Please select from 10 of the most attractive currently in the 26-man line-up, and show your work.
🍆 England Footballers 2020-1?
|by Anonymous||reply 48||a day ago|
Which ones are ginger? I'll have to know this before making my decision.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||07/14/2021|
R1 NWV you need to order off-menu, mate—our goalie Jordan Pickford will be right up your alley. So long as you’re prepared to fight John Stones for him.
He’s not included in the poll because as much as he’s a sexy legend and so good in goal he could save the planet, frankly he has some hard to overlook Shrek vibes.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||07/14/2021|
If it helps, as far as we can tell Dier, Shaw & Mount are the most likely of those listed to be gay, or at least have bi or heteroflexible tendencies.
But of course, fantasy knows no such bounds!
|by Anonymous||reply 3||07/14/2021|
Jack isn’t winning this nut poll, and that’s so hilarious to me.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||07/15/2021|
Hot English sausage...any takers?
|by Anonymous||reply 5||07/15/2021|
Dier, Stones, Philips & Mount lead.
So it’s between a cub, an otter, a hunk and a twink. Good cross-section🧐
|by Anonymous||reply 6||07/15/2021|
Pickford and Sterling.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||07/15/2021|
R7 are you having them together or separately?😋
|by Anonymous||reply 8||07/15/2021|
Hendo, Jack & Mason are most popular atm. That would be an interesting threeway...
|by Anonymous||reply 9||07/15/2021|
Matty Cash of Aston Villa. Those legs
|by Anonymous||reply 10||07/15/2021|
R10 Matty’s legs better than mine? Behave.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||07/15/2021|
Shaw chest for the group..
|by Anonymous||reply 12||07/15/2021|
Henderson, who is handsome and def. bf material and Jack, who looks slutty and delicious
|by Anonymous||reply 13||07/15/2021|
Hendo is such a dominant Daddy, and he definitely keeps that team in line with physical discipline.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||07/15/2021|
R14 Don’t tease me, I’ll get horny and hard. He can dominate me to whatever positions he wants.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||07/15/2021|
R13 but this is such a fascinating topic! So much to ponder, what goes on in dark corners of St. George’s Park away from cameras...
Like do you reckon Jack plays up in training on purpose so Hendo punishes him? IMO Grealish seems exactly the type of slut to tease and cause trouble and get lippy, because he’s desperate for attention and someone to put him in his place.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||07/15/2021|
So far no love for Barkley, Calvert-Lewis & Mings?
|by Anonymous||reply 17||07/15/2021|
“Mount? Take me about four shots. He’s not really my type, usually...err, but he’s a footballer, so I guess he is”
|by Anonymous||reply 18||07/16/2021|
Jack’s low intellect and lack of standards put me off, but in a recent press interview he called out that pointless bigoted bastard Roy Keane and told the old bastard where he could get off with his clueless comments & punditry, so for that sexy bit of heroism he gets my vote.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||07/16/2021|
Almost a quarter think Mason is the hottest? You all have a bland twink fetish confirmed.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||07/16/2021|
“Harry Kane—if you’re ever lacking muff, my legs—uh, DMs are open.”
|by Anonymous||reply 21||07/16/2021|
Why is Harry Kane not on the list?
|by Anonymous||reply 22||07/16/2021|
R22 the poll only allows space for 10 choices, so much like picking an England starting XI difficult decisions had to be made.
H is entirely too tall to do much with and looks like a giraffe, plus he’s happily married to his childhood sweetheart so it didn’t feel right dragging him into all this sin.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||07/16/2021|
Also I left off Phil Foden, because...well, no offence, but it’s Phil Foden.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||07/16/2021|
I’m not familiar with, nor do I give a rats ass about any of them, but I voted for Mason Mount because I like alliteration.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||07/16/2021|
I like Dominic Calvert Lewin and his bromance with Tom Davies. They make such an odd couple of mates.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||07/16/2021|
Who is that scary bitch in that photo, OP, the one with the furry wrists and claws for hands?
|by Anonymous||reply 27||07/16/2021|
R27 that’s the Millennial English actress Juno Temple, in-character as the chavvy WAG named ‘Keeley’ in the popular football sitcom TED LASSO (with Jason Sudeikis).
It’s a funny show, quite heartwarming as well as occasionally incisive about the football industry.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||07/17/2021|
R26 in his personal life, Tom Davies is one of the only genuinely stylish and cool and uniquely interesting footballers there is. He isn’t a predictable chav like the rest.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||07/17/2021|
I like Tom Davies as well. He's not a typical footballer, a genuine character.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||07/17/2021|
Party in Mykonos for the lads!
Wonder if they’ll bump into LiLo out there?
|by Anonymous||reply 31||07/17/2021|
The squad strongly suspect that their skipper Kane has a plan to force his rumoured Premier League transfer (a la Bale) away from a reluctant Spurs (Nuno is adamant he’s not selling Harry this year), by skipping much of pre-season training when it starts in three weeks. Just leaving the team he’s meant to be leading in the lurch, while they’re on an all-time high at a critical juncture in time, all for the sake of his own career. Dickhead.
