Stupid/ugly first names

I will cut you, OP

OP, you’re a common frump whose father lived over a grocery store and whose mother took in washing.

All these names that imply action or ruggedness: Hunter, Chase, Rumer, Scout, Archer, Driver, Shoveler, etc.

And all these pretentious illiterate names with extra consonants or a dumbass accidental spelling: Jadyn, Myrycle, Ashlynn, Neveah (popular with the Blacks), etc.

Also names from trashy popular fiction that will tell the world your parents didn't read the whole book: Catniss, Peeta, Hermoine, Severus, Emma, Dorian, Gatsby, etc.

Bertha

Ernie

Shawn

Edna

Gay Blanche Constance

Masha.

Kirsten, Bridget, Jenella, Adam, and Charlie, Jr.

Also Biff, Doug, and Skippy.

My grandmother’s sisters’ name:

Opal, Toots’, Maxine and Valere (no - not Valerie)

Grandma’s name was Faye. I think she lucked out.

Shoveler? Who does that to a child?

Tom/Tim

Derek

Gabe

Kevin

I love the name Veda.

Veda reminds me of My Girl, so I like it.

Rory is an ugly name to say.

Wes

OP's father lived over a grocery store and his Mom took in washing.

Clarence

JoAnn

Erna

Well, OP, you’ve never spoken of your people.

R15, why did you repeat what you posted at R2?

Ethel. Mabel. Gertrude. Margaret. Shirley.

Archie

Edith

Edna

Marcia/Marsha

Olive

Grover

Herbert

Agnes

Agatha

Medghyne

Gemma

Tucker

Mxyzptlk.

Fuck it. And every time I say it backwards, I disappear.

[quote][R15], why did you repeat what you posted at [R2]?

That wasn't me, but I totally missed that post. My apologies to R2.

Braxliegh

Braeeleigh

LoxleighAnn

Alfred Myrtle

Madison and the Madison of the 80s, Jennifer. Taylor is another ugly name-- that "ler" sound is gross.

I'm no James M. Cain scholar but I'm assuming that he chose that name for Mildred Pierce's favorite daughter because of its connection to the Hindu Veda texts, suggesting that (from an early 20th century American Christian-oriented perspective) Mildred's devotion to Veda amounts to idolatry, worshiping a false god. And Mildred receives cosmic punishment for it.

I think Veda is sexy and feminine, like Vera or Ida.

R3, Neveah is a Mormon name, not a black name

Newer ones: Madison, Jaden, Braden, Caden

Old names: Beulah, Homer, Elmer, Gaylord, Ethel

R15 I believe R2 covered that

OP, I think I'm really seeing you for the first time in my life and you're cheap and horrible.

I hate the LEIGH/LEE ending names that are so popular now

My grandmothers first name was Gladys. Poor thing.

I've always hated the name Wayne. Nothing good ever seems to come from someone named Wayne

Ruth is an ugly name.

Bitsy

Plenty of old-fashioned names are unpopular:

Bonnie, Eunice, Gertrude, Bertha, Maureen, Millicent, Edna, and Veda's mom, Mildred.

Clyde, Leonard, Horace, Ernest, Maurice, Arnold, Gus, and Veda's dad, Bert.

Regina

Sailor

“Nevaeh” is “heaven” spelled backwards.

Misty. I've only ever met ONE Misty who wasn't a complete traahbag. It's supposed to be a beautiful, ethereal name, but white trash ruined it starting at least as early as the 1970s.

Dolores

Also, “Mist” in German means “manure.” You’re welcome.

Phyllis - might as well be Syphilis

Reba

Elsie

Fern Mayo

Desiree and Dominique - sluts

anyone named after a liquor or wine (Chablis, Brandy, etc.)

Royal or Royalty names - Princess, Queen, Sir, Knight, Kingsley, Kingston, Prince, Reign

[quote] Regina

What does it rhyme with?

[quote] Fern Mayo

How about Cody Fern?

[quote] Neveah

I love their facial cream!

Janet

Marjorie

Tabitha

[quote] What does it rhyme with?

Delores?

Hortense

Herman

Fern

Jehoshaphat

Madonna

Chase

Kaylee

Beatrice, especially when it's pronounced as "Bee-AH-trice."

Clitgina

Russ/Russell

Mike - if your last name is Hunt Harry - if your last name is Dick

Nestor

Ermentrude

Ermengarde

Ernestine

Erna

what was her mother thinking

Kaiden, Jaden, etc.

