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Older gay men

How/where do you meet guys, especially if you're looking for guys your own age?

by Anonymousreply 124October 25, 2021 2:00 AM

Playing Bingo, Rose.

by Anonymousreply 1October 10, 2021 1:50 PM

Hmmm, what an odd place to ask this question OP

I am not sure if there are any older gay men on Datalounge

And if there are, I'm not sure they're interested in meeting men their own age. Or even the age they feel they look.

by Anonymousreply 2October 10, 2021 1:54 PM

Ha! Guys your own age generally want younger guys. Ride the hot daddy train.

Otherwise, find some older than you that is a rich fuggo who needs a caregiver.

by Anonymousreply 3October 10, 2021 2:06 PM

I love daddies but hate Daddyhunt. We need better apps than that!!

by Anonymousreply 4October 10, 2021 2:08 PM

the gym and the theater and cooking class and the Y and early breakfast at mcdonalds and car shows and expensive hotels and wine tastings and truck-stop glory holes

by Anonymousreply 5October 10, 2021 2:10 PM

The emergency room.

by Anonymousreply 6October 10, 2021 2:14 PM

nudist colony and nude beaches and saunas and steam rooms and art class as live nude models and swingers clubs

by Anonymousreply 7October 10, 2021 2:21 PM

[quote] and truck-stop glory holes

As if these are still around.


by Anonymousreply 8October 10, 2021 2:31 PM

R7- Whenever I look at photos of Nudist Colonies the men ( and the women) are always OBESE.

by Anonymousreply 9October 10, 2021 2:33 PM


by Anonymousreply 10October 10, 2021 2:33 PM

Get ahold of Senatrix's extensive gentleman callers' list.

by Anonymousreply 11October 10, 2021 2:38 PM

R2 must be the frauest frau that ever fraued.

The same places anyone finds men, including apps, clubs, saunas, cruising, and friendship networks.

by Anonymousreply 12October 10, 2021 2:44 PM

It’s has to be dark and damp.

by Anonymousreply 13October 10, 2021 2:46 PM

No, not damp.

Dampness activates the arthritis in my knees.

by Anonymousreply 14October 10, 2021 2:51 PM

It depends what you mean by older. If you mean 40-50 then Tinder works just fine, gindr too. Above 50 men still use the apps and internet as well as good old fashioned bars and LGBT centers. Anything above 60? no idea.

by Anonymousreply 15October 10, 2021 2:54 PM

men's choir, symphony, urinal at republican convention, leather daddy dry goods, tailors, used book stores, AA meetings, the library, tearooms, greenhouses, fabric stores, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, museums, galleries, auctions and showings of fine art portraits and photos of male nudes, professional colon cleansing

by Anonymousreply 16October 10, 2021 2:59 PM

Do older guys actually date each other? Seems like they are only ever chasing after guys decades younger.

by Anonymousreply 17October 10, 2021 3:00 PM

Shady Pines, OP.

by Anonymousreply 18October 10, 2021 3:04 PM

Older guys do go on dates. They call it golfing.

by Anonymousreply 19October 10, 2021 3:06 PM

I'm an older guy at 50, and the idea of dating a much younger guy kind of creeps me out, the last thing I need, is to feel(and be seen)as a dirty old man.

by Anonymousreply 20October 10, 2021 3:19 PM

Have a single friend like that. He his admittedly hot as fuck but he always dates these 20 year olds. (We are both late 40s). But they never last. He told my husbabd and I if he cannot find someone in the next five years we have to become a thruple. I am kinda into that idea...did I mention he is hot as fuck?

by Anonymousreply 21October 10, 2021 3:24 PM

Any dark bar.

by Anonymousreply 22October 10, 2021 3:31 PM

Palm Springs

by Anonymousreply 23October 10, 2021 3:41 PM

I don't look for gay companionship anymore. It has been years since I could say I am gay. Not bitter, that's just the way it turned out for me. i had many wonderful opportunities when I was younger, but they never progressed beyond sex. AIDS had a lot to do with my remaining single. All of my friends were dead by 1991. I'm now 80, so I simply don't have those desires anymore. I have had prostate cancer for over 20 years and one of the many treatments used to keep one alive is Lupron injections. Lupron is a hormone that eventually chemically castrates. I just go along with the flow and enjoy each day.

by Anonymousreply 24October 10, 2021 3:51 PM

[quote] squirt.org

It’s more like - dribble.org

by Anonymousreply 25October 10, 2021 3:58 PM

[quote] He told my husbabd and I if he cannot find someone in the next five years we have to become a thruple. I am kinda into that idea...did I mention he is hot as fuck?

