Austrians, tell me everything about Sebastian Kurz

I hope his schwanz isn't kurz.

He's in trouble.

The walls are closing in on him.

He's cute though, but those ears are only going to get bigger as he gets older.

He’s resigned as chancellor.

He's everything Donald Trump Jr. aspires to be!

Summary?

He's another Haider -- a somewhat photogenic cryptogay, with an entourage of right-of-center mostly male yuppie types. Unlike Haider, though, he's not sui generis; he's a product created and marketed by party strategists and big donors to appeal to several different constituencies, and to help them cut their own taxes and gut Austrian social regulations.

He's a narcissistic university dropout who's been intensively coached and NPLed to create pleasing soundbites, but apart from some right-ish leanings, there's nothing to him but a will to status.

He's now in trouble because the movers and shakers behind him, as well as his entourage (but of course not he himself -- how COULD anyone cast such vile aspersions!) spent six-digit millions on clandestine advertising and faked polls to get him good PR and push out the prior People's Party head (whom he described in a text message found on Schmid's phone as an "asshole"), so he could take over and implement their agenda. All of this is substantiated by extensive text conversations found on Schmid's phone (confiscated in the course of an investigation into Schmid's appointment to a lucrative and influential sinecure after the last election).

His "girlfriend" is expecting a baby (purportedly his) within a few weeks, so maybe he'll be able to take the "Papa month" off after all, and spend some unexpected free time with his little bundle of joy.