Let's be a Bryan Singer pool party!!

I'm Seann William Scott.

I'm the faint scent of Clearasil.

I'm the foreskins that don't retract yet.

I stopped being invited 5 years ago.

I'm the answers to the DMV written test as promised on the invitation.

I'm Alex Burton's ass, sore from the pounding I took so that he could get a tiny cameo in the first X-Men movie and then be discarded. At 19 I was firm and supple - at 40 I'll have trouble giving it away.

I'm Nicholas Hoult and I certainly never attended one of these, and definitely don't still have the complimentary speedo to prove it.

R7 Hoult was 24 when Singer directed him - so a bit old for his tastes.

I'm the tray of jello shots laced with enough muscle relaxant to take down an elephant.

r8 I mean Ben Hardy was about 25 when Singer cast him in X-Men and I don't doubt something happened there. Plus look at him. He fits right in on twink airways.

I'm the Jansport backpacks left at the check-in filled with HS textbooks.

I'm Kevin Spacey going in for a dive in the deep end.

R1 Did Singer help you reenact the prostate milking scene from Road Trip?

We are going be extras!!

I'm the overwhelming scent of Axe Body Spray.

I'm the WeHo-wannabe 17-year-old queen reading everything I can about Bryan Singer fantasizing about going to a Hollywood blockbuster, having fun, partying, engaging in consensual sex and praying for an invite to one of Singer's parties. AND I FEEL TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT ALL OF THAT....

I'm Timothee Chalamet, giving it a pass and therefore losing the role of Cyclops to Tye Sheridan, the little hussy

I'm Brock Pierce. I am here but I am too busy planning my next scheme to...wow...damn!!

“I thought there will be girls here!”

[quote] We are going be extras!!

Atmosphere players!

I'm the "No grass on the infield" admission requirement.

[quote] I'm the "No grass on the infield" admission requirement.

I’m the “Cannot ride if taller than this line” sign.

My mom says I have to wait two hours before going back in after eating...

I'm the FBI busting it.

Overheard:

"I'm 14 but look older!"

"I'm 16 but look younger!"

"Ok, but this is my swim team speedo, so if I take it off...

R17 Singer plumbed the depths of Tye's "talent" - up past the wrist.

Tonight in the screening room…..

Also overheard:

"He's 17 and wasn't invited."

"I'm going to need some more 'motivation'."

r30 "Here they were giving out these Blue pills. And something they call vitamin K at the door."

"Oh, no, I forgot to do my algebra homework!"

I'm Kevin Spacey, here for Bryan's castoffs

I'm all that 2000-era Aeropostale clothes and puka shell necklaces.

"Think of this as your bar mitzvah, you're becoming a man. Just without presents... unless you want this box of flavored condoms?"

I'm the pile of confiscated cell phones.

I'm the food appropriate for the crowd -- Hot Pockets and stacks of In N Out.

I'm the large bottle of lube disguised as hand sanitizer.

I'm Bryan's loud moans and grunts

I'm the bouncer carding the guests at the door.

KIDDING!

I'm Sir Ian McKellen. Which little hobbit wants to help me find my wand?

I'm Clive Davis, sitting in the corner jacking off under a caftan and planning a brunch.

I'm Hugh Jackman. I'm totally heterosexual. I'm only here to talk business with Bryan, I swear!

Has anyone seen my butt cherry - I know I had it when I got here.

I'm Pete Townshend. I am only here doing research.

[quote]Let's be a Bryan Singer pool party!!

No thank you, officer.

I'm the stinky sneakers and feet.

I am Bryan's baby mama Michelle Clunie, holding my baby very tightly while declaring "Ghislaine Maxwell? I've never, ever heard that name... I don't know who that is and I've never procured underaged boys to anyone!".

I'm Dustin Lance Black. I didn't bring my husband because he's too old for me now.

I'm the Playstation console on the glass table in the entertainment lounge, next to the lines of coke.

I'm the drawstring swimming trunks that also have a zipper in the back - for some reason.

I'm Jaxxon and Jaden, fighting for the position of #1 boy in Bryan's harem

I forgot.. is BS a top or bottom?

