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Let's be a German

I'm the blonde hair and blue eyes.

by Anonymousreply 119September 16, 2021 5:46 PM

Fucking idiot

by Anonymousreply 1September 12, 2021 10:25 PM

Very few Germans are actually blond with blue eyes. I great deal of southern Germany was settled by the Romans.

by Anonymousreply 2September 12, 2021 10:28 PM

I'm GermanGayGuy.

What is it like in American? Can someone sponsor me to come suck their dick!

by Anonymousreply 3September 12, 2021 10:28 PM

R1 You don't seem nice at all.

by Anonymousreply 4September 12, 2021 10:28 PM

Oh look! Poland.

by Anonymousreply 5September 12, 2021 10:29 PM

Many Germans are very attractive. When I was visiting Berlin, I thought the good looking guys were American until they started talking .

by Anonymousreply 6September 12, 2021 10:31 PM

I am a Fraulein.

by Anonymousreply 7September 12, 2021 10:31 PM

I'm the absence of irony.

by Anonymousreply 8September 12, 2021 10:33 PM

Let's redirect our fascist tendencies into the production of consumer goods.

by Anonymousreply 9September 12, 2021 10:34 PM

I’m the drafter of the Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz.

by Anonymousreply 10September 12, 2021 10:35 PM

r4 I'm not nice at all. I can't tolerate people who even pretend to be that stupid.

by Anonymousreply 11September 12, 2021 10:35 PM

I'm the enormous balls.

by Anonymousreply 12September 12, 2021 10:35 PM

Hitler was misunderstood.

by Anonymousreply 13September 12, 2021 10:35 PM

Yuck! - Sorry for the random hyphenation, which D/L decided to insert.

by Anonymousreply 14September 12, 2021 10:37 PM

I'm the incredibly irritating sense of superiority that leads German people to treat everyone with the utmost condescension - nevermind that there are lots of problems in Germany caused by inefficiency, complacency and stupidity: their way is the ONLY valid one, and they're willing to disdainfully let you know this fact every time you interact with them.

by Anonymousreply 15September 12, 2021 10:38 PM

I’m Germany after dark 🌃

by Anonymousreply 16September 12, 2021 10:44 PM

I'm David Hasselhoff, Germany's favourite son.

by Anonymousreply 17September 12, 2021 10:46 PM

I'm the scat fetish that results from 40 years of crushing all normal sexual desires in favor of working.

by Anonymousreply 18September 12, 2021 10:49 PM

I'm Fraktur.

by Anonymousreply 19September 12, 2021 10:51 PM

(I actually am German. And it's more dark brown hair and blue eye.)

by Anonymousreply 20September 12, 2021 10:53 PM

I'm the DILFs in Lederhosen.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 21September 12, 2021 10:54 PM

I'm the person you arranged to have a meeting with on January 19, 2022 at 11:00 who has now entered it in my diary. If you attempt to change the meeting time, no matter how far in advance, I will fall apart.

by Anonymousreply 22September 12, 2021 10:56 PM

I’m the Nazi-adjacent.

by Anonymousreply 23September 12, 2021 11:06 PM

I’m oma’s sauerbraten and apfelstrudel. I’m also a fat whore.

by Anonymousreply 24September 12, 2021 11:09 PM

I'm following all rules.

by Anonymousreply 25September 12, 2021 11:11 PM

I'm the spa full of nude men (and women).

by Anonymousreply 26September 12, 2021 11:13 PM

I’m Freikörperkultur. Saggy tits and nutsacks abound from Mallorca to Sylt.

by Anonymousreply 27September 12, 2021 11:17 PM

I wonder how the average German perceived that whole Aryan thing? Did they fear Hitler would eventually exterminate brunettes (which most are)?

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by Anonymousreply 28September 12, 2021 11:20 PM

I’m the huge uncut (and thoroughly washed) cock.

by Anonymousreply 29September 12, 2021 11:27 PM

I am every German who is direct...no small talk...I am blunt...if you are fat, I will tell you. Why should you get upset that I told you that. You asked. I told you. What is your problem?

by Anonymousreply 30September 12, 2021 11:33 PM

I’m the radishes for breakfast.

by Anonymousreply 31September 12, 2021 11:35 PM

JFC r28 do any of you ancient old motherfuckers know how to directly link to a picture?

by Anonymousreply 32September 12, 2021 11:38 PM

German faces.

