Tell us your worst experience on a flight

My nuts weren’t warm enough.

This was probably 20 years ago, but we were landing in Chicago DURING a thunderstorm and the plane was bucking and rocking. It was scary. The Asian lady seated next to me (and her English wasn't the greatest) was actually barfing into the barf bag. It was the first and only time I've seen a barf bag being used! Myself and the guy on the other side had our bags ready to give to her in case she filled her bag up.

The worst that has happened to me was a five hour flight delay in Atlanta. You have to learn to exchange pleasantries and when the right time to open up your book and put your headphones in.

My favorite seat mates were two junior high boys that were playing some monster game with each other. The dad has to sit a couple of rows back. We experienced bad turbulence when landing and the guys got a little scared. I asked if they were okay and talking to them a little.

We were on a plane playing a monster game and there was some turbulence. Dad was a few rows back. Some old homo kept licking his lips and batting his eyes at us. We though he was having a seizure but he was just a perv.

About 30 years ago I was on a Delta flight ATL-Little Rock, Ark, and we hit heavy turbulence on our initial descent into Little Rock, and the elderly man in the window seat (fortunately the middle seat was empty!) experienced explosive incontinence.

My mom and I were flying back from Germany and were seated near to this guy who just REEKED of body odor. We eventually changed seats to get away from him (thank god there were empty seats) and I ended up sitting next to a kid with a dog who was IMMENSELY better than the smelly guy. The flight attendants actually came by with fabric refresher and sprayed all around the dude but the cloying fragrance mixed with the BO was even worse.

You really don't want to know.

Here's actually one that I caused. I had to take a shit so bad and I had a fart marinating in there that I was trying not to release. We were on the runway strapped in waiting to disembark. My best friend coworker was strapped in right beside me on the full flight. As we taxi'ed to the terminal I couldn't help it - it came out silent but OH SO DEADLY. I started to gag as it emanated outward (and usually one has a BIT of immunity to one's own stench. There was no escape for the doomed fellow passengers as the wave radiated outward. Friend is still traumatized to this day and I couldn't help laughing my ass off.

If I'd been a bit quicker, I could've looked at him and blamed it loudly on him. (My biggest regret in hindsight, even if he killed me after.)

Miami to SFO in economy with a massive fatty (wearing a tank top) sitting in the center seat. I was pinned against the window with her body parts protruding into my space. I tried once to reinforce the borders but she was having none of it. Fucking flight from hell.

about 20 years ago I was flying the dregs of TWA right before they went out of business. They were so hungry for money that they usually made upgrades to first class available the day before the flight for not that much money, so I pretty much always indulged. I was flying LA to NYC on an overnight and upgraded to 1st and wound up on a plane with a 2 1 2 row configuration and I had the center 1 seat row all to myself. They even came around and handed out individual DVD players to us to watch movies. The plane was a little late taking off but I was super excited I would not have to deal with a seatmate and could really stretch out.

About 10 min after we took off, we started to smell something burning. It got bad very quickly and the FAs were running back and forth. We were told we would have to make an emergency landing and I heard one of the FAs say the plane was on fire. We landed back at LAX quite bumpily and were met by several rescue crews. We disembarked and were shuttled back to the airport and given vouchers for hotels for the night, but it was so late by the time we got to the hotel, I barely had more than an hour's sleep before I had to head back to the airport because they had not yet rebooked any of us and we had to get there super early to try and get on whatever flights we could. I finally got on a flight, had to give up my first class seat and was jammed into the back of a 3 5 3 configuration plane in the middle of a row for 6 hours without really having slept for over a day. I had tickets to see a show in NYC that Friday night and I just barely made it to the theater before curtain, with all my bags, not even any time to get to my hotel.

[quote] the elderly man in the window seat (fortunately the middle seat was empty!) experienced explosive incontinence.

He should NOT have eaten at the airport Taco Bell!

About 10 years ago, I was flying from Seattle to Chicago. We were stalled on the tarmac with no information. Eventually, an ambulance is coming making all kinds of noise, some guys all masked and suited up come in and carry a woman's lifeless body out. Then the flight attendants were asking if anyone was willing to catch a later flight because apparently this woman came on the flight sick and vomited all over her whole row of seats before passing out. It was a full 4 hours before we could take off and then another 4 in flight. Why people must get on planes when they are seriously sick boggles the mind.

I was flying from New Orleans to Newark. There was intermittent moderate turbulence. The flight was packed with everybody from babies to toddlers to dogs. By the end of it I was just praying that the plane would crash.

She died?

5-ish years ago. Flying from Miami to Seattle. I sat next to a sick guy in his early 20’s that kept coughing, sneezing, and blowing his nose in the blanket that was passed out on the plane. He would blow, and then examine the snot in the blanket. So gross. About an hour and a half into the flight, a bulldog on board (not in a kennel so I assume an emotional support animal) had green diarrhea all over the carpet. It smelled so bad that I wanted to vomit. Such a nightmare.

OP, I do not know the people you flew with, but I hate them

Hi, my name is Patsy...

Flying back from SF to KC 10 years ago. Stuck next to a guy that was eating Chipotle with hot sauce. It was seriously gag inducing being in an environment like that.

I think you already know

Once while flying near Salt Lake City...something hit us...all the flight crew was either dead or seriously injured. There was no one left to fly the plane!!!

On a flight from El Paso to Dallas (my final destination was Oklahoma City), I'm sitting in my seat, when out of the corner of my eye I see a guy coming down the aisle who appears to have no nose. I immediately start thinking to myself "please please please do not sit next to me". Of course he sits next to me, and yup, he's got no nose, just holes in his face. Not only that, but he's a total Chatty Cathy, and immediately starts up a conversation, and continues yakking the entire flight, so I can't ignore him.

There's something really bizarre and gross about somebody with no nose. I've only seen a small handful of people like that in my whole life, and it always gives me this queasy feeling.

So yeah, anyway, I've had bad, scary turbulence, long flight delays, fat people spilling over into my seat, all the usual nightmare scenarios...but this stands out as the worst.

Flying from LAX to JFK, the man sitting next to me smelled like he hadn't bathed in a year. It was the most godawful BO stench, just sickening. It was a full flight so no empty seat for me to move to and I thought I was going to be physically ill, he stank so bad. After the plane landed and I left the airport, the BO stench was still in my nostrils and I felt like it was also all over my clothes. When I got home I took a Silkwood shower.

