Did you personally know anyone who committed suicide?

What a lovely topic for a Saturday night, OP!

Yes, a gay guy who obviously had trouble with his sexuality whom I was at university with some aeons ago. Because it was a "posh" university the Daily Mail somehow got hold of the story of the suicide of the "brilliant" student, which was ascribed to him having been unlucky in love with a girl...

My sister.

Someone I worked with in a volunteer theater company. A beautiful man.

And a few people who drank themselves to death (but that's not what you asked, so never mind that).

The sister of a girl I went to high school with. She blew her brains out with a shot gun. Odd kind of suicide for a girl, if you look at the statistics, but I guess needs must.

Many: my friend’s sister jumped off a roof of an office building, my friend’s brother jumped in front of a commuter train, my friend hung himself. All that was by the time I was 17. As an adult, I have known more. The most recent was my friend’s husband: he jumped off a bridge.

Two jumpers; one off a cliff (20, super conservative family, couldn't deal with being gay) and the other off a bridge leaving a wife and two children (never explained, but see the first one). A friend from work did the hose from the exhaust pipe in the garage. Her husband and son died within a year of each other and she just couldn't cope. And finally one who hanged himself because he was facing a severe medical problem that was going to be painful, drawn out, and terminal. No warnings or clues from any of them -just lots of guilt feelings afterward...

My mother, aged 93.

My former trainer, friend, and Broadway actor.

Condolences, R6.

Yes, an absolutely gorgeous bipolar guy. Just GORGEOUS. Supposedly autoerotic asphyxiation suicide but, he wasn't into that when we dated and the girl he was with was a scuzzy junkie. I suspect he actually OD'ed and she didn't want to get prosecuted so she strung him up and said he was kinky and suicidal.

A neighbor, beautiful 28 year old woman, owned her own business, hung herself in the basement.

An uncle and a grandfather.

A Native American vet I went to college with later hanged himself on the property I worked at.

My brother shot himself in the head when he was 14...I was 7. I've always suspected that he was also gay, and that the pressure of the nasty fucks in junior high, along with puberty, along with knowing you were different, especially in small town mid-western US, were the contributing factors. I have only a few memories of him at this point. I always wonder what he would have been like, had he grown-up. Sad, but life goes on.

And of course, supposedly my uncle many years ago but I have become convinced he didn't kill himself and lived secretly for many years.

My father’s brother did the car exhaust thing. Another uncle (maternal aunt’s husband) parked his car on the train tracks. A former classmate hanged herself on the back of her bedroom door and her mother found her. Another old friend drank himself to death.

A child we knew jumped off the roof of a building a few months ago. That one absolutely gutted me. He was 12. For weeks I couldn’t shake the sadness.

The sister of one of my friends from childhood. One of my friend's mothers. A guy I knew from high school. Many, many acquaintances. A few former co-workers.

R15 that's awful. 12?

A couple of days ago, a 12 year old girl jumped out of her apartment window. She left a suicide note. I can’t even imagine.

Mother of my high school best friend. Shot herself in the head the day after graduation as an FU to my friend. Mother’s parents blamed my friend rather than mother being bipolar.

Former coworker. Also shot himself. Waited until wife went to work so cleaning lady would find him.

My aunt had lost her only child, her 22-year-old son. At the time of his death, he lived in her house, and they had finally arrived at the point where they were friends in addition to being mother and son. He died suddenly, a mile away from their house, in a car accident.

In a lawsuit related to the accident, my aunt won some money. Her younger brother (my uncle) intervened to try to help her. He made her put the money in a new bank account, and he served as custodian of the account to try to help her manage the money. He also made her go to rehab. She had struggled with addiction issues for decades. It was one of the reasons she had agreed to let her ex-husband have primary custody of their son.

But, after her life had revolved around her son for so long, it was hard for her to stay happy without him. Not long after she got out of rehab, she shacked up with a man she had met at rehab. She demanded that her brother give her access to the bank account with the lawsuit money. After she and her boyfriend got their hands on that money, they started using drugs again. She shot herself while high on cocaine.

No one was surprised when it happened. It was like watching a car rolling down a hill and being unable to stop it.

An old classmate of mine. He was the class clown, but in a good way - never picked on or humiliated anyone. I didn't know him that well but he was a nice lad. (I know people always say nice things about people who die, but he really was.) Years after we left school, he was at a friend's flat, and the friend had a row with his girlfriend (his own girlfriend, not my ex-classmate's). He stood up for her, and his "friend" went berserk - beat him, kicked him, glassed him, knocked out his teeth, left him with permanent scarring.

When the attacker was released after only a year and a half in prison, my ex-classmate was absolutely terrified that he would come after him. He had a part in a short film but never showed up for the premiere. He had killed himself. It always angers me when people say suicide is the coward's way out. They have no idea.

I had a girlfriend who was living with a guy who had emotional problems. After a year of trying to get him help, she finally gave up and asked him to move out. While she was out of town, he slit his wrists in her kitchen but put his arms in a garbage bag to minimize the mess. A neighbor found him and called her brother who drove all night to take care of the body and clean up the mess so she wouldn't come home and see it.

Years ago in our small town, the son of a local minister found out that his youngest son was not his but was his father's. He shot him. Can't say I blame him.

R23 Actually, he shot himself. Not his son or his father.

I had a neighbor who was happily married for almost 60 years. His wife died suddenly from a heart attack. He struggled along without her for about 6 months before drowning himself in a nearby river with concrete blocks. It was awful as everyone felt guilty for not suspecting it might happen. They were such a charming old couple.

Several. A classmate in high school shot himself. A friend from college hanged himself right after graduation. In September 2020 a closeted woman whom I had known for over 30 years shot herself—leaving behind two teen daughters. I felt very angry about that one. A guy I was seeing when I was 26 slit his wrists when I wasn’t answering his calls one day. He was saved from dying though. A close friend froze to death intentionally at 22. That one hurt a lot.

My brother just committed suicide back in April. He was arguing with his wife and ran in the house and shot himself. Was a sad waste of a life.

When we were 14, one of my classmates went home after school and found his mother hanging from the staircase. Just horrific.

Does anyone have a suicide tale with an odd, wacky upbeat ending that would serve to end this depressing thread?

odd r29

I didn't want to go deeply into the details of my sister's suicide, but I will tell you all to pay close attention to loved ones with abusive spouses.

Just because someone is not being physically abused doesn't mean they don't need help. My sister, a very smart, compassionate person who worked as a nurse for years, had her awful piece of shit husband mindfuck her for so long that she lost belief in herself, then her job and her bearings. There's a place in hell for him and I hope it's hot.

Anyway, don't wait for a big fight or dramatic moment to offer help. Listen to your instincts.

I've wanted to research the life of my co-worker who shot himself to death. He was Mexican, short and stocky, and just a nice guy all-around. He lived with an older white guy he called his father and was very proud of him. I would never have guessed he was gay, so it might have just been platonic, don't know. But the older guy died and my friend went into a deep depression. Nothing would get him out of it (believe me, I tried); he had no interest in talking about anything. He lost a lot of weight. Then one day I showed up to work and everyone was crying and they told me he had shot himself. They managed to find a sister of his somewhere in California, but there was never any funeral or anything. So we held a little memorial service in the campus chapel. I've always wondered if there was any way we could have helped him out of his depression, but I don't think so.

My best friend 2 months after his mom did.

^ Dana Plato's kid.

