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For those of you, who are partnered, why have you not converted that into husband?

Is it because you know you are gonna leave him or he is gonna leave you?

by Anonymousreply 48June 9, 2021 9:20 PM

Marriage is a ludicrously outdated institution. There is absolutely no benefit to a man.

by Anonymousreply 1June 7, 2021 6:27 AM

You think marriage prevents someone from leaving???

by Anonymousreply 2June 7, 2021 6:29 AM

R1 sounds bitter as fuck.

by Anonymousreply 3June 7, 2021 6:31 AM

Marriage, organized religion, and all the other societal imposed superstitions from previous centuries can take a flying fuck. Gays shouldn't support this oppressive shit.

by Anonymousreply 4June 7, 2021 6:33 AM

I didn't grow up wanting to be a bride nor marry a bride. Neither did my partner. And wedding seem very much bride-centric. Which is cool. Nothing wrong with that. We're happy that gay marriage exists, but it's not for us.

by Anonymousreply 5June 7, 2021 6:35 AM

We found a lot of financial benefits to being married like spousal health insurance, survivorship benefits for pensions and not incurring an estate tax. And, it feels right to have the same benefits as straights.

by Anonymousreply 6June 7, 2021 6:42 AM

We have been together for nearly 25 years, and, because we could not legally marry, we had power of attorney set up, as well as wills, etc. to protect us. We watched our elders not be able to be by their partner's side when they died, and did not want that.

We haven't married, as it wasn't something we ever really cared about, being excluded for so long. Not a tradition for us, but maybe for our silver anniversary, as it means a little more to my partner than to me.

by Anonymousreply 7June 7, 2021 6:45 AM

Op is is the bitter one. R4 & 5 are entirely correct. My partner (boyfriend, lover…depending on which decade it was) and I have made it 37 years just fine by being self sufficient adults that depend on each other, while not being dependent on each other. We each own property separately and together, have our own insurance and wills/trusts that protect our interests/rights.

by Anonymousreply 8June 7, 2021 6:45 AM

We don't have any reason to get married. There's no family or social pressure and, like R7, all our paper work is sorted. If there were significant financial benefits or we needed it for immigration purposes I guess we would consider it but for the moment there's no real need.

by Anonymousreply 9June 7, 2021 7:24 AM

So basically most of the answers are deeply seeded commitment issue masqueraded as :"Oh we don't follow traditional convention."

by Anonymousreply 10June 7, 2021 9:12 PM

this August will make 10 years that my bf and I have been together, 5 years since he moved in. We decided that getting married wasn’t a thing for us. but now his female work friends are pestering him to get married on our 10 year anniversary. why i don’t know but it’s definitely a young female thing. I’m open to it, so it’s up in the air right now.

by Anonymousreply 11June 7, 2021 11:12 PM

Marriage in our society (unlike muslim) is solely to benefit women. There is zero need for two males to marry. Get your own insurance ans pension...it's not difficult. Why on earth would you willingly shackle yourself to another human..it's pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 12June 7, 2021 11:16 PM

That's how you interpret the majority of these replies, R10?

Not me. I don't read any deep seeded commitment issues at all. Quite the opposite. While it does seem most who replied have no burning desire or need to be married, most seem to enjoy being in committed relationships.

by Anonymousreply 13June 8, 2021 1:02 AM

R11 & R12, good observations and contributions. Op’s comment at R10 serve’s once again to prove that if we don’t assimilate into heteronormativity and female roles, that we are broken. He has agitated me and I know that is what his real intention was.

by Anonymousreply 14June 8, 2021 1:04 AM

Since I gave away the milk for free, he won't buy the cow.

by Anonymousreply 15June 8, 2021 1:06 AM

Well….marriage is a financial union. Unless you are willing to make a contract with another man and become financial intertwined I would say don’t get married until your ready for that commitment…..divorce can be very expensive

by Anonymousreply 16June 8, 2021 1:15 AM

We’ve been partnered for 17 years. I hate him at this point

by Anonymousreply 17June 8, 2021 2:26 AM

Ring shortage.

by Anonymousreply 18June 8, 2021 2:40 AM

25 years+ I’d love to tell you it’s simply bliss being married…but that’s not reality . Some men get restless in long term relationships Monogamy is a grand concept but not practical for long term relationships. Flexible fluid marriages have a better chance of surviving but both partners have to be onboard for an open relationship to work.