^ forget

I'm Chance. That's the new name Mr. Singer gave me yesterday.

He told me this party was the start of my great adventure and that after tonight I'd never feel the same again.

He's really nice. My aunt here said it would take years to get a start in the business and finish high school. But look how fast it's happening!

He said he had a part for me to hear about and take in but not to tell anyone yet! But I had to tell you.

I'm the KY lube all over the inflatable pool toys

I'm the tear-stained rejection letters from Big Brothers Big Sisters of America

I'm just here for the food. Seriously. I wrapped some food in a napkin and now I want to get out of here. Is there a way out through those hedges?

I'm Kyle.

I'm here to bottom because Bryan got me a job at Helix.

Which I can take in several years when I'm legal.

He loves getting topped by sophomores R53!

I'm Deborra Lee Furness, here to drag Hugh home! Those teen hussies need to stay away from him!

I'm all the skateboards.

I'm the poor maid, Maria, cleaning up this mess the next morning.

I'm Bryan, threatening to send Maria back to El Salvador if she breathes a word of what happened at the party!

I'm Maria nodding and spraying some Febreze on a passed-out twink.

I'm the chest freezer full of pizza pockets and bottles of GHB.

I'm the recently dropped balls.

I'm Keith and have I got news for you....................................

I'm the cold dead body of Brad Renfro.

Please don't forget me and what Hollywood did to me.

I’m the twinks who got hired to act interested in the uglier old men in attendance.

I am Spacey.

I'm Datalounge clutching its pearls.

I’m the ambitious 17 year old Nairing my pubes, armpits, and chest to appear more like one of Bryan’s fantasy bois.

I'm the ghosts of all the boys buried under the gardener's shed.

I'm Marc Collins-Rector's bad wig, about the clog the pool's drain.

I'm rape.

I’m the phrase “what’s that weird smell” thought by 95% of the inexperienced crowd as the scent of poppers wafts around a bit.

Overheard: "Hey, isn't that the dad from American Beauty?"

And "Hey, it's Gandalf and Wolverine!"

I'm Michelle Clunie. I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see...

Okay, everybody stop what you’re doing. STOP, right NOW!!!

Brendan has lost his retainer, and his mom will KILL him if he comes home without it. Can everyone please help look? He thinks he took it out after he was given that open can of Coke, but then frankly he says he got real dizzy and he doesn’t remember the next six hours…

There's more peach fuzz here than a Georgia orchard.

I wonder if Ben Hardy went to one of these or if his interactions with Bryan Singer were more private and intimate?

I'm the pubescent voices cracking.

I'm the taking of the selfie while standing behind two twinks, "presenting them" to the camera.

I'm the gardener trying to avoid stepping in the still-sticky cum that covering the entire lawn the next morning.

I'm Noah Galvin with a grovelling apology for speaking the truth

I'm Noah Galvin's stretched out hole after attending one of these parties.

I'm the clueless mom from Tarzan in an SUV dropping my son off because he's too young to drive. Pool party with some wholesome role-model men sounds pretty darn great to me! 10 PM sounds kinda late for a party to start though.

I'm the 23 year old Laotian girl mistaken for a pre-pubescent boy. But I'm game.

I'm Elliot Page waiting for an invite.

R91 Keep waiting, toots. This is a mandatory full frontal nude party

R65 I'm Maria's teen son Raul, in agony from her screams when she finds me nude and sticky near the poolhouse.

I'm JC Chasez, my manager brought me here.

I’m the juice boxes lined up on the one table by the pool.

I am the poor teen queen ingenue, brought to the party by a young, dumb straight boy. I do not understand why none of the guys at this party have even looked at me, let alone offered me a drink!

Wait... is that a thing R3? That the foreskins on uncut cocks on start to retract at puberty?

phimosis is a thing.

I'm the comforting Avengers-themed sleeping bags for when the boys awake from their roofie-induced stupor.

100!

R100 - Is one 100 the maximum or minimum number of months a guest must be to attend?

I'm Ben Platt, looking for someone to pump up my non-existent career.

