Things that are NEVER as good as people claim.

People who claim they make the 'best chili' or recommend a place that has the 'best chili' -- it never is.

WandaVision

Coffee shops. Every boutique coffee shop tries to emulate the Starbucks taste, regardless of what they claim.

Sex.

Those overpriced cupcake places that were all the rage a few years ago!

Bath houses.

Movie or book recommendations.

Ramen shops...worse, ramen whiskey shops.

I feel about ramen the way you do about ice cream, OP.

I just make my own.

My friend's fifth husband.

Restaurants in general.

I have a cousin who makes recommendations all the time about THE BEST place to get _____ . I no longer trust her judgment.

"Designer" donuts.

High end male escorts.

BBQ - no matter what American state it comes from, they all seem to have this oversized pride in their BBQ.

It's good - it's fine - but seriously, it's not something to be so boastful about. It's slow cooked marinated meat. Of COURSE it falls off the bone after being cooked for 12-24 hours. Shoe leather comes apart too at that temp and length of time.

And also - that diabetes-inducing sweet tea. It's iced tea with unacceptable amounts of sugar. Get over yourself.

Yes - it's primarily the stupid Southern states with nothing else going on.

My cousin's specialty is "pulled pork." I've seen her make it. She uses KC Masterpiece bottled sauce and it's not good (her "pulled pork"). She makes it all the time. I think her husband has dead taste buds.

Leaving Manhattan, (for me, I realize your experience my differ). Leaving for a fabulous Caribbean beach USED to be a good reason but now every beach is filled with seaweed and/or sewage or redtide or plastic and even Europe seems trashy these days. Now with legal weed I can eat an edible, go to the rooftop spa and pretend I'm in Aruba. It's just as relaxing and a third of the price.

I was just looking at live webcams across America and the West specifically on Windy.com. I can't even imagine how dull it must be to live in the middle of nowhere like Idaho and about 43 other states. It's no wonder people do meth.

Vegie burgers -- "They taste just like real meat!"

Yes, I'm always skeptical, OP. I live in a city that is so intensely hot that ice cream shops are a big thing. If I want to share my favorite, I tell them that there are many fine ice cream shops in the city, but only one I am crazy for and the reason is... Whereas other shops start with one or two common bases for all flavors, my favorite starts with 15 or so bases (things like goat cheese which has a slight sharpness and creaminess) which they pair with specific flavors with a fanatical attention to quality of ingredients. The flavors change all the time based on the best stuff they can buy fresh. I tell them the base have great depth to them and the flavors that are incorporated into them are very clean and fresh in taste, some wonderful counterpoint and complimentary flavors that are leagues ahead of all the rest. On I go. If they listen attentively they are well rewarded. And that's what I hope for if I ask someone else's advice on where's the best whatever? I they immediately say, "oh, the best pizza is Gianni's, everybody says, they're famous!" then I continue my research looking for someone who understands that I want an informed opinion, not a popularity contest winner. Most people will just recommend the place that has the biggest lines or has been there 70 years, but when someone troubles themselves to tell me why something is good in some detail, I want to try it.

R17 - I actually will say that the Impossible Burger was like no other veggie burger I've ever had. You would never know it was veggie. The others? Yeah - black bean, mushroom, asian-flavored - the other ones are all pretty much the same and not like real burgers.

To that point, I will say BURGERS. It's cheap meat on a bun. Yes, some are better than others, but it's a burger.

I feel like all the food that people compete over is sports game food - pizza, burgers, beer, BBQ, chicken wings, etc. It's all straight men who rarely go in the kitchen and who have nothing else going on in their lives. They want so desperately to win at SOMETHING so they go on and on about their chosen fatty, unhealthy snack food.

The work of Lin Manuel Miranda.

[quote]And also - that diabetes-inducing sweet tea. It's iced tea with unacceptable amounts of sugar. Get over yourself.

It didn't used to be. When I was a kid, sweet tea was about 1/2 or 3/4 cup of sugar per gallon of tea. You made it in batches for summer potlucks and picnics and it was strong, because it was meant to be poured over ice which would melt down. When sweet tea started getting popular in restaurants it was overly sweet and obviously didn't use real sugar, and it's undrinkable.

Same with pizza parlours.

“Best pizza you ever had!”

“The real deal — like in Napoli!!”

And then you get there, and.. it’s a pizza.

R21 - and yet - it's just tea, ice and sugar. Nothing to crow about.

You like tea? You like iced tea? Well just WAIT until you taste OUR recipe! We put SUGAR in it! Amazing. Groundbreaking. Thrilling.

I'll add two more to the list of things that are never as good as they claim - Florida (any destination in the state) and any Caribbean island. Yes, they have different histories and they love to say how different they are - but really, they aren't. They are small, poor islands with beaches, plants and bugs. Once you've been to a few, it is hard to justify returning.

R5 You mean 15 to 20 years ago!

R24 I’m in flyoverstan, time moves a bit slower in these parts.

Sweet tea was a big deal a couple hundred years ago when sugar was a prized commodity. It was meant to be similar to a mint julep. It hasn't been a big deal since the end of rationing in WWII so anyone who says otherwise is probably just trying to sell you some.

Dime Store fragrances. There are good ones but everyone will have a different opinion which are good.

"In spots" in summer party resorts. Ibiza, Sitges, Albufeira, Saint-Tropez, Romagnola, Rimini, Tropea, Bodrum. Most of the time you get there and it's not your scene.

R26 - you just pulled that out of your ass. Sugar cane in the Southern US isn't exactly rare. Ice was much harder to come by than sugar before refrigeration.

Thanksgiving food.

R28, stop embarrassing yourself. It's on Wikipedia. And before you do that stupid-person- trying-to-sound-smart thing, read the sources. They're legit. There are also a couple dozen good articles out there about it, too.

Photos. Some people always want to show you their [italic]amazing[/italic] photos -- has only gotten worse with social media/IG/cell phones with all of these filters..

I live in Pittsburgh, where my main "never as good" food is pizza.

There's longtime favorite, Mineo's, but it's a dump for eating in, and the dining room usually reeks of air freshener from the restrooms. It's not good reheated—the cheese gets a nasty texture—so getting it to go is a no-go.

There was Pizza Taglio, but the owner lost his lease and moved to France. That really was the very best pizza we've ever had. Nothing else compares.

There's Badamo's on the North Side. New York sized regular slices, and nice squares of Sicilian. They use a better grade of cheese than most slice shops.

I've tried others, but none is as good as people claim.

Dignity

[quote] Dime Store fragrances. There are good ones but everyone will have a different opinion which are good.

Those are for The Poors

Asking a server for wine recommendations/pairings when dining out. They're just pulling those suggestions out of their ass.

Even if a restaurant did indeed have wine tasting for its' staff, they're not realistically going to crack open a bottle of their entire wine list. Servers aren't going to remember the entire wine list either.

Wine tasting. It’s nothing more than a bar crawl through a vineyard.

R35, I also forgot to add, unless you're buying an entire bottle, that glass of wine is coming from a bottle that's been uncorked and sitting around behind the bar for who knows how long.

Literally any restaurant/food in nearly any city. Right, you happen to live around the corner from the greatest fill in the blank ever in the world!

God I hate conversations about food! I always feel oddly embarrassed in restaurants, reminds me of this David Mitchell rant

Republicans.

anal sex

Fancy, overpriced, overcomplicated cocktails. Ugh - there's too much going on in these drinks. Weird flavors that are just going to give you a stomach ache if you have more than one.

I'll also add weddings to the list. No matter what you do - it's the same ceremony, just with varying amounts of cost and flair. I did go to one wedding that was exceptional, but they paid through the nose and it was a 3 day event. That was an outlier.

