Who is the craziest guy you ever fucked?

My first bf, unforch. Stayed with him on and off for two years. Drama queen, sexual compulsive, and nuts.

It's amazing I managed to have a decent relationship after him!

Evangelical Christian in seminary! But hawt!

All my exes are boring!

Which I guess means I’m the crazy one!!! 😈😂👹

Guy I was seeing for some months, but at the end of the day I decided I wanted to break up as I felt the chemistry was really not in the kiss. Great guy, self-made, handsome and a wonderful guy and catch for someone else, just not for me. IN fact friends said I'd be made for life with him, but I'm no gold digger and it didn't feel right.

He burst into tears and went apeshit. I thought he was going to murder me.

What I had not realized was that he was on the autistic spectrum-it just never occurred to me.

Hope he found someone. I did feel bad about breaking up.

I fucked a San Francisco dude that screamed at the top of his lungs. At first I thought I was hurting him. Nope. Just loved to be fucked good and hard and for a long time. Exhausting. I’m sure he woke the dead in Daly City.

This one guy convinced me we coudl have it all. He even jumped on a black woman's couch.

Then we joined Scientology.

Then I secretly divorced him.

Now, he just lives a gay life.

A straight married man who I met in the parking lot of a dirty book store in Houston. He was very handsome and very hairy. Body hair is my number one turn on. When we got back to my house we went to my bedroom and took off our clothes. When I saw his thick hairy chest, I put my hand on it and he screamed at me, "Don't touch me!" So I never did touch him again. A few minutes later he asked me to piss on him. I didn't need to pee so he asked if he could piss on me. I said yes, I had never done watersports before. He told me to get in the bathtub. As soon as his warm pee hit my crotch I came without even touching myself. I had my cat litter box in the bathroom and the next thing I saw him pick up cat litter and put it into a pipe he had and smoked it. Then he went walking around my house searching for something, opening drawers in my kitchen. Finally he found a fork. He then sat on my staircase and started poking his cock with the fork. (I threw the fork away after he left.) The next day when I shared this story with a friend, he told me that the guy was a meth head. I asked him how he knew that. He said that when the guy was smoking the cat litter, he was on a "carpet safari." And then explained the meaning of that to me.

[quote] . As soon as his warm pee hit my crotch I came without even touching myself.

There's more than one crazy person in this story.

He was a Christian slam poet....

More on smoking cat litter please. I've never heard of that.

I hooked up with a guy who tied string around his balls and asked me to pull the string hard everytime he said daddy. After that, he fell asleep, I went to the bathroom and when I walked back to his room I passed a spare room and took a look, pictures of him with an older man, I'm guessing his father, were plastered all over the walls. The pictures on the furthest wall were of the the guy when he was a kid, naked and sitting on his father's lap. By the corner was an urn and in front of it a small piece of string. I got my clothes and ran like a madman.

R10, it's a meth thing.

He thought the cat litter was meth

His name was Lindsey....

Lunatic who left insane messages on my work voice mail in the early 00s tearfully declaring that he was going to a bathhouse and let anyone fuck him bare and give him AIDS so he would die - all because I wouldn't go out with him anymore.

A guy whose studio apartment walls were lined with cuckoo clocks that went off at only vaguely the same time.

Hahaha. I met a guy in an adult book store, where I was buying a couple DVD's. We cruised each other for a bit, I made my purchases, then left. He followed me to my car. We ended up talking for a long time and exchanging numbers. He called me a few days later and we agreed to meet for dinner. We went on a few more dates before he slept over. He wanted to fuck, but I felt that I didn't know him well enough, so we just gave ech other head. Fast forward a couple months, and we finally fucked. He had a monster dick and it wouldn't stay hard, so I fucked him. It was wildly satisfying!

