How do you feel about words like “fag”?

I seriously smoke Fags!

How did your emasculated husband feel about it when you called him that during dinner last night in front of your kids? Go away, Karen.

R2 I’m not a “Karen”. I am a gay man asking a legit question. I guess you gave me your answer.

I call my friend fag and queer all the time, and we laugh about it. Now if a straight says it, that's different. It's no different than blacks who call each other the N word.

R4 that is what I was wondering. Some of my friends are not bothered by it. Others are really vocal about their anger when they hear it. I am not, unless somebody is saying it to be particularly hateful. I just noticed people using it in 80s films and even Valley Of The Dolls, and wonder why it was so socially acceptable until recently? Other slurs were eliminated way before.

Because everyone is offended by everything now, you can't breathe for someone ranting about getting their feelings hurt about something. The internet has allowed people to whine like pussies and to get attention.

[quote] Because everyone is offended by everything now, you can't breathe for someone ranting about getting their feelings hurt about something.

Yes, Karen.

Funny you posted this topic. I just heard Tom Berenger say it in the film "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" earlier this evening. Like the N word, it's fine if used in a dramatic context; otherwise, not so much.

I think of it in terms of the movies, like Valley Of The Dolls. Also 'queer' (The Turning Point). It's so dramatic.

OP, maybe you could come up with some better examples. The 2 you cite are done for artistic reasons to show characters behavior/mindset.

Bill and Ted saying it after hugging is SUPPOSED to be bad/lame. They have genuine love+appreciation for each other but showing it makes them uncomfortable. Calling each other "fag" after a hug shows their insecurity to show feelings. It's actually a reference to toxic masculinity before that term was even coined.

The Dire Straits song is told from the perspective of a backwards-thinking disgruntled blue collar worker. Again, this is artistic choice of having him refer to the earring wearing rock star on MTV who "gets chicks for free" as a faggot. It's supposed to be dumb. Calling a guy who gets all the girls a "faggot" is literally backwards.

I'm not saying the word "fag" hasn't been casually used in mainstream media as a straightforward anti-gay insult but the 2 you cite are-not-that.

Depends on the person and the context. I’m a big homo, who has used the word here. Some bitter troglodytes thought I was het, or had no sense of irony (Mary!) and gave me a time out. Stupid, pissy, and ignorant. My experience has been very similar to the way the “N” word is handled here. Clearly there is no problem here with misogynistic terms. I came of age when “queer” was reclaimed, and the olds of that era went berserk. I understood their reaction, but respectfully disagreed. “Fag” was my difficult word to let go. What helped me most was seeing how all my lesbetarian friends had successfully reclaimed the word “dyke.” Just my two cents…

R10 here is an article that talks about it. I should be able to give better examples off the top of my head, but when I’m on the spot my brain always dries up.

R7 That's not really a Yes, Karen comment, stop trying to to be witty, you sound like a fool

I hated it then, I hate it now.

[quote] That's not really a Yes, Karen comment,

Yes, it is.

[quote] stop trying to to be witty, you sound like a fool

You should take your own advice. Now take your fat self and move along, Karen.

Less offensive than queer.

Thanks R16, that's exactly what I was gonna say. Queer means odd, strange, abnormal, freakish, deviant, etc..

Fag just reflects on the intelligence of the person who says it.

Call me a fag, I'll probably walk away steamed. Call me a queer, I'll likely take you to the ground. Then tell the cops I defended myself from a hate crime.

"all of my fag friends"

Call me either of those words and they will be your last.

[quote]Funny you posted this topic. I just heard Tom Berenger say it in the film "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" earlier this evening.

Wrong. Tom’s character doesn’t say it, Richard Gere’s character says it when he’s acting like a weirdo pretending to fight an imaginary person in his underwear in Diane’s character’s bedroom.

Keanu is one, so he gets a pass.

I think the 80’s and 90’s were the most homophobic decades ever. That word was thrown around like nothing in every other movie.

[quote] My experience has been very similar to the way the “N” word is handled here.

I can't see a situation in which the "N" word would be appropriate here (or anywhere), unless between two Black people, who probably wouldn't be identifiable as such on this site. Even then, it's distasteful because others might feel it gives them license to use it (who shouldn't be).

