Best Remedy for "Balloon Knot"

If it doesn't bother you in terms of pain or discomfort, you don't need any of that stuff. If you're only concern is cosmetic, a hemorrhoidectomy is really your only option - and the pain is absolutely excruciating afterwards.

I had an enormous hemorrhoid the size of a large grape several years ago, and it was painful AF. I tried everything -ointments, suppositories, sitzbaths. I eventually scheduled a hemorrhoidectomy, but I was super scared after reading how painful they are. Luckily, I found a homeopathic remedy that cleared it up - I swear to God it worked. Every night before bed, I'd take a clove of organic garlic, smear it in coconut oil, and shove it up my asshole and then shit it out in the morning. After months of suffering, this got rid of it within three days! The pucker has never looked quite the same, but I don't care because the hemorrhoid is gone (and I'm not a bottom, so no one is looking there anyway).

These things, especially the small ones, tend to recede on their own (not saying they won't come back for a return visit), but you have to keep from the temptation of poking, checking and prodding at the area too much. As for suppositories, they are only good for internal ones from what I recall, but could be wrong. Try not to obsesses about it which I know from experience can be hard.

For something this minor the best things are to keep the area clean and dry and give it time. If you were to use any "stuff" on it, this is what I recommend. Works very well for me and easily found on Amazon (yes, evil, but convenient)

Very gently apply this particular kind of Witch Hazel linked below. This brand is the best, and no they all aren't the same. Apply with some soaked toilet paper to the affected area and let it settle in for a while like a home-made TUCKS pad. Then pat dry very gently (or really you can just "air dry"). You can also make your own wipes by pouring a some of the Thayers on soft toilet paper which will make the toilet paper less irritating, while helping to cleanse the area.

At night before bed, apply Desitin Maximum Strength cream with 40% Zinc Oxide to the affected area. Very gently patting it in. I think you'll be surprised how much both of these items work in tandem to lessen the situation. You'll see results pretty fast. Best of luck OP

Link to the zinc oxide cream I recommend. This shit is magic for so many other "conditions". From burns to bug bites, to heat rash, to...I won't bore you further. Anyway, everyone should keep some on hand.

Self-cauterization with a soldering gun.

[quote]Don't shame me!!!!!!!

WHORE!

low-mileage pussy...I've seen more miles on a used-car lot full of 1980s Chevrolets

I thought getting fucked regularly was good for hemorrhoids …….