Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Bad Massage Stories

What are your bad massage stories?

I've had a few, but the one I remember most was seeing a traveling masseur one time at his hotel room. I entered, stripped down, and the massage began. He was a talker. He kept commenting on my body - I was overweight at the time but had been working out with a trainer for at least a year (while not changing my diet much) and at least had some decent muscle under the blubber. I'm a big guy regardless of weight - tall with a football player build.

He complained about how much work it was to massage me due to my size, and after I mentioned my workouts he said "sure, I'm massaging your... muscles" in the most patronizing way possible.

He had posted lots of photos of his admittedly excellent body on his massage profile but during my massage he never even took off his shirt.

He kept making negative comments on my body and weight, shaming me repeatedly and insulting every pound, and I have no idea why I stayed the full hour, but I did. He wasn't a good masseuse.

Time came to leave and I had prepared my wallet in advance with his money in one pouch and the rest of my money in another. I pulled out what I thought was his payment and handed it to him. I left and was waiting at the elevator when he walked up to me and said "This isn't enough" and apparently I had given him the other wallet compartment by mistake. I apologized and swapped amounts with him. He counted it in front of me before walking off.

So I'm sure that he thought I was trying to stiff him on top of all that. I can only assume my suppressed rage at being humiliated for an hour had caused my subconscious to try to punish him somehow. Or, I just picked the wrong wallet compartment.

by Anonymousreply 4805/04/2021

I pre-paid for some massages at my chiropractors office and it was a young fat girl trying to make it erotic.

by Anonymousreply 105/04/2021

[quote]He had posted lots of photos of his admittedly excellent body on his massage profile but during my massage he never even took off his shirt.

You were hoping for a sexy massage? Why should he take his shirt off?

by Anonymousreply 205/04/2021

Why would he take off his shirt during the massage? It was supposed to be erotic? Forgive me if I sound naive.

by Anonymousreply 305/04/2021

OP is mad because he was expecting a happy ending

by Anonymousreply 405/04/2021

I assumed it was an erotic/sensual massage because of where he was advertising, his photos, and his price. Oh, and it was also labeled "Sensual massage". Nothing sensual about it though.

by Anonymousreply 505/04/2021

R4 yes, of everything I posted, THAT's why I was really mad 🙄

I doubt he could have stimulated me at all after that.

by Anonymousreply 605/04/2021

"What are your bad massage stories?"

Don't even get me started...

by Anonymousreply 705/04/2021

These things HAVE to be discussed in advance. Will it be therapeutic/sensual/erotic? Will the masseur be shirtless or nude? What will be the exact cost for such services?

Sounds like this masseur was a complete asshole. Sometimes it happens that you click and they can be kind.(When you speak of this, and you will, please be kind.) Sometimes they're not so good despite training and there are others who simply have a talent for it. And sometimes they want to give you a happy ending even though you don't want it. Personally it leaves me too exhausted.

by Anonymousreply 805/04/2021

R1 at the chiropractor's? That's the last place I would expect an erotic massage. I wonder what happened to the woman.

by Anonymousreply 905/04/2021


We know you think fat eldergays who pay for sex should be deeply ashamed and publicly lashed.

by Anonymousreply 1005/04/2021

R8 I was actually fine with just getting a sensual massage, no happy ending. It was more about the massage and the personal contact at the time than it was any momentary release. He was a trained masseur with a certification (so he claimed) so I knew that part wasn't guaranteed and definitely by the end of that massage was not wanted anyway.

From my experience, most male masseurs who work out of hotel rooms or do outcalls take off their shirts at least. I've never had a massage in a place like Massage Envy or similar so I assume that isn't the case there.

Regardless, so not the point of that story!

by Anonymousreply 1105/04/2021

Well I've had masseurs who didn't take off their shirt. I wasn't going to request it. Once I went to a masseur and in advance I told him I wasn't doing well financially so could I just pay for the massage and not tip him. He said ok. The next time I called him he said this time I expect a tip. I was so embarrassed I didn't go. He was so handsome I doubt he missed my business.

by Anonymousreply 1205/04/2021

R12 that's lame. I usually tip but if someone can't afford it, they shouldn't shame you over it. And if they expect tips for every massage then they should just raise their prices instead.

by Anonymousreply 1305/04/2021

I have another massage story. This was a period in my life when I was so busy with work I didn't have time or desire to date anyone, but still wanted human contact, so I got a massage every 3-4 weeks, usually from different guys as the best ones were always passing through.

This guy was kind of hot and did outcalls, so I scheduled him to come over when he was in town. I never expect sex or a happy ending unless the masseur indicates as such, and masseurs are not escorts, so I am pretty hands off unless they encourage it during the massage.

The massage was decent - nothing special - but at the end he started massaging my junk and got me fully hard, commented positively on my cock size, then stripped off his underwear and just SAT DOWN ON MY COCK. It was totally unexpected and really hot. He jerked off while riding me and then came, and then finished me off with his hands after.

He came back to town every few months and texted me when he was going to be in town. I saw him about four more times, and the massage went the same way each time until the last.

After he hopped off me, he took a look and went into the bathroom and then came back with a bunch of toilet paper. Apparently he had gotten shit all over my dick. He didn't comment on it but the wiping was pretty clear. I didn't look to see how bad the damage was, but I definitely took a long shower after.

