Coronation Street on ITV: Part 5

I just discovered we live in a world where Antony Cotton recorded a cover of "When You Say Nothing at All".

Going from the hate crime storyline to the Sharon/Dev cringefest... that's the epitome of the phrase "from the sublime to the ridiculous".

OP: Someone tell that woman that her Korean wig is on too far forward.

What were they on when they wrote these episodes? It's only Tuesday, and so far Sharon has Tasered Jenny in broad daylight and a ten-year-old has taken out a gun-wielding drug baron with a telescope.

Tyrone gets Alina up the duff in the coming weeks.

I don't understand why Fiz and Tyrone are banging on about custody battles. Neither of them ever adopted the other's child. The court would give Tyrone custody of Ruby and Fiz custody of Hope. Simple.

Ruby’s mother must be out of prison by now. She should show up to fight for custody, bringing Fizz and Tyrone closer together.

Yeah r7....about Kirsty....

Hah, yeah, she’s getting killed off-screen? What a shame. The actress was so good.

I don't think Tommy Orpington would go within three miles of Corey. His agent should have done some background and said "We can't be seen with this kid. He's involved in bashing and murder. Even if he didn't do it, we can't go near him." Yet there they are, treating Corey like God's Gift.

Dead sexy, that Harvey.

I agree, R10, that was really stupid.

I’m hoping Sunday night’s hourlong episode will finally include the Sharon-Leanne showdown.

Tonight’s episode was eminently fast-forwardable, what with the utterly cringeworthy Anthony Cotton. Does he have something on the headwriter Jonathan Harvey?

I want Curtis (Sam Retford) in me, quite deeply.

I haven’t caught an episode of Corrie in a while. Are Mavis and Derek still working in the Kabin?

No dear. They've gone the way of Ena Sharples.

And Stanley’s eyeglasses. And the muriel.

Actually, looking for the muriel has become like a treasure hunt, for me, many, many other British shows has the three ducks? Show up in their set design. Once you start noticing it you will see how common it is. It must be to British set designers what the three lions is for footballers.

There’s online speculation that Curtis is Clare Peacock’s son out for revenge. For something.

I would pull Curtis's pants down and suck him off, right in the middle of the Bistro rush hour!

Gail has a heart attack next week!

Good, the chinless wonder was so mean to Nick on Monday’s episode.

I saw that clip R22, she was pretty unreasonable and overreacting to poor old Nick.

I assume it's a plot device to build tension on her ticker because generally Gail is a great mother and Grandmother. In many ways she's the backbone of the street

All true, R23. It was bad writing. And way out of character for Gail. Yes, she can be judgmental but her views on Leanne were simplistic. And…uhhh…people in glass houses and all that.

So is it possible that Sharon is only pretending to take over as druglord to get the rest of Harvey’s gang banged up?

Gail is a floozy.

So Sharon is Keyser Soze? I don't think Curtis is Claire's son. Freddie would be 15 or 16 now. Her stepson Josh would be about 20 by now. Who does he want revenge against?

Tracy, for taunting Claire over Ashley.

Damn I hate this Tyrone and Fizz storyline, because it actually makes me feel for her. It is why I never have more than a one night stand with a married man.

Happy to find that our Rita saw right through Sharon's lies.

Now that the squeak-toy Alina is up the duff, I don't think Ty and Fiz will get back together.

I think they will and Alina keeps the baby a secret.

If history is anything to go by she will lose the baby, abort when Ty leaves her or disappear

....

Wow, two episodes in which I barely stopped fast-forwarding. Sean, Alina, the Baileys-Jesus Christ. I did stop to watch the scenes with Ryan/David and Natasha/Nick/Sam, though.

I like Natasha, she seems much less desperate now. How long til they have her lose her money, need to move onto the street and take a job with Audrey?

By the by, how did Carla go from being a rich factory owner, then having a big business in Cornwall to being broke? Soap finances?

Bad news, Izzy and her awful acting are returning! Apparently she has a scintillating new story. I feel bad as the actress is probably a nice person but hell she's an awful character.

I hope Izzy overdoses on drugs supplied by Sharon.

James and his fella are kind of cute together.

His fella is a cookie cutter gay, Not interesting at all, in my opinion.

Is Gail going to die?

Spoiler

So glad Queen Carla now oebs the factory again, she was at her best being boss.

I doubt Gail’s dying.

But what can they write for her now, send her somewhere else for a while, she comes back all airy fairy again and just reverts back to being a mother/grandmother worry wart?

After five decades of Corrie, Helen Worth will be free to pursue other projects and advance to the next stage of her career.

Did anyone think Gail's rant at Audrey in the hospital was a bit uncalled for?

I enjoyed Audrey's comedic replies but it was hurtful. Audrey has more than atoned for being a neglectful mother by being there for Gail for the last 40 years, bailing her out, almost being murdered by Richard, employing her kids, etc.

The writers could have made that scene more two-sided, serious and compelling.

[quote]and advance to the next stage of her career

Death?

Helen Worth is doing a guest stint on Hollyoaks as a sexy GILF

And Chris Fountain is going back to Hollyoaks as her sex slave.

Come on, the way the Baileys have changed no. 3 makes no sense, reversing the stairs and adding a new room/closet which logically will be inside Ken's house

Great that Carla is back as owner of the factory. Johnny owed her that money anyway. When they say she's the majority owner, who else has shares?

R47 It just looks unfinished, like they are living in a half built house.

They've subtly made all of the houses bigger over the years

Who do you think is the biggest farter on set?

Eugh him

The actor playing Ryan was finally shown in just boxer shorts and showed us the very definition of what fit fat is. Dude’s got a bit of a pot belly on him.

^ He has nice thick arms, though.

He sure does, R54, which makes him being so out of shape in other areas look incongruous.

That fat ass though....

Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing about his body as presented on today's episode.

I still miss Sol Heras, the cutie who used to play swapped-at-birth Ryan

HM The Queen visited the set, looking fabulous. She was greeted by Rita and her posh accent, Ken, Audrey and Our Gail.

Too bad they aren't still doing the who is going to buy the rovers story. they could've given her a walk on as a potential buyer.

How much was Johnny asking? If Rita bought it with Bet in 1995 she would have made a killing.

Audrey has a very posh voice too

That's "The Honourable Miss Harmar-Nicholls" to you, r62!

R63 Don't put on airs with me my girl, you wouldn't have out if it weren't for your Alfie, you aged tart!

R64 Ivy, dear, we all know what you got up to after leaving the cobbles, so I wouldn't be throwing around the word tart, if I was you.

Elsie Tanner is still a whore.

Who's dead?

On Monday they apparently shot flashbacks of the night of the attack.

I believe the theory that it was Kelly who did the beating and Corey was there but actually tried to stop her.

Jesus, Billy is a sanctimonious idiot.

I think Corey did the bulk of the beating but Kelly joined in. Kelly's too small to have overpowered Seb alone.

If Seb tripped and fell while he was running it’s plausible for Kelly to kick his head in.

Billy is the stupidest git on earth.

Noooooooo! Not beautiful Curtis!!!!

NuTodd’s a good actor, and actually looks like he could be Eileen’s offspring.

R74 that's a mean thing to say!

Who would want to see Chesney and Kirk in a nude layout?!

I wish to see Curtis, Ryan, Imran and Adam with their pants off!

I wouldn't mind seeing Chesney. He looks like one of those nerds that takes his pants off and is huge. But, no one wants to see Kirk.

Dev and Tyrone are gross too

The guy who Fizz is dating looks a lot like Chesney.

I bet Curtis has a very suckable cock. It's about time Emma had some good pinga!

I hope Sean and Eileen's house is crushed by a second tram derailment. With them in it of course

I actually used to like Eileen. She had a good rapport with Steve back in the day. I don't know why she's become so unlikable over the last ten years or so.

I used to love her and now I can’t stand her, either. What the fuck happened? I can’t think of another example of where I loved an actress/character for years and then grew to loathe them.

Making Eileen so stupid when she was with Pat Phelan certainly didn’t help, along with years of not being with her sons and only the unbearable Sean for company.

Eileen has a miserable face like a slapped arse, no fashion sense, an ugly house and uses constant sarcasm instead of wit. What's not to hate?

Are Jack and Vera still being conned by that good-for-nothing son of theirs?

No, Vera died after being electrocuted by her vibrator.

It was the pigeons that got her, r86.

It really is tiresome at present, you can predict the outcome of all stories

How can Corrie do such a great job with an issue like the hate crime against Nina and Seb, and then such a ham-fisted one with an issue like racism?

EastEnders is so much better!