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by Anonymousreply 33September 12, 2021 11:41 PM

I found that an uncomfortable percentage of Germans are into the freakier aspects of sex, especially sleaze. Sorry, but I can't roll like that.

by Anonymousreply 34September 12, 2021 11:42 PM

I'm r32 my German efficiency resents the .2 seconds longer it takes to click on the link than it otherwise would. I could be using that time to re-sort my sock draw.

by Anonymousreply 35September 12, 2021 11:43 PM

What did OP do to piss Muriel off in the last hour?

by Anonymousreply 36September 12, 2021 11:46 PM

He's the freak who was doxing the random lawyer. Among many other ridiculous troll threads.

by Anonymousreply 37September 12, 2021 11:54 PM

I’m awkward as fuck, and always seem on edge.

by Anonymousreply 38September 13, 2021 12:05 AM

I'm the omnipresent foreskins and the overwhelming disgust for cut penises.

by Anonymousreply 39September 13, 2021 1:18 AM

Ich verstehe nicht the appeal of those 'Hogan's Heroes' reruns. Sie sind überhaupt nicht humorvoll.

by Anonymousreply 40September 13, 2021 1:21 AM

I've fucked a lot of German guys and they've never said anything about my cut American dick.

by Anonymousreply 41September 13, 2021 1:21 AM

I’m the pride taken in keeping my home, my person, and my family in order. In the small, rural town that is kept beautiful and clean. I’m the high standard of living, and the appreciation for keeping my environment beautiful. I’m a mature, rich culture that most Americans will never understand.

by Anonymousreply 42September 13, 2021 2:14 AM

I am a Kanzlerin. Although quite popular and competent, I staunchly resist anything resembling a personality cult and use every means possible, including tonsorial, to discourage one.

by Anonymousreply 43September 13, 2021 2:20 AM

I’m the nasty assed food.

by Anonymousreply 44September 13, 2021 3:39 AM

I'm the pork and potatoes. Without me, you'd have nothing to eat.

by Anonymousreply 45September 13, 2021 3:47 AM

We're the records kept. We're impeccable.

by Anonymousreply 46September 13, 2021 4:39 AM

R13, Adolf Hitler was born in Braunau am Inn, a town in Austria-Hungary (in present-day Austria.)

by Anonymousreply 47September 13, 2021 5:05 AM

Are there any Jews living in Germany?

by Anonymousreply 48September 13, 2021 5:12 AM

Germany has 220,000 Jews today.

by Anonymousreply 49September 13, 2021 5:30 AM

I am Angela Merkel and I cannot believe I had to tolerate Donald Trump.

by Anonymousreply 50September 13, 2021 6:36 AM

"I like the dubbed version better because our dubbing actors' voices fit better and in the English version they mumble so much."

by Anonymousreply 51September 13, 2021 6:54 AM

I'm the British Monarchy since 1714.

by Anonymousreply 52September 13, 2021 7:37 AM

I am Friedrich Trump, a.k.a. Drumpf, formerly of Bavaria. I'm a scam artist and whoremonger—wonder if that's genetic?

by Anonymousreply 53September 13, 2021 12:25 PM

Did the 220,000 Jews living in Germany today relocate there from other places? Or did they somehow live out the war?

by Anonymousreply 54September 13, 2021 5:09 PM

I’m a schnitzel!

by Anonymousreply 55September 13, 2021 5:23 PM

The war was 76 years ago.

by Anonymousreply 56September 13, 2021 5:33 PM

R54, Many of them lived out the war in South Africa, the USA, South America,etc. and returned after the war.

by Anonymousreply 57September 13, 2021 6:03 PM

I'm the worst Mexican food you will taste in your lifetime.

by Anonymousreply 58September 13, 2021 6:06 PM

Germans are fine with Jews today, it's the Muslims in Germany who cause all the problems.

by Anonymousreply 59September 13, 2021 6:16 PM

Many germans are NOT fine with Jews today. I just watched a DW documentary about it.

by Anonymousreply 60September 13, 2021 7:12 PM

What did Damon Wayans have to say about it?

by Anonymousreply 61September 13, 2021 7:28 PM

[quote] I'm the omnipresent foreskins

In certain parts of Germany? Ja, perhaps.

