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Have you ever been turned off because someone was “too gay”?

Some people think this is problematic but has someone being *obviously* gay ever turned you off?

by Anonymousreply 152October 3, 2021 12:55 PM

Charles Nelson Reilly

by Anonymousreply 1September 13, 2021 11:33 PM

I would never have been turned on in the first place if someone opens their mouth and a purse falls out. I'm gay, thus the "being into men and not women" thing.

by Anonymousreply 2September 13, 2021 11:35 PM

The same way I'm turned off by bad theater

by Anonymousreply 3September 13, 2021 11:35 PM

It’s why I stopped masturbating.

by Anonymousreply 4September 13, 2021 11:37 PM

I was set up on a date with someone once. After the date the friend who set us up asked if we would be going out again. And when I said no, he said," It's the voice isn't it?"

It was.

by Anonymousreply 5September 13, 2021 11:40 PM

I haven't been turned off by a voice, but I have been turned off by the personality type who walks into any place and thinks they're the life of the party. Always loud and a bit entitled. It's like they're always drunk or on coke or something. They think they're blazingly funny and think they're on Drag Race, but they're usually either just recycling old jokes from drag queens or saying horrible things just to shock and don't have the timing of a Joan Rivers to pull it off.

by Anonymousreply 6September 13, 2021 11:43 PM

Oh, I love a slender young man who teases and bats those big blue eyes.

by Anonymousreply 7September 13, 2021 11:47 PM

Can’t take a real fem guy. Sorry.

by Anonymousreply 8September 13, 2021 11:49 PM

Very underrated comment, R4.

That was fucking hilarious!


by Anonymousreply 9September 13, 2021 11:53 PM

No, lol.

by Anonymousreply 10September 13, 2021 11:54 PM

Not until I read your post, OP.

by Anonymousreply 11September 13, 2021 11:56 PM

I am very much attracted to dudes based on voice. No matter what a dude looks like, or how nice he is to me, I cannot be attracted to him if he sounds effeminate or nonmasculine. This is why I like to talk on the phone to prospective dates from Dating apps. Likewise, I am never attracted to guys that carry themselves in an effeminate manner.

by Anonymousreply 12September 14, 2021 12:55 AM

Billy Porter


by Anonymousreply 13September 14, 2021 12:57 AM

OP, don't confuse/conflate being "too gay" with being "too effeminate". The pinnacle of being a gay man isn't turning into a woman.

by Anonymousreply 14September 14, 2021 1:11 AM

I've dated a couple of fem guys and had no issue with that aspect of their personality. I've only ever stopped seeing someone for being "too gay" because they centered their entire existence around being gay. Some examples:

Our first date we went to a bar to watch Queer As Folk (dating myself there).

He had a bar schedule hanging in his house so he could make sure he knew which gay bars had what specials on any given night.

Super active in the drag community.

Would look at me like I was an alien if I tried to talk about something that wasn't specifically gay related.

He was a flight attendant.

If he didn't have a big dick I don't think I would have even bothered. But it was huge and I was a size queen when I was younger.

by Anonymousreply 15September 14, 2021 1:39 AM

No, I like em like that. Gay voice turns me on

by Anonymousreply 16September 14, 2021 1:41 AM

Done a LOT of theatre. Many gays (particularly the young lads) felt like it was their duty, to be "on" (as effeminate as possible) all the time. Fucking tedious, pretty annoying at times, and unnecessary as far as I was concerned, but I guess - for them? It was about establishing an identity, in a decidedly non-judgemental environment, I guess?

by Anonymousreply 17September 14, 2021 1:55 AM

Yes. Every single one of you.

by Anonymousreply 18September 14, 2021 1:57 AM

Gay Face is even worse than Gay Voice. At least with the voice there MIGHT some moments they’re quiet. The face you’re stuck with all the time.

by Anonymousreply 19September 14, 2021 1:59 AM

Enough cologne to kill a small animal at 25 feet. And he wondered why I persistently wanted nothing to do with him.

by Anonymousreply 20September 14, 2021 2:00 AM

Every day.

by Anonymousreply 21September 14, 2021 2:00 AM

A straight woman set me up on blind date, I have no idea why she thought I'd like him. Between the sibilant s's and talking with his hands, I couldn't get out of the restaurant fast enough, When she asked how it went I told her "I like men, not screaming queens."

by Anonymousreply 22September 14, 2021 2:11 AM

R12, I feel the same about women and voices . True dyke voice is a major turn off

by Anonymousreply 23September 14, 2021 2:24 AM

Much too often.

by Anonymousreply 24September 14, 2021 2:30 AM


by Anonymousreply 25September 14, 2021 2:32 AM


by Anonymousreply 26September 14, 2021 2:34 AM

"Super active in the drag community."

