Let's be a German

Fucking idiot

Very few Germans are actually blond with blue eyes. I great deal of southern Germany was settled by the Romans.

I'm GermanGayGuy.

What is it like in American? Can someone sponsor me to come suck their dick!

R1 You don't seem nice at all.

Oh look! Poland.

Many Germans are very attractive. When I was visiting Berlin, I thought the good looking guys were American until they started talking .

I am a Fraulein.

I'm the absence of irony.

Let's redirect our fascist tendencies into the production of consumer goods.

I’m the drafter of the Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz.

r4 I'm not nice at all. I can't tolerate people who even pretend to be that stupid.

I'm the enormous balls.

Hitler was misunderstood.

Yuck! - Sorry for the random hyphenation, which D/L decided to insert.

I'm the incredibly irritating sense of superiority that leads German people to treat everyone with the utmost condescension - nevermind that there are lots of problems in Germany caused by inefficiency, complacency and stupidity: their way is the ONLY valid one, and they're willing to disdainfully let you know this fact every time you interact with them.

I’m Germany after dark 🌃

I'm David Hasselhoff, Germany's favourite son.

I'm the scat fetish that results from 40 years of crushing all normal sexual desires in favor of working.

I'm Fraktur.

(I actually am German. And it's more dark brown hair and blue eye.)

I'm the DILFs in Lederhosen.

I'm the person you arranged to have a meeting with on January 19, 2022 at 11:00 who has now entered it in my diary. If you attempt to change the meeting time, no matter how far in advance, I will fall apart.

I’m the Nazi-adjacent.

I’m oma’s sauerbraten and apfelstrudel. I’m also a fat whore.

I'm following all rules.

I'm the spa full of nude men (and women).

I’m Freikörperkultur. Saggy tits and nutsacks abound from Mallorca to Sylt.

I wonder how the average German perceived that whole Aryan thing? Did they fear Hitler would eventually exterminate brunettes (which most are)?

I’m the huge uncut (and thoroughly washed) cock.

I am every German who is direct...no small talk...I am blunt...if you are fat, I will tell you. Why should you get upset that I told you that. You asked. I told you. What is your problem?

I’m the radishes for breakfast.

JFC r28 do any of you ancient old motherfuckers know how to directly link to a picture?

German faces.

I found that an uncomfortable percentage of Germans are into the freakier aspects of sex, especially sleaze. Sorry, but I can't roll like that.

I'm r32 my German efficiency resents the .2 seconds longer it takes to click on the link than it otherwise would. I could be using that time to re-sort my sock draw.

What did OP do to piss Muriel off in the last hour?

He's the freak who was doxing the random lawyer. Among many other ridiculous troll threads.

I’m awkward as fuck, and always seem on edge.

I'm the omnipresent foreskins and the overwhelming disgust for cut penises.

Ich verstehe nicht the appeal of those 'Hogan's Heroes' reruns. Sie sind überhaupt nicht humorvoll.

I've fucked a lot of German guys and they've never said anything about my cut American dick.

I’m the pride taken in keeping my home, my person, and my family in order. In the small, rural town that is kept beautiful and clean. I’m the high standard of living, and the appreciation for keeping my environment beautiful. I’m a mature, rich culture that most Americans will never understand.

I am a Kanzlerin. Although quite popular and competent, I staunchly resist anything resembling a personality cult and use every means possible, including tonsorial, to discourage one.

I’m the nasty assed food.

I'm the pork and potatoes. Without me, you'd have nothing to eat.

We're the records kept. We're impeccable.

R13, Adolf Hitler was born in Braunau am Inn, a town in Austria-Hungary (in present-day Austria.)

Are there any Jews living in Germany?

Germany has 220,000 Jews today.

I am Angela Merkel and I cannot believe I had to tolerate Donald Trump.

"I like the dubbed version better because our dubbing actors' voices fit better and in the English version they mumble so much."

I'm the British Monarchy since 1714.

I am Friedrich Trump, a.k.a. Drumpf, formerly of Bavaria. I'm a scam artist and whoremonger—wonder if that's genetic?

Did the 220,000 Jews living in Germany today relocate there from other places? Or did they somehow live out the war?

I’m a schnitzel!

The war was 76 years ago.

R54, Many of them lived out the war in South Africa, the USA, South America,etc. and returned after the war.

I'm the worst Mexican food you will taste in your lifetime.

Germans are fine with Jews today, it's the Muslims in Germany who cause all the problems.

