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Strict division between tops and bottoms

Reading comments on Datalounge I have noticed a tendency to divide gay men strictly in tops and bottoms and putting every men that doesnt look like Stallone or Schwarzenegger in bottom category. As for gay couples, I noticed a lot of Dataloungers almost asking "who is the man and who is the woman", like my grandpa. Is this division real in your lives or are these people eldergays whose prime was in Doris Day era?

by Anonymousreply 161October 22, 2021 3:34 PM

Quick Autocorrect for Grammar Nazi: "every man"

by Anonymousreply 1August 21, 2021 9:17 AM

Tops and bottoms aren't as easily identifiable by looks/mannerisms/etc, as some assume.

And strict tops and bottoms aren't as prolific as some assume.

Life's a little more complicated than that.

by Anonymousreply 2August 21, 2021 9:52 AM

R2 I agree.

by Anonymousreply 3August 21, 2021 8:57 PM

OP you clearly don't know gay men in real life if you think top/bottom jokes are just a DL thing.

by Anonymousreply 4August 21, 2021 9:11 PM

There's a lot of shit-talking and a constant flood of opinions on DL, but not nearly as much lived experience. The most frequent posters are social outcasts for whom life is largely experienced through the Internet and other electronic mediums, so what you see is at best a deeply distorted view of the totality of the gay experience.

by Anonymousreply 5August 21, 2021 9:16 PM

Visarionovic , if a guy is "vers " on Grindr, I pass. I want a real top.

by Anonymousreply 6August 21, 2021 9:53 PM

Well, at least you're not embarrassed to admit you're a bitchy bottom

by Anonymousreply 7August 21, 2021 9:54 PM

Masc4Masc here.a top must be a top, a bottom must be a slutty bitch. That's the rule of nature

by Anonymousreply 8August 21, 2021 9:56 PM

My ass and mouth need to be pounded raw

by Anonymousreply 9August 21, 2021 10:15 PM

There are a few tops and a whole bunch of bottoms. Sometimes, some of those bottoms like to pretend they’re tops, but they can never be the real thing.

by Anonymousreply 10August 21, 2021 10:21 PM

A butter knife can dream of being a jackhammer, but that won't make it so.

by Anonymousreply 11August 21, 2021 10:25 PM

LOL at the "tops " who ask if they can suck my dick. OUTA HERE!

by Anonymousreply 12August 21, 2021 10:27 PM

Bottoms who think a being a top means you don't suck dick are weird r12. Any guy who doesn't want their dick engaged at all I wonder if they are secretly trans or something.

by Anonymousreply 13August 21, 2021 10:29 PM

If a top wants to pleasure me I run away

by Anonymousreply 14August 21, 2021 10:30 PM

EXACTLY R14 ! R13 when I want to use my dick I use it with a frau. When I want a man I want a MAN

by Anonymousreply 15August 21, 2021 10:31 PM

Yeah, I have no interest in dick at all...just ass. Never been into it. However, a bottom who doesn't like his dick or wants to forget it exists...just a bit weird for me. At least acknowledge it...?

by Anonymousreply 16August 21, 2021 10:36 PM

R16, what are jockstraps for ?

by Anonymousreply 17August 21, 2021 10:36 PM

Ignore my needs and use my mouth and ass be selfish

by Anonymousreply 18August 21, 2021 10:39 PM

Fuck yeah R18. Spit on me, call me a piece of shit, hurt me, ignore me, be a MAN

by Anonymousreply 19August 21, 2021 10:40 PM

Stallone definitely is a bottom. Arnie is a power top though.

by Anonymousreply 20August 21, 2021 10:41 PM

R17 - major turn off for me...it's honestly even weird for a gay man. I mean, I like men and everything about them...jock straps, lack of pride (witness R19), and all the other crap is a turn off for me despite the fact that I am a top. I want my partner to enjoy his body and mine. Sorry, otherwise...they seem damaged and I may be wrong but it's just how I feel. A gorgeous man who understands he is beautiful...now THAT is a turn on.

by Anonymousreply 21August 21, 2021 10:44 PM

pERFECT. He doesn't even shoot in the bottom's mouth

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 22August 21, 2021 10:45 PM

[quote] r me despite the fact that I am a top.