Well, it is my hope that either he or your husband teach you to write (and speak) grammatically correct English.

by Anonymousreply 26October 10, 2021 4:00 PM

I love r24.

Seems like a genuine great guy.

by Anonymousreply 27October 10, 2021 4:04 PM

Any corner .

by Anonymousreply 28October 10, 2021 4:23 PM

Now that I'm in my 40s, it seems only guys half my age are interested. At first it was flattering, and now it's kind of annoying. Yes, they're nice to look at, but that's usually where it ends. I don't enjoy being called daddy. In fact, I personally find it creepy af. Also, I'm not trying to show up to a family event with a guy who could be my son. But it seems all of the guys my age want the younger dudes. So, the choice is either going out with young cuties who don't really have anything interesting to say, that you're kind of embarrassed to be out with because of the age difference, or being alone. I mean, Sophie had an easier choice.

by Anonymousreply 29October 10, 2021 4:25 PM

R29 Get back to us in 10 years.

by Anonymousreply 30October 10, 2021 4:27 PM

Bathhouses are where the geezers hang out

by Anonymousreply 31October 10, 2021 4:29 PM

And I guess you know that from being there.

by Anonymousreply 32October 10, 2021 5:01 PM

I'm 68. I stopped looking for guys of any age years ago. While the gettin' was good I had what I considered the best. I just don't have the energy or the desire for all the rigmarole involved with it anymore.

by Anonymousreply 33October 10, 2021 5:04 PM

If you're in the NYC area try Sundance Outdoor Society. It's mostly gay males, generally older gay males that go on outings- hikes, bicycle riding and other outdoor activities in the NYC metro area.

by Anonymousreply 34October 10, 2021 5:18 PM

The adult diapers section at Costco.

by Anonymousreply 35October 10, 2021 5:21 PM

There are several gay retirement facilities scattered around the country.

by Anonymousreply 36October 10, 2021 5:45 PM

[quote]Bathhouses are where the geezers hang out

Actually they can be good places to hunt. Because there you'll find people of all ages with high sex drives. And some of them, given they have to strip off, are in are far better shape than most their age. Spoke to a guy a while back at one who repaired motorbikes. Not my type, but he was rocking a tight lean muscled non-gym body that would have shamed a 20 yr old, but must have been in his 60s. Not an atom of fat.

by Anonymousreply 37October 10, 2021 5:55 PM

Call 911.

Luv me sum EMT’s!

by Anonymousreply 38October 10, 2021 6:01 PM

I'm currently 56.

I don't meet guys. I don't date. I haven't dated in a decade. I stopped even going out about fives years ago.

I have no interest in dating or dealing with other gay men at this point in my life. And I have less than zero interest in men "my age" sexually.

I will likely never have sex again. If I do, I'll be paying for it.

by Anonymousreply 39October 10, 2021 6:27 PM

Guys under forty have no clue how insufferable and undesirable they are

by Anonymousreply 40October 10, 2021 6:33 PM

@r33, I'm the same, I just can't be bothered with the pursuit anymore, besides I feel ridiculous playing the dating game. I'd just like to find a few guys to have drinks with, go out to dinner that kind of thing, but it's just not that easy

by Anonymousreply 41October 10, 2021 6:51 PM

I am 65 (he’s 69) ) and have been with my partner for 11 years (2 married)) We met online and It’s the happiest time of my life..

