Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)

Everyone loves Allison Janney's harlot character, but my favorites are the pageant judges (Mo Gaffney and Nora Dunn), who spend the whole event bombed out of their wigs and having a blast.

"He sells reproductions! His furniture's as fake as my orgasms!"

"If they tell you to take your top off, get the money first."

Will Sasso as the one judge's special needs brother was a highlight.

"I'm the judge!"

"Back! Get BACK you cuddly retard!"

R4 Oh, real nice. You know the babysitter's dead!

"I says to Annette, I tell her if you talk to me durin' my stories you might as well be talkin' to the wall. You guys want some beers?"

Are we on Cops?

Iris! You taped your shows over it!

I shoved your tap shoes in my panties before I got blown outta the house!

Well, I've probably watched Fargo at least 5 or 6 times over the years. The other one I have never seen.

So that blows a big hole in your statement, OP.

I hate her! I know, we all do

Should I watch this? I've never watched this.

[quote]It's better than Heathers!

👍!

I love this movie. So many memorable characters, moments, lines, and outfits.

I'd watch this over Fargo any day.

Love this movie. I have it on dvd.

I love both movies! And both feature actress Kristin Rudrüd in supporting roles.

Ha, I just watched this the other night. It’s one of my faves. You can even still love to hate Kirstie Alley.

I told ya i would move the car if a cripple came!

Why is this so hard to find on steaming? It was on Hulu for a bit.

This movie is perfection. It should have received much more acclaim than it did. By the way Denise Richards and Kirsten Dunst are terrific in this.

It's not on streaming anywhere, and I found an article from 2019 about how it was "finally" on streaming, but that was apparently temporary. I'll try to find it through alternative means.

I caught it on HBO Max about a month ago, but they took it down.

You should definitely watch it, R12.

Do ya think a nice cool mint would help if I shoved your head up your ass?

My favorite thing in this isn't a line but a sight gag: Annette hacking away at a can of beer with her new prosthetic hook.

The Don't Cry Out Loud stage performance with the nurse pushing the wheelchair has me howling every single time.

How can you not love a movie where a girl is happy to go deaf after getting hit with a heavy sandbag?

"He's gay, dad! GAY!"

Brett Favre! RRRROWR!

"Smile" is a much better film on the same subject.

Loretta is a gay icon. Love her in the background of that scene, groping the FedEx guy.

She’s [italic]skinny[/italic] Amber, not deaf!

Sorry, I just thought she might not want to meet her maker looking like a cheap whore.

Well, this cheap whore is that family's loving mother.

Well you know what, Dad. Peter's gay. GAY!

[quote]The Don't Cry Out Loud stage performance with the nurse pushing the wheelchair has me howling every single time

Remember you almost..had it all

Warner Archives released it on Blu-ray last year. Looks great!

Colleen Douglas: While we haven't ruled out sabotage from neighboring state pageants—Iowa, Narth Dakoota, [bold]THAT BITCH FROM WISCAHNSIN[/bold] ...

Terry Macy: The important thing is we have a winner!

R38 Oh, somebody get a mop and a bucket!

In terms of laughs per minute, this has to be one of the best comedies of the past 30 years. It seems like everyone I turn on to it ends up loving it. No idea why it was such a bomb in theaters, but dark comedies always seem to flop and become cult movies later on.

This movie could never get made today! Twitter would explode with outrage.

"Hey, do you guys know the retard's fly is open?"

Also, the girl doing the Soylent Green monologue always cracks me up.

"Close up shop! Close up shop!"

A good friend of mine who actually grew up in a small town in Minnesota told me that this movie is more reality than satire than you could ever believe.

OP, this is my favorite comedy of all time! This came out when I was a teenager and I remember going to see this in the theaters several times because I loved it so much.

Kirsten Dunst, Allison Janney, Brittany Murphy, and even Denise Richards were all perfection in this. They really don't make movies like this one anymore—and couldn't now, given the PC police.

Lona Williams, who wrote the script, based it on her own pageant experiences—she won Minnesota's Junior Miss and was national first runner-up in 1985. "Mount Rose" = Rosemount, her hometown. Her working title for the script was [italic]Dairy Queens.[/italic]

Fun fact: She played Jean Kangas, Lester Leeman's pitiful wretch of a secretary.

We were at war with the Japs....

Speak ENGRISH, you stupid little retard!

Just ordered the Blu-Ray.

I enjoy how they're using the word retard as if it's the most normal thing to do.