Or so YOU say. You sure ain't a top for me, sissy!

by Anonymousreply 23August 21, 2021 10:46 PM

R13, I agree. What guy doesn't want their dick sucked? That's so weird to me

by Anonymousreply 24August 21, 2021 10:47 PM

Same r14.

by Anonymousreply 25August 21, 2021 10:48 PM

A top who wants to PLEASE a bottom ? Yuck. weak.

by Anonymousreply 26August 21, 2021 10:50 PM

no wonder you're single R21. grow a pair

by Anonymousreply 27August 21, 2021 10:51 PM

I'm telling you, if you freak out because your sexual partner wants to acknowledge your dick...it sounds like you wish you didn't have a dick at all.

by Anonymousreply 28August 21, 2021 10:55 PM

R28, meet R15

by Anonymousreply 29August 21, 2021 10:57 PM

R23 and R27 sound like trans. Being an exclusive top doesn't mean catering to a damaged millennial or younger. The older bottoms didn't complain when I fucked them and felt them up and them kind of held them in a huge bear grasp when they moaned. If you want to be degraded and spit on you aren't looking for a man...you are looking for a dominatrix. Also, you are probably damaged and not accepting of your own gender....a MAJOR turn-off and why I always pursue older bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 30August 21, 2021 11:13 PM

This argument is so tired. I give great blowjobs and I know how to throw a good fuck, but in the vast scheme of things this focus only on our sexuality is belittling, discouraging, and disappointing.

Are you kind? Are you able to help right a wrong? Are you responsible and socially involved/informed--with people not your effing social media? Are you compassionate, loving, generous?

We are so much more than dick and ass, top or bottom.

by Anonymousreply 31August 21, 2021 11:13 PM

[quote]The older bottoms didn't complain when I fucked them

we didn't dare. We were afraid you would start crying, did you see us a second time ? that's your answer gurl

by Anonymousreply 32August 21, 2021 11:15 PM

R31 you must be so BORING. Are you actually getting any ? thought so

by Anonymousreply 33August 21, 2021 11:16 PM

R30 not hot.

by Anonymousreply 34August 21, 2021 11:38 PM

R30 = pussy

by Anonymousreply 35August 21, 2021 11:40 PM

What percentage of tops and of bottoms refer to the bottom's hole as his "mancunt"?

by Anonymousreply 36August 22, 2021 12:21 AM

0% R36. PUSSY is the word

by Anonymousreply 37August 22, 2021 12:22 AM

So many guys say they're a top until that door closes and their legs fly into the air.

by Anonymousreply 38August 22, 2021 12:28 AM

[quote] We are so much more than dick and ass, top or bottom.

You're not really gay, are you.

by Anonymousreply 39August 22, 2021 3:04 AM

I am the existential ass, the ectoplasmic orgasm ejaculated from a paranormal penis!

by Anonymousreply 40August 22, 2021 3:32 AM

R34 - my exes would beg to differ. Then again, they are older and more secure men....don't date millennials. Then again, I haven't ever had any problems getting younger ass, even with the COVID weight. Respectably hung tops with looks usually don't. Also, we can afford to discriminate.

by Anonymousreply 41August 22, 2021 8:58 AM

R6 Hey future husband, how are you. Dont worry , I ll be the ral top in our marriage. But no more Grindr after wedding. You know I m a guy from Balkans.

by Anonymousreply 42August 22, 2021 9:21 AM

OKay Balkan stud

by Anonymousreply 43August 22, 2021 9:27 AM

What about the “blouse”, the feminine top?

by Anonymousreply 44August 22, 2021 9:30 AM

R44 Never heard, what is it, effeminate top?