Pack it in, Phil.

They're bringing back Claudia AKA Rula

Are they? I hope to god she doesn’t return with that two tone mane again.

So Hope will be responsible for Alina’s miscarriage? I hope Alina goes mental and abducts Hope, selling her to gypsies in Transylvania.

Has Alina miscarried and going to fake her pregnancy?

Did Adam get his big cock out for the calendar?

How big IS Adam's cock?

I know Hope is a demon child but I feel a bit sorry for her. Fiz shouldn't have got angry with her for saying she hates the baby - the baby is just an abstract concept to her, she's only ten. She needs to be able to express her feelings without being shouted at after all the upheaval she's been put through. They should just have let her change her mind about the toy, too.

I LOL'd last week when Billy watched the video and then said "Tell me it's not true." You just watched a full fucking confession!

Hope is excellent as Demon Seed far more entertaining than the vast majority of them.

WTF was the Very Special Racism story? Appalling and not helped by the talentless crew tasked with delivering it.

R96 find out for us Ivy love. You can borrow my smartphone to get a few pics for us girls here in't snug

R95, she won’t be able to fake her miscarriage. She been taken to the hospital after smoke inhalation from the fire Hope set.

Hah, sorry, I meant fake her pregnancy!

Oh she lost the baby then.

Yes, she lost the baby. And Evelyn is already suspicious about Hope starting the fire.

The actor playing Norris has retired, they are killing him off!

Awww.

This show LOVES killing off characters off screen but still haven’t gotten around to killing off Kevin and Debbie’s dad Bill. The actor who played him has been dead for several years now.

I didn't know he was dead. I always found Bill's romance with Audrey a bit strange. He was the sort to lift his leg and let rip, right at the dinner table! Audrey would have collapsed

Does the phrase "spoiler alert" mean nothing to you, R104?

R107 sorry, I didn't think it was a spoiler as he's been killed off screen. Didn't mean to ruin anything

It's okay, R108. I should have learned by now that there are often spoilers in this thread!

There are, indeed. Like, how about this one:

Hope’s lifeless little body is discovered at the bottom of the Platt sinkhole.

Did she fall? Or was she pushed?

I do think it’s silly they’re now trafficking in that archaic theory posed by The Bad Seed that criminal psychosis is genetic. Hope being John Stape’s biological daughter is a poor excuse for her behavior.

Ryan is becoming more sexy. I don't blame that tart from the bar wanting to ride his peen.

I must give credit even though I hate the character, Izzy's breakdown scene was really well played.

I fast-forward through all of Izzy’s scenes so grateful for the update, R112.

I usually do too but I love Carla so I was watching it for her!

When Fizz was getting into the police car it wasn’t great that they had her yelling at Alina (who’d reported her to the police) who’d just had a miscarriage which may or may not have been caused by the fire.

I hope they lock Fiz up for a few months

Fuck that squeak toy Alina. Dracu 'ei chiar în fund.

That who storyline is dumb. What would Alina see in Tyrone, who's dumb, not cute, not rich, boring and looks smelly?

R118 many women, especially women who immigrate to other countries, will chase after married/partnered men because they figure they're already broken in and there must be something good about him if he already has a woman.

Well R119 I guess Alina knew she didn't have much competition!

Has Gail really left the cobbles then?

Nah, she’ll be back by Christmas. She’ll act all “enlightened” like she was the last time she was in Thailand and in within six months she’ll be the same chinless nagging shrew she always is.

How did she afford it, isn't she a cleaner?

She inherited her gay dad's estate, which she used to buy the house back. I imagine she might have some left.

She should have used some of the money for cosmetic enhancements, a face and tit lift.

That would be hilarious.

I hope Gail comes back with a hot new man who knows how to please her pussy and make her feel like a real woman, not some underappreciated drudge.

And preferably not a serial killer.

Does anyone remember when big Pat Phelan told Eileen that sleeping with her made him physically sick?

Well, he couldn’t diss her earrings like Roy did to Pat on EE.

At least Pat was sexy, Eileen looks like a slapped bum

And I bet Pat talked dirty in bed whereas Eileen just lies there, staring up at the ceiling.

Eileen needs a paper bag over her head during coitus so that lessens her ability to converse.

I think right after Roy told Pat he hated her earrings he found a bag of her kinky lingerie and body oils she had bought for her and Frank. Oh my word!

I bet Roy loved her in her black heels, garter belt and suspenders, though. And basque, of course, which hid her flabby tummy.

Roy never got to enjoy Pat carnally, did he ever get over his impotence? He was blind jealous the Pat was such a strumpet in the bedroom with Frank, but not him

I think he did manage to enjoy her carnally eventually, though. With a little help from a certain medication?

I think viagra gave him a heart attack or something? I think they did too actually but he was furious she was so into sex with Frank when she'd said it wasn't important to her

*too

*to not too

Yeah, that’s how I remember it, too. They did have sex eventually, though.

Back to Coronation Street-Zeedan is coming back? I guess he’ll be Daisy’s next conquest?

Where did they find soave for this memorial garden? The set just keeps expanding!

Space*

Evelyn has grown into a great character. I felt she was a bit of a Blanche knock-off at first, but she's more than that.

R143 she is. Like you… at first I thought she was just a retread but now I can’t imagine the street without her.

I just wish she’d turned out to be Tyrone’s later in life mother and not his gran.

You can vote for Corrie at the National Television Awards here:

Really agree about Evelyn, glad they are allowing her to develop because the actress is terrific, Maureen Lipman.

I think Tyronne's loudmouth mum Jackie was too established and too selfish to have brought up the baby, so they couldn't change the back story realistically. Wasn't Jackie the one who looked out for Deirdre when she was in prison?

Evelyn didn’t bring up Tyrone, though, R147.

That's what I mean, R145 suggested the twist of Evelyn being Tyronne's mum but I don't think it would work based on his mum already being clearly established and not the kind of person to selflessly raise a baby that wasn't hers.

I haven't been following but why do gorgeous Imran and Toyah care so much about this teen girl?

If Imran fostered me...

I think it’s so the twist lands better-that she really was the piece of shit who kicked Seb to death.

What's she charged with?

GBH?

^^^I got really high on that once!

God, Tyrone is fickle, even by soap standards.

There isn’t a NuLiam? At least the kid actor seems a tad less annoying this time around. I couldn’t stand him before.

There is a new series of novels on Amazon...The Magnolia Chronicles. The first Magnolias and...Honeysuckle and Poinsettias was just released and the book is dedicated to a lot of soap creators:

[quote] Irna Phillips, Agnes Nixon, Frank and Doris Hursley, Bill and Lee Phillip Bell, Roy Winsor, Irving Vendig, Dan Curtis, Douglas Marland, Claire Labine, Tony Warren, Kevin Laffan, David Jacobs, Richard and Esther Shapiro and Earl Hamner Jr. And all the writers and actors of their genre.

Last night's episodes were appalling! I think Corrie's been all right over these last few weeks - not gripping, but watchable - but there was something weird about the writing yesterday. Oddest part was when Jack just stood there silently while Liam was struggling to breathe.

This pollution storyline is so contrived and Maria smashing up the van is criminal in more ways than one

It was criminally bad storylining and pacing, inserting her into the Kelly trial/traffic SLs along with a child in ill health SL.

Simon is so dim. As if it hadn't occurred to Nina to try to remember what happened until now!

I wonder what piece of music will jog her memory next week. A piece of Mahler’s?

Charlie deMeli is very weird, hair-wise. He’s obviously very hairy on his chest and on his shoulders/top of his arms but his forearms are completely smooth.

I meant Charlie deMelo (Imran), sorry.

R163 I bet he has a big ol'hairy cock!

Fantastic couple of episodes. And #Corrie is the UK's top Twitter trend right now!

The new Nina is so boring. The writers turned her into a 20 something Frau.

Who killed sexy Seb?

Fucking BritBox. Tonight's episodes are unavailable.

Was just about to post that, R168.

They pulled this same shit on the Christmas Eve episodes.

Just tweeted to Britbox to put the fucking episodes up before those of us here in the US stumble upon spoilers.

Yeah what the fuck britbox?

I'll give you a spoiler m'lad, that Sally Metcalfe at no. 6 is one selfish floozie who's no better than she ought to be! Common as mook!

This is a regular thing with BritBox. Episodes aren't available when they should be or closed captioning either missing or off by a few minutes. BritBox has terrible customer service, too. If you report something wrong, you hear a few days later. I think it really is time to try a VPN so I can stream on ITV Player.

Oh Christ, Britbox posted the first of Monday’s episodes twice,

Who killed Seb?

