Never trust or get close to a borderline personality!!

Bump

Thanks for the PSA, OP.

I've never heard BPD discussed on DL before.

Just a periodic warning ⛔️

How do you spot one before it’s too late?

Totally agree. But sometimes you have no choice.

The hot gay guy who does those “dog breed impression” TikTok videos just announced on Instagram the other day that he’s been diagnosed with BPD and that’s why he hasn’t made any videos lately.

It seems like everyone is diagnosing bad behavior as a mental illness lately--especially Bi-Polar, Narcissism, and Borderline. Any insight from DL medical community on how to distinguish normal asshole-ness with a real mental health disorder?

I'm R7: I meant....distinguish normal asshole-ness FROM a real mental health disorder?

r7, the only way to do that is to get a degree in one of the clinical psychological health disciplines from a licensed institution of higher learning.

Borderlines are not mentally ill in traditional sense, they are calculating and evil however.

R4, they show a vested interest in you. They ask all kinds of personal questions and listen intently . They will use everything you tell them against you similar to narcissist, but for more insidious . They will eviscerate you for slightest issue . There is something off about them too. But trust your intuition.

In my experience it is almost impossible to know whether someone is borderline before it's too late. A big warning sign is if you realize someone has unrealistic expectations for how close you will be to them as a friend and whether they are "splitters" (i.e. they demonize people they don't like to you and glorify people they like)

My therapist told me I am a magnet for BPD people because I am empathetic and can be passive with regards to my friendships. I have been working on changing the latter.

This belongs in the "pet peeve" thread. It's not "bi-polar" but bipolar. (And more accurately, manic depression.)

My therapist told me borderlines and narcissists attract.

I married one...my life became a nightmare of unlimited evil

Ah ... so OP is the troll who posted the "I think many people diagnosed as bipolar, borderline and other mental disorders are just plain evil."thread and then left dozens of incendiary replies.

a Borderline personality will craft scenarios in which they'll attract dozens of people, that are very elaborated and last years. For instance, my spouse would insinuate at work that I was physically abusive then ask me to call in sick on their behalf, then insinuate that they were sequestrated and so on,. people were horrible to me, I thought they were crazy, I was completely clueless, and that's just one little example of what they do

OP, just to clarify, by "borderline personality" do you mean "women"?

Here's how you can tell a BPD. Very shortly after you meet them, you feel they're your soulmate and your biggest fan. They love the same things you love! They hate the same things you hate! It's like they've known you forever! No one *gets* you the way they do, and you've only known each other such a short while! This must be fate! The attraction is overwhelming.

And you feel pulled to a vulnerability in them; perhaps you understand them, too, as no one else ever has. Perhaps you can help them. The cruel, cold world has been very hard on their sensitive soul. You may be the one who can nurture them, help them become whole, help them blossom. Who could have guessed any two people could be so in tune, so soon?

RUN! RUN, RUN, RUN! before it all goes bad -- and when it gets bad, it's bunny-boiler bad. RUN!

Borderlines mirror for sure in beginning. The males are. Much more dangerous in my opinion.

BPD is like teen girl behavior on steroids.

From what I've learned from DL and friends who have horrible taste in company, R8, if they have any restraining orders or "no contact" judgements against them, they're BPD. Peace out before they get your number/ your apartment address.

Positively, r22

Courtney Love is the prototypical BDP

R19 here, adding: Many BPDs are strikingly attractive, often waiflike, especially the women. I think it's because beautiful people can get away with shit that would get ugly people shut down in seconds.

When the beauty fades with age, so does a lot of the power to manipulate. The BPDs end up as sad loons like Madonna, with her Norma Desmond delusions, or Mia Farrow, weaving a web to keep her children enmeshed in order to "protect" her from the cruel world.

A lot of so called autistic women are really BPD

[quote] Here's how you can tell a BPD. Very shortly after you meet them, you feel they're your soulmate and your biggest fan. They love the same things you love! They hate the same things you hate! It's like they've known you forever! No one *gets* you the way they do, and you've only known each other such a short while! This must be fate! The attraction is overwhelming.