We were going to meet up one night and he canceled sort of last minute. So I hopped in the car and went to buy a new DVD. I saw his car in the parking lot and thought, great minds... But I didn't see him anywhere in the store. I shopped for a DVD and at check out I told her clerk that my friend's car was in the lot, but I didn't see him there. He said he was probably in the "arcade." The what?!

tl;dr I went into the disgusting booth area at the very far back of the store. Ignoring the strong odors, I walked down a dimly lit hall and turned the corner. There was my new friend, bent over sucking a dick while another guy was fucking him from behind. I shot out of there and went home. I wasn't hurt; rather I was shocked. He was a wild fuck to be sure, but how crazy was he to bend over in a porn arcade and get fucked? This was in the early 2000's in West Hollywood.

Oh god. I’m almost 50 and was fucking a 24 year old on a first hookup and accidentally moaned “I love you” as I came. And he looked at me with all the earnestness in the world and said “Do you? I love you too!”

We fooled around for a few more weeks and I discovered he was wickedly bipolar and mean. Told him it was over and he threatened to KILL himself repeatedly in text and voicemail.

He didn’t and it’s been about a year, so I think we’re good, but I really opened a can of worms that I was totally not prepared for.

Sleepwalker who in the middle of the night would get up and piss in the corner of the room.

OP, you must be from Philly too.

Someone who was a great fuck. I was stupid enough to not leave it at that. I tried to turn him into a BF because he was exactly my physical type. We didn’t get out of bed for three days. I was young and dumb, and ignored the signs. Turns out he had Borderline PD and stalked me for years. Live and learn.

I was chased in college by a gay guy who said he was part biologically woman because he had periods. Judy Garland was his spirit guide (no kidding here) and he'd talk to her photo. He'd sit in front of my house and later my apartment all night.

Ugh.

What were his "periods" - anal leakage?

An undercover DEA agent (I picked him up at the notoriously druggy nightclub where I worked.

I spooked him as Law Enforcement, we ended up chatting, and split a cab uptown because we lived around the block from each other. Instead we ended up at his apartment having sex where he CROWED LIKE A ROOSTER as he came and he came 4 times! He also repeatedly called me Mommy as he ejaculated.

What a fucking NUTJOB!

I'm now relieved my sex life has been relatively boring.

A guy who moved to England to become a vicar. Before he left, post-sex he hissed at me, “Just go!” So I left. The next time I saw him he asked me why I split so fast, & I told him um, you told me to leave. He insisted he told me to spend the night! I think he must’ve been drunk. He also used to visit sex clubs. One plus, he turned me on to Sex & the City.

The Vicar .. I'm not surprised!

I was 21 yrs old, not officially out, and I met this gorgeous blond guy at Uncle Charlie's in the west village. He was really drunk but I didn't care. We walked a couple blocks to his house, he took me into his bedroom, we got undressed, and he motioned for me to stick my dick in his mouth. I happily obliged. He passed out. Fast asleep. Snoring..... Inexperienced, I really didn't know what to do, so I pulled out, put my clothes on and left.

About a year later, (maybe more?), I'm back at Uncle Charlie's, and there he was. I immediately recognized him, but he didn't seem to remember me. As he chatted me up, it was obvious he had no recollection, and once again, invited me back to his place. He was really fuckin' hot, and I really wanted to fuck him. It couldn't happen a second time, right??

EXACTLY like the first time.

Was I the crazy one?

I've commented about this before, but it was some guy me and a FB responded to a CL ad we posted for a threesome. He came and it turned out he was in Afghanstan and lost a leg below the knee. He was otherwise attractive and had a great cock, so we proceeded to go for it and had a good time.

I met with him a time or two one on one, and then one night, I was engaged with the other guy who had engaged in the threesome with all of us. The not-included guy had been calling me all night but I hadn't answered because I was having awesome sex with the other guy and not looking at my phone at all.

One-leg dude shows up while we're otherwise engaged and tries to enter my house through a garage door. My neighbors hear him and call the cops and he hightails it out of there.

The next day, I received several voicemails from someone claiming to be a detective down in Oakland, and that they've found this guy dead in his vehicle of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. I am the last phone # he called, allegedly. I call the call-back # and the "detective"i spoke with has the same exact deep voice with the same inflections as one-leg dude. I hung up and after researching reports online and calling the Oakland P.D. and confirming that there had been no overnight discoveries of GSW inflicted bodies, stopped taking his calls.

