Rocco Ritchie prepping for magazine cover

Potatoe head cocklet boy.

Yas, kween!

For AARP? Those photos look like they were taken in the 1950s.

That posture!

Those lifts!

He looks like he’s “special”

What's his height?

Why are you being haters he looks great here

He's a little troll.

Doesn't even compare to the MUCH hotter Romeo Beckham.

YASSSSS, Romeo!

If he’s douching, he’s prepping for something else.

He is, in fact, quite short, and unsuited to the retro fashions he often wears. Those high-waisted trousers are dreadful on him.

I suspect he's a future fatty just waiting to happen.

Oh, Rocco, Yawn.

The die has been cast: both Rocco and Lourdes are entitled mediocrities, like so many other celeb children. We will go on regularly hearing about them and their uninteresting exploits and they will both remain mediocre and uninteresting.

On the upside, Mom is worth at least $850 million (conservative estimate), so there's that consolation for them.

[quote] Mom is worth at least $850 million (conservative estimate), so there's that consolation for them.

To Lourdes and Rocco, I leave..... nothing.

For reasons that are well known to both of them.

I like Rocco's look. He's always smiling and swaggering, which is better than a dumb Zoolander glare.

"But Lyon- I'm twenty-five!"

"You look 35"

I like his look, too. I don't get the hate. He's turned out better than Lourdes, who is declining quickly.

Just because you ape the 50s doesn’t make it a ‘timeless moment’.

If he were an accomplished young actor it would likely work, quite nicely in fact - shades of Brando at his peak.

Beyond being the child of a worn-out pop icon and traipsing around in 50s duds, what is there?

It's called having fun, R17, for the sake of having fun. You might want to try it sometime.

Jesus Christ! He’s only 20 and has a shitload of lines and wrinkles on his face already!😮

Do Madonna’s kids do anything besides play dress up all day? How do they earn a living? Or do they just live off mommy’s money?

[quote]Doesn't even compare to the MUCH hotter Romeo Beckham.

Romeo B. looks like Andy Warhol.

Fug.

Are you sure that loos is from the 50s? Looks more like the 20s or 30s to me. Why does he want to live in a time warp?

When can we start shitting all over Janet Jackson's children Janbot/OP?

Don't forget her bargain basement auction!

Get bent, you patronising sag-arsed prick, R18 - who are you, his agent?

Rocco is like "fetch"

Stop Trying to Make Potatoe Head Cocklet Boy Happen!

[quote] For AARP? Those photos look like they were taken in the 1950s.

That’s clearly what they were going for. Ugh.

He actually does look like the typical “fit” guy from the early 50s. The sort that would still have some body fat, thrusting their barrel chest forward, sucking their guts in, pants with too high a waist... think Burt Lancaster, but pudgier. That’s what a lot of guys looked like back then.

The naysayers in this thread sound like the typical obsessive Madonna haters. Yawn.

He wants to go back to the 1950s because Madonna didn’t exist then and he could actual be his own man.

[quote]He wants to go back to the 1950s because Madonna didn’t exist then and he could actual be his own man.

She was around in the 50’s. She was born in 1958.

I'm adding him to my list of "DL hates you don't understand."

Why is his torso only an inch long? Or are the pants pulled up way high to his nipples?

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I hope his dick is cut.

Poor thing. Really short changed in the looks department.

Both her kids are fugly.

He's already unfortunate looking so whoever told him the grandad pants were a good idea needs a good slap.

R8 r9. Romeo inherited the Posh Spice pre-surgery Pig nose. 😂

Golly, R32, when did Guy Ritchie turn into a hobbit troll?

He had 15 minutes of lean Alpha-male hotness when he was first with Madonna. Aging is cruel, especially to some short men.

Apparently, he's kind of an asshole, so it's no tragedy that he's lost his looks.

I thought he was a little kid.

Remember when he was a boy?

Didn't that just happen? Why's he look late 30s?

Guy Ritchie is 5'11, which is hardly short.

He is such a weird little dude, gotta love him

I like how they have a black guy holding up the mirror in the middle of a field for him.

Given OP's fixation, I hope he has a good bodyguard.

“I need someone to hold up this mirror so i can shave properly” “But sir, that mirror must weigh 40lbs! It’s an antique! let’s just lean it against the truck” “No, that’ll be too low and ruin the aesthetic. Get one of those field hands lazing around over there to do it.” “You mean a production assistant? That would be a violation of their contract” “I don’t care, you peasant: my mother is MADONNNNNNA”

He's out standing in his field.

Why is he so high waisted?

Omg he's 20! Where did the time go!!!!

He should be working in an I.T. department somewhere far away from the spotlight.

He reminds me a bit of the actor Emory Cohen, who was so sweet as Homer in the OA and as the love interest in Brooklyn.

Rocco has the looks, style and posture of a mobster in a 1940s Hollywood motion picture.