Whoever that guy was, he was one dirty motherfucker.

I gave an old lady my aisle seat on a 10 hour flight just because she asked nicely and I didn't have the balls to say NO. I will not be making that mistake again.

People who bring their disgusting stinky food on a plane. You'd think the inconsiderate assholes could just bring a normal sandwich or something, or even go without food for just a handful of hours.

Fun commercial...

I sat in business class.

On a flight to Oklahoma City and a really old couple were on the plane. The man basically died but there was a dr on board and they were giving him cpr. Had to make emerg landing in Colorado. Paramedics offloaded the guy and his wife. Then everyone else. We had to take another flight. 5 hr delay. I felt bad but then also wondered how many ppl die on flights every year (Carrie Fisher?). I would like to see the stats.

A man was dying but it was boarding time so Southwest had us file by anyway as his body lay there and the paramedics worked on him.

Be honest you had major gas and couldn’t stop farting into your seats.

On a flight to Phoenix a gentleman had a heart attack. They started CPR but he was dead. We had to file out of the plane after landing, right by the guy and his hysterical wife.

Flew through a tornado thunderhead. The tornado touched down near the airport, and we were stuck on the outer tarmac for half an hour in darkness -- even though it was daytime. The journey through the thunderhead, which we had to circle around, was like something out of sci-fiction: the clouds were violently shredded for what looked miles upwards and downwards. Have never seen an apocalyptic cloudscape like it. Once in a lifetime thing. Utterly spectacular but terrifying.

[quote]There's something really bizarre and gross about somebody with no nose.

No Jesus Juice and sleepovers for you!

Some years ago on an early evening flight from Boston to Washington DC, the plane was about two-thirds full. A row in front on me on the opposite side of the aisle was a handsome Italian-American looking man, early 30s, wearing a good business suit, well groomed, normally well-mannered but with some cockiness not too far beneath the surface.

He had had a few drinks in the airport lounge before taking his seat, and immediately started ordering a double whiskey drink. We were not long in the sky before the captain announced a heavy storm and certain turbulence ahead, but it was turbulence of a sort that I have never seen before or since, violent rocking around, deep sudden drops in altitude, and oxygen masks dropping from overhead. The good looking guy already had another couple of airline drinks in him at this point and stood up alternately begging for another drink and scream in a caricature Boston accent, "We're all gonna fucking die on this fucking plane! We're all gonna die this night!" Uncontrollably, over and over, and then sobbing hysterically.

The violence of the turbulence had the flight crew pale as ghosts and planted firmly in their seats, ignoring the handsome man and all the rest. Everyone was left on their own as it was entirely unsafe to man the aisles. Some of the crew were crying. The handsome man was sobbing like a child. Others were crying. But except for screams when the would plane fall abruptly no one said a thing above a whisper. Except the drunk Boston guy. Decades later it remains the worst flight I've ever had, no other comes close.

Getting out of the worst of the turbulence seemed to take forever. Once we finally did, and the crew were able to regain composure and put the plane right again, the handsome man was ecstatically happy. When we landed he hugged everyone around him, smiling but still dipping back into sobs, of joy this time, hugging the same people three and four times, "We made it! Wed made it, buddy! I was sure we were all gonna fucking die! But we made it!"

I had an 8 hour flight where I was next to a mum with her sick baby, who was on her lap and was stinky and crying on and off the entire way - I felt sorry for her because it wasn't her fault, but her husband was sat across the aisle next to their older child and never once offered to take the baby for a couple of hours to let her (and me) have a bit of a break.

I have been deathly afraid of flying since I was a kid (i've done a lot of flying, being born in Hawaii). I've learned to adapt (because I love travel), but i have 2 experiences up there at the top that scared the living shit out of me.

#1 - flying from Chicago to Buffalo and there was a horrendous storm we flew through. The cabin lights went off, it was turbulent as fuck, people's belongings flew to the side and i grabbed the person's had across from me because i really didn't think we would make it. it was scary.

#2 - flying home to SFO and as we are approaching runway, all of a sudden engines roar and we're about to touchdown but we lift up again and circle around the bay to avoid a near miss with another jet that was landing on our runway.

I have long-standing flying nervousness and these 2 didn't help.

*i grabbed the person's HAND across THE AISLE from me because i really didn't they we would make it.

There was also another prop plane flight when we hit a patch of turbulence and the whole plane turned sideways. Everybody's drinks/food flew off the tabletop and people were screaming. Pilot was able to right the plane and all was well after that.

R33 I feel like the Boston guy anytime I hit turbulence on a flight. I hate flying, ugh!

r37 i feel the same way. i've had to train my mind to think of it as hitting bumps on pavement. i was insanely afraid of flying for the longest time. I used to have weird dreams about a plane crash on a runway, up close and personal. some of my family live overseas and across the country so i had to come to grips with it.

Flying to Savannah, Georgia from Halifax, Nova Scotia, we experienced turbulence over Maine that was so bad some people were praying, and some were crying. I'm almost embarrassed to say that I wasn't scared. I have this strange lack of fear at times when I should legitimately feel fear.

What is it with turbulence and these short flights? Mine was from Detroit to Lansing Michigan. Smaller plane. We flew right through an ice storm and the plane was pitched so violently about that I was convinced we were just going to break apart in mid-air. We had to assume crash positions as we landed and when we finally touched down fire trucks and ambulances were there waiting for us. Just awful.

Any flight I ever took in Russia. Hours and hours and hours hoping the plane held together and the pilots weren’t too drunk.

[quote]I feel like the Boston guy anytime I hit turbulence on a flight.

I too am a wussy-Mary about turbulence. About 15 years ago I flew to Maine for a vacation, and we descended into Portland during a storm, with much bucking and rattling. It was bad but evidently not too bad, I guess, because other passengers were looking at me like I was nuts for white-knuckling the seats and praying silently.

My sister, an even bigger turbulence drama queen than I, told me she once started singing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" during a rough patch, prompting fellow passengers to laugh at her.

I don't know if I'd call it the "worst," but one of the most unsettling experiences I ever had was back in 2002, just months after 9/11 and right after we'd gone to war in Afghanistan.

I was flying to Sydney first class. It was my first time flying first class internationally. There was a Muslim family in the cabin - a man, his wife, and their two sons.

Everything was going fine until about halfway through the flight when I saw the entire family get up and walk right toward the front of the plane. Then they all got down on their knees and started praying in the middle of the aisle. I freaked out, certain that they were about to hijack the plane and take us all down. I looked around, and other passengers looked freaked out, too. And there wasn't a flight attendant in sight.