I still get cruised and hit on, though not as often as before. I would never date anyone under 50, but am so happy I don’t have to worry about it. Each decade brings new challenges but new opportunities for joy! Always stay in the light!

by Anonymousreply 42October 10, 2021 6:57 PM

I’m in my 30’s and have always loved dating guys in their 50’s and older. One of my favorite FBs is 62 with a rock hard body and cock that makes my ass feel so good for hours.

I usually meet guys on line although they tend to also go to gay bars more than younger gays do.

by Anonymousreply 43October 10, 2021 7:40 PM

I've gotten hit on at parties or work events when I was young 20's/30's by my age and older. But around 40, I got fat, my hair fell out and it's been all downhill from there. Just before the pandy, I grew a longish white beard, and started getting aggressively hit on by women in their 50's and really young men, who "like my beard"! So, weird, but I love the attention! (from the men, specifically.)

by Anonymousreply 44October 10, 2021 8:01 PM

Depends where you live. When I was in my 40s, I lived in Atlanta where I felt semi-invisible even in my own age group despite being in good shape, reasonably good looking, etc. I came to realize that single guys in ATL were basically average looking, incurious sorts who thought they were 10s and were looking for 12s. After dealing with enough of these types, I came to see them as jokes rather than caring what they thought. I traveled a lot for work for pleasure and ultimately relocated to DC. I found that I had often had much better luck elsewhere, such as in Chicago and in DC, there seemed t be a Daddy culture which I hadn't notice when I'd lived there before--I would get cruised by younger men who I initially thought were cruising someone else. I also found that there were plenty of single men my own age, easily met through happy hours, the local hiking club, etc.

My guess is that if you live some place that has created some cultural spaces for mature men, you can find them. If you're in a place that's pretty superficial overall, you'll have more trouble.

by Anonymousreply 45October 10, 2021 9:48 PM

Get you a little black book and collect names and numbers.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 46October 10, 2021 9:59 PM

Why it gotta be black?

by Anonymousreply 47October 10, 2021 10:00 PM

The supermarket Yes!

by Anonymousreply 48October 10, 2021 10:06 PM

The cruisy Kroger in Atlanta was full of very creepy characters, plus it wasn't a very good store. I went to the less cruisy Publix next door instead.

by Anonymousreply 49October 10, 2021 10:10 PM

Wait, there was a cruisy Kroger?

Tell us more!

by Anonymousreply 50October 10, 2021 10:14 PM

I wasn't cruised but flirted with by a good looking cashier at Trader Joe's in 2015. But I acted like I wasn't interested so he backed off. I still regret it to this day.

by Anonymousreply 51October 10, 2021 10:17 PM

The workers at Trader Joe’s are never cruising you old geezers. They are trained to be extra friendly and chat up customers.

No young person at Trader Joe’s wants to get into your old crusty pants

by Anonymousreply 52October 10, 2021 10:20 PM

@r49, Hi, neighbor I lived in Morningside for years and those were my grocery stores. Krogers being open 24/7 could get really dicey late at night

by Anonymousreply 53October 10, 2021 10:26 PM

I love older men because they are the ones who would more likely have HIV. When I first started on PrEP I let an HIV+ eldergays cum in my ass after a nice fucking in his sling.

I love how raunchy some elders can be

by Anonymousreply 54October 10, 2021 10:30 PM

R52 was more than cruised by cute young cashiers. This daddy found 2 friends with benefits at Whole Foods and Stop n. Shop. From personal experience a lot of young guys are very much into daddies. Most of my hook ups have been with guys 23-45.

by Anonymousreply 55October 10, 2021 10:37 PM

In NY, there are gay bars that have a thriving older gay male scene. Usually Happy Hours - I’ve met plenty of men in their 40s-70s. Have to be confident enough to go by yourself and strike up conversation - but it’s one the benefits of NYC that there are just so many men, old and young.

by Anonymousreply 56October 10, 2021 10:38 PM

[quote] it’s one the benefits of NYC that there are just so many men, old and young.

🎵So many men! So little ti-ime! 🎶

by Anonymousreply 57October 10, 2021 10:55 PM

The cute Trader Joe's cashier that cruised me, asked me for my Snapchat!