Over the course of the next week, he calls me over 100 times and leaves messages on my voicemails, exposing that it's him and he's not dead. I just stopped responding. That dude had some issues, probably surrounding his amputated leg, which wasn't even an issue to me at all. I just think he got really attached very quickly to me when I was clear that I wasn't looking for a "relationship"...we met during a damn threesome!

Missed a comma in the first sentence between "some guy" and "me."

R16 what were you engaged in when the cuckoo clocks went off?

These are the kinds of threads that make me return to DL. More please!

Totally cute blond guy I cruised on the street in the Village. Seemed a little odd - made me think he may be homeless. Having sex, pretty wild - and he starts talking to someone. It took me a little to realize he was hearing voices and talking to them. I very delicately and diplomatically finished up and said I had to go meet friends. He wanted to stay - while clearly still distracted by the voices in his head. I was so grateful when I finally got him out of my apartment.

My lesson that you can’t judge by looks. He was a gorgeous, clean cut seemingly normal guy - must have been the early stages of schizophrenia. He wasn’t on meth.

There was one guy I spent a weekend with. On the last day, I left and he told me that, if he didn't live in a different city, he could see himself falling in love with me and he wished he didn't have to go back, which I found very flattering and sweet. Funny that he never contacted me again when he returned home. Guess it couldn't have been that deep of a connection. Excellent cock sucker, though. One of the best.

There was also one really cute guy who worked in an animal hospital I think. Balding, but with an adorable face, beautiful eyes, and the best body I've ever seen. His ass was a work of art. We went on one legitimate date where he seemed sort of standoffish about doing anything intimate. I don't even think we kissed. About a month later, he starts texting me telling me about how he wants me to fuck him, but it always had to be on his time. He'd text randomly at 2:30 in the afternoon and stuff. I fucked him twice and then got kinda weird about it. He only wanted to be fucked from behind and never wanted to see me. I started thinking that maybe he was one of those weird guys who was ashamed about sex and could only get off if he didn't see the guy who was fucking him.

R29, that's CRAZY

My ex boyfriend.

He was diagnosed as bipolar and was on his doctor prescribed meds but thought he could manipulate his dosage strengths based on how he was feeling that week. As you might imagine that NEVER worked out well and only further amplified his mood swings and compulsive shopping habits.

He was also in a heavily co-dependent, non-sexual relationship with his gay best friend and the best friend's boyfriend. To the point where my boyfriend told them both EVERYTHING I said - even if it had nothing to do with them. Things I had said in confidence about my personal struggles to things I screamed during sex. And then they would joke and mock me when they saw me.

The final straw was when he told me I would always be a third priority behind them because he had known his friends longer. Mind you this was on the fifth year of our relationship and one year after we were engaged.

Worst relationship of my life, but it also made me realize how little I valued myself at the time to stay with someone like that. Never again.

I haven't seen or spoken to him in a number of years - but heard he's in a new relationship. God help that person.

I was 19 and hooking with up an older guy at the time, I'll call him Kent, he was in his early 40s, in good shape, had a hot southern accent and was an amazing fuck. We hooked up for around 6 months. I started dating someone, I'll call him Zack, and told Kent that I couldn't meet him anymore because I was being monogamous... that lasted. Anyways, one night, around 1 in the morning my dog started barking in the living room, I lived on a first floor apartment at the time, I went to check out what was happening, I looked through my blinds and couldn't see anything but I then noticed something taped to the window. I went out front, with my german shepherd just incase, and taped to the window was a picture of me that had been taken while I slept, on the back of the picture he had written "I miss you xx". I freaked the fuck out and called Zack, who drove over straight away and I was contemplating whether to go to the police but Zack told me that they wouldn't care and there's no point. Zack stayed for a few days and nothing else happened.