Ew, red flag. It's okay for pride parades and emceeing, but not total immersion. At some point you wonder if he wants to be up there in the spotlight.

by Anonymousreply 27September 14, 2021 2:52 AM

I'm with r3. It's unbearable when it's theater, or just fake bullshit. I don't have an issue with guys being fem or "obvious" or whatever, but when they are just playing a role or being "on" all the time why would I put up with that?

by Anonymousreply 28September 14, 2021 4:45 AM

“I’m mask for mask bro. I don’t want a scene!” 🤡

by Anonymousreply 29September 14, 2021 5:29 AM

I've never been turned off by someone who was too fem but I've definitely been turned off by guys who clearly aren't comfortable being gay. For me, that's harder to be around than someone with a silly voice and flamboyant mannerisms.

by Anonymousreply 30September 14, 2021 5:35 AM

I don't think women understand.

by Anonymousreply 31September 14, 2021 5:51 AM

"obvious" isn't quite the same as "too." Yes, someone who was "too" gay has turned me off.

by Anonymousreply 32September 14, 2021 5:54 AM

Milo Y

just horrible

by Anonymousreply 33September 14, 2021 5:55 AM

R30 can you be more specific?

by Anonymousreply 34September 14, 2021 7:17 AM

Maybe it is you who is disgusting to the world of men.

by Anonymousreply 35September 14, 2021 7:42 AM

Gay guys who are full-on extroverts and talk a mile/minute are too much. But so are women like that, as well as straight men.

Some personalities are too strong for my tastes regardless of their sex or sexuality.

When I was younger, I used to single out gay guys only for this, because I was self-loathing. But then I matured.

Good luck OP.

by Anonymousreply 36September 14, 2021 7:45 AM

R23, I've been sitting here for a while, trying to imagine what a 'true dyke voice' is and am at loss. Could you elaborate or give an example, please?

by Anonymousreply 37September 14, 2021 7:55 AM

I was dating this guy, i liked him, he was hot, but he got too much for me. He carried a handbag and a woman's purse! Face full of makeup, tight leather pants....but he looked the most beautiful when he was makeup free in shorts and t shirt with wind blown hair at the beach....unfortunately that was the only time i wasn't embarrassed to be seen with him in public. Beautiful body though. Sad. I guess that's who he was though.

by Anonymousreply 38September 14, 2021 8:01 AM

Rarely have much in common with the type of femme guys who are big fans of Housewife shows and RuPaul.

Ditto guys whose life revolves around being gay. Gay bars, restaurants, social groups, circuit parties, vacation spots, etc. The only heterosexuals they know are people they're related to or work with.

by Anonymousreply 39September 14, 2021 8:09 AM

There are degrees of effeminacy.

1. Hinty. You can tell he's not straight but he's not blatant. Ex, Elton John. ACCEPTABLE. 2. Comfortable with his femininity. Doesn't make an effort to hide his gayness and people like him for it. Think Graham Norton. LOVELY. 3. Expansive. Dresses and walks like a power woman with flair and uses words straight men would never use, like "adorable!" David the HGTV decorator turned real estate person. I'D STILL DATE HIM. 4. Superfag. Borderline trans, wears skirts and women's purses and jewelry, make up and stilettos. Yes, you, Billy Porter. STAY AWAY FROM ME!

by Anonymousreply 40September 14, 2021 8:20 AM

R40 Get a better example than Elton Fucking John for the least effeminate please.

by Anonymousreply 41September 14, 2021 8:38 AM

I mean, even Matt Boemer reads effeminate.

At the very least, he’s soft. He is interchangeable in that he can be mistaken for straight by many.

