How do you guys feel about instagays or the so called a gays?

I will never look like them, have a body like them or date anyone who looks like them. So I just think of where they will be in 10 years, when they lose their looks and their cliques and realise they haven't invested anything worthwhile in themselves, not career-wise, relationship-wise or friendship-wise. I think of them realising that their only legacies on this earth would be their semi-permanent uneven patches of tan on their skin and their bleached prolapsed bussies, and it warms my cold dead heart.

We've already seen these types age and I have to say that many of them turn out alright, much to my frustration. A-list gays in my city, Chicago, are typically from two tracks good jobs that pay well enough for a 20-something ($70k ++) or something that keeps them active like an instructor at Berry's Chicago. It costs money to stay in the A-list. You usually go to a nicer gym that at least has a pool or a big name (again Barry's or Equinox) or the popular FFC or LAC. You're clothes need to be in style. not hard once you build up a good base but they know how to dress for their body. Going out, Ubers, mini vacations, concerts, drinks, dinner, and decorating their place a bit cost money.

So I find that most of them turn out just fine because they typically have college degrees and are excelling in their careers while climbing up the gay social ladder in their private lives. To them, hanging out with other hit guys is normal. Their friendships are actually as deep or shallow as the friendships for "normal" gays but they know that when they go out to a bar or club, they can get the attention of 90% of the guys in the room.

But being white and attractive means you should be succeeding in life. At least in America, since this country was built to rim the hell out of white mens' assholes.

Also, these guys are just normal guys when you get them one-on-one for a conversation. Just people. In public, don't be supposed if they act like a diva or like a god that graced your presence from Mounty Olympus. they can be bitches when there is an audience and their friends are around to judge.

^Mount Olympus

It says a lot about gay men that you are actually aware of these people and their habits.

"Let's talk about A-Straights" said no one ever.

r4 has never heard of the billions in profits made via celebrity entertainment. Gays weren't allowed in those spaces or with the same type of power. Social media created its own community regarding a new set of gay "celebrities" or "plastics" if this was Mean Girls. Straight people are also worshiped on social media outside of celebs like those TikTok influencers houses and their drama which is followed like crazy by teenagers.

Straight people also have differnt lifestyles after at least 30. They have children or marriages and retreat from the social scenes. Gay's don't and we have a smaller community so you see the same people and the same patters of pretty (white) worship.

Unicorns

I look at pictures of these conventionally handsome men, with perfect bodies, going to exotic places, flying first/business class, likely having plenty of hot sex with each other, and definitely my first instinct is envy. But I realise that it's all very shallow, and that social media is NOT an accurate representation of real life, and they specifically curate an idealised version of their lives, and if they were REALLY having that much fun and being happy, they wouldn't have this near-pathological need to constantly post on social media, and keep up appearances, and all of that type of bullshit that I don't get involved with at all - and it makes me feel better.

Whether I'm deluding myself or not, I would hate to place all of my self esteem and self worth on what strangers online think of me, and feel that pressure to look a certain way, and have a specific lifestyle etc. I'm just me, I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me, and I don't waste too much time comparing myself to others - I'm happy. That's all that matters.

Forgot to add, straight people retreat into their little married bubbles. Whether it's the country, suburbs, or the city they also closely follow the habits or adventures of their A-list couples in their circles. I've seen the mom's battle it out via a cold war spending on children's clothes, private schools, cars, or vacations. I've also spent time in a church community (closet days) the competition to remain in the in-crowd of hip young families was real. That conformity we see with A-list gays is the same shit straight people go through. They won't say stuff in overt terms but there is always a couple or two that's the prettiest with the most perfect family that other couples (or at least their wives) envy and try to out-do.

It's even worse in the city because the prices and ways of showing off only increase. People are people at the end of the day so straight gay we al have those we look towards with envy, contempt or feigned indifference.

I think OP has very balanced, thoughtful commentary.

My follow up question to the eldergays of DL is this: what was the instagay scene/dynamic like BEFORE the advent of social media? Guys like this have always been around, so how did they telegraph their status to strangers prior? I would assume it was the "see and be seen" roster of restaurants, clubs, house parties, vacations, etc.

Am I on the right track here?

Gays don't get married.

Fascinating.

Do we feel they should transition? Would that make people more comfortable?

R9, it was all about the VIP. There where separate entrances, ropes and separate vip areas where usually people could see who was in there. Sometimes there was an additional VVIP room but you couldn’t see into them.

Also the designer clothes, the attitude, above it all. Not bothered with the little people. Some more modest than others, but you didn’t have to question who was elite.

If you think about it back then there was the uptown gays and the downtown gays. They both had their A lists and there was some crossover, but these were two different worlds. They were distinct from each other. And one groups VIP could be persona non grata with the other group.

The uptown gays and the downtown gays had two completely different schedules. And different tastes and norms. You had to figure out who you best fit in with, and then each had sub groups from there.

Now they all merge together.

Fascinating r12. I'd like to know more about what is an uptown vs downtown gay. I assume, based on Billy Joel's song, that the uptown ones were the preppy guys and the downtown were the party boys? I could be way off. I also assume this is NYC focused.

Please share some more!