Just keep shit simple and elegant. Less is more. When you try to impress people, you usually fail.

I still haven't had a cronut. I certainly wouldn't stand in line for one. Are they still popular? And that good?

It must be that Portland has stood still, as that’s where I live and am reporting from.

Yeah, once you're past your 20s, attending weddings is a chore.

For one thing, there are the odds of divorce.

Next, if you're still working (not retired), there goes half of your weekend.

Finally, it's expensive (gift, possible travel, etc.).

Every couple claims they're doing something unique and different. Yet, the food is usually not that great and it's still a hassle, overall, to attend.

The United States of America

R44 agreed, weddings are such an embarrassingly forced and unnatural social gathering

Weddings used to be a thing that a young couple would invite a handful of friends, some of their parents' friends, and a few neighbors.

Now the guest list goes long and wide in the hopes for a gift. My sister got invited to a wedding and it took her a week to figure out she was invited by someone she vaguely knew from HS and who she saw every once in a while at the grocery store. She never even know what the kid's name was but now she's expected to cough up a $200 present for her spawn? Ugh.

I question the restaurant recommendations from people on Check, Please! I have eaten at some places that all 3 guest reviewers have enthusiastically praised and the food ended up being [bold]meh[/bold]. I ordered the same food they ordered. Now, I automatically doubt their credibility. Maybe I was lucky enough to be exposed to good cuisine and some of those reviewers grew up with mediocre taste and don't know any better.

I'm from Buffalo originally and I will say that it does have some fine regional specialties. But no, there are no "best wings" -- the main difference between the wings in Buffalo and wings from other areas is the meatiness. You wouldn't survive a week in Buffalo if you served some of the scrawny specimens I've seen in other places. Also, beef on weck, roasted banana peppers, and fish fries. If you're going to put those items on a menu they better be damn good because there is a place across the street that is also serving them. So wings, beef on weck, banana peppers, and fish fries, (oh! and sponge candy) are all of high quality. But there are no "best" of any regional dish.

I was excited to grill peaches for the first time the other night. I did what the New York Times said, kept it simple with a brush of olive oil. It was underwhelming. Peaches are overrated anyway, except in the hands of a skilled pie maker.

R48 - to be fair, they pick a high end, medium and low-end priced restaurants for the show. The low and the high end places don't ever seem worth a trip. It's usually some suburban or South side guy who thinks his local place is the best - and it probably is for the neighborhood, but nothing to go out of your way for.

The high end places are always well known and have been praised in other places, so that's not really picking something unique. And the attitude of the people who pick the high priced places are laughable - almost invariably an insufferable, pretentious prick.

Life

The best wedding I ever went to was a college friend's in the late 1970s. It was just a church service on a Saturday afternoon, with cake and nonalcoholic punch afterwards. You probably couldn't get away with that now.

Going out, especially in a group.

New Year's Eve

Maybe not exactly what you meant OP, but I notice this lately with older movies that are hyped up. I end up feeling dumb when I beg someone to watch it, only for it to be not so great.

Your female friend’s friend that they think you would make such a great couple with.

Here’s his picture. Isn’t he so hot? No? Seriously? You need glasses. Well I’m calling him anyway. I’m gonna hook you two up, you’ll thank me later.

Macaroni and cheese 🫕

Hair products

Keto, paleo, so-called ‘cleanses’, peloton, triathlons, marathons, any goop style “wellness” nonsense, camping, going to a beach, and travel generally.

Cannoli

And CASE IN POINT, I have bought Graeter’s ice cream three times now at the insistence of you bitches, and it’s perfectly decent ice cream but come ON.

Titty Clamps

Theatre. I’ve never seen a show that couldn’t have been shorter. Musicals always have dull filler songs. Serious plays have too many monologues and actors shouting their lines. Funny ones are never really all that funny. But tickets are expensive so nobody wants to admit it wasn’t that great.

Having children.

Shooting the neighbor that's been harassing you for years.

Black presidents.

Fanta OR Shasta!

R61 - indeed, I will see your cannoli and raise you a tiramisu. Both are the most overrated desserts and they're just not that great. Italians make wonderful food, but their desserts are afterthoughts.

Most pasta dishes are also just OK. It's good, I'm just never going to wet my pants over it.

R69, no you didn’t! Tiramisu is one of the best desserts in this world.

Why are people surprised that they don’t like the same things as other people? I barf when I see cannolis, but I fully understand that some people love them. It’s not rocket science.

R70- I LOVE the whipped cream part but they ruin it with COFFEE ☕️- 🤢

Some people have MULTIPLE orgasms over this but it’s just merely good-

French food

Being MARY!ed.

Plymouth Rock.

Firework displays

R70 - the problem I have with Tiramisu is that, almost overnight, it became the primary dessert choice of every Italian restaurant. And then I heard of Italian Americans talking about how they were raised on tiramisu and that their grandmothers made it.

No they fucking didn't because the dish was only invented in the 1980s. Then it became ubiquitous in the 90's.

It's the same wet ladyfingers and espresso cream - it's not really 'good' baking.

R27 I'm trying to figure out what "dime store fragrance" means...ive heard the term but not sure if you mean stuff sold at Macys or the dollar store

Christmas

Disneyland, Disneyworld, anything Disney.. Theme parks in general.

Let's face it, just about everything.

Instead, it's the quieter, smaller things that are most satisfying.

I would suggest a companion thread to this about things that are far better than what people claim, but I have a hunch it would stall out by the second post.

Chinese restaurants.

When I lived in New York, from 1972-87, it seemed everyone recommended their own favorite Chinese place. And they were ALL different! So my then wife and I tried out a number of them, and they just never seemed as good as the ones we liked. Once, we even got our favorite dish to take out from each of 4 or 5 different places. Good, but it took a while to accrue.

In 2005, I was out and on my own back in the City, and strolled around in search of those favorite eateries. They were all gone.

Life in the Big Apple.

And pizza.

When I lived there, the best pizza in New York was at a takeout place on the corner of 6th Ave. and W. 12th St. Ray’s. The very best. There were always lines out the door. It was so good that dozens of other pizza places called themselves variations of Ray’s: Original Ray’s, Famous Ray’s, New York Ray’s. You get the picture…

Went back there after a while, and what’s there now? A nail salon! Is nothing sacred?

Then, years after that, I saw some food documentary on the History Channel that showed the REAL original Ray’s was someplace in Brooklyn.

Go figure.

I ate at Ray's all the time, johnspike. I lived on 10th Street for some time, and pizza was my favorite food. BTW, it was at the corner of 11th, not 12th. And it really was the original Ray's.

Steak Houses.

Gangbangs.

I love cannoli, but not every place makes a good cannoli - however you don't have to go to some hole-in-the-wall bakery to find it. I lived in Buffalo for over 10 years (and am moving back and for the life of me i've never seen the appeal of the weck roll with big huge pieces of salt on it. I like roast beef sandwiches, and even grew to like chicken finger subs, but weck rolls and sponge candy is just...a taste i didn't acquire. i do love the pizza that is far different than the kind you get out on the west coast, and of course the wings as well, PLUS ALL THE GREEK FOOD that is not available here on the west coast. And homemade pierogies, italian sausage or polish sausage sandwiches. And i miss Tim Horton's!

Not to derail, but how is the pizza different R87?

[R84]: Thanks for the correction. And the photo. In my mind it’s still there. Always the best pizza I ever ate.

No other place will ever compare.

Pete Buttigieg. Overrated. Proud father of Imaginary Children he used to raise donor money. Got his husband a job and promoted his husband as a teacher and his husband only did it for months before quiting.. Multiple mistakes while on the Transportation job for only months.