After a few minutes of praying, they all got up and went back to their seats, and the rest of the flight was incident-free. But my heart was definitely racing for a while there.

Seriously OP?

That sounds humorous compared to most awful flying stories.

On a 13-hour flight I began to have a panic attack (I'm claustrophobic) and had to run into the bathroom to keep myself from screaming on the plane and causing a scene. I felt trapped and couldn't breathe and began sweating profusely. Took off all my clothes to cool down. Then I don't know if I was scared "shitless", but I ended up shitting in the toilet, emptying everything in my stomach. I began to calm down after that. Got dressed then returned to my seat and proceeded to fall asleep the rest of the flight. Thank goodness it was a red eye flight and most people were asleep. Truly an embarrassing and scary moment in my life.

I was on a flight over Lockerbie, Scotland and then

I was five years old when this happened and so really just remember it from hearing the story enough times.

My parents, brother (he was 3) and I were flying from JFK to London.

It was TWA or PanAm and we were in first class on the top floor of a double decker 747

The plane got delayed on the tarmac-it had pulled away from the gate--and 30 minutes turned into 5 hours.

It was an overnight flight so five year old me slept through most of this, but it seems that the passengers downstairs in coach had a mini riot of sorts, were throwing things--they had not been served any food, the bathrooms were full and stinky and people wanted to be able to go back to the gate.

My parents said there were completely unaware of any of this, they were mostly concerned about making sure my brother and I stayed asleep and were nodding off themselves. They only learned about it when one of the FAs from downstairs came upstairs to report what was going on and overheard bits and pieces.

It seems police (or air marshals?) had to come on the plane and remove several of the passengers.

This was around 1990-91

The plane hit massive turbulence in mid ocean flying from London to São Paulo. It would suddenly plummet downwards and then just as rapidly shoot upwards. Over and over. It went on for quite a while. Women were shrieking. I just clutched the armrests and sort of prayed til it stopped. It’s apparently not unusual in that area but that didn’t make it any less scary at the time.

I flew Spirit.

R42, the last time I hit turbulence on a flight, I was on a small regional plane surrounded by a family with young kids and a baby. I was sitting there twisting my hands in anguish (“at least my death will be quick”) and the baby didn’t even wake up, lol.

I’ve become so attuned over the years to the pilot’s announcements. “Just keep those seatbelts on a few minutes longer folks, we may have some cloudy patches up ahead” = FUCK!

I'm ashamed to admit this, R50, but during bad turbulence I've even gone into "crazy mode" where if I concentrate hard enough, I can keep the plane in the air through the power of my mind.

The worst for me - which was pretty mild compared to many of these stories - was landing in twin prop during high winds. The aircraft tilted from side to side. I kept thinking, well, if a wing hits ground and we crash at least there's not much fuel to burn us alive.

I have noticed in the past 10-15 years that landings have been getting less smooth. I saw an article positing that the military-trained pilots are aging out of the workforce and the newer pilots don’t have the same level of experience.

April 2008. I was on a flight from SF back home to Portland, Oregon. We go in for a landing, hear horrible grinding noises, and then suddenly pull up and a few minutes later, land without incident. As I deboarded, I passed the cabin crew and heard mutters of 'landing gear didn't want to deploy' and 'that shouldn't have happened.'

My parents picked me up and I met them at the baggage claim curb, announcing that I was hungover and almost became dog meat on the tarmac and demanded we go get some Mexican food as I was STARVING.

R33 reminds me of a flight that I was on with horrible turbulence. This toddler aged kid starting screaming “The plane is going to crash and we are all going to die”! “Say your prayers because you’re going to die”! etc over and over. People around me got really pissed off at the kid, but I was really high and found it hilarious. I was crying, because I was laughing so hard.

I have two. First one was on a small commuter flight and it was very foggy. We kept circling waiting for the fog to lift so we could land. The pilot decided to try to land and when we broke thru the fog we were nose down and SO close to the ground but he maneuvered the plane to do a 180 and we shot straight back up into the sky. He finally said we were running out of fuel so we were going to turn around and go back to where we had come from. But we didn't turn around and I wonder now if we didn't have enough fuel to make it back. He started circling again and he was finally able to land.

The second one was on another small commuter flight and we were exactly halfway to a major airport. The cabin started filling up with smoke and then it just disappeared. Looking out the window the propeller was no longer running and fire started shooting out of it and then stopped. The major airport didn't want to shut down for an emergency so they sent us back to where we started. When we landed we couldn't taxi because there was only one propeller running so we had to come to a dead stop when we hit the pavement otherwise we would have ended up spinning. We were bussed down to the major airport a few hours later where I caught my flight. It didn't even make the news and the small blurb in the local paper said there had been some kind of problem with a flight.

R49 had the scariest experience.

In January 1982, I took the Eastern shuttle from NYC to DC after Christmas Break to go back to college. There was a snow storm. As we landed in DC, the airplane all of a sudden shot right back up into the sky as we were just about to touch down. We were diverted first to Baltimore and then to Philly. In Philly, the Airline told us about Air Florida Flight 90 crashing into the 14th Street Bridge. All further flights to DC were cancelled. In Philly, the airline paid for train transportation to DC. I can remember calling my parents in Philly to tell them where I was. My Mom was extremely upset. News about the crash reported wild rumors.

Since then, I see crying babies, bratty kids, and entitled passengers as minor distractions to be endured on flights. Then again, I have not flown since before the pandemic, so I haven't encountered the imbeciles who believe they are sons and daughters of liberty for refusing to comply with Federal and airline mandates.

[quote]In January 1982, I took the Eastern shuttle from NYC to DC after Christmas Break to go back to college. There was a snow storm. As we landed in DC, the airplane all of a sudden shot right back up into the sky as we were just about to touch down. We were diverted first to Baltimore and then to Philly. In Philly, the Airline told us about Air Florida Flight 90 crashing into the 14th Street Bridge.

Ack. I was stuck on the George Washington Parkway near Key Bridge for hours. Thankfully, the tank was full, so I could turn the heat on and off.

My worst experience is a bit unusual. A few hours before the flight, I got a call from my elderly mother. My father had been unwell for a while, and she told me to get on a plane right away, as he was not likely to live through the night. I was very close with both parents, and the sudden turn from 'ill' to 'dying' was a big blow. I got on the plane, and called my mother to tell her that I was about to take off. Lovingly, she told me that he had just died, 15 minutes before my call. I was pretty shaken, sitting on the plane waiting to take off to go be with her.