And you feel pulled to a vulnerability in them; perhaps you understand them, too, as no one else ever has. Perhaps you can help them. The cruel, cold world has been very hard on their sensitive soul. You may be the one who can nurture them, help them become whole, help them blossom. Who could have guessed any two people could be so in tune, so soon?

the second part is accurate IMO. The first part is too vague. They will try to convince you that you are soulmates . They love the same things you love! They hate the same things you hate! It's like they've known you forever! No one *gets* you the way they do, and you've only known each other such a short while! This must be fate! The attraction is overwhelming.

but you see the red flags and feel sorry for them, you think they badly need to be loved and protected.

when you realize how evil and manipulative they are, that's only the tip of the iceberg

[quote]...but bipolar. (And more accurately, manic depression.)

Hi, Rip Van Winkle. The year is 2021.

The Borderlines who upfront tell you they have BPD are the most manipulative and dangerous.

[quote] The males are. Much more dangerous in my opinion.

The females are far worse

You just keep on pushing my love… 🎵

the females will go so far as to have children with you and take them away fom you, convincing the world that you are abusive/rapist/violent, poisoning their minds so that they never want to speak to you again, etc

^That's how we got confirmation that Angelina Jolie was borderline.

Are borderlines more prevalent in gays and lesbians?

R33,Look how much bread aged while he was with Angelina she just sucked the life out of him

NOW you tell me Thanks a lot , guys.

the reason why I don't think that Mia Farrow has BPD is that people with BPD are often depressed/suicidal, incapable of maintaining a steady professional life, blaming their victim for it....oups...sorry, never mind

[quote]Look how much bread aged while he was with Angelina

Oh, DEAR

Sometimes I get too busy and forget that there are borderline personalities in the world. Then, a thread like this gets bump, and I'm reminded of the evil that lurks out in the world. Thank you OP. You may have prevented further heartbreak and saved my life today.

[quote]the reason why I don't think that Mia Farrow has BPD is that people with BPD are often depressed/suicidal, incapable of maintaining a steady professional life, blaming their victim for it....oups...sorry, never mind

Speaking of blaming the victim.

R19 you are so right.

R11 Perfect description.

yes cinesnatch R40 ? Oh, how is it even possible that lovely innocent Mia pearlina end up with a creep and a perv like Woody ? she has such an exquisite taste in men. Only the best. Sinatra, Sellers, Polanski, Previn, Roth....I don't see a pattern at all here

Wait for the raging borderlines to infest this thread tonight.

I love Bread.

A lot of borderlines are also highly sexual and can never get enough; heavily into alcohol, drugs, and other unhealthy coping mechanisms; self-harm; and make you feel guilty for making them upset when you really didn’t do anything to begin with.

Empty souls and miserable e46

[quote] you really didn’t do anything to begin with.

REALLY ? what do you do SUBCONSCIOUSLY ? do you think I don't KNOW what you do in your mind ?

R34 No. I see it more commonly in heterosexual people. Gays and lesbians are better at understanding shades of grey and complexity.

I hope so r49 .

R34 BDP mainly seems to be in the purview of straight women (especially straight white women). I've noticed a lot of gays are more autistic or manic depressive, but who know if that's due to fact that we are often born into a society that is antithetical to our existence.

R25 True. I read somewhere that bpd symptoms decrease with age and they author of the article was giving all of these convoluted psychological explanations for it. But I think at the end of the day most bpds only do what they can get away with and once the looks fade, they can get away with much less. The vast majority of Borderlines can and will cut it out if the people around them tell them to. But this rarely happens before they get older because they usually have an entourage of enthralled followers who are determined to " protect" them.

Straight men and lesbians are more likely to be on the autistic spectrum. Gay men seem to have more problems with self medicating depression with drugs.

Gay men have more NPD and borderline. White a few autistics too

With

Quite a few

[quote] they usually have an entourage of enthralled followers who are determined to " protect" them.

that's the most incredible part. My ex has circles of devotees who actually have meetings to organize the protection (since I manipulate the judges and the lawyers on both sides lol)

BDP is really hard to treat but Dialectical Behavior Therapy is one treatment that has data to show some effectiveness, and was developed by a person with BPD who was not satisfied with other treatments at the time.