There’s a pool of effeminate guys at that level who can be either straight or gay.

by Anonymousreply 42September 14, 2021 8:46 AM

And lest us not forget the muscle Mary’s.

by Anonymousreply 43September 14, 2021 8:47 AM

I used to work with a man who was in his sixties. He dressed conventionally and smartly, but he had Carol Channing hair and thick false eyelashes. His makeup looked like it was applied with a trowel. He was a lovely man and was very well though of at work. I couldn’t imagine who could go for such an extreme appearance, but he had a long term partner.

by Anonymousreply 44September 14, 2021 8:54 AM

R30, yeah really closeted and paranoid about being outed is not a winning combo for me neither. I

'll take a swishing mincing out and proud queen complete with eyeliner and nail polish over that bullshit any day

by Anonymousreply 45September 14, 2021 9:50 AM

There is no such thing as "too gay" OP. You are confusing and conflating the term "too gay" with extremely feminine gay men. Femininity and homosexuality/being gay are not linked. You are either gay or not, you are either a masculine gay man or a feminine gay man, and feminine gay men are often referred to as "too gay"; despite the fact this has NOTHING to do with being gay or homosexuality. Why are so many of you extremely low intellect not to understand that?! FFS.

by Anonymousreply 46September 14, 2021 10:23 AM

No fatties. No fems.

by Anonymousreply 47September 14, 2021 10:29 AM

R40. Lil Nas X falls into your group 4, no?

He’s too young for me, but if I was in my 20s, I’d totally date him no question.

by Anonymousreply 48September 14, 2021 11:02 AM

Yes, in the same way that I might be put off by a straight man whose every outward expression is an ignorant and proud of it heterosexual whose talk never strays from tits and beer and NASCAR and reinforcing his sense of machismo.

Or in the same way that I might be put off by anyone who is a complete living stereotype of one sort or another: the always rushing somewhere soccer mom; the comic convention nerd who can talk of nothing else and purposely dresses and acts the part; the swaggering stock broker with the inflated sense of self importance and inferiority of all others; the academic with sup on his tie and dirty eyeglasses who can't eat or drink or see anything without presenting the cultural background fo some foodway or class signaling or some mini-lecture.

People who are too very one-dimensionally one postured thing I tend to dismiss. It's not that someone is obviously gay or obviously straight or obviously a busy mom or obviously geeky and likes fantasy entertainment that's off-putting, it's when that outer shell is so thoroughly developed that you could spend an hour with the person and never get a glimpse of anything beyond what's on the surface, no self-awareness, no reflection, no interest in engaging with anything outside a cultivated exterior image.

by Anonymousreply 49September 14, 2021 11:03 AM

Boris DeJure Cinesnatch has set a record for posting 43/45 posts in this thread.

by Anonymousreply 50September 14, 2021 12:35 PM

R46 I’m really tired of people acting like they don’t understand how the English language works. I put “too gay” in quotes specifically because it’s not a real thing. Most people understand what I mean by that phrase and they have probably used if not thought it.

I will say “too effeminate” is less exact than “too gay” because I think there’s a general stereotype that gay men are effete. Gay men know there’s a difference between being masc and a Queen and I think we’ve all known one of each. The point is they’re still gay men, some just overly emphasize the gay part.

by Anonymousreply 51September 14, 2021 1:06 PM

I like femmy guys but I'm extremely turned off by gay voice. Something like the blond guy in the video. That and the extreme vapidness that some guys conflate with gay culture are turnoffs, not effeminacy.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 52September 14, 2021 1:46 PM

“Have you ever been turned off because someone was too gay?”

Every. Single. Day.

by Anonymousreply 53September 14, 2021 1:49 PM

R30 sure. I was responding to an NSA sex ad many years ago. The guy was so scared of being outed that he wanted me to put on a blindfold before he walked into my house so I wouldn't know what he looked like. That type of shit is more off-putting than being fem, imo.

by Anonymousreply 54September 14, 2021 1:57 PM

^I mean r34

by Anonymousreply 55September 14, 2021 1:58 PM

Every time this question comes up, I think of this disco queen who lived in my building 30 years ago. He was on the first floor, so everyone could hear the shitaceous music coming out of his apartment as we entered or left the building, got our mail, waited for the elevator. He dressed in the latest gay style, which at that moment was the hiking boot / sock / short / shirt optional look. He was just trashy—especially playing his music so loud—and before a year was up, he left. One imagined he was evicted.

by Anonymousreply 56September 14, 2021 2:14 PM

I don't understand men who wear makeup or who paint their nails or who want to wear dresses. I don't understand the whole "yass queen" thing or shaking your butt like a girl. It makes zero sense to me and I think it's stupid.

However, at the same time, I also have to admit that feeling that way is my own personal damage and I have no right to tell anyone else how to be gay or how they should act. Everyone needs to be gay in their own way - not my way.

I also have to admit that I'm GenX and I don't understand showy displays of any kind that bring attention to yourself - gay or otherwise. And, also, we had to walk a very fine line with our gayness when we were young in ways these Gen Z kids do not so there is a little bit of generation gap at work here.

