Reading comments on Datalounge I have noticed a tendency to divide gay men strictly in tops and bottoms and putting every men that doesnt look like Stallone or Schwarzenegger in bottom category. As for gay couples, I noticed a lot of Dataloungers almost asking "who is the man and who is the woman", like my grandpa. Is this division real in your lives or are these people eldergays whose prime was in Doris Day era?
Strict division between tops and bottoms
|by Anonymous||reply 161||October 22, 2021 3:34 PM|
Quick Autocorrect for Grammar Nazi: "every man"
|by Anonymous||reply 1||August 21, 2021 9:17 AM|
Tops and bottoms aren't as easily identifiable by looks/mannerisms/etc, as some assume.
And strict tops and bottoms aren't as prolific as some assume.
Life's a little more complicated than that.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||August 21, 2021 9:52 AM|
R2 I agree.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||August 21, 2021 8:57 PM|
OP you clearly don't know gay men in real life if you think top/bottom jokes are just a DL thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||August 21, 2021 9:11 PM|
There's a lot of shit-talking and a constant flood of opinions on DL, but not nearly as much lived experience. The most frequent posters are social outcasts for whom life is largely experienced through the Internet and other electronic mediums, so what you see is at best a deeply distorted view of the totality of the gay experience.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||August 21, 2021 9:16 PM|
Visarionovic , if a guy is "vers " on Grindr, I pass. I want a real top.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||August 21, 2021 9:53 PM|
Well, at least you're not embarrassed to admit you're a bitchy bottom
|by Anonymous||reply 7||August 21, 2021 9:54 PM|
Masc4Masc here.a top must be a top, a bottom must be a slutty bitch. That's the rule of nature
|by Anonymous||reply 8||August 21, 2021 9:56 PM|
My ass and mouth need to be pounded raw
|by Anonymous||reply 9||August 21, 2021 10:15 PM|
There are a few tops and a whole bunch of bottoms. Sometimes, some of those bottoms like to pretend they’re tops, but they can never be the real thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||August 21, 2021 10:21 PM|
A butter knife can dream of being a jackhammer, but that won't make it so.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||August 21, 2021 10:25 PM|
LOL at the "tops " who ask if they can suck my dick. OUTA HERE!
|by Anonymous||reply 12||August 21, 2021 10:27 PM|
Bottoms who think a being a top means you don't suck dick are weird r12. Any guy who doesn't want their dick engaged at all I wonder if they are secretly trans or something.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||August 21, 2021 10:29 PM|
If a top wants to pleasure me I run away
|by Anonymous||reply 14||August 21, 2021 10:30 PM|
EXACTLY R14 ! R13 when I want to use my dick I use it with a frau. When I want a man I want a MAN
|by Anonymous||reply 15||August 21, 2021 10:31 PM|
Yeah, I have no interest in dick at all...just ass. Never been into it. However, a bottom who doesn't like his dick or wants to forget it exists...just a bit weird for me. At least acknowledge it...?
|by Anonymous||reply 16||August 21, 2021 10:36 PM|
R16, what are jockstraps for ?
|by Anonymous||reply 17||August 21, 2021 10:36 PM|
Ignore my needs and use my mouth and ass be selfish
|by Anonymous||reply 18||August 21, 2021 10:39 PM|
Fuck yeah R18. Spit on me, call me a piece of shit, hurt me, ignore me, be a MAN
|by Anonymous||reply 19||August 21, 2021 10:40 PM|
Stallone definitely is a bottom. Arnie is a power top though.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||August 21, 2021 10:41 PM|
R17 - major turn off for me...it's honestly even weird for a gay man. I mean, I like men and everything about them...jock straps, lack of pride (witness R19), and all the other crap is a turn off for me despite the fact that I am a top. I want my partner to enjoy his body and mine. Sorry, otherwise...they seem damaged and I may be wrong but it's just how I feel. A gorgeous man who understands he is beautiful...now THAT is a turn on.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||August 21, 2021 10:44 PM|
pERFECT. He doesn't even shoot in the bottom's mouth
|by Anonymous||reply 22||August 21, 2021 10:45 PM|
[quote] r me despite the fact that I am a top.