Corey.

I should have figured it wasn’t Kelly. They’ll need to have her in the story when her dad returns and she forces him to get the truth out about Rana’s death so Imran will finally get justice. And Garry will finally go to prison for it. This must also be why Zeedan is returning. I gather the actress who played Kate was a huge cunt but maybe they’ll bring her back for a few weeks.

Kate was as interesting as a morning fart, I hope she doesn't come back.

I haven’t watched Coronation Street since Raquel was written out. I see bits of it occasionally when channel flicking, and the standard of acting has definitely gone downhill. Is there any reason to start watching again?

There are a few hotties R178 who should be contractually obliged to remove their clothing and show us loyal viewers their wares.

Also, now and again they have an interesting storyline

I like Kelly. She reminds me of a girl in school who I wrote off as a bitch until I got to know her senior year. She was really sweet but had had a hard home life so she wore bitchiness as a mask.

No Corrie tonight (Wed. 8 Sept.) due to football. We get the verdicts on Friday. My prediction is that both get convicted, but I'm not feeling sure about that.

Next week brings sadness to the street when a "beloved" character dies. It's already been revealed that it is Norris Cole. Yes, you probably already thought he was dead. Also, Imran and Sabeen seem to have kindled something. A a new couple break up.

Imran and Toyah had potential to be an interesting couple but the writers squandered it. They quickly became dull together. I don't care if he leaves her for Sabeen.

I think Kelly will be convicted, although I suspect it would be very difficult to get a conviction in real life if the surviving victim insisted she had seen the defendant try to stop the attack. Surely that would more than constitute reasonable doubt? I think England and Wales still have the double jeopardy law, so if Corey is found not guilty he can't be put on trial again even if Abi finds proof that his dad bribed Eli to lie under oath.

The Criminal Justice Act of 2003 can bypass the double-jeopardy rule if there is "new and compelling evidence" introduced. Whether Corey's father's bride rises to that is for HM Courts & Tribunals Service to decide.

bribe, not bride. Dammed autocorrect!

Kelly guilty of murder. 12-year minimum sentence, Corey found not guilty.

Tonight's episodes were well-written and well-acted. The reactions all felt true to the characters.

Kelly will be out by Christmas thanks to Imran. And in gratitude she’ll eventually uncover the truth about the ceiling collapse which killed Imran’s sister.

R186 Roy gave one of the strongest performances I've seen in a long time. He was so good, Dev even rose above his usual style. Usually, Dev is so broad he makes a pantomime dame look like they are underplaying.

Who goes down the sinkhole in Gail's backyard?

I love Gail and Audrey

How can this thread only have 190 posts? I'm sure I've seen that mousy-looking lady in OP's pic come through my thread more than 500 times.

Who's in OP pic? It's been scored out for me by some idiots flaming us

^ Gail

The show won't be the same without Norris :(

Alina is such a hypocrite, getting all high and mighty about Tyrone kissing Fiz! Has she forgotten how she and him got together in the first place? More to the point, have neither she nor Tyrone ever heard of contraception?

Norris hasn't really been around for a long while. I'm shocked at Ken, though. He's looking[italic]OLD[/italic].

That new beau of Fiz, though -- Phill -- woooof!

He looks so much like an older version of Chesney it’s distracting, though.

SPOILER:

The sinkhole killing will be a special 9pm special next month. I can't reveal who dies but here is a snap of Gail out back sunning her baps, just before the sinkhole devours a Platt.

Here's Phill (Jamie Kenna) back in 2012.

Is that a new Max?

Yep. They replaced the other one. His manboobs were alarming for a 12 year old.

I don't care for Freida.

But, I do like that they allow a disabled character to be so bitchy.

I can’t stand Freida. I hope she won’t be on regularly.

Who the hell is caring for Emily? She must feel stupid now, she left her house to Morris so he wouldn't be homeless after her death. He not only sells it but then pops his clogs before her!

Speaking of our dear Emily, I was hoping we would get another Zoom appearance from her for Norris' sendoff. If I was the producer, I would inquire if she would record a few hours of stuff that way, to pepper her in storylines. I think there is something special about using an older beloved character in a technologically advanced way.

The actress seems to be in good health and her husband died. I doubt the she will ever return in person, though if she wanted to I'd say yes please. But, the zoom stuff shouldn't be too taxing for her and give her something to do.

WTF is up with the casting of the young characters? Aadi is fifteen and is played by a twenty-one-year-old. His girlfriend Summer is sixteen and is played by a twenty-three-year-old. Jack Webster just turned eleven and is played by a fourteen-year-old. I don't know how old NuMax's actor is, but he sure as hell doesn't look fifteen. Does everyone in Weatherfield feed their kids some kind of growth hormones?

R205 It is funny seeing David being tough with Max, the old and new one are both as big if not bigger than him.

NuMax looks fifteen to me, R205, how much older do you think he looks?

I would say, all three look appropriate for their character's ages.

I'd say he looks closer to 18, R207.

Is Gail back yet?

Here's who I hope gets sucked down the sinkhole, in order of preference:

1. Sean

2. Eileen

3. Gemma or Chesney

4. Izzy

R209, I disagree. Yes, he’s tall but fifteen year olds can be as tall as that by then. His face, to me, looks totally plausible as a fifteen year old.

It's the imported Pine Valley water, r205.

Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi joined Sir Lindsay Hoyle, Speaker of the House of Commons on the cobbles. I wo nder if she pulled a pint?

R213 Nancy visiting a pub, how appropriate.

Seriously, is the woman in OP's pic supposed to be part mouse in the series?

She lost her chin when her car was driven into a canal.

Gail is a soap icon

I love that picture of Gail with her tits out, someone deliberately papped her sunbathing. That's crazy, like the one of Cilla Black topless. Guess they have shock value

Frieda kidnapping Aled... yikes. One of the oddest Corrie episodes I've seen.

God, I hate Frieda.

So what does Norris have hidden in the paperboy?

What is Freida lying about, what did Norris want to tell Ken?

I haven't watched today's episode, has anyone mentioned talking to Emily, yet? I mean if nothing else they should say they have talked to her on the phone, and because of the pandemic or whatever she isn't/can't come, its not much but it is those little details that soaps used to excel at. . Yes, Rita and Norris were close but Emily and Norris lived in the same house for years and Freda is her niece.

R222 yes Ken said he would do it, making the observation " I have her number in my phone"

Ok, hear me out, how about a Daniel/Max teacher student sex story? They could both discover their latent bisexuality.

Also, I didn't think it was possible but I continuously fall further in love with Audrey. At the funeral she was like a more down to earth version of Patsy from AbFab.

I must also hand it to Rita, by this point she should be singing "I'm Still Here" from Follies. She has now had two iconic Kabin partnerships and she is still there.

R224, no re Max having sex with Daniel. He’s 15 years old.

He's 15 now, but when is Max's birthday? 16 is the legal age in the UK right? I know it probably is different for teachers, though.

R226 are you joking? If a teacher sleeps with their student they'd be lucky to work again.

Remember when John Stape slept with Sally's daughter, got fired and had to take a job working with Big Awful Eileen as a taxi driver?!

And your suggested storyline would cause a huge backlash

R227 no it would be classic soap opera. The young teacher/older pupil story is classic, especially if Max is the aggressor. It is sad that just as we got to the point where you could tell the stories again, only with same sex participants, that we entered a time when such stories are now taboo.

Who will Norris leave his money to?

I don't think that's going to be brought up, r229. Perhaps to Freda?

He should give Ken some, and the money he got from no.3 back to Emily.

He can leave his undies to Mary.

Who is financially comfortable characters? Roy, Ken, Audrey, Rita?

Nina is really becoming tiresome these days.

I like Daniel and Daisy together.

I bet most, if not all, of the scenes in which the Baileys discuss racism are written by white people. They all seem so forced.

How do the child actors whoa re replaced feel? The kid who played Max from the beginning must be feeling a wee bit pissed right now.

I think sometimes they just want to be “regular kids” for a while. I did read somewhere that the earlier “Tracyluv” was pissed she was replaced, though.

Imran and Abi? Well I guess I know what the Christmas Day episode episode will be-Kevin finding out that Abi’s pregnant with Imran’s boobeh. And next year will be about Imran and Toyah fighting Abi to raise the boobeh as their own.

Abi was punching above her weight, landing Imran!

I predict Natasha will die in the sinkhole disaster.

I think Harvey will kill Natasha thinking she’s Leanne.

I gather the sinkhole disaster will include Johnny and Jenny and Johnny might die.