First r87, and i know this is silly, they cut the slices in squares. I feel like the smaller size slice kind of concentrates the flavors. I haven't lived there for 10 years, but there was no such thing as thin crust. That may have changed, but the dough was thicker and more flavorful than what we get out here. It could be because much of the water used in the smaller towns is well water. it just seemed juicier and more flavorful...and not just drippy/greasy. Lots of cheese. Most places you would get pizza from (even the small town shitty places) were so good.

[R87]: Essentially, a slice at Ray’s was like any other. At first. But, when you ordered a pepperoni slice, they’d take a regular pepperoni slice from a pie, then add extra pepperoni and cover it all with a mound of shredded mozzarella. Then they’d pop it into one of their many ovens for a couple minutes.

By the time it came out, it was slathered in melted cheese.

The most I could eat was two slices. Then I was full.

Never seen any other place do anything like that.

Perfection!

[48} I share your opinion of the restaurant reviews that come out of Check Please!! Michelle Bernstein works hard to give all three restaurants exposure and a positive spin. With several of them, I became intrigued enough with the footage and the menu that I got together with a friend (pre-Covid) and tried them out. I was .... well, whelmed. Neither over nor under. The food was certainly respectable, delicious but in no way out of the ordinary. And certainly not worth the encomiums of praise it received on the show. Now I mostly stick with the recommendations of friends. "Kyma has great Greek food." and "Charm City is the shitz for burgers, but don't get the fries, get the onion rings." I am rarely disappointed since my friends and I have very similar taste in cuisines.

Marriage.

Love

Deep-dish Chicago pizza (and I'm a Chicagoan). Too often it is undercooked in the middle and/or burnt on the bottom. Even at its best, I'd still rather have a Neopolitan or Roman pizza.

In-n-Out Burger - overrated, basic, bland, boring, forgettable generic fare

r97 the problem is their burgers are pretty good (as long as you like the animal style sauce) but their fries just SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Even if you ask them to double fry them, because then they are hard greasy pieces of crap. the only way it ever works for me is if McD's and In N Out are right next to each other (it's a rarity).

R64 I totally agree. Concerts, on the other hand, are always better than I expect them to be. A few years back, for example, I groaned at being dragged to hear Frankie Valli but it was a blast.

r64 and r99 the best concert i've ever seen was last March (2020) Sarah MacClachlan, and i have seen her before. i've also seen Stevie Ray Vaugh, Paul McCartney (twice), Rod Stewart, Eric Clapton, Madonna, and several others. it was in a smaller forum and it was a birthday gift. it was amazing and i still think remember how amazing she was relating her stories and her songs to the audience.

Other concerts i've been too, NOT great. I used to think live performances SUCK.

R98 you type very, very fat.

And just like that R77 lost his gay card. Bitch, dime stores don't sell Dior and Chanel! Macy's does, it's maybe a middle class department store, not a dime store that sells Beyonce's latest fragrance for tweens! Some of you queens mystify me....don't you know ANY shop bottoms or queens who work in beauty and fashion? Jeez, I am a masc top and I know this shit from my exes.

10 dollar ice cream cones are a strange concept.

Five Guys here in London.

The bun is a manky doughy glob, the meat is dry and flavourless - all the extras make it good and the fries are excellent.

Favorite restaurants

Chill-fil-A.

I remember before ever eating at one everyone hyped it up so much like it was the best food on earth. When I finally ate there, all I could think was “THIS is what everyone was losing their sanity over?” I don’t get it to this day.

I've always thought that if you think sex is overrated, then you must be doing it wrong.

R17 I LOVE a good black bean burger, though I'm not vegetarian. Of course, I don't expect it to taste like meat. I'm still hunting for a really fantastic recipe.

[quote]I've always thought that if you think sex is overrated, then you must be doing it wrong.

Or you're just not very sexy. Not everyone is, you know...even gays.

Rough trade.

Jewish food. It's not bad, but it's got to be having grown up on it that makes people gush over how great it is. I've yet to have a bowl of matzo ball soup, challah, latke, gravlax or overpriced deli sandwich that made me wide eyed.

[quote] I've yet to have a bowl of matzo ball soup,

You haven't tried mine!

[quote] challah

Most of it is shite and commercially made.

I'm your opposite, R99, even against misgivings, I'm glad to see have seen drama or a sharp comedy in the theatre (though musicals really are NEVER as good as people claim.) Concerts though are always a disappointment for me; unless I can wrangle a seat at some impossible performance in a genuinely small room, they always leave me wishing I'd stayed home. It's some combination of performers past their prime, or too popular (an audience filled with people who remind that a shared musical taste is a shared nothing), performers blathering on with stories about some song, and stopping mid-song multiple times for some stupid repartee with the audience...the people whose music I like I tend to like in a good studio version, or a small, pared down performance that I will never see unless I catch them before they're big. The live thing just isn't magic for me.

Chasten Buttigieg. Fat. Jobless. Won't WORK. Won't Work OUT.....I am beginning to think Chaz is on the Buttigieg SuperPac Payroll....

[quote]I will see your cannoli and raise you a tiramisu. Both are the most overrated desserts and they're just not that great.

One of the best pieces of advice I have gotten from Datalounge is that tiramisu is best as a mid-afternoon pick-me-up, served with coffee, and not an after-dinner dessert. It's true!

R72, French home cooking, mainly stews and braises, are very good. The fancier restaurant dishes are never as impressive as I expect them to be, I agree with you there.

I had an uncle that used to go to Studio 54. Said it was boring, with overpriced drinks and full of Jewish matrons. He said its reputation was based on a few celebrity parties and not much else.

R111 How about a nice Beef Knish with mushroom and onion gravy? The filling should be shredded beef from the short-ribs. Kreplach anyone? Same delicious shredded short-rib meat as the Knish pastry, but inside a silky pierogie-like dumpling. Give Kasha Varnishkes a try too. Kasha with beef and mushrooms is equally delicious. It would appear you have only eaten popular deli offerings of Ashkenazi food. Have you had a good Cholent or Brisket lately?

R14 and R15 I'm with you as regards the American BBQ hype. I'd rather have an authentic Teriyaki grill dish myself.... loathe gloopy BBQ sauce in bottles.

Onto my utter disappointment... has to be the American recipes for Fetucinne Alfredo. I recently made this for my partner, as he had been begging me. Poor peoples' Pasta Bianco, or Pasta Burro is better. Sometimes less really IS more.

R111, gravlax isn't Jewish food. It's Scandinavian.

[quote]I had an uncle that used to go to Studio 54. Said it was boring, with overpriced drinks and full of Jewish matrons. He said its reputation was based on a few celebrity parties and not much else.

Not true. It was FANTASTIC!

Would the modern equivalent of a dime store fragrance be a TJ Maxx fragrance? Aramis, Drakkar, Polo flankers, etc.

Sex with a woman.

[quote]Jewish food. It's not bad, but it's got to be having grown up on it that makes people gush over how great it is. I've yet to have a bowl of matzo ball soup, challah, latke, gravlax or overpriced deli sandwich that made me wide eyed.

I never understood the hype over pastrami on rye. Pastrami just tastes like bitter roast beef IMO.

Uncut cock.

An evening of lesbian poetry.

Thimble museums.

Any musical group or song since 1990

[quote] Would the modern equivalent of a dime store fragrance be a TJ Maxx fragrance? Aramis, Drakkar, Polo flankers, etc.

I would say yes. Dime store fragrances to me would be places like Wal Mart, CVS, Walgreens, Target

diets

Double penetration.

Integrity.

OP, unless you are looking for a brain surgeon, the whole concept of "the best" is a ridiculous waste of time. Ranking things is always a fool's game and should always be avoided.