Borderlines love to ask invasive questions right off the bat . Like “ What company do you work for what do you do part of town do you live in are you married were you ever married and have kids with your phone number yada yada yada

Borderlines will stare at you silently on first date for very long awkward stretches of time, and then, say things like "I feel a very deep connection with you"

Yes, creepy as fuck r60

Borderlines will follow you around your house after the first one night stand , asking angrily WHY YOU TUCKED YOUR SIDE OF THE BED AND NOT THEIRS ? and you'll have no idea what they're talking about, or why they're in that state of anger

Jodi arias is borderline.

I rejoice when they Kill themselves

Borderlines tend to fuck up all their relationships - be it romantic/sexual relationships or friendships - with their extreme mood swings, black-and-white thinking and what someone upthread referred to as 'splitting', not to mention the substance abuse issues and self-destructive behavior many of them display. Former lovers, family members and even friends of a person with BPD often end up needing therapy themselves.

However, I question the 'evil and manipulative' assessment. From my understanding, borderlines are SELF-destructive - meaning when they ruin yet another relationship or drive yet another friend away, it's really an act of self-sabotage, not simple disregard of the other's feelings, or even sadism. Granted, it might not make much of a difference to the 'victim'. From a psychological perspective however, I think it's important to ask why they behave the way they do. As for the 'manipulative' part - a classic borderline person will often use some kind of emotional blackmail, like threatening suicide to keep someone from leaving. And I guess the 'mirroring' often seen in the early stages of a relationship could be considered manipulative. However, those seem like highly automated behavioral patterns that a person with untreated BPD might not even be aware of. Purposeful manipulation is different imo. Not only is it fully intentional, it requires a lot of planning ahead to be successful. The primary characteristics of BPD however are emotional instability and [italic] impulsiveness[/italic]. Elaborate schemes/campaigns of vengeance don't sound like classic BPD to me. I think many of the people described as borderlines here on DL have other personality disorders besides BPD (e.g. narcissistic personality disorder or anti-social personality disorder).

Pete Davidson is Borderline. I suspect Stevie Nicks is as well.

R65, does not know much about borderlines.

You guys are ALL over the place.

Perhaps it would be useful to, rather than attempt to define borderline personality disorder separately, try to differentiate characteristics of BPD, Bi-Polar and narcissistic personality disorder.

There are bound to be crossover characteristics.

And, like some posters of this thread as well as other threads have pointed out, some people are just insecure assholes, needy, or immature.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but VERY generally speaking, could there be something to the notion that those that are ‘borderlines’ are capable of constructing personalities that are very effective at coming off as ‘together’ for quite a long while before noticing something’s amiss, as opposed to say raging narcissists who seem to be less able to cover-up asshole behavior for very long?

R68 here.

Is it safe to assume that NPD, Bi-Polar and NPD all project, all mirror, all manipulate, all play the victim card more so than most?

If so (and please correct me, maybe they don’t all do the above) what might one do that the others don’t?

I know I’ve run across all three at some point.

If I had to come up with a definitive characteristic, I’d say NPD tend to be in some position of authority or ‘specialness’ while that might not necessarily be true for Bi-Polar or BPDs.

And do all of them isolate?

I think BPDs isolate you from your friends in some way by knocking your loved-ones/friends down a peg in your eyes whenever the chance arises while sometimes, if not often, ingratiating themselves to those same loved-ones/friends to the point of gaining their trust and slipping them their misgivings or concerns about you?

Then they have you to themselves - almost like life support, so that if they decide the time is right to pull the rug out from under you, it is they and they alone that remain for you to be dependent on, so that losing them would be that much more unpleasant/unbearable - like a low-key Stockholm syndrome.

Curious about anyone else’s take on this hypothesis.

R68 Narcissistics tend to be very charming converationalists and are harder to pick out. Borderlines are charming, until they're not. Their behavior can degrade quite rapidly. Borderlines are also a lot more likely to feel defeated and question their self worth while narcissists always find ways to lift themselves up.

[R19], an invaluable use of your time. You describe someone I met 40 years ago who, though quite dead, still haunts the recesses of my memory. Your post is a key toward understanding that. Thank you.

See now, I have a raging narcissist boss that is actually rather clumsy in the charm department, R70.

Insults and tear-downs come often, sense of humor? He thinks he’s funny but he’s boorish, even lame with the jokes.

You can be doing an impeccable job, but he’ll criticize, often very inaccurately, because he has to be the best at everything, and you doing well - though it absolutely serves him - is actually regarded as a personal affront.