[Quote]Beatrice, especially when it's pronounced as "Bee-AH-trice."

Example is at 0:26 of the video.

Gaye. Especially when your last name is "Males"

Ole. Especially when your last name is "Worm"

Taika - if your last name is Dumpf

Bernd. Especially when your last name is Eggen.

Sheila (Shelagh) Nellie Prudence Chastity Wilfred Walter Wagner

Special mention for Ada, because it was my Grandmothers name and she was a cunt.

LaMonjallo

I know a couple people named Chasidy/Chasity (not Chastity!). Even worse than Chastity.

[quote] LaMonjallo

LaMonjallo doesn't have time for much given his busy schedule on True Blood.

Astrid and Dick. What a horrendous couple.

Craig Kyle

Maggie Tammy

I recently saw a headline about a boy who was seriously injured in a vehicle accident. I then read his name, "Tresten," and thought, "Fuck him...."

Quntadina

Prissy

Ruby-Begonia

Rex

Trixie

Zhon-Luke (true)

Smeagol

[quote] Smeagol

Gollum!

Euphegenia

Ephraim Greta Gertrude August

“Shoveler?!”

Iggie

Virgil

Esperanza- it means hope but I’ve never met one who wasn’t super annoying

Regina / Gina / Geena- I know it’s supposed to be queen like but we all know what it reminds us of.

Penelope- same. Might as well be named peen

Hyper religious names like Jesus, Christian, Siddartha, Mohammed, Moses, Mary, etc. What is wrong with these parents? Their kids aren’t divine beings. The little shits.

Erna.

R82, are you either R18 or R61?

I only knew one Susan growing up, and thought it was an utterly characterless name. Like, what comes to mind when you hear “Susan”?

Zzzzz…

[quote] Like, what comes to mind when you hear “Susan”?

Hullo! I think of Susan Pevensie.

[quote] I've always hated the name Wayne. Nothing good ever seems to come from someone named Wayne

Randy Wayne, now-fat, Trump-voting, Oklahoman actor.

[quote] I've always hated the name Wayne. Nothing good ever seems to come from someone named Wayne

Randy Wayne half way to fat.

Wow, that's irritating, R64! It reminds me of "Versailles" Kentucky, which is pronounced "Ver-Sales", as opposed to "Ver-sigh', like the French city. I REFUSE. I've been to the one in France, but despite growing up one state over, I've never been to the Kentucky Versailles.

Dorcus.

I can't believe I met an Australian woman with this putrid name.

r59, Are you still in 7th grade?

Aaron

Jesse

Jason

Hank

Steve

[quote]R85 Hullo! I think of Susan Pevensie.

And she, along with the older brother, is at the boring end of that sibling unit. What the hell did SUSAN ever do that was memorable??

The story belongs to Lucy and Edmond. (Can’t ever remember the boring older brother’s name.)

[quote]R89 Dorcus. I can't believe I met an Australian woman with this putrid name.

I met a Dorcus , too. In NYC. Very cool lady, but it’s such an odd name choice. I later read it’s Biblical, but at the time I could only think “crocus”.

[quote] (Can’t ever remember the boring older brother’s name.)

Peter. The weird thing is that in the fundie film versions the actor who portrays him, William Moseley, looks nothing like the other Pevensie children. Perhaps Mrs. Pevensie had a fling with the milkman?

Agree with "Wayne" - every one I've known was a fundie hillbilly asshole. Ditto "Randy"

Parker

Enoch

Bella

r93, I figured it had to be a biblical name. The name just evokes, perhaps, what a 7th grader would use as a full name for dork; Dorcus. Still, a lovely woman. Upon looking up her name I also found out it was a men's clothing line in the late 60s to late 70s. (Caftan alert for those Googling.)

Anysledi. I can’t even.

Any surname used as a first name. Tyler, Taylor, Madison ,etc It screams "I was born to mediocre suburban assholes."

There is nothing wrong with the time honored tradition of giving your children family names as first name. It's a shame it was co-opted by suburban fraus and trash.

I think a mother’s maiden name was also sometimes used as a child’s first name. Especially in the south.

Sullivan, for instance.

[quote]R96 Parker / Enoch / Bella

I know a teen named Parker. Horrible person.

No idea where his mom, an otherwise good friend, got THAT from.