I'm Aaron Carter, feeling like I'm about to die from the amount of makeup they've hosed onto me to try and make me look young and fresh.

I'm Chris Mears, being directed by the host in a scene with Liam Riley

I'm Tom Daley, fapping furiously as I watch Chris and Liam going at it and hiding from my aging uptight husband.

I'm the pile of Underoos Bryan keeps in the spare room.

R106 Next to the Scout uniforms.

I'm the dead 11 year old twink discovered the morning after. My slim, hairless 70 lb body was discovered at the bottom of the pool. I certainly regret sticking my butthole on the pool drain. I was trying to clean it out after Bryan and his buddies had their way with me.

I'm the English-Korean dictionary thrown in the trash after Singer realized how old the guys in BTS actually are.

R108 It was a "Final Destination" pool party all along.

I'm DL fav Dylan G actually trying to defend Bryan Singer and calling him a good friend

... and I'm the underage looking boyfriend Dylan brings along to the party, explaining why Dylan and Bryan are good friends

N..nnno, Mr. Singer. I don't shave. No, Sir. I don't need to shave. I bumped my cheek and scratched it. I can still go tonight, can't I? Please?

I'm the cops.

I just came by to make sure everything is OK, Sir. We got a report from some of your neighbors, so you should probably take the boys into the basement before you...well, have a good night, Sir.

R93: ¡Querido Señor en el Cielo!

Rafel, would you please ask Mr. Singer where Billy is? He went up to the big house last night and he's not back. And his stuff was gone this morning.

I'm the TigerHeat bouncers counting the cash in exchange for not checking IDs

I'm the leftover exotic animals from Neverland Ranch

I'm the massive off-shores bank account used to "calm down" irate parents.

I’m the Mini wireless camera disguised as a puka shell. This place is pure gold!

I'm Brayden.

What does "fresh meat" mean?

I'm the stopwatch used to measure the life span of a twink

I'm the pool guy, called out every Monday to clear the cum from the pool filter. On the plus side, no hair in there.

I'm visiting So Cal from the Mid West, staying at my relatives home, next-door to BS house.

Told to stay far, away from this celeb. Crazy rumors of multiple deaths of young teen boys.

[quote]I'm Alex Burton's ass, sore from the pounding I took so that he could get a tiny cameo in the first X-Men movie and then be discarded. At 19 I was firm and supple - at 40 I'll have trouble giving it away.

You were discarded because Aaron Stanford didn't need to blow Singer.

I'm the résumé with nothing on it but a couple of commercials.

I'm R113 being escorted by security out after Bryan had a meltdown over the razor burn on my right ass cheek. As I'm doing my walk of shame past the main pool area, the other twinks look me up and down, giggle and smugly stroke their oiled up, impeccably waxed (not shaved!) ass cheeks. One cunt mouthes 'amateur!' at me.

R127 I'm the van that you get taken to by security to be "taken home" - the one with restraints. Your day is about to get even worse, shaver.

R125 Nope, he'd learned to just get on his knees and hold his mouth open by the time Singer met him.

I'm the trio of older movie and tv executives, taking a break from the carnage and reminiscing about all the boy actors we fucked over the years.

Please don't mock Mr. Singer's pool parties

I got this cool video after I went to one!

My video

I'm the basket of Cialis by the pool.

I'm United States Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC). I've heard rumors about the illegalities ongoing at these parties, and in my capacity as a member of...one of them committees I'm on, I'm here to investigate!

Hi, I'm HIV! No one invited me, but I came anyway!

I'm the Instagram/TikTok/social media and cellphone addiction of later twinks that will make these pool parties impossible after the early '00s.

I'm Rick, aka "Thick" Rick, the guy Singer sends the mouthy "actors" to.

I'm Barron Trump's private invitation.

No means no.

Unless....

I'm the Adoption Booth behind a velvet rope next to the pool, providing safe, legal, no questions asked adoptions at a reduced rate. I'm here for the special relationships that can often form at these parties.

I'm the "no swimsuits necessary" sign.