Or so YOU say. You sure ain't a top for me, sissy!
|by Anonymous||reply 23||August 21, 2021 10:46 PM|
R13, I agree. What guy doesn't want their dick sucked? That's so weird to me
|by Anonymous||reply 24||August 21, 2021 10:47 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 25||August 21, 2021 10:48 PM|
A top who wants to PLEASE a bottom ? Yuck. weak.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||August 21, 2021 10:50 PM|
no wonder you're single R21. grow a pair
|by Anonymous||reply 27||August 21, 2021 10:51 PM|
I'm telling you, if you freak out because your sexual partner wants to acknowledge your dick...it sounds like you wish you didn't have a dick at all.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||August 21, 2021 10:55 PM|
R28, meet R15
|by Anonymous||reply 29||August 21, 2021 10:57 PM|
R23 and R27 sound like trans. Being an exclusive top doesn't mean catering to a damaged millennial or younger. The older bottoms didn't complain when I fucked them and felt them up and them kind of held them in a huge bear grasp when they moaned. If you want to be degraded and spit on you aren't looking for a man...you are looking for a dominatrix. Also, you are probably damaged and not accepting of your own gender....a MAJOR turn-off and why I always pursue older bottoms.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||August 21, 2021 11:13 PM|
This argument is so tired. I give great blowjobs and I know how to throw a good fuck, but in the vast scheme of things this focus only on our sexuality is belittling, discouraging, and disappointing.
Are you kind? Are you able to help right a wrong? Are you responsible and socially involved/informed--with people not your effing social media? Are you compassionate, loving, generous?
We are so much more than dick and ass, top or bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||August 21, 2021 11:13 PM|
[quote]The older bottoms didn't complain when I fucked them
we didn't dare. We were afraid you would start crying, did you see us a second time ? that's your answer gurl
|by Anonymous||reply 32||August 21, 2021 11:15 PM|
R31 you must be so BORING. Are you actually getting any ? thought so
|by Anonymous||reply 33||August 21, 2021 11:16 PM|
R30 not hot.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||August 21, 2021 11:38 PM|
R30 = pussy
|by Anonymous||reply 35||August 21, 2021 11:40 PM|
What percentage of tops and of bottoms refer to the bottom's hole as his "mancunt"?
|by Anonymous||reply 36||August 22, 2021 12:21 AM|
0% R36. PUSSY is the word
|by Anonymous||reply 37||August 22, 2021 12:22 AM|
So many guys say they're a top until that door closes and their legs fly into the air.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||August 22, 2021 12:28 AM|
[quote] We are so much more than dick and ass, top or bottom.
You're not really gay, are you.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||August 22, 2021 3:04 AM|
I am the existential ass, the ectoplasmic orgasm ejaculated from a paranormal penis!
|by Anonymous||reply 40||August 22, 2021 3:32 AM|
R34 - my exes would beg to differ. Then again, they are older and more secure men....don't date millennials. Then again, I haven't ever had any problems getting younger ass, even with the COVID weight. Respectably hung tops with looks usually don't. Also, we can afford to discriminate.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||August 22, 2021 8:58 AM|
R6 Hey future husband, how are you. Dont worry , I ll be the ral top in our marriage. But no more Grindr after wedding. You know I m a guy from Balkans.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||August 22, 2021 9:21 AM|
OKay Balkan stud
|by Anonymous||reply 43||August 22, 2021 9:27 AM|
What about the “blouse”, the feminine top?
|by Anonymous||reply 44||August 22, 2021 9:30 AM|
R44 Never heard, what is it, effeminate top?