On the flip side of that, I do love an old queen. Those boomers who went through it, survived AIDS , and live in fun apartments in the city and who have a story for everything. They're a good time and have great hearts.

by Anonymousreply 57September 14, 2021 2:25 PM

Dunno R52 -- there are far more extremes of gay voice than the blonde guy in the video. I mean he definitely has gay voice, but he's not overly dramatic or overly "It's just GHASTLY" types so it bothers me less.

by Anonymousreply 58September 14, 2021 2:47 PM

I started to watch E! Met Red Carpet yesterday. The 3 host guys were so fem, I turned it off. Like steam escaping a radiator.

by Anonymousreply 59September 14, 2021 2:54 PM

I believe this meets the criteria of “too feminine“.

I cannot stand it if a man has waxed or plucked eyebrows. That is an instant turn off.

Only poor hygiene is worse.

by Anonymousreply 60September 15, 2021 11:03 PM


by Anonymousreply 61September 15, 2021 11:04 PM

R60 Not too fussed about mannerisms, etc, if they are organic to that person and not some kind of hysterical affect. But the eyebrows, waxed, plucked, arched; no man's looks are *ever* improved by this. Ditto bleached tips, come to think of it.

by Anonymousreply 62September 15, 2021 11:18 PM

^What about anal bleaching? Too fem?

by Anonymousreply 63September 15, 2021 11:23 PM

I'm turned off by too much concern about what people think.

by Anonymousreply 64September 15, 2021 11:39 PM

What about asshole bleaching? I don’t know if that’s fem or masculine.

by Anonymousreply 65September 15, 2021 11:40 PM

R52 that guy has a bit of gay voice, but not that much. I was expecting a really gay voice (which I like myself)

by Anonymousreply 66September 15, 2021 11:45 PM

R57, you sound really nice and grounded.

And I only usually say that when I’m being snarky, which I promise I’m not now.

by Anonymousreply 67September 15, 2021 11:52 PM

Turned off? No, besides those kinds of gays are transitioning. Once a good number of gay men transition in the coming years, will gays project that hate and discomfort onto the trans?

by Anonymousreply 68September 16, 2021 12:05 AM

R57: You sound cool. 👍

by Anonymousreply 69September 16, 2021 12:09 AM

Yes. My best friend from high school. I shunned him after graduation because he was so obvious. I’d moved away for several years and later when I returned I found a note wedged into the doorframe of my apartment that he’d left asking me to contact him. He shadowed be on FB, too. Years later, I saw him at a school reunion and we exchanged greetings. He then had someone ask me why I had stopped speaking to him.

by Anonymousreply 70September 16, 2021 12:21 AM

[quote]nd, also, we had to walk a very fine line with our gayness when we were young in ways these Gen Z kids do not so there is a little bit of generation gap at work here.

Oh boo hoo, snowflake. Try growing up gay in the 1960s and 70s South without being beat up at school or being called faggot.

by Anonymousreply 71September 16, 2021 12:24 AM

As a Trans Asian I only wear eye makeup and apply tape to my temples under my wig—it pulls my eyes tight so that my eyes are more oriental looking. Other than that I’m very masculine and no one knows I’m gay. I only get mad when people ASSUME I’m Caucasian! Does this authentic silk kimono look like a Halloween costume?? 你在跟我开玩笑吗?

by Anonymousreply 72September 16, 2021 12:26 AM

[quote]Oh boo hoo, snowflake. Try growing up gay in the 1960s and 70s South without being beat up at school or being called faggot.

I was called f-ggot by a bunch of Arab guys recently, if that counts.

by Anonymousreply 73September 16, 2021 12:27 AM

R70 ...

[quote]He then had someone ask me why I had stopped speaking to him.

What happened?

And, do you not still want to be friends with him?

by Anonymousreply 74September 16, 2021 12:28 AM

A saw a gay once

by Anonymousreply 75September 16, 2021 12:34 AM

[quote]I was called f-ggot by a bunch of Arab guys recently, if that counts.

