Let's be a middle/low class garden!

A lot of poor people don't have space for gardens, especially in cities. Even a stamp of land is a premium for even upper middle/upper class in urban areas. You see a lot of city gardens for lower class people.

I’m the grape vines in every Italian and Portuguese garden. I take up the back portion of the yard, between the neighbor’s fence and the single-car-stand-alone garage. I grow along the chicken wire or plywood structure they built for me. Under it, there’s always a little table covered with oilcloth where the grandma sits smoking after everyone goes to work and school.

I don’t yield enough grapes to make much wine, but it reminds them of the old country.

I'm OP's middlebrow obsession with class.

I'm the dirt!

One can't discuss rhubarb without including this.

OP is a Pinnochio-fucken-nose!

I'm the marigolds. Not even white trash can kill me!

OP Brazilian Rhubarb (Gunnera manicata) is considered very fashionable by upmarket garden designers.

It's not edible and will take forever to grow from seed though.

r2, you forgot the fig tree and geraniums.

Wow, OP. You’re an asshole!

I'm the gnome collection

Gardening is for everyone and OP grew up wishing he was less Hillbilly and more Beverly.

I'm the animal figurine. I'm probably a snail or frog.

I'm the unironic or 'ironic' gnome.

I'm the sign announcing the birthday of one of the occupants. If I'm super trashy, I'll have an image of a beer stein with a trashy slogan such as, "Lordy, lordy, look who's 40," and/or encourage people to honk as they drive by.

I'm a pile of manure. I'm also the OP of this thread.

It's not a garden. It's a kitchen. A dirty...ol'...kitchen.

Thank you, R5, the thread would have been incomplete without huh.

I am the planter made from an old truck tire. I am cut to look like a flower, but I don't look like a flower. I still look like a tacky tire planter.

OP: one of the reasons people grow rhubarb is because it's one of the few PERENNIAL vegetables that you don't have to re-plant year after year, much like (in some climates) artichokes and tree collards. Same with fruit trees, grapes and berry vines. It's nice to have some things in your garden you don't have to replant year to year.

I'm the body under the patio

I’m the broken redware crocks you have to retape together each year for the fucking lobelia.

I’m also the compost bin that gets raided by racketycoons because assholes throw meat scraps into the mix.

And, I’m the bullshit verbena STOLLEN from the Henry Ford Museum Tour WHERE WE WERE KICKED OUT FOR STEALING PLANTS AND CUTTINGS!

In what alternative universe is the rhubarb in OP's post untended?

TIL that monster rhubarb exists

My Mom loved to knock about in the garden. Even though I have a nice sized yard, I have no interest in agriculture other than eating it.

I'm the pesky weeds, that keep popping up...with deep, hard to pull roots.

Rhubarb is delicious? I’m guessing sophisticated OP only plants potatoes and corn in his luxury garden?

I'm the pansies.

I love rhubarb. My mom used to have some and it took her a few tries to eliminate it.

Bingo R3

I saw this thread and thought that only DL's DLCAS-obsessed members could decide that gardens could have class status.

R1, a lot of working poor people have a ton of room for gardens. The norm in much of the USA is to buy a plot of cheap land and live in a crappy trailer surrounded by rusting vehicles for the rest of their life. Better to own a 1/4 of an acre in a lousy area than rent.

The aforementioned tire planters.

Rusting yard junk used as planters- refrigerators, broken down cars, old boots, etc.

Washtubs or whiskey barrels tipped on their side so the flowers are "spilling out".

Neon blue hydrangeas (Not quite sure how they achieve this.)

Weeds such as leafy spurge treated as garden plants.

I'm the tacky Lidl solar-powered lights and the fairy door and the dog shit everywhere and the barbecue pit and the outdoor stove and the gas powered heater and the pickup wreck propped up on blocks to the side and the punctured paddlindg pool.

I'm the fig trees...seen in many ethnic and urban gardens.

R12 we all did.

Those giant Brazilian rhubarbs are kind of scary looking. I would hate to be an ant! Everything would look that big

R35 You have to be very careful where you position them, walking through it is not an option as the leaves and stems are covered in very sharp thorns.

I’m the small trees being grown in bright blue plastic garbage cans. I’m in the front yard for maximum ugliness.

A few observations from my drive to work:

Wooden pallets painted to look like the American flag

Plastic Adirondack chairs in bright, "festive" colors.

Stacking green or white chairs from the dollar store.

Whirlygigs made from beer cans

Garden swings or gliders with corroded aluminum tube frames and grungy, moldy, mildewed plastic upholstery.

Huge stuffed animals left outside rain or shine.

Hanging baskets with silk flower arrangement. This seems to be something new this year. I really don't understand it as a purchased hanging basket with real flowers is about $30.00. If one saved the container from last year, you can assemble one for under $15.00. I am sure the silk arrangements must be more expensive even with a 20% off Michaels coupon.

A stereotyped minimalism. This is probably true in all areas, but where I live it consists of a few azaleas and/or rhododendrons, lilacs, and phlox in garish colors. It is obvious that the planting are just ticking off a few boxes and then considering it done.

So all of these things--the chairs, the swings, the giant stuffed animals-- are in the front yard R38?

And what godforsaken stretch of Darkest Flyoverstan do you live in that you see these things in multiples?

R39, rural southern NH. I have a rather long drive to work on back roads.

I am the David Austin roses. You will NEVER find me in these gardens.

I am the small, weeping tree that is not planted in the correct location to showcase my beauty. I am a tragic loss of money and I look silly where I am planted.

I am the pinkish hydrangeas. My gardener wants me blue but she can’t get the acid level right.