IBS Bathroom Trips

Sniffle a lot.

The lingering smell you leave probably tips your coworkers off that your creating fecal Jackson Pollocks in the toilet rather than doing lines off the seat. Maybe adopt an IBS friendly diet?

Frequent nose bleeds.

PooPourri

A little bit of white powdery residue dusted around the edges inside your nose and underneath it should help further your cause.

Stop trying to be cool OP you imposter. Cool cats are born not made.

Exclaim very loudly " Wow, all this coke I snorted at the club last night has really given me the shits" while dashing to the bathroom to relieve yourself.

Take Immodium. All it takes is using it periodically a few times and you get back to normal. Also avoid coffee, soy and dairy and spicy foods in excess.

And whatever you do, don't eat the cod in tomato sauce and prunes.

LOL, Greg.

VIPoo.

I've got a bad case of the Sunday morning shits.

Try reading Samantha Irby, she discusses bathroom trips and mishaps due to Crohn’s quite a bit and with great humor.

I lot of IBS is in fact an inflamed pancreas. You might want to investigate further.

Samantha Irby looks like she's taking a shit in the photo.

Baking soda

R15 Much of the time she says she is, one would think she could cover better by now.

You could always buy some coke and do a line every time you shit.

Do booty bumps and make the whole situation even worse, but at least you'll be laughing your ass off.

Probiotics

Like yougurt?

My god, I hope you're not a bottom.