We're only one episode in, but I'm not enjoying the melodramatic vibe of the week so far. Reminds me of that weird Christmas episode where Shona got shot while hiding in a giant gift box. Plus, the CG storm is distracting me.

I hope Gail and Audrey are safe.

Is it asking too much that the sinkhole gobbles up Big Eileen or Sean?

I wouldn't mind Shona if she's still being annoying and childish. If she's back to herself then she can stay.

I like Natasha, that would be a waste.

Go Abi for getting that sexy pinga! Major upgrade from Kevin's greasy little wrench!

Oh god, R239, that fucking Christmas episode was truly awful. What the fuck were they thinking?

No way is Aadi dead. He'll have got himself to safety before the explosion, and will be pretty fucking livid with Dev for choosing to save Asha over him.

R242 It would really suck if he is because as an actor he is hundreds of miles ahead of Dev or Asha, he also looks better.

R243 I agree, he's very good. They only mentioned on death, and that's down the sinkhole. Would be lovely to watch Ma Grimshaw get swept away!

R244 I’m just glad Gail and Audrey are safe in London. Though with both a sinkhole and Harvey on the loose, I’m afraid for our dear Rita.

Anyone dead yet?

I’m confused. Corey and Abi fell through the sinkhole at Debbie’s Horrornation thing?

Well, at least Corey’s football career is over going by how injured he is.

R247 Sinkholes grow.

And those holes stink! Just like my pussy!

They're hinting so heavily that Johnny will die that I suspect it's a red herring.

Will Mellor (Harvey) is well fit!

If Johnny dies at least we’ll be spared Faye Brookes’ horrendous grief acting. When Rana died the weeping and wailing from Kate gave me migraines.

What happened tonight?

Watching tonight, I was on the edge of my seat the whole time wondering when the earth would open up and suck more of Weatherfield's finest citizens into the storm drains/sewer.

Where's Carla?

R255 Sitting in the Rovers, so far.

Thanks R256 I need to watch on catch up. When they first said it was the sinkhole that killed someone I thought it would be the Platt's garden. Didn't realise it had extended so far.

R257 [SPOILERS] ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Basically it is the sinkhole in the Platt garden that is expanding. According to tonight's episode that entire side of the street is unsafe. Jenny fell down the main Platt one and Johnny has crawled down to save her. Corey and Abi fell down one in the House of Horrors but are now out. Harvey fell in one that opened up in the street in the Horrornation area.

Does that mean the Knicker factory is unsafe?!

And Harvey's been washed out of a sewer pipe and found Abby's gun.

So is it Leanne who is the death?

I don't know what they were on when they wrote last night's episodes. Especially the bits where characters keep falling into sinkholes at the most dramatic possible moments. Harvey is such a lame villain.

Harvey will shoot Natasha in a case of mistaken identity. And the kid will turn nasty and blame Leanne. Until there’s a Christmas miracle and he sees his dead mum in a constellation,

But hasn't Leanne somehow managed to keep her wig on? This has to be a plot point, it was covered in duct tape!

Why doesn't Johnny just go up the ladder, open the trap door and scream?

The writing in these "Big" episodes is as shitty as those sewers

At least tonight's first episode wasn't as bad as Wednesday's ones. No sinkholes appearing at convenient moments, no cheesy fairground shots, more believable interaction between the characters. Was genuinely surprised that Roy lied to the police for Abi.

We all saw the twist shooting coming.

What's that twat Harvey doing waiting in a car if he has a plane to catch? Such bad writing

Well that was crap

I want Harvey in me, quite deeply.

I used to want the actor who played Johnny inside me quite deeply but he lost his looks about 20 years ago. But he really was sexy back in the day.

Did anyone mention Rita this week? Considering, she lives above the Cabin which is in the evacuation zone, her beloved foster daughter was trapped in the sewer, and her other foster daughter's homicidal criminal nephew is on the loose, she should have at least one scene. Remember the tram crash, the poor dear was trapped in the cabin and no one knew.

Rita was evacuated quickly from bed. Unfortunately she didn't have time to grab her orange wig, so she refused to appear on screen.

The one who should have more screen time was Carla, she only appeared at the end

Anyone else can't stand David?

Why didn't Gail get the sinkhole fixed when she inherited money?

R273 she had to use most of it to save the house from Debbie, after David’s idiocy.

Have to admit I cried when Natasha said goodbye to Sam. (Didn't shed a tear for Johnny, though.)

Natasha’s goodbye to Sam really was good. The writers finally delivered.

Natasha dies, Johnny dies, and that toad Simon lives.

Well, they’re obviously holding on to him so he’ll go postal and murder Sean, Fizz, Beth, Kirk and Izzy before turning the gun on himself. Like…duh.

R278 instead of Beth/Kirk can it be Eileen instead? And Billy?!

Oops, yeah, forgot about them. I’d add them to Simon’s hit list. I still want Beth/Kirk to be gunned down, too, though.

Good luck Simon!

I don't hate Kirk. Yes, he's cringey, but there are worse characters.

I'm actually quite liking Fiz for the first time since she got with John Stape. Jennie McAlpine is finally playing her as an adult woman, rather than relying on that babyish, exaggerated way of speaking. She's flawed (look how poorly she handled Hope's fire-starting) but she feels more like a real character now.

Maureen Lipman is now officially Corrie's first dame. For some reason I thought Julie Goodyear was one as well, but apparently she's only an MBE.

I really like Maureen and her character.

R282 well said, I agree too, the actress actually did some good work and I no longer hate Fiz

I fear this is only a blip for Fizz. I think Jenny McAlpine will once again have to resort to her cringe inducing cutesy voice and facial mannerisms.

If the writers compare the social media response to last week's episodes to this week's, they'll realise the fans don't watch Corrie for gimmicks and special effects.

If Curtis started entertaining gentlemen callers he could have his medical fees in one day. He's dreamy!

I think he’s very dull, though. He can die soon and I won’t miss him.

I thought they were going to have him break with Emma this week as some of the things she was saying to him were so stupid and inane, I thought how can anyone find this interesting?

Why can't scriptwriters stop making her so silly? She is a Ray of sunshine but can be grating

I like the actress who plays Emma but I’ve been fast forwarding through all her scenes with Alina, Steve and now Curtis.

They've made Emma a bit TOO dim. She's turned into a caricature.

R291 I agree. There is a fine line between dim but loveable and just annoyingly stupid. Sadly, Emma has been leaning much too much to the later.

I don't blame the actress. I think she is doing a great job. I blame the writers, some of the things they have her say would've made Rose Nyland roll her eyes at her.

Completely agree. They did this with Maria too, made her deeply dim to contrast her with Carla, back when Liam was cheating on her.

One of her lines while devouring a celeb magazine was was "Do you think Minnie Driver really drives a mini?"

Give good actresses decent lines!

They did nail it with Rosie Webster though, she was an amusing bimbo used to good effect.

I remember a cute scene with Emma and Maria chatting in Roy’s and Emma uses the term “literally” incorrectly, as so many of the kids do nowadays. Roy corrects her, Emma stands her ground and Maria jumps in with “Seriously. Don’t bother. You’re not going to win.”

I just don't buy Kevin and Abi as a couple (although Abi did look surprisingly sophisticated in her wedding dress). My dad thinks Kevin and Sally should get back together and Abi should end up with Tim. Incidentally, he didn't know Abi and Tim are together in real life.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I have to say I really like the child actor playing Sam. He is very natural and good. Even, silently, he made you really feel his emotional turmoil. He would've been huge in silent movies.

Also, I predict that at some point Kelly will return to the street and she and Jack will have a love affair and his new mommy isn't going to like it. There is only two years difference in their ages and the Jack actor is tall enough that it could work.

Surely Abi wouldn't be allowed to adopt Jack? Two of her bio kids had to be put up for adoption.

Yes, Abi is going to adopt Jack. Kelly will be living rough. (Has it occurred to no one to have Vicar Billy offer her housing? Oh yeah -- Billy has better people to help.)

I'm waiting for Kelly and Jack to get together. That'll do Abi's head in!

Did they ever find the true culprit of the flood, which actually blocked the storm drain

R300 Wasn't it just a torrential downpour?

How long has our Faye been in the slammer? It feels like she has done more time than anyone. Most of them are out within a few months.

It's been about a year since she went into HM Prison. It was around the time Ray got caught and Debbie took over. It does feel longer, though.

It hasn’t been a year, R303. She went in around February and was sentenced in April.

R304 why does it feel like two years or something

Hah, R305. I know what you mean. But she’s only been “inside” since April.

She ought to have got life for trying to kill big Scottish sausage Adam Barlow!

So long as the don't bring back Anna Windyass!