by Anonymousreply 45August 22, 2021 9:36 AM

R41 millenials are 40+ by now, you fucking fossil, no one wants to date you

by Anonymousreply 46August 22, 2021 9:40 AM

R46 - I fucked 2 in the last 2 months though. Strictly as I was pressed for time. Also, I am not 43. I don't want to date THEM. My rule is nobody under 45, except for a fuck. Given the top to bottom ratio, it's NEVER problem. Especially when they find out I don't and haven't ever bottomed in my life or sucked a cock. I rim and I top. Period. Don't do bareback and don't fuck around with damaged babies who want to be degraded. Also, skinny, smooth little bodies don't do it. Give me a slightly portly older bottom, over 45, nelly and who can talk about SOMETHING and I take him out, hang out, have drinks and rim and fuck him into oblivion. THAT is a gay MAN who and the sex is mindblowing...the rest remind me of the whole "binary" and BS crowd with the whiny voice and "literal violence" that is a complete dick wilter. Hell, fucking a woman sounds better...least she knows she's a woman and owns it.

by Anonymousreply 47August 22, 2021 10:58 AM

[quote] Also, I am ONLY 43.

Correction. And I am 6 feet tall and, according to most, pretty good looking. Women still flirt with me everywhere I go...and there is no shortage of good looking young guys out here. IT guys aren't Zuckerberg dorks in Romania...they are macho and date the best looking women around. Then again, you sound like you judge by stereotypes. Tops HAVE to be assholes and bottoms have to be "wimpy" and "faggish". See why it's a turn off? I have seen macho nelly guys in France, here, Spain...people aren't stereotypes from some tired US suburb.

by Anonymousreply 48August 22, 2021 11:13 AM

If you read this thread as a parody, it's actually sort of funny.

Sadly though, I think some of the posters are not keeping in that spirit and expressing their true feelings.

by Anonymousreply 49August 22, 2021 11:38 AM

R41 is english a third language for you ?

by Anonymousreply 50August 22, 2021 12:25 PM

[QUOTE] Also, I am ONLY 43. Correction. And I am 6 feet tall and, according to most, pretty good looking. Women still flirt with me everywhere I


Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 51August 22, 2021 12:32 PM

R51 = frustrated bottom who is 350 lbs.

by Anonymousreply 52August 22, 2021 12:50 PM

R41 = triggered and crying

by Anonymousreply 53August 22, 2021 1:35 PM

This rigid dichotomy emerged after HIV. In the bronze age we were happy to find a willing parter that we actually liked as a person. Who did what to who - you sorted out along the way

by Anonymousreply 54August 22, 2021 1:58 PM

[QUOTE] willing parter that we actually liked as a person

what does that mean ? how could you "like a partner as a person " ? did you know their name and everything ?

by Anonymousreply 55August 22, 2021 2:03 PM

R12, R14, R18, R23 Well girls, I dont want to preach, but I am genuinely worried about your self confidence. Not mocking you, quite the opposite I think you should value yourself more. My future husband at R6 and I will have a traditional relationship, but the one with respect and affection, not degradation, and you shouldnt let some sadistic assholes to treat you like dirt.

by Anonymousreply 56August 22, 2021 2:47 PM

hu....darling, I AM R12/R23.

by Anonymousreply 57August 22, 2021 2:50 PM

[quote] What guy doesn't want their dick sucked?

Most bottoms don't.

by Anonymousreply 58August 22, 2021 2:58 PM

R57 OMG, I seem like an insensitive top, i cant even recognize my fiance. You should know before marriage that I am not some kind of brute just because I am from Balkans. I am a gentle and protective guy. Never mind, we ll have to do some marraige therapy.

by Anonymousreply 59August 22, 2021 2:59 PM

I'll wake up the balkanic beast in you

by Anonymousreply 60August 22, 2021 3:01 PM

serbian muscle

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 61August 22, 2021 3:03 PM

This article is slander!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 62August 22, 2021 3:13 PM

R58 Why? Are they ashamed of their dick?

by Anonymousreply 63August 22, 2021 3:25 PM

Maybe among guys who take being a total bottom as a big part of their identity r58, but that doesn't describe all guys who like to bottom by a long shot.