It doesn't.

by Anonymousreply 76September 16, 2021 3:28 AM


by Anonymousreply 77September 16, 2021 3:29 AM

Anti-Gay thread on an alleged Gay site.

by Anonymousreply 78September 16, 2021 7:47 PM

New around here, R78?

by Anonymousreply 79September 16, 2021 7:56 PM

We had our first houseguest since the pandemic, an old friend from out of state and he was carrying a purse! It was on a long shoulder strap but if was a purse. Black with a quilted pattern on the front flap. Purse!

by Anonymousreply 80September 29, 2021 11:26 PM

Of course.

by Anonymousreply 81September 29, 2021 11:35 PM

[quote] A straight woman set me up on blind date

That was your first mistake.

by Anonymousreply 82September 29, 2021 11:49 PM

Johnny Weir.

by Anonymousreply 83September 30, 2021 12:15 AM

Yes, many times. It just doesn’t work for me, and ‘too gay’ is sort of a sliding scale. It could be just the voice, or the clothes, or the walk, but it’s usually a bit of all.

I should add in relation to the next quote: this goes for candidates for fucking and dating. I can be friends with a wide variety of people.

[quote] My best friend from high school. I shunned him after graduation because he was so obvious. I’d moved away for several years and later when I returned I found a note wedged into the doorframe of my apartment that he’d left asking me to contact him. He shadowed be on FB, too. Years later, I saw him at a school reunion and we exchanged greetings. He then had someone ask me why I had stopped speaking to him.

Wow’. That’s…the saddest story I’ve heard on DL in a while. Your best friend, and you just dropped him? And I don’t get any sense of how you feel about it….

by Anonymousreply 84September 30, 2021 12:39 AM

Many times

by Anonymousreply 85September 30, 2021 12:56 AM

I hate bitchy , flames 🔥

by Anonymousreply 86September 30, 2021 12:59 AM

I think too gay are guys who worship Disney princesses and stuff.

by Anonymousreply 87September 30, 2021 1:01 AM

Maybe when I was young and dumb. But not after approximately age 30. Masculinity is a broad spectrum. I’m considered fairly “straight-acting” (a repulsive turn of phrase) at first glance and have been told that as a compliment. I never take it as one.

by Anonymousreply 88September 30, 2021 1:02 AM

R70/R80 did anyone ever tell you that in that scenario you were the piece of shit? I can’t stand gays like you. But I understand that you’re a consequence of homophobia / self loathing that you haven’t been able to overcome. As R84 says it’s extremely sad. You could probably learn something from your friend with the purse, although if I were him I’d never talk to you again.

by Anonymousreply 89September 30, 2021 1:07 AM

There is no such thing as too gay.

Just as there is no such thing as too straight.

by Anonymousreply 90September 30, 2021 1:17 AM

R7 the same thing happened to me.

Do you suppose it was the same woman?

by Anonymousreply 91September 30, 2021 2:05 AM

R83 Johnny Weir is hot, at least to me anyways. Amazing hot body and really sexy, single at the moment too apparently. Rich as fuck too, whats not to love?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 92September 30, 2021 2:38 AM

Like this guy Op?

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by Anonymousreply 93September 30, 2021 2:49 AM

OP needs a transformation like that at the end of "Freaks," except with a blonde wig on the Chicken Troll.

by Anonymousreply 94September 30, 2021 3:04 AM

[quote]That’s…the saddest story I’ve heard on DL in a while.

True. Be much funnier if the flamer was a fat girl.

by Anonymousreply 95September 30, 2021 3:13 AM

[quote]whats not to love?

Waking up each morning to him spinning on my dick in a different costume.

by Anonymousreply 96September 30, 2021 3:14 AM

R92 we will agree to disagree on Weir and his sex appeal. Different strokes and all that….

by Anonymousreply 97September 30, 2021 3:32 AM

Uh, definitely not my type

by Anonymousreply 98September 30, 2021 3:40 AM

I’m ok with nellies as long as they aren’t melodramatic and histrionic, but it tends to come with the territory. Nellies and dykes seem to fall into the extreme negative behavior of the opposite genders. It’s not a problem per se, but socially, I find both tiresome and annoying. 9/10 if there is drama in a gay club, it a nellie or some butch lesbian taking it to another level.

by Anonymousreply 99September 30, 2021 6:46 AM


Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 100September 30, 2021 7:26 AM

Only want chill straight acting dudes around me. Emphasis chill.

