Roxane Gay DOESN'T CARE if men read books by women! Not going to educate us anymore!

[quote]I must have missed the bit where all men were an homogenous group of “they” who all do the wrong thing. Last book I read was by Naomi Ishiguro and the current one is by Delia Owens. Both amazing!

I don't read books to be hectored or to be told what to think.

I read for literary value and/or entertainment value.

If you don't achieve one of those, I'm not interested in being "educated" by anyone.

Quite, R2. A bit too sensible for Dr Gay though.

[quote]You seem to be speaking of (wo)men here as if there’s an unbridgeable chasm between them. I’m not sure that’s true?

Lol deliberating misunderstanding something in order to feel aggrieved and bitch about it online is sooooooo weak lol

Hi Roxane at R5! 👋

Is it wrong that I never had a desire to be schooled by Roxane Gay?

Her heart is in the right place, but she just takes it constantly to a place of anger and grievance. With too many generalizations. No nuance with these types.

Agreed R8. And personally, what's worse than Roxane's takes are all the sycophants in her comments, the ones who unleash themselves on anyone who dares not to worship at the altar of Roxane.

R6 I don’t care particularly about Roxane but these types of threads are desperate. You can see plain as day what she means but these losers just wanna drag a black woman so they on purpose confuse the meaning in order to make a position, it’s so lame.

No interest in dragging a black woman here, R10. DL-fave Roxane Gay is just an unintentionally amusing person to me. What's getting tired is people bringing race into issues where it doesn't belong.

And I'm not sure you CAN see plain as day what she means. She says she doesn't care about the issue, then says that "men know what to do and are choosing not to". As others have said, there is no real right or wrong when it comes to what someone wants to read, people read for pleasure. So acting like there is a thing men "know" what to do, is weird.

Also, I'm a man and know many men and have never heard anyone say they don't read women authors.

^^ never not at it haha

Does she care if the men running the company that publish her books read the big fat contracts they give her?

I don't care that I don't care.

It is not my job to educate you on things that I don't care about!

It's well known that men generally won't read books by women.

The aggrieved Andrew B. was promptly directed to Roxane’s pinned tweet.

🙄

Now, I’m exhausted!

God that made me laugh so hard I choked, R14!

Anyone can say something is "well-known" R15, and not provide any backing, but that's not very impressive.

OMG, that Katie Barr person is exactly the insufferable type mentioned in R9. They never really explain themselves or back up an argument either.

Nothing’s ever her job, and she’s always exhausted.

President Obama begs to differ R15

People like Roxane argue in the same way that late teen, early 20s people often can, but their excuse is that they are at least working out their beliefs, developing and growing, and are not necessarily static. What's Roxane's excuse, when she's nearly 50?

"I've never thought "I don't like reading women authors". She must hang around some strange men."

You're gay. Trust me, most straight men don't read books by female authors. Honestly, most of them barely read anything. They don't usually listen to female singers or watch movies with female protagonists, either. That's wussy to them

After her first big book came out I thought she was going to be one of the major feminist public intellectuals in the United States, but she just couldn't sustain. She doesn't really have ideas, or even analysis to offer: all she has are complaints. And she can;t even carry out those that well; her signature phrase" "I'm too exhausted to..." signals her unwillingness even to explain why she's unhappy.

The NYTimes used to let her write guest editorials all the time, but she rarely does them anymore. I think they figured out she has nothing interesting to say.

R18 There have been numerous surveys on this subject. This has been accepted wisdom in publishing for decades.

[quote]You're gay. Trust me, most straight men don't read books by female authors. Honestly, most of them barely read anything. They don't usually listen to female singers or watch movies with female protagonists, either. That's wussy to them

This is such rubbish. I know plenty of straight men who happily watch female protagonists, and read about them, listen to female singers and read books by authors who are female.

It sounds like either people just want to be aggrieved, or they're living in a time warp. It's not 1950 anymore!

Jackie Susann, Jackie Collins, Shirley Conran, Judith Krantz.

Yep. I’ve read them all.

While she has one of the most annoying personalities I've ever encountered, many of you are being completely disingenuous. Boys won't read books or watch movies with female protagonists. That continues throughout their lives. Men do not read books or watch movies with female protagonists or by female authors or directors with very rare exceptions.

Breaking! Sexism is still alive and well.

^That is just not true, which you see when you actually hang out with real people, rather than just stay online wanting to feel aggrieved about everything, like Ms Gay.

[quote]She must hang around some strange men.

Does she hang around men much at all?

Why is she so goddam rude in all her interactions with people? I swear, someone could say to her: "That's a lovely shirt you're wearing, where did you buy it?", and she'd scream: "Google it! It's not my job to provide fashion advice for you!" and then all her little minions would come along, attacking that person. It's so weird.

R28, people have, literally, provided links above that show you are wrong. Go look at your bookshelves (real or virtual) and see for yourself. You might be surprised.

“Feminists wake up everyday and concoct horror stories about “men”. Been a man for 36 years and here you come with your revelation”.

That analysis in The Guardian doesn't actually prove anything, someone has made their own causal link between why that is without actually surveying the people and finding out their feelings on the subject. It's poor research. And if that is meant to be fact, it also says women do the same thing, so why is Roxane being so one-sided about it all?

People read what they enjoy, that's it at the end of the day.

Yes, I'd be curious to know how many books by men Roxane reads.

Also, I'd like to see statistics to back up this argument. I'm sure Stephen King readers don't read many books by women, but that's not exactly her audience, is it?

That cover-my-ass pinned tweet is the crowning touch. She is intensely irritating.

Good for her. Women, write your books and do not care if men do not care.

R34, yeah that pinned tweet is hilarious, because it's basically a "I don't want to have to justify my arguments" tweet, that people like Katie above think is so profound and the answer to any slight criticism. I wish someone had pointed that out to her when she posted it to Andrew.

Gosh, Roxane. I don't care that you don't care. I guess that makes us equal.

Katie Barr is not amused that Andrew B. has blocked her on Twitter.

“So funny how male fragility likes to show itself”

Roxane needs to read a diet book!

The newest podcast “What Exhausts Roxane’s Tired Titties”, coming to Apple on August 2nd.

Hey, Roxane. I'm a gay man and I read a lot of women writers, probably more women writers than men, not out of a desire to be politically correct or for some bullshit suburban New York Times-y wish to be "up on" the reading trend of the moment or to improve myself, but--I guess, not that I think about it all that much--because my sensibility aligns with women a bit more. And, boy, do I NOT need your approval for my choices.