It’s fine by me, though, as I don’t like him in the role of national Captain, anyway—it doesn’t suit him, and he doesn’t have the presence or command the authority necessary to use it well. Hopefully this means another player will receive the armband, either on a temporary or permanent basis. Considering age and authority, almost certainly Hendo gets it, as long he stays with the team next year. Long live Captain Jordan!
|by Anonymous||reply 32||Last Sunday at 12:18 AM|
R31 Hilarious that, thanks to COVID restrictions, despite playing almost all the games at home these players spent at least 7 if not 10-12 weeks not being able to mix with their WAGs and kids and parents in public socially at all (except briefly in the stands after games), only then as soon as the Euros finished half of them instantly fucked off on a lads’ holiday together without a backward look at their families😂
Except Pickford & Foden who it seems took their wives & toddlers for a break abroad (awww). And Kane & Hendo who ofc responsibly stayed in England and went home to their families.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||Last Sunday at 1:04 AM|
Grealish is fit and not hard to look at in the face, but at the same time he looks like he'd wipe his dick on your bedroom curtains, and like he’s got several diseases that a blister-pack full of disprin can't cure.
Reportedly he doesn’t ever use condoms at all, so in about a year there’ll be a glut of baby Jacks toddling about, or he’ll have contracted and spread an alphabet soup of hepatitis.
Also, he doesn’t wash his hair often enough, or he’s using the wrong product. Even though his mane is shiny and there’s a lot of it, it’s always on the lank side.
If he cleaned up figuratively and literally then he’d be untouchably the sexist player in the Prem.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||Last Sunday at 8:56 AM|
Just looking at Hendo’s back makes me feel like the human equivalent of a bowl of pudding
|by Anonymous||reply 35||Last Sunday at 9:30 AM|
Stonesy has the prettiest face of them all.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||Last Sunday at 1:35 PM|
Luke Shaw completely forgetting that he has to see a family who he hasn’t seen for months and instead go on a jolly to Greece with the boys is such a closet case vibe I love it
|by Anonymous||reply 37||Last Sunday at 3:56 PM|
Right, that’s it, suddenly I’m all for lockdown again. Fully support it. Come the fuck home lads, and get the OnlyFans underway, cuz we’re running out of TikTok nut here...
|by Anonymous||reply 38||Last Tuesday at 10:56 AM|
Do soccer players shave their chests, and, if so, why? You almost never see a hairy-chested footballer (I can think of one in MLS). The laws of genetics being what they are, they can't ALL be naturally smooth.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||Last Tuesday at 11:14 AM|
R39 isn’t it something to do with aerodynamics?
Or everyone just copied Ronaldo’s look, and the trend stuck.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||Last Tuesday at 11:37 AM|
I understand why competitive swimmers shave their bodies -- less drag in the water -- but footballers wear shirts (often two of them), so that explanation doesn't hold, alas. I usually enjoy the view when players exchange jerseys after a match -- more of that with less shaving, please!
|by Anonymous||reply 41||Last Tuesday at 11:45 AM|
so far 2020-1 has been wild for england.
we have seen some *fergie voice* absolute scenes—hendo pinning kane to the pitch and straddling him, jack using his arse as a honeypot, stonesy wearing pickford’s gloves. the chilly/mason/declan triangle. and then gay luke shaw proving haters/mourinho wrong and scoring for the community.
i fucking loved this euros. and as much as i object to qatar ethically still cant wait to see what sexy nonsense the england world cup brings...
|by Anonymous||reply 42||Last Wednesday at 12:01 AM|
Gareth not recognising half his squad from old pictures of them as under-15s😟
Took him two attempts to get Hendo, and he had no idea who Jack was.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||Last Wednesday at 12:47 PM|
Dier said in an interview last year that once as a joke gift his mates got him a book on how to pick up women, because apparently as a hot rich fit pro footballer he’s still *that* hopeless at talking to girls.
Maybe the looks and the money have precluded him from finding a personality.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||Last Wednesday at 2:03 PM|
R39/R40 you probably don’t care anymore, but I asked a mate who used to be a semi-pro footballer about ten years ago, and he said that pro footballers are often asked to shave their bodies (or at least their legs), because it makes the jobs of physics/medics/trainers easier. If you have to treat or gel massage or oil up or freeze a certain body part, then it’s less hassle when you don’t have to contend with hair getting in the way or getting stuck and pulling. It’s also easier to assess wounds & damage such as cuts if the skin is clear of hair.
Another more traditional but weird reason is that in the old pre-1990s days of shitkicking Sunday League-style football, a player could taunt or provoke or distract another he was marking by yanking hairs on his legs or arms. This would tend to happen when corners were taken. Nasty practise, and it isn’t allowed or really possibly now.
The only players now who tend to keep it hairy are the nobody low-level players from Eastern European countries like Ukraine, or those who have religious exemptions from altering body hair such as Muslim players like Mo Salah.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||Last Thursday at 3:16 PM|
makes me crease that maguires first baby was born exactly 9 months after the World Cup penalty shoot out and the second being born 9 months after he signed for United 😭 Pickford and trippier also had babies around that time as well lmfao.
same energy as Henderson & Salah’s wives having their babies 9 months after they beat Barca 😂
|by Anonymous||reply 46||Last Thursday at 3:34 PM|
concept: eric and dele going to the wc final together, england win, and the boys kiss celebrating
|by Anonymous||reply 47||Yesterday at 2:05 AM|
Thanks, R45! I hadn't considered the necessity of shaving from the medic's/trainer's points of view. Much appreciated!
|by Anonymous||reply 48||a day ago|