In all of Germany? Nein!

by Anonymousreply 62September 13, 2021 7:33 PM

Don't mention the war!!!

by Anonymousreply 63September 13, 2021 10:54 PM

I'm the complete lack of humor.

by Anonymousreply 64September 14, 2021 4:13 AM

R64, Germans have humor. It is just different. I am convinced that part of the reason is the sentence structure. The verb at the end kills a lot of what is the traditional English language joke set up. Also, sarcasm doesn't really translate well to the German language.

by Anonymousreply 65September 14, 2021 10:29 AM

The verb is only at the end in a subordinate clause. Don't use it as an excuse!

by Anonymousreply 66September 14, 2021 11:51 AM

The important verb is also at the end in sentences using a past or future tense; you have to wait until the end of the sentence to find out what's up. Sometimes football scores on the radio kill me "Bayern has in the Champions League match last night in Munich against rivals Real Madrid with an attendance of 50K spectators including Angela Merkel ... lost.

by Anonymousreply 67September 14, 2021 6:11 PM

I'm Entartete Kunst. I am glad that I was grouped in such a way that the future will know all the brilliance that this label sought to demonize.

by Anonymousreply 68September 14, 2021 9:20 PM

In Russian, you have to wait until the end of the sentence to find out who it happened to, or so I'm told.

by Anonymousreply 69September 14, 2021 9:23 PM

I am the bottom with a Nazi dom fetish, who asks the German top to berate him in gutteral German while fucking him.

by Anonymousreply 70September 14, 2021 9:57 PM

I'm school-aged kids who can walk to school without fear of being kidnapped, raped and murdered like in the USA

by Anonymousreply 71September 14, 2021 10:05 PM

[quote] Let's be a German

A German what?

by Anonymousreply 72September 14, 2021 10:44 PM

I’m a ß!

by Anonymousreply 73September 14, 2021 11:33 PM

I’m the (very hot) blond pubes.

by Anonymousreply 74September 14, 2021 11:48 PM

I'm the room full of uncut German skinheads that took turns cumming bukkake style on my face, and pissing on me, in that one bar in Berlin.

by Anonymousreply 75September 14, 2021 11:56 PM

R75. I’ve been to that bar…but in Munich. Must be a franchise deal.

by Anonymousreply 76September 14, 2021 11:59 PM

R64 Germans do occasionally make fun of themselves/typical stereotypes.

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by Anonymousreply 77September 15, 2021 12:02 AM

Germans are the largest ancestry group in the US

by Anonymousreply 78September 15, 2021 12:07 AM

And yes, it’s been my experience that gay German guys are disproportionately into piss play.

by Anonymousreply 79September 15, 2021 12:10 AM

R75 - did any of them look like this guy? If so, count me in!

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by Anonymousreply 80September 15, 2021 12:25 AM

RE: R80. I’d gladly fuck that Neo, then toss him to the curb…naked.

by Anonymousreply 81September 15, 2021 12:28 AM

I'm the hot German of Turkish descent.

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by Anonymousreply 82September 15, 2021 12:34 AM

Bar? I'm the same spitting pissing bukkake scenario in random concrete structure. I'm cruisy sex in the oughts.

by Anonymousreply 83September 15, 2021 12:38 AM

R80 actually, that looks more like one of the French skinheads who shared a boarding house with me in Toronto years ago.

Also uncut and also fans of piss play!

by Anonymousreply 84September 15, 2021 12:39 AM

I am their incessant interruption of foreigners speaking German, to correct their grammar, vocabulary, etc. This is obnoxious, but it will teach the foreigner how to speak German correctly.