Its fine as a hook up, but I wouldn't date/hook up on a regular basis with a guy who never wanted me want to me touch or suck his dick.

by Anonymousreply 64August 22, 2021 3:27 PM

Are there many guys who really don’t want their dicks touched???

by Anonymousreply 65August 22, 2021 3:29 PM

My bottom puts on his jock when he wants his dick ignored. When he is not wearing the jock I let him wank while I fuck him.

by Anonymousreply 66August 22, 2021 3:30 PM

That remind me of very religious catholic women in the past centuries, who wanted to have sex through the hole in their nightgown, and took pride that their husbands never touched (with hands) or seen their intimate parts.

by Anonymousreply 67August 22, 2021 3:32 PM

R66 That is very woke of you to call a man "my bottom"

by Anonymousreply 68August 22, 2021 3:36 PM

Where is my fiance. That Masc4masc is suspicious, he might have stole him because he would ne attractive for him with that nick, but I would kick him in the balls if he tries something funny with my future husband.

by Anonymousreply 69August 22, 2021 4:08 PM

I am also "Masc4masc" honey

by Anonymousreply 70August 22, 2021 4:09 PM

Its a relief, because I thought he might have taken you, but it will be hard with you, how many personas have you got?

by Anonymousreply 71August 22, 2021 4:11 PM

On a good day, 2

by Anonymousreply 72August 22, 2021 4:27 PM

There are certain men who I want to fuck; others that I want to be fucked by. Hope that makes sense.

by Anonymousreply 73August 22, 2021 4:29 PM

lmfao. OP and his passive aggressive fiancé are hilarious

by Anonymousreply 74August 22, 2021 4:32 PM

R72 I m afraid to ask about the bad day

by Anonymousreply 75August 22, 2021 4:32 PM

If I'm in a good mood, I'm Frenchie, the nice, kind, sweet guy from french descent. If I'm in a bad mood, I'm the slutty and evil SloppyH

by Anonymousreply 76August 22, 2021 4:35 PM

You re so misterious it feels like Im marrying a woman.

by Anonymousreply 77August 22, 2021 4:38 PM

I'll like to make a good comfy little home for my top, I'm a very good househusb

by Anonymousreply 78August 22, 2021 4:47 PM

Nice, cos I see youre not the type of simple guy to drink beer and watch a football match together.

by Anonymousreply 79August 22, 2021 4:59 PM

It ll be more like Rhett Butler and Scarlett o Hara relationship.

by Anonymousreply 80August 22, 2021 5:00 PM

I don't drink alcohol honey, but I would suck you while you're watching TV

by Anonymousreply 81August 22, 2021 5:08 PM

But Im tolerant, you can watch some soup operas too

by Anonymousreply 82August 22, 2021 6:05 PM

like mushroom soup ?

by Anonymousreply 83August 22, 2021 6:06 PM

visarionovic, I don't know where you got the idea that I'm the effeminate type. I'm a muscle bottom and I am quite masc and macho

by Anonymousreply 84August 22, 2021 6:08 PM

Aha, youre the Grammar Nazi! I almost married the Grammar Nazi!

by Anonymousreply 85August 22, 2021 6:08 PM

have we broken up already ?

by Anonymousreply 86August 22, 2021 6:09 PM

Haha, I brought an agressive guy willing to fight out of you, see youre not that sweet passive bottom willing to please

by Anonymousreply 87August 22, 2021 6:14 PM

R87 when ? are we fighting ? our first fight ?

