM

Ginny is DEAD y’all. SHOW some respect.

by Anonymousreply 37October 14, 2021 4:17 PM

^that’s what makes her spooky

by Anonymousreply 38October 14, 2021 4:20 PM

I am wearing a name tag that says "Hi, my name is Phillip."

Phillip is not my name, but that was the most effort I could put into a costume for this stupid party.

by Anonymousreply 39October 14, 2021 4:21 PM

I'm Jayden the twink intern. My hands are always sticky.

by Anonymousreply 40October 14, 2021 4:23 PM

I preferred her costume from last year, r17.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 41October 14, 2021 4:27 PM

I’m Bruce in Sales.

I came dressed as a hippy, in floppy fringe, loose tie-dyed tee, and bell bottoms. So 60’s!

But I’ll leave a little early, and head to that party across the street, where the 60’s drag strips down to full leather underneath. So 80’s!

I make a great entrance, and party down all night.

by Anonymousreply 42October 14, 2021 4:53 PM

I keep saying *spooky* because it is October and Halloween season. It is so cute my colleagues love it.

by Anonymousreply 43October 14, 2021 5:26 PM

My party is both *spooky* and *spicy*

by Anonymousreply 44October 14, 2021 5:27 PM

I hope it's a "come as you are" party and that Miss Ellsworth, the office manager, insists on keeping the break room door closed to keep things quiet in the reception area.

by Anonymousreply 45October 14, 2021 6:11 PM

I'm the food dye that makes the food extra spooky and spicy looking

by Anonymousreply 46October 20, 2021 1:43 PM

I am the one who just has to come dressed as a handmaid. But there is no ‘ceremony’ tonight boys. Praise Be.

by Anonymousreply 47October 20, 2021 1:48 PM

I'm the string of purple lights.

And I'm the string of orange lights!

We're festive!

by Anonymousreply 48October 20, 2021 2:23 PM

I'm the bowl of candy I brought for everyone to celebrate...wait...what happened to it??

by Anonymousreply 49October 20, 2021 4:57 PM

I'm the half litre of G somebody poured into the fruit punch.

by Anonymousreply 50October 20, 2021 7:29 PM

I’m the crucifix hanging in Mary Ann’s cubicle. I was placed there to protect this God-fearing Christian woman from demonic spirits sure to be unleashed by heathen co-workers.

by Anonymousreply 51October 20, 2021 7:45 PM

Why is Mary Ann more popular than fat Deb?

by Anonymousreply 52October 20, 2021 9:34 PM

I'm Laura the homely receptionist with big tits who comes dressed as a Playboy bunny but wearing a child's Bugs Bunny mask.

by Anonymousreply 53October 20, 2021 10:02 PM

I got out the food dye and made my extra-yum purple deviled eggs with spiders made from green peppers. I used pimentos for the eyes. I wish you could see them

by Anonymousreply 54October 20, 2021 10:28 PM

I’m the themed, paper-thin plastic tablecloths from Party City, bought last year on clearance and stored in the hall closet for 11 months.

by Anonymousreply 55October 20, 2021 11:24 PM

I’m the topsy-turvy cake!

by Anonymousreply 56October 20, 2021 11:25 PM

I'm her Halloween costume. It's just a king sized sheet with two eye holes cut in it. It's the only thing she could fit into.

by Anonymousreply 57October 21, 2021 1:48 AM

I'm the heart attack that took Deb's life after the guests departed. When Deb didn't show up for work the next day, no one noticed or cared. Her body lay on the floor for days before neighbours noticed the Amazon boxes piling up and called the police to do a wellness check.

by Anonymousreply 58October 21, 2021 1:54 AM

I'm the boyfriend of Bruce, who dressed as Baby Jane Hudson, and has to explain to everyone at the party who that character is. They all say "ohh... cute!" but with blank looks. I wasted the better part of 2 hours on this costume. Fortunately I will reuse it on Halloween night at a gay bar where it will be appreciated. I still have a good time and the fraus love me.

by Anonymousreply 59October 21, 2021 3:17 AM

I'm the teal pumpkin that Kandace in sales puts on display outside her cubicle to remind everyone that FOOD ALLERGIES ARE REAL and that HALLOWEEN NEEDS TO BE INCLUSIVE.

No peanut treats in Kandace's dish!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 60October 21, 2021 3:32 AM

I'm Roberta, Deb's jet black cat. Look at me! I'm so ooo spooky! BOO!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 61October 21, 2021 3:33 AM

I'm the bowl of peeled grapes that Herbert, the office homo, brought in his pumpkin-orange Fiesta ware bowl.

Herbert giggles as he asks Jayden to close his eyes, put his hand in Herbert's fiesta ware, and to feel his creepy eyeballs.

by Anonymousreply 62October 21, 2021 3:33 AM

I'm the pesky pesticides along with the dangerous Delta, herpes and influenza viruses which are boldly bouncing in the bobbing apples basin. How do you like them apples?

by Anonymousreply 63October 21, 2021 5:25 AM

I’m Sal from Accounts Payable. Deb invites me every year out of pity because I have very bad breath and noticeable body odor even though I rub each pit and my love tunnel with a salt crystal every morning. I always go just to post pictures on social media of hanging with my “friends” and being cool. I also give Deb a finger bang behind the water cooler after everyone leaves.

by Anonymousreply 64October 21, 2021 5:42 AM

I'm little Debbie, Debs' teen daughter. Armed with my EpiPen and asthma inhaler, I'm costumed in my too tight, plus sized cheer leading uniform that proves I really am a cheerleader.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 65October 21, 2021 5:48 AM
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!