(I didn't know what he was asking me, unfortunately. I later found out it's the "Dick Pic" app!)

Haven't run into him since.

by Anonymousreply 58October 10, 2021 10:59 PM

No, Pops, he asked you for your SNAP card. He assumed from your manner of dress you were on assistance.

by Anonymousreply 59October 10, 2021 11:16 PM

Awe, crap.

by Anonymousreply 60October 10, 2021 11:24 PM

R39- Your response belongs in the DEBBIE DOWNER thread.

by Anonymousreply 61October 11, 2021 1:50 AM

I don’t! I go about my life- meet people in different settings from work to gym to tennis to skiing to friends, gatherings etc. Every now and then I go to the Eagle in NYC and mostly watch- every now and then somebody hits on me in these venues- happened a couple times at the Boat Slip in Ptown last summer but I did didn’t realize it at the time- out of practice I guess. I’d like to meet a great guy- going to Palm Springs to visit friends in a few days, my broker (looking for property) has hit on me in the past so maybe something will click. I live my life and count my blessings and do my best to stay “open for business”. But I don’t seek it and I don’t do apps. I’ve had a great ole gay life and some terrific relationships that ended for very good reasons. No complaints and only the normal regrets. Aging is about adjustment and living for the moment.

by Anonymousreply 62October 11, 2021 2:14 AM

A LOT of these older """"gay"""" men are tranny pussy chasers, especially the bear types. So, they're automatically gross.

by Anonymousreply 63October 11, 2021 2:45 AM

Very happy to have found contentment on my own. Medical care is my only concern - but that is not a reason for a relationship. I’ll save money to pay a nurse.

by Anonymousreply 64October 11, 2021 3:06 AM

R62- How old are you?

by Anonymousreply 65October 11, 2021 3:23 AM

R39: ‘And I have less than zero interest in men "my age" sexually.’

How come?

by Anonymousreply 66October 11, 2021 3:38 AM

I've had most luck meeting men on Biggercity. Apparently there's a lot of younger guys who like older, beefier men. Grindr would be next and no, it's not just for twinks.

by Anonymousreply 67October 11, 2021 3:55 AM

If you like high levels of pretentiousness with your naked men then this "art" film channel might be for you.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 68October 15, 2021 3:22 PM

Senior Centers.

Shuffleboard Courts.

That place in the park where you can play Checkers.

by Anonymousreply 69October 15, 2021 3:28 PM

r26 I hope you die.

by Anonymousreply 70October 15, 2021 3:50 PM

[quote]...especially if you're looking for guys your own age?

That's a tricky point from my experience. In my 40s it was reasonably easy to meet men of the same age. In my 50s, the number of men my age and older all but evaporated, but the number of younger men who were suddenly everywhere in my 40s stayed constant or increased.

by Anonymousreply 71October 15, 2021 4:40 PM

Liking the outdoors club suggestion

by Anonymousreply 72October 15, 2021 4:55 PM

[quote] In my 50s, the number of men my age and older all but evaporated

They've given up. I know I have. All that seems to be left in my age is old men chasing chicken. And how do you hold a conversation with somebody like that?

by Anonymousreply 73October 15, 2021 5:03 PM

[quote] I've had most luck meeting men on Biggercity. Apparently there's a lot of younger guys who like older, beefier men.

Is "beefy" the new term for obese?

by Anonymousreply 74October 15, 2021 5:23 PM

Not sure, but confident R74 is the new term for petty asshole lacking wit.

by Anonymousreply 75October 15, 2021 5:28 PM

R75 = obese

by Anonymousreply 76October 15, 2021 5:33 PM

I find them in the restroom at Home Depot.

by Anonymousreply 77October 15, 2021 5:33 PM

R76, still delivering the Dollar Tree goods.

by Anonymousreply 78October 15, 2021 5:37 PM

If it's your thing, Arts events: Ballet, opera, theater, and so on. During intermissions, hang out at the theater's refreshments area and mingle. Or at visual art events--gallery shows and so on--become entranced by some particular work, stand gazing at it, and likely someone interesting will join you and chat you up. Yeah, really.

by Anonymousreply 79October 15, 2021 5:56 PM

What a sad existence, R39. You sound like you suffer from depression. Being over fifty has never stopped me from getting out and meeting new gay men. I love to date and am looking for a new LTR with a man my age.