by Anonymousreply 88August 22, 2021 6:18 PM

Im glad you ve shown your claws, I was worried that you might be without self confidence, but I was wrong. But now Im self conscious writting knowing you are Grammar Nazi

by Anonymousreply 89August 22, 2021 6:22 PM

sweety I don't care about your grammar, I care about your dark good looks, your lanky, hairy body, your musky smell and your big cock

by Anonymousreply 90August 22, 2021 6:25 PM

Actually, I smell very nice.

by Anonymousreply 91August 22, 2021 6:44 PM

Why is R75 through r91 talking to himself?

by Anonymousreply 92August 22, 2021 7:20 PM

R92 Not talking to myself, but to my sweet young fiance.

by Anonymousreply 93August 22, 2021 8:31 PM

r93 Honey...this is a bit awkward...I'm over 50...BUT I LOOK VERY YOUNG

by Anonymousreply 94August 23, 2021 5:45 AM

Nobody is perfect. Its important that youre young at heart

by Anonymousreply 95August 23, 2021 7:23 AM

Overall, generally speaking, boomers and, to a somewhat lesser extent, Gen-Xers have had much stricter gender-role bullshit drilled into their heads from childhood onward. And, yeah, that's reflected in common perspectives on sex-position-roles and perceptions of the masculinity/femininity of those roles.

A lot of older gay men desperately tried to be 'heterosexual-adjacent', 'straight-acting', 'not like the flamers & femmes', etc.

I think it's very safe to say that a lot of their rage toward any kind of ambiguity/fluidity/in-betweenness in sexuality/gender is tied to that. They like pure, clear-cut, unchanging, traditional, binary categories to put people into (man/woman, straight/gay, top/bottom, masc/femme).

I mean, the existence of bisexuals still pisses off a lot of them (many still claim that bisexuals are just pretending to be bi). Don't expect them to suddenly get enlightened about the top/bottom false dichotomies... unless you're prepared for disappointment.

by Anonymousreply 96August 23, 2021 8:16 AM

R13 They are trannies but most will never will have the guts to go all out.

by Anonymousreply 97August 23, 2021 8:22 AM

R94 I should only inform my mama that her son in law will be closer to her age. How many over 50, not 20?

by Anonymousreply 98August 23, 2021 8:35 AM

R96, Well said!

by Anonymousreply 99August 23, 2021 8:36 AM

Why do I get the feeling that most people on this thread are just pretending they're gay men?

by Anonymousreply 100August 23, 2021 8:57 AM

Being a polite person, I never EVER began any sort of conversation with the question, "are you a top or a bottom"? Nor did I start a conversation with "do you have a big dick"? These questions used to be part of the mystery and fun of picking someone up and bringing him home. Without a clear answer on those questions in advance, people were more likely to be mentally prepared to be versatile. My experience was that, while some people took to the role of top more naturally than others, when push came to shove (so to speak), the vast majority of gay men were able to be versatile no matter their preference, and sometimes relished taking the position to which they were less accustomed. I have one long time friend who insisted for decades that he was basically a top. I would just roll my eyeballs, because the first time we met, I fucked him. When quizzed about it, (which I've already stated I think is impolite) I always say that I'm versatile. That has caused many a cynical gay to say, "oh, that means you're a bottom" - and then I take him home and fuck him. I haven't bottomed in decades - but I still consider myself versatile, because when I was in the height of my sexual activities (basically age 21-40), I enjoyed bottoming just as much as topping. Then I only topped for the next 15 years, and now I'd say that I've lost most of my interest in both (except seeing it in porn videos), and only want to have oral sex with people.

by Anonymousreply 101August 23, 2021 9:02 AM

I find total bottoms to be a turn-off, I am not really interested in any man who is completely passive and essentially just sees themselves as a hole. Be a fucking MAN who loves getting your dick sucked, your hole eaten and fucked, and once in a while likes to flip and fuck like a stallion yourself. Extremes of anything usually aren't healthy, or interesting at all to me.

