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For those of you, who are partnered, why have you not converted that into husband?

Is it because you know you are gonna leave him or he is gonna leave you?

by Anonymousreply 4806/09/2021

Marriage is a ludicrously outdated institution. There is absolutely no benefit to a man.

by Anonymousreply 106/06/2021

You think marriage prevents someone from leaving???

by Anonymousreply 206/06/2021

R1 sounds bitter as fuck.

by Anonymousreply 306/06/2021

Marriage, organized religion, and all the other societal imposed superstitions from previous centuries can take a flying fuck. Gays shouldn't support this oppressive shit.

by Anonymousreply 406/06/2021

I didn't grow up wanting to be a bride nor marry a bride. Neither did my partner. And wedding seem very much bride-centric. Which is cool. Nothing wrong with that. We're happy that gay marriage exists, but it's not for us.

by Anonymousreply 506/06/2021

We found a lot of financial benefits to being married like spousal health insurance, survivorship benefits for pensions and not incurring an estate tax. And, it feels right to have the same benefits as straights.

by Anonymousreply 606/06/2021

We have been together for nearly 25 years, and, because we could not legally marry, we had power of attorney set up, as well as wills, etc. to protect us. We watched our elders not be able to be by their partner's side when they died, and did not want that.

We haven't married, as it wasn't something we ever really cared about, being excluded for so long. Not a tradition for us, but maybe for our silver anniversary, as it means a little more to my partner than to me.

by Anonymousreply 706/06/2021

Op is is the bitter one. R4 & 5 are entirely correct. My partner (boyfriend, lover…depending on which decade it was) and I have made it 37 years just fine by being self sufficient adults that depend on each other, while not being dependent on each other. We each own property separately and together, have our own insurance and wills/trusts that protect our interests/rights.

by Anonymousreply 806/06/2021

We don't have any reason to get married. There's no family or social pressure and, like R7, all our paper work is sorted. If there were significant financial benefits or we needed it for immigration purposes I guess we would consider it but for the moment there's no real need.

by Anonymousreply 906/06/2021

So basically most of the answers are deeply seeded commitment issue masqueraded as :"Oh we don't follow traditional convention."

by Anonymousreply 1006/07/2021

this August will make 10 years that my bf and I have been together, 5 years since he moved in. We decided that getting married wasn’t a thing for us. but now his female work friends are pestering him to get married on our 10 year anniversary. why i don’t know but it’s definitely a young female thing. I’m open to it, so it’s up in the air right now.

by Anonymousreply 1106/07/2021

Marriage in our society (unlike muslim) is solely to benefit women. There is zero need for two males to marry. Get your own insurance ans's not difficult. Why on earth would you willingly shackle yourself to another's pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 1206/07/2021

That's how you interpret the majority of these replies, R10?

Not me. I don't read any deep seeded commitment issues at all. Quite the opposite. While it does seem most who replied have no burning desire or need to be married, most seem to enjoy being in committed relationships.

by Anonymousreply 1306/07/2021

R11 & R12, good observations and contributions. Op’s comment at R10 serve’s once again to prove that if we don’t assimilate into heteronormativity and female roles, that we are broken. He has agitated me and I know that is what his real intention was.

by Anonymousreply 1406/07/2021

Since I gave away the milk for free, he won't buy the cow.

by Anonymousreply 1506/07/2021

Well….marriage is a financial union. Unless you are willing to make a contract with another man and become financial intertwined I would say don’t get married until your ready for that commitment…..divorce can be very expensive

by Anonymousreply 1606/07/2021

We’ve been partnered for 17 years. I hate him at this point

by Anonymousreply 1706/07/2021

Ring shortage.

by Anonymousreply 1806/07/2021

25 years+ I’d love to tell you it’s simply bliss being married…but that’s not reality . Some men get restless in long term relationships Monogamy is a grand concept but not practical for long term relationships. Flexible fluid marriages have a better chance of surviving but both partners have to be onboard for an open relationship to work.

