Harry & Meghan biopic TANKS in the ratings

I didn't even know about it, however after seeing this thread I've watched a couple of clips and holy shit does Meghan desperately want to be Diana, it's crazy!

It's 'destined to be a Camp Classic' according to the independent.

Perfect for DataLounge!

They had People Magazine basically live-tweeting the broadcast in ultra-obsequious fashion and they were STILL beaten by some Friends reruns.

It looks and sounds stupid. Nobdoy except diehard Meghan and Harry fans would watch this.

I watched it just to hatewatch it, r4. Many of us on DL did.

R5, my bad, I forgot about watching it for camp value. That's the only legitimate reason for watching it. How bad was it??

"The Psycho bond Harry and Meghan shared"

"The psycho bond."

Good one People.com

It's hard to believe this is the same sexy, lovable, rogue Harry of just 6-7 years ago. WTF happened to him?

[quote] WTF happened to him?

Meghan.

But he wasn't some innocent, young incel. He'd fucked his way around the world with a lot of top-tier pussy at his disposal. Why her? I mean, she's pretty, but I don't see what else is there. Did she trap him with a baby and he was too honorable to have her killed?

Marrying her absolved him of his reputation as the Royal Racist, AND she offered him having a new Mommy, revenge for his previous Mommy, as well as promising him they could become billionaires and he could outshine his grandmother, father and brother.

That's why he married her.

[quote] How bad was it??

It was like it was made to honor royalty who might have your head chopped off if you didn't present them positively enough.

Harry and Meghan were presented as relentlessly positive, only concerned about doing good in the world and doing what's best for Archie. They cry, though, because the palace is filled with meanies, in particular one evil bitch composite character named "Victoria" who is William's secretary and plotting nothing but evil for them (though we find out in the end she's just jealous, of course--she cries when Meghan gets pregnant after her miscarriage, suggested she herself is no longer fertile). The other chief villains are bumbling Charles and rigid William, who is played by an actor much uglier than he is in real life. Rigid Williams even snarls to his wife that Archie "isn't even a proper royal name!", to let you know just how petty he is. Kate is presented as kind and wishing to play peacemaker, but she buys entirely into the palace mindset and literally tells Meghan that Meghan's problem is that she values freedom and individualism over the palace devotion to duty and dignity. The Queen is grouchy with everyone, but is angrier with Charles and William for not doing enough to welcome Meghan into the family than she is with Harry.

There are about ten different scenes that are written exactly the same way: Meghan is happily typing away at her laptop with some new project designed to empower the women of the world (e.g. her Vogue issue, the speech for her high school's graduating class, the opening to the Marianne Willamson poem she will read in church), and Harry walks in, his brow furrowed, with news of some horrible indignity visited upon them by "the palace."

Sadly, though, it wasn't entirely as campy as it could be, There are two genuinely hilarious moments: when "Victoria" primly announces to Charles and Harry, "We shall use what is called 'cancel culture' against them," and when right before Commonwealth Day Harry and Meghan, finally openly fed up, goad William into saying what he really thinks of Meghan, and he hisses she's a "disruptor."

Will MEghan and Harry sue Lifetime? No?

Didn't think so. They're behind this somewhere.

Worse than Friends, they didn't beat Cheap Old Houses, Street Outlaws: Memphis, Robot Chicken, or the allegorically named Help! I Wrecked My House.

Wow... we suck.

The Harry in this - Jordan Dean - has an amazing body! Who’s had him?

I'm afraid I might take a shot at the TV if I watch this. They offend.!

R17, it's unfortunate he choose to be in a such a shitty movie.

It’s a job, r19. Most actors aren’t so lucky. Even the good ones.

R20, that's true. But I'm thinking this won't help him get better roles.

[quote] The Harry in this - Jordan Dean - has an amazing body! Who’s had him?

He was [italic]significantly[/italic] less ripped in the TV movie.

They showed him shirtless in the poolside scene at Tyler Perry's mansion ("I like American royalty!" enthuses Harry in that scene--Tyler Perry is American royalty? REALLY??), and he was built there much like the real Prince Harry--broad-shouldered and trim, but with no definition.

A round up of the UK reviews - there are some gems in here.

Netflix must be looking at the ratings in horror

Exactly, r24. They've begun to bomb as a matter of course.

But... but... but... I thought it was enough to want to be something...

If they weren't pimping such odious carpetbaggers, I could almost feel sorry for Sunshine Sachs right now. Because, yeah, they're getting paid, but at some point they acquire a certain ick factor trying to polish those turds.

I don't think it's so bad for them to post the 9/11 names.

But I agree that it contradicts with Harry's previous statement on peoples' rights to grieve for someone they never met.

LOL The DE are onto the ratings story. The comments below the tweet are amusing.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

^^^^^ To be clear, the "Creative Arts" Emmys are being awarded today at a private ceremony separate from the televised Emmy Ceremony next week.

The Harkles did not attend, apparently.

They lost to pasta.

So does this mean they're not invited to the televised Emmys? seems so.

And apparently not on the list for the Met Gala either....

The crockery must flying in Monteshitto tonight!

You know, the Mail is awful, but I admire their ability to twist the knife: "The tell-all interview, in which Meghan confessed she felt suicidal after dealing with the stress of the royal lifestyle, lost to a series about Italian cuisine."

[quote] They lost to pasta.