Excuse me, "Miss Penthouse '98", put your knees together. I could drive a boat show in there.

"Help yourselves to some coffee and bahrs."

Just about every line in this movie is endlessly quotable.

Somehow, this movie still has many Gen Y fans, so I don't know if it would be canceled. Termed as "problematic" perhaps, but many people still seem to love it. I think maybe because it's so ridiculous like a live action episode of South Park. It makes just about everyone out to be awful trash.

"I mean, if yer seventeen and yer not a total fry ... it's just whatcha do."

EEEEEEEEYAAAND tendu-close! Tendu-close! Tendu-close! [bold]PLIÉ[/bold]!

Lona Williams in the final five at America's Junior Miss 1985 (co-hosted by a certain vivacious lady Republican)

"Never have kids, Loretta."

"Well, god bless ya' for thinkin' I still could."

[quote]"Hey, do you guys know the retard's fly is open?"

Followed in short succession by "The tard's pants are completely OFF."

I'd like to take ya back seventeen years, when a peanut farmer was in the White House, a group-a boys callin' themselves "Queen" topped the record charts, and Gladys Leeman was Gladys Wood and she was Mount Rose American Teen Princess!

Amy Adams is great in this.

^ I had a friend like Leslie Miller in college: a slut with a heart of gold.

SARAH ROSE KNOWS you're a beautiful person.

SARAH ROSE KNOWS you have an unusual talent.

SARAH ROSE KNOWS you're a teenage girl.

AND SHE DEFINITELY KNOWS you are ready for the ultimate in TEEN GLAMOUR!

I’m not sure if it’s a non-US rights issue, but it recently became available on steaming services in the UK.

It’s one of my favourite films.

Oh my gahd, lights, camera, and me without can stitch of makeup on!

^ *a*

They remade my belly with skin from my butt!

Well, yeah, Tammy liked to drive her dad's thresher, but I mean ... I mean, she said the heavy vibration helped her think. But I know for a fact Tammy only smoked AFTER a good drive! You ask me or anyone who isn't scared to talk about it—Tammy was [italic]murdered.[/italic]

This is just so inappropriate.....and so fucking funny.

This pageant's like a Roach Motel: girls check in, but they don't check out.

I think I’m like, due or something,

That filth is better left to the sin cities...aka Minneapolis, St Paul.

I like this movie, but I think I might like "Election" with Reese Whither and Matthew Brod better.

I don’t think the movie was marketed well, which was part of the reason it failed at the box office. It got scathing reviews, too.

I remember laughing so hard when I saw at the theater, but the people I was with didn’t seem to get the sarcastic humor.

Fer Chrissakes, Amber, the woman clung to yer tap shoes while she was flyin' through the air like a goddamn lawn dart!

So many hilariously quotable lines, and Denise Richards was so pretty then.

I love that Allison Janney is so fond of Loretta. I read here a while back that she surprised a couple of fans at the airport who were running her lines.

One of my faves. Watch it several times a year.

I saw this in the theater and laughed aloud many times. So many delicious quotes! I used to run around and say “Jesus loves winners” for fun (not Christian).

Also each contestant was funny and quirky. That actress one was great and reminds me of how seriously high school drama kids took themselves!!!

“I can be any tree you want, just give me a minute to warm up.”

This movie has some unPC stuff but still holds up well over time!

"That's why we Lutherans use grape juice for the Blood of Christ."

"It's prettier than a whore's ass today, ain't it fellas?"

[about the town sign, which says "Home of Freda Hegstrom, Minnesota's Oldest Living Lutheran"]

"Oh, yeah, sure, Freda, sure. She was the oldest living Lutheran, now she's dead as a doornail. It's the damn Shriners who won't take down the Goddamn sign, the lazy sons of bitches. Every year, every damn year, I tell 'em, "Take down the Goddamn Freda sign, you lazy sons of bitches!"

Oh no, my mom never kept a secret of the fact my dad chose his career over us. What was it she used to say? Once a carnie, always a carnie. Mom still cries every time she sees a tilt-a-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top." - Amber

My mom always said never eat anything that takes it's house along with it. You never know the last time it's been cleaned.

One of the funniest and most quotable movies ever. Alison Janney as Loretta is brilliant.

I think the shot of Denise Richards sauntering across the stage carrying the Jesus figure to Can't Take My Eyes Off of You is one of the funniest and most brilliant things I've ever seen.

Writing the script must have been both a blast and rewarding.

I think Janney was actually more deserving of an Oscar for this role than I, Tonya.