Yes, she was more of an acquaintance than a friend. She was 21, the sister of a NYC cop and had been in and out of hospitals for depression. Her idiot brother left his police revolver where anyone could get to it. She did and shot herself in the heart. The family was Italian and when I went to her funeral I was shocked to see she was in the coffin done up like a bride. I was told by another friend, also Italian that it is their custom to do that when a young unmarried girl dies.

I didn't want to ask but don't Catholics think if you kill yourself you can never get to heaven. No one seemed to be thinking that at the funeral. Her mother was screaming and crying and carrying on to beat the band and rushing to the coffin every 5 minutes to stroke and hug the girl. It was downright creepy. BTW, that is also the only funeral I've ever been to and it was like 40 yrs ago. My family doesn't do funerals. They just get cremated and brought home in an urn. No service. I plan the same for myself with a friend agreeing to take me and the rest of my dead family to her home and keep us in a closet . Seriously. When she dies I have no idea what will become of us. Probably the city dump.

That's common at the Mexican funerals here R35. A Mexican guy I knew said it was expected. Funeral and a show.

R35, if you already have some ashes of your family members, why not sprinkle them somewhere pretty, like in the shallow waves of a beach or by a small stream?

Then, when your friend collects your ashes, ask her to do the same for you.

The father of a woman I dated in my teens. He and I played chess and I worked with him briefly one summer. He had become a father figure to me (my father died when I was thirteen). Later the same year another older man I looked up to was killed in an accident. One of the sadder years of my life.

Does career suicide count?

My newly ex-boyfriend at the time who had borderline personality disorder. It was ruled “accidental” but he knew exactly what he was doing as he had told me he wanted to die and has made so many attempts.

I was glad though. We are both finally at peace and I don’t have to worry about him stalking me the rest of my life.

One late evening after a snowstorm I left the office only to find that my car wouldn't start. I was at the security kiosk calling a cab when someone from another department overhead as he was leaving. He offered me a ride which I gladly accepted because a 20 mile cab ride into the city from our suburban office park would have been a lot.

He worked in another department and I only knew him by sight though I recognized the name from the company directory. It was nice chatty conversation about totally benign topics (traffic, annoying drivers, Chicago living). His affect was perfectly fine -- we laughed about our suburban counterparts quirks, Mayor Daley's verbal diarrhea. I thanked him profusely and offered gas money which he refused. I gave him my cell # and said if he ever had car trouble to call.

A few days later I got a call from HR asking to come down to speak to a detective. They wouldn't tell me why. WTF? Apparently, he didn't show up for work or answer the phone and coworkers became concerned. The company called the police to ask for a wellness check and they found him. I was stunned. I guess I was the last person to see him alive. The detective asked about his state of mind, how I knew him, series of events that evening, what we talked about. And that was it. I asked what happened and that's when the detective said suspected suicide. It didn't occur to me later that I might have been a suspect if COD hadn't been determined yet...

Yeah my only sibling, my brother, took a shotgun, stuck it in his mouth and blew his brains out. His second marriage was failing and they were separated and soon to be divorced. He had never had much luck holding down a job and was always lousy handling money. He was facing having to pay child support and end of his second marriage. He didn't leave a note but he had plenty of reasons to do it. Because of Social Security death benefits his two children had over a $1,000 a month each in government payments to support them, more than they would have ever gotten if he was alive.

A friend of my sister’s when I was in high school. She grew up in Greenwich, CT and her father was a higher up with the fire department. During the Michael Skakel trial ~2000-01, she had some weird mental breakdown because her dad knew something about Martha Moxley’s murder, I’m guessing he was a first responder at the time. Anyway, she had run her car off the road totaling it, but survived, albeit with some scrapes and bruises and a concussion. The hospital released her instead of keeping her on a psych hold. About a week or so later, during early morning rush hour, she jumped off an overpass on I-95. She had briefly mentioned something to my sister about the Moxley murder, but never divulged. The next day the front page of Connecticut Post had a picture of a white sheet and blood splatter on 95.

That was the most fucked up thing I’ve ever seen in a newspaper. My sister never drove on that bridge again.

A friend in college

A business partner

A brother-in-law

I could go on . . .

A kid I went to grade school with, a real jerk, the father was an abusive alcoholic. Liked to fight but wasn't very good at it. Nearly killed several times. My (estranged) father married his sister. One night she wouldn't give him money for drugs so he shot his head off. Honestly, it was a good thing, he was nothing but trouble.

Their younger brother tried to commit suicide when he was a teen but he didn't aim well and survived with hideous scars and is paralyzed on one side. He never leaves home.

Yes, a kid in my middle school. His parents were getting divorced and he couldn't handle it, so I think he hung himself. He was a nice guy.

R41 here. I'm surprised by how many people knew someone personally or very well who committed suicide.

I've known others, but as patients from my years working in mental health field before changing careers. Their histories, presentation and affect, family background you name it were littered with predictors.

The neighborhood I grew up in was all built brand new in the early 70's. There's one house in particular that three families have lived in to date. I'm not superstitious, but someone out of all three of the families committed suicide in that house, one by purposefully overdosing, and the other two by gunshot to the head.

My exes godson...shot himself at 22. The family acted if he never existed...very sad

If people would just get out of their own heads and care about someone or something else. If you're responsible for a pet or something, think about what would happen if you weren't there anymore.

It's not all about you.

My friend in R32 looked just like this guy. All DL threads should have pics.

r50 Give me a break. Our lives are our own.

Someone I knew through school. Hung himself in the local jail. He was a bully from a rather poor, fucked-up family. I think he reached a point of seeing his life was hopeless.

A cousin--had many physical and behavioral problems growing up--was allergic to just about everything. Divorced parents--horrible father. Shot himself.

A former professor of mine. Was finally talked into retirement at age 82. Shot himself in a public park.

A colleague--got caught defrauding the government. Had a chronic disease and died mysteriously--people assumed he knew how to manipulate meds to off himself.

One I didn't know. An uncle--had terminal cancer, alcoholic. Before I was born, sounded like he was gay. Shot himself.

Too many.

My Grandfather, a nephew, a Niece and an Uncle.

It becomes rather normal in the end, there used to be a VIZ character called 'Suicidal Syd'.

I live in that World.

Forgot about my ex-boyfriend. It gets difficult to keep track.

R54, it does seem to run in some families. I know of zero suicides in my extended family. While a family like Ernest Hemingway's - multiple suicides. I wonder if there's a genetic element to it though some say it's contagious.

R42 I'm sorry. Not a club I would want anyone to join.

When I was in the military there was a gorgeous guy in my unit who made me weak each time I saw him. However, he was enlisted and I was an officer, so I had to be strictly professional when we interacted.

In addition to his looks, he was also very intelligent and friendly. Everyone loved him. But for whatever reason, he committed suicide even though he was only in his early 20s at the time. There were rumors it had to do with a girl, which just made no sense considering he was the type who had people (male and female) lining up for his attention.

Now that I think of it, the few people I knew who committed suicide when I was younger, each did it in part because of a failed relationship. After 30, the reason has been almost exclusively professional disgrace.

I've known 3. One who I believe was gay and in a bearding marriage. The other 2 were relationship based.

A friend’s son; a teenager who had been suffering from depression. He shot himself. At his wake, the Catholic priest who said the prayers at the end of the night also made very personal, empathetic comments about Johnny’s suicide. The priest admitted that in the past the Catholic Church had judged people who committed suicide but that was no longer the case as so much was understood now about depression and the suffering it caused.

He went on to say that he himself had been diagnosed with depression and that medication and therapy had saved him. He added that anyone who was suffering from depression should reach out and get the help they needed.