[quote] Her heart is in the right place, but she just takes it constantly to a place of anger and grievance.

And coronary artery disease.

Roxane's theme song.

R30 That is the PERFECT way to describe her and folks like her! LOL! Like, you could generally agree with her or pay her a compliment, and I wouldn't be shocked that what you get back is defensiveness or rudeness.

Sis doesn’t need the male POV any longer.

Heaven forbid that she is given something to think about.

I am so sick of this woman and her rants.

I have a book she should read: The Atkins Diet.

Lose 200 lbs you fat slug and see if you don't feel better; maybe you'd be less of a cunt.

Roxane needs religion to fix what ails her. The Remnant Fellowship Church is always open to welcoming new members.

Roxane’s Twitter account has been hacked as evidenced by the positive, praising tweet.

Some of the responses under her pinned tweet show that not everyone on Twitter is a fan, apparently.

...

Now she's decided to take on Elon Musk, haha!

I love that pinned comment. She’s too ‘exhausted,’ apparently, for precise language, so she throws out broad generalizations.

Let’s see: this year I’ve reread Raisin in the Sun and To Kill a Mockingbird (both HIGHLY recommended if you haven’t gotten to them. I also read Circe and A Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, also highly, HIGHLY recommended. ASoA also has a significant gay romance, so yeah, this doesn’t apply to me either. A good book isn’t determined by the writer’s plumbing

[quote] People like Roxane argue in the same way that late teen, early 20s people often can, but their excuse is that they are at least working out their beliefs, developing and growing, and are not necessarily static. What's Roxane's excuse, when she's nearly 50?

She’s too ‘exhausted’ for self improvement?

[quote] Why is she so goddam rude in all her interactions with people?

She’s too ‘exhausted’ for courtesy?

R51 is funny, since Musk specifically says: ‘many people,’ meaning he’s a more precise writer than she is, but she’s too aggrieved (or exhausted) to notice.

Ugh. This is just no fun. When will it end?

[quote]I've never thought "I don't like reading women authors". She must hang around some strange men.

I got an English Literature degree, there were dozens of men in my classes who said they didn't like books written by women and wouldn't read them. One guy was almost kicked out of a Masters level class because he refused to read The Lamplighter for the first week of discussion. He finally gave in but complained about it for weeks.

r25 posting that his beliefs trump the actual statistics at r24 is PEAK Datalounge.

You’d be constantly exhausted too if you had my BMI.

Lol R56.

Clearly, she DOES care.

Musk may be into something…especially if the Earth becomes uninhabitable. And even if not, he’s an intelligent man who is curious and striving…what does she have against THAT?!

[quote] DL-fave Roxane Gay is just an unintentionally amusing person to me

Same here, R11!

She's like that annoying girl in school that you liked to tease.

For all the reasons cited by R30.

But still, she makes me laugh. Especially when she says she's "exhausted."

I don't doubt that she is literally exhausted. She seems very lazy. Both intellectually AND physically.

I've known straight male friends to state flat-out that they won't read female authors. So it's by no means across the board, but there is a contingent out there that has this bias. And I suspect that publishers use it to explain why women authors are paid less for their work: "Your sales are always going to be limited, because men don't read your stuff." Which would really get on my nerves if I were a female author.

Male fragility.

[quote] Male fragility.

Roxane is the one whinging about it. Not men.

Men can't be bothered with stupid shit like this.

But clearly, SHE is the one who's bothered.

...soooooooooo exhausting, so very very very exhausting.

I want to be friends with Roxane.

I have a feeling she would make me laugh.

But I also have a feeling that she hates men, so she wouldn't like me as much as I like her.

People must follow her just to contradict and ridicule her dumb ass.

You're exhausting, R65.

LOL, R62! Another example of male fragility. Guess you don't get what that means. This thread is full of it.

Poor R67.

You are EXHAUSTING.

R44, no joke, I once saw her complaining about some problems her dog was having, and some guy wrote back and very kindly offered her advice on what to do, as he was a veterinarian, and she snapped back something like: "Sigh. Do you think I don't know that?"

Like, first of all, shut up you ungrateful bitch, someone was trying to be nice and help you, and secondly, you're not a veterinarian, it's ok that you're not a veterinarian, and you're not expected to know everything.

But like a lot of academics, she's extremely brittle and sensitive about not knowing absolutely everything.

Please! Someone help me!

I'm at the breaking point!

HELP! HELLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!

OMG, Roxane's chair is one of my favourite posters on here. Hahahahaha!!

Roxane’s diabetes blotches on her face are exhausting!

Rofl R69!!!!

She's such a bitch!!!

Ugh.

...

I guarantee you that Roxane would be into men, if she wasn't 6 ft. 2 and 800 pounds.

She's just a lesbian by default.

Isn't Agatha Christie one of, if not the, most read authors of all time? And didn't JK Rowling spark a reading renaissance in young people.

Maybe it has nothing to do with the sex of the author, and more to do with the subjects authors write about?

LOL, I believe this is her reply back to the veterinarian who kindly tried to help, as referenced by R69.

What gets me is the follower ready to kiss her ass by chiming in,

“It never fails, every time I click on your tweets the first comment is always some unsolicited advice from some old white dude.” Note, this sycophant is a white dude too.

Phillip’s Twitter profile reads, “Beyoncé is my home girl but Kesha is my spirit animal”

🙄

Here’s the tweet the “old white dude” sent.

Roxane has no grace or basic manners, whatsoever.

[quote] Roxane has no grace or basic manners, whatsoever.

She's a lesbian.

What do you expect?

Roxane is up from her nap.

[quote] Roxane is up from her nap.

I'm guessing that most of her day consists of naps.

She's so exhausted!

Better than average chance she suffers from Epstein Barr, chronic fatigue syndrome or fibromyalgia.

You know, I’m an academic and white gay “cis” and support lefty and diversity issues, and I find her tiresome and self-important.

When I was a freshman in college in 1976, I took a course in Women in Literature (and was one of two men in a class of 46). I considered dropping the course, but the instructor pulled me aside and encouraged me to stay—I did and learned about such writers as Woolf, de Beauvoir, Chopin, and Lessing. I later wrote a dissertation on a leading modernist female poet (Marianne Moore). I publish on Flannery O’Connor.