I’m the active and lively Pokémon card trade market. Mr. Singer includes a new unopened pack in every gift bag!

I'm Corey Feldman.

I'm not invited because I'm already 50 years old.

R143 You're 35 years too old, my dear!

I'm the "no swimsuits allowed" sign.

I'm the fecal matter floating in the pool the next morning.

R138, Barron: you go with nice man to pool party. Do vat he says!

R144 He'd have bag over his head even at 15.

I'm the crystal bowl filled with condoms, sitting all alone and ignored.

I'm the spinning instructor - no bike in sight.

I'm the ZERO asshairs in sight!

I'm the suspiciously stained couch in the pool house.

I'm the roofies disguised as Flintstone vitamins. Wilma packs a wallop!

Just how perma is permacum anyway?

I'm the five combined chest hairs in the pool.

I'm Michael Jackson offering a free concert.

I'm the increasingly-worried Chuck-E-Cheese party worker.

I’m the bike rack in the parking lot.

I'm the pre-algebra homework.

I'm sex with the barely conscious.

Miss Singer would've hoovered Peter Brady's cock to completion.

I'm Ian McKellen playing "Let's All Find The Ring In The Poolhouse" with the pizza delivery boys.

I'm Greg Brady, trying to get Bobby outta here. Sorry, Peter, you're on your own.

I'm the District Attorney's investigation 12 years later!

'Honey, why did only Jadyn get an invite to Mr. Singer's party tonight?'

I'm the sore underage butt hole that can't remember anything from the night before.

I'm the slightly more seasoned teen, reassuring the other boys that "it's tiny".

Good one R166. Hasn't been mentioned it.

I'm Shawn Roberts, cringing whenever I remember being at the party when I was 15.

I'm the casting couch in Ms. Singer's bedroom.

I'm the extra bottle of Chlorine to kill all the DNA evidence in the pool!

I'm Bryan dressed as a priest!

I'm the Spanish Inquisition-themed play room where the boys dry off.

I’m the lesbian hardcore porn playing on the tv screens.

I'm the first sprouts of pubic hair.

R174 found a wrong thread

'I'm 24 but I swear I look 14!"

I’m the ProActiv 3 Step Treatment products in the guest goodie bags

I am the big black thug who will drop the soap in the prison shower

I’m the creepy guy who used to go around weho recruiting guys to party with a “star soccer player” and the creator of some shitty tvs shows.

I'm the annual Christmas party; sponsored by the local Archdiocese.

Services are held in every blessed room of the house!

I'm the host of the Christmas party!

I'm the closet filled with Cub Scout uniforms.

I'm the roomful of Molestation Dolls that the police will use to find out where the kids were touched.

I'm all the STD's being passed around.

[quote] He loves getting topped by sophomores [R53]!

Does he really?

I'm the Underoos

I'm the imaginary movie role that no one is going to get.

I'm the dingaling twink who didn't know you're supposed to let the water out after douching. Bruce Willis doesn't like me anymore all of a sudden. 😔

[quote] I'm the imaginary movie role that no one is going to get.

I'm the real porn movie no one is realizing they're making.

Daniel Craig: Noice shindig, innit mate?

Skyler: Like, are you from France?

R191 I'm Skyler's fake ID, which fools no one.

I'm the 250 mops used to clean up the baby gravy.

I'm the surprise place where the shish-kabob have been kept warm.

They call Singer the Countess because he likes to bathe in the cum of young male virgins.

R195, you mean the urine of young male virgins

I'm Corbin Fisher's Connor's residuals check

R196 No, he likes to shower in that.

I'm Kevin Spacey and Singer getting into a slapfight over a hunk of 14 year old meat.

I’m the guy who delivers the needle-pricked condoms.

I’m the director of the virgin’s “Welcome to the pleasures of anal sex!” A 10 minute course, which ends with a device delivering lube to said virgin’s asses.

I'm Singer's alternative version of "Boys Beware," which details the perils of pussy and heterosexual sex.

I am the security guard checking IDs to make sure no one under 18 gets in. Hahaha. Just kidding. I am a fifteen year old boy.