[quote] Bella

The aforementioned Randy Wayne's daughter is named Rocky Bella Wayne.

Sometimes pop culture ruins a name for you.

I was always fine with Bella because it’s a form of Isabel. And I knew a beautiful Isabel in grade school.

Now, well - -

I think Isabel is a beautiful name.

Isn't it spelled "Dorcas?"

Here you go, R62.

It's DORCAS, you filthy cretins.

Every name, if you stare at it long enough!

But to reply seriously: There are, as with words in general, mellifluous names, guttural names, entrancing names, off-putting names, funny names, inappropriate names, meaningful names, etc.

I find myself drawn to Italian female names: Gabriella; Daniella; Michela. Michael Corleone's love was sealed when he heard the girl's mellifluous name: Apollonia.

An ugly name? Adolf. Heinrich. Helga. Klaus. I sense a trend.

Apollonia sounds like bolognia.

R110, Yeah, okay. To a moron.

Apollonia, nicknamed Apples, was a famous model in the 1970s. So it’s a glamorous name to me.

[quote] Apollonia sounds like bolognia.

Babylonia.

Regina What does it rhyme with?

—Anonymous I believe a female's name is pronounced Re-Geena.

And in Boston, the famous pizza spot, Pizzeria Regina, is pronounced as Re-Geena as well.

But in Canada, the city of Regina, Saskatchewan, pronounced Re-jina, as in vagina?

Apollonia reminds me of some type of horse.

[quote]r115 Apollonia reminds me of some type of horse.

So what if she was, a little bit?

She’s descended from Catherine the Great.

The only thing worse than Wayne is Dwayne.

R114, Like Lima, Peru, and Lima, Ohio.

Mulva

Bertha

Esmerelda

Delta Variant

Regina is pretentious as It is Latin for Queen, it can be used by male monarchs but they generally use 'Rex' (King).

It has also been used to identify the 'Virgin Mary'

HM Queen Elizabeth signs official documents as Elizabeth R or EIIR.

Delta Dawn

I went to school with a Frosti, and if anyone I know became a stripper, it's her.

[quote] Regina is pretentious as It is Latin for Queen, it can be used by male monarchs

If that monarch is future monarch Prince George perhaps. Regina is the female form of Rex in Latin.

[quote]R126 I went to school with a Frosti, and if anyone I know became a stripper, it's her.

I wonder if her parents met working in an ice cream shop, or something.

Sonny Von Twatterson.

Cun Twippa

Moon unit

Lourdes/Lorde, etc.… sounds ridiculous.

Karen. Didn't like it even before it took on a whole new meaning.

[quote]Misty. I've only ever met ONE Misty who wasn't a complete traahbag. It's supposed to be a beautiful, ethereal name, but white trash ruined it starting at least as early as the 1970s. —Native West Virginian

Now I'll never get a boyfriend!

LeVar

Not an ugly name just a dull one. Joseph and all the variants Joe, Joey. I never got called Joe or Joseph very often by my family or friends it was always Jay or J.J. I liked my middle name much better which is John. I always thought I was much more a Chip or Roddy.

Newt

I wonder if anyone was ever really named Trixie or Pixie.

Those are cat names.

The two names that came to my head were Maverick and Nevaeh (heaven spelled backwards).

There are two famous Indian actresses named Dimple and Simple (Kapadia).

[quote]R39 Plenty of old-fashioned names are unpopular: Bonnie, Eunice, Gertrude…

How dare you!

Eurydice

Colette

Clytemnestra

Dido

Bathsheba

Rabelais

Patricia

Cocteau

Phyllis is a fairly awful name.

Rusty Dwayne Parker Ava Hardy Tonya Ned

Ashley, Melissa, Jennifer, Marissa, Tiffany, Caitlyn, Chloe, Sophia, Olivia, Brandon, Jason, Mohammed, Jacob, Micah, Dylan, Dakota, Sienna, Savannah, and, of course, Archie and Lilibet.

You get my drift.

R144 Excuse me?!

R105 Just so you know, Isabel is a form of Elizabeth.

The latter one of those names that is timeless. That's what you want, a name that lives past trends.

Ava is a perfectly nice name.

I think we can all puke at APPLE, tho.

[quote]R147 Just so you know, Isabel is a form of Elizabeth.

I believe both have origins in [italic]Elisheba/Elisheva. [/italic] So that’s what they’re variations of, not each other.