Don’t get married unless your ready to see it through. Otherwise it is too panful and way too costly to just walk away when the going gets tough.

by Anonymousreply 19June 8, 2021 6:50 AM

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

by Anonymousreply 20June 8, 2021 6:58 AM

[R15]

Don’t sell yourself short….finding good milk is a priceless commodity…..and once you do.. you wouldn’t want to lose it.

by Anonymousreply 21June 8, 2021 1:36 PM

R17 Ugh...he sounds horrible. How could you stand him in all those years?

by Anonymousreply 22June 8, 2021 5:48 PM

Marriage is a social construct, it’s so overrated

by Anonymousreply 23June 8, 2021 6:25 PM

Monogamy is overrated enough - screw marriage.

by Anonymousreply 24June 8, 2021 6:28 PM

Been partnered for 13 years but have no interest in commingling finances or property ownership. We hope for the best but things happen in real life.

by Anonymousreply 25June 8, 2021 6:29 PM

Except, domestic partnership is basically marriage without the name. Why don't you upgrade to full-on marriage R23?

by Anonymousreply 26June 8, 2021 6:30 PM

[R22]

they probably hate each other……financially melded together forever would be my guess

by Anonymousreply 27June 8, 2021 6:32 PM

Why would someone want to be married? Well, maybe for all of the legal benefits. But do go on about how simply being unofficially "partnered" is the same thing.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 28June 8, 2021 6:34 PM

ain’t no way out except to the poor farm…divorce makes people very fucking vindictive..all that love turns to hate in a heartbeat

by Anonymousreply 29June 8, 2021 6:35 PM

why haven’t I asked him to marry me? you ask…….just because I’m fuckin his ass ..doesn’t mean i want to commit to a life long arrangement…and I know what a little slut he can be…trust issues for sure

by Anonymousreply 30June 8, 2021 6:40 PM

R25 R29 So you know it is not gonna last, OK, interesting.

by Anonymousreply 31June 8, 2021 6:40 PM

some bottoms just can’t get enough ‘strange’ dick….always sneaking around ..telling you you’re the only top for them…little sex pig fucks

by Anonymousreply 32June 8, 2021 6:43 PM

toilet queen bitches

by Anonymousreply 33June 8, 2021 6:44 PM

pissed…damn right!

by Anonymousreply 34June 8, 2021 6:46 PM

Midwest Man, almost none of those apply to me and my partner. We both make good incomes, have created wills to protect our joint property, and generally won’t fit the role of a dependent 1950s-era widow that most of these protections assume. We’re not against it, it just hasn’t risen to the top of our to do list.

by Anonymousreply 35June 8, 2021 6:49 PM

Been together 30 years. And here is a little secret - you just say you're married and that's it. Hardly anyone questions it.

by Anonymousreply 36June 8, 2021 8:41 PM

Your partner does and sometimes, in the deepest, darkest nights, you do too, R36.

by Anonymousreply 37June 8, 2021 9:02 PM

And no one who in the history of Western civilization has ever questioned getting married, r37? What strange and nasty insinuation about a relationship you know nothing about.

by Anonymousreply 38June 8, 2021 9:41 PM

Together 21 years and we are never getting married. He's 62, I’m 48 Ain’t happening

by Anonymousreply 39June 8, 2021 9:52 PM

[quote] deeply seeded commitment issue

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 40June 8, 2021 10:08 PM

R40 I know what I typed.

by Anonymousreply 41June 8, 2021 10:52 PM

DL always amuses me with it's elitism. Not every same sex couple has access to income, benefits and credit to flourish in the world. It takes both partners to live a solid life. Plus inheritance and medical care issues are easier. Not everyone can afford to pay for wills, more taxes etc.

by Anonymousreply 42June 8, 2021 11:48 PM

Out=r tax guy told us we were better off tax-wise if we weren't married. We live in CA and are RDPs (Registered Domestic Partners), though.

by Anonymousreply 43June 9, 2021 12:12 AM

[quote]Marriage is a ludicrously outdated institution. There is absolutely no benefit to a man.

Outdated? Maybe. No benefits? Maybe not for you, but the advantages soon become evident if you're a binational couple.

In countries where same-sex marriage is recognized, immigration can be vastly easier in many countries for a married couple. To demonstrate a domestic partnership or an established, long-term relationship may be possible but with varying layers of additional evidence and scrutiny. Along with that go various legal rights, including survivor's rights like inheritance; access to national health care systems, a fast-track for citizenship; ease of buying property; etc. Generally, being married to a citizen of the country where you are moving makes things much easier.

by Anonymousreply 44June 9, 2021 9:49 AM

I love being able to file taxes jointly and to be able to move money between our accounts without having to pay attention to gifting. Also, homophobes don't get under my skin as much since we have full rights.

by Anonymousreply 45June 9, 2021 7:38 PM

If we get married, will I have to be truthful about my meth-fueled bathhouse weekends when I’m “traveling for work” ?

by Anonymousreply 46June 9, 2021 9:05 PM

Not being married has actually given us tax benefits—he qualified for the stimulus money while I didn’t. We would owe so much more in taxes if we combined taxes.

by Anonymousreply 47June 9, 2021 9:06 PM

When you get married you have to remember 2 things:

Tell your cub how much you appreciate him everyday And give him every inch of your love ..everyday need be..so he can feel your love And the rest just comes with time.

by Anonymousreply 48June 9, 2021 9:20 PM
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