You don’t have to resign yourself to a lonely life. Please see a therapist.

by Anonymousreply 80October 15, 2021 6:55 PM

[quote]Being over fifty has never stopped me from getting out and meeting new gay men.

Where? How? Seriously.

by Anonymousreply 81October 15, 2021 6:57 PM

81 responses and you all missed the most obvious place to meet older gay men: DATALOUNGE!!!!

by Anonymousreply 82October 15, 2021 6:58 PM

? There can't be more than three men here who aren't sociopaths, misanthropes or paid by the hour.

by Anonymousreply 83October 15, 2021 7:06 PM

"Well, it is my hope that either he or your husband teach you to write (and speak) grammatically correct English."

teaches not teach, so much for the grammar police

by Anonymousreply 84October 15, 2021 7:16 PM

For R81: look for gay organizations in your area where you can meet guys with similar interests. I meet guys my age that way.

I’m also on Zoosk and have had several fun dates as a result.

Just get out of your comfort zone and put yourself in the game.

by Anonymousreply 85October 15, 2021 9:36 PM

lurking in the alleys where no one should dare go

by Anonymousreply 86October 15, 2021 9:41 PM

In DL-speak, "Older" = 30 +

by Anonymousreply 87October 15, 2021 9:59 PM

[quote]especially if you're looking for guys your own age?

Faulty premise.

Us eldergays only seek out young gaylings. My Grindr filter is set for 18 - 24 ONLY.

by Anonymousreply 88October 15, 2021 10:03 PM

R88- You're AGEIST

by Anonymousreply 89October 15, 2021 10:07 PM

Antique malls, of course.

by Anonymousreply 90October 15, 2021 10:12 PM


by Anonymousreply 91October 16, 2021 7:30 AM

"Have you found a treasure," R90?

Are you looking for a treasure?

What sort of treasure do you seek?

by Anonymousreply 92October 16, 2021 10:28 AM

I’d prefer a treasurer.

by Anonymousreply 93October 16, 2021 1:29 PM

R92- Honeymooners episode-

A woman says to Alice Kramden- Your husband certainly is a treasure.

Alice Kramden- I'd like to make him a BURIED treasure.

by Anonymousreply 94October 16, 2021 1:41 PM

I don't look for "guys" my own age.

And I'm a magnet for younger guys, who come to me.

It DOES get better, I have found.

by Anonymousreply 95October 16, 2021 2:00 PM

Oddly, I've found the same thing - I am not beating them off with stick but I have far more luck and action with younger guys as I get older. And I am nothing to look at. Which frankly saddens me because I'd really like a true companion and someone to talk to, but it seems if a man is single at my age, or anywhere near it, he's either Peter Pan, chasing youth or completely mental.

by Anonymousreply 96October 16, 2021 2:05 PM

r96 : Don't give up on older singles--sometimes something had come out of the blue in their life to stun them in one way or another and make them avoid relationships (maybe that's a portion of the "completely mental" part of what you wrote) . . . and then [italic]you[/italic] come along and you're a good fit, just the thing to bring them back to life as it should be lived. I'm not just talking--this is what happened with my handsome, witty, well-educated guy and me, and now we've been together for five wonderful years without a bump in the road. It can happen. Don't give up the dream.

by Anonymousreply 97October 16, 2021 2:45 PM

R97- I'm 56 years old and have never been in a relationship and I'm still hopeful I'll meet someone. I'm relieved I'm not one of those queens who only wants someone under 40 or under 30. I only want someone who's at least 38 year old but probably 40's and up would be best. It's best not have a shopping list when it comes to the type of guy you want to meet.

by Anonymousreply 98October 16, 2021 2:50 PM

R97, will you share the details of your great good luck? How did you meet one another?