I can’t remember verbatim what he said but the emotion stuck with me.

This thread is both riveting and incredibly depressing.

Last year, one of my students killed herself by hanging. She was 12. It is difficult for me to even type this.

Please reach out if you are desperate.

Good friend in high school. She was a stunning Italian girl, who resembled Gia. She got pregnant at 16, and her parents were catholic and wealthy. She overdosed on pills. Her dad was a shell of a man after. I lost another good friend in college. He was a division one football player, and in the closet. People on his team started to catch on, and the guys were alienating him. He shot himself in the head in his parent’s basement, surrounded by his football trophies and photos. We attended college in the Midwest, and it was the early 90’s. I wish that he could’ve hung on, or just moved away to a more liberal city.

That breaks my heart, r62. She was a baby. I can’t even imagine the pain a child must be in at that age to decide to end their life….fuck…I’m going to have a glass of wine and go to bed.

A number of people over the years. Mainly fellow workers for a whole variety of reasons.

One girl, she was 27. Slit her wrists.

And I feel like I am going to off myself soon. Not kidding.

R62 - Reading such a thing about a 12 year old took my breath away for a moment.

And then I got to r66, time stamped an hour ago telling us about an impending demise? I don't even know who or what to contact, Muriel!!!😭

Don't do it, r66! Life is good, even when it's shit.

Why the fuck would you feel "guilt" for someone else's train wreck of a life? Unless you're a revolting religious person, which in that case you're hopeless and deserve to burn in your fucking hell. Horrible EST.

^ Whereas you, R69, could [italic]never[italic/] be described as revolting and horrible.

Oopsie ^ But you get the picture.

Sadly I know two who jumped off Golden Gate Bridge, one in '90s and other more recently.

My cousin. He was in the car in the garage....with the car running. I wasn't close to him....and he was always in some sort of trouble. He was young....in his early twenties. This happened many years ago.

A girl I was friendly with in high school. Didn’t see her much after graduation, but heard about her suicide a few years ago from mutual friends. Apparently, her husband had left her for another woman. She had attempted the car exhaust/ garage thing, but she must have changed her mind because she was found—by her twin sister—in the threshold between the garage and the kitchen, IN HER WEDDING DRESS. The car was scattered with wedding photos. Sad.

This happened before I was born, but my aunt’s first husband. According to my mother, he had shot himself, but had made sure to cover everything with drop cloths so as not to make a mess. No note. My poor aunt found him. My mother eventually told me her suspicion was that he was gay and couldn’t handle it.

A woman I knew who was a caregiver to her parents. She had some issues with social anxiety and agoraphobia so rarely worked. For her entire life she relied on her parents financially.

When her mother died the will said her brother would get the house but only if his sister lived in the house and he maintained it. But the mother didn't stipulate any other conditions and three weeks after the funeral the woman got a letter from her brothers lawyer saying she had 10 days to vacate the property because it was being sold.

She must have gone into a severe panic or anxiety attack or something because she took a pile of pain pills left over from her mother and died. She died in the house and she wasn't discovered for two weeks. Maybe a last fuck you to her brother.

A good friend's ex boyfriend. Lovely guy, but caught up in the recovered memory panic in the mid 80's when his brother went to a crazy therapist (who was later disbarred) for depression and all four brothers ended up having recovered memories of their father sexually abusing them. A couple of years later he got engaged to a lovely girl and was doing his honers year, hit a snag in his research and offed himself in the lab. It was the ultimate permanent solution to a temporary problem. It took me decades to trust therapists after that. I'm still cynical about any cutting edge psychology/therapy.

A former coworker of mine. She had moved away - her husband got a promotion in another city. I hadn’t been in touch with her for a couple of years. She had gotten divorced (don’t know the specifics), but was told she was devastated and finally took her own life… Her youngest son found her dead. I cried when I heard the news.. She was always so much fun at work..

Our lives have become more walled off and disconnected.

If you live/lived in a suburb where you could pull into your garage, you could go for long stretches without having to interact with a neighbor.

Social media gives us the illusion of community, but often presents a sanitized image without the kind of close ties one gets in a real community.

People in general attend church less than 30 or 50 years ago. I have complicated feelings about organized religion but it was still a source for community and support.

None of this is a judgement on any one or any one of us. My point was to say, we often have people saying they wish they could just end it all, quietly slip away. And it's sad but I don't know that I am surprised. Without support, a human being can only go so far.

Gays and lesbians were always more likely to be excluded from a familial support system. But now, so many people, across lines of race, sexuality, gender, and class, live a solitary life.

Having too many people (family, leaders) involved in your life and trying to make decisions for you suffocated some people in years and centuries past. But we are on the other extreme now, I think, and for some it may be as bad or worse as the other extreme

Even a true sense of community doesn't always help everyone. Some people have social anxiety (either born with it or developed it after a trauma like bullying), and they can't connect with other people. Some above called suicide a "selfish" act. But that's not fair to say. Depression distorts a person's perception. They believe that they are not good enough to be loved by the people around them, and they believe that their family, friends, neighbors and coworkers will be better off without them, that they might somehow bring down those people if they hang around. So, it's not always "selfish".

A neighbor was in his 40s and had never moved out of his mother's house. He lived like a teenager, only working odd jobs, but spending the rest of his time working on projects with friends that were guaranteed not to make money. He spent a lot of time on the Internet communication with people about their shared hobbies. His mother passed away, leaving all of her possessions (a modest house) to her three grown children to share equally. His sisters decided to sell the house. After they failed to gently encourage him to leave after several months, they served him an eviction notice. Shortly after, he committed suicide.

The man was pleasant, but he must have had some crippling anxiety that led to failure-to-launch syndrome. From his sisters' point of view, it didn't seem fair that that their brother should just inherit the house.

I honestly think everybody who lives long enough knows somebody who committed suicide. It's just a matter of time, sadly.

What is the point of this thread? Yes, I’ve known a couple of people who offed themselves. Now what?

^^The point is, its an interesting thread, and a welcome change from the Golden Girls and trans bullshit. If you're offended why did you take time to respond? ^^

R51 Coincidentally, that guy just died a few months ago. We still don't know what happened.

My poor cousin, so many years ago. He was what was described in old novels as a ‘tortured soul’. I didn't know him well enough to have any ideas about what finally led to his death - but there were years and years when he was wrestling with his identity, and wondering just who he was, and whether religion was the reason. He finally went on his third attempt - pills and whisky, I hope he found peace. RIP.

R66, please check in with us. Make the phone call!

R80 I didn't mean to imply that community was everything. My meaning was more that I think more of us overall are pushed to points of despair without any support system to potentially help us.

But my sister, despite her emotionally abusive spouse, had all of us and my dad, who was willing to move heaven and earth for her to get her out of the hell she was in. She was just so afraid to make the leap that she ended her life instead.

A writer/columnist I like very much lost a brother to suicide. He had his family and a lot of friends rooting for him, but he could not escape the dual enemies of depression and alcoholism.

The true whys of that decision are always a mystery.

A cousin went from childhood hero to teenaged psychopath and I was stuck babysitting him whenever his mom dropped in for a long visit.

He shot himself with a gun kept in his dad's locked safe. I deliberately missed his last phone call.

The family blamed alcohol and drugs for his schizophrenia, but it was probably self medication.

It's amazing how much blame my family tried to lay at my feet.

A middle-aged man who lived with his wife a few houses down the street from us when I was growing up.