|by Anonymous||reply 45||August 22, 2021 9:36 AM|
R41 millenials are 40+ by now, you fucking fossil, no one wants to date you
|by Anonymous||reply 46||August 22, 2021 9:40 AM|
R46 - I fucked 2 in the last 2 months though. Strictly as I was pressed for time. Also, I am not 43. I don't want to date THEM. My rule is nobody under 45, except for a fuck. Given the top to bottom ratio, it's NEVER problem. Especially when they find out I don't and haven't ever bottomed in my life or sucked a cock. I rim and I top. Period. Don't do bareback and don't fuck around with damaged babies who want to be degraded. Also, skinny, smooth little bodies don't do it. Give me a slightly portly older bottom, over 45, nelly and who can talk about SOMETHING and I take him out, hang out, have drinks and rim and fuck him into oblivion. THAT is a gay MAN who and the sex is mindblowing...the rest remind me of the whole "binary" and BS crowd with the whiny voice and "literal violence" that is a complete dick wilter. Hell, fucking a woman sounds better...least she knows she's a woman and owns it.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||August 22, 2021 10:58 AM|
[quote] Also, I am ONLY 43.
Correction. And I am 6 feet tall and, according to most, pretty good looking. Women still flirt with me everywhere I go...and there is no shortage of good looking young guys out here. IT guys aren't Zuckerberg dorks in Romania...they are macho and date the best looking women around. Then again, you sound like you judge by stereotypes. Tops HAVE to be assholes and bottoms have to be "wimpy" and "faggish". See why it's a turn off? I have seen macho nelly guys in France, here, Spain...people aren't stereotypes from some tired US suburb.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||August 22, 2021 11:13 AM|
If you read this thread as a parody, it's actually sort of funny.
Sadly though, I think some of the posters are not keeping in that spirit and expressing their true feelings.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||August 22, 2021 11:38 AM|
R41 is english a third language for you ?
|by Anonymous||reply 50||August 22, 2021 12:25 PM|
[QUOTE] Also, I am ONLY 43. Correction. And I am 6 feet tall and, according to most, pretty good looking. Women still flirt with me everywhere I
AND R41 IRL =
|by Anonymous||reply 51||August 22, 2021 12:32 PM|
R51 = frustrated bottom who is 350 lbs.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||August 22, 2021 12:50 PM|
R41 = triggered and crying
|by Anonymous||reply 53||August 22, 2021 1:35 PM|
This rigid dichotomy emerged after HIV. In the bronze age we were happy to find a willing parter that we actually liked as a person. Who did what to who - you sorted out along the way
|by Anonymous||reply 54||August 22, 2021 1:58 PM|
[QUOTE] willing parter that we actually liked as a person
what does that mean ? how could you "like a partner as a person " ? did you know their name and everything ?
|by Anonymous||reply 55||August 22, 2021 2:03 PM|
R12, R14, R18, R23 Well girls, I dont want to preach, but I am genuinely worried about your self confidence. Not mocking you, quite the opposite I think you should value yourself more. My future husband at R6 and I will have a traditional relationship, but the one with respect and affection, not degradation, and you shouldnt let some sadistic assholes to treat you like dirt.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||August 22, 2021 2:47 PM|
hu....darling, I AM R12/R23.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||August 22, 2021 2:50 PM|
[quote] What guy doesn't want their dick sucked?
Most bottoms don't.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||August 22, 2021 2:58 PM|
R57 OMG, I seem like an insensitive top, i cant even recognize my fiance. You should know before marriage that I am not some kind of brute just because I am from Balkans. I am a gentle and protective guy. Never mind, we ll have to do some marraige therapy.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||August 22, 2021 2:59 PM|
I'll wake up the balkanic beast in you
|by Anonymous||reply 60||August 22, 2021 3:01 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 61||August 22, 2021 3:03 PM|
This article is slander!
|by Anonymous||reply 62||August 22, 2021 3:13 PM|
R58 Why? Are they ashamed of their dick?
|by Anonymous||reply 63||August 22, 2021 3:25 PM|
Maybe among guys who take being a total bottom as a big part of their identity r58, but that doesn't describe all guys who like to bottom by a long shot.