[Quote] I mean, she said the heavy vibration helped her think.

I'll bet it did 😆

I grew up in a small town and I knew a few real-life Lorettas. Janney totally captured that particular type of woman.

[quote]"That's why we Lutherans use grape juice for the Blood of Christ."

Sidewalks, sidewalks!

[quote]Also, the girl doing the Soylent Green monologue always cracks me up.

She definitely went on to Carleton or Macalester and majored in something intersectional.

I fell in love with the Big Apple last summer when I was visiting my brother Peter there. He followed his dream all the way to New York ...

Wait, this is Peter as Liza. This is him as Madonna. This ... is [italic]Barbra.[/italic] *kisses picture*

[quote] "I'll be honest. This is a hard time for me. This is the part of the pageant when you realize that tomorrow night, all but one of these girls will walk out of here a loser. It's hard for me to know how that must feel, but I'm sure it doesn't feel good."

But ya found out, didn't ya Gladys?!

I love the Will Sasso fan who's been hanging around. The people from MadTv don't get enough credit. I'm laughing thinking about his Kenny Rogers Jackass skit.

I love how Gladys becomes a prison bitch, only to escape and start sniping from the roof of the town grocery store.

I've done about 35 pageants. The most memorable was Miss Teen America in 1995. And my roommate did Adam West—she said he was [italic]soooo[/italic] horny!

This movie is fucking hilarious and, yes, the two drunk pageant judges are a hoot.

I can sum up our entire philosophy with this glass. I can look at it and say it's half-full, which in the beauty pageant biz means "WHERE THE HELL'S MY WAITER?" ... STOP WITH THE FREAKIN' MARCO POLO OR I'LL COME OVER THERE AND RIP YER FAT LITTLE HEADS OFF!

"Somebody call a doctor!"

"A doctor? Jesus Christ call a priest!"

Yah, well, if they ask you to take your top off, get the money first.

We know, R98.

Just rewatched and noticed a huge plot hole (I think).

Kirstie Alley has rigged the contest for her daughter to win. Her husband's secretary is one of the three judges, she's killed two people and tried to kill Kirstin Dunst in the trailer explosion. She had her husband order the big, expensive Swan float for her daughter to ride in the parade the day after the pageant.

Denise Richards complains the swan reeks of gasoline. Kirstie Alley screams at her to ignore that and get to the top of the float. Then she lights a flower or something at the base of the float with a lighter. The float explodes and Kirstie goes nuts, screams at Kirstin Dunst "that was supposed to be you up there!" But she's the one who had her husband order the float from Mexico. She knew Denise Richards would win. So why is the float covered in gasoline? And even if there was some flame effect at the base, Denise Richards literally said "it smells like gasoline". Why did she add fire to a float that her daughter was on, causing the explosion?

Help!

[quote]So why is the float covered in gasoline?

It's not. It just smells like gas because it's a piece of shit built in mexico.

That should be you up there <-- because Amber was supposed to be dead already / she just wants Amber dead

No plot hole.

thx :)

R102 Let this be a reminder that we should all buy American.

I always offer to pay them off on tacos. They love that.

I told you I would move the car if a cripple came.

Pay them off while they stand on a taco?

nvm, simple typo

My only kvetch is they shouldn't have killed Denise Richards. She should have ended up in the burn unit next to Loretta.

R109 Or in the convalescent home, sharing a room with that anorexic twat who bombed with the Melissa Manchester number.

I just watched this for the first time and my partner about choked to death from laughing at the bit quoted at r81.

Don't know if Kirstie Alley's character was supposed to be a drunk but Kirstie herself was soused to the gills!

r100, I don't think she knew her daughter was going to win, I think the plan was for her daughter to come in second and someone else come in first, and they would be blown up on the float and her daughter would take over as the new queen. Amber managing to perform and come in second skewed the order of who won.

If she'd lied about who won, the judges would have surely said something, so she couldn't lie without getting caught.

Why she didn't change the plan with the swan after her daughter won is never explained, however. I disagree with the people who say there was no plot hole because there really was.

R111 you're wrong. She fixed it for Becky to win. The swan exploding was the "cheap Mexican craftsmanship".

If so, then the "it should have been you up there" speech was bad writing. She'd spent most of the movie sabotaging Amber so there's no reason to NOT take "it should have been you up there" literally.

R113 because dummy, if she hadn't rigged the votes, Amber would've won and been on the swan. And Becky would probably have been number 2 and gone to state after Amber exploded. It makes perfect sense.