by Anonymousreply 102August 23, 2021 9:59 AM

R96 I dont like labels neither, but must admit that I have some problems understanding bisexuality, except in very young guys who are still exploring their sexuality. There is a very rooted belief that bisexual men are gays who dont want to admit to the world and themselves they are into men. Or nowadays, in America, seems like some straight guys in showbiz claim this to attract attention. Also there are some sketchy types that would fuck anything with the pulse but I dont know whether to call that bisexuality cos I think those types see sex just as domination. But I try to be open minded, I see maybe its because I myself am mono, not stereo. I would like to hear from real bisexuals, or someone who knows some of them.

by Anonymousreply 103August 23, 2021 10:19 AM

R102 - you make my point (except I don't get fucked or suck cock) but a man, even the nelliest, has to be a man.

R100 - because the majority of the posts are by screwed up younger Millennials or Gen Z types. They don't have to be gay or even talk about sex. This is how they are all the time...about EVERYTHING. Can you imagine coming home to one every day? Can you blame me when I say if I don't find a partner who is over 45 now, in 2021, by the time I turn 55, I will marry a woman for companionship and caretaking? Seriously. These aren't even men, women, trans...just a screwy living and (worst of all) talking temper tantrum.

by Anonymousreply 104August 23, 2021 11:18 AM

I don't understand the huge difference between rimming and giving a blow-job. Yes, I get that they involve different body parts. But to say you'll do one (rim) and not the other (give a blow job) doesn't make that much sense to me. You're still orally pleasuring a man and, arguably, by doing so, in a somewhat submissive position. (Nothing wrong with that.)

by Anonymousreply 105August 23, 2021 5:26 PM

[quote] I find total bottoms to be a turn-off

Shut your face, you nasty piece of foreign trash.

by Anonymousreply 106August 24, 2021 6:19 AM

Yes OP we have evolved into a heteronormative strict t/b bifurcation. I blame gay marriage. Now you can tell top and bottoms apart like Morlocks and elois.

by Anonymousreply 107August 24, 2021 11:57 AM

All this fear and division. MARY

by Anonymousreply 108August 24, 2021 12:25 PM

I'm a man. I like men. I like my body, I love the male physique. I like what two men can do with each other's bodies. I like when we suck each other and take turns fucking each other. I like when we show each other what we've got. To me, that's a whole lot of pleasure. I let prospective partners know my standing. If you are a strict "anything" I'm not interested.

by Anonymousreply 109August 25, 2021 12:25 AM

Back when I was a youngling, this eldergay loved being versatile. And had many thanks for it.

by Anonymousreply 110August 25, 2021 12:34 AM

All of my friends are what one would call "versatile". Neither top not bottom. In fact, most seem to not indulge in anal sex at all.

by Anonymousreply 111August 25, 2021 1:25 AM

Still waiting for those real gay men to comment ...

by Anonymousreply 112August 25, 2021 5:26 AM

R111 no, you would call them versatile. I would call them bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 113August 25, 2021 5:28 AM

R113 - Bitch if a man is topping and bottoming, he is versatile. Do you understand what the word "versatile" means in this context?

by Anonymousreply 114August 25, 2021 5:15 PM

Vers = Bottom in disguise

by Anonymousreply 115August 25, 2021 5:19 PM

R114 = Bottom in denial

by Anonymousreply 116August 25, 2021 5:23 PM

R100, hardly any millennials or Gen z people are posting here. It's mostly eldergays so blame them for the posts here

by Anonymousreply 117August 25, 2021 5:36 PM

Someone's trolling, my lord, kum-bah-yah

DLers are biting my lord, kum-bah-yah

Arguing fiercely, my lord, kum-bah-yah

Trolls troll, kum-bah-yah

by Anonymousreply 118August 25, 2021 5:39 PM

Dejure is a millennial, R117. Or claims to be.

by Anonymousreply 119August 25, 2021 5:42 PM

I am a millennial but I am very much not scene and never have been. The scene millennials all subscribe to the “vers” myth.