Just then, a woman sat down in the seat next to mine. She proceeded to open some sort of fast food that reeked of fish and garlic and gawd-knows what else, it would have been tough to deal with under any circumstances. She wolfed it down, and then burped and farted and sweated out garlic et al for the duration of the 4-hour flight.

To this day, I can't tolerate the smell of garlic, and I can't stomach fish.

Jesus OP how d was suckling kid?

Flying from London to NY we hit unbelievable turbulence somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. The plane felt like it was going to shake apart. I've been on planes that hit turbulence plenty of times, but not like this. It was truly scary.

British Airways London - New York (coach)

Our flight from Athens had been delayed as we returned to the gate after pushback to board some straggler VIPs. We sprinted through the terminal to arrive at the JFK gate just as they were closing the door. The staff let us board, tossing in "You just made it (as we weren't going to let you on if you'd appeared a minute later)."

After we reached cruising altitude, one of the flight attendants accused my ex of smoking on the plane. When he vehemently denied that, she'd have none of it "I can [bold]smell[/bold] it!" The ex hated tobacco smoke, very last person who'd do such a thing! That employee didn't pursue the allegation further; when we brought it up with the purser, she replied "I can have her apologize... I suppose" in a tone indicating we should shut up and forget it.

R63 I was on an AA flight from London to LAX. I went to the lavatory and I hit my head on the smoke detector, which started screaming. I was met by three flight attendants when I opened the door. Some old bitch accused me of smoking (I don't) and said she smelled smoke. The two others sniffed at me and, naturally, said they didn't smell smoke. Then I felt a trickle of blood running down my cheek. I had hit the smoke detector so hard, it gashed my head. The one who "smelled smoke" walked away, while the others brought me an ice pack to put on my head. They checked on me frequently the rest of the flight and apologized repeated for their colleague. I'm 6'6" but that was a first.

In December 1990, I was on a Pan Am flight from Helsinki to JFK. There were bad headwinds and the plane shook throughout the flight. About an hour from our scheduled arrival at JFK, the pilot announced that we were going to land in Bangor because we did not have sufficient fuel to reach JFK. I worried that I would miss my connection (I did), but became horrified when the lights cut out along with all engine sounds as we glided to land at Bangor. Apparently Pan Am, in its last throes of life, did not load enough fuel for contingencies as they were broke and had many unpaid fuel bills at airports around the world. We did not have to disembark, but they added fuel and we went on to New York without further incident. I think they went out of business several weeks late.

Interesting R64! Great that the smoking accident did work out for you in the end. As a sort of ironic twist, my ex had ordered a vegetarian meal since he didn't trust the food on British Airways. I gave him a small taste of my curried chicken to which he replied "I made a mistake - that's pretty good!" (He was from India)

At university, I was housed at a dorm that overlooked the runway for Bangor International Airport (though a decade before your incident).

British Airways was the worst I’ve ever experienced as far as in flight operations.

On BA, I once had a visibly drunk and very belligerent passenger seated next to me. He tried to engage me and I tried to ignore him. The more I ignored him, the more confrontational he became. The flight attendant tried to serve him more alcohol to knock him out but it didn’t work. It was a miserable flight.

I’ve had other similarly bad BA flights. They must not pay their staff very well.

Eastern Airlines Atlanta to San Juan, nighttime flight. Three landing gear tires blew out on take-off so we had two hours to train for an emergency landing. After reaching level altitude, instead of lights off, every single light in the cabin was turned on full blast. Then the stewardess pointed at three of us young, fit, bilingual guys (I was college age), and said “come with me.” She removed the older people who were seated next to one of the emergency exits and had us sit there instead. Nowadays, don’t think they won’t do it just because you paid extra for those seats. They will. They’re not taking any chances with an already difficult task.

So for the next couple hours we were drilled on each guy’s responsibilities and told to ask as many questions as needed. The guy next to the exit was responsible for opening the exit and throw the window out of the plane. I was in the middle seat, and my job was to assist passengers off the jet. The aisle seat guy had to use a firm loud voice to indicate to people to follow his voice and let them know where the exit is (this was before those floor lights were made compulsory as a result of some Air Canada disaster where a lot of people burned to death because they were lost in the dark).

That was of course, if there was no obstruction to our exit. But in the event of a fire on the wing or nearby our window, the three of us had to line up with our backs/asses to the fire, and become the unsung heroes that told everyone to find another exit, making us one of the last people to evacuate.

This was an L-1011, a very quiet plane. You could hear a pin drop during our descent. One of the flight attendants quietly broke down. People were very scared but interestingly no one was screaming or praying loudly. The cabin was totally silent.

It was one of the smoothest landings ever.

The pilot must have been overcompensating and did a great job. We were greeted by fire trucks, etc. But there was no need for them or for evacuating.

On another scary flight (Continental, Newark to San Juan, again at night). We hit a violent jet stream that made our plane jackhammer forward, prompting the pilot to take a sudden dive, which caused the flight attendant who was about to serve my meal to land on my lap, along with a bucket of ice.

Enough food was ruined to make them cancel food service and strap on for the rest of the flight. This was scarier than the emergency landing because it came out of nowhere during an otherwise smooth flight. Plus we were hungry for the duration without even a glass of water. Oh and in this one, a passenger had a heart attack, so I got to hear those famous words “Is there a doctor on board?”

On my very first (and only) transatlantic flight I was seated next to a woman who removed her gloves during the flight, revealing her naked fingers and hands.

This was the time before jet planes so the propeller made it too noisy to hear much.

But as we were deplaning I hissed "wanton low class hussy" at her!

I have not been on an airplane since that traumatic experience. I'd much rather drive to Disney.

[quote] Have never seen an apocalyptic cloudscape like it.

Hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers have, on 9/11/2001

[quote] Any flight I ever took in Russia.

Same here! Can you believe the rattle seats and wallpapered cabin?

I had a HELL of a time on the Concorde!

As a teenager, I flew from Bangkok to Paris with my family on Air France.

The very long flight was made much worse because the only other Americans on the flight were a mother and her two children across the aisle. She was a VERY loud redneck who kept screaming things at her kids like, "If you don't shut the FUCK up now, I'm gonna put a plastic bag over your goddamn heads until you turn fucking blue!"