Its fine as a hook up, but I wouldn't date/hook up on a regular basis with a guy who never wanted me want to me touch or suck his dick.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||August 22, 2021 3:27 PM|
Are there many guys who really don’t want their dicks touched???
|by Anonymous||reply 65||August 22, 2021 3:29 PM|
My bottom puts on his jock when he wants his dick ignored. When he is not wearing the jock I let him wank while I fuck him.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||August 22, 2021 3:30 PM|
That remind me of very religious catholic women in the past centuries, who wanted to have sex through the hole in their nightgown, and took pride that their husbands never touched (with hands) or seen their intimate parts.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||August 22, 2021 3:32 PM|
R66 That is very woke of you to call a man "my bottom"
|by Anonymous||reply 68||August 22, 2021 3:36 PM|
Where is my fiance. That Masc4masc is suspicious, he might have stole him because he would ne attractive for him with that nick, but I would kick him in the balls if he tries something funny with my future husband.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||August 22, 2021 4:08 PM|
I am also "Masc4masc" honey
|by Anonymous||reply 70||August 22, 2021 4:09 PM|
Its a relief, because I thought he might have taken you, but it will be hard with you, how many personas have you got?
|by Anonymous||reply 71||August 22, 2021 4:11 PM|
On a good day, 2
|by Anonymous||reply 72||August 22, 2021 4:27 PM|
There are certain men who I want to fuck; others that I want to be fucked by. Hope that makes sense.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||August 22, 2021 4:29 PM|
lmfao. OP and his passive aggressive fiancé are hilarious
|by Anonymous||reply 74||August 22, 2021 4:32 PM|
R72 I m afraid to ask about the bad day
|by Anonymous||reply 75||August 22, 2021 4:32 PM|
If I'm in a good mood, I'm Frenchie, the nice, kind, sweet guy from french descent. If I'm in a bad mood, I'm the slutty and evil SloppyH
|by Anonymous||reply 76||August 22, 2021 4:35 PM|
You re so misterious it feels like Im marrying a woman.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||August 22, 2021 4:38 PM|
I'll like to make a good comfy little home for my top, I'm a very good househusb
|by Anonymous||reply 78||August 22, 2021 4:47 PM|
Nice, cos I see youre not the type of simple guy to drink beer and watch a football match together.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||August 22, 2021 4:59 PM|
It ll be more like Rhett Butler and Scarlett o Hara relationship.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||August 22, 2021 5:00 PM|
I don't drink alcohol honey, but I would suck you while you're watching TV
|by Anonymous||reply 81||August 22, 2021 5:08 PM|
But Im tolerant, you can watch some soup operas too
|by Anonymous||reply 82||August 22, 2021 6:05 PM|
like mushroom soup ?
|by Anonymous||reply 83||August 22, 2021 6:06 PM|
visarionovic, I don't know where you got the idea that I'm the effeminate type. I'm a muscle bottom and I am quite masc and macho
|by Anonymous||reply 84||August 22, 2021 6:08 PM|
Aha, youre the Grammar Nazi! I almost married the Grammar Nazi!
|by Anonymous||reply 85||August 22, 2021 6:08 PM|
have we broken up already ?
|by Anonymous||reply 86||August 22, 2021 6:09 PM|
Haha, I brought an agressive guy willing to fight out of you, see youre not that sweet passive bottom willing to please
|by Anonymous||reply 87||August 22, 2021 6:14 PM|
R87 when ? are we fighting ? our first fight ?
|by Anonymous||reply 88||August 22, 2021 6:18 PM|
Im glad you ve shown your claws, I was worried that you might be without self confidence, but I was wrong. But now Im self conscious writting knowing you are Grammar Nazi
|by Anonymous||reply 89||August 22, 2021 6:22 PM|
sweety I don't care about your grammar, I care about your dark good looks, your lanky, hairy body, your musky smell and your big cock
|by Anonymous||reply 90||August 22, 2021 6:25 PM|
Actually, I smell very nice.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||August 22, 2021 6:44 PM|
Why is R75 through r91 talking to himself?