Nor to virtue signal, but to say that I really enjoy writing by women (though not necessarily BECAUSE they are women—and even I find RG tiresome. Her earlier essays seemed like a potentially fresh voice (though hardly Toni Morrison), but it’s now stale, predictable, and cliched. She’s a bore and a scold. I’d rather read Jesmyn Ward and Samantha Irby.

[quote] I publish on Flannery O’Connor

I love Flannery O'Connor!

Southern women are the best writers.

They have so much heart and personality in their writing.

R83 Neither Flannery nor Elizabeth Bishop, two of the very best writers of the 20th century, wanted to be anthologized or categorized as "women writers." When you consider a story like O'Connor's "Revelation," the mastery of the prose style, you think far more of the concentrated labor that lay behind it than about her gender.

R78 honestly though - she didn’t ask for advice. That’s the thing shes taking issue with here. Men do love to drop their ‘superior knowledge’ into situations where it’s not asked of them. It’s assertive. Can’t you see that that dynamic is playing out in that situation? Even if you think her response is rude, you can understand that non?

[quote] Can’t you see that that dynamic is playing out in that situation? Even if you think her response is rude, you can understand that non?

All I can see is menopausal, raging BITCH!

[quote] Isn't Agatha Christie one of, if not the, most read authors of all time? And didn't JK Rowling spark a reading renaissance in young people.Maybe it has nothing to do with the sex of the author, and more to do with the subjects authors write about?

I assure you, if you brought it up, you’d be told they ‘don’t count!’

[quote] she didn’t ask for advice. That’s the thing shes taking issue with here. Men do love to drop their ‘superior knowledge’ into situations where it’s not asked of them. It’s assertive. Can’t you see that that dynamic is playing out in that situation? Even if you think her response is rude, you can understand that non?

He DOES have superior knowledge, being a vet and all.

She’s communicating on a public forum, not talking to her girlfriends at the cafe. Yes, men do often respond to reports of a problem by offering to fix it, but that’s not part of some evil conspiracy, just a difference in habits of mind.

She’s sending her thoughts out into the world, and it does absolutely no good to treat every respondent as an enemy. What sort of emotionally balanced person does that? She’s constantly hectoring others to ‘be better.’ She should start with herself.

R86, what did Roxane tweet then to get the vet to respond in that manner? Are you saying that no one else offered unsolicited advice?

That doesn’t sound like Twitter to me. Unless Roxane worshippers are trained not to speak unless Roxane allows them too.

[quote] All I can see is menopausal, raging BITCH!

Well that says more about you than anyone else tbh.

[quote] She’s communicating on a public forum, not talking to her girlfriends at the cafe.

Try not to generate your understanding of women through SATC.

[quote] just a difference in habits of mind.

Yes and she doesn’t like that habit, of men inserting themselves in conversations unrequested answering questions nobody asked of them. It’s really not that complicated.

Failed NYC mayoral candidate Dianne Morales is giving Roxane Gay a run for her money with this exchange with a White reporter who wrote a critical story about her.

Roxane’s Rules: do not speak until spoken to.

No clap back to this gal who offered unsolicited advice

[quote] Try not to generate your understanding of women through SATC.

Who the fuck brought up SATC? Are you seriously saying you can’t tell the difference between a private conversation and a PUBLIC forum?

[quote] she doesn’t like that habit, of men inserting themselves in conversations unrequested answering questions nobody asked of them.

Anyone who won’t take advice from a vet about a sick animal is a fucking idiot. Treating friendly advice as hostile shows her to have some serious issues.

I get it now: you’re one of her sycophants, aren’t you? See? I can also make unflattering assumptions about strangers.

Y'all are exhausting!

This Dr. with a PhD at end of her name dared ask a question.

No clap back

I like Stephen King books.

Hmmm, Eddie didn’t get scolded.

Under hard pressure

I bow and sway side to side

No reinforcements.

Damn R95. A warning would have been appreciated.

One year anniversary!

One more thing, r90: if she so fucking fragile that every exchange with a stranger in a public forum leads to this, then she is a seriously unsocialized person who needs to get off social media. Part of her problem is a legion of ass-kissers like you, who make every excuse for someone who doesn’t know how to treat other people.

R94 you need to take a chill pill no need for all the screaming and swearing. Oh and enjoy taking random advice from every pharmaceutical ad online that tells you to do something lol. You seem triggered.

[quote] One more thing, [R90]:

Aghhhhhh!

Don’t know if cannon’s advice helped the pup, but I recommend Roxy try some of these tips to lose some weight, starting with “limit feed times”.

She lost a significant amount of weight between R95 and R101's photos

King has a new book coming out soon R97 titled Billy Summers.

These Roxane Gay threads never fail to amuse me.

I had no idea that she even existed, before I saw her name on Datalounge.

Now, her threads are MUST READ for me!

Maybe she did take cannon’s advice after all R106

Roxane

You don’t have to put on the red light

Those days are over

You don’t have to sell your body to the night

R85. I agree about both O’Connor and Bishop (and “Revelation” is my favorite O’Connor story). Similarly, I live E.M. Forster—and his most openly “gay” book, Maurice (not published in his lifetime), while touching and sweet, is far from his greatest (either A Passage to India or Howards End), so Art, while inextricable from its place and person of origin, also transcends them at the same time—it’s not either/or, IMO

R111 Yes, I agree about Maurice. It may be that when a writer is concentrating on a "message," he or she is less open to the unknown. less of the unlooked for enters into the writing. As the saying goes, No surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader.

Roxane said it’s okay to clap for John, even though he’s a man.

Thanks for the headsup R107! I'm just finishing Duma Key so perfect timing.

Male writer so I just assumed he doesn't exist for Roxane.

How exhausting

[quote]I assure you, if you brought it up, you’d be told they ‘don’t count!’

Sadly, R88, I know you are right. It's extraordinary the lengths some of these people go to, twisting themselves into a pretzel in order that they can feel they are 'right'.

[quote]Male writer so I just assumed he doesn't exist for Roxane.

No fear, R97/R114 - Roxane says she [italic]was[/italic] a big fan of King's, until he disappointed her! And she let him know on Twitter!

[quote]As a fan, this is painful to read from you. It implies that diversity and quality cannot be synonymous. They are not separate things. Quality is everywhere but most industries only believe in quality from one demographic. And now, here you are.

