Pairings in erotic fan fiction you want to see, and don't want to see

The old Andy Griffith Show: Andy and Gomer might be an interesting duo, while Aunt Bee and Opie would be vomit-inducing.

Ugh, no shows pre- 2000’s

It would traumatize my childhood.

No Kirk/Spock

, Mulder/Krycheck/Skinner

Crockett/Tubbs

I started reading Clark/Lex slash and went from there.

I’ve read some Harry Potter, tons of LOTR,

Some other fandoms

Snape/Timotay

Pete Molloy and Jim Reed

Mike and Greg Brady

Ricky Ricardo and Freddy Fillmore

Don Draper and any hairy asshole

Ben Affleck's Batman with Brenton Thwaites' Robin/Nightwing. They've been my regular jo fantasy ever since the first episode of Titans

I'd definitely never want to pair Henry Cavill's Geralt with that annoying troubadour he travels with. I had high hopes for them when the show started but it didn't take long to realize they have practically zero chemistry.

See: Doug/Deacon from "King of Queens"

Don't see: Lucy/Mr. Mooney from "The Lucy Show."

Want: Harrison and Elliot from [italic]Leverage.[/italic]

Do not want: Debra and Marie from [italic]Everybody Loves Raymond[/italic].

^^HARDISON, not Harrison.

Fckin autocorrect.

Want/OTPs: Chilwell/Grealish (they’re that ‘modern’ married couple who have an open relationship but always put each other first); Stones/Ruben Dias (*cries*); Carragher/Gary Neville (wouldn’t put it past them to snog for real on live telly one of these days), and unrequited Scholes/Gary Neville/Becks (show me more Vintage English Buried-Pain Trio); Keane/Souness (Angry Soulmates); Lampard/Gerrard (Emo Soulmates); Ramos/Marcelo (just Good Vibes Soulmates); Schweinsteiger/Podolski (Angst); David James/Joe Hart (tears+This Club); Fowler/McManaman (YNWA😭); John Terry/Scott Parker (Eastenders); Jamie Redknapp/anyone (he’s a slag and he’s pretty, no further questions)

DNW/NOTPs: Guardiola/Mourinho (believe it or not there is already more than one such fanfic story in existence online—do yourselves a favour and never search ‘pepmou’); OGS/Gary Neville (Gaz has many better offers ok), and Gary/Phil Neville (just....no); Kane/Henderson (Hendo deserves more, plus Kane looks like Rodney off ONLY FOOLS & HORSES and I can’t get over that aesthetically); Lindelof/Maguire (no chemistry, professionally or erotically); Lloris/Son (people only ship thanks to that awful Spurs reality docsploitation); Pogba/Martial (Poggy’s indolence as a player drives me bonkers to watch so I just don’t like it on principle); Tevez/Torres (my little sister used to ship it—never understood it and never will); Pique/Ibrahimovic (that one famous and ridiculous pap photo actually was printed out of context); Benzema/Ronaldo (sick of hearing about either of them for football reasons, let alone together in a sexual situation); Pele/Maradona (this was seriously a thing once and it makes me want to commit arson); Harry Redknapp/anyone (including his poor wife who I’m sure longs for the sweet release of (his) death)

Want: Those two guys on Castle that were his fellow cops. They were hot together.

Don't want: Alice and Flo

On the next new season of COBRA KAI:

Yes—Johnny Lawrence x Daniel LaRusso

No—Johnny Lawrence & Carmen Diaz, Daniel LaRusso & his wife Amanda

I’m impressed r10 could take his hands off his dick long enough to type all that

Want-Michael/Sam from Burn Notice

Don't want-Mr. Roper/Mr. Furley from Three's Company

Want: Patty/Cathy from "The Patty Duke Show"

Don't want: Spence/Arthur from "King of Queens"

Want: Dorian Gray and Lord Hyde from 'Penny Dreadful'

Don't want: Larry David and Jeff Garlin from 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'

Want: Ryan Reynolds getting fisted, fucked, and destroyed by Anton LaVey

Don't Want: Angela Lansbury and Roseanne Barr

R8 made me want to throw up with his don't.

R8 and R18 what about Debra and Amy, or Marie and Lois???

R10 -- 267 stories (and counting) just for you. They are largely about current players, though.

No, thanks, R19; but you go on and enjoy!

Joss really fucked up the romantic pairings and sexual connections in BUFFY imo.

I’d have gone with:

✅ Faith/Buffy, Cordy/Harmony, Darla/Drusilla, Angel/Spike, Oz/Tara, dark!Willow/dark!Xander (it only works when they’re vamps, idk why), Giles/Anya, Riley/any of the guys in his squadron

❌ Buffy/Giles, Buffy/Spike, Spike/Harmony (it was morbidly fun to watch at first but then turned really offensive and uncomfortable), Willow/Tara (ditto), Warren/Andrew (ditto), Cordy/love & appreciation & dignity, Joyce or Dawn/anyone (just doesn’t seem right, plus they’re annoying and not entertaining)

Do: Tim O'Tay and Julian Morris

Don't: Tim O'Tay and BBQ Boy

Wow. Now I DO want a Mr Roeper-Mr Furley pairing!

Want: Will and Jack (Will & Grace), The Professor (Gilligan's Island) and Mike Brady, Carisi and Barba

Don't want: Mrs. Howell and Alice (Brady Bunch), Fred and Ethel

Jeff + Jimmmaaayyyy

Want: Starksy & Hutch

Don't Want: Cagney & Lacey

The Snoop Sisters.

Tom Corbett and Mrs. Livingston.

McHales Navy.

Chris Noth, Benjamin Bratt, and Jeremy Sisto.

Jerry Orbach is their pimp who owes Dennis Farina money. Steven Hill is Dennis Farina's boss.

Richard L. Brooks is the DA hot on their trail.

Want- Mike Ferrell and Wayne Rogers

Don't Want- Harry Morgan and Jamie Farr

Want-Trapper John and Gonzo

Don't Want- Norm Peterson and Cliff Clavin

Want-Joe Hackett and Maxwell Sheffield.

Don't want-Mr. Furley and anyone

I kinda want a Cliff-Norm, now that you mention it.

From Will & Grace:

Will and on-screen boyfriend Bobby Carnivale

Want: Dom Draper and Henry Francis from "Mad Men"

Don't want: Endora and Aunt Hagatha from "Bewitched"

[quote] Want: Starksy & Hutch

One of the best gay stories I've ever read is a Starsky and Hutch slash fic. Cost of Love by Alexis Rogers.

Want: Marlena Evans and Tracy Quartermain

Don't: Lucille March and Alice Horton

[quote]Want/OTPs: Chilwell/Grealish

I love you r10

^^Jack Grealish is just a slag in general. Don’t think he’s that particular about the equipment of anyone he cops off with.

Barney Miller and Fish

Oh, stop, R50.

Barney & WOJO!!!!!!!!

Sorry… Stop, R40

ANY hairy asshole, R5?

Derek Hale and Geralt

A three way with Mrs. Oleson, Mary Ingalls, and Hester Sue