I was at work a few weeks later and received a call from upstairs neighbor to tell me that my dog had escaped from my apartment and was running around the street, I thought it was strange as I was sure I locked my door when I left that morning. I couldn't leave work so I called Zack to see if he could go over and make sure Hunter was safe, an hour passed and I received a call from Zack and he asked if I had left my door unlocked, I told him I don't think I had, there was no sign off a break-in. He then said there's something else, he took a pause, whoever had broken into my apartment had covered my bedroom in pictures of me sleeping, eating, some sex pics and others of me going to work or down at the beach or with friends or on a night out. This person had been following me for ages and taking pictures of my every move, right up until the day before my apartment had been broken into. I made my way to the apartment and the police were already there, they said they will need to take the photos and asked if I had anywhere else to stay. Zack offered his place, so I got everything I could and Hunter and myself moved into Zack's. During this time the police barely contacted me, I had to chase them up constantly, they were very, very dismissive.

A month later, around 11 at night, I received another call from friend who lived just down the street from my apartment, my building was on fire. Zack and I rushed over to the building there was emergency crews all over the place. 2 people died in the fire. The police now started to take my stalker much more seriously. I was questioned about people who may have a vendetta against me, especially previous hookups. They did a search up on the names I gave them and a couple of days later they called me back in for some questions about Kent, I told them he was just some guy I had been having fun with for a few months, they then started asking me if he showed any strange signs. He seemed normal enough, but he did like to show me his gun collection a lot...

A week passes and I've heard nothing, I'm still at Zack's. Both of us are sleeping and Hunter starts to perk up again, and again it's around 1 in the morning. Zack tells me to stay in bed and he will check it out, he grabs his baseball that he has in the corner of his room and walks out into the darkness. I can only hear him moving towards the front window and hunters low growl, I hear him brushing aside a curtain and then silence for a few seconds... "Jesus fuck!" I hear the front window come crashing in. Hunter bolts into the bedroom, I jump out of bed and run stupidly towards the noise, Zack then grabs me and drags me back into the bedroom locking the door I ask him what the fuck is going on and he tells me the guy has a gun, I hit panic mode. "I miss you boy! Just please let me talk, why'd you go to the cops about me?" Kent starts shouting for me. Zack is on the phone to police and then nothing but silence, Zack and I just starting at each other waiting for the next moment. I then hear the broken glass crunching, he's in the apartment. "Just please talk to me!" Am I fuck giving him a face to face conversation, Zack tell the police to hurry up. He starts knocking on the bedroom door and Hunter starts barking "Shut that fucking dog up!". I then hear something hitting the door and then the smell hits me, he's pouring gasoline around the door. I go to unlock the door but Zack stops me... Outside I can hear voices and then "I'll fucking do it!" and then some more voices in the distance, I can hear the glass crunching again and then a bang and then silence, a few seconds pass and I can hear loud voices and crunching, a banging at the door "This is the police, you're safe now, you can open the door". I open the door and the police escort us out, the stench of gasoline is sickening, he must've covered the entire living room in the stuff and then I see it, his body with half his head blown across the room.

Turns out Kent had a family, he had a history of stalking and this time it caught up to him. When the police turned up to question him about the fire his wife found out about everything, thankfully he did no harm to her or their kids. Yes he did start the fire and kill those two innocent people, yes he did take pictures of me and yes his plan was to kill me. I still hate sleeping in total darkness, I hate going to get gas because the smell brings back those memories and yes I go to the graves of those two people he killed at least once a year.

Omg r38. Nobody can top that. Why is this not a dateline special? (Or was it?)

Sigh. I haven't had a stalker in so long.

I met a cute, short guy online. We hooked up twice but then he thought we were dating. He literally called and texted every 30 minutes, to the point that I stopped responding because I realized he was crazy.

Once he realized I wouldn't respond to him, he apparently talked online to guys in the city I had just moved from to see if he could find my hook ups. He did and found out a ton of info about me (and alot of incorrect stuff). He wrote some stuff on his hookup profile to avoid me because I was terrible person (I had to report him to the app for that and they made him take the stuff down).