by Anonymousreply 99October 16, 2021 6:08 PM

r99 : It was due to similar interests in a niche aspect of history. Chance meeting at a related event, and my intuition flashing on what he was all about, led to . . . developments. The right person for him had to be someone who was dependable and a [italic]little[/forward] but not [italic]too[/italic] forward.

by Anonymousreply 100October 16, 2021 7:16 PM

Oops. Tag fail. Sorry.

by Anonymousreply 101October 16, 2021 7:18 PM

I was attracted to 18 year olds when I was13 and I'm still attracted to them now at 64. With every year I become more creepy. And more celibate.

by Anonymousreply 102October 16, 2021 7:47 PM

R96 speaks for me also. Perfect post.

Last night I received a strange message from this 24-year-old guy. All it said was "Bet my dick is bigger than yours." Was that supposed to be some kind of come-on or insult? I wasn't sure which, so I just deleted it but thought what a strange way of approaching someone whose profile is not sexual in nature.

by Anonymousreply 103October 16, 2021 7:50 PM

it's called a pic collector, gramps.

by Anonymousreply 104October 16, 2021 8:00 PM

R104, respect your elders. Or fuck off. Whichever is easier for you.

by Anonymousreply 105October 16, 2021 8:34 PM

Ohhh...I'm scared.

by Anonymousreply 106October 16, 2021 8:37 PM

See how I did neither?

by Anonymousreply 107October 16, 2021 8:38 PM

at Bette Davis/ Joan Crawford film festivals

by Anonymousreply 108October 16, 2021 8:40 PM

I love my independence so the idea of "settling down" with someone is nothing I'd consider. I'm almost 50 and I don't see that changing. Dating isn't for me, I prefer hookups.

by Anonymousreply 109October 21, 2021 9:11 AM

Clean yourself up. Put on a decent shirt. And go out. Strike up conversations with folks. Go back to the same coffee shop or bar again and again. Buy two tickets to a show and invite a guy you enjoyed chatting with at the coffee shop or bar. And see what happens. Make an effort, A lot of men are also open or looking to meet someone too. Make it fun. As gay men, some of us are still dragging around some inhibitions or are more reserved than we need to be. So say hello. I promise you will be glad you did.

by Anonymousreply 110October 21, 2021 9:18 AM

Nursing home

Retirement village

by Anonymousreply 111October 21, 2021 9:24 AM

[quote] I love my independence so the idea of "settling down" with someone is nothing I'd consider. I'm almost 50 and I don't see that changing. Dating isn't for me, I prefer hookups.

Dating is very very very very far away from "Settling down."

by Anonymousreply 112October 21, 2021 4:12 PM

[quote]I find them in the restroom at Home Depot.

Try the tools and lumber sections for delightful, talented lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 113October 22, 2021 2:01 AM

There seems to be an aversion to gay bars - which for our generation is still the best way to meet men IMO. Even if you drink a seltzer, it is one of the best environments to strike up a conversation with other potential mates. Ex, Wilton Manors.

by Anonymousreply 114October 24, 2021 9:31 PM

I cruise guys at AA meetings.

Easy pickings.

by Anonymousreply 115October 24, 2021 9:57 PM

Underground parking lots

by Anonymousreply 116October 24, 2021 10:03 PM

Old man fight clubs.

by Anonymousreply 117October 24, 2021 10:04 PM


Yes, I know someone prolly already said it.

by Anonymousreply 118October 24, 2021 10:49 PM

I cruise them at church socials.

by Anonymousreply 119October 25, 2021 12:01 AM

[quote]I'm 56 years old and have never been in a relationship and I'm still hopeful I'll meet someone.

Why, bless your heart.

by Anonymousreply 120October 25, 2021 12:04 AM

R120, you're terrible

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 121October 25, 2021 12:06 AM

I hit on my home health care workers.

by Anonymousreply 122October 25, 2021 12:24 AM

Playgrounds are always good.

by Anonymousreply 123October 25, 2021 12:42 AM

If it is companionship you need, find a beautiful, mature, classy lady.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 124October 25, 2021 2:00 AM
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