[quote] “I guess I began to resent food around this time,” Audrey quotes.
“That’s a strange thing to say about food -‘I resent it.’ You eat it, don’t eat it, like it, dislike it. But resent it?’
I actually got angry with it for being so difficult to come by and tasting so awful. I decided to master food; I told myself I didn’t need it. Audrey Hepburn Anorexia
I could sense it caused my mother great pain not to provide my brothers and me with the well-balanced and beautifully served meals she was used to, so I felt I could eliminate her problem by denying I missed the good things we used to eat. Of course, I took it to an extreme. I forced myself to eliminate the need for food. I closed my eyes to the fact that I was starving.”
“Jan (her brother) was the most hungry,” Audrey recalled. “That was clear. He’d sometimes hold his stomach and cry for food. I couldn’t stand another minute of it. I suppose Mother was hungry too but she was too sad to notice. I, on the other hand, was sure I wasn’t hungry. I had that one beaten. The only thing I knew was that I had to take care of them, so I devised this outlandish plan to make money.”
She then gave ballet lessons to young girls much like herself.
During the war, she survived on a bit of lettuce, the occasional potato and awful bread. Later on, she simply lived on tulip bulbs and water. She was painfully thin.
Even her janitors was chastising her about not eating with love. He said, “I was saving this red ball of Edam cheese for a real emergency and you are it!” Audrey Hepburn Anorexia
Audrey said, “just a small piece revived me; I tried some more but became sick to my stomach. My body chemistry changed during the years of deprivation, but my mind was also playing tricks.”
“If there is no food, I said to myself, then I’m not going to need what I can’t have. It was one of my first attempts at mind over matter, and at the time, I thought I was doing a great job.” [/quote]