^I can't remember where she says she "used to be" a fan, but I do remember her saying it somewhere. This is also the situation where her hilarious statement "I am a capable reader and understander of words" came from.

Would it be right to say that when a person who is always complaining about being exhausted, like Roxane, ends up exhausting everyone else through her exhaustion, it's ironic?

Each day I am assaulted by numerous injustices: systematic racism, homophobia, lack of representation, lack of women's rights, inequality, perpetual ignorance of white people and this is BEFORE I even get out of bed. I am EXHAUSTED before I have even started my day and it's maddening!. But then I give myself a spritz of my new fragrance, Exhaustion by Roxane Gay and I somehow I am able to soldier on another day, a warrior for the people.

Look out for my next fragrance, Privilege, a fragrance for white women and Educated, cologne for white men

I still like Stephen King R118. Every time I'm going to come down on the side of Stephen King.

Roxane Gay is constantly on the hunt for something to be offended and exhausted by. That's her sole purpose in life. She's made that very clear and so many times.

[quote]Roxane Gay is constantly on the hunt for something to be offended and exhausted by.

No wonder she's so tired. How miserable to always be looking for something to upset you, and thinking the worst of people all the time.

That story about the vet, and similar ones, makes me think someone cleverer than I could do a good satire of people like Roxane, always yelling: "I don't need advice" at experts as they progressively do more and more dangerous things, until they end up dying.

I was about to wonder if they speak like this to their doctors when their doctors give them health advice, but I already know the answer is yet, they've pretty much admitted that they think a doctor mentioning some healthier lifestyle options is akin to a violent act.

You don't need to satirize Roxane, her posts read like a parody already. I read them in that spirit and find her hilarious.

I think that's why I laugh so much at these threads, and at her in general. She really is hilarious if you read her as a parody.

Do I have to get Sarah fucking McLachlan to sing for you all before you notice my plight?

Won't you please help?

Sorry, Roxane's chair, can you speak up? It's hard to hear what you're saying!

I'm a gay man, and I think I'm in love with Roxane Gay.

HELP!!!

She has quite a way with words, doesn't she? I mean, I agree with her here, but "Im from Nebraska and I've read a book before." Hahaha!

She’s from Nebraska...suddenly it all becomes clear.

[quote]I get it now: you’re one of her sycophants, aren’t you? See? I can also make unflattering assumptions about strangers.

These people really are so fucking mentally ill which is why they thrive on twitter. Twitter is crack for these people and all other professional victims. The vet should have responded to her tweet with "I am soooo sorry I tweeted out of turn. I will also hold back from using my medical expertise to tell you that you have a 100% chance of dying of diabetes. Thank you for your time, oh, sacred obese lesbian!".

Interesting that King said that considering his last project, The Stand remake. They were very careful about diversity in the casting.

I think the only time she’s been called out was when she proudly talked about lecturing a McDonald’s worker about gender who asked her if she wanted a boy or girl toy in her happy meal.

Same R123. I pretty much believe the opposite of everything Roxane Gay says, yet I am obsessed with her and feel like she is a true, cranky, DL icon. Her tweets always make me laugh and I love the threads about her.

{quote]Interesting that King said that considering his last project, The Stand remake. They were very careful about diversity in the casting.

Not really. What King is saying is that he doesn't agree that a piece of entertainment/art should be judged primarily on diversity quotas, not that diversity isn't an important thing - and he clarified this further in a later tweet from memory. Roxane was implying he meant that diversity and art are mutually exclusive, which was a real reach, even for her.

Sorry for bungling the quote function. Again:

[quote]Interesting that King said that considering his last project, The Stand remake. They were very careful about diversity in the casting.

Not really. What King is saying is that he doesn't agree that a piece of entertainment/art should be judged primarily on diversity quotas, not that diversity isn't an important thing - and he clarified this further in a later tweet from memory. Roxane was implying he meant that diversity and art are mutually exclusive, which was a real reach, even for her.

I want to add my vote to yours R133 - Roxane for DL Icon Status!

I love threads about her too, I must admit. She frustrates me and makes me roll my eyes sometimes, but mostly I just laugh!

Oh R132, there was also the time she joined the pile on on that girl at some school in North Dakota who offended the author Sarah Dessen. She was so horrible in that case, she even had to give a half-hearted apology about it. What I remember is someone tweeting underneath her apology: "You ALWAYS do this!" Hehehehe.

She's really into her one-sided conversations with King, isn't she?

It's incredible. When Kings says, "We don't threaten writers with violence," he obviously means "don't" in the sense of "we shouldn't" or "it's not nice to," but Roxane has to interpret it as "it doesn't happen."

It's too late.

I'm in pieces now, broken, shattered.

BROKEN! IN PIECES!

I just couldn't take it any more.

I'm broken....and beautiful!

Does Roxane Gay squirt at brunch?

The last time that happened R141, we knew it as the Johnstown Flood

R139, exactly. It's her constant misunderstandings like this that show me she really is not as intelligent as she thinks she is. Or she's just not willing to do the work to understand others, just to be constantly aggrieved.

Anyone seen the show Insatiable? When it was first announced Roxane was [italic]incensed[/italic]! Here was a show where a fat girl becomes thin and her life becomes perfect! It was so offensive! She got all her followers riled up, everyone was going to boycott it.

Well, I watched the first season, and it was clear from almost the beginning that this wasn't what the show was about at all. She had seen the trailer and made a huge fuss over something that never happened. She's an idiot.

When Wendy Ortiz claimed that Kate Elizabeth Russell plagiarised her memoir for Russell's novel "My Dark Vanessa" (about a girl having a relationship with a teacher), Roxane jumped on the outrage train. It got enough attention that Russell's book was removed from Oprah's book club (Oprah not wanting another American Dirt controversy). Turns out Russell had been writing the book for [italic]years[/italic] before and was forced to defend it by talking about her own abuse as a teenager, which she hadn't wanted to.

Roxane just quietly gave the book four stars on GoodReads, like that made up for her part in it.

...

R143 I really, really hope Roxane read that tweet from katiebeluga.

katiebeluga was probably immediately blocked from Roxane's Twitter. She tends to do that a bit, from what others who have talked back to Roxane have posted.

[quote] She tends to do that a bit, from what others who have talked back to Roxane have posted.

Only speak when spoken to!!