[quote] Even then, it's distasteful because others might feel it gives them license to use it (who shouldn't be).

Meaning on this site

Fag and queer were slurs. We all knew "smear the queer" was not referring to the girl who looked just like Martina Navratilova, and played softball. And the smearing wasn't lipstick, much to my dismay.

[quote]Calling each other "fag" after a hug shows their insecurity to show feelings. It's actually a reference to toxic masculinity before that term was even coined.

I hate it when people take something that is just straight men being clueless bigots and make it out to be something that it isn't.

[quote] Call me a queer, I'll likely take you to the ground.

And what are we going to be doing once we’re down there, you sexy thing?

Mmmmmmm

I hate it but what do I know? People use it here, they use “queer”. Gays obviously don’t mind them if they become part of the lexicon and are legitimized.

Faggots are delicious!

While it’s fine as a word between two gay men who have a deep relationship with the “F” word. Outside of the male homosexual community, not cool. It’s a word that cuts too deep for me. The sooner it leaves the popular vernacular, the better. I don’t use slurs to describe people, I’d like the same respect.

[quote]While it’s fine as a word between two gay men who have a deep relationship with the “F” word.

And deep insecurities.

R21 - I haven't seen Goodbar in a couple of decades, but I remember Berenger defensively saying it - something along the lines of "I'm not some kind of fag" - to Keaton after he couldn't get it up and getting angry with her (right before he attacks & kills her).

I'm older so I use it in front of my older gay male friends, jocularly

I'm aware than younger gays find it offensive and I try not to use it around them, and as a matter of fact avoid them in general

OP, I'd say 22 years was a long time ago.

I went to a screening of Valley of the Dolls a few years ago and everytime the word fag was used the audience of gay men laughed and applauded. It’s just a silly, antiquated word.

LOVE THEM

BLESS,

The whole Dire Straits thing pisses me off. They've claimed it's a fictional song and the person saying it is the ignorant blue collar worker in the song.

But absolutely none of the dolts listening to the song understand that. None of the people who sang it to me in HS did. And it was totally a way for them to criticize Boy George and hide behind "the song" to do it, too. So fuck THAT noise.

I still hear fag and faggot from time ro time,not aimed at me as I'm bisexual amd currently with a woman and pretty masculine ie. unclockable, on the bus or subway I use to get to work

Usually it's a Black person saying the word on their phone really loudly

It happened with a Black woman who got on the Subway last week, she had her phone on speakerphone and was talking to her female friend, "I kept telling y'all he a faggot, he be doing some downlow shit"

I don't think it should be acceptable for any straight person -- ANY straight person -- to use the words 'fag' or 'queer'. They're both our "n-word".

R40 but what about all these straight "pay attention to me!" girls on Tumblr who claim they're "Queer"

Don’t like the word fag and don’t like the word queer

R41, it's one reason why I fucking hate the word 'Queer' and don't think it should be in the LGBT alphabet soup.

The word "Queer" DOESN'T ACTUALLY SEEM TO MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE. I will never use it, and nobody -- gay or not -- had better call me "Queer". Because I'm fucking NOT.

I hate the word "fag," but one of my favorite movie quotes of all times is, "Paging Dr. Faggot!" from "The Hangover."

Faggot bashing was so common that nobody thought the word "fag" might be offensive. Even Will and Grace overused the word to the point that some of the reruns seem to be gay self-hating. Times are different now, and I think people are waking up to how much bullying behavior was just taken for granted.

The word “faggot” was used in The Breakfast Club as a slur on Judd Nelson’s locker (he wrote it as a warning to people not to mess with his locker). A lot of people used it in high school in the 80s to insult people, much like “that’s so gay” was used in the 2000s (is it still used now to denote something uncool or literally gay)?

I don’t use the word and find it offensive based on how it was used and who was using it.

[quote]Even Will and Grace overused the word to the point that some of the reruns seem to be gay self-hating.

I would honestly rather watch [italic]Leave it to Beaver[/italic]. Everybody knows that fat queen Fred Rutherford was family.

How do you feel about words like-

Bossy bottom

Fat Whore

Connoisseur Of Cock