How do you know Adam has a large one.

They got rid of manboob Max, how long before Lily gets replaced.

Why haven’t they replaced the wretched child who plays Ruby? It’s patently obvious she will never be anything less than horrendous.

I've been thinking about this--would Corey have voluntarily admitted to killing Seb?

I think it was plausible, R311. He may well have realised that he simply couldn't convincingly explain away the evidence from the rucksack, and that it was therefore in his best interests to plead guilty in order get a lesser sentence.

And, unlike Greg in Succession, Corey actually won’t mind “misadventures” in prison.

I'm sorry, but Fiz's boyfirend's mum sounds like Dame Edna. I wasn't watching, just listening, when she first arrived and I honestly thought they had done some stunt casting and got Barry Humphries to bring Dame Edna to the cobbles.

I know it is wrong but after tonight's episodes, I still would really like a Daniel and Max affair much more than a Daniel and Summer one or even Daniel and Daisy.

They've written Daniel as depressingly straight. And they'd never do a gay teacher/student storyline. OFCOM would implode.

R316 Oh I know, which I think is sad. There are so many plots that could be recycled now with a gay/les/bi angle, but everyone has gotten so wound up they can't do it. But, having Max acting out, not because he has a crush on Summer but instead because he has a crush on Daniel would be so much more interesting.

Mini reminds me of Hyacinth Bucket.

Mimi I mean.

Is it just me or was Gary looking especially hot tonight? When he made that quip about Sally's big clipboard, I was like "fuck yeah, Gary. You want to see my clip board, big boy?"

And, I like how they are setting it up that dumb, little Emma is going to figure out what Curtis is doing before it is exposed.

That fucking awful kid who plays Ruby can’t even down a fucking pill onscreen.

Yes, I agree Gary looked hot but I really hope he finally gets his comeuppance in 2022. And by that I mean he ends up as one of George’s dead bodies.

R321 For the roof collapse?

R321, yes. He was absolutely responsible for that.

So do you think Gary is hung? Thick? Red fur or just a sprinkling?

I have a feeling he isn’t but he licks pussy like a champ.

I found it a bit of a stretch that 1) Ruby (who is nine, not three) would just swallow a random pill, and 2) Emma (who is dim as a 2-watt bulb) would remember medical jargon she heard ages ago word-for-word.

So how was the Christmas episode?

Watching it with the Christmas tea in about half an hour (in the States).

No tram crash, no deaths. A slapstick street fight, a disastrous dinner party between the Barlows and the Platts. And an unexpected return on the street.

Christmas episode was a bit ridiculous in parts, but I still enjoyed it. Possibly because I'd been drinking.

So The Chinless Wonder and Ken Barlow will be a couple in 2022?

All I know is if I'm having a party, I want to invite Audrey.

It is nice to have Roy back.

Abi's a hypocrite for giving Kelly such a hard time. Yes, Kelly behaved appallingly and helped to escalate the events that led to Seb's murder. But with a drug-addicted mother like Abi, Seb only survived to adulthood in the first place out of sheer luck. And Abi seems to have conveniently forgotten her own role in Natasha's death.

Some thoughts on the festive episodes:

Very glad Roy is back!

I hope they aren't going to pair Ken with Black Widow Gail!

Jenny got sick of playing the tearful widow, not that I blame her with that sexy rugger player!

Although her acting is great, I want the Abi storyline to evolve or move on now

Sick of Asha and Nina, they get too much screen time.

Who really cares about Fiz moving? The actress (who has actually impressed this year) isn't leaving so there are no stakes. Tyrone is an annoying ass.

Would still love to be enjoying Adam and Imran in that little office!

I preferred Asha and Nina as friends. They don't have chemistry as a couple, IMO.

Her Majesty has made Bill Roache (Ken) an OBE, and Cherylee Houston (Izzy) -- yes, really -- an MBE.

Well, I was right about Abi getting knocked up by Imran. Excuse me while I go take a fucking bow.

Cannot believe the Izzy actress got a royal honour. She was decent, for the first time in memory, with her isolation storyline but is usually counted on to stink up a scene.

Perhaps if the Royals get sent footage of Houston’s acting during the cannabis storyline the honour could be rescinded?

If the honour had just been for "service to people with disabilities" I could be like, ok. But, they foolishly added "service to TV Drama." I'm sure the tea lady behind the scenes of Corrie provides more "service to TV Drama," than Ms. Houston, MBE ever has or ever will provide.

I agree R341 if it hadn't been for services to drama then cool. The fact that it is for partially for acting is an insult to the likes of Helen Worth, Anne Kirkbride even Alison King who have no such recognition.

I'm sure the actress is lovely and I applaud her visibility but my goodness, she makes the actor playing Dev seem like Larry Olivier and Jenny "Fiz" McAlpine the new Judi Dench!

Do the terrace houses have 2 or 3 bedrooms upstairs?

R343 They have whichever is needed by the writers.

NuMax should definitely end up gay.

Who has the ugliest home on the street?

Yasmeen kicking out Alya and Zeedan is stupid. Especially Alya, who was her sole ally against Geoff.

Why did she kick them out? Doesn't she need their rent money?

She found out about the money laundering.

Good God, this Adam/Sarah storyline is such a mistake. It’s awful. Both characters should never have a major storyline, just buzz around in the background. With Adam presenting his hole from time to time.

I simply cannot sit through any more of Summer's whining about Oxford. I can't believe they're stretching this out even longer.

Remember when Todd was Oxbridge material? Far cry from the sad man we see now

Well tonight’s episode was dire on every front. Were we really supposed to give a shit about Joseph being missing?

I finally saw the xmas episodes up here in Canada.

Is it just my impression, or does Daisy looks so much better without all the make-up? I never understood why naturally pretty women cover themselves with so much make-up.

I think NuMax is more likely to get a boner checking out a Weathy County player in a jockstrap than he is by a photo looking up a girl’s skirt.

I usually watch every episode, but lately it has been so boring I've been skipping or fast-forwarding through most of them. And, yes if they don't do a teenage gay storyline with NuMax, the writers have lost the plot, because I'm certain he could hit that story out of the park!

Have Ken and Gail hooked up yet?

Gay or fey? Paddy Bever (age 20) plays Max Turner. Here he is with his "cute bear bag."

Gay, you just know Antony Cotton is scratching at that poor boys dressing room door.

Don't give me nightmares, R358!

The Emma/Faye storyline is painfully bad. Faye hits an elderly man with her car, then he just so happens to leave his crutch in the boot, then she and Emma just so happen to be the ones who find him dead the next day, then Craig just so happens to get injured shortly afterwards and starts using the crutch, then (and this is where it gets REALLY weird) he becomes freakishly obsessed with the crutch to the point of sending it for forensic testing in order to identify the owner. Did a twelve-year-old write this?

Wow, really, R359? I fast forward through all their scenes so I had no idea that was actually happening.

Such a stupid storyline

Yes, R360, it really is that ridiculous.

R359 That screams of rewrites, wonder if some other storyline was meant to be happening but an actor quit or fell ill and they had to rewrite quickly to cover it.

Sally was such a cunt to Tim in those last few scenes last night. I understand that maybe this is their way of writing Sally out so that Sally Dynevor can do that skating show but it still sucks. Being nasty to Tim is like kicking a puppy.

Hasn't Sally always been a cunt since Kev had his affair with Natalie?

I think it was after Kev knocked up that pudgy girl who got killed from falling debris after the tram crash.

They started rewriting Sally after the Natalie affair but she only started being discontented and bitchy after she and Kevin reunited to raise "the gurllls". She started in on private school, working at the car dealership and being generally dissatisfied with her lot on life.

^ Yes, I remember Sally having a personality transplant in the early 2000s.

What's happening on the cobbles?

Starting in March there will no longer be any 30min Corries. The show will now air three hour long episodes a week. The episodes will be on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On ITV they will air at 8:00pm.

Well, the show did have hour long episodes on Fridays anyway so it won’t be all that drastic a change. I think it’s a mistake having it be three hourlong episodes a week, though.

No one watching?

I am but fast forwarding through a LOT.

Daisy’s grown on me, glad they didn’t make her into a villainess.

As if Dev would look twice at Bernie.

R374 I mean Dev isn’t Robert Redford.

But why does he call her “honey”? It’s creepy. He barely knows her.

I see they’ve given Tim’s mother Elaine a personality transplant. She was never a meddlesome mum before. Maybe she has a malignant brain tumor.

This came up on rotation in YouTube music. Our Betty of the hotpots! Still happy to see her picture hanging in the Rovers.