He was a nice, pleasant guy. My mother would often drop in to visit with them when she was returning from shopping. One day, when Mom was leaving their place, John came to the door with her and stepped outside. He said, "I don't know how much longer I can stand this."

Then he proceeded to tell her that the nice kindly woman his wife appeared to be to outsiders was not the person he knew...sarcastic, argumentative, full of constant putdowns.

Mom commiserated with him. Two weeks later, John went into his garage, rolled up the windows of his car, plugged the tailpipe, and sat in the driver's seat for the last time.

R66 please dont...even in this shitty life (which hasn't been kind to me either) there is always something to live for. For me it's my beloved cat. I need to be here to care for him

I tried. I failed. I'm glad.

R66 Change your life if you're unhappy. Don't end it.

R66, have you tried medication? Meditation? Spending time in nature? These things helped me. The book ‘Reasons to live’ by Haig also helped when I was at my darkest. Just try like hell to keep going, one day at a time. Things always get better, or at least manageable. Please check in with us. Maybe we can help.

[quote]But the mother didn't stipulate any other conditions and three weeks after the funeral the woman got a letter from her brothers lawyer saying she had 10 days to vacate the property because it was being sold.

That brother was a horrible asshole. I hope he feels a lot of guilt. I don't understand how family can be so horrible to each other and get so greedy. The mom should have stipulated that the daughter be allowed to live out her days or until she was ready to move on.

Two people I knew committed suicide in shocking ways, both tragic and unexpected.

The first was a wealthy woman in her 70s woman who killed herself during rush hour on an interstate highway, crushed to death under a semi truck. She had crashed her car into a light post but didn’t die so she got out and laid under an 18 wheelers rear tires. It was a gruesome demise for such an accomplished woman.

The second was a brief acquaintance three years ago. He was 27 and I met him through a friend—and he and I bonded over our absent fathers and the fact that we were from the same state. I even tried to find some girls for him (unsuccessfully) one night during the Labor Day weekend we hung out. He blew his brains out in his car one day during his lunch break in a parking lot. It was shocking to say the least, because during the weekend we hung out, there was NO indication that he was suicidal, not well adjusted, etc.

R76 r81 Stories like these are why I'm cynical of the attitude prevalent that siblings will be built in friends for life. I've seen and heard stories of so many adult siblings turning on each other even for seemingly petty reasons ( ie spouse of one sibling dislikes the other sibling) or simply not talking for years. As well as the inevitable fights over money if the parents are well off. Interestingly younger siblings seem more likely to turn on the older ones than vice versa.

My cousin about 12 years ago. She hung herself

A little mentioned problem with suicide is that it can seem to be infectious.

Once a relative/sibling/friend succeeds then it seems to plant a seed in others close to them. It's happened in my family.

It's particularly true of teens and adolescents, r99. They're more suggestible and impulsive and dealing with hormones. They still haven't developed coping skills and feel that hopelessness is a permanent state.

And, of course, the four suicides of the Metropolitan DC police officers who were at the 1/6 insurrection is a stark reminder.

Thanks for all the stories

My grandpa, who had immigrated to the US from Denmark, offed himself in the garage by self-asphyxiating in his car with a hose on the exhaust pipe.

The government had claimed eminent domain on his farm, which provided the only work he'd ever known, and he lost his mind over it.

Yes

You made the right choice by not answering his calls, madam. Unless you are an alcoholic, don't waste time talking to drunks. Unless you're a drug addict, yada yada yada. You don't owe losers anything.

I knew someone who survived a suicide attempt when he was 10. He became very interested in researching stories like his and talking about it. It’s very painful to think of a child being in that much pain, but the point he often made was that for children, attempts are often MUCH more impulsive than anything. They don’t perceive the seriousness and permanence of what they’re doing in the same way. For the most part, it is more akin to a sudden tragic accident than the kid feeling a tortuous and long running depression, the way an adult victim of suicide may be. (Although, I have also heard that adult suicide attempts while drunk or high are somewhat common - that would be another example of impulsivity.)

If that helps anyone.

A very close early childhood friend committed suicide at around the age of 20. When she turned up missing while away at college, I joined a search party. She was later found having hanged herself. Her sister died of leukemia at about the same age some 7 years earlier. Very sad.

OP = House next door Neighbor. About 5 years ago. Didn't know him well. During the afternoon the cops were at their house. The cops told the wife to leave overnight and the husband said he would kill himself if she left. It wasn't a giant dramatic thing. I didn't know the guy but I sure didn't believe it. The wife left. Later that evening we heard a giant PoP sound. Honestly it didn't even register to me about what had happened earlier in the day. Roomie and I heard the sound and went out and immediately saw flames in their house. One of us called the cops another of us ran to the other neighbors (another gay couple) to warn them that house was on fire.. All four of us were on their porch and pounding on the door and the flames were just getting bigger and bigger in their windows and we got afraid the windows would blow out. I heard later he poured gas thruout the house and I believe it because that place went up fast. Finally the Fire Dept and cops showed up. Turns out the husband shot himself after torching the place. He had taken the wifes dog and put it in the unattached garage (so it was safe). Crazy to think we were pounding on the door and he was shot inside. The local news showed up and our neighbors got right in front of the cameras like the drama queens they are. The wife showed up the next day to salvage some stuff but the home was a total loss. Eventually the city took the property and bulldozed it.

My uncle was diagnosed with brain cancer and hung himself in a city park. A tenant in a building I managed cut his wrists after he started going downhill from aids. A 13 year old boy who hung himself the day before school started because he just couldnt face going back to the place he where was bullied so much. he was overweight,and very shy. One of the sweetest,most loving kids youd ever want to meet.His mother never recovered and died of heart failure 5 years later. We always said she died of a broken heart. His parents had no idea he was being bullied so much. The school never notified them,and the boy never said a word.

Several, a good friend in college, took pills when his girlfriend rejected him.

I am pretty sure a friend in high school did by wrapping his car around a tree, but he left no note so it wasn't ruled a suicide.

Coworker, he found out his wife was screwing another coworker, shot his wife in the head, and then killed himself. The wife didn't die but was a vegetable for years, his minor children came home to find blood coming from under their parents bedroom door.

A friend of my parents, but it was so long ago, I was just a kid I don't remember all the details.

My brother, he was separating from his second wife, and shot himself in the head.

My brother’s best friend’s little sister killed herself when she was 13. I was probably 17 or so and I was shocked.

Later, one of my students killed herself two years after I had her in my class. She was 14 and shot herself. She always seemed very sad and I remember had lots of problems with her mom. Also missed a ton of school. Kids go through so many ups and downs in puberty, I do think in most cases of a younger person’s suicide it’s an impulsive act that they don’t understand will be forever. It is heartbreaking though. I honestly can’t imagine how their parents get through it.

When I was in high school, my parents pitted me against another kid from a different school because they considered his parents their own rivals.

We both went to good colleges and then had great jobs. When I came out as gay, my parents hid it from those parents. He was visiting Africa and taking anti-malaria pills, which have a side effect of psychosis.

Just upon return to the US, he committed suicide. His parents tried desperately to hide the suicide and called it a heart attack. I knew someone who worked at the hospital and she revealed the whole story to me.

R108, he didn’t “hung” himself. He “hanged” himself.

Deep depression must be such a horrid state that your mind wants you to kill yourself

Yes. my best friend.

he was straight and gorgeous.

I'm gay and could never figure out why I wasn't in love with him. I realized later he was lost and I usually fall in love with stronger men.

I'd do anything to bring him back.

A few during the AIDS years.

The pediatrician who delivered me was, years later, accusing of diddling a lot of the kiddies in his care.