And it was boxed dry pasta at that! AND STRAINED!!! The horror.

Tory Racist Corgi Furry Cosplay thread #16,299,594

LOL! r34 and r35 - Exactly!

"It's hard to believe this is the same sexy, lovable, rogue Harry of just 6-7 years ago. WTF happened to him?"

The Palace's top-flight publicity department stopped spinning his behavior as charming roguery.

He was a stupid douchebag all along.

YOU and the other fraus on here watching this crap are the problem r5. The ONLY ratings they got that were not completely abysmal was women over 50.

They've been bombing all along r24, just like we knew they would. Pretty??? r11? Surely you need glasses!

Now the palace is no longer covering for him, it's so obvious he has terrible anger issues. I have no qualms believing that blind about the beaten up prostitutes anymore.

Meghan showing up at Oprah's house w. a beautiful handcrafted bespoke basket filled with her eggs & homemade banana bread & bananas w. her calligraphic hand written notes..'You are a Winner!', 'You are the Best!','Stanley Tucci is a jerk', ' Merchie & Lillimerch love you to pieces', 'You are the real Kween of people's hearts'. Meghan being run off by the dogs snapping at her behind, w. eggs , bread & bananas flying. Oprah heard screaming. don't you never come round here again, & don't ever call me. Gayle says, #METOO.

LMFAO

Perfection, r42.

CNN's "Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy" is a fabulous show.

It's more then a food show...it's a travelogue, a history lesson, a tour behind the scenes of how food is prepared, a modern day cultural immersion into the regions and neighborhoods of Italy and a celebration of life. And Stanley doesn't lie, make up stories and force the audience to ask if he's okay.

Tucci's show deserved to win.

Stanley Tucci evens the score with the Royal Family

So - are they going to be invited to the Met Ball, or does Anna ever want to be invited to any BRF event ever again?

If Bill Nighy has any influence, then no, they won't be invited.

Oh, I see Princess Diana attended the Met Ball back in the day, so no. Harry and Meg aren't getting an invitation, as long as there are bigger royal fish for Anna Nuclear-Wintour to catch.

It certainly looks like he does have influence, r48.

Love, love love Bill on screen, so I'd be shallow too & go along with whatever Bill says.

Bill has expressed his fondness for the Queen before, so I'd be shocked if the Markles are invited. AW seems extremely taken with him.

I can't ever see her getting invited. The booing would be too loud. Plus, Anna can easily see how tragic her "style," has always been.

But you know she's wringing the necks of a few rescue chickens tonight.

and Harry's neck as well

She's choking the chickens??

Darling Pet, don't you know we can read the stuff you gray out perfectly well?

And that graying ot out doesn't hide the truth?

The show flopped, her book flopped, the pathetic Epilogue to FF is flopping, their popularity polls are flopping, the Oprah interview got booed at the NTAs in the UK and failed to beat out a foodie show at the Emmys, and Ofcom sided with Piers Morgan.

Their stock is plunging whilst the polls for the Queen and the Cambridges skyrockets.

That's the truth, sweetie. To paraphrase the Poet, "And all your greyouts shall not wipe out a word of it."

I think its hilarious! I really really hope they move to New York. I would pay to watch that.

Overstylized and still crappy!

She's doing the Angelina Jolie leg pose haha...they really are the same person.

How can a trained actress still be that bad at posing for photos? She looks incredibly awkward. And the pic that finally went on the cover of Time (I didn't know it was still around) is just plain bizarre. I don't hate them, and I certainly don't like them -- but seriously, the "most influential couple in the world"? That's just insane.

I honestly don't think she's had much training, if any. SHE always knows best. Can you imagine her in class? Her actual degree is in communications. She was in no theater productions in college that I have seen. She's incredibly awkward, and always has been. She would never be a good actress because she's too self conscious.

R62 - That's possible. I actually know very little about her other than she was on a semi-popular cable shows for years. I assumed there was training, but perhaps not. Nonetheless, surely, she's done photo shoots before. These look like photo day at a junior high school. Was the Sears photo center with the ubiquitous sepia forest background not available?

There WAS a biopic???? I'm so out of it, and GLAD.

She must have done some theater because here she is with Katherine McPhee in stage makeup. McPhee told People they had done several musicals together.

Stage makeup? She always wears too much. Have you SEEN her bronzed cheeks?

They both have their old noses at r65.

^I don't believe Harry would have ever married THAT beak.

[Quote]They both have their old noses at [R65].

I was about to SHRIEK "OMG their fucked up noses!"

I love the TIME cover photo!

He's literally hiding behind her, while she's ignoring him and giving 100% of her attention to the camera.

LOL I love how the redtagged OP in this thread also started a JK Rowling love fest thread. The same racist, homophobic trolls seem to swarm to the same threads like a moth to a flame.

Time to pass out the milk for nap time & check the hall for any stragglers, R71. Besides these duties who died & made you the boss of us?

R71 Well, you're here, dear, aren't you?

Dayum, how many accounts DO you have? Block after block and yet here you are again.

Doesn't the cost mount up?

Their thirst will make winter so amusing. Lots more fails for sure. if they don't have the dough I just hope someone will fund more of these massive fails. It's not Schadenfreude for me, its comic relief. an they are so good for many a deep laugh.

I believe that was in high school r65. They were in school together.

R75 - You mean like lesbians? I can see it.