And NEVER TALK BACK!!!

Rofl. Give me a fucking break.

Roxane's rules also include:

- Grovel if I tell you off for complimenting me!

She's weird but she was, like, gang raped as a child, so I'm sure when she feels attacked she just block block blocks everyone and then eats seven sandwiches

Well that was really nasty, R149.

And not at all funny.

Where are all the "head in hands" pics!

FFS! This is a Roxane Gay thread!

R150 I really didn't mean for it to be funny or nasty. She's said her food addiction came from that assault.

Here you are R151! x

R152 Or maybe it just comes from being a glutton.

R153 She looks ecstatic, like someone has a hand up her ... no, I don't even want to think about it.

There are others from that photoshoot that she decided not to go with.

From Roxane's Wikipedia page (Roxie, I think you're one up on my white ass in the privilege game):

"Gay was born in Omaha, Nebraska[1] to parents of Haitian descent.[8] Her parents were relatively wealthy, supporting her through college and paying her rent until she was 30."

People who are privileged do seem to spend a lot of time trying to convince the rest of the world what victims they are.

Why would she include that part about her parents paying her rent until she was 30, in her Wiki page?

That looks terrible.

^I have a dear friend, African-American, who goes on to me about my white privilege--not in a hostile way, more teasing. Finally I said to him, "Bitch, I have known you most of my adult life, and your income has always been twice mine, so WTF are you talking about?" But I do know what he's talking about in a way. These issues take some negotiating.

R159 Sometimes Wiki pages get changed by others, not well meaning. I don't know, in her case.

Privilege is really a multi-faceted thing, and too often people, like with a lot of things, try to simplify it too much to make it easier to understand.

Does this woman own a brassiere?

Talk about exhausting, r157!

R163 Hers bras keep collapsing under the strain.

Roxane's tits have this song their Ipod...

She sure does like to show off those forearm tattoos at every possible opportunity.

I've often wondered, under her own rules on this sort of thing, couldn't those tattoos be considered... *gasp!* "cultural appropriation"?!

R168.

DO NOT speak, unless you are SPOKEN TO!

I'm sure Roxanne has fully explained that in a tweet r168. And it's not our job to find it for you!

I'm sorry, Roxane! I know you have pinned that get out of jail free tweet, I should've read it more closely and done better! I am off to educate myself at this very minute. Where to start though, I have no idea, and I can't ask obviously.

Roxane, all I want is to please you! Why is it so hard?

[quote] The Butter featured writing on subjects including disability, literature, family, and music. The Butter ceased publishing in August 2015, with Gay stating she was "simply stretched too thin."

*bites tongue*

Hehehe, R173.

Why is Roxane always telling us she's not going to educate us anymore. Who asked her to in the first place? Talk about delusions of grandeur.

Mmmmmm... butter. *drools*

Deeeeeeeeeep frieeeeeeed butttteeeeeeeeeer!!!!

Buuutttter, and awyyyll........

Butter is cancelled and offensive.

Butter may have saved me from getting dry and brittle.

Aww yay, Roxane's chair is back, I thought we'd lost you for good! x

Roxane's just had this article published in the New York Times. It's so interesting reading her words and comparing it with her behaviour. She does admit in here though, relevant to this thread that "After being on the receiving end of enough aggression, everything starts to feel like an attack." --- Why People Are So Awful Online

When I joined Twitter 14 years ago, I was living in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, attending graduate school. I lived in a town of around 4,000 people, with few Black people or other people of color, not many queer people and not many writers. Online is where I found a community beyond my graduate school peers. I followed and met other emerging writers, many of whom remain my truest friends. I got to share opinions, join in on memes, celebrate people’s personal joys, process the news with others and partake in the collective effervescence of watching awards shows with thousands of strangers.

Something fundamental has changed since then. I don’t enjoy most social media anymore. I’ve felt this way for a while, but I’m loath to admit it.

Increasingly, I’ve felt that online engagement is fueled by the hopelessness many people feel when we consider the state of the world and the challenges we deal with in our day-to-day lives. Online spaces offer the hopeful fiction of a tangible cause and effect — an injustice answered by an immediate consequence. On Twitter, we can wield a small measure of power, avenge wrongs, punish villains, exalt the pure of heart.

In our quest for this simulacrum of justice, however, we have lost all sense of proportion and scale. We hold in equal contempt a war criminal and a fiction writer who too transparently borrows details from someone else’s life. It’s hard to calibrate how we engage or argue.

In real life, we are fearful Davids staring down seemingly omnipotent Goliaths: a Supreme Court poised to undermine abortion and civil rights; a patch of sea on fire from a gas leak; an incoherent but surprisingly effective attack on teaching children America’s real history; the dismantling of the Voting Rights Act; a man whom dozens of women have accused of sexual assault walking free on a technicality. At least online, we can tell ourselves that the power imbalances between us flatten. Suddenly, we are all Goliaths in the Valley of Elah.

It makes me uncomfortable to admit that I have some influence and power online, because it feels so foreign or, maybe, unlikely. My online following came slowly, and then all at once. For years, I had a couple hundred followers. Those numbers slowly inched up to a couple thousand. Then I wrote a couple of books, and blinked, and suddenly hundreds of thousands of people were seeing my tweets. Most of them appreciate my work, though they may disagree with my opinions. Some just hate me, as is their right, and they follow me to scavenge for evidence to support or intensify their enmity. Then there are those who harass me for all kinds of reasons — some aspect of my identity or my work or my presence in the world troubles their emotional waters.

After a while, the lines blur, and it’s not at all clear what friend or foe look like, or how we as humans should interact in this place. After being on the receiving end of enough aggression, everything starts to feel like an attack. Your skin thins until you have no defenses left. It becomes harder and harder to distinguish good-faith criticism from pettiness or cruelty. It becomes harder to disinvest from pointless arguments that have nothing at all to do with you. An experience that was once charming and fun becomes stressful and largely unpleasant. I don’t think I’m alone in feeling this way. We have all become hammers in search of nails. (tbc)

One person makes a statement. Others take issue with some aspect of that statement. Or they make note of every circumstance the original statement did not account for. Or they misrepresent the original statement and extrapolate it to a broader issue in which they are deeply invested. Or they take a singular instance of something and conflate it with a massive cultural trend. Or they bring up something ridiculous that someone said more than a decade ago as confirmation of … who knows?