Did she rig the swan or was it just an accident?

R115 the swan exploded because it was shitty craftsmanship combined with the sparklers.

Uh, if she KNEW that the swan would go off in flames, she would not have put her precious daughter even near it. In her grief, she confessed to her crimes to give her the ending she got.

That's exactly what I said: that Becky was supposed to come in second and replace the girl who would get blown up on the float.

But it couldn't have been Amber because Amber wasn't even supposed to compete. Gladys had gone out of her way to keep Amber from competing. It would have been someone else on the float, but Becky still would have been second.

Amber getting Lisa's outfit and Lisa dropping out wasn't what Gladys expected to happen and it messed up the voting results.

R118 Christ you're an idiot.

Look, the movie was hilarious, but stop twisting yourself into stupidity pretzels just to explain the poorly written ending.

The movie was hilarious and you're riding the short bus to nationals R120.

I don't know why this movie wasn't a bigger hit when it came out, it's hysterically funny.

I think these kind of witty, campy movies don't get the right PR and become cult hits, because of word of mouth. Hocus Pocus wasn't a commercial hit either.

This movie was so much better than Hocus Pocus though. HP has parts that are boring and/or annoying. This movie is funny all the way through. Fun fact: the blonde female judge who doesn’t have a single line wrote the script.

[quote] This movie was so much better than Hocus Pocus though

That wasn't the point. Cult hits usually are flops at the box office, but gained a cult following through video rental when video rental stores like Blockbuster were still a thing. Showgirls is another campy cult hit in the "so bad it's good" category of cult hits. Flop in the theaters and yet gained a cult following later on.

Is R113 / R118 having a stroke? Can you call a doctor hun?

Good lord, some of you over think this movie. Gladys made sure Becky would win. The float exploding was not planned. Her "it should have been you" line was just an hysterical mother's vindictive thinking that Amber should be dead, not Becky. The woman made sure Becky won.

Odd but I think Kirstie Alley's real personality is like the Gladys chatacter.

R127 someone with a functioning brain stem has entered the thread. Thank you.

A retrospective article from the 15th anniversary on how it was made and why it flopped.

For DL:

[quote] Alley was, by all accounts, a memorable presence on set — for better or for worse. As Jann put it, "It was my introduction to, 'Oh, that person's a huge fucking star.'" According to Williams, Alley — who declined to comment for this story — refused to wear many of the costumes chosen for her and didn't show up to fittings. Instead, she had her clothes sent to the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood and would try them on there. She also turned down working with the on-set dialect coach. Malloy recalled Alley's first day on set: "She gets up there and she announces that she's just quit smoking, she's on a diet, and she's got her period. And she's not fucking kidding." While Malloy was quick to interject that Alley ended up doing a great job with the role, Williams is less charitable in her assessment of Alley's overall performance. "I didn't think she was funny," she said. "That, to me, was the biggest crime, regardless of her attitude or her 'I will or won't do this.' If you're really great, I don't think any of that matters in the end. But I just didn't find her funny." Ever the optimist, Sterling maintained that Alley was a joy to work with, and a "hoot" on set. "At one point, we were working on something and she looks at me and goes, 'Maybe I should have read the script,'" Sterling recounted. "And it just made me laugh." Hearing that anecdote for the first time, Williams is less convinced it was a joke. Her response to Alley's "maybe I should have read the script" comment was a sardonic "You think?"

And the link for R129

I think movies likevthis don't make it in theaters is because they are too subversive and satirical for many people. They don't get it and think the dialogue is supposed to be taken seriously. Basic dimwits. I had family members watch it and you could tell they just didn't get the humor.

Correct r131

I believe any movie can be a financial success IF you have figured out its demographic and make said demographic aware of the release of said movie. New Line didn't care (according to the article in r130 they sold the international rights before the movie was released in the US) and didn't spend money on its promotion. Once producers and the studio have lost faith in the project, it's difficult for any movie to find an audience in the movie theater.

PR is even more important now with the mainstream being constantly bombarded with PR for a blockbuster starting a year before its release. It's no wonder that sometimes the cost of PR is almost as high as making the movie itself. These days it's not just about finding the demographic, but to keep their attention (and keep them emotionally invested in it) until the movie is released. It's like creating a time sensitive cult with the sole focus on showing up and buying a ticket at the movie's release date.

When I saw it with friends during its original run, there were only a handful of people in the theatre besides us.