|by Anonymous||reply 92||August 22, 2021 7:20 PM|
R92 Not talking to myself, but to my sweet young fiance.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||August 22, 2021 8:31 PM|
r93 Honey...this is a bit awkward...I'm over 50...BUT I LOOK VERY YOUNG
|by Anonymous||reply 94||August 23, 2021 5:45 AM|
Nobody is perfect. Its important that youre young at heart
|by Anonymous||reply 95||August 23, 2021 7:23 AM|
Overall, generally speaking, boomers and, to a somewhat lesser extent, Gen-Xers have had much stricter gender-role bullshit drilled into their heads from childhood onward. And, yeah, that's reflected in common perspectives on sex-position-roles and perceptions of the masculinity/femininity of those roles.
A lot of older gay men desperately tried to be 'heterosexual-adjacent', 'straight-acting', 'not like the flamers & femmes', etc.
I think it's very safe to say that a lot of their rage toward any kind of ambiguity/fluidity/in-betweenness in sexuality/gender is tied to that. They like pure, clear-cut, unchanging, traditional, binary categories to put people into (man/woman, straight/gay, top/bottom, masc/femme).
I mean, the existence of bisexuals still pisses off a lot of them (many still claim that bisexuals are just pretending to be bi). Don't expect them to suddenly get enlightened about the top/bottom false dichotomies... unless you're prepared for disappointment.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||August 23, 2021 8:16 AM|
R13 They are trannies but most will never will have the guts to go all out.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||August 23, 2021 8:22 AM|
R94 I should only inform my mama that her son in law will be closer to her age. How many over 50, not 20?
|by Anonymous||reply 98||August 23, 2021 8:35 AM|
R96, Well said!
|by Anonymous||reply 99||August 23, 2021 8:36 AM|
Why do I get the feeling that most people on this thread are just pretending they're gay men?
|by Anonymous||reply 100||August 23, 2021 8:57 AM|
Being a polite person, I never EVER began any sort of conversation with the question, "are you a top or a bottom"? Nor did I start a conversation with "do you have a big dick"? These questions used to be part of the mystery and fun of picking someone up and bringing him home. Without a clear answer on those questions in advance, people were more likely to be mentally prepared to be versatile. My experience was that, while some people took to the role of top more naturally than others, when push came to shove (so to speak), the vast majority of gay men were able to be versatile no matter their preference, and sometimes relished taking the position to which they were less accustomed. I have one long time friend who insisted for decades that he was basically a top. I would just roll my eyeballs, because the first time we met, I fucked him. When quizzed about it, (which I've already stated I think is impolite) I always say that I'm versatile. That has caused many a cynical gay to say, "oh, that means you're a bottom" - and then I take him home and fuck him. I haven't bottomed in decades - but I still consider myself versatile, because when I was in the height of my sexual activities (basically age 21-40), I enjoyed bottoming just as much as topping. Then I only topped for the next 15 years, and now I'd say that I've lost most of my interest in both (except seeing it in porn videos), and only want to have oral sex with people.
|by Anonymous||reply 101||August 23, 2021 9:02 AM|
I find total bottoms to be a turn-off, I am not really interested in any man who is completely passive and essentially just sees themselves as a hole. Be a fucking MAN who loves getting your dick sucked, your hole eaten and fucked, and once in a while likes to flip and fuck like a stallion yourself. Extremes of anything usually aren't healthy, or interesting at all to me.
|by Anonymous||reply 102||August 23, 2021 9:59 AM|
R96 I dont like labels neither, but must admit that I have some problems understanding bisexuality, except in very young guys who are still exploring their sexuality. There is a very rooted belief that bisexual men are gays who dont want to admit to the world and themselves they are into men. Or nowadays, in America, seems like some straight guys in showbiz claim this to attract attention. Also there are some sketchy types that would fuck anything with the pulse but I dont know whether to call that bisexuality cos I think those types see sex just as domination. But I try to be open minded, I see maybe its because I myself am mono, not stereo. I would like to hear from real bisexuals, or someone who knows some of them.
|by Anonymous||reply 103||August 23, 2021 10:19 AM|
R102 - you make my point (except I don't get fucked or suck cock) but a man, even the nelliest, has to be a man.