If you want to identify the excellent offerings in any category, establish criteria for rating them. A boast that a single ice cream parlor in your community is The Best only serves to distract you from the 9 others, or maybe more, that also are first rate.

How much better to spend the summer sampling 10+ great ice parlors, than to slavishly line up and pay obeisance to a spurious process claiming to identify named "The Best."

[quote] than to slavishly line up and pay obeisance to a spurious process

Mme Mary est arrivé.

Las Vegas

Caviar.

Everything on the Home Shopping Network

R118, you are right, my Jewish food experiences have mostly come from delis, but I was always with Jewish friends who would say "you have to get some xxx, it's the best!" And of course it didn't live up to the hype.

That said, I did go to a party where Jewish food was served, and I loved the knishes! I had the beef and mushroom you mentioned and also potato and onion, and loved both. I also liked the chocolate babka (is that considered Jewish?) and hamentasch. I should have clarified that not all Jewish food failed to be as good as advertised, but when your Jewish friends are gushing and pushing food that's just okay, it does make you think it's their memories that they love rather than the actual food!

R137 - I'll second that. There's a lot of hype around kosher delis and restaurants, but they're usually just OK. I think they have to somehow justify the high prices.

I'll add holiday turkeys to the list. Sure, some aren't dry, but even with the best preparation, it's limited and is only good as a protein base (in my opinion) to mix with and compliment the side dishes. But people will always say - Oh, but you haven't had MY TURKEY! And then you taste it and think - this is average, how did you used to torture this bird before you came up with this preparation?

All of the pomp and circumstance about bringing out this big giant brown bird when in reality, the side dishes are what make or break these holiday dinners. This isn't the same when you serve steak, chicken, lamb or pork. You can eat those with limited or unflavorful side dishes (white rice, green beans) and you're still fine. But Turkey needs every bit of assistance it can get.

[quote]But people will always say - Oh, but you haven't had MY TURKEY!

Same for me with pumpkin pie and Brussels sprouts. No, I just don't like pumpkin pie or Brussels sprouts, no matter who makes them.

People's cars. May the force be with you if you get stuck in a conversation (usually a straight bro) going on about his car model, all of its amazing features, engine. Or just any type of gear in general. Gearheads can talk for hours about it with like-minded people.

Cock sucking skills. LOTS of boasting about this, but then you get your dick chewed up by a bunch of teeth the cock sucker has not learned to manage.

Real estate listings. To find a listing that has good style AND is reasonably priced is like finding a unicorn.

Most people's DIY projects - I did it myself! Yeah, I can tell.

Most American food and Mexican food

Cocksucking skills is a good one, R141. So many on Grindr etc declare themselves expert suckers. The problem is they confuse enthusiasm with skill.

Sales Puffery, R144.

Only places in Italy can claim to have the best ice cream. I could eat gelato at every meal. Yummy! Ice cream sucks in US.

A professional massage (non-sexual). The massage therapists never really knead into my shoulders and feet the way I'd like. Possibly b/c I'm thin, they think I can't handle it, but I have told every massage therapist that I can handle a harder massage.

OTOH, I had a facial once and the aesthetician massaged the front of my neck (sounds weird) and it felt amazing.

Also have had a nice scalp massage at a hair salon (during the shampoo). Didn't last long enough, though.

All diet/low-fat/low-carb versions of actual foods

Oxycontin was like that for me……it was good when it started ……..but it had a mean downside.

Houston AND ESPECIALLY Austin

I was never all that crazy about Tate’s cookies.

R47- So it was a shotgun marriage/birthday party?

Ditto R151

Not a big cookie lover in general, but Tates seem hard and dry

R148- FUCKIN SNACKWELLS!

R146 - you do know that gelato and ice cream are different things, right?

R79- My best friends mother is a travel agent. When they were little, his parents took him and his 2 sisters to Carowinds on a freebie travel agent trip. They told him it was Disney. He found out when he was 23. If I ever have kids, I’m doing the same thing. Or maybe Busch gardens. I can drink all day and they can run amok for much much less.

Spaghetti 🍝 sauce recipes own this thread. Each and every “best” spaghetti sauce recipe I’ve tried has been underwhelming as hell, even the ones where they swear simmering for hours makes it excellent.🙄 It doesn’t.

R65- Hold my beer.

R137- is a knish like a perogi?

Thicker crust R159

Clam chowder. Underwhelming. Must be a New England thing.

R157 - Agreed. People and their homemade pasta sauces are annoying and never live up to their claims. It's HOMEMADE! Well, you just wasted a lot of time then - you could have added a few ingredients to a canned sauce and it would have been better.

Same goes with Christmas cookies.

Oh and New York hotdogs are nothing special either - even the grilled ones. They're really just like any other hot dogs anywhere else, but New Yorkers think that dirty water and a Sabrett umbrella makes them fabulous.

R121- anything you can buy at a big box chain store/ drug store. Not quite as low brow as parfums de coeur but close. Think “celeb” scents, anything by Coty… Target has some good ones though. And their candles! The threshold ones are on sale now for FIVE bucks for a 3 wick-soy, great packaging, lasting scent!

Also Halo Top R154

R164 - agreed Halo Top needs to go out of business. It's just offensive to your mouth. There are several other brands that have made much better low cal 'healthy' ice cream since Halo Top debuted.

I have a fat friend who eats all of that crap R165, which is why I've been forced to try it, and no matter how many times I tell her she'd be better off eating say, real ice cream, only less of it, it goes in one ear and out the other.

#Marketing

R166 - actually some are pretty good. But not Halo Top.

Fuck Halo Top. That shit is awful.

Just do this. It's easy and the result is good.

Use your favorite sugar substitute and it will also be keto-riffic.

R164- 154 here and YES! Halo Top is like flavored ice. Do they still make Tofutti? I read Liz Taylor’s weight loss book as a kid and I was always fascinated by her Tofutti obsession. Anyone tried it?

Keto cookie dough! Vomit.

How about a thread where you found something as good as people say though it happens so rarely. But it does happen.

[quote]I will see your cannoli and raise you a tiramisu. Both are the most overrated desserts and they're just not that great.

Italian desserts and pastries in general are kind of boring.

The musicals Hamilton, Rent and The Producers.

A lot of people don't drink coffee or like anything coffee-flavored, which makes Tiramisu a niche product.

It gained trendy mainstream credibility with the Food & Wine crowd when Rob Reiner wrote about how the dating scene had changed in Sleepless in Seattle: "What is tiramisu?" / "You'll find out."

Diners. I hate all of them.

They all have voluminous menus but the food is always meh

Italian and Chinese desserts are dry.

Except for Tiramisu, which can be wonderful if done correctly—and I’ve only have perfect tiramisu about 3 times in my life

Pussy

Calamari. Every time I say I don't like Calamari I hear "oh you have never had good Calamari" to which I reply - "I had it in 3 Michelin star restaurants, I have had it in Parm, Osteria Cutta, and Serafina Always in NYC. I have given it my best shot. It takes like fired rubber.

Most seafood is shit.

R172 - yeah, it's like Italians think that after all of these great food courses, you're STILL hungry? Here's an espresso and a sprinkle cookie you beast, now shut the fuck up. They just don't seem to care about desserts.

R178 - I feel the same way about shrimp. It's rubbery seabug meat that doesn't taste like anything. If you do taste something, it's usually the butter, garlic and other seasonings. But then again, I don't like shellfish in general. It's a lot of work and a big to-do over sea bugs and sea roaches. Lobsters and oysters used to be poor people's food - given to prisoners or used to fertilize crops because it was considered inedible.

Muffins and cupcakes.

Crabcakes.