I know it's not unusual to happen to tops but in this instance it totally grossed me out and I never saw him again. I kinda wish I had, now that I'm older and less squicky about things like that.

by Anonymousreply 1405/04/2021

Clearly he was a prostitute whore, but when he saw you, he immediately started regretting his whoring ways.

by Anonymousreply 1505/04/2021

R15 that's probably it, I was just so fat and ugly he immediately became straight and anti-fat acceptance. He's probably here on the DL posting about Chrissy Metz right now.

by Anonymousreply 1605/04/2021

I hadn't realised this is a PRON thread. I'm so naive sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 1705/04/2021

R17 it's.. not. It's about bad massage stories. TRUE ones, I should add. Experiences that have happened to you.

by Anonymousreply 1805/04/2021

One doesn’t tip Massage Whores who work out of their Massage Whore Homes. It takes no effort in their part to get ready so one need not tip.

by Anonymousreply 1905/04/2021

R7 - Don't get YOU started?!

by Anonymousreply 2005/04/2021

A booked a M4M sensual massage from an ad.

The door opened and it was a skeevy little weirdo from the gym.

We had never spoken before, but always went at the same time. After passing each other over the months and years, we began to do the obligatory ‘hey, what’s up’ nod.

He obviously recognized me, and so the awkward small talk began during the massage itself.

I tried to play like I was exhausted and beginning to relax, so the talking lessened.

Then at the end, noticing my lack of arousal, he asked, “Well that’s it. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

I enthusiastically and obtusely said, “Nope - that was great!” And sat up, ready to hop off the table - no, slowly come-back-to-reality procrastination, just up and gone!

I adjusted my gym-going time so months had gone by until I saw him again. Then I assumed the ‘enough-time-has-passed-so-I-can-act-like-I-don’t-remember-you’ thing and didn’t nod or make eye-contact anymore.

by Anonymousreply 2105/04/2021

Once I was viciously face-slapped by a masseur

by Anonymousreply 2205/04/2021

Did he charge you extra?

by Anonymousreply 2305/04/2021

R21 did the ad have pictures?

by Anonymousreply 2405/04/2021

One of the worst was a Massage Whore who’s been on the circuit forever. He’s reasonably good looking and has a beercan dick.

So I showed up at his Massage Whore Home and it was obvious from the start this Massage Whore didn’t want to work on me so it became a “traditional” massage even though we’d agreed otherwise.

So at the end of this listless, flaccid session he asked if I wanted a handjob, and I told him, you clearly don’t want to work on me so let’s just stop. I paid because that’s what we agreed to but never again.

by Anonymousreply 2505/04/2021

Absolutely, I use to go to a massage schoand ol had a history of good massages from them. One time I went and got this European woman. (I am a woman btw)

I had spasms in my back and per usual full body massage I ask them to focus on my back. I wasn't even standing upright, I was kind of hunched over in agony. I said don't even bother with my head, use that time to focus more on the back. She knew English. Anyway she proceeds to work on my skull for about 15 minutes. I'm getting more and more tense wondering when she is going to move on, as my back is still there waiting. I ask her to move on to my back and she proceeds to spend 5 more minutes on my head and then work on my arms. It's about 30 minutes into an hour massage and she hasn't touched my back and I just grab the towel and clothes and leave. I could have told her to get the fuck out but figured I would leave to avoid doing that. I couldn't take it anymore. The staff comes rushing over, and is like what is it, what happened?

I said I'm more stressed that I was when I walked in, she is doing the opposite of what I asked. They ushered me into another room where I dressed and apologized for her. I asked if she was one of the C students, and if they had someone else. They claimed her training was European. I replied I've been here a lot, I ask for someone to focus on an area and they have in the past. I asked her to leave my head alone and she did the opposite. The more I spoke of dissatisfaction the more she dug in and did exactly what I didn't want.

They offered me a free next visit or to come back hours later when they had another spot open. I looked at them like they were crazy. I thought this was a school, aren't you training them?

I've gone to massage for years and they all have a routine but I have never had one before be unable shorten time on one area to favor another. I think I found another place that charged twice as much to go to later that day or the next.

by Anonymousreply 2605/04/2021

R26 that's bizarre, was she mentally challenged?

I know that they learn things in a sequence but surely she could have skipped ahead (pun not intended).

by Anonymousreply 2705/04/2021

r27, my only guess was she wasn't used to American directness and caught up in the routine. Like a telemarketer who follows a script. And if you ask questions in the middle of it, they have to start the script over or get lost. Maybe she memorized giving a massage from the beginning to end and couldn't deviate from it. But I did think she was mental. The students usually were in the later stages of education, this was the hours they needed before getting licensed she couldn't have been that new.

by Anonymousreply 2805/04/2021

[quote] and masseurs are not escorts

Oh, my sides!

by Anonymousreply 2905/04/2021

I've never had an erotic massage, just regular ones. The only slightly negative experience I had was during a full body massage, everything was good accept he massaged my stomach and it was quite uncomfortable. Just not a pleasant experience to have someone pressing down on the stomach, even though I hadn't eaten recently or anything.

by Anonymousreply 3005/04/2021

R29 I hate to tell you this but in the general population it is true so you have to be careful or you find yourself in a situation like Costner and Travolta. Even on gay massage sites there are men who will not allow you to be nude and they cover you with a sheet. Yes it has happened to me. Maybe I was just too ugly? But other gay masseurs have no problem. Many years ago in the relaxed men's locker room days guys would get nude massages in Ys out in the open. I saw this as a boy. This was also a time when men walked around nude without needing to cover themselves. Now things have very much changed and I guess everyone is scared as hell of being accused of something. Ys now have signs up saying you can't be naked in a steam room or sauna in order to respect others. Not that long ago it would have been considered absurd. Guys were nude or wore a towel depending how comfortable they were. To say you can't be naked in a locker room situation out of 'respect for other's people would have thought it was insane.

by Anonymousreply 3105/04