He drove up a mountain, hiked a trail, got deep in the woods and blew his head off with a rifle.

I knew a guy who committed suicide. I went on one date with him, but never hooked up with him because he had HIV.

Cheslie Kryst

Cheslie Kryst

Yes, many years ago, there was a very straight looking and straight acting college jock. He was so unhinged about being gay. He hated himself. He hated his attraction to other men. I’m not sure what happened, but the rumor was he committed suicide.

In another instance, a young gay man was plagued with anxiety and depression. He was a misfit. We went out together, but there was no sex. (I wasn’t attracted to him.) We remained friendly and volunteered at an AIDS organization. Months later, he committed suicide. (This was the early 90s.)

MY HUSBAND EDGAH!

Well, you know...suicide is painless 🎶🎵

R117 = You sound wonderful.....A shame you find AIDS patients so beneath you.

Yes, my goldfish committed suicide. He jumped out of his bowl and suffocated. He'd rather kill himself than live with me.

I'm really surprised he didn't just divorce his wife instead of killing himself, FabulousMissLucy / R90.

The 17 year old in my neighborhood we've known since she was a child threw herself in front of the Amtrak train a couple years ago.

Only before they did it. We lost contact afterward.

^damn you beat me to it!

R91, my pets were literal life savers during my dark days.

R123. You are required to sleep with someone regardless of the risk they pose to you?

I've known several. A friend of my older brother shot himself (possibly high at the time) around age 22.

I had a very close friend who lived in my same apartment building when I lived in NYC in the mid 1980s. He asked me to pick him up some food on the way home from work one day, (I was later getting home that day than usual, which seemed to make him a little frantic - this was long before cell phones)- which I did. I brought his food to him and we talked and gossiped a bit, and then I left. He committed suicide that night - taking pills. . His co-worker, a nurse, found his body at 7 am and called me immediately, and I rushed upstairs to find his cold body. I was bereft. Unbeknownst to me, he had just been diagnosed with PCP (AIDS-related pneumonia) and knew that there was really no medical intervention that could save him in the long term. Still, I was wracked with guilt for many months afterwards. Was there anything I could have said or done to prevent it? Could I have convinced him that I would take care of him?

A friend from college, not a close friend, committed suicide about 20 years ago. She had landed a fantastic job as an editor at a big NYC magazine, a job she loved, and then the magazine folded and she was never able to get another steady job at that level. So she killed herself.

My mother (now 99) was haunted in the Great Depression when a neighbor, too proud to stand in bread lines for charity, killed his wife and then himself because they were starving. Her father, while not wealthy, was employed and had some money in the depression. He had provided this man (a carpenter by profession) with work on occasion, but didn't realize what was going on. He was also devastated.

I guess the common denominator is that people who survive always feel guilty, which is the sucky part of suicide. I wouldn't hesitate to do it if I had a painful terminal illness, or if I realized that dementia was already beginning to manifest itself in me. But I hope I'd have the presence of mind to leave a note telling people the reason why and begging them not to feel bad for not intervening.

I knew someone from work who did. He was a probation/parole officer and coached the local state college wrestling team on the side. I met him through my work in the court system and occasionally we would have lunch together. He told me once that his ambition was to become warden of the state's juvenile boys' prison. He eventually married and moved up in the ranks of the Department of Corrections. He became the security director of an adult male prison, then one of the three members of the state's Parole Board.

I had totally lost touch with him and ran into one of his former probation/parole co-workers while grocery shopping. We chatted and I asked what he was doing these days. She said that he had committed suicide some years previously. Apparently he was mentoring teenage boys, something similar to Big Brothers, and would bring them to the great outdoors, swimming, etc. and started getting sexual with them. It was reported and being investigated when he drove to a nearby state, hiked with a gun into a forest preserve, sat under a tree, and blew his head off.

I'm sure the prospect of having being housed with the many prisoners he had denied parole was the incentive to kill himself, not to mention his secret being revealed to the world.

Oddly enough, every single person I know who has committed suicide has been a white man. Meanwhile, the few people I know who’ve attempted suicide are all women. I guess it’s because one group prefers more lethal methods (guns, hanging) and the other usually opts for pills.

I made a half-assed attempt at committing suicide when I was 14 (I took several Excedrin with some wine that was in the fridge). Nothing happened at all, and even though life has had its ups and downs, I’m so glad to still be alive.

I've known two people who committed suicide. One was a Japanese middle aged lady who worked in one of our branch offices. Apparently her husband had been abusing her for years and one day she decided she'd had enough and hung herself in a bedroom closet for him to find when he got home from work.

The other was a young woman who worked in my own office. She'd been having some emotional difficulties for quite a while and we had tried our best to get her help, but she refused. She quit one day out of the blue and about a month later her husband called and told one of her co-workers that she had committed suicide the day before. He came home from work and found her sitting on the floor with a gun in her hand. She looked up at him and said "this is all your fault" and shot herself in the head.

^^having to be housed^^

It’s notable that a lot of these stories that don’t involve underlying medical issues like depression involve the person who died feeling shame and not wanting to lose face. I wonder if some people have inherently more tolerance for that feeling, or something.

A former school classmate committed suicide in his mid 30s. He was a drifter after spending some time in jail. A few months later, I came across a post on a forum where people try to find their long-lost relatives. A teenaged girl was looking for him because she had recently been told by her mother that this man was her bio father. I wonder if he knew that this daughter existed. If so, maybe he felt guilt about not being in her life.

Another former schoolmate married his wife after they got knocked up in high school, and they had two more kids. One day, several years later in their early 30s, she found a note from him, where he said that he had gone to commit suicide, and that by the time she found the note, it would be too late to stop him. The police found his car in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant, and he was dead from a gunshot wound. They seemed perfectly happy. When this man was a kid, his parents divorced, and his father had very little to do with him, even though he lived very close by.

A neighbor's son (20s) committed suicide after years of medical problems. As a small child, he'd been run over by a car, and suffered injury to his spine and pelvis. He had undergone multiple, painful surgeries in his life, but they couldn't correct all the problems. He became addicted to post-surgery pain medication, and struggled with addiction for the rest of his life. In his teen years, doctors amputated his penis, which they had tried to save before. He still had to continue to use a catheter, though, even after the surgery. In his early 20s, he told his parents he was gay. They didn't believe him; they assumed he was compensating for the amputation (even though homosexuality runs in the family, and he had several effeminate mannerisms). His parents weren't supportive about his being gay; his mother is a religious freak who can't say three sentences without mentioning Jesus. After all that, he couldn't take any more.

R137, Being gay without a penis would be horrible

[quote] It’s notable that a lot of these stories that don’t involve underlying medical issues like depression involve the person who died feeling shame and not wanting to lose face.

I still believe that's just a different type of depression

[quote] He told me once that his ambition was to become warden of the state's juvenile boys' prison.

Did you see this as a possible red flag at the time, R132?

[quote] I knew someone who survived a suicide attempt when he was 10.... They don’t perceive the seriousness and permanence of what they’re doing in the same way.

I tried to commit suicide as a child. Ten (10) is old enough to consider that suicide / death is permanent. (You WANT it to be permanent.) I sometimes wish I had been successful back then. Getting older, you realize that you will wreck other people's lives, though, if you commit suicide.

I agree with the poster that said this thread is both riveting & depressing; it's so terrible when really young kids commit suicide. I don't know if it's becoming more prevalent, or people are just being more honest about what happened. When I was a kid, another kid died in a dubious accident that now that I think about it, was likely a suicide. Adults couldn't conceive that kids would kill themselves.