Or someone popular gets too close to the sun and suddenly can do nothing right. “Likes” are analyzed obsessively, as if clicking a button on social media is representative of an entire ideology. If a mistake is made, it becomes immediate proof of being beyond redemption. Or, if the person is held mildly accountable for a mistake, a chorus rends her or his garments in distress, decrying the inhumanity of “cancel culture.” Editors’ Picks A Tour de France With a Twist: Only 1 Rider Tokyo Olympics: Athletes to Watch This Summer Answers to 20 Questions About Getting a Good Night’s Sleep Continue reading the main story

Every harm is treated as trauma. Vulnerability and difference are weaponized. People assume the worst intentions. Bad-faith arguments abound, presented with righteous bluster.

And these are the more reasonable online arguments. There is another category entirely of racists, homophobes, transphobes, xenophobes and other bigots who target the subjects of their ire relentlessly and are largely unchecked by the platforms enabling them. And then, of course, there are the straight-up trolls, gleefully wreaking havoc.

As someone who has been online for a long time, I have seen all kinds of ridiculous arguments and conversations. I have participated in all kinds of ridiculous arguments and conversations. Lately, I’ve been thinking that what drives so much of the anger and antagonism online is our helplessness offline. Online we want to be good, to do good, but despite these lofty moral aspirations, there is little generosity or patience, let alone human kindness. There is a desperate yearning for emotional safety. There is a desperate hope that if we all become perfect enough and demand the same perfection from others, there will be no more harm or suffering.

It is infuriating. It is also entirely understandable. Some days, as I am reading the news, I feel as if I am drowning. I think most of us do. At least online, we can use our voices and know they can be heard by someone.

It’s no wonder that we seek control and justice online. It’s no wonder that the tenor of online engagement has devolved so precipitously. It’s no wonder that some of us have grown weary of it.

I don’t regret the time I’ve spent on social media. I’ve met interesting people. I’ve had real-life adventures instigated by virtual relationships. I’ve been emboldened to challenge myself and grow as a person and, yes, clap back if you clap first.

But I have more of a life than I once did. I have a wife, a busy career, aging parents and a large family. I have more physical mobility and, in turn, more interest in being active and out in the world. I now spend most of my time with people who are not Very Online. When I talk to them about some weird or frustrating internet conflagration, they tend to look at me as if I am speaking a foreign language from a distant land. And I suppose, I am.

(sorry for picking up "Editors’ Picks A Tour de France With a Twist: Only 1 Rider Tokyo Olympics: Athletes to Watch This Summer Answers to 20 Questions About Getting a Good Night’s Sleep Continue reading the main story" somehow in the copy and paste, that clearly shouldn't be there).

One of the comments on that article:

[italic]There always seems to be reckoning by famous people - Ms Gay and Chrissy Tiegen are two that recently come to mind - of how bad social media is, but this reckoning only takes place when the tides turn on them. It always amazes me how well meaning, thoughtful and even well educated people can fall prey to the pull of having millions of followers and “likes” innoculate them from their own bad behavior for years only to find their way when the same crowd that lauded them grabs their pitch forks.

Another:

[italic]I'd be interested in reading an article in which someone who perpetuates the discourse on social media and benefits from it--like Ms. Gay--actually writing a mea culpa and then doing something about it.

[quote]So now Ms. Gay realizes that Twitter has become toxic? Well, where was she when the platform erupted with venom and insults in the wake of a collective letter signed by Margaret Atwood and Salman Rushdie, among others, defending (the horror!) freedom of speech? Where was she when as kids burned Harry Potter books because of something or other their author said about trans people and proudly displayed this badge of enlightenment on TikTok: book burning? And where was she when university professors were hunted down by online mobs because they disagreed with the current party line on something or other? I know where she was: on Twitter. So now as the chickens are coming home to roost and people are rebelling against the left groupthink, suddenly it is all too much? Sorry but it is all on you. And if Democrats lose the midterm because voters, rightly or wrongly, associate them with virtue-signaling, intolerance, and race-baiting on social media, don’t complain.

[quote]I am not able to see much distinction between what I read from Roxanne Gay and what I see on Twitter. Every one of her criticisms of social media communication could be applied to her own work.

[quote]Today Professor Roxane Gay shares her learned explanation as to "Why People Are So Awful Online."

[quote]But in 2018 when I wrote a reasoned, appreciative, complimentary, and respectful thread on Twitter discussing a previous Times piece of hers, she responded by telling me to "Blank off, mother-blanker."

[quote]I'm rolling my eyes at you, professor.

[quote]Several years ago I was the subject of Roxane Gay's online ire when I posted a reply to her on Twitter, about a topic we are both very knowledgeable about. Her harsh reaction to being disagreed with was less disconcerting than the reflexive, angry, content-free pile-on from many of her followers. ('If you mess with Roxane then I'm coming for you, too' was the tenor of one representative reply, from another widely-known author.)

[quote]Roxane Gay was one of the writers who, a couple years back, bullied a random college student on Twitter for telling an interviewer that the work of YA romance writer Sarah Dessen should not be assigned as mandatory college reading. (To be fair, Gay later apologized, which many of the writers involved did not.) If she's critical of Twitter now, it may be because she's used it in a particularly thoughtless and hurtful way and gotten called out for it.

[quote]I think it would have made this essay better if she'd acknowledged that episode of online bullying and her part in it, instead of sticking to safe generalities.

NOW she knows.

She KNOWS what it means to feel less than, to have a complete and total lack of support!

R181, that article convinces me she's the social media equivalent of an alcoholic. I couldn't even read the entire thing, the hypocrisy of it.

Those article comments are everything. Thank you for posting them.

I'm team Roxane, regarding her article at R181/R182.

Most of the commenters are completely missing the point of what she wrote, and are in fact proving her point.

They're so quick to just trash her, because she's... Roxane Gay.

And the more popular she has become, the more people want to tear her down. That's her point.

Not only that, but people online love to cherry pick. They take one word, or one "like" that she has commented on, and turn that into her entire ideology. Which it is clearly NOT.

But online trolls were never known for being intelligent, or nuanced.

They're simply just TROLLS. And they ARE fucking exhausting.

Which is what she probably really wanted to say, but could not.

As if Roxane never engaged in a rush to judgment and trashed someone R194

[quote] But Roxanne Gay is not known for being intelligent, or nuanced, except by her fans.