I'm Singer's personal attorney on speed dial.

I am Ilan Mitchell Smith in Weird Science. Thank God neither me nor my adorable frisky twink castmates had to put up with this degradation back in the day.

What, you want me to wear Kelly's bikini underwear in this scene, John?

Sure.

OP is the founder of N A M B L A. Disgusting.

I'm the suspicious mounds of freshly-dug earth behind the guest house.

[quote] I'm the suspicious mounds of freshly-dug earth behind the guest house.

I’m the suspicious mounds of freshly-shaved pubes behind the bathroom door.

R205 Singer would have thrown out a hip banging that fresh meat.

I’m Marc and Lori, and wonder why we never get invited. What’s he trying to hide? Is he ashamed of his family? They’re the talk of H’wood. Plus, since our careers have gone nowhere, you’d think he’d throw us a few roles from time to time.

I'm the psychotropic medication the boys will need years later when they suffer from "false memory recall" after a failed or short-lived acting career.

I am Halle Berry, getting my ass kissed.

R210 Marc is on Bryan's shit list ever since he refused to introduce Bryan to young Billy Jacoby during the production of "Beastmaster".

This is such a twisted, irresponsible thread to post! Where is the decency? Where is the compassion? Where the hell did I put my fourth martini? Oops, I just broke my strand of pearls. Pulled it too tight.

Damn you, Datalounge! Nothing is sacred!

How can an 11 year old be so fat?? What does this little porker eat?

Wrong thread, haha

r215 Overheard at Singer's pool party.

R216 And yet amazingly appropriate for this thread!

I'm the look of sheer joy on Singer's face as the Trick-o-treaters show up.

I'm all of the broken curfews.

I'm the "looking for the next Brad Renfro" agency ads.

I'm the unfound answer to the Google search "prolapse defined" because children can't spell prolapse.

I’m the Fisher-Price pool table.

I'm the spiked punch.

I'm the Cyclops visor that Singer wears when he's "singing new talent".

^Signing new talent

i went to one. Catered. Food was standard fun stuff like hot dogs, french fries, etc but I noticed every 45 mins or so they'd take the old food off the steam trays and bring out fresh trays. Which is what good hosts should do. I hate going to parties where people set up everything and then nobody cleans up or adds fresh food / takes away empty dishes etc.

r227 You went to a Bryan Singer party and all you can talk about is the food??

R227 - The only thing Bryan Singer hates more than adolescent pubes is a cold, dry wiener!

[quote] i went to one. Catered. Food was standard fun stuff like hot dogs, french fries, etc but I noticed every 45 mins or so they'd take the old food off the steam trays and bring out fresh trays. Which is what good hosts should do.

Oh honey, no. It was that the roofies have a short shelf life.

[quote] You went to a Bryan Singer party and all you can talk about is the food??

R227 was a chubby 38 year old hubby dropping off his starry-eyed 10 year old son. He was supposed to leave immediately, but couldn't resist the endless free food.

I'm the child star who thinks Bryan's parties are for poor wannabes and prefers Neverland Ranch

I'm the bag that gets put over Corey Feldman's head before anyone is willing to fuck his ass, at any age.

I'm one of the hot black guys that most of these white guys can say they've tried it. Thanks Hollyweird!

I'm a set of baby nipple clamps.

I'm the big pink man pussy that is Bryan Singer's hole - JUMP IN BOYS

R236 I'm "Thick" Rick, the security guy that Singer neglected to pay, pushing past the line of confused teens and bottoming out the first time.

i think you people would be sorely disappointed. Im the one who actually went to one. ID check at the gate, nobody under 21 as far as I knew (im older so no idea whether the age limit was 18 or 21), open bars with bartenders but no open drug use or sex. doesn't mean things didn't happen after with a smaller group inside the house, which i have no idea about, but the party itself was mundane fun.

R238 was clearly not pretty enough to get into the actual party.

R239 - Pretty enough to make it to the after party tho!

R239 - How did you ever fit all those guests inside your head? I'm picturing a scene from "Being John Malkovich".

r239 You're the living embodiment of what's wrong with Datalounge. It's a gossip site. I shared an actual real world experience with details and instead of asking more questions, your first reaction was to insult me. I can't tell if r241 is responding to me or you.