And rereading your post, R70, what you describe as borderline actually rings true to me when I think of Bi-Polar.

I’m not sure why I find it fascinating to distinguish between these disorders.

If I’m being honest, I think it would be helpful to know which would be hopeless to continue, but then of course why not run for the hills from any one of them?!

I guess when you’re in a situation you simply cannot abandon - at least not anytime in the immediate future - it could serve to know the differences and that could aid in navigating a work situation you could not possibly abandon yet, or a loved-one that you simply cannot pitch on a tire fire because of the family ties that bind you there at all.

I suppose ‘grey-rocking’ as it’s known would serve whole enduring any and all of these disordered people, really.

* while enduring

How many of the mightmare 'borderlines' described in this thread and elsewhere on DL are really antisocial personalities, or have both BPD and antisocial personality disorder?

mightbare = nightmare

I think other things that identify Borderline personalities are a high level of anxiety coming from them- I have heard it described as a borderline between anxiety and psychosis.

An anxiety to be liked- and also an anxiety they will be found out not be be who they pretend to be. I do think lying is more common with this personality disorder and also gas lighting, and doing things like buying gifts and love bombing so people feel indebted to you.

A lot of defensive borderlines on here .

I was close friends with a girl with BPD for a couple years and she almost drained the life out of me. I've learned things about myself since then and steer clear of people with her same vibe.

Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?

Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?

Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?

Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?

Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?

Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?

Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?

Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc? Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc? Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

What is the diagnosis for people who are obsessed with the psychology and creepy pathetic Internet culture and quack docs all centered on NPD, BPD, dark triad, etc etc etc?Several new threads a week.

As far as I can tell, I’ve never had close dealings with any male borderlines, but I for sure have had a couple of female borderlines in my life. I only know one for sure—I actually saw court documents where her diagnosis was mentioned. I didn’t know a lot about BPD, but I read up a bit and it all became clear. I have cut her out of my life. There’s another who I suspect is BPD, or a narcissist, or fuck, maybe just a drunk, but I’ve cut her out as well. Life’s too short for that turmoil and evil. They have both whined to mutual friends that I have “blocked” them but I just don’t care.

Good for you r81

It seems like half of the people I know have become functional alcoholics during covid.

I was just going to say, I think Covid and the the attendant isolation has exponentially upped peoples' crazy: divorces, alcoholism, and undeniable mental disorders are rampant with people I know coast to coast. Maybe we just didn't notice when we were busier?

This has been a rough, existential time.

[quote)Narcissistics tend to be very charming converationalists and are harder to pick out. Borderlines are charming, until they're not. Their behavior can degrade quite rapidly. Borderlines are also a lot more likely to feel defeated and question their self worth while narcissists always find ways to lift themselves up.

Agree 100% with above. If you had to make an [bold]educated[/bold] choice (or rather if you did not have a choice) of choosing to live with a borderline, a narcissist and an antisocial personality, you'd choose the borderline over the narcissist and the antisocial one. Borderlines will be done with you the moment you realize their personal defect. Now between the narcissist and the antisocial, you'll have to chose the narcissist who at least will try to seduce you for as long it works for them. Then all bets are off. Then there is the antisocials: you don't want to have anything to do with them, because they have no values, no rules and no sense of empathy and will only be fair with you as they see it working towards their goals. They won't have any qualms getting rid of you, by any mean necessary, the moment you obstruct their plan.

Borderlines will torture you for their misery and then ghost you and ignore you, while narcissists will belittle you until you GTFA and then some, and antisocial, well antisocial, I hope you get security.

Siobhan Fahey and Angelina Jolie are the poster children of BPD, Madonna and Faye Dunaway of NPD, and about a half of people in prison exhibit antisocial behavior. Now what was someone so deliriously NPD and APD doing in the White House for 4 years is a question we should really ponder because we can't allow this situation to happen ever again.

OP is a BPD obsessed whack job who bumps her own stale threads. Muriel needs to banish this exhausting head case.

I just spent a miserable weekend with one. Unstable, narcissistic, constantly getting high, random anger fits and crying jags. Calling my partner his best friend when he doesn’t know him that well.