Sorry not sorry.

by Anonymousreply 101September 30, 2021 7:47 AM

I’m not attracted to guys with fem qualities

by Anonymousreply 102September 30, 2021 7:50 AM

Bump. If you color your hair, shape your eyebrows, get Botox, use "she" instead of "he", are a bitch to others, don't watch any sports on TV, or if the gym is your church - I'm out.

by Anonymousreply 103September 30, 2021 7:58 AM

I can be friends with nice sweet fem guys, but not witty bitchy or flamboyant ones

by Anonymousreply 104September 30, 2021 8:01 AM

R103 dude straight guys go to the gym and lift heavy

That’s a sign of manliness and masculinity

by Anonymousreply 105September 30, 2021 8:54 AM

R103 in fact all the straight guys I know that watch sports also workout all the time

They want to be in the best shape to PLAY sports too

How is that feminine?

by Anonymousreply 106September 30, 2021 8:56 AM

I hate gay voice.

by Anonymousreply 107September 30, 2021 8:59 AM

I have trouble with the gays that are obsessed with the fact they’re gay, as though it’s their greatest achievement in life. To me, being gay is incidental to who I am, rather than the pinnacle of my existence.

by Anonymousreply 108September 30, 2021 10:12 AM


[quote] DENNIS (played by Timothy Olyphant): “I’m 28 years old, and the only thing I’m good at is being gay...I need to move on, need to make my life into something else; instead of just my friends, and the parties. That’s the only way I’ll have something to give back to someone.”

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 109September 30, 2021 10:25 AM

No fems or fatties.

by Anonymousreply 110September 30, 2021 10:25 AM

R31 no, we get it.

Like I’m femme and mostly desire women, and while I adore a slightly-masc or soft-butch girl, I really can’t abide the deeply-entrenched bulldagger as a romantic interest—you know, the ones that seem like they’re transitioning, who obsessively bind and stuff, and put a fake-bass voice, and try to treat you like a stereotypical basic awful douchebag straight-man bro/fuckboi/trucker/lumberjack/whatever would, and refuse to enjoy or discuss anything remotely femme or feminine. It’s too much and totally grotesque, an embarrassing pantomime.

Not trying to offend or to alienate. Dgmw here; a little soft-butch swagger and some androgyny is great, and can be sexy on the right woman. A soupçon of masculinity, if you will. But if a girl has gone full drag-king full-time, she will have to accept that most sapphics (except the closet-case femmes, the addicts, and the lamprey princesses) will not really appreciate that, because what they’re drawn to and want is recognisable and unapologetic femininity.

Also, I understand that for a contingent elderlesbians and bi women, butchness was a shield and a defence mechanism—I wouldn’t take that away from anyone, and maybe in the same circumstances other sapphics would do the same. It’s been mercifully easier for the women 21st century.

But in the year 2021, bulldaggery and stone-butchery is not for me.

The most attractive thing in the world, at least in my eyes, falls in line with R99’s comment—someone who wholly embraces their true sex/gender and its characteristics, while being unafraid to mix it up with a few small gestures or attributes borrowed from the other side of the binary for the purposes of style. That is punk and so cool imo. This works on men or women imo—nothing cuter than a regular-looking and sounding dude with a slight touch of breedability (maybe that’s because I’m more attracted to women, though?)

by Anonymousreply 111September 30, 2021 10:32 AM

Used to casually on again off again date this one guy. Great body, gigantic dick, unfortunate face, but nice guy. However he slowly got more and more gay. He went from being into games and comics to nothing but drag race and gender identity. We stopped seeing each other for a few reasons, but when I went back home and reconnected he had gone full gender cult. I gave him a pity fuck but it was horrible. About a year later he became a tranny and is dating another tranny. So I guess I dodged a bullet; although I think he was just lonely and looking to belong. Had I stayed with him he probably wouldn’t have trooned himself.

by Anonymousreply 112September 30, 2021 10:32 AM

Full face or make-up unironically, Kris Jenner hair, racer back tank top, thong back stickin out of sum daisy dukes, shaved legs, cowboy boots

by Anonymousreply 113September 30, 2021 10:45 AM

hated growing up seeing a full on gay. i knew how people hated 'em and i knew i was one. i never got over it really.

by Anonymousreply 114September 30, 2021 11:14 AM

I'm the femme gay most of you refuse to date! I get interest, but usually only from guys who 'fetishize' my sort - I'm just not into that kind of role play.

by Anonymousreply 115September 30, 2021 11:21 AM

Less about being overly femme and more about being too wrapped up in being gay, where that becomes their entire identity

by Anonymousreply 116September 30, 2021 11:38 AM

Keanu Reeves is my ideal kind of gay.

by Anonymousreply 117September 30, 2021 11:38 AM

R90 There is such thing as too straight. For example, there are women who are turned off by certain “nice guys”. Christian men with moral values are too straight.

by Anonymousreply 118September 30, 2021 12:04 PM

R116 yeah the people you see at pride parades wrapped in a rainbow flag is too gay for me.

by Anonymousreply 119September 30, 2021 12:05 PM

R115 There is a difference between fem and faggy.