R100 - because the majority of the posts are by screwed up younger Millennials or Gen Z types. They don't have to be gay or even talk about sex. This is how they are all the time...about EVERYTHING. Can you imagine coming home to one every day? Can you blame me when I say if I don't find a partner who is over 45 now, in 2021, by the time I turn 55, I will marry a woman for companionship and caretaking? Seriously. These aren't even men, women, trans...just a screwy living and (worst of all) talking temper tantrum.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||August 23, 2021 11:18 AM|
I don't understand the huge difference between rimming and giving a blow-job. Yes, I get that they involve different body parts. But to say you'll do one (rim) and not the other (give a blow job) doesn't make that much sense to me. You're still orally pleasuring a man and, arguably, by doing so, in a somewhat submissive position. (Nothing wrong with that.)
|by Anonymous||reply 105||August 23, 2021 5:26 PM|
[quote] I find total bottoms to be a turn-off
Shut your face, you nasty piece of foreign trash.
|by Anonymous||reply 106||August 24, 2021 6:19 AM|
Yes OP we have evolved into a heteronormative strict t/b bifurcation. I blame gay marriage. Now you can tell top and bottoms apart like Morlocks and elois.
|by Anonymous||reply 107||August 24, 2021 11:57 AM|
All this fear and division. MARY
|by Anonymous||reply 108||August 24, 2021 12:25 PM|
I'm a man. I like men. I like my body, I love the male physique. I like what two men can do with each other's bodies. I like when we suck each other and take turns fucking each other. I like when we show each other what we've got. To me, that's a whole lot of pleasure. I let prospective partners know my standing. If you are a strict "anything" I'm not interested.
|by Anonymous||reply 109||August 25, 2021 12:25 AM|
Back when I was a youngling, this eldergay loved being versatile. And had many thanks for it.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||August 25, 2021 12:34 AM|
All of my friends are what one would call "versatile". Neither top not bottom. In fact, most seem to not indulge in anal sex at all.
|by Anonymous||reply 111||August 25, 2021 1:25 AM|
Still waiting for those real gay men to comment ...
|by Anonymous||reply 112||August 25, 2021 5:26 AM|
R111 no, you would call them versatile. I would call them bottoms.
|by Anonymous||reply 113||August 25, 2021 5:28 AM|
R113 - Bitch if a man is topping and bottoming, he is versatile. Do you understand what the word "versatile" means in this context?
|by Anonymous||reply 114||August 25, 2021 5:15 PM|
Vers = Bottom in disguise
|by Anonymous||reply 115||August 25, 2021 5:19 PM|
R114 = Bottom in denial
|by Anonymous||reply 116||August 25, 2021 5:23 PM|
R100, hardly any millennials or Gen z people are posting here. It's mostly eldergays so blame them for the posts here
|by Anonymous||reply 117||August 25, 2021 5:36 PM|
Someone's trolling, my lord, kum-bah-yah
DLers are biting my lord, kum-bah-yah
Arguing fiercely, my lord, kum-bah-yah
Trolls troll, kum-bah-yah
|by Anonymous||reply 118||August 25, 2021 5:39 PM|
Dejure is a millennial, R117. Or claims to be.
|by Anonymous||reply 119||August 25, 2021 5:42 PM|
I am a millennial but I am very much not scene and never have been. The scene millennials all subscribe to the “vers” myth.
|by Anonymous||reply 120||August 25, 2021 5:44 PM|
The op is clearly a woman.