No, R375, but he's the type of man who THINKS he's Robert Redford.

R378 I've never see her that young, she was a hotpot herself! I never got to see her on the show, since I started watching. But, I've watched some of the older episodes and she was great and I too am glad to see her picture hanging in the Rovers. I wish they would add one of Annie Walker and Hilda. When Jenny and Johnny bought the Rovers I thought she was going to become like Ms. Walker, but she hasn't. Sally, however, seems to have morphed into her over the last decade.

Doris Speed(Annie Walker) should be a patron saint of DL, I mean she collapsed on set after the media publicized the fact that she was 15 years older than she claimed and she never returned to work. That is a very DL scenario.

Doris Speed was a drama queen.

Does anyone remember how Daniel found out that David was raped?

Isn't it common knowledge?

I’m sure that viper Sean spewed it out in between hotpot handovers, R382.

Was probably Billy, AKA the worst Vicar in England.

R385 I mean, you aren't wrong. I am a Christian, and I'm happy to see a gay Christian minister but they should make him a much better one. When they wanted to make it seem like Emily didn't like him for being gay, I was like she has a million other reasons not to like him as her vicar because he just isn't very good at it.

They never did get back around to when he was in the car that killed Adam’s mother/Peter’s twin, did they?

OK, so Daniel did push Max but his satchel is what caused him to actually fall down the stairs? Why the hullabaloo?

Thanks, R383. For some reason I thought only David's immediate family (and Billy) knew.

I used to like Shona but she's so unpleasant now. Can't believe she blamed Daniel for Max being kicked out of AV Club. He broke into Daniel's flat and trashed it, FFS!

Yeah, I agree, R390. She’s had something of a personality transplant in the way Elaine has. But they can always blame this on her brain injury.

I'm hating the Lydia storyline.

I have a question, because of various things that have been going on in my life, I haven't watched since Faye and Emma accidently killed that old guy. Have I missed anything I need to really catchup on? I watch on Britbox US, so I'm on the same schedule as the UK.

Meh, nothing gripping has gone on, r393.

The show's been very weak recently. There's been a notable drop in quality since the start of 2022.

What's happening on the cobbles?

Nothing of interest, R396.

At this point, I can't understand why Adam would have any interest in salvaging his marriage to Sarah. She does nothing but nag him.

She’s being written very badly. I’d be perfectly happy if he ends up being with someone like Daisy.

It's been so dull recently. It's a sad state of affairs when misery-fest EastEnders has been funnier.

The new schedules start tomorrow so it will be interesting to see how the ratings are affected.

Why did Aggie tell Toyah that Kevin isn't the father of Abi's baby? It's none of her business.

Someone on Twitter joked that Daisy was a secret internet pornographer-I was disappointed when it turned out all she did was procure Spanish porn. It was called 51 Dates. I wonder if it was the straight version of Dawson’s 51 Load Weekend.

Well done, Corrie writers -- I did [bold]NOT[/bold] see that plot twist coming!

R403 Tonight? I've been keeping up with the storylines but I haven't actually watched in weeks, should I therefore check out tonight's?

I'm glad Adam's big horny cock gets to live another day!

You'd think someone would have taught Faye how to use contraception by this point.

I've probably posted this here. I watched Corrie from 2005 - 2011. Religiously, on the Canadian channel from either Vancouver Island or Vancouver B.C.. Anyway, the last episode I watched was Lloyd running quiz night at The Rovers when Rita was there and Norris from the newspaper shop had his brother in from out of town.

For some strange reason I couldn't maintain interest after that. There wasn't anything offensive, my interest just cracked and faded.

The show is a genuine chore to get through nowadays. I fast forward through most of if. So little in it is working.

Imran, Adam and Jenny's rugby boy toy are the only sexy guys on the show. Anyone else?

Adam’s good looking.

Oops, of course you mentioned him already, R409, sorry.

It’s time to bring back Tracy’s old flame Rob Donovan. His prison stint should be over soon, right? He was hot.

I don't know R411 I don't think he's served much more than 7 years, plus he escaped once. I would definitely listed him too, I would have riden his hairy pinga in the factory office, with all those trashy machinists watching!

Where the fuck is Friday’s episode of Coronation Street on BritBox US?

Another BritBox/ITV fuck up, r413. It's on there now.

Yep, R414, it finally showed up late yesterday afternoon-after I’d already been spoiled about Toyah finding out about Imran, Abi and Alfie.

Surely it would be much worse for Elsie to go back into the care system - and potentially never find an adoptive family - than to be adopted by Toyah, who clearly loves her?

I am so fucking sick of Saint Toyah. I want a tram to land on her.

Come on, you know Toyah and Imran will reunite and fight Abi for custody of Alfie. Toyah far prefers raising a boobeh than a little girl like Elsie, anyway.

Charlie de Melo is leaving Corrie, apparently.

Toyah is like Nina, on the US General Hospital, they are the only two characters from soaps that I can remember where the central issue for their characters has become their overwhelming need to mother a child, yet they can't have one of their own. Others have, of course, shown a desire to have a baby. But, it seems to be all either of them talk about and the only thing they care about.

I fully expect Emma to return after a year explaining that only a month later in Australia did she discover that John was a big ol’ closet case.

I suspect the same, R421. Emma goes for extremely bland guys who ping.

The contrast between the two exits in last night's episode was stark. Laura's death was powerful; Emma's exit was so poorly written it was embarrassing. She's dropping everything and running off to Australia with a man she barely knows, shortly after telling him she was involved in his grandad's death? That was the best they could come up with?

Toyah is very forgiving of Imran’s cheating. Is she being a doormat or do you see good things in their future?

R423 I'm sure what Toyah sees is Imran's big hairy cock as her future!

It's a shitshow. I hope Toyah and Imran get hell for what they're doing. Imran should be struck off the rolls as a solicitor. And Toyah should lose her credentials as any type of counselor.

[quote] Is she being a doormat or do you see good things in their future?

Funny, because I've always thought Toyah actually looks like a doormat.

Some people think Toyah is only pretending to go along with this so she can screw over Imran. If this is true it would be really stupid. Imran’s not a bad guy and what he did was explainable.

I want more Todd! Who is he going to betray next? I want more bad-boy Todd.

I still want Bruno Langley back as Todd. This NuTodd just doesn’t do it for me at all-he’s strictly a place holder.

I haven't watched it for a few weeks, is it still shite?

Oh yes, R430. The opening scene last night with Gail and David was faintly bizarre-so badly written. I feel sorry for Helen Worth.

What did Gail have to say?

How could the soap be improved? Have Rita and Ken sleep together again? Have Audrey become an alcoholic?

R433 become an alcoholic?

I haven’t watched it for many years. I prefer Buggernation Street on YouTube. They dub old episodes from the 70s with mad plots, and all the residents of the street are sexual perverts trying to outdo each other. My favourite is when widowed barmaid Betty develops a crush on transsexual sexpot Bet Lynch.

Charlie de Melo (Imran) is leaving and Spider (Toyah's ex) is coming back.

I wish Summer had died in that police cell. She's so annoying.

R436 Are they going to kill Emily off? With Spider's return it makes absolutely no sense to claim she is living in Scotland.

Spider was a minger

Spider was a tree hugger. It makes perfect sense to reteam him with Toyah after Imran goes.

Will he be called Jeffrey now he's pushing 50? Will he have conformed and now work in finance?

What will he think of the renovations in "Aunty Em's" house?

Ryan Thomas in bathing suit. Oh my. Dude’s got a killer bod and packing heat. Dayum.

Colton whatsisname? Not so much.

Sorry, I meant Colson Smith. I do admire him for losing all that weight, though. He doesn’t go shirtless for this so I guess he’s still working on reducing his manboobs.

Ryan Thomas. What a tush!

Good god, I’ve had enough of the Trials of Abi.

It should be over soon. All the clues are in this teaser, I've read.

The Sally/Tim stuff last night was actually very good. I loved Sally spilling everything to Gail.

I hope Anthony Cotton (Sean) gets monkeypox so he’ll finally get the fuck out.

Hopefully Imran can now do nudity once he leaves the cobbles

That Gail/Eileen scene at the Manchester bombing memorial was very touching. RIP Martyn and the 21 other victims.

Fiz is such an enabler. She was so desperate that she proposed to John while he was in prison for kidnapping the teenager he'd cheated on her with. He killed two people and she's still defending him a decade later. She does the same with Hope - look at how she covered for her after she set fire to Tyrone's flat. It's not John's genes that turned Hope into a demon child, it's Fiz's parenting.

Remember when Gail was dating the guy who wanted to write a book on Richard Hilman? Recycled storyline.