Ill date a fem guy, not a faggy one.

by Anonymousreply 120September 30, 2021 12:09 PM

What does “faggy” mean?

by Anonymousreply 121September 30, 2021 1:57 PM

I was wondering that, R121. I'm guessing an overtly, in-your-face kind of gay? Attention-seeking and faux dramatic, maybe. I've never equated 'faggy' with femme. I'm certainly not like the above description!

by Anonymousreply 122September 30, 2021 2:35 PM

I just hate the whole you are a bigot unless you embrace everyone, including cunty queens, angry dykes, etc . There are people I like, people I respect and people I tolerate. All of these people get a basic courtesy. But no one has the obligation to love everyone—just respect everyone’s right to do their thing until it fucks up yours.

by Anonymousreply 123September 30, 2021 2:58 PM

If you make being gay the entire focus of your life, then you're too gay.

by Anonymousreply 124September 30, 2021 3:59 PM

R29 we're all "mask for mask" at the moment.

by Anonymousreply 125September 30, 2021 4:41 PM

There is a vacuous queen where I work. He is always”on”, and never shuts up when people are trying to concentrate on their work. We all know in minute detail how sex-positive he is, and we are now experts on Rihanna’s fashion line. I have observed him creating a harem of some younger female colleagues and pointedly excluding others. It will end in tears. I avoid him like the plague.

by Anonymousreply 126September 30, 2021 4:56 PM

121 Fem implies someone is softer and feminine, like a femboy, or maybe a shy twink. I would never call Perez Hilton fem for example. Or that annoying non-binary red headed freak who makes those tik toks. He isn’t fem.

Faggy means someone is a shrill queen and it isn’t limited to body type.

by Anonymousreply 127September 30, 2021 5:17 PM

Paul Lynde used to get me hard.

by Anonymousreply 128September 30, 2021 6:33 PM

Drag is a grotesque turn off

by Anonymousreply 129September 30, 2021 11:32 PM

I spent months repeating the phrase “put the biscuit in the basket” in order to reduce the sibilance in my speech. I can’t seem to keep my wrists from going limp though. Oh well. I guess I’ll always be a bit femme.

by Anonymousreply 130October 1, 2021 1:03 AM

It's not often I come across a word I'm unfamiliar with, but I had to Google sibilance!

I've got an awkward combination of gay voice with a posh accent. I heard myself on a recording once and wanted to jump off a bridge!

by Anonymousreply 131October 1, 2021 10:04 AM


by Anonymousreply 132October 1, 2021 2:05 PM

R131 … MARY!!!

by Anonymousreply 133October 1, 2021 3:02 PM

Used to go to drag shows with a drinking buddy of mine. His roommate was a drag queen and performed at a bar in San Diego. He invited me to dinner one night with his roommate and their friends. It was awful. They don’t know when to turn off the stage act. Every other line coming from their mouths were a read or a shade. Vicious and nasty. I had to tell his friend to back off of me because he was pissed that I wasn’t a fan of Carol Channing. And he was also pissed because my friend was attracted to me and not him. I don’t think that it was romantic though-he just wanted to have my friend around as a mascot (we drifted apart because he had no real backbone). And they were worse backstage. Maybe it was just this particular group of drag queens, but it left a negative impression on me. One night I went to the show and his drag friend was doing that stupid conga song by Gloria Estefan. In the middle of the song his wig fell off. I had to leave I was laughing so hard. And that queen saw me and gave me the serious stink eye. Never went back. My friend and I would meet at happy hour and usually drift over to see the drag act. I just couldn’t anymore. I think that bitch might have ambushed me or something. “Man beaten to death by trannies; film at eleven!”.

by Anonymousreply 134October 1, 2021 5:25 PM

Drag queens like raisin, ruin everything.

by Anonymousreply 135October 1, 2021 5:48 PM

This thread is total deluded.

Half of the posts are making fun of guys that ‘center their lives around being gay’ yet the poster is posting this on a gay board that they pay a monthly subscription to that they have specifically sought out.

The other half are posts about ‘bitchy’ gays and how awful they are. These posts are explicitly bitchy. And are being posted by gays. Le sigh.