Then I turned the tables on him. I knew he wasn't out of the closet, so I emailed his parents that he was gay and stalking me. I emailed the newsletter of his school which apparently published that he was living happily with his gay partner. I wrote his workplace that he was gay and stalking me.

Then all of a sudden, he stopped stalking me.

I hope he committed suicide, he was far more aggressive and unhinged than I fully described here.

He once told me he loved being a "secret customer" (hired by companies to pretend to be a customer and report back any problems with the company or restaurant) and ragging on the customer service, hoping someone got fired.

R41 - neither one of you sounds like a particularly nice or stable person. Sorry, what you did sucked as much as what he did because you brought outside parties you probably hurt into this shit. Should have gotten a restraining order on him and gone on with your life. Vengeful pettiness is as unattractive as his nonsense and I hope you have grown up since then.

I can picture Keith Morrison narrating r38's story

R42, the Moral Scourge of the DL, sits on her steel-reinforced tuffet and waggles her banana curls at the offending (and embellishing) R41 as if she were the Twat of Doom stuffed with estrogen and brown fat.

R42 = Worse Than Hitler's Pistol Rape of War-Orphan Babies

Before I met my husband, I met a guy and went home with him. He was hot short, older, had his own home. I thought we were going to fuck but he wanted to sit in his hot tub and eat popsicles. We eventually start kissing and he wants to go to his bedroom. He gets undressed, hot tight body. he tells me "I'm not into butt stuff," dammit. We trade head and I go to leave and he grabs me says I have to stay the night. He gets up at butt crack 30 - I come down he is eating breakfast, he made for himself. Nothing for me. I say it was fun and leave. He calls me and I ignore his calls. He calls and calls. Then. He calls my work but he calls the main number asking for me (I worked for a large automaker) - the person just happened to know me so she contacted me. finally, I took his call. He told me he loved me and missed me. I said I didn't think we were a match - he said "is that because you wanted to do butt stuff?" lol

Too much R38. Nobody calls a dog “Hunter”.

[quote] "Who is the craziest guy you ever fucked?"

If you don't know by now, I'm not telling.

Does it have to be a guy?

R46 No shit sherlock, it's a fake name, I'm not giving any of the real details.

This guy that I was molested with as a child, starting when we were both a year old. By the age of two, he started talking about getting married soon and wanting to get me pregnant ASAP. (He was bisexual, BTW, for those curious.)

A lot of guys I've dated were into extreme BDSM, but that's okay, because so am I. A lot of punks are into bondage and I'm one of them.

One guy, my soul mate, liked to give me sex engineers when I was in the presence of another guy. He would watch me remotely using a surveillance spell and keep giving me more magic until I finally hooked up with the guy. Then, he'd watch from a remote location.

Lucky for me, the guys he made me do it with were hot, but technically, he was still forcing me to go against my will by using sex engineers on me. (This guy was straight, by the way.) He was a cuck, and still is, but I don't think he's getting any mileage out of his current girl in that regard, because she's a closeted lesbian. Just going by that story, you would think he was ugly and creepy, but he's actually really sexy.

I've dated plenty of guys that were skinheads and gang members, too. I was arrested and isolated in an all-male prison once but I kept sneaking out to go off and hook up with this hot skinhead inmate, who had a cell to himself. (I know how to pick all kinds of locks and I'm an escape artist.)

Maybe I'M the one that's crazy.

Alright R49, a code name for a dog. I believe you. It's a wild story. DL sleuths will find out who you are based in the evidence you provided...

A straight guy in college was "exploring" his sexuality; we made out for about 5 minutes and then he accused me of raping him.

[Quote] neither one of you sounds like a particularly nice or stable person. Sorry, what you did sucked as much as what he did because you brought outside parties you probably hurt into this shit. Should have gotten a restraining order on him and gone on with your life. Vengeful pettiness is as unattractive as his nonsense and I hope you have grown up since then.

Right, I’m supposed to take my time and energy to get a restraining order from police who will laugh this off? Turns out my way was far more effective. He’s started being the completely deranged asshole. He pays the price.