Don’t get married unless your ready to see it through. Otherwise it is too panful and way too costly to just walk away when the going gets tough.

by Anonymousreply 1906/07/2021

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

by Anonymousreply 2006/07/2021


Don’t sell yourself short….finding good milk is a priceless commodity…..and once you do.. you wouldn’t want to lose it.

by Anonymousreply 2106/08/2021

R17 Ugh...he sounds horrible. How could you stand him in all those years?

by Anonymousreply 2206/08/2021

Marriage is a social construct, it’s so overrated

by Anonymousreply 2306/08/2021

Monogamy is overrated enough - screw marriage.

by Anonymousreply 2406/08/2021

Been partnered for 13 years but have no interest in commingling finances or property ownership. We hope for the best but things happen in real life.

by Anonymousreply 2506/08/2021

Except, domestic partnership is basically marriage without the name. Why don't you upgrade to full-on marriage R23?

by Anonymousreply 2606/08/2021


they probably hate each other……financially melded together forever would be my guess

by Anonymousreply 2706/08/2021

Why would someone want to be married? Well, maybe for all of the legal benefits. But do go on about how simply being unofficially "partnered" is the same thing.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 2806/08/2021

ain’t no way out except to the poor farm…divorce makes people very fucking vindictive..all that love turns to hate in a heartbeat

by Anonymousreply 2906/08/2021

why haven’t I asked him to marry me? you ask…….just because I’m fuckin his ass ..doesn’t mean i want to commit to a life long arrangement…and I know what a little slut he can be…trust issues for sure

by Anonymousreply 3006/08/2021

R25 R29 So you know it is not gonna last, OK, interesting.

by Anonymousreply 3106/08/2021

some bottoms just can’t get enough ‘strange’ dick….always sneaking around ..telling you you’re the only top for them…little sex pig fucks

by Anonymousreply 3206/08/2021

toilet queen bitches

by Anonymousreply 3306/08/2021

pissed…damn right!

by Anonymousreply 3406/08/2021

Midwest Man, almost none of those apply to me and my partner. We both make good incomes, have created wills to protect our joint property, and generally won’t fit the role of a dependent 1950s-era widow that most of these protections assume. We’re not against it, it just hasn’t risen to the top of our to do list.

by Anonymousreply 3506/08/2021

Been together 30 years. And here is a little secret - you just say you're married and that's it. Hardly anyone questions it.

by Anonymousreply 3606/08/2021

Your partner does and sometimes, in the deepest, darkest nights, you do too, R36.

by Anonymousreply 3706/08/2021

And no one who in the history of Western civilization has ever questioned getting married, r37? What strange and nasty insinuation about a relationship you know nothing about.

by Anonymousreply 3806/08/2021

Together 21 years and we are never getting married. He's 62, I’m 48 Ain’t happening

by Anonymousreply 3906/08/2021

[quote] deeply seeded commitment issue

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 4006/08/2021

R40 I know what I typed.

by Anonymousreply 4106/08/2021

DL always amuses me with it's elitism. Not every same sex couple has access to income, benefits and credit to flourish in the world. It takes both partners to live a solid life. Plus inheritance and medical care issues are easier. Not everyone can afford to pay for wills, more taxes etc.

by Anonymousreply 4206/08/2021

Out=r tax guy told us we were better off tax-wise if we weren't married. We live in CA and are RDPs (Registered Domestic Partners), though.

by Anonymousreply 4306/08/2021

[quote]Marriage is a ludicrously outdated institution. There is absolutely no benefit to a man.

Outdated? Maybe. No benefits? Maybe not for you, but the advantages soon become evident if you're a binational couple.

In countries where same-sex marriage is recognized, immigration can be vastly easier in many countries for a married couple. To demonstrate a domestic partnership or an established, long-term relationship may be possible but with varying layers of additional evidence and scrutiny. Along with that go various legal rights, including survivor's rights like inheritance; access to national health care systems, a fast-track for citizenship; ease of buying property; etc. Generally, being married to a citizen of the country where you are moving makes things much easier.

by Anonymousreply 4406/09/2021

I love being able to file taxes jointly and to be able to move money between our accounts without having to pay attention to gifting. Also, homophobes don't get under my skin as much since we have full rights.

by Anonymousreply 4506/09/2021

If we get married, will I have to be truthful about my meth-fueled bathhouse weekends when I’m “traveling for work” ?

by Anonymousreply 4606/09/2021

Not being married has actually given us tax benefits—he qualified for the stimulus money while I didn’t. We would owe so much more in taxes if we combined taxes.

by Anonymousreply 4706/09/2021

When you get married you have to remember 2 things:

Tell your cub how much you appreciate him everyday And give him every inch of your love ..everyday need he can feel your love And the rest just comes with time.

by Anonymousreply 4806/09/2021
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