|by Anonymous||reply 121||August 25, 2021 5:51 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 122||August 25, 2021 5:59 PM|
R121 Yes, Im a trans teenage girl
|by Anonymous||reply 123||August 25, 2021 6:02 PM|
strictly a bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 124||August 25, 2021 7:02 PM|
R121 But with a big girldick
|by Anonymous||reply 125||August 25, 2021 8:39 PM|
R124 I’m thinking asexual.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||August 26, 2021 3:52 AM|
OP, shut the fuck up! Sex has become so much better since gay men started embracing their preferred sexual roles. Oh my God, I remember the lame 90s, hooking up with men and not knowing what you were gonna’ get. Just stop with romanticizing of the way things were. Jesus Christ!
|by Anonymous||reply 127||August 29, 2021 4:05 PM|
R127 Dont you like some suspense?
|by Anonymous||reply 128||August 29, 2021 4:07 PM|
R128 Hi there, R127 here. No, I like some good sex though. It’s funny you mention “suspense”. I remember, late 90s, arriving at the conclusion that the whole game of chasing other men was so much funnier than the actual act. I briefly went through a depression because of it. From the early 2000s to the present things have gotten soooo much better. The expectation of clean holes, good anal sex, clear delineation between top and bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 129||August 29, 2021 4:16 PM|
R129 Expectations are nice, but how it ends is another thing. You can expect and hope for good sex but its not guaranteed. But sometimes the wooing can be fun as well.
|by Anonymous||reply 130||August 29, 2021 4:31 PM|
I was expecting the wedding, but my fiance ran away
|by Anonymous||reply 131||August 29, 2021 4:37 PM|
😁 = smelling cookies
|by Anonymous||reply 132||August 29, 2021 4:41 PM|
The strict top/bottom thing is mostly a relic of an older generation.
|by Anonymous||reply 133||August 29, 2021 5:29 PM|
r5 That paragraph should be a click through warning whenever someone arrives at this website. :)
|by Anonymous||reply 134||August 29, 2021 5:53 PM|
[quote] I was expecting the wedding, but my fiance ran away
I'm sorry darling, something unexpected came up out of the blue, almost. I was invited for a trip , a little holiday on the french riviera, nothing extravagant, I'm back now, all yours
|by Anonymous||reply 135||August 29, 2021 11:18 PM|
R133 no, it’s not. These terms have been made more relevant in recent years.
|by Anonymous||reply 136||August 30, 2021 12:19 AM|
OP, the top/bottom divide is much like the gay/straight one - the DL believes no other options exist.
|by Anonymous||reply 137||August 30, 2021 12:20 AM|
[quote] The strict top/bottom thing is mostly a relic of an older generation.
That's right! The younger generation does NOT restrict itself to strict top/bottom roles!
Our sexuality is "let's be ambivalent about what kind of sex we want - and literally everything in life - until we annoy the absolute fuck out of each other/our potential partners and everyone goes home frustrated."
But hey, at least we didn't force some old, outdated idea on someone!
|by Anonymous||reply 138||August 30, 2021 12:23 AM|
Oh FFS r138 it just means that younger gay men are more versatile. Of course there are still strict top/bottoms but versatility is more common than it used to be. Take your out-of-touch old ass shaking your fist at the wind and fuck right off.
|by Anonymous||reply 139||August 30, 2021 12:25 AM|
Versatility has been way more common than anyone thinks. Top/bottom BS arose with the apps.
|by Anonymous||reply 140||August 30, 2021 1:54 AM|
R135 Hey, you must be even handsomer well tenned. What places have you been?
|by Anonymous||reply 141||August 30, 2021 8:34 PM|
R140 do you prefer naive or ignorant?
|by Anonymous||reply 142||August 30, 2021 8:38 PM|
R139 It has nothing to do with versatility, you daft cunt.