FIXED

[quote] As if Roxane never engaged in a rush to judgment and trashed someone R194.

In this case, you almost have to read between the lines of what she said.

I think Roxane was basically saying that she has evolved, yet she did so without making the traditional excuses that people make.

She's trying to say that things she might have said or done (since becoming more famous), could have been 10 or more years ago. And perhaps she was wrong for saying it.

I mean read the article again. Roxane admitted to basically being a shut-in in Northern Michigan, and her only friends were online. She was lonely, overweight, and her only friends were on the internet. She did was all of us here are doing now.

However, since then she has become nationally recognized, she has lost weight, she got married, she's older, and she lives in the realm of live people, as opposed to living life online. She has undoubtedly changed for the better, professionally and personally.

Yet with that evolution, popularity, and fame has also come personal attacks. Sometimes warranted, but many times not.

Most of us can't really imagine what it's like to go from that type of obscurity being a college student in Northern Michigan, to becoming a nationally recognized writer. It comes with a lot of changes and a LOT of attention, whether asked for, or not.

Based on the comments in this thread, it's pretty clear that it's beyond the comprehension of most of you.

Especially when you revel in personal attacks on her appearance (which she also mentioned, in not so many words).

All she can and should do is live her best life, and tell the haters to piss off.

To the Roxane apologist at R197, tl:dr

If it walks like a scolding duck, acts like a scolding duck and tweets like a scolding duck….

Hypocrisy, thy name is Roxane Gay

R198-R200 is a perfect example of the lack of intellectualism that Roxane has to deal with.

No rational argument, no reasoned explanations.

Just attack, attack, attack.

I mean, how can you take anyone who writes "tl;dr" seriously? It's like arguing with a two year old.

I'm not even Roxane, and I'm already "exhausted" with the morons.

R199, that is the case with all of the extremists on the SJW end of things. There are plenty of SJWs who aren't like this though but they tend to be less vocal. With people like Roxanne, they feel a lack of control in their lives so they want to control others. Twitter is like crack for them because of groupthink and the immediacy of it. A person can make someone look bad in like 5 minutes on twitter by taking their quotes out of context. People like Roxanne can also instruct their groups of "followers" to unleash their wrath on a person.

Roxanne spends like 90% of her time attacking others.

Oh hun, go back to posting praise, blind affirmations and ❤️s on Roxane’s Twitter.

No one here cares.

R201, is this you kissing Roxy’s ample ass?

[quote] Roxanne spends like 90% of her time attacking others.

A "statistic" you have clearly pulled out of your ass.

She says it all here in this Tweet:

[quote] roxane gay@rgay

[quote] I will say it again. My tweets are not meant to be universal. They will not nor cannot account for every reality. If something I say doesn’t include or apply to you that doesn’t invalidate your truth.

If you are too stupid to understand the sentiment, then it's not her job to explain it to you.

Sheila feels this “so deeply”

Her followers are so articulate.

🙄

R181 I wouldn't have thought the Upper Peninsula even had a college, let alone a graduate school. I wonder what beyond-obscure grad school she went to.

Nice to see how agreeable she is in her “real” life.

R209, it looks like she got her PhD at Michigan Technological University.

R211 I guess Michigan Technological University impressed the Times no end.

R210, I don't think what she wrote in that Tweet was unreasonable.

We're living in 2021.

Why are people still asking if a toy is "for a boy or a girl?" That is so outdated and antiquated.

She was simply trying to explain to the cashier that the gender of child who is receiving the toy, shouldn't matter. It's completely irrelevant. And it reinforces stereotypes that no longer have a place in our society.

As gay people, we should understand that more than anyone else.

Particularly those of us boys who liked to play with dolls, or liked to dance, or style hair, or anything like that.

She could also said “no thank you” when asked about the toy, taken her food and shut up.

She didn’t need to lecture the teen, who was trying to do the job they’re paid to do.

[quote] She didn’t need to lecture the teen, who was trying to do the job they’re paid to do.

Some people might appreciate the learning experience.

Those of us who strive to get better.

Then there are those miserable jerks like R214, who insist on being dumb assholes for their entire existence.

It seems like a decent school, R212.

R213 Aren't there boys and girls anymore? I spent the day with a couple of boys, and at one point we stopped at a supermarket and a girl checked us out. It seemed so straightforward.

[quote]She didn’t need to lecture the teen, who was trying to do the job they’re paid to do.

And the question was probably mandated by management, which would have been a better target for her “instruction,”

...

Sounds like Shane has some stories to tell!

She loves her block button!

Block, block, block!

Well, judging by what she wrote in today's Times, social media won't have Roxane to kick around anymore.

[quote] Well, judging by what she wrote in today's Times, social media won't have Roxane to kick around anymore.

And likewise, neither will Datalounge.

I guess you'll just have to go back to making fun of Chrissy Metz, to get your "fat attack" fix.

R215. Try harder.

Pity R215 for trying to justify the actions of a woman who once accused someone of mansplaining when he question an ingredient in her recipe.

#ProtectTheFlowerThatIsRoxane.

Roxane blocks for sport

Here a block

There a block

Everywhere a block

Block

Yet R215 applauds her for ability to go around and enrich the lives of others with her teachable moments

[quote] Pity R215 for trying to justify the actions of a woman who once accused someone of mansplaining when he question an ingredient in her recipe.

Oh, the humanity!!

She should be locked up for 10 years, for such a crime!

It's funny. In her article, Roxane wrote:

[quote] In our quest for this simulacrum of justice, however, we have lost all sense of proportion and scale. We hold in equal contempt a war criminal and a fiction writer who too transparently borrows details from someone else’s life. It’s hard to calibrate how we engage or argue.

That describes R226 PERFECTLY!!!

Your weird accusatory tone in your post, would make someone think she was guilty of murder!!

Whereas, in REALITY all she did was accuse someone of "mansplaining."

Over the top? YES. A crime, worthy of vilifying her? HARDLY.

You really are proving her point.

[quote] When I joined Twitter 14 years ago, I was living in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, attending graduate school.

So many of this country's most prestigious institutions of higher education are located there.

What a miserable kvetch

She’s a people person

Whatevs R233

Roxane wrote:

[quote] Then there are those who harass me for all kinds of reasons — some aspect of my identity or my work or my presence in the world troubles their emotional waters.

R234 quoted her article:

[quote] When I joined Twitter 14 years ago, I was living in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, attending graduate school.