Aglaë is pretty bad (looking at you, Princess Marie).

Twatta

Pete

[quote]R150 Aglaë

Is that some hobbit name??

Elshiba

[quote] Twatta

Is that short for Cuntwatta?

Hazel. And yet it's popular with young Frauen these days.

Nimrod

Agnes, Edna, and Hortense ftw.

ANY first name that sounds like a last name such as

ANDERSON Cooper

I secretly always found the name Emmanuelle pretty. Tho it is, of course, forbidden.

(I never met anyone named that, anyway, so I guess the ban’s still in place.)

Gertrude

Caliandrone

Hortense.

Has anyone ever met a Tiffany who wasn't batshit crazy?

My friend married a Tiffany, only she spells it “Typhanye.” I can’t decide if that’s worse or better.

Weird spellings vex me. How did Michaela morph into McKayla? Maybe the influence of fast food in culture. McNugget sounds lovely too. And never mind Mc is a male designator, so it would mean ‘Son of Kayla’.

r164, you need to settle down now. Tiffany Welles was in control.

People who give their children surnames as given names (Cooper, Taylor, McKenzie, Carter, Anderson, Lennox, Mason, Marley, Brooks etc) drive me crazy. It is so ridiculous and tacky to name your child like that, and it only reflects the parents' trashy ignorance.

Then you have those girls whose parents give them male names: Ashley, Lee, Dana, Ryan, Kyle and Georgey instead of Ashleigh, Leigh, Danna, Ryanne, Kyla and Georgina/Georgette... And let's not even talk about those girls who are named Emery, Dylan, Bobby or Johnny, which is just ridiculous.

Then you have the misspelled names (something that many of you have already mentioned) - I know a Kevyn, a Jessicka and an Yveth, but I've also read names such as Jamey, Neal, Katelyn, Dewayne, Morghen and Johnathan.

Then you have people who are given shortnames, instead of proper names: Jack instead of John, Tim instead of Timothy, Roobie or Bobby instead of Robert, Bert or Bertie instead of Albert, and so on.

Finally, people who name their children after continents, countries, cities or denonyms, which is just absurd. At school, I had classmates named Africa, Asia, Marie France and London, but I've also read Verona, Marselle (misspelled, to make matters worse), Kairo (I swear!), Norse and Saxon.

Names ending in "ar". It's so trashy. Delmar or Lamar.

Elwood sounds trashy too. Although I knew a really sexy trashy Elwood growing up. Down for anything and anyone. And a pecker out to here. It was all over determined in his case.

Harold. Yuck. Keith is ugly too.

I knew a woman named Ethel years ago, who was pretty cool. As for Wayne, R36, I know a really cool one of those, sorry.

I think an Anglo gal using the Italian Bay-ah-Tree-chay would be quite affected, R56. I had a college professor called Rex, R76 - a homosexual alcoholic.

R89: Dorcas is the Greek translation of the Aramaic name Tabitha. My Jewish great great grandfather was named Adolph, R109.

[quote]R169 people who name their children after continents, countries, cities or denonyms, which is just absurd. At school, I had classmates named Africa, Asia, Marie France and London, but I've also read Verona, Marselle…

You are cordially invited to fuck the fuck OFF.

R171, I agree Harold is yucky, but the nickname Hal always made me think of a dashing WWII soldier.

R169, "Paris" goes back a long way. As do "Florence," "Kent," "Virginia," "Alexandria," and more.

Isn't Virginia really a version of Virgin Mary so no different than Imaculata or Assumption?

Derwood

jebus, I hope not. We don’t need any additional reminders of that dried up old barren broad in daily life.

^^ re:

[quote] r176 Isn't Virginia really a version of Virgin Mary so no different than Imaculata or Assumption?

Trevor.

Virginia has nothing to do with Mary, the state was named for Queen Elizabeth I.

My point was that Virginia is a place name as well as a girl's name.

[quote] Trevor

Funny, I think that's a really pretty name.

Ethel

R150

Aglaé is a cute little pig.

Blanket

[quote]r185 Aglaé is a cute little pig.

My daughter is a rude, thoughtless little pig.

Velveeta

R182 my point is she wiped her cunt on all of us.

Clamidia.

Kraft Mac'N'Cheese

Bree or Brie.

Trishelle.

Ye.

Ima and Ura, especially if your last name is Hogg.