The app culture has made ambivalent, whiny bitches out of many gay men, who negotiate or talk a potential hookup to death and then complain that they're unwanted and/or think that they're asexual.
|by Anonymous||reply 143||August 31, 2021 1:40 PM|
r143 there have always been flaky gay guys who are indecisive about a hookup. Back in the days of hooking up in bars there were guys like that.
|by Anonymous||reply 144||August 31, 2021 1:43 PM|
I love to bottom, but I love other guy’s asses, everything about them. What does that make me?
|by Anonymous||reply 145||August 31, 2021 1:45 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 146||August 31, 2021 2:03 PM|
R138 The interesting thing is that, as a millennial who does believe in strictly assigned roles, I never ever advertised my role when I used to use the app. IMO, there is just something so crass, slutty, and pessimistic about advertising your role, as it assumes that all encounters will lead to sex and dehumanizes the person down to a sex position.
And yet, I can confidently say that I have never once experienced anyone doubting that I would be the bottom. There is just something in my eyes that lets the world know that I’m a strict bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 147||August 31, 2021 2:27 PM|
And then there are the rare homosexual unicorns like me who are not turned on by anal sex at all and are oral only.
|by Anonymous||reply 148||August 31, 2021 3:05 PM|
R144 It’s even easier to be flaky from the convenience of your phone. I could see how it’s gotten worse
|by Anonymous||reply 149||August 31, 2021 9:28 PM|
R147 I agree with you. I have nothing against people having a preference in sexual role-position, I do too, but its silly when a persone is defined by role, or when someone calls a person by his sexusl position, "my bottom", how ugly. Or when someone proudly intriduces himself as a top. Anyhow, guys who like to bottom are dominant in my experience. Like my fiance who left me yesterday.
|by Anonymous||reply 150||September 3, 2021 9:20 PM|
Heteronormativity is damaging gay relationships. Enough with the tops and bottoms
|by Anonymous||reply 151||September 3, 2021 9:27 PM|
R148, that’s not rare. You must not keep up with all the articles and forums about it
|by Anonymous||reply 152||September 4, 2021 4:16 PM|
Total top are still viewed as more desirable add more manly. Facts.
|by Anonymous||reply 153||September 5, 2021 1:11 AM|
I can't date a guy unless he's versatile. No exceptions.
|by Anonymous||reply 154||September 5, 2021 1:17 AM|
And there are guys who only are interested in guys who are 100% one role strictly. People Have different tastes
|by Anonymous||reply 155||September 5, 2021 1:21 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 156||September 5, 2021 2:47 PM|
R156 Then I am a virgin!
|by Anonymous||reply 157||September 5, 2021 3:04 PM|
R154 is a sick perv.
|by Anonymous||reply 158||October 13, 2021 9:27 PM|
I'm a mostly bottom masculine gay guy but I also love taking control and being sucked. I've top many guys that lied to me about their preferences, but I don't really like to top. Though I prefer other masculine guys, I've hooked up with effeminate gays who are great tops, they're usually more masculine fucking than in real life, which just proves to me that it's all performance.
My personal experience is that masculine gay men have more prejudice toward bottoms than bi men, that's why I mostly date bisexual men now. Bi guys love to fuck me but also love sucking a dick and they won't belittle me just because I'm a bottom, unlike other gay men. They see me and treat me like an equal.
Effeminate gay men are particularly catty to me once they find out I'd rather be a bottom and I assume that is due to perceiving me as competition, that's something women do and many bi men try to run away from when they decide to date other men, so be warned annoying bossy bottoms.
|by Anonymous||reply 159||October 15, 2021 2:51 AM|
[quote] There are a few tops and a whole bunch of bottoms. Sometimes, some of those bottoms like to pretend they’re tops, but they can never be the real thing.
I'm a bottom and I never feel like there are few tops, that's usually what people who fuck everyone on their app say, gay or straight. I have straight and bi friends saying the same about women on tinder. They're just whores that ran out of options because they either fucked everyone available or blocked everyone too.
|by Anonymous||reply 160||October 15, 2021 2:57 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 161||October 22, 2021 3:34 PM|