Everyone on the flight was disgusted by her and assumed that she was part of our family since, even though we were quiet and better dressed, we were also Americans sitting with her. The flight attendants were VERY icy to us, even for French people. Near the end of the flight, I walked to the galley to get some water, as the flight attendants were ignoring us, and one of them told me that my family was very rude. I explained that we didn't even know the woman and felt the same, but it was too late. There was only an hour left in the flight.

She should receive the Mother of the year award R72! I find that if the plastic bag over the head doesn't work, a gasoline soaked rag stuffed in the mouth works nicely!

I don't understand the impetus behind traveling with young children to go see gammy and grandpa or going on vacation. If gammy and grandpa want to see their grandchildren, they should come to the grandkids. And people who go on vacation with small children are just selfish.

Wow r72, I wonder why American rednecks were flying from Bangkok to Paris. That class of American doesn't usually travel overseas.

R75 I suspect it was a military family.

Little Lord Fauntleroy r47 was all like "Mother, the common people in steerage down below are causing a ruckus! Should we be worried?"

Long haul flight from Minneapolis to Kansai/Osaka Japan. I decided I wanted to sleep on the flight so got an Rx for Ambien. The elderly Japanese gentleman sitting next to me woke me up in the middle of the night somewhere over the Pacific, as I was projectile vomiting. The curious thing with Ambien is that I didn't care/ had no emotional connection to the vomit spewing from my mouth. All I could think was- oh this is curious, as I puked into the royal blue airport blanket. Puke -then roll the blanket to a clean spot- puke again. Finally a flight attendant pretty much hoisted me out of my seat and aimed me towards the bathroom. Since this was a 747 with the circular stairway going up to first class I decided this was a much more comfortable place to sit- and vomit.

Two weeks later and Im in the tourist information office in Kyoto. Large room with maybe 50-60 people milling about. From across the room I hear, "OH you're the guy who was puking on the plane." Yup

R78 a tourist office? A 747 with a circular staircase? When did this happen, 1985?

[quote] Wow [R72], I wonder why American rednecks were flying from Bangkok to Paris. That class of American doesn't usually travel overseas.

When they arrive in Paris, they order Sank Alive at the restaurant.

Red Eye to Paris. Entire plane is silent, except for a gaggle of Slavic biddies directly behind me who chattered loudly the entire flight.

R72 I'm shocked someone like that was traveling overseas. Normally rednecks don't travel outside the county they were born in.

I've never understood parents flying to vacation with kiddies either. We were piled into the station wagon and driven. If it requires plane travel find a relative or pro sitter.

1984 JFK to Istanbul on YAT Yugoslavian state airlines- long before the collapse of communism. The cheapest ticket by far. It looked like we would leave on time, until one of the engines misfired as we were backing away from the gate. NO PROBLEM! we will send another plane from Belgrade! just a 12-18 hour delay. 24 hours later we are ready to go again. Made it to Zagreb and as we landed most of the overhead bins popped open with suitcase raining down. Just an eight hour wait before we would do the hop to Belgrade. By this time Im two days late for the Istanbul leg of the flight. My options- another flight to Kiev or wait two days until the next plane is available. I chose 48 hours in scintillating Belgrade.

Sounds just incredibly horrible R10. And missing a show on top of all that!

R30, what was funny about his wife?

Aeroflot into Sochi. 1977. Stewardesses spend the entire flight gossiping in the galley. No service of any kind. We are coming in VERY low over the Black Sea when the cabin starts filling with what we hoped was water vapor, rolling in like a thick fog. No explanation from the crew. Thought I was going to die.

R47 This is why there are regulations now about how long you can keep people sitting on the tarmac. You can't expect people sitting stationary in a tube with little information and no refreshments to not go apeshit at some point. In 1999 I was on a flight from NY to Miami with my family and we sat on the tarmac for 4 hours with no AC and no water. I was surprised a riot didn't start. I also credit that flight for giving me mild claustrophobia.

I hate flying and am terrified of it. My bf was with me and has no fear of it. We get up there and the plane is jumping up and down and bopping around like crazy and I’m terrified. Meanwhile my bf is reading the paper or something. I’m like ‘aren’t you scared’ and he says ‘no’ when suddenly over head our pilot announces we’re turning back because one engine is out. So I’m asking my bf now aren’t you scared? He’s still saying ‘no’. The plane is flying so bumpy I am tossed up from my seat about 8 inches and I’m like, ‘this is awful!’ And he’s like ‘when are they going to serve us refreshments’? Suddenly the pilot announces he’s letting some jet fuel out to lighten the plane! I turn to see my bf face go white. He finally was as scared as I.

When we landed after that first hour back in the original airport we took off from (complete turn around) they were rushing us right onto a replacement plane and I just about had to be carried on. I did not want to go. Him? No problem. He just walked right up and got on.

Did I say I hate flying?

I was kept in a plane on the tarmac for eight hours once. The toilets were overflowing.

I was flying standby on a friend's employee pass and I got upgraded to first class, the 1st row on the plane. I was beyond thrilled. At the time, I worked in law enforcement / sex crimes. This guy plops down in the seat next to me and it turns out he is a very good friend of one of the people I was trying to convict for sexual assault on a little girl. This fucker actually wanted to talk about his friend and I definitely did not want to talk about it.

Anyway, it was a waste of being in first class. I acted like a hillbilly, drank too much, rushed to the bathroom to vomit, fell asleep with my mouth open, etc.

R81 And THIS is why planes get flown into buildings.

[quote]I've never understood parents flying to vacation with kiddies either. We were piled into the station wagon and driven. If it requires plane travel find a relative or pro sitter.

I'm so glad you weren't my parents. My sister and I learned so much from air travel. And we knew better than be a nuisance to the other passengers. We flew, literally, around the world and learned so much about different cultures and foods. It was invaluable.

Okay okay so your flight experienced turbulence too. Can we get some fresh horror stories please?

Mine was a boy called Joey who kept going into the cockpit and used to come back with wet spots all over him.

worst-first class from Boston to San Jose, CR...got on the flight and a guy was sitting in my seat...he says to me, you can sit in my seat over there, I need to sit here with my business partner...flight attendant was super nice and set me up over there...that wasn't the problem....the problem was the entire flight he didn't shut the fuck up and proceeded to get stinking drunk.

best-flying from Nairobi to Geneva...my seat mate had never been on plane and I had to show him how to do everything...I was a college student heading home from a year abroad and he was around me age...his innocent nature was just beautiful...about 30 years ago

I would be very surprised if the loud Americans on the flight from Bangkok at R72 were NOT military

Good for you r93 but the fact is most kids don't give a shit these days. Some friends took their youngish preteens to Peru and all they wanted to do was play on their iPad. Pitched a fit when their parents encouraged them to climb Machu Picchu until they gave up. The kids spent most of the time in their hotel.