There were lots of goofy female skewing comedies that failed during that time. It was the age of rom-coms, which is what women wanted to see and paid to see. One might argue the humor is actually more male skewing--this movie feels more like THE SIMPSONS or RENO 911 (which the writer and director both worked on).,

Ultimately, it comes down to opening weekend. Reviews were bad. It opened at $4 million. There's no coming back from that. There's no word of mouth that can save an opening like that.

[quote]Will Sasso, who gave it his all as Hank, the mentally challenged brother of pageant judge Harold (Michael McShane), admits to being flattered when people approach him about Drop Dead Gorgeous — even when they tell him they thought he was actually cognitively impaired after seeing his performance.

The title of the film was changed from Lona Williams's original choice of [italic]Dairy Queens[/italic] after Dairy Queen corporate got wind of it and threatened to sue. A dick move, of course, but [italic]Drop Dead Gorgeous[/italic] was perfect.

One of my favorite touches is a small one. Look closely at that picture of Lisa and Peter, when he's dressed as Barbra Streisand. Maybe it's me, but I think she's forcing a smile in that one.

It's unfortunate that Lona Williams had such a difficult time during filming. Her brilliant writing was the magic ingredient.

R137 The new title works better. Their pageant had nothing at all to do with cows or the dairy industry. Also, Dairy Queen comes from Illinois, not Minnesota.

^ Oh, I definitely agree. It was a case of making lemonade from lemons.

Dairy Queens would've been a STUPID title

Shannon Nelson, an actress with an extensive background in musical theatre, was cast against type and uglied up to play Tess.

[quote]I think movies likevthis don't make it in theaters is because they are too subversive and satirical for many people. They don't get it and think the dialogue is supposed to be taken seriously. Basic dimwits. I had family members watch it and you could tell they just didn't get the humor.

This is SO true about such a large segment of the public. Really.

R144 It's common in America today.

"You're using big words at me that I don't fully understand, so I'm going to assume they're insults."

I love this movie but let’s not pretend it’s some cerebral masterpiece that only the most sophisticated people can understand.

It’s funny as shit and that’s all it needs to be.

The need to make yourself feel superior by positioning yourself as smarter than others who are "too stupid to get the humor" is juvenile.

Drop Dead Gorgeous was a mockumentary that came out at a time when there were some very good mockumentaries, Waiting for Guffman and To Die For of course, The Candidate and Husbands & Wives as well. Black comedies were also very popular in the 1990s, and I'd say DDG has a similar feel to Death Becomes Her and Welcome to the Dollhouse, there's a little Feeling Minnesota and Serial Mom in there, too.

DDG doesn't measure up to those films in terms of raw filmmaking, i.e. continuity, editing, writing. I've only seen it once and in that one viewing noticed a handful of scenes where an important prop noticeably went missing, or an outfit changed mid-scene, or a character went from being really happy to incredibly disappointed and there was no reason for it.

AND THAT'S FINE. Saying these things doesn't mean I think the movie is awful or that I hated it. Mentioning problems isn't a personal attack on its fans, either. It's disappointing to come to a thread to talk about a movie, say something pretty mild about a flaw, and get "you're a retard short bus dumbfuck cunt having a stroke" from the same people who are saying "I'm smarter than the rest of my family because I love this movie and they don't."

This movie is the only thing I've ever been able to watch Kirstie Alley in, outside of Cheers.

I liked her Veronica's Closet.

I liked Veronica's Closet too. And all of the Look Who's Talking movies.

You dudes above never watched Kirstie in Showtime's "Fat Actress?"

R147 you are taking the movie too seriously and the fact is a lot of people don't get the humor. Some people need physical, slapstick humor and that is all they "get".

“Some people need physical, slapstick humor and that is all they ‘get’. “

R152, there’s a scene where a woman explodes through the roof of a trailer and gets a beercan melted to her hand.

Love it. Love the movie. Love all the dark moments, love all the big broad moments. But guuuuuuuurl.

It's one of my rainy day favorites R153. Pop it in a few times a year along with the two Brady Bunch movies, The Big Tease and knock back cocktails. Back to back fun.

Satire is essentially dead these days. People are so literal and surface-level.

Iris: [italic]Amber Atkins![/italic] That is not American Teen Princess language!

Amber: That's because this isn't an American Teen Princess pageant! This is ... this is ... this is ... [bold]NAZI GERMANY!!![/bold]

Hi, Annette! I got some!

Christ, if it’s another stray bullet to the head, I’m gonna need more caps.

R158, are you in the wrong thread? The Alex Murdaugh thread is one this way.