Mother of fucking Christ what does the piece of shit who plays Sean have on ITV executives? Why is he still there? And why did they give him so much to do in last night’s episode?

R452 Honestly, I think he must have some kind of gay #Metoo thing that they are desperate to not be exposed.

I really do think that, R453. There’s no other reason why he is still there stinking up every damn scene he’s in.

R452 - last year, celebrity agent Melanie Blake said:

[quote] There’s an actor on Coronation Street right now that literally begged a female producer. When she called him in to fire him, he literally begged her on his knees and sobbed hysterically. It was so awful that she actually ended up not firing him – and he’s still on the show to this day. It’s funny because I knew that story and then a few people who I know have read the book and said: ‘Oh, that’s him!

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if this were Antony Cotton. It seems consistent with his public persona. I get the impression that Coronation Street is his dream job, and it's not as though casting directors would be queuing up if he were sacked. He's somehow managed to avoid the axe for the best part of two decades despite being unpopular with the fans. Although the producer in question must be long gone, her successors may wish to avoid a repeat performance.

Uhhh, then don’t call him in, then! Just send Sean’s pathetic ass to London for a “visit” and never bring him back.

No such luck, r456. There's a big storyline coming up involving Sean and his son's return to the cobbles.

I don’t buy the hype it will be a “big storyline,” though. Not if they want to keep their ratings from dipping even further.

It could be a way of getting rid of him. A move to London, I say a move to London!

So is Sean’s son going to be a homophobe who, together with a gang, beat up Sean’s new bf?

Hilarious how his last contract was spun as "a big money deal" when it was only for a year. So yes, they could write him out by the end of 2022 according to this report.

Imran had a hot (hairy) ass but couldn’t live forever.

And yet Sean lives.

I was surprised they killed Imran off. I knew he was leaving, but I thought he'd just leave in disgrace after revealing he stitched Abby up. RIP the best eye candy on the Street.

Fuck this show for killing off Imran but still hanging on to that rat faced Gary Windass who was responsible for killing his sister.

I’m impressed by Toyah’s lawyer Kim Wallis. The actress has gorgeous eyes and a fabulous voice. I predict she’ll be a new love interest for Adam.

Sue Nicholls was fabulous in last night’s episode.

Is it just me or does the older looking schoolboy blackmailing Max look like he’s got a touch of Downs Syndrome? Good looking guy.

The actor playing Audrey's son is awful! How on Earth did he get the part?

Jesus, he really is. He got the role years ago because he was an American residing in the UK and Audrey’s son is Canadian.

I can’t get his horrendous line reading of “She’s in a bad way!” out of my head now. And he’s painful to look at, too.

I renember Sue Nicholls refused to do an alcoholism story years ago as she felt it painted older people in a negative light and preferred to keep the character vibrant and not sad.

Guess they talked her around.

Another reason Sean hasn't been killed off is because of the writer Jonathan Harvey, he had a big part in hiring Anthony as they're good friends and Jonathan has a lot of pull at Coronation Street. Another reason was that Anthony sucked up big time to Tony Warren, the creator who was gay, Tony was very against any ideas of axing one of the few gay characters on the street after years of struggling to get one on screen.

But he's an awful representation of a gay man and is such a poor actor. When they try to give him a big story he can never pull it off, such as homelessness or being cheated on by the ventriloquist's dummy...

Bump

Spider's return is actually a bit... sad.

I haven’t watched in awhile did they at least mention Emily? I mean Spider around and no Emily, they should mention something.

I don’t know, I’m fast forwarding through all of Spider/Toyah’s scenes now.

I liked the Evelyn/Mimi scenes in tonight’s episode.

Mimi is a low-rent Hyacinth Bucket.

Poor Phill. He's a nice (and kind of hot) bloke. He deserves better than Fiz. Tyrone cheated on her with Gemma and eventually left her for Alina, and she still dumped her husband at their wedding reception for him? Glutton for punishment.

The show's been quite fun recently, though, largely due to Evelyn.

I just wish Maureen Lipman would stop that annoying mannerism of sucking in air between her bottom teeth before she delivers lines.

You know the show will now turn Phil into a villain to try and force the audience to sympathise with Tyrone and Fizz.

Excuse me, R480-it’s PHILL.

Phill is woofy.

How the hell can Fiz give up Phill for dreary Tyrone??

It’s such a stupid storyline. This show is unwatchable. It’s sad.

R483 I can only imagine that Tyrone must give some great dick. It is basically the only way to explain his love life.

I would pay to see Phill and Tyrone fuck.

The only interesting things about Tyrone or Fiz were their parental figures - Jack, Vera, Jackie, Cilla, Hayley and Roy.

She would give up that house to move back into the second ugliest house in the street?

How much money can Audrey still have? Alf's life insurance was invalidated as he died after midnight in the new year. She bought Gail's house when Richard was unmasked as a crook. She's always on the piss.

Kelly’s going to be kidnapped? Giving another opportunity for Gary to “redeem himself”? Can’t wait.

Who gives af about Kelly?

They should do a heartfelt story about homophobia, having Sean murdered on a night out and Eileen killed after being mistaken for a female impersonator.

Audrey needs to stop bring such a tiresome old bitch and to be fucking grateful she still has her family around her.

Yea I don't know why she's being such a sour old harpy, if Richard had his way her whole family would have been wiped out in the canal.

I don't give a rat's fart about that scruffy man who's currently shagging Yasmeen either

I don't see why Wendy is apologising to Ken and he accepting it like a victim. He's the one who broke Deidre's heart by rogering Wendy like there's no tomorrow

Ken always did like a bit of rumpy pumpy-or as they call it in the North-“roompeh poompeh.”

Oh I looked it up, seems Wendy lied to Deidre in 2012 and told her Ken had been stuffing her marrow again, when all he did was pass out on her couch.

I want to know who found Audrey. Did she have second thoughts about killing herself and call the ambulance herself?

Maybe it was Bet.

Did she really try to kill herself? If so, she must be going crazy as the Audrey we know would never do that to her beloved Gail.

Phill says goodbye to the Street. Dammit, he was a woofy bear.

Ok I was going to watch Corrie again, but according to this thread Audrey is in the middle of a depressing storyline, so I'll just wait. I love Audrey, she is like the cool aunt everybody loves. I'll wait until y'all tell me it is over.

Poor Kevin is cracking up good and proper.

Oh goody ... Another love interest ....

WTF? I almost wish the asshole who plays Sean gets monkeypox.

I think Cotton must be one of the few who looks worse with a hair transplant, must've gone cheap for it.

Antony Cotton is a horrible bitchy queen in real life.

I don't know why they keep casting relatively cute guys to go out with Sean, it's unrealistic.

You could look like Sean and get hotties if you were a great person, or intelligent, or wealthy. Sean is the opposite of all three.

Anthony reportedly has a say in the casting of his love interests. One of the very actors who has say in casting.

Why do the producers not realise his character is intensely disliked? Having a gay character might have been an important step forward 20 years ago but no need to keep him hanging around, like a fart in a wardrobe

I think Cotton must know something about something horrible that would harm Corrie or ITV, that is the only reason I can think of for Corrie's continued pushing of him.

He's the gay minstrel. A fucking embarrassment.

R513

I still don't like their characters but the actresses who play Izzy and Fiz(zy) actually did some decent acting this last year.

Cotton on the other hand has never once given anything above than local am-dram. He really is the turd of the cast. Even fucking Dev has been excellent on rare occasions!

I wish Summer would slip into a diabetic coma and die.

How much money does Audrey have? Did those two grandsons have to repay her?

Coronation Street to bring back Will Mellor as evil Harvey Gaskell.

He's well fit!

^^^ He looks like a mean fuck from Men At Play.

The episode where Audrey confided in her friends about attempting suicide was great. This is your strong point, Corrie! We don't need sinkholes and shootings!

R520 Do you know what day that was? I haven't watched in months but I'd love to see a vet heavy episode.

I think it was Monday the 15th, R521. You might want to fast-forward through the Faye/Craig dreck in that episode, though.

R522 Thanks.

Last night’s was 100% fast-forwardable.

Does the little bitch who plays Summer know shit about the higher ups like the big bitch who plays Sean?

I have never cared less about any fictional character than I do about Summer.

Why does Dylan have a northern accent when he grew up in London?

Dylan’s a fugly looking kid. So he’s good casting as the spawn of Sean.

Jenny's boyfriend is well fit. Figures he's doing a runner.

I didn’t like Jenny’s boyfriend. He was a lump. Not even charming.

Will that's it for Leo. And Kelli left the street too.