by Anonymousreply 120August 25, 2021 5:44 PM

The op is clearly a woman.

by Anonymousreply 121August 25, 2021 5:51 PM

im GenZ

by Anonymousreply 122August 25, 2021 5:59 PM

R121 Yes, Im a trans teenage girl

by Anonymousreply 123August 25, 2021 6:02 PM

strictly a bottom.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 124August 25, 2021 7:02 PM

R121 But with a big girldick

by Anonymousreply 125August 25, 2021 8:39 PM

R124 I’m thinking asexual.

by Anonymousreply 126August 26, 2021 3:52 AM

OP, shut the fuck up! Sex has become so much better since gay men started embracing their preferred sexual roles. Oh my God, I remember the lame 90s, hooking up with men and not knowing what you were gonna’ get. Just stop with romanticizing of the way things were. Jesus Christ!

by Anonymousreply 127August 29, 2021 4:05 PM

R127 Dont you like some suspense?

by Anonymousreply 128August 29, 2021 4:07 PM

R128 Hi there, R127 here. No, I like some good sex though. It’s funny you mention “suspense”. I remember, late 90s, arriving at the conclusion that the whole game of chasing other men was so much funnier than the actual act. I briefly went through a depression because of it. From the early 2000s to the present things have gotten soooo much better. The expectation of clean holes, good anal sex, clear delineation between top and bottom.

by Anonymousreply 129August 29, 2021 4:16 PM

R129 Expectations are nice, but how it ends is another thing. You can expect and hope for good sex but its not guaranteed. But sometimes the wooing can be fun as well.

by Anonymousreply 130August 29, 2021 4:31 PM

I was expecting the wedding, but my fiance ran away

by Anonymousreply 131August 29, 2021 4:37 PM

😁 = smelling cookies

by Anonymousreply 132August 29, 2021 4:41 PM

The strict top/bottom thing is mostly a relic of an older generation.

by Anonymousreply 133August 29, 2021 5:29 PM

r5 That paragraph should be a click through warning whenever someone arrives at this website. :)

by Anonymousreply 134August 29, 2021 5:53 PM

[quote] I was expecting the wedding, but my fiance ran away

I'm sorry darling, something unexpected came up out of the blue, almost. I was invited for a trip , a little holiday on the french riviera, nothing extravagant, I'm back now, all yours

by Anonymousreply 135August 29, 2021 11:18 PM

R133 no, it’s not. These terms have been made more relevant in recent years.

by Anonymousreply 136August 30, 2021 12:19 AM

OP, the top/bottom divide is much like the gay/straight one - the DL believes no other options exist.

by Anonymousreply 137August 30, 2021 12:20 AM

[quote] The strict top/bottom thing is mostly a relic of an older generation.

That's right! The younger generation does NOT restrict itself to strict top/bottom roles!

Our sexuality is "let's be ambivalent about what kind of sex we want - and literally everything in life - until we annoy the absolute fuck out of each other/our potential partners and everyone goes home frustrated."

But hey, at least we didn't force some old, outdated idea on someone!

by Anonymousreply 138August 30, 2021 12:23 AM

Oh FFS r138 it just means that younger gay men are more versatile. Of course there are still strict top/bottoms but versatility is more common than it used to be. Take your out-of-touch old ass shaking your fist at the wind and fuck right off.

by Anonymousreply 139August 30, 2021 12:25 AM

Versatility has been way more common than anyone thinks. Top/bottom BS arose with the apps.

by Anonymousreply 140August 30, 2021 1:54 AM

R135 Hey, you must be even handsomer well tenned. What places have you been?

by Anonymousreply 141August 30, 2021 8:34 PM

R140 do you prefer naive or ignorant?

by Anonymousreply 142August 30, 2021 8:38 PM

R139 It has nothing to do with versatility, you daft cunt.