I think I was friends with someone with BPD at work. One day I was running late to work and she apparently said hello to me but in my rush I didn’t see or hear her. I was literally running, trying not to be late. She started with the whole silent treatment thing, even though I explained I hadn’t seen or heard her. It wasn’t the first time she’d done it, and I was under a lot of stress at the time so I was not going to keep playing her game and just let her be. She proceeded to become openly hostile to me in the office and started turning coworkers against me. Finally I requested to move floors to get away from her. I never saw her again, but learned the only solution to some people is DISTANCE.

I love how DLers complain about BPD and act like they can spot them, but none of you cop to being diagnosed with it. I suspect many of you have something very wrong mentally. Obsessing over this shit and posting about it nonstop is definitely a sign something is off.

R89 is a borderline gaslighting . He feels attacked. Ha ha ha

R90, doesn’t know what gaslighting is.

What r89 said.

I have really bad OCD. Not the type that people used to brag about having when it was the metal illness du jure. I will analyze 5 minute conversations for years afterwards. My brain will go "Oh, you're trying to sleep? What about this conversation you had with your coworker 10 years ago?". Vacations are always a mental strain because my brain goes through every permutation of what could go wrong with my house when I'm not there. I have strict checklists for leaving the house and it drives my partner nuts. I inherited it from my father who was diagnosed independent from myself.

What's funny about the borderline troll (and a lot of the responses on these threads) is that the "anti-borderlines" engage in the exact same splitting behavior that's endemic to BPD and see the borderline patient as "all bad."

R94, borderline is a form of psychosis . It’s wise to be wary.

R94, of course borderlines aren't "all bad."

Just as a delicious slice of cake, with only a tiny bit of strychnine, isn't all bad. 99.9% of it is delightful and tempting.

It's just that the .1% of it that's bad will kill you horribly.

How long until it's considered un-PC to warn people about people with psycho personality disorders.

That time is now R97

R96 they won't kill you... just make your life just as miserable as theirs. They are seriously mentally ill and need therapy. That said, OP does seem to hate people with mental illnesses.

R99, not hate, just extreme caution like around nuke bombs

BPD Is not a psychosis. It is a neurosis, a personality disorder, an inappropriate coping skill. Psychosis is Axis I. Neurosis is Axis II.

All semantics r101, equally harmful

Here’s what I’ve gathered:

If you end up with a full blown BPD who is also malignant, then don’t come bitching to me, because for sure you’re just as fucked up and possibly malignant.

BPD, or even a narcissist, doesn’t necessarily make you a malignant person as well. It just makes you disordered.

Most of us are fucked up in one way or another. It takes a lot of self awareness, self introspection, and continuous work to move forward from the C-PTSD and inappropriately formed childhood attachments we were unknowingly forced to form with people who were clueless on child rearing, much less aware that they too, were either to fucked up to procreate responsibly, or were too exploitative not to, seeking to game whatever system available to them when irresponsibly popping out kids they wanted for more welfare checks and food stamps.

All things considered, things could have been much worse for all of us here, and we could have been born in some godforsaken war zone, having our arms chopped off because we whimpered when some soldier decided to kidnap us from our village in the Congo.

What I’ve finally understood is that most people are either already total psychopaths, swindlers, con artists, liars, etc., while the rest are their prey. There’s rarely any in between.

And guess what? Time and time again, humanity shows us that when given what we believe to be a choice made under conditions which are alleged “FREE WILL”, most of us, ESPECIALLY those of us who have more than enough with little to nothing to lose, will inevitably “choose” to fuck over those who are barely hanging on, because… why not?

Look at the south. I am. And all I see is a bunch of hateful fucks of all races and colors, coagulated into an already hardened artery, of men and women whose ancestors put their lives on the line in order to own the lives of others as enslaved property, bought & sold like livestock.

You think these fuckers down here see things differently today? You all know they do not. If an executive order came out which dictated that white folks could own any minority, immediately? I promise you that the sweetest old man who mows your lawn would be marching your black ass or your neighbors’ black asses right to his backyard, without any hesitation or moral quandary.

Bottom line: it’s not the borderlines who are problematic. It’s the fuckers who abused them that are the true problem, and it’s a generational thing, and will not end until we decide that children are not toys to be held ransom through our divorce courts, nor are they here to be our government cheese mascots.

R103, the personification of a borderline!! What a delusional , retarded fuck

Seems like I’m gonna lose my mind… 🎵