I despair of the trend to trash most Americans as boors by definition. However, in business class from Frankfurt to New York on Lufthansa, one fellow did not get his meal fast enough, promoting a bellow of [italic]Where's my guinea hen![/italic] in a distinct hillbilly-ish accent.

This was part of Trip From Hell, where absolutely everything that could go wrong, did.

With all the recent bad behavior by anti masks, anyone encounter these first hand? Me, im not travelin nowhere.. Never again.

r2 the only time I've seen the barf bag used was on a Delta flight from China. I was in the back of the plane, and the guy next to me (we were both in the middle section of seats) would spit mucus into his barf bag every thirty minutes or so, and then fold it up and return it to the back of the sea in front of him.

*I* almost had to use a barf bag.

A reminder that people always seem to appreciate: There is no amount of turbulence that can bring down a plane.

But it can damage it r101.

Never again will I fly from Newark to Chicago in Christmas night . A sick toddler of Hasidic Jewish Parentage cried the entire flight from gate to gate mostly facing me . The parents did nothing to quiet said child down . If I wasn’t anti Semitic before that flight , I certainly was when we landed . I’d your children are doing ll keep them at home

Got to an airport in the Bahamas. Officials at the airport tried to shake us down. Said we couldn't take off unless we gave them hundreds of dollars in cash.

Our pilot told us, "We're not doing this." So he told us to get on the plane (there were eight of us friends and it was a private jet). The next thing I see is him running towards the plane and closing the door quickly. As we pivot to get to the end of the runway, I see a Jeep with lights and a machine-gun-looking thing loaded on top coming towards us. Once we turn, I can't see any of the action on the runway, just know people with guns are coming at us. The plane starts quickly and swerves. Out the window, I can see the Jeep, now facing behind us as we pass them. The plane gets to the end of the runway and immediately lurches forward at a higher speed than I have ever experienced and takes off quickly and at a very steep angle. We didn't get shot at, but it was scary as shit.

Of course, we then had a pleasant flight. As we had something to talk about as we drank champagne and nibbled on all the food.

^Hillary Clinton

[quote]A reminder that people always seem to appreciate: There is no amount of turbulence that can bring down a plane.

Well, you can't fall 30,000 feet out of a DeSoto either!

Didn't Laverne once land a 747, R106? There's no end to her skill set.

R35 if it’s any compensation what you’ve described in your second scary moment is called a missed approach. SOP at all airports where the pilot makes a call that there is insufficient clearance on the runway due to another plane then powers up the engines, climbs, circles and lands.

I’ve had dozens of them - they can be fun unless you’re in a hurry to be somewhere.

[quote]Didn't Laverne once land a 747, [R106]?

With one foot on the corn and the other foot on the peaches!

So a return flight from London to Boston we sit on the tarmac for an hour and return to the airport. This is a 747 in the 1970's. Lots of peeps. Plane is broken, new plane coming in for us. My sister is bummed because the seat she was sitting in had a broken middle seat and she was looking forward to the extra room. As a family we were broken up in the seating arrangements, pissing my mother off.

8 hours later after waiting in a series of conference rooms, our new plane arrives. They had served us a meal at least. My sister sits down and notices that the seat next to her is broken, it's the same fucking broken plane! Before she and the frightened man in the other seat can object we are on the tarmac and off we go. Then they tell us they had off loaded the food and didn't reload so there's no food , just peanuts and pretzels and all the free booze we want.

All is fine for three hours, then the turbulence starts. And it's bad. I swear the plane dropped 1k feet at one moment. Screaming, and puking commences. On and off for 3 1/2 hours while lightning flashes outside the plane. Oh the humanity, and the puke and the screams and the crying.

Finally we come in to land and the fucking plan bounces when it hits the runway. This causes the metal food trays, that we didn't get to eat off of, to burst out of the galleys and shoot down the aisles, clattering from first class to coach. Then all the masks deployed in front of our faces and the plane stopped so suddenly we ended up slammed backwards into our seats.

Finally the cheers.

But I'm 13 and I'm immortal, so I think all of this was terribly exciting. Couldn't wait to fly again.

R16 OP here... Yeah I hated them as well. If it makes you feel better, I could take no more and got into it with the dad at about hour #5 and asked him to please quit moving about the aircraft, leaning into my seat, talking loudly, the boob slurping and baby farting, etc. He was fucking floored. He became so enraged that he clenched his fists in my face and threatened to punch me out. I stood there and told him, "Come on, take your best shot. I'll watch you go to jail and then sue your fucking ass off." I really wanted him to assault me. It took him a few minutes but he finally realized he would regret punching me. He continued to be a jerk into the terminal. I enjoyed laughing at him once off the flight.

R110 🤣” But I’m 13 and I’m immortal so I think all of this was terribly exciting”. Oh how I remember that way of thinking. I wouldn’t mind if I got to be 13 again. No fear!

Our flight had one bad bought of turbulence which made all the trays burst out of the cart that held them and after that we were all given free champagne. I remember ‘feeling’ 13 after a few…no fear!

Kids today are feral animals, they don't know how to sit down and shut the fuck up. My parents would've killed me if I'd acted the way kids do in public today.

r103 even other Jews hate the Hasids. My Jewish friends sound like Nazis when they talk about the Hasids.

Interesting that all these people have posted and not one of them died. Weird.

My flight out of Cincinnatti sat just off the runway on the tarmac for a couple of hours waiting for a nasty summer storm to subside. We had already taxied out there and were about to take off when the pilot announced he 'didn't feel good' about this. Huh? This was a smallish puddle jumper that seemed aged and well worn, causing some concern, to me at least. The pilot would come on the system and update us now and then. Lots of 'still too risky, we want to be safe' stuff coming from the flight deck and passengers were getting agitated. The skies looked pretty bad from my window seat. Suddenly the pilot comes on and says, 'There is a very small window of opportunity to take off if we go right now so everyone prepare for immediate take-off!." So we did and it was terrifying. The little plane rattled and shook several minutes after we were airborne. I really hate flying.