Watching a movie in a theatre.

Hosting houseguests and being a houseguest.

Sitting at a bar.

R175, I *love* a good old fashioned greasy spoon type Diner. Their griddles are so well seasoned, and I'm a huge breakfast fan. More specifically, home fries. I will often order an extra side of them as well.

Any time I'm in a big city, those are the first places I seek out.

At least most people (I assume) devein shrimp. Have you ever had real Louisiana crawfish boil? They don't even bother to de-shit those nasty mudbugs.

R183 - yes, I have had crawfish many times in Louisiana. The spices actually make it taste really good and it's one of the only shellfish that I like to eat. But yeah, that sucking of the head and the shitty veins are disgusting.

Many people don't know what that light brown stuff is - when you tell them it's bug shit, they don't believe you.

No kidding, I read about some process for de-pooping crawfish that LSU or somebody developed. Basically they starved them out and changed the water a lot until they were clean, but nobody has ever bothered with it.

I'm not complaining in the SLIGHTEST mind you. I love this thread. I also love all of my fellow fat whores who can turn just about any thread into a food thread. Waiting to see all of you over at the Miami condo collapse any time now.

"The Miami food scene is tragically overrated"

"You haven't been to the right place"

"Why am I suddenly hungry for pancakes?"

I'll agree about crab cakes. Never really good and I do like crab. My sister claims she makes really good crab cakes but I haven't tasted hers.

Baked macaroni and cheese can be a huge disappointment (dry). My sister does make a good baked macaroni and cheese that's not dry. So, maybe her crab cakes are good. Who knows.

Any and all modern musicals. I HAVE to see Hamilton, you say? Ok. Yikes, why did I sit through this claptrap? Musicals used to be artfully constructed to tell a somewhat complex story, with characters you found compelling, and the songs used to fit within the context to serve the narrative. It wasn't a bunch of songs with a stupid narrative stringing them together.

Nowadays, these are all 'sing song ding dong bing bong look at me look at me bing bong'...and for no reason that serves the story at all, and, the performers are all the same - brash, self-impressed, loud, obviously performative of only one very simple emotion, and the nasal scooping that they do with their vocals, it's all very fake sounding.

Agree about Chik Fil A. I have boycotted them as a good does, forever and ever. But there was this one time I had to make a flight connection, and the only choice I had for airport food was Chik Fil A. I thought, ok, just this once, I will get to know the enemy, and order what they all do....that chicken sandwich with the pickle.

It was very bland, I could barely taste the pickle (what is the point?), and the bread wasn't special at all. I would have been more impressed if they had a southern style biscuit sandwich, with a good ratio of mayo, and several pickles. That I would eat, and I can just make that at home, come to think of it.

But yeah, I left there feeling pretty nonplussed, and it's certainly easy to continue my gay boycott of the establishment.

Pedicures.

I have tried a couple of times to get into these, at my own convenience. While it's fun to sit in a comfy chair and have a foot bath, once they start working on you, it's alternatively ticklish and painful, and I don't ever see any improvement to my feet. What the hell is the allure here, for a guy?

Concerts can be surprising. Laugh if you like, but I got discounted tickets to see Michael McDonald and it was a really good concert. I love his voice. His wife was one of his background singers.

I've seen Elvis Costello 3X. The first time -- horrible. People heckling him and him being surly. The 2nd and 3rd times (Elvis C.), awesome. Really enjoyable.

I also saw the Pointer Sisters long, long ago (free tickets). Really good singers!

[quote] Musicals used to be artfully constructed to tell a somewhat complex story, with characters you found compelling, and the songs used to fit within the context to serve the narrative. It wasn't a bunch of songs with a stupid narrative stringing them together.

Don’t throw away your shot, r188! Just like your country be young, scrappy and hungry!

Bottle Service at a club.

You wait forever for your drink, and are at the mercy of this overworked barmaid, who is certainly not giving you extra attention for all the extra cash you pay. I'd rather just go up to the bar - at least I'm taking my destiny in my own hands.

Karaoke. It can be fun at times, but usually you have to sit through a TON of ballads, all of them way too long and not revealing anything in the way of talent. And, anyone who IS talented is a real showboat about it, and everyone is supposed to worship them.

Hamilton. There I said it.

The Shape of Water, The Artist, 12 Years a Slave, Titanic, The Sting and A Beautiful Mind to name a few.

I'm glad to hear that Hamilton isn't worth it. My ex-boyfriend has mentioned more than once that it was sooooooo good. I'm happy to hear i'm not missing much.

Yes, this thread made me hungry and i ordered Chinese for delivery.

Stouffer's totally own's Mac & Cheese. I've yet to try anyone's home made recipes that come anywhere near close.

Somebody was raving about some Stouffer's frozen dish here so I tried it. It was no better than On-Cor. And On-Cor is shit. Though I do like their crappy Salisbury steaks though I don't think you should try them.

Christine Baranski

Anal sex

[Quote] I'm glad to hear that Hamilton isn't worth it. My ex-boyfriend has mentioned more than once that it was sooooooo good. I'm happy to hear i'm not missing much.

Don’t listen to cranky DLers, It’s pretty great.

Watch it on Disney+ If you don’t want to go to the theatre to see it. The original cast is amazing

The Chinese food i ordered. I can't recall the last time I just refused to eat something from a restaurant, but this was intensely sweet (was supposed to be stir fried beef with tomato and other vegetables. What i received was some sort of tomato soup with a ton of onions, a few pieces of red bell pepper and big, tough pieces of beef. No rice. After attempting to salvage it by adding a ton of Tamari sauce, i threw it out. it was horrible.

Gross, R203 I condole you.

Chinese food is getting sweeter and sweeter. I've noticed this myself. If I want sweet, I'll eat Filipino food. It's one thing if I'm ordering sweet and sour pork for an obvious example, but a couple of weeks ago I ordered Mongolian beef and it was a tragic pile of sweet (why?) yet flavorless gristle. Also when did EVERY single fucking dish start to include bell peppers?

[quote] Stouffer's totally own's Mac & Cheese. I've yet to try anyone's home made recipes that come anywhere near close.

I tried Stouffer's mac and cheese, finally, after hearing so much about it. Disappointed. Maybe it's one of those things you have start eating when you're young to develop that taste memory.

Thanks r204. I'm condoling myself with multiple glasses of wine. I would have enjoyed Panda Express 1000+ more than the shit I ordered.

John Legend and John Mayer

I am glad I am not the only one who was underwhelmed by Hamilton. I'm not a big fan of musicals in general though.

The only thing I found entertaining about Hamilton was King George III and his spittle. The rest was lame...although I do admire the attempt to present history in a non-traditional format.

all beauty creams. Retin A is good, however.

Dimestore fragrances is an old term, interchangeable with drug-store fragrances, though the latter was never accurate because pharmacies could and still do carry a range of fragrance from mass market crap to Chanel, depending on the location and the country.

Woolworth and Kresge were true "dime stores". There were brands of fragrances that sold at such places, to the working class women. Evening in Paris was a dime store brand.

Camping. Too "damp"--- the air; the ground; the foliage; one's body. Feh!

Shakespeare on stage (and I've seen a few, including in Stratford-Upon-Avon, plus taught a few). Too difficult to grasp all the dialogue.

Craft shows. Too much wood, pottery, soap, and earrings for pierced ears.

[quote]Things that are NEVER as good as people claim.

I keep telling them that.

Sharon Stone movies

[quote] Craft shows. Too much wood, pottery, soap, and earrings for pierced ears.