The app culture has made ambivalent, whiny bitches out of many gay men, who negotiate or talk a potential hookup to death and then complain that they're unwanted and/or think that they're asexual.

by Anonymousreply 143August 31, 2021 1:40 PM

r143 there have always been flaky gay guys who are indecisive about a hookup. Back in the days of hooking up in bars there were guys like that.

by Anonymousreply 144August 31, 2021 1:43 PM

I love to bottom, but I love other guy’s asses, everything about them. What does that make me?

by Anonymousreply 145August 31, 2021 1:45 PM

R140 surejan.gif

by Anonymousreply 146August 31, 2021 2:03 PM

R138 The interesting thing is that, as a millennial who does believe in strictly assigned roles, I never ever advertised my role when I used to use the app. IMO, there is just something so crass, slutty, and pessimistic about advertising your role, as it assumes that all encounters will lead to sex and dehumanizes the person down to a sex position.

And yet, I can confidently say that I have never once experienced anyone doubting that I would be the bottom. There is just something in my eyes that lets the world know that I’m a strict bottom.

by Anonymousreply 147August 31, 2021 2:27 PM

And then there are the rare homosexual unicorns like me who are not turned on by anal sex at all and are oral only.

by Anonymousreply 148August 31, 2021 3:05 PM

R144 It’s even easier to be flaky from the convenience of your phone. I could see how it’s gotten worse

by Anonymousreply 149August 31, 2021 9:28 PM

R147 I agree with you. I have nothing against people having a preference in sexual role-position, I do too, but its silly when a persone is defined by role, or when someone calls a person by his sexusl position, "my bottom", how ugly. Or when someone proudly intriduces himself as a top. Anyhow, guys who like to bottom are dominant in my experience. Like my fiance who left me yesterday.

by Anonymousreply 150September 3, 2021 9:20 PM

Heteronormativity is damaging gay relationships. Enough with the tops and bottoms

by Anonymousreply 151September 3, 2021 9:27 PM

R148, that’s not rare. You must not keep up with all the articles and forums about it

by Anonymousreply 152September 4, 2021 4:16 PM

Total top are still viewed as more desirable add more manly. Facts.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 153September 5, 2021 1:11 AM

I can't date a guy unless he's versatile. No exceptions.

by Anonymousreply 154September 5, 2021 1:17 AM

And there are guys who only are interested in guys who are 100% one role strictly. People Have different tastes

by Anonymousreply 155September 5, 2021 1:21 AM


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by Anonymousreply 156September 5, 2021 2:47 PM

R156 Then I am a virgin!

by Anonymousreply 157September 5, 2021 3:04 PM

R154 is a sick perv.

by Anonymousreply 158October 13, 2021 9:27 PM

I'm a mostly bottom masculine gay guy but I also love taking control and being sucked. I've top many guys that lied to me about their preferences, but I don't really like to top. Though I prefer other masculine guys, I've hooked up with effeminate gays who are great tops, they're usually more masculine fucking than in real life, which just proves to me that it's all performance.

My personal experience is that masculine gay men have more prejudice toward bottoms than bi men, that's why I mostly date bisexual men now. Bi guys love to fuck me but also love sucking a dick and they won't belittle me just because I'm a bottom, unlike other gay men. They see me and treat me like an equal.

Effeminate gay men are particularly catty to me once they find out I'd rather be a bottom and I assume that is due to perceiving me as competition, that's something women do and many bi men try to run away from when they decide to date other men, so be warned annoying bossy bottoms.

by Anonymousreply 159October 15, 2021 2:51 AM

[quote] There are a few tops and a whole bunch of bottoms. Sometimes, some of those bottoms like to pretend they’re tops, but they can never be the real thing.

I'm a bottom and I never feel like there are few tops, that's usually what people who fuck everyone on their app say, gay or straight. I have straight and bi friends saying the same about women on tinder. They're just whores that ran out of options because they either fucked everyone available or blocked everyone too.

by Anonymousreply 160October 15, 2021 2:57 AM


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by Anonymousreply 161October 22, 2021 3:34 PM
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