So it has its advantages.

by Anonymousreply 85September 15, 2021 12:53 AM

I’m the butch haircuts and orthopedic sandals of the 35+ year old women, even the straight ones.

by Anonymousreply 86September 15, 2021 1:00 AM

It's so easy to get something wrong when trying to speak German

by Anonymousreply 87September 15, 2021 1:00 AM

r15 is correct. The Germans are almost as insufferable as the British.

by Anonymousreply 88September 15, 2021 1:01 AM

I’ll be the blind eye.

by Anonymousreply 89September 15, 2021 1:30 AM

I’ll be the stoicism.

by Anonymousreply 90September 15, 2021 1:33 AM

German gay guys

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by Anonymousreply 91September 15, 2021 2:37 AM

It's a very ugly language and they always sound angry to me when they speak.

by Anonymousreply 92September 15, 2021 2:55 AM

I’ve always enjoyed speaking German. It’s the only language I know where you can converse and clear your throat at the same time.

by Anonymousreply 93September 15, 2021 3:03 AM

R93 Those Germans are so practical!

by Anonymousreply 94September 15, 2021 3:09 AM

I’ll be Hedi Klum.

by Anonymousreply 95September 15, 2021 3:11 AM

r93 Phlegm?

by Anonymousreply 96September 15, 2021 3:12 AM

Barbarians , all of them, and ugly.

by Anonymousreply 97September 15, 2021 3:13 AM

If I can be just one German, I'd say whoever was fucking Horst Wagenbauer around the time of this photo shoot.

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by Anonymousreply 98September 15, 2021 4:29 AM

I'm Dieter from Sprockets. Please touch my monkey!

by Anonymousreply 99September 15, 2021 4:39 AM

R99 Your story has become tiresome…

by Anonymousreply 100September 15, 2021 8:31 AM

I'm the uncontrolled red-faced screaming rage at any perceived transgression of a rule or regulation.

by Anonymousreply 101September 15, 2021 8:39 AM


by Anonymousreply 102September 15, 2021 8:39 AM

I'm the pervy sports doctor.

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by Anonymousreply 103September 15, 2021 8:58 AM

I am the weird Mecki haircut that all German women get once the turn 40. Double points if it is dyed a weird eggplant red/purple.

by Anonymousreply 104September 15, 2021 9:46 AM

R103 I’d watch that porn video.

by Anonymousreply 105September 15, 2021 10:12 AM

[quote]Germans are the largest ancestry group in the US

Bigger than the "Scots-Irish"?

by Anonymousreply 106September 15, 2021 11:45 AM

I’m the swastika air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror of my Volkswagen.

by Anonymousreply 107September 15, 2021 12:09 PM

R103 - that’s a hot couple….I’d definitely watch.

by Anonymousreply 108September 15, 2021 12:09 PM

I’m the binder in which every single invoice and receipt is duly filed.

by Anonymousreply 109September 15, 2021 1:31 PM

R103 I need that German daddy to finger my ass!

by Anonymousreply 110September 15, 2021 3:21 PM

I need a German husband.

by Anonymousreply 111September 15, 2021 4:01 PM

I'm the Kaiser. Things were better under me.

by Anonymousreply 112September 15, 2021 8:14 PM

I'm Tomorrow and it Belongs To Me.

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by Anonymousreply 113September 15, 2021 9:19 PM

I'm a Pickelhaube.

by Anonymousreply 114September 15, 2021 9:27 PM

My neighbor is an uppity German lawyer and his husband is a hot Mexican contractor. They have no sympathy and have no time for bullshit.

I imagine their sex is hot as hell. He has big cock energy.

by Anonymousreply 115September 16, 2021 5:05 PM

The Mexican has big cock energy*

by Anonymousreply 116September 16, 2021 5:05 PM

Lots of stories of them. Germans are so tense

by Anonymousreply 117September 16, 2021 5:23 PM

I'm the German efficiently and expertly assessing his steaming turn on the dry shelf in his toilet.

by Anonymousreply 118September 16, 2021 5:34 PM

I’m prince Philip, ya.

by Anonymousreply 119September 16, 2021 5:46 PM
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