I dated a PhD student about 4 yrs ago and we got into lite BDSM stuff, which was kinda fun & exciting then. He recently got a job in my city and we hooked up via app. During course of evening, he brought fantasy of strangling or knifing my throat; paying to watch me getting gangbanged; and including a 3rd to pee on me. Yeah, I told him not to much into being dehumanized, so ask him to leave.

An FB if mine who, after passionate sex, suddenly lost consciousness (kind of), cramped up, groaned, and twisted his limbs and his body into an impossible shape. It was scary as hell. He must have take something. After a few minutes it was over and he slept like a baby.

Meth R54

A guy took me home to his apt. We decided to order in a pizza. He made me pay for half!

WTF, I’m supposed to be his guest, right?

R56, sounds like a seizure

Also Meth, R57.

I wondered about this too R59. I was too polite to ask whether he was an epileptic...

I’ve known guys who did meth. Not one thought cat litter was meth and started smoking it and not one had a seizure like that described above.

It involved turkey meatballs.

I didn’t know that sex can trigger Grand Mals, R58

[quote] he apparently talked online to guys in the city I had just moved from to see if he could find my hook ups.

I had a fuckbuddy do that too. He wanted more but I felt nothing between us besides the great sex. What a glorious ass he had! But I’m getting diverted.

Anyhoo. He used to chat anonymously with another fuckbuddy I had that he managed to find online about the sex the second guy and I had. Creepy. I kept fucking him for a few years more. Did I mention he had a glorious ass?

I met this guy and I was really attracted to him—hairy, smelled great, puppy dog eyes—anyway, he invited me over to his apartment that he shared with three other guys, but he didn’t want them to know he was having sex, so I had to wait for the coast to be clear before I could enter the apartment (40 mins in his car) He’d snuck me in by running water to mask the sound of tiptoeing and I had to take my shoes off. He had no bed but blankets, so we were on the floor.

He didn’t like to kiss, and it took him a bit to get hard. Once he got going in a slow, rhythmic, motion (I’m on my back) he’d start a conversation in conversational tone: “what did you have for lunch today? Are you having work issues? I got my license today and the line was very long.” It completely caught me off guard. He never came and I had to climb through a window to leave. Also, he had never heard of the Beatles.

I'm really sorry that happened to you, r52.

By the way... I'll bet any amount of money he wasn't straight.

A technophobe lawyer who was into pee. *shrug*

[quote] Right, I’m supposed to take my time and energy to get a restraining order from police...

R53 - so calling his parents, his employer and writing to the paper didn't take any time or energy versus one call to the police department. You know damned well that the cops wouldn't have laughed and just sent him a simple notice, case closed. You are just as bad as Mr. Secret Shopper and you saw yourself in him and he saw himself in you.

R45 - if you told him you were a bottom, it's on you. If he told you he was a top, it's on him. Didn't you bitches sort that shit out beforehand?

A hotter than hell guy, likely the sexiest man I’d ever been with in my life, that demanded, at the top of his lungs, that I shit in his mouth.

I swear, true story.

R53 I mean...I get it BUT that's how people get murderized and end up as an episode of "48 Hours." Seriously. Lucky for you, he didn't go down that road.

r69 no, I probably should of. I just figured since we were at the bar and I practically fingered him while we were talking he got the hint.

He insisted that I call him "Lady G"

Michael St. Laurent who played Mae West in The Rose.

I met an recently-ex-marine online in LA. He came to my place and we walked down the street for dinner. He was normal enough seeming, if kinda dull. On the walk back to have presumptive sex, he told me he had the telekinetic power to move the stars in the sky. He then stopped in the street, looked up, pointed skyward and told me to watch. He then allegedly moved the star with his power of concentration, asking if I could see that. I told him, Wow; I sure did! When we got back to my place, I suddenly got "very tired" and remembered I had an "early morning meeting." Happily he left without bayoneting me.

R75, sorry to break this to you, but your story doesn't belong here because you never actually did the nasty

crazy makes the best fucks.