Many germans are NOT fine with Jews today. I just watched a DW documentary about it.

What did Damon Wayans have to say about it?

[quote] I'm the omnipresent foreskins

In certain parts of Germany? Ja, perhaps.

In all of Germany? Nein!

Don't mention the war!!!

I'm the complete lack of humor.

R64, Germans have humor. It is just different. I am convinced that part of the reason is the sentence structure. The verb at the end kills a lot of what is the traditional English language joke set up. Also, sarcasm doesn't really translate well to the German language.

The verb is only at the end in a subordinate clause. Don't use it as an excuse!

The important verb is also at the end in sentences using a past or future tense; you have to wait until the end of the sentence to find out what's up. Sometimes football scores on the radio kill me "Bayern has in the Champions League match last night in Munich against rivals Real Madrid with an attendance of 50K spectators including Angela Merkel ... lost.

I'm Entartete Kunst. I am glad that I was grouped in such a way that the future will know all the brilliance that this label sought to demonize.

In Russian, you have to wait until the end of the sentence to find out who it happened to, or so I'm told.

I am the bottom with a Nazi dom fetish, who asks the German top to berate him in gutteral German while fucking him.

I'm school-aged kids who can walk to school without fear of being kidnapped, raped and murdered like in the USA

[quote] Let's be a German

A German what?

I’m a ß!

I’m the (very hot) blond pubes.

I'm the room full of uncut German skinheads that took turns cumming bukkake style on my face, and pissing on me, in that one bar in Berlin.

R75. I’ve been to that bar…but in Munich. Must be a franchise deal.

R64 Germans do occasionally make fun of themselves/typical stereotypes.

Germans are the largest ancestry group in the US

And yes, it’s been my experience that gay German guys are disproportionately into piss play.

R75 - did any of them look like this guy? If so, count me in!

RE: R80. I’d gladly fuck that Neo, then toss him to the curb…naked.

I'm the hot German of Turkish descent.

Bar? I'm the same spitting pissing bukkake scenario in random concrete structure. I'm cruisy sex in the oughts.

R80 actually, that looks more like one of the French skinheads who shared a boarding house with me in Toronto years ago.

Also uncut and also fans of piss play!

I am their incessant interruption of foreigners speaking German, to correct their grammar, vocabulary, etc. This is obnoxious, but it will teach the foreigner how to speak German correctly.

So it has its advantages.

I’m the butch haircuts and orthopedic sandals of the 35+ year old women, even the straight ones.

It's so easy to get something wrong when trying to speak German

r15 is correct. The Germans are almost as insufferable as the British.

I’ll be the blind eye.

I’ll be the stoicism.

German gay guys

It's a very ugly language and they always sound angry to me when they speak.

I’ve always enjoyed speaking German. It’s the only language I know where you can converse and clear your throat at the same time.

R93 Those Germans are so practical!

I’ll be Hedi Klum.

r93 Phlegm?

Barbarians , all of them, and ugly.

If I can be just one German, I'd say whoever was fucking Horst Wagenbauer around the time of this photo shoot.

I'm Dieter from Sprockets. Please touch my monkey!

R99 Your story has become tiresome…

I'm the uncontrolled red-faced screaming rage at any perceived transgression of a rule or regulation.

Hello!

I'm the pervy sports doctor.

I am the weird Mecki haircut that all German women get once the turn 40. Double points if it is dyed a weird eggplant red/purple.

R103 I’d watch that porn video.

[quote]Germans are the largest ancestry group in the US

Bigger than the "Scots-Irish"?

I’m the swastika air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror of my Volkswagen.

R103 - that’s a hot couple….I’d definitely watch.

I’m the binder in which every single invoice and receipt is duly filed.

R103 I need that German daddy to finger my ass!

I need a German husband.

I'm the Kaiser. Things were better under me.

I'm Tomorrow and it Belongs To Me.

I'm a Pickelhaube.

My neighbor is an uppity German lawyer and his husband is a hot Mexican contractor. They have no sympathy and have no time for bullshit.

I imagine their sex is hot as hell. He has big cock energy.

The Mexican has big cock energy*

Lots of stories of them. Germans are so tense

I'm the German efficiently and expertly assessing his steaming turn on the dry shelf in his toilet.

I’m prince Philip, ya.

I love Schniedel.

OP got banned for doxing some smarky looking German-American lawyer in Houston. Karma.

R121 yikes can we post his twitter again? lol