And then wrote:

[quote] So many of this country's most prestigious institutions of higher education are located there.

Once again proving Roxane's point.

R234 for some inexplicable reason, has decided to attack all the universities located in Upper Michigan, including one from which Roxane has rightfully and respectfully earned her PhD.

And all for the sake of.... what, again?

Roxane Gay has left the conversation.

Wait.

Is she a great big fat person?

R233 In our quest for this simulacrum of justice, however, we have lost all sense of proportion and scale. We hold in equal contempt a war criminal and a fiction writer who too transparently borrows details from someone else’s life. It’s hard to calibrate how we engage or argue.

I have no interest in making her out to be evil, but a lot of what she says is sloppy and tiresome, and given her prominence deserves to be called out. In the above, for instance, who is the "we" who have lost all sense of proportion? Social-media users, I think she means, but a vast variety of people use Twitter, etc., so why does she generalize like this? And who holds a plagiarizing fiction writer in equal contempt with a war criminal? She needs to give examples. It's just a bizarre thing to say. And if what she's getting at is that Twitter damages our minds and our moral outlook--well, she been on Twitter for a long time. Why did it take her so long to come to this position? Or is her real reason for abandoning Twitter less high-minded? Does she just not like the pushback she's received?

r241, I think that the column is the closest she will ever come to an apology for how badly she's behaved on Twitter, even though at no point does she say she's sorry or that she regrets what she's done.

She’s a big boned gal, R240

R206, see R210's post. This woman is not above talking to a $9 an hour cashier at McDonalds about how "damaging" their statements are to the "gender binary". Yet it's so difficult for you to imagine her arguing with people 90% of the time. OK then.

[quote] She was simply trying to explain to the cashier that the gender of child who is receiving the toy, shouldn't matter. It's completely irrelevant. And it reinforces stereotypes that no longer have a place in our society.

The cashier is saying what McDonald's wants him or her to say. If Roxanne had a genuine problem with that, she should take her issue to someone higher up, not the helpless cashier.

R245 What makes the exchange with the McDonald's cashier extra rich is that Roxie grew up wealthy. Her parents paid her rent until she was 30.

R246, and that bitch has the audacity to lecture anyone who argues with her about their "privilege" and how superior she is?! Fuck that!

R213 you’re such a turd. A cashiers job is to get your order, get it right, get your money and get you fuck out of there. Not to listen to an over privileged hog bodied cunt lecture you about a plastic toy.

Is Roxane still lusting after Channing Tatum?

R249, probably in the same way Rose O'Donnell "lusted" after Tom Cruise.

The crazed and the bitter. Where would the internet be without them?

I suspect most boys want boys' toys, and most girls want girls' toys, no matter what all the SJWs on twitter shriek and howl about from dawn to dusk.

[quote] Is she a great big fat person?

It's just so easy to attack a person's appearance, rather than actually debate the substance of their words.

How sad.

[quote] I suspect most boys want boys' toys, and most girls want girls' toys, no matter what all the SJWs on twitter shriek and howl about from dawn to dusk.

Even if that were true, how hard is it to say "Do you want the Space Jam toy or the Luca toy? And which character?"

It's just a slight shift in thinking. Instead of focusing on the child's gender (which again, is irrelevant), just ask what fucking toy they want.

Simple. Done.

It's also simple, done not to decide to be a complete twat if somebody doesn't conform to your weird and stupid view of what toys are and what kids are.

Again, the proper tactic would be to take it up with McDonald’s management, not harangue a teenager who’s following corporate standards so he can earn a paltry paycheck. This was definitely a case of Roxane punching down.

You’re an idiot R253, speed is the name of the game at a fast food restaurant. They don’t time to ask you what character you want. Besides happy meal toys change characters every week, you get what you get.

The people who defend Roxane so passionately are always interesting to me. You see them on Twitter and there is a real air of nervous desperation around what they say. They seem so scared that Roxane might turn on them too. It's funny that she has so many people willing to do this, when she has been known, repeatedly, to attack the people who look up to her.

[quote] I'm team Roxane

I'm team Fat Cunt Needs To Stop Demanding That The Entire Free World Bend To Her Every Thought and Whim

She's so testy. Just don't answer questions on Twitter if you don't want to, Roxane!

Pat better give it up. He’s cruising for a bruising.

Lol at R259's link:

[quote] Pat Host@Pat_Host Which UP school were you attending? Tech? LSSU? Marquette is bigger than 4,000 people.

Roxane replies:

[quote] roxane gay@rgay You’re trying to do what here? I lived in Hancock MI population 4,000. While attending Tech.

"Pat Host" replies back:

[quote] Pat Host@Pat_Host I thought Tech was it. I was wondering. Thanks.

Roxane has NO TIME for your stupid questions.

Move along!

Rofl. She really cracks me up.

Give me twelve sandwiches, 5 cakes and four gallons of chocolate milk.

And then I'll think about what's for breakfast.

[quote] roxane gay@rgay

[quote] You’re trying to do what here?

Lol, I'm going to start using this line.

"You're trying to do WHAT, here?" It's so bitchy and confrontational. Oh, and condescending.

Things Roxane does so well.

I doubt she gets death threats. I don’t think most people know who she is, except for on here and of course her female fans.

Well R253 she IS a “great fat person,” and in truth, obsesity has an effect on our happiness and self worth. All the Lizos and Lenses in the world won’t change that. Weight makes people uncomfortable and angry. I have been overweight and healthy weight and I can say I was physically uncomfortable and so much testier with excess weight. Thing bothered me more - even just humid weather.

Obese women have it worse than men, I’d imagine. Not just regular body fat but enormous breast weight, too.

If Roxane ever replies back, “ Keep it moving, Toots”, we’ll have proof that she reads DL.

If Roxane gets death threats, it’s most likely from her bathroom scale.

Do you think she's appreciate it if I tweeted her that she'd probably be in a better mood if she weighed less?

I am certain that she would receive your tweet with grace and appreciation, R268

Can I have your stuff?

Could it be that our Roxane is finally turning her back on the concept of cultural appropriation?

She is exhausting.

R270 She probably just wants to fuck Olivia.

After dipping her in frosting, of course.

BuzzFeed was really the thing a few years back, but in past couple of years I've really noticed a lot of disdain people from all walks of life have for it. Not sure what happened there, but it's interesting.