Pristiq

Vern

“Topher” as a diminutive of Christopher.

[Quote]Vern

Vernette for the females is equally as bad.

I have never run across Vernette, just Verna.

[quote]R198 Vernette for the females is equally as bad.

Not as bad as these:

[italic]” Your name in reverse order is “Ettenrev.” A random rearrangement of the letters in your name (anagram) will give ‘Rvtneeet.’”

[quote]My daughter is a rude, thoughtless little pig.

That reminds me, Ireland is a stupid name for a person.

Ireland is quite tall, isn’t she??

^^ meant to add she should have kicked her mouthy father’s ASS!

Ireland is a funny name for a baby whose mother claims to be from Spain despite being American.

^ Ireland is Kim Basinger's daughter, Rose.

Jebediah. That name has mass shooter or Waco style compound vibes.

The worst name I have ever encountered was DRUSILLA. In 9th grade geometry class. I still can't believe that someone actually named their daughter Drusilla.

I don't like some of the feminine versions of men's names, like Johnette for John, or Thomasina for Thomas.

Flossie

Thomasina seems like something gay men would use among each other.

I like biblical names like Jedediah, Nehemiah, etc. They make me think of strapping young farm boys in overalls.

[quote]R210 Thomasina seems like something gay men would use among each other.

Or name our cats!

Itsy

X Æ A-Xii (pronounced "Ex Ash Ay Twelve") Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced "Alvin") Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii Number 16 Bus Shelter

Xiandria

Shaun or Shawn instead of Sean

Siobhan

Khaleesi. Not really a name but a title dreamed up by George RR Martin. People actually named their kids that.

Constance

Gretchen

Well, ain't r219 a kick in the cunt!

I like the name Constance. And Connie.

Erin for a man. like Erin OToole, Conservative leader in Canada.

Any y name spelt with 2 EE’s. Shirlee, Cathee, Sandee, Hillaree

Donovan and Swan, unfortunately named children of one of those ethereal hippies.

Nigel, Percy, Horace, Mavis, Enid, Hilda, Ernestine, Floyd, Abel, Axel, Pansy, Huckleberry, Ebenezer, Olive, Maurice, Phoebe, Hiram, Mungo, Eugenie, Murray, Wilma, Ichabod, Uriah.

Also - Shaniqua, D'Shawn, Ebonee and anything with creative spelling

Buford

Shitta

Dawn Elmer Yetta Waldo

Irma

Earl

Gilbert

Stanley

Fannie

Henrietta, Clementine. These were actual names in my family tree not too many generations ago. Claude. That also showed up. Samantha - yes, not just on Bewitched. Some names deserve to be put out to pasture. Ethel. Gertrude. Lucille, Ernest.. Lots of German men's names. Engelbert. Eckebrecht, Wolfgang, Georg.

Dick. Why not Rick or Ricky? Might as well be Foreskin or Schlong.

Jesus.

Doug

Moonbeam

Roxanne

Jayden

Paris!

Gladys

Janet

Ina Garten

The name Polly always annoyed me as a child. Like, who would pick the name POLLY???

Jethro

"Tammy" is a fat girl's name.

Wanda

Dionne

"Peggy" is disgusting.

Because of your oversexed mind correlating Peggy with pegging.

Horeene

Aoife

Aloysius

Shithead

Jamarcus

Herbert

Shaquandra

Fecal fuck

Fistula

I'm sure someone already said Apple and Moses. I guess Paltrow wants a future empire started by her heirs. It started out as a humble fruit orchard where you part the red seas, a crazed theme park of sorts for people who like jade eggs. She's nuttier than my grandma's fruit cake.

Gwyneth

Just came over from the Succession thread. Comfrey.

I'll see your "Comfrey" and raise you one...

Confit

[quote]She's nuttier than my grandma's fruit cake.

Just like a Candle that smells like my Vagina and breathe deeply...

IIRC, Diana Ross named one of her children Chutney

Chutney sucks hard

[quote] I knew a woman named Ethel years ago

Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do.

Eunice Jerusha Fanny

[quote] Eunice Jerusha Fanny

That's what they scream during sex in Gaelic.

Skeet

Whatever happened to Skeet Ulrich?

Gunter

Labius

Tootie.

BUCK ( Rodgers)

R272- Buck NEVER would have disapproved of his name

I've never met a guy named Karl who wasn't a deeply closeted bisexual.