You guys are just too fucking stupid it’s unreal.

by Anonymousreply 136October 1, 2021 6:26 PM

No. As long as they aren't a toubo, I'm fine.

by Anonymousreply 137October 2, 2021 3:18 AM

You can't be too gay or too middle class.

by Anonymousreply 138October 2, 2021 6:11 AM

This pretty much sums it up for me.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 139October 2, 2021 6:22 AM

R139, even if that person were an actual women he would be too effeminate!

by Anonymousreply 140October 2, 2021 8:45 AM

How did that guy in the video at r139 get my great-grandmother's coat?

by Anonymousreply 141October 3, 2021 2:40 AM

[quote] Have you ever been turned off because someone was “too gay”?

It depends on the situation— whether I'm in bed or in a bar.

I can tell you I have NEVER watched more five minutes of that Rupaul TRANSVESTITES' FREAK SHOW.

by Anonymousreply 142October 3, 2021 2:45 AM

It's funny, on the discussions about being set up on dates above, I would never let a woman set me up on a date these days. Experience has shown me that women tend to set up gay guys based on "oh you're BOTH gay, you should like each other"reasons. I know I'm being stereotypical here, and I am willing to be wrong, but that's my experience. But set up by other gay men is fine, and if my family did, as retro as it sounds, I'm pretty confident they would only pick a guy who they know is right for me.

As far as the question, I don't get turned off by a guy being naturally, obviously gay at all, though my type is more everyday - out and confident, but not making gay his whole life. What does turn me off is horrible behaviour, mean and nasty under the guise of being witty (true wit is a lot rarer). If I meet gay guys and they are mean and nasty about others in my presence, I'm turned off. I don't like seeing people ostracised or made fun of in a really mean way, and I also know those guys would turn it on me behind my back in a heartbeat.

This behaviour, in my experience, does tend to align more with the feminine guys but of course it's a mistake to say all feminine guys are like this.

by Anonymousreply 143October 3, 2021 4:48 AM

R143 I think we’re conditioned to presume ‘femme’ gays will be more bitchy, then when you see it happen you affirm that belief whereas if you see it happen with a less ‘femme’ guy (just as often in my experience) you think of it as outlying.

I have to say in general though I find gay people to be more inclusive than straight people, and to have more empathy.

by Anonymousreply 144October 3, 2021 5:31 AM

Along these lines, I think there is a definite preference for many within the gay community towards masculinity. I think that this preference is sometimes mistaken for misogyny or a dislike of women or overly feminine or flamboyant men when it's really often just flat out sexual preference. Sure there is some misogyny going on occasionally, there are gay men that hate women and I'm not cool with that. However, lots of times things are misinterpreted. I can be joke about being abhored by the idea of watching straight porn and want nothing to do with discussions about maxi pads or mascara and not be a hater.

by Anonymousreply 145October 3, 2021 6:00 AM

je déteste les hommes efféminés

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 146October 3, 2021 6:00 AM

[quote] Maybe it was just this particular group of drag queens

R134 No it isn't. 90% of drag queens are working class and dumb.

by Anonymousreply 147October 3, 2021 6:04 AM

Bitchiness is the first defense against rejection. Histrionics are the first defensive measures for social anxiety flare-ups.

Once again, these are strong-willed men who resisted bullshit straightening as children. I had a lot of effeminate traits beaten out of me before I started school. I never reclaimed them and that's something I regret.

by Anonymousreply 148October 3, 2021 6:07 AM

R144, yeah the whole confirmation bias thing, that definitely happens.

Interesting though, straight people have been a lot more inclusive in my experience than gay men.

by Anonymousreply 149October 3, 2021 6:42 AM

[quote]Once again, these are strong-willed men who resisted bullshit straightening as children. I had a lot of effeminate traits beaten out of me before I started school. I never reclaimed them and that's something I regret.

This is a good point. I've always said guys like this are always on the frontline. Certainly the ones who "pass as straight" and who join in on the mockery of gay people while they're in the closet can be really annoying, especially when they come out and then end up centre of attention, something I've seen a lot. Humans, huh?

by Anonymousreply 150October 3, 2021 6:44 AM

Straight people are less jaded by years of dealing with queens living a tired cliché gay persona irl. Straights still find it entertaining, but most of us are over the gay court jester trope.

by Anonymousreply 151October 3, 2021 6:46 AM

Apparently lots of people on the left were turned off by Buttigieg because he was "not gay enough." If he'd only been a bitchy queen and acted like he was on Ru Paul's Drag Race he'd probably be president now.

by Anonymousreply 152October 3, 2021 12:55 PM
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