This too

[quote] [R103] even other Jews hate the Hasids. My Israeli friends in particular sound like Nazis when they talk about the Hasids.

But judging an entire people by the poor parenting skills of a single couple seems like it's on R103.

And babies cry on planes and often there's not much to be done about it.

I'd rather hang with the Hasids than with child-hating Flyoverstani trash like him.

I haven’t flown since 2019. I’m not the most experienced flyer and I get really anxious. My partner used to travel for work, and the flights don’t faze him. He pretty much konks out before take off and sleeps the whole time. I’ve had some scary flights, but what really puts me off the idea of flying for a while is the fucking cancelled flights and delays. On our last trip, to NYC, they cancelled our direct flight and told us they were rebooking us the next day. I had a work commitment the next morning in NYC and we finally got someone to listen to us. They tried booking us on separate flights, but finally we made it on one together (two stops) and wound up not getting to our hotel in NYC until 2:00 am. On our return flight, more cancellations, and we spent 10 hours hanging out at JFK. It was fun watching some fellow passengers get drunker and drunker at the bar and become belligerent—and then denied passage on the flight once it got there because of their behavior.

Several years ago, I was on a sold-out "Airbus" (read:cramped) in mid-July, a nonstop, little over 5 hour flight, from Charlotte to San Fran. It was stuffy and hot upon boarding, and the flight was long, just over 5.5 hours. I had a window seat. Next to me, was (at least) a 375-400 lb slob, who looked like a cross between Newman from Seinfeld, and Jabba The Hutt. His B.O. was notable. On the aisle seat, was a woman who was at least in her mid eighties.

Anyway, about three minutes after the seatbelt sign had been turned off, this greasy fuck pulls out a large, tuna salad sandwich from his snack murse, and proceeds to chow down. I'm one of those people who is extremely adverse to food smells, outside of a restaurant, or my own house, particularly when I'm not eating.

I pull the neck portion of my shirt over my mouth and nose, trying not to gag, giving this sweaty troglodyte, the most evil side eye I could muster. He was oblivious.

It finally finished, after much smacking and grunting, and I relaxed, comfortable with the info this flight served lunch.

20 minutes later, he pulls out a SECOND Tuna salad sandwich, and tore into it. On my 2nd Bacardi and Coke, in addition to the two I had preflight, I turned to him, and said "Hey, boss? You think you could go eat that somewhere else The beverage station, the toilet, anywhere but here? Youre making me nauseous. He guffawed, like John Belushi coughing up a fair-sized bite of tuna salad sandwich, all over his shirt. 6 seconds later, I vomited all over the back of my seat, and his gluttonous body, mostly on his lap. I was moved to first class right after the incident, and told Orca he was a disgusting fattie, and told the octogenarian sitting with us "Good luck, I bet he has at least two more".

R103 I had a toddler seated in front of me shrieking for 5 nonstop hours, from Atlanta to Ontario, CA. The young parents did nothing. I'd have picked him up and walked him around and at least tried, right? They were just your regular trailer park people from Flyoverville, Nowhere. As we approached the airport he FINALLY fell asleep. I so wanted to smack the crap out of his tiny mouth. The moment the wheels popped out the noise and plane jerking woke him back up.

Little fucker.

And yet you did not decide to hate all regular trailer park people from Flyoverstan R120

Because unlike R103, you are not a bigot

R121 No, but I do admit to hating anyone that likes Trump.

r117 what idiotic virtue-signaling horseshit.

[quote]I'd rather hang with the Hasids than with child-hating Flyoverstani trash like him.

LOL no, you wouldn't. Believe me.

Child-free sections on North American airlines are absolutely needed, complaining fraus or Save-a-Hoe Captains (i.e. R117) be damned.

[quote]Our flight had one bad bout of turbulence which made all the trays burst out of the cart that held them and after that we were all given free champagne. I remember ‘feeling’ 13 after a few…no fear!

I've told this story before, but my partner and I flew to Miami back in 2002 on now-defunct Northwest Airlines. We had booked a cruise, and we got upgraded to first-class at the last minute as part of our package. The flight attendant—a grizzled diner waitress of the skies who looked like her name could be Gert or Marge—sensed that I was a nervous flyer, leaned over, and said, "Hon, as soon as we reach cruising altitude, I'm starting drink service. What'll ya have?" God bless Gert!

r117 and r47 are the sniveling overprivileged twat YourMillennialFriend.

Up at 5am. First edible. Two Bloody Marys. Bumpy, stormy day and two hours in a CRJ_200 with a slam landing.

[R48], you might have been flying over the equator. Pilots on flights that cross the equator start requesting a forty thousand foot ceiling for that portion. Otherwise, in the words of a United Airlines captain, the plane shakes, "Like a bed in a whorehouse."

"Cincinnatti"

Oh, dear!

Who cares about Cincinnati and how the fuck it's spelled?

R87 The IL-86 was notorious for the white "fog." My favorite part of flying on IL-86's is that you put your own suitcases in the baggage bin then walk up the steps inside the plane to the seats. Keeps people from traveling with more than they can carry!

In the early 2000's, I took an Atlantis cruise of the Baltic Sea. We had two days in St. Petersburg, so the first day we signed up for an excursion to Moscow. I had lived there off and on for several years and I wanted my then-boyfriend to see Moscow, even if it was a whirlwind bus tour of the highlights. The excursion vendor chartered a Pulkovo Airlines IL-86 for the flights to and from Moscow. Imagine a couple hundred gay men, mostly Americans, packing a Soviet era airplane. As we descended into Moscow, the fog started rolling out of the vents. It was particularly thick because it was July and very hot outside. I had pointed it out to my boyfriend and a few seconds later, some queeny bear in daisy dukes and a muscle tank started screaming, "They are gassing us! I knew I shouldn't have come to Russia!!"

At our stop in Red Square, the bus tour guided gathered in a corner by GUM and were talking to each other. They were discussing the (general) physical fitness of the members of this group. There were six buses full of us. So I walked up to them and asked, in Russian, if I had time to duck into GUM and get an ice cream. They were surprised that I knew Russian, but told me yes. We returned with ice cream and stood near the tour guides. They kept glancing at me and my boyfriend until, finally, one of them screwed up the courage to ask me what, exactly, was the nature of our tour group. I asked what she meant, and she asked if we were a group of American athletes? Or bodybuilders? Or.... what, exactly? I still chuckle when I remember this excounter.