Good. Now they need to get rid of Sean.

I bet Shona will be one of Stephen’s victims, only she’ll survive. The actress is off on maternity leave.

Shame that gorgeous rugger player was bumped off, I would have sucked his cock and balls in the ginnel behind the Rovers Return in front of that old slag Jenny

OMG, will they just kill off Summer already? Jesus. This show is mostly unwatchable.

It's been unbearable recently. Tracy calling Ken a geriatric gigolo the other night was funny, though. Who would have guessed Tracy would eventually become one of the best characters?

Another teen pregnancy storyline coming up. Kill me now.

Bernie being duped by her doppelganger is literally the only storyline worth watching nowadays.

When will that twat Peter grow up? There are no attractive men on this show

When will that twat Peter grow up? There are no attractive men on this show

No, Blanch and Dierdre died. Ken is and has always been a marhmallow who lwas enamoured with Mike Baldwin. Hence the anger with Dierdre shagging him before he did.

There are no hotties since that rugger got murdered by that loser Stephen

New character. Luke Delany plays Dave Fairchild, a white supremicist.

Mmm R540 he's a horny piece of stuff even if his character is a turd

I want him in me, quite deeply.

I'd give him a bj right outside Roy's Rolls, with Rita and Audrey gwarping!

And Sean would be furiously rubbing one out in the ginnel. And I do mean furiously. Because he’s one jealous fugly bitch.

I wonder if the actor playing Steve is away in rehab. Or a fat farm.

He's on a drag competition show

r544 only because he couldnt get a man in the show. the only reason that vile queen is still on the show is because he's fucking one of the top blokes at ITV. Notice Gail never seems to interact with him, Popbitch dropped a juicy titbit about one actor never wanting to work with him - everyone thought it was the woman playing Dierdre Barlow, but now she's gone...

My god, this show desperately needs a major overhaul. ITV needs to grow some balls and needs to do what needs to be done.

I know, R548. They should axe about half the cast. Far too much deadwood.

I'd forgotten that Griff is a hardcore environmentalist. How many white nationalist eco-warriors are there, except for the Manson family?

The kid playing Hope can’t act for shit. And the kid playing Ruby still looks off to the side in the middle distance where I guess her mother is feeding her lines. She never looks at who she’s supposed to be looking at.

I'm about to cancel Britbox, the show is so bad lately.

^ It's appalling! I wish they would replace the current producer. People complained a lot about Kate Oates making the show too dark, but it was so much more watchable than it is now. Above all, I want them to axe Summer, along with her weirdly-asexual-throupled dads.

I don’t think the girl playing Summer is bad, it’s just the writers have inexplicably turned Coronation Street into The Summer Show and most people don’t tune into that particular show for the young people.

Daisy, surprisingly, has gradually become one of the more likeable characters.

And I'm actually finding Daniel quite sexy too for the first time. I'll polish him off after Adam

It may be mainly unwatchable these days but it's good they are revisiting Ken's old affairs with Martha and Wendy. I wonder if he's on Viagra?

Audrey needs to get her old pussy stuffed, that will cure he depression

R557, I think it was made pretty clear he didn’t have sex with either Wendy or Martha these past few months.

Stephanie Beacham doesn't look so bad for 75.

Martha wanted Ken on her barge

For them to live it up large

Her pussy was gagging

But her titties were sagging

So Ken was as soft as cheese

He said "I'd rather have me Denise"

Martha was crushed, her ego was mushed

And dead-Deidre was filled with great glee

Peter the greasy scheming bookie

Wanted for a bit of extra nookie

The nasty slimy cheat

Met Hayley on the street

He asked "Fancy a shag?..

I heard you're a dirty slag!"

Hayley grinned and winked

With his arm she did link

"Look know I'm a tranny..

But I've got a tight fanny

I'll get you in a lather

Make you scream like your father

And send you home with a sore arse!"

Young Adam Barlow felt frisky

Wanting some sex that was risky

So he bent Imran over his desk

Naked except for his vest

Licked out his hole

Pushed in his pole

Pumped away like a cat

Made him scream like Gail Platt!

And splodged all over the sofa

R561/R562/R563, now do one using the words “Liz” and “jizz.”

R564 glad you chose Liz and not Fiz!

Another hot man on the cobbles. Ciaran Griffiths plays Damon, Jacob's dad

Meh R566 he'd do for a quickie after a few pints in the Rovers but he's no Imran

There was an old scrubber named Liz

Who liked to bathe herself in Jizz

She believed it kept her looking young

Although she actually resembled old dung

She'd take spunky donations from locals

Though most of them were inbred yokels

They'd pump it into a "Rovers" pint glass

While Liz slipped a finger up their ass

Out that hot Jizz would squirt

Then Liz pulls up her skirt

For the men like to see her black muff

While they wank out their stuff

Thanks, R568!

How bad are the Christmas period episodes? I’m spending the holidays in The Netherlands where I can get BBC1 and 2 but not ITV. And my BritBox app doesn’t work here and I won’t go the VPN route.

R570 if you're into Fiz&Tyrone and their wedding then you might be missing out. Looks like a damp squib.

Does anyone else find Daniel sexy? I wonder if he has a nice dick

Why would Laurence look twice at Sean?

Heaven knows

They should once and for all get rid of Sean and bring in Layton (Beautiful People, Everybody’s Talking About Jamie) Williams as a new gay bartender in the Rovers.

Some people posit the Sean actor must be blackmailing someone high up at ITV to have kept his job in the face of 20 years of awful acting

Tony Warren refused to have Sean axed when it was brought up, he didn't want the first openly gay character in the show to be axed and this saved Cotton for a while. When he passed, it was again brought up but one of the long term writers, who has influence and is a good friend of Cotton's, dug his heels in and said no. The final rumour is that Kate Oates came the closest to axing him, and briefly for a few minutes did, but when informed that his contract wasn't going to be resigned he broke down in her office and begged her not to fire him and she relented.

Well, enough is enough. The actor and character are repulsive.

Yeah he's an amateur. Eileen is no great actress either, she must have got her job on the casting couch.

r573 cataracts? glaucoma? fingers crossed a potential murder storyline with the vacuous queen being severely and graphically beaten to death on screen

R580 that wouldn't explain it as he can presumably still here the screeching idiot. He'll still be stinking up the screen in 10 years to come.

Even his supposedly hard-hitting homeless storyline was a disaster as he can't carry anything weighty by himself

r581 was that the one where he sat in a tent in the park for an episode crossing and uncrossing his arms? Why did they kill off the goth lad in a hate crime storyline, The whole LGBT community in the UK would tune in live to see that cunt get the fucking beating he deserves (even if it is just acting)

R582 lol you're bringing back bad memories! I wonder if conceited Cotton thought he'd sweep the awards with his dramatic acting?!

r583 well that is the extent of his dramatic range - otherwise it's just Miss Cotton. At least I can play at being sober...

R584 fuck you ginger pubes! I still haven't forgiven you for not loaning me the coin t'buy Rovers! Hope that toffee shop crumbles round your ears you clapped out chorus girl!

r585 Excuse ME, lady - I've got a few things to scrag that madam about for before you sick your oar in

R586 just watch your mouth you trollop! Comin round here screamin' the odds, lowerin' the tone!

r587 Anymore of that, Mrs Sharples you will be bringing the chapel's reputation down and I will have no other resort to evict you.

Please everyone, let's calm down and join me in a prayer for peace. This intolerable screaming is bringing on one of my migraines!

r589 The tribal orgies in the rain forest getting to you now. And how exactly did you get internet access deep in the Congo? Very surprised at your interest - you never bought a single carton of UmBongo when I worked for Rita

Shut your gob Mavis, no wonder dopey Derek left you at the altar. Your Fanny's as dry as our Gail's barm cakes!

At least Mavis is a Christian woman, unlike you and your Gail. Never no good for my Brian she wasnt.

Fuck off Ivy, call yourself a Christian and off on "retreat" when you're actually having your ugly little face pulled and tucked! Leaving me to cover for you with Baldwin!

Ladies, please. I'm a sensitive closted homosexual and all this trouble is causing my gastritis to flare up again. Not to mention being tied up in a two berth caravan with Scary Mary

She was with me - she tricked me, claimed she could get a good price on some pigeons and a whippet

Norris is a homosexual?! Well my giddy Aunt! Although that does explain why the gnomes' hats smelled like shit..

Excuse my beauty!

R597 can't believe I ever diddled that clapped out old hag!

Without makeup

r598 nobody ever belived you did Alec - you big old Mary Ann

You can sod off Blanche, at least none of my kids have ever been in jail!