He's giving me John Garfield vibes. Ruthlessly sexy.

I don't know why DL bullies him. He keeps to himself and seems like a nice kid.

How are magazine fashion spreads and a presence on social media "keeping to himself"?

#LeaveRoccoAlone

#DLbulliesRocco

#stopDLbullies

He looks like a middle aged man already. Why?

Why? What is it with celebrity crotchfruit made to think that they are the bees knees?

Rocco Ritchie is the NEW John Hodiak!

Why hasn’t the clap emoji guy been here to defend Rocco?

[quote] Rocco has the looks, style and posture of a mobster in a 1940s Hollywood motion picture.

Maybe he can do a re-make of "Bugsy," with Madonna co-starring as the young ingenue.

Rofl!

I'd take Rocco over the Beckham kid any day.

He's wise to cultivate a 40s style, which is about all you can do with that stumpy build.

I get strong Montgomery Clift vibes from him in those photos.

I agree with R33. Cut cocks look better on stumpy guys.

He’s a cupcake 🧁 away from obesity.

I feel so badly for him and can’t believe DL isn’t on his side. He had that egotistical no television watching macrobiotic diet psycho Madonna for a parent. He’s probably so confused trying to find his own identity since she was so cruel to him when he was shy and Madge trotted him on stage to MAKE FUN of him in front of the whole audience. LardAss is a carbon copy of chola wannabe mommy so she’s all in with Madonna but Rocco turned away and decided to not be part of her controlling circus. I applaud him. He’s FUG but he’s a mix of two unattractive parents so what do we expect for him? Leave him alone. He’s been been a dick to any of Madonnas fans like the chola chubby Lola has.

Moobs.

If I was worth as much money as he is I would say fuck off to every camera and live on a private island and have sex all day long. Is his mother making him do this? Does he DO anything? Is being Madonna's son literally his entire life accomplishment?

R67, He's only 20 years old and goes to school at Central Saint Martins in London. What accomplishments are you expecting at his age?

Why is he trying so hard to be famous? He’s so lucky to have access to all that money and the freedom it brings. He needs to stop trying to be something he’s not.

Who says he's TRYING to be famous? Just imagine being the son of one of the most famous and richest entertainers in the world. He's undoubtedly being offered photo shoots and interviews all the time. This is the first one he's accepted. He was photographed a few weeks ago reading The Rake magazine so it's presumed he was doing research on the publication before accepting their offer.

R70 There’s a whole magazine about gardening tools and that’s the one he chooses???

^ In a historical context, a rake (short for rakehell, analogous to "hellraiser") was a man who was habituated to immoral conduct, particularly womanising. Often, a rake was also prodigal, wasting his (usually inherited) fortune on gambling, wine, women and song, and incurring lavish debts in the process.

R72 So he picked a magazine that made him out to be a male whore like his mother?

r65 Oh honey, it's what we fucking DO. And you make some fair points. Also, it's part of the DL hazing process. If someone, like the OP, or you for example, did a poll of which of Madge's kids were the most useless troglodyte, my hunch is Lourdes, aka Lola, aka name your kid Lola and she's going to be a massive disappointment, would win in an landslide. (Fugslide?)

I think there really is a certain affection for him because, as stated earlier, he got the fuck away from her. She was so fucking cruel to him, (yeah, I know, MARY!) but who makes tiny dick jokes about their own young teenager to her millions of followers? I would fucking die. No, first I would sue, then consider death. He had to get away from her clutches and succeeded.

So, on the surface, we are making fun of him, but, for us, rather gently.

Lourdes on the other hand, is a truly, talentless DISASTUH who peaked at 3 in the looks department. No thanks!

R74, for the 100th time, Madge did not make fun of Rocco's dick. She posted a photo of him diving into a pool on twitter or instagram. Fans made a fuss, so she took it down and posted a different angle with no crotch shot, hence the "no sausage" hashtag.

[quote] for the 100th time, Madge did not make fun of Rocco's dick

She'd better not after she's the one who made sure he was mutilated.

He’s basically a male version of Madge. There’s no Guy Ritchie in there at all.

Does he take after his uncle Christopher? Are they in good company?

He's cute and sexy in his own way.

R75 and other tiresome PR poodles here are WRONG. That cunt of a mother clearly pointed out the lack of her child's cock..sorry...meat. Sick of the revisionist history. Let's just say for fun that she did (she didn't) revise her post? How would a hashtag of #NoSausage have helped in any way? Streisand Effect at BEST.

It only made it worse.

Count me in though on those flannels and his "type" reading closer to the thirties or maybe forties but not at all fifties. He's not horrific, he is a bit awkward looking though. Whatever. He seems like he's having a good time.

[quote] Why is he trying so hard to be famous?

Maybe girlfriend is just trying to make a living. Didn't Mommy Dearest cut his allowance long ago?