^ bus tour guides

It's all the same incident with a few names and places different here and there isn't it.

R126 Well, I’ll drink to Gert! Yes, we need those kinda gals.

r108 i've flown in and out of SFO at least a dozen times because i live in the Bay Area. I'm not some novice flyer; I've flown LOADS of times. This was the first time this had ever happened to me and it was scary to me and plenty of other passengers. The pilot apologized to us and said there was a mix-up at the Air Tower. And i have since read that SFO is quite notorious for these events.

I have another one - British Airways Milan to Heathrow. It seems there are a lot of British Airways stories on this thread that have similar stories; are their planes older than most? There was some severe WEATHER going on (lightening, thunder, turbulence) on approach and we circled for awhile until the pilot finally decided to go for it. The whole plane felt like it was going to shake apart and there were a lot of audible Italian cursing going on. When we finally landed, the entire plane exploded into applause that the pilot had made the landing without any problems. Never had that happen before!

r107 That was DL fave Shelley, AKA Shirley, Winters. 😁

I like the senior flight attendants. That cabin air has got to be hard on the skin (dry air, low humidity).

R136 - I’ve flown in and out of SFO more than a dozen times a year for the past twenty years. Missed approaches are no big deal to frequent flyers - just not to you.

I couldn't find the restroom!

...there WAS a lot of audible Italian cursing

r139 i don't know what your point is. i related this as one of the worst experiences *I'VE* had in my life in the over 75+ flights (or more) that i've been on. Bully for you that you've had this experience several times. A lot of us don't fly several times a month.

FFS, go away!

No worries R141 - whatever floats your boat!

Ever have your landing scrapped just a few feet from touching down? We were tree level! The pilot revved the engines and bolted back up into the air. He waited several minutes to explain why. I HATE when they decide to stay mute when weird shit happens. He finally comes over the speakers and lets us know that a rouge plane was crossing our runway. Visions of the Canary Islands disaster ran through my head.

r143 yes, see upthread. literally inches from the runway. same here.

^^ What, R43? The Canary Island queens need a whole plane to carry all their rouge? Surely it also held some lip gloss and eye shadow.

^ It also hold the titties and sequence gowns and platform eshoes

As a kid in the '70s, I was on a packed flight by myself and they stuck me in the smoking section! Phoenix to Chicago, so maybe 3 hours? It was horrible, I was so queasy by the time I got off. Hard to believe that that was even once a thing.

I flew from Athens, Greece to Chicago (I think... long time ago, 1980). I'd requested the non-smoking section. Just my luck, the smoking section started in the row behind me. There was a contingent of Greek friends traveling together that hung out most of the flight with the guys behind me and they all chain-smoked euro cigarettes.

It was like an airborne crematorium.

I cannot tell you how bizarre it seems to me that there were smoking sections on airplanes.

Within my lifetime too (born in 85) but I don't remember them at all.

I agree R149, it now seems so strange. I occasionally fly on planes with ashtrays. Now that is odd.

Beautiful fall day. I was on my way to vist my boyfriend in SFO. When about 20 minutes in . Well ya know the rest.

A shuttle cab made me almost late for my flight and they wouldn't let me carry on my luggage when I got there in the nick of time. Well my cell phone and keys were in my bag and my luggage ended up getting lost. I had to pay a taxi driver from the airport to take me to a Walmart to buy a burner phone just to call my dad at 4am in the morning to bring me the spare key - he lives an hour and a half away. I got stuck sitting on my doorstep for hours.

Why didn't you keep your cell phone and keys with you?

That time I said, "Let's roll!"

Frankfurt to Toronto 20+ years ago. Very unhealthy looking guy in the seat beside me, I'm guessing south asian, had clearly shit his pants, the smell was stomach churning. I begged the stewardess to move me - they finally got clearance say half way to Toronto from some higher up to move me to one of the cabin crew's seats at the very back of the plane. The smell was absolutely horrific, I literally had to hold an airline blanket over my nose. The entire cabin smelled like shit. He spoke no english whatsoever.

[R145], do you know that passengers on the Pan Am 747 literally sat in their seats awaiting emergency services whilst others were screaming at them to evacuate? I think it was something like 90 seconds post impact before the fuel in the wings ignited 'like an atom bomb', accd'g to Joni Feathers, who, along with her companion escaped with many bruises. Funnily enough, her PTSD was comparatively minor.

once on TWA, I was RAPED, I was WRONGED, I was even written a Bad Check!

On a flight from no to kc ,this handsome young man sat next to me. He was from TEXAS the entire flight he NONSTOPPED talked of TEXAS , i was glad when the flight ended .

I cringe when chatty people sit next to me.

I am that guy, R159. Sorry!

R158's story remind me of the flight from New York to Los Angeles 25 years ago where the guy in front of me had basically a nonstop business call on the air phone for 5 hours. He'd make a call to his secretary, and then be passed from person to person to person to person. Not long after he finally hung up he called the secretary back to start the cycle again.

R158 How can someone talk about Tex-ass for an entire flight? I drove across Texass once. It took an entire day but felt like an entire week of driving in a straight line through a dust farm.

Fort Lauderdale to Atlanta, first class. Seated next to this extremely loud, vulgar older man. He wouldn't shut up.

I kept trying to give him a hint by not looking up from my book, but he kept talking AT me.

I'd come to the final straw when he was talking about being on another plane and said, "We came closer than a CUNT hair to that other plane."

I slowly turned to him and said, "See this book? I'm very interested in it. Which makes it very different from anything you have to say."

Finally, he shut up.

To all the people that said they were seated next to someone that reeked of BO - - Have things changed whereby the crew will remove a passenger that smells terrible, provided people complain?

Well my daughter died on a flight so that was pretty bad. But I didn't want her to upstage me so I decided to die too.

r18 - That story reminded me of the time I took Royal Jordanian Airlines from Egypt to Jordan and en route all the local favourite dishes came out for the on board meal and what a stink that caused. I think it was heavy on the meat - mostly lamb - with lots of spices but it was just smelling this heavy spicy odour re-heated and passed around to hundreds of folks in a small sealed environment that made it all the more unsavoury. Hate to be unkind but it smelled like your office colleague's nasty dinner from the night before being re-heated for lunch in the lunchroom microwave and stinking up the entire office floor.

I would've loved that, R165!

I would have been in heaven for that meal R18!

The correct response to chatting types is "Fuck you I don't even know you."

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