The point a poster made about the disconnect people have is so true; I remember when COVID started, the fear that many people on DL had about being sick & no one to check in on them.

My grandmother. She had been depressed for a long time, and those were the days when no one spoke of depression.

I believe she had a psychotic break, based on the details of her suicide.

And I had the typical reaction of "could I have done something?' And I believe I could have, and should have.

Maybe it runs in families - depression - I've been on anti-depressants for 30 years. All my psycho-pharmacologists light up when I tell them my grandmother committed suicide.

[quote] And I had the typical reaction of "could I have done something?' And I believe I could have, and should have.

R143, how old were you when your grandmother died? What do you think you could have done?

i did.

When I was in 9th grade, the office phone that was in the classroom buzzed during class, and the teacher said one of the girls in my class needed to go to the office. This was a quiet, straight A kid who was never in any trouble. She got up and the teacher told her to take her things, and I witnessed a look between them and knew it was bad. Our classroom was two doors down from the principal/guidance office and we heard her shrieking. Her father killed her mother and then himself while the kids were at school. She never came back to school and I never saw her again.

When I was in 11th grade, my friend's dad shot himself in a parked car in a deserted parking lot. My friend had to finish high school early and start college to maximize the social security benefits that were payable until he turned 18. Never really saw him much after that.

A guy I worked with killed himself. I didn't know him well, but he was friendly and seemed smart. You'd never know it on the surface that he battled severe depression and mental illness. His mother, and her mother before that, all committed suicide. They're a well-known Southern family, almost with a Southern Gothic history. He escaped to NYC but the demons got him anyway.

My friend's brother disappeared. His body was found in the woods about 2 hours away from his house months after he disappeared. No sign of a car or that he was staying anywhere, but he was found with a gun and it was deemed suicide. I'm not so sure about that.

In 2020, about three months into lockdown, my cousin's husband drove his car into a building. He tried to stage it as an accident but it was still ruled a suicide and his life insurance didn't pay out to his young children. Really tragic. He probably needed in-patient therapy but everyone was dying of COVID so other things went untreated.

My father killed himself...Two cousins and a friend in high school....And a friend while I was in college....And my husband's mother killed herself....

Stay away from r147! 💀

R35: I'm Italian-American and I can tell you when my paternal grandfather died we all thought for sure my grandmother was going to ask to be buried with him. But she pulled through she died Christmas Day of 2005. Now grandad - he died a year after my uncle died.

But no suicides I've ever heard of.

[quote] I made a half-assed attempt at committing suicide when I was 14 (I took several Excedrin with some wine that was in the fridge). Nothing happened at all, and even though life has had its ups and downs, I’m so glad to still be alive.

In most cases suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

My friend Barb is always looking for the cheapest hairstylist in the area. So far two have committed suicide after doing Barb’s hair.

My ex jumped in front of a train. It was terrible.

A childhood friend did the same.

My cousin hung himself in Denver two years ago. Off and on drugs for years. His mother was a first class cunt who emotionally abused him and his older adopted brother. She joined the Jehovah’s Witness where she met her second husband. She also allowed her second husband to abuse them. Basically turned her sons against their father, my uncle.

He was living with a white couple in Denver, good Christian people who had long term sobriety. But he kept stealing from them and they understandably threw him out. He couch surfed for a while. Then he got a job washing dishes at a restaurant and was living in a boarding house. He told my uncle that he was finally happy and was coming to visit him when pandemic travel restrictions lightened up. One day after his shift, he walked out to the alley behind the restaurant and cut his throat. No one could even go to the funeral in South Carolina. It had to be streamed. My poor uncle was broken up but his second wife is a classy supportive woman and has helped him through this. He didn’t have any relationship with his sons because of his first wife. She died of breast cancer fifteen years ago. No one from my side of the family shed any tears. But my poor cousin gave up. He had also been thrown out of his wife’s house by her grown children because of his boozing and drugging. He was at the end of his rope. At first my uncle suspected foul play. But the cops said that there was no evidence of such. He was only forty five years old. The oldest son has totally disconnected from his family. So my uncle has his stepchildren and their kids. Suicide hurts the people left behind.

Is it hung or hanged? Oh dear-ing myself

R137 OMG I don't doubt the veracity. AND for that you win the Debbie Downer award of the thread!

Bet you know the Murdaughs or your cousin did!

R138, it would be horrible for a straight man, too.

A cousin -- Seemed to have the perfect life, was the child of my father's brother who married into a rich (oil money) family. She was very talented, on a scholarship to a fancy university. Killed herself when she was 20. I was in high school when she killed herself. I've always been a bit haunted by someone who seemed to have "everything," killing themselves. It really did a number on me during my low-self esteem high school years.

R144

I was 21. Just out of college. I could have moved in with my grandparents and not only 'kept an eye on her', but reached her, and balanced my grandfather's indifference.

It's a longer story but...

R158, like Kurt Cobain. He had his dream job, was critically acclaimed and was respected by millions of fans around the world. He was also rich, handsome, and had a wife and kid. He had everything.

Some people's brain chemistry is just prone to depression, and they can't see the good in their life and in the world. It's like they're wearing stuck wearing dark sunglasses that filters out the brightness in life.

Don't under-estimate the role that a cocaine, meth or alcohol crash plays in suicide. It is like instant profound depression for a few days.

R160, Kurt Cobain was "handsome"???! LMAO!!!!

The brother of a friend of mine. Supposedly he was in a very unhappy marriage and his wife was very controlling. A few months after he died, the widow was in another relationship and remarried quickly. I still don’t understand why he didn’t just leave her. Very hard to understand.

Hanged, not hung.

R160 Of course, as an adult I understand that. As a 15 year old it just shocked the hell out of me. She was the golden child out of all the "cousins" on my father's side of the family. No one could live up to her!

Hello R162. I'm 90s Zeitgeist. Kurt was one of my biggest projects. A grungy sex symbol. Nice of you to completely ignore my work.

No, R140. He was still a young-ish guy himself, not that long out of college, and as I said, coached a college wrestling team. This was in about the late 80s and he was a kind of cocky, baseball-cap wearing type who drove a Camaro. Did not ping at all. I thought it a little odd when he told me he liked his fiancee a lot, that she was a nice girl. It sounded kind of tepid for a guy supposedly in love.

What did I know.

My neighbor. She was in and out of mental hospitals but refused to take her bipolar medication and the state wouldn't keep her. She overdosed alone in her house when her roommate was gone at the beginning of the pandemic. It still shakes me.

Aw, poor R162. He needs glasses if he doesn't think Cobain was handsome, especially in the linked video.

The brother of an acquaintance of mine just posted on social media that he committed suicide last weekend. I was shocked, he didn't seem like the sort at all. RIP.

[quote]I realized later he was lost

What do you mean, "he was lost," R114?

Cobain was cute but not handsome.

Now we're splitting hairs, R172. That's just your opinion.

My best friend's husband. He had ALS. Eventually he became bedridden, and ended up with voluntary muscular control of only his left hand. He secreted a plastic bag and put it over his head during the night. My friend found him the next morning. It was a mixed blessing, but horrendous nonetheless.

R173 Like anyone gives a fuck what some 70 year old fat ugly DL troll thinks. Good queef.

My 85 year old Dad had a stroke. He couldn't speak properly after. He would try to talk, and gibberish would come out. He refused to eat and starved himself to death. He would also pull all of his tubes out. He was independent up until then.

R158 Richard Cory BY ARLINGTON ROBINSON Whenever Richard Cory went down town, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed, And he was always human when he talked; But still he fluttered pulses when he said, "Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king— And admirably schooled in every grace: In fine, we thought that he was everything To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light, And went without the meat, and cursed the bread; And Richard Cory, one calm summer night, Went home and put a bullet through his head.

Well some fat old unfucked queen thinks Cobain wasn't the sensitive grungy pixie boy de jour.

Hi Sanjay / R175.

I think my pal's family feels...guilty...isn't the right word but they know we loved the guy so very much and that we're hurting too.

But their hurt will always be great; and maybe they feel guilty about that too.

I've left my pal's son my life insurance policy through my work; it's not much, but it's going to go to him wth a note telling him how great his dad was and what a great pal he was to me. Right now, I can't see leaving it to neices or nephews whom I never hear from. Like...never. And I was always the guncle who sent them Halloween cards with five bucks in them.

[quote] Was there anything I could have said or done to prevent it?

Yes, I wonder about the moral responsibility of the friends someone who commits suicide.

I and 3 close friends were invited to an afternoon tea party organised by a semi-flaky, Lapsed Catholic friend/neighbor who had brain tumor removed who was recently diagnosed with Leukemia.

It just seemed just like another regular afternoon tea party. We noticed an air compressor sitting on his bathroom floor but he didn't inform us he would be using it to commit suicide four days later.

"And I was always the guncle who sent them Halloween cards with five bucks in them."

They were expecting $20 not a five, R180. They're right to ignore you.

I sold appliances during college. A fellow sales rep's ex husband hung himself. This had to be in 1999 or so...

I met him once, a few years before....

1. Father (booze) — slow suicide due to alcoholism.

2. Co-worker (train)— male PE teacher, threw himself onto the tracks, was cut in half. District was trying to oust him which was difficult with a strong union.

3. Co-worker (hanging) — male computer teacher. He was accused of molesting one of my students. I didn’t believe it at first, but about two weeks later I talked to a friend we shared, and she told me that he left a full confession in his note. That’s when I knew it was true. I never went back.

4. Co-worker (train) — female 29 year old, working for a tech company in Chicago, she was headed to the red line, but went into the subway and instead threw herself in front of the train.

5. Friends (drugs/alcohol/mental illness/trauma). These are mostly male, mostly younger but not all.

R181 Knowing better than to ask, I'm nevertheless wondering how exactly one commits suicide with an air compressor. I mean I can picture a few grisly scenarios but is there a preferred method?

An artist friend of mine who became a big deal as an artist and writer in New York. When I knew him he was this sweet, goofy, lovely guy. Over the years when he became important - I still wonder where sweet Paul went. I worked at the time for a small city in Southern California, and was perusing the NY Times before I went to make a presentation to city council and saw an obit which I couldn't quite grasp. My sweet dear Paul had committed suicide in Berlin. It was quite a big obit. I thought I was hallucinating. Went before city council in a stupor. Called mutual friends to see if it was true and when they started crying I realize it was true. Called another friend, we were kind of the three musketeers . She hadn't heard yet and lost it. Called another friend and she told me that he'd met this woman who got him hooked on heroin, followed her to Berlin, and hung himself. 25 years later I still can't reconcile the gentle goofy soul I loved with the art world darling he became. Fuck. Now I' m starting to cry.

Name please.

Paul Dickerson. Sweetest guy I've ever met. Don't know what happened.

Thanks. Sad story. He was installed in Williamsburg in the mid 90s, as were some of my artist friends and one bf. I always thought that scene in that neighborhood had a dark and desperate vibe. And it was COLD! Heroin would have made it even grimmer.

You made me remember Dash Snow, that annoying de Menil artboy who crashed and burned in the oughts.

Yes, a patient of mine killed himself 3 months ago. He was such a great guy, and he and his partner (editor for Conde Naste) seemed to have a great life. He saw me the day before he killed himself and he talked about going back to work, he had forms for me to fill out...acted like everything was ok, I was so heartbroken, I closed down my practice.

First of all, shit r190. I can't think of anything wise to say (because I am an idiot) but that just sucks. You know, sometimes it's good to share with Datalounge. There can be posts of comfort but the ones that have gotten me through tough times when I've posted are the evil ones,. People are pretty funny and clever. ( fuck, now I'm in for it). With my friend Paul, we hadn't talked much before he died. I'd moved to Seattle and then to Palm Springs. But one thing more and then I will start a podcast or blog. I met Paul at Oxbow, the Chicago Art Institutes summer school of painting in Saugatuck, MI. I had to be juried in, thinking I'd be teaching. No I was a dishwasher with Paul and our friend Flo. We had aprons saying "dishbusters!" It was 1984 and the Ghostbusters movie came out. We washed dishes, swam all day and then painted all night. Heaven. And when I call Paul a goofball it's not a dis. I can't think of a better word for someone who was so free and joyous and simple in a good way. This thread is bring me back to that time (I was going to write Halcyon but that's just pretentious and pushing it). I lived with Paul and Flo in a former dentists office in Milwaukee after Oxbow, before he moved to New York. Ok, I'll stop now. But this thread has stirred me up and I'm starting to cry again. But they're good memories.

R191- Your friend lives on. I loved seeing this link and learning about someone I had never heard of.

That's what life is all about.

We learn as we go. And I am positive that your friend in another lifetime learning and growing.

There is no death.

But the NYT is behind a paywall, R189.

OP,

Possibly one.

I knew someone from high school who killed himself by jumping off the Royal Gorge bridge. You have to be serious to go that route.

I have been depressed but I can't imagine seeing suicide as the right answer. I can understand the people with terminal prognoses and people who are completely broke and homeless, etc., but for people who are sad with their lives or jobs or getting bullied at school, etc., I don't get it. If you are willing to kill yourself, you have no limitations on other drastic solutions. Quit the job. Leave the family behind. Refuse to go to school. You can do ANYTHING. Do anything else first. What do you have to lose?

Yes, and I’m glad. I stopped them from committing suicide multiple times and dealt with his crazy for years.

When he finally did it I was upset at first, but then I felt relief as I never had to worry about his borderline personality disorder ass causing me more grief. I also didn’t have to worry about stalking or violence.

R182, lol; that's funny.

But ...they're like close to 30 now...so... $5 was a lot back in the day. In fact, one told me that their other aunts and uncles never send them anything.

I'm surprised the stories in this thread involve mostly teenagers and young adults. I was expecting more stories about people in their 40s/middle-age. Maybe it's perception but I know a lot of people who could not deal with age/losing their looks, loneliness or had financial troubles and killed themselves in their 40s. Also surprising that so many shot themselves, jumped of a building or bridge or hanged themselves. I would definitely try to find a non-violent way to end my life (pills, insulin or stealing some Nembutal (?) from a vet).

My grandfather (that I never met) who couldn’t cope with the loss of his son, my father (who I also never met).

R158 wrote:

[quote]I would definitely try to find a non-violent way to end my life (pills, insulin or stealing some Nembutal (?) from a vet.

Yes, but as someone said upthread, unless you really know what you're doing, there's a greater chance the pills will knock you out but not kill you. If you jump in front of a fast moving train, the chances of surviving are pretty slim.

R198, me too. According to statistics, the suicide rate increases with age. In your 20s and 30s, you might have rough times, but at least there's still time to turn your life around. Once you hit your 40s, you're kind of locked into your job field. Even if you have a major professional embarrassment, it's hard to start over in a new field at that age. Also, your parents may have died, or they are deteriorating. If you have kids, then they could be difficult teenagers or young adults who ignore/disrespect/hate you (even if you did nothing wrong).

The most important thing I've found is that it's good to have hobbies that you enjoy, playing an instrument, drawing, reading. That way, you will cherish alone time and use it constructively rather than ruminating depressive thoughts.

When it's happened in your life you eventually gain perspective on it (after a lot of years), they were very unwell.

They didn't do it to hurt anyone, which is probably harder to accept than blaming them for your grief.

R200 but jumping in front of a train affects many people, some quite profoundly, from the conductor who couldn’t stop in time and will never be able to get the image out of his head, to the police and crew who have to clean up the mess, not to mention all the passengers and witnesses. It’s really a shitty thing to do.

That she committed suicide has always been my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

My brother killed himself by shooting himself in the head. He was 45. I was shocked but not surprised. Our childhoods were hell. He was really damaged by it; although an intelligent guy who was capable of many things he refused to work to support himself and always depended on his mother to provide for him financially. We were both groomed to be dependent when we were children, but I got the hell away from my relatives while he formed an unhealthy, unnaturally close relationship with his mother. A mama's boy. It made him weak. He would never consider seeing a therapist or getting professional help although I'm pretty sure he was suffering from depression. He finally chose to end it. A shame. Everybody liked him. But he absolutely would not help himself.

R205, had his mother passed away when it happened? Or was she still alive?

My mother OD'ed on opioids if that counts. Don't know if it was voluntary. I'm from Nebraska and she was a morbidly obese, frumpy, dumpy, Midwestern hausfrau. She put on a lot of weight in later life. My daddy was a mean, abusive drunk, who beat her severely. I once remember he smacked her upside the head with an empty bottle of Jack and she grunted, shit herself, and went out cold on the ground. He just left her there, and us kids had to help clean her up. I left home at 16 so I heard she died sad and lonely and alone (my daddy basically abandoned her) from one of my sisters.

I had five friends who killed themselves in their 20s. Two jumped off bridges, one jumped off a building, two shot themselves. My friend's mother hung herself.

r208, I guess that makes you the life of the party.

There are several Penelopes on this thread.

True, R203. If I ever wanted to commit suicide, I'd rather do it with medications / drugs but I assume the ones that can kill you are not easy to get and I don't know which ones work for sure and at what doses.

[quote] had his mother passed away when it happened? Or was she still alive?

She was still alive when he killed himself. She was devastated by his death. He was her favorite. Although she lived with a man, she considered him her built in lifetime companion who would always be there for her if she ever needed a task or errand done for her. After his death she wanted me to take his place as her built in lifetime companion. But no way would I do that. She's on her own, now.

R205/R212, I'm sorry that you and your brother went through that. Your mother is an extremely selfish person, trying to sabotage her children's life so that she wouldn't be alone.

My mother is like that , but to a lesser degree. She had kids because she was terrified of this world, she had horrible self esteem, and she wanted someone to take care of her (and not just in old age).

It seems everyone knows of someone who has committed suicide. There is always that one person in a group or related to you or someone you know who has taken their own life. And the more I think about it, in regards to my own life, there isn't that person. The worse part is realizing that I am most likely going to be that person.

Some might recall an incident in LA in the 80’s:

A Japanese mother walked into the Pacific with her 2 small children. She survived thanks to fast thinking observers but t the children drowned.

She was the wife of a close friend. In Japan her actions would have been viewed differently Since she was distraught over her husband’s cheating and was saving face..

She was charged with murder. Her husband fell apart with guilt. Altogether a terrible situation.

My former partner and the only man I have ever been in love with. He had battled depression for years and then one day decided he'd had enough.

I think about him every day and still miss him.

Yes. My best friend’s mother, the day after high school graduation.

A lawyer I used to work with, about 55.

Both shot themselves with shotguns.

I will probably think of others.

A couple of boys from my teenage years. I can still vaguely remember them, one was a much greater shock as he was the confident, sporty type. The other was a goth with a dark side.

Later, a few years pre internet, I was absolutely shocked to read an obit for a writer I knew in a magazine. I was living in another country and had just bought the expensive, imported magazine and was reading before teaching a class and really struggled to get through it. A few days later, I actually called the magazine to speak to someone about it and that’s when I discovered he’d committed suicide. Tragic and I still don’t know why.

Anyone who is thinking of having children should read this. These stories could be their stories.

And yes, even on Datalounge, there are breeders - straight, guy and 'queer'.

R219. Good point. The fact that you want to create a new life doesn’t necessarily mean the child will enjoy or value that life.

There was a YouTube video that was a compilation of movie suicides. Very moving; very dark.

[quote] The fact that you want to create a new life doesn’t necessarily mean the child will enjoy or value that life.

True. Also, the attitude of "you're on your own!" at 18 is bizarre to me. No, I wouldn't want an unemployed 40-y-o leeching off of me, but geez.

My cousin committed suicide when she was in her late teens. I was in fifth grade and she had graduated from high school. In retrospect, I, and my other cousins who were her age peers and very close to her, are now pretty sure she was a closeted lesbian. She was a terrific athlete and was a star at her school in softball, field hockey and cross-country running. Her family was a mess. Her father was a weird control freak, her mother, my father's sister, was bipolar and self-medicated with alcohol. Her sister, whom her father favored, was pretty viciously mean to her. My bipolar aunt was constantly drunk and out of it to be of any help. By the time she was a teen, she basically lived with my other aunt (also my father's sister) and her cousins who were right around her same age.

She got heavily into drugs to cope. It broke my other cousins' hearts to see her go down that road. She finally hit rock bottom and agreed to go to the state mental health hospital. She was there I think 90 days. This was before insurance companies forced you out after a shorter duration. When she came home from the hospital, which was basically rehab, she was back in the same negative environment.

I think she felt hopeless. I also think she was struggling with her sexuality. She was always really nice to my brother but kind of mean to me. As an adult, my cousins and I agree she probably saw the gay in me (gay man) and it made her think about herself, so she was mean to me in response. Not long after she got out of the hospital, she got ahold of some sleeping pills and overdosed. I remember going to her funeral and seeing her lifeless body. Such a waste of a life. I truly feel for people who get so low that they take their own lives. Very sad.

[Quote]True. Also, the attitude of "you're on your own!" at 18 is bizarre to me. No, I wouldn't want an unemployed 40-y-o leeching off of me, but geez.

I was basically still a child at 18 and still needed my parents' support until I was in my early 30s. Not necessarily financial support, but it's just so comforting that you can always go home and your parents are always there to support you - both financially (if you need it) and emotionally. I'm in my 40s now and both my parents are close to 80. It will be devastating when they're gone and you're truly on your own and all alone.

My aunt and uncle had a foster child and the girl also had to move out on her 18th birthday. They still supported her, but she was basically on her own and they eventually lost contact. Horrible for kids not to have this support, love and safety net of a loving family.

[quote] His parents had no idea he was being bullied so much. The school never notified them

Now there’s a fucking surprise. Schools are only interested in their legal obligations and liabilities.

I remember watching a 2 hour documentary on suicides at Golden Gate Bridge a few years ago. They showed cctv footage of the people who jumped pacing up and down obviously daring themselves to go ahead with it, they didn’t show the actual jumping. They also interviewed two people who survived the jumps which is very rare. It was so sad to watch.

Did anybody else watch this programme?

There were 5 or 6 guys that killed themselves while I was in high school. Friends of friends. Not anyone I ever hung out with but we knew eachother.

That is one explanation of certain events