I was once a kid who wanted all the details about celebrities and hollywood, so I'll likely keep responding when I have information or experiences to share.

Why were you at a party thrown by a known pervert?

R242 For your reference. Grow up, please.

[quote] You're the living embodiment of what's wrong with Datalounge.

Actually that would be you, R242. You sound like a fragile snowflake who not only lacks a sense of humor but, worse, feels compelled to tell everyone how wounded and sensitive he is as if anyone cared. I picture you like that fat creepy guy in another thread streaming on tik tok crying how a hottie rejected him at the bar. Honey, it's partly a gossip site, but "pointless bitchery" is the blood flowing through it's veins. Get a grip, man up, and stop being such a crybaby. Nobody wants to deal with that shit.

Think about the CHILDREN!!!

R246 Of course - it is a Bryan Singer pool party after all.

Curious - Tom Holland didn't get invited, but Peter Parker did.

River was a frequent guest.

I'm the Hors d'Oeuvres - also known as lunchables.

[quote] I'm rape.

Yeah, but I’m rape rape. The real kind.

I'm the Spongebob sex sling

Back my heyday - I'd loved these sort of parties.

I'm the future Transsexual (nobody like me)

I'm Jaden Smith still trying to hurt mommy and daddy

I'm the flyer for the "Toy Soldiers remake" casting call.

I'm the rubber duckies in the pool

I'm the Sourpatch Kids shaped tranquilizers.

I'm the large bowl of fruit-flavored Ambien.

I'm the Capri Sun pouches filled with vodka!

I'm wanting MORE!

r243 Because you have to "hustle" in Hollywood if you want to make it! What a stoopid question!

I'm Hugh Jackman. No, I am not gay (really, I am not!). But Bryan's a good friend, and he likes me to be around, so he can impress some of his new friends who look like toddlers to me, but who am I to judge? I'm a team player. Now, If you excuse me, this handsome lad just asked me for a private tour. No, it's not my house, but it would be rude to say no, right?

R262 You were a pro before you ever met Singer.

R263 Don't know why I wasn't invited. Come over to mine after you're finished there.

R264 don't quit your day job, buddy. That was some of the lamest writing I've heard on here.

I'm razor burn left from eliminating my body hair to gain admittance to the party.

I'm the drinks served in sippy cups.

R266 And yet you surpassed it. Away, twit.

I'm Blake Stuerman's hole!

R270 Don't mind if I do.

I'm Stephen Fry, begging to be let in.

I'm Taron Egerton, waving nervously at Stephen Fry and wondering where the fuck Hugh is.

I'm all the wondering about who Stephen Fry is

Oh, I'll introduce myself, lads!

I'm the 25 Blake lookalikes waiting in the gardener's shed.

[quote] I'm the 25 Blake lookalikes waiting in the gardener's shed.

Where the hoes belong.

I’m the “sloorp” sound the twink asses make as they swallow two dicks at once.

I'm the relief that most of the twinks feel when they realize how small the cocks are.

I'm the many "It's past your curfew. Are you at your little friend Bryan's house again!" texts from my mom.

I'm the abrupt loss of relief most of the twinks feel when they see Hugh taking out Wolveream.

I’m the underdeveloped virginal little twink standing by the pool in my pink day-glo thong just desperate to be in one of Bryan’s movies. Can he see me? I’m 12 tomorrow.

I'm the film school intern who gets a robe on R282 and gets him the fuck out of there before the cops (who I called) arrive, because souls are a thing.

I’m the elderly neighbour filing a report about a clandestine Hitler Youth convention going on next door.

I'm the nude entertainment from the local boy scout troup.

I'm the Kevin Spacey Halloween masks.

I'm not a pubic hair in sight.

I'm the PG-13 movie only Singer is old enough to watch.

I'm the non-disclosure agreements Bryan has his entire staff sign before every party.

I'm 12 and I look emaciated.

Can I come to the party, Mr. Bryan?