Thanks so much R49. Lots of useful information in your post.
R54, your post actually made me laugh out loud. You have my sense of humor.
[quote] I might have missed this somewhere above but OP have you actually asked your sister about any of this?
You're right about that. I left that part out, because it's slightly complicated.
If I had to comment on my personal qualities, I'd say I'm in between the two sides of my siblings. I am not on drugs, and I have had a steady government job for over 15 years. However, I am bad with personal finances, and my dad was completely aware of this.
So in my 100% honest opinion, he left the right person in charge of his affairs. I never had an issue with that.
All I have ever stated throughout this thread, is that my mom had made it clear she wanted distribution of their marital assets to be fair and equal among the kids.
If my dad did change the terms of the trust and gave it all to my sister, then of course I'll be pissed. It just seems like they're dishonoring my mom and her wishes, PARTICULARLY because before she died, we all sat down together, and the Trust was agreed upon by everyone.
It's just dirty for my dad and my sister to have changed everything, after my mom died.
But it is what it is, and I'm starting to think that I've already been cut out.
[quote] What is the status of the house? Did Dad transfer it to joint ownership with right of survivorship with your sister? Whose name is it in? Is is occupied, rented, sold? Are the taxes paid? Can you drive by and see what's going on with it?
It's in great condition. My dad lived in it before he died. I don't know who owns it at this point, because I don't know if he left it to her outright, or if it's still in a Trust for all of us, which she won't talk about. It was in my dad's name (I guess) after my mom died. It's not occupied, but the taxes were paid up to the point when he died. I don't know if taxes are being paid now, but I'm hoping she's using the money that she got from him to pay for it.
[quote] Were you in communication with your father and sister towards the end of his life? Did you have a cordial relationship with them, especially with your father? The silence in your family is very very weird.
Yes. I have/had a great relationship with both of them.
We would go on family trips together (just us, not the other siblings). I'm the youngest of the five, so she always looked after me. We would have great times together.
Which is kind of why I feel so screwed over right now.
But no, I haven't asked her about the Trust or a possible will, or anything. I really don't think I should have to. If she was made the head trustee or manager or whatever the hell it is, then she should be telling us what's going on.
What's weird, is that she is acting as though he never died.
She still texts me photos of food that she's cooking, or sends me pictures from things she and her husband are doing, or asking me if I want to go do something with her. It's bizarre and surreal, and I've gotten to the point where I've stopped talking to her because I feel so betrayed.
My sister is a bit of a ditz when it comes to reading social cues, so she doesn't quite get that I'm actually pissed at her.
I don't know. My family is weird.
But the bottom line here is that I feel that she should be the one communicating to the rest of the siblings, and not vice-versa.