They're called "craft fairs" in my area. (Some call them "crap fairs.") Agree there's a lot of crap at these events. I once volunteered to work (cashier) at a craft fair that was right before Christmas. (It was for a Buddhist temple where I had taken classes.) Anyway, the "parishioners" spent surprising amounts of money at this craft fair. Yes, it was right before Christmas & people were probably buying Christmas presents. It also made me realize that the parishioners were pretty wealthy at that Buddhist temple.

"______, the Venice of _______", is never Venice and never really interesting.

"______, the Harvard of _______", never has the swagger and scope of Harvard.

"______, the Paris of ________", c'est toujours décevant.

IMO, Las Vegas. I've been there several times.

The second time I went was the best trip. I was really young and I was there with a group of friends my age. We played blackjack on the same table and saw (don't laugh) Siegfried and Roy. What made it fun was that it was the first time to LV for many in my group.

However, the other times I've been to LV, not amazing. The Strip during the day is very disappointing. It's like seeing Oz behind the curtain.

Eating al fresco. Traffic noise, too hot, sun in my eyes, too close to others, wobbly table, wobbly chair. No thanks, I’ll take the climate controlled indoors please.

I was in Trastevere on a hot night in August and the outdoor tables of a restaurant where we wanted to eat were filled and I would have rather died than eat with them. My friend and I went inside and we were the only ones. The air-conditioning was heavenly.

[quote] Eating al fresco. Traffic noise, too hot, sun in my eyes, too close to others, wobbly table, wobbly chair. No thanks, I’ll take the climate controlled indoors please.

Agree.

Outdoor space in a high-rise building is usually not so great, either. I lived in a high rise with some nice mountain and city views. I never used my outdoor space. I was renting. Most owner-occupants had enclosed their outdoor space (to make it part of the indoor space). This was allowed at the building.

Having sex with a good looking guy.

Well there are good looking guys who are great sex.

M.

A South Florida condo in the sky. Or parking lot.

A fart

Foreskins.

R187- Thank you for calling it Macaroni and cheese and NOT Mac and Cheese.

I don't like M&C but family members who do say that Trader Joe's zappable version is really really good.

r187 Another thanks from me.

R226 I fucking HATE this "Mac and Cheese" thing, I don't know when it started, but now it's everywhere. Is the word macaroni hard to spell? No, it is not.

God knows there are more important things to moan about but this is nails on a chalkboard to me.

When I was little my grandmother would make me macaroni and cheese but hers was macaroni with cottage cheese , cinnamon and sugar. It was good too.

Wow - to think some of you can get your feathers ruffled over using mac and cheese instead of macaroni and cheese. I think you guys need to choose your battles more carefully.

Is PB&J triggering? Veggies?

r229, that sounds like the sweet version of noodle kugel.

Yes to both, actually, and I already admitted there are bigger things to moan about r230

Pointless bitchery and all that.

R231- We called it Noodle Pudding and my mother would put fruit cocktail in it. I made my own version years later but used a recipe that called for apples.

Sometimes when there were no cookies in the house I would open up a can of fruit cocktail and mix it with cottage cheese- what a 1970's thing to eat.

Sex with a WOMAN.

Blowjobs

Beyonce

Relationships

Family vacations and reunions

Drake

Garth Brooks

Most music festivals

MBAs

Marrakesh. The stench, the heat. That's the last time I ever set foot in a toilet bowl in Northern Africa. I mean, how dare they spit at me! A nation that has a pillowcase with a slit in it as a national costume.

Simon Cowell is sad and pathetic and lost his edge years ago....I stopped watching AGT when Howard Stern left but the other day I caught the tail end and he really looks sickly and giving bad singers a "thumbs up" when he would have verbally eviscerated them years ago. How sad these clowns like Simon will sell out for a paycheck and clutching to their last ounce of fame. ....Video of BIsimon being called Gay.....LoL

R229 I have a Slovak friend who makes that dish. She adds butter to it. I find it's good without the sugar.

R239, "[F]or a paycheck"?!

Simon Cowell OWNS THE SHOW!

Speaking of Simon Cowell, almost every finalist on American Idol are solid 7's at best and aren't really THAT talented. There have been a couple exceptions, of course. But The Voice has much better talent.

Most Chinese (outside of Chinatowns) and Thai American restaurants are also just OK. Same dishes over and over with the same preparations - it is really rare that they elevate their food. However, you read all of the reviews and people act like it's the most outstanding fare they've ever eaten.

R242, agreed. You have to find the hole-in-the-wall places to find the authentic stuff. That's the case here in Chicago. I will say it is much, much easier to find very good or great East and Southeast Asian food in California or Seattle.

America (sort of) owns this thread.

Futons. Every host feels it’s important to tell you that—unlike others’ futons—theirs is comfortable. Bullshit. It’s just boards with a flimsy upholstered mat, with a slightly raised center board that will be guaranteed to hurt your back.

Movies by Steven Spielberg.

Self help books. They spend 3/4th of the book either thanking others or explaining how great your life will be!

I read the negative reviews before considering buying any self help books and they’re always dead on.

[quote]Is PB&J triggering? Veggies?

Is any word more triggering than "veggies"?

I don't understand why "mac and cheese" is so offensive. I do understand why "veggies" and "brekkie" are offensive, though. If you said "macky and cheese," then, yes, that's offensive.

buzzkill threads

Mediterranean beaches.

Felching.

R241 = Yes I knew that. Howard Stern feuded with Simon when Simon tried to boot Howard early from his contract. Simon is a HAS BEEN. Pathetic. Can't even keep his balance anymore. He was once the ultimate mean judge and now he is a sad old timer who stayed around too long.

[quote]I still haven't had a cronut. I certainly wouldn't stand in line for one. Are they still popular? And that good?

Each month has a new flavor. It sort of depends on the flavor. Some are good and some not. The pastry part is nothing special.

Never had a cronut and I'm not interested in trying it. I figure it's a flash in the pan thing.

Losing your VIRGINITY

The Catholic Church.

Instead of a cronut, try a kouign amann pastry. So good.

Mac and cheese is so commonplace that macaroni and cheese sounds odd and somewhat formal.

Veggies and brekkie sound like things you'd say to a toddler.

But this is Datalounge, where the thought of summer feet in flip flops sets Eldergay parseltongues a-hissing

Guys who have never been to Massage School and try to talk you into a "free" massage because they think they have skills. Trust me. I am School Trained Certified Massage Therapist. You aren't. And NO I didn't spend thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours of classroom time so I could trade your freebie bad massage for my expensive skilled massage, and the fact you think I would shows you have a level of retardation that I certainly am not interested in knowing or touching. That's like you going to McDonalds and offering to cook the cashier a "delicious" burger if they give you a free one.

I feel like i've seen that kind of pastry before (maybe even had it), but it was under a different name.

R259-, NOT flip flops

THONGS

Donut walls at weddings.

wtf is a donut wall?

I just googled. What a fucking repulsive concept.

Elizabeth Windsor's reign as Queen of the United Kingdom.

R258- My local Whole Foods sells those made at a bakery in New Jersey. They're ok. Nothing to have an ORGASM over. The same bakery from NJ also sells Almond Croissants at my Whole Foods - Those are GOOD.

r117's uncle could have visited in the 80s when a lot of the fun of Studio 54 was long gone and it became just another night club living on it's reputation.

R268- The ORIGINAL Studio 54 had a STRICT door policy when it opened in April 1977. It was raided for tax fraud etc and shut down in December 1979. It reopened in the winter of 1981 , but the door policy was no longer strict which tarnished the image of the place.

r265 that's so white trash disgusting.

[quote][R137]- is a knish like a perogi? —I’m in SC, no Jews here

Think of a knish as mashed potato wrapped in cornbread and a pierogi as mashed potato wrapped in a pasta noodle.

Datalounge

I've never, ever heard anyone claim that a "donut wall" was a good thing.

Homer would!

pierogies are amazing, mashed potato kind, fried in butter, but especially when they are homemade by Polish grandmothers. Perfectly accompanies polish sausage, but absolutely delicious on their own.

Queens who post "reaction" videos....

Mad Men

Is Dr. Mike a HOMO?

Most cake is not worth the calories.

My husbear calls himself the donut wall and I had know idea what he meant until now! I though it was just because he is on the larger side. Do you think he's cheating?!?!?!

Anything Graham Bensinger does....I never thought Tony Romo could be gay until I saw this interview...They look like a gay couple leaving a romantic Fire Island brunch...

Everything bagels. All the seeds that get stuck everywhere. I prefer the onion bagels that have the small soft onion pieces INSIDE the bagel, not on the outside to get burnt when you toast them. Same with garlic bagels.

Bill Clinton's dick

R282 - good point. "Everything" on anything is just too much and masks the flavor of the original item you're buying.

And this is going to get me into trouble - but I'm going to add to the list and say New York City since 2000.

Oh - and the Hamptons. It's just a vacation area with a lot of rich people and poseurs. The thirst in that area is drier than the Sahara.

Buffets (self-serve, all you can eat). I'd rather order off a menu.

r285 right, i'm with you.

^ I'd rather eat off a plate

Farmers' Markets

Rap music.

multi day festivals. one day is enough.

Let me blow this thread up:

Indian tech workers.

Trans women who people say you could never tell.

Gay hairdressers.

xxl, enormous cocks. extra-large is better.

R253,,You continue to be nonsensical. First of all, SC is no more a "has been" than HS, the former still judging on BGT.

But more to my point, your comment is akin to saying "Jeff Bezos is a has-been," or "Elon Musk is a has-been."

Simon Cowell is a "still-relevant" because he makes his multi-millions from OWNING POPULAR TV SHOWS, PRODUCING IMMENSELY POPULAR MUSICAL ACTS, and so on.

You really haven't let that sink in.

R289- Place a C in front of rap then you have

CRAP

Expensive specialty roasted coffee. It can cost 3x the price of the entry level offerings. Most of which make perfectly satisfactory coffee. You're not an aficionado just because you pay three times more for the fucking coffee.

For the legions of DL Aldi fans, the Simply Nature Fair Trade Organic Whole Bean Coffee from Peru is really good. There is another variety from Honduras. It's fine, but I prefer the Peruvian. I grind it each morning and brew it in my french press pot. It's really good. There's not a nickel's worth of difference between this one, freshly ground and brewed, and the $15 a pound coffee at the local food co-op.

[quote]Expensive specialty roasted coffee. It can cost 3x the price of the entry level offerings. Most of which make perfectly satisfactory coffee. You're not an aficionado just because you pay three times more for the fucking coffee.

I don't even bother grinding my own anymore. I buy Peet's Major Dickason's Blend, pre-ground, usually when it's on sale at my local supermarket chain. I don't know if my tastebuds have aged out or what, but grinding my own no longer tastes any better to me. And I used to be something of a purist.

When the boxes and the budgets were reduced, "Mac" fit both better than the longer and thus more expensive "Macaroni."

It's the same consideration for companies' advertising and logos to eliminate ampersands, end punctuation, capitalization, etc.

R296, I grind my coffee with one of these. It makes me work for it a bit. More than once it has prompted me not to go for that 2nd pot.

[quote] I prefer the onion bagels that have the small soft onion pieces INSIDE the bagel

Are you referring to bialys? I find bialys to be superior to bagels, which nowadays are all terrible, even in NY.

[quote]I find bialys to be superior to bagels, which nowadays are all terrible, even in NY.

So true. NY no longer has good bagels. You can't find them anywhere.

Banana bread

GELATO

The 5 lesser Ivies

Swiss private clinics.

Prosecco

Owning a vineyard

Double penetration fucks

R299/R300 - good luck trying to find a good bialy outside of NYC. They exist, but if you think a good bagel is hard to find - many bagel places have never even heard of them.

They are superior to bagels IMO. But you'll have an easier time finding a unicorn that can do the electric slide in cha-cha heels than to score a bialy outside of a 50 mile radius of NYC.

Vidalia onions

Ahem, R308

Heterosexuality.

Child entertainers, particularly singers on talent shows.

I also hate when child actors are given award nominations. It isn't good for them - they will forever be compared to a performance when they were a kid and will wonder why the accolades and roles don't keep flowing their way.

Speaking of bagels, my ex was obsessed with bagels from Zabars in NYC and we live in LA. He would buy a massive amount on the day of departure, bring them back, and then freeze them. He thinks they are the best in the world and he's well traveled. I know there is a difference between frozen and not. We would always have a couple the day of when they are fresh. They are no better than the bagel places here. Zabars is like the Whole Foods for Jews and I don't think it is that great! It's also expensive!!!! I'm also half Jewish so I do have some authority on the matter.

Flan. If I had a nickel for every Latino that goes on and on about flan... I'm just not a fan of your giggly, coagulated version of creme brulee.

And that goes for tres leches cakes.

[quote] Zabars is like the Whole Foods for Jews

Perfect description of the place.

Napa and Tahoe. Sorry SF gays, but I just don't think these compare to places like Palm Springs or SoCal destinations. Napa is fine, but especially my girlfriends thought it was heaven on earth. It's fine, but pricey and nothing to get too excited about. Tahoe is another place that is fine and is a Bay Area scene, but Park City is better.

Tatum's performance in Paper Moon. Most overrated thing in the history of the world. Oh isn't it so adorable this little foul mouthed little girl in a tuxedo and pixie cut wins an Oscar! Jesus fucking christ obnoxious.

By the way those fucking Oscar voters who thought they were being so cute fucked over Madeline Kahn who OWNED that Oscar that year.

Well Karma got Tatum big time. Hollywood sure made a big mess of her life. Not that she deserved it but it sure does destroy certain people who it first overindulges.

R317 FAIL. That is ONE performance, one moment in the past. Not "THINGS". Plural. Things that are encountered many times.

Palm Springs.

No, i'm not talking about bialys, I'm talking about bagels that incorporate soft onion pieces INTO the bagel dough, not on the outside. Why is this hard to understand? I HATE the bagels that put that shit on the outside so it can get burned when toasted and thus fuck up a bagel with burnt onions. Or burnt "everything."

r320 I was thinking you were referring to bialy's too, I've never once had a bagel where the toppings, whatever they may be, are incorporated into the dough. That's simply not how bagels are made.

Perhaps an exception might be a raisin bagel, but that is one of the few I've never had as I am not big on raisins.

Is there a name of a shop you can think of that sells these? I'm intrigued.

I've made them myself, with the good bits incorporated into the dough and not on the outside r321, though bagels are a PITA to make and I only did it myself twice. I'm going to make myself sound stupid, but Lender's bagels also did this.

Screened-in porches

Japanese food. Looks great but aside from sushi, it tastes only okay

American fascists.

Patti LuPone

Someone might have said this earlier but I'm to lazy to check-

SOUL FOOD its just basically SLOP

Better than cajun....

fisting

r329 Tell me about it.

That is odd R313

I grew up on the UWS and Zabars is known for the smoked fish that you put on the bagels, not for the actual bagels themselves.

For that, you went down the block to H&H, which is unfortunately no longer there.

Zabars used to have a very large home goods department too, so more like a Jewish Whole Foods crossed with a Jewish Williams-Sonoma or BB&Beyond

[quote]Zabars used to have a very large home goods department too

They still do on the second floor.

Red Velvet Cake - just an excuse for people to eat cream cheese frosting

LOL, I knew that R332 - not sure why I wrote "used to" - I mean i even posted the link to it and it's far more extensive than what is at the link.

And I've only had one drink...

New York Shitty

Barak Obama

Robin Williams' standup routine

Jessica Lange's performance in Frances

BMWs

Pasta

Bacon. When did it become this thing people were losing their minds over. Also it’s on/ in far too many things now.

Bloody Marys with elaborate, “inventive” garnishes. No, I do not want to drink around a giant marrow bone. Ditto bacon, per above.

Expensive speciality vacuums for “pet hair,” etc. None of the ones I’ve tried are as effective as my ancient Electrolux, along with a shop vac for hard to reach places. Plus they’re always a pain to clean no matter what the advertisements say.

Anything starring Lucille Ball, with the exception of the first few scenes of Yours, Mine and Ours, and only then for the ludicrousness of seeing her paired with Henry Fonda.

r341. My partner and I were just talking about the great bacon craze that managed to drive bacon prices up to fucking porterhouse steak levels in some places around here.

That seems to have cooled down finally. For a while the whole "Put an egg on it" was hot too and I still see it lying in wait at certain restaurants. No, I don't want an fried egg on my BLT or my chicken sandwich, and dear god NOT on my tuna, you monsters. Same with pizza. Go away.

Judy Garland

Your cock - it smells like piss and funk

General Admission concerts.

Neighbors.

Sangria.

Cotton Candy. Fudge. Taffy. Everything else on a boardwalk, except French Fries.

Fourth of July

Jell-O Salads

New York City bagels and pizza

No bagels are as good as NYC.

Bagel are 400 calories each,

Bagels are for FAT WHORES.

Disneyland. I've always thought it was over priced and sucked. Unless with a Club 33 member, Disney is terrible. Childless gays, take that money and go to Europe. Learn something. Don't blow it Disney.

Poetry

[quote]Anything starring Lucille Ball, with the exception of...

The Fuller Brush Girl

Miss Grant Takes Richmond

The Long, Long Trailer

OP

French Food and German cars

Jack Mackenroth’s hole

R355, You're crazy!

England

R341/R342 - bacon sales were declining due to how unhealthy it was. The pork industry subsidized sales and recipes - plus the spent millions in marketing the product.

It was not 'organic' - it was tens of millions of dollars poured into a PR campaign to save the industry.

That's why I'm suspicious about how eggs, which are high in cholesterol, all of a sudden got this repackaging the last few years and that they are now a 'complete protein', which sounds like marketing speak to me.

New York City pizza - somehow they've laid claim to a thin crust pizza which has been served in other cities for decades as well. It's good - it's fine, but I don't know how this generic pizza is 'owned' by NYC.

It's like NYC hotdogs - they are indistinguishable from hot dogs in other areas of the country, yet they hold them up high like Simba in the Lion King.

This or that PNW IPA

Lady Gaga

Madonna's live performances

Lady Gaga sucks stinky eggs, I can't BEGIN to understand the love for her.

R260, "That's like you going to McDonalds and offering to cook the cashier a 'delicious' burger if they give you a free one."

No offense, but that's probably not the best analogy. You're basically just calling yourself a professional burger flipper.

Department store gift wrapping.

Tiktok recommendations

Tiktok

Breaking Bad

Tiramasu

Italian food in Italy (been to Rome twice - still prefer Italian American food in NY Little Italy)

Brokeback Mountain (kissing looked fake/forced with locked lips)

Seafood

*Tiramisu

Elsa Peretti jewelry designs.

Behold - the doughnut bangle. So chic, so simple, so subversive and yet so supremely elegant. One would be tempted to say it's just a thick silver circle. But of course that's what you peasants would think.

Far left politics.

Pizza

Not into brocialism, R372?

Oooooo, R371 hit the nail on the head. Elsa Peretti's sterling silver jewelry for Tiffany has usually been pointless, boring, clunky, unattractive, over-priced and no better than what can be found in the bridge jewelry department at Macy's.

R360, History matters, re: NYC thin-crust pizza origins.

R376 - the only thing in that article that makes "New York" style pizza different is the width of the slices. The rest of the ingredients are typical and common. The 'water' is questionable.

Listen, I like "NY" style pizza slices and have eaten many, many of them. They're good and folding the slice over is great for eating.

But is it really unique? It seems like the size is the biggest differential - and that's because of the density of NYC and people wanting a slice to go.

You can call it "NY sized" - that would make more sense. But it's pizza dough, tomato sauce and full-fat mozzarella - what do you think other pizzas across the country are made of?

Mac & Cheese! Mac & Cheese! Mac & Cheese!

R378 Never got the appeal of Mac & Cheese either. :/ It's barely a real meal in my eyes. But I also got introduced to it as an adult and I think for most it's also a cherished childhood memory, so there's that.

vegan substitute products

Having a clean house

Macarons. They look pretty. And then you take a bite and it's just chewy meringue.

R284 Moved out of NY in 2006 after 18 years living there and witnessed a decline in culture and civility and a rise in construction, traffic, Adderall zombies on their phones, noise, over-crowding and corporate chains. Broadway was filled with juke-box musicals and film adaptations and with the closing of The Roxy, The Tunnel, Splash, The Limelight . . the end of nightlife.

The 3 film versions of A Star Is Born (Garland, Streisand, Gaga)

[quote]OP: I live in a city which has 1,000 ice cream shops for some inexplicable reason

Um, because people like ice cream but are too lazy to make it themselves?

Ratatouille (too many soft textures).

Oh, R384....

Have I got news for you.

This is the best one, too.

R197 I didn't see the original cast of Hamilton on Broadway but after 30 or 40 mins I was bored. The choreography with much leaping about is on the level of a high school production and the ersatz hip hop songs aren't tuneful, memorable or distinctive one from the other. Utterly forgettable. Overhyped, over praised and over priced. And unlike West Side Story, Gypsy, My Fair Lady, Chicago . . .it won't be revived decade after decade.

Skin care products

R377, Too many skimp on the mozzarell' (heh) and add other cheeses. Hence those "4-Cheese" abominations.

R360 speaking of hot dogs, the Chicago style is nothing special either. A hotdog is a hotdog.

All those ten-inch-cocked guys who've been moving into New York City in the past year. YOU know.. Pleeeeez.

Krispy Kreme. Gross.

Pillow concierges

Cherry pie.

Threesomes

“Gay” New York.

AIDS slaughtered gay men in the arts, and gay men in general, as the breeders stood by and sneered. And the breeders swept in, even as we were dying, and took over. So the quality of gay creations died, along with the gay presence. As Broadway began to seem more like dinner theater on steroids, gay gathering places were shut down, or closed from lack of patrons. Gay neighborhoods have been subsumed.

So New York is no longer a gay destination.

And, frankly, I wouldn’t even recommend it as a place for younger gay generations. Go elsewhere, brothers. New York is no longer worth your energy.

We will persist, over time. But our time here is done.

Secret Santa-style gift-giving at Christmas.

Mimosas.

Watermelon

HOMEMADE pizza

R392 RU referring to the homeless?

Super-thin crust pizza.

Fiona Apple's music.

Any episode of

RPDR

Queer as Folk

Queer Eye

The Biden family

Social media.

Most butt plugs. They are extremely personal. A particular butt plug works for you, or it doesn't. There's not much 'in between' with butt plugs. What works for one person does not work for another. Recommendations are worthless. Sadly, shopping around for the right butt plugs gets to be very expensive.

FRIENDS

Crepes. What's the big deal. Very thin pancakes with fillings.

R410- and French food in general ( I know someone mentioned it much earlier in this thread but it bears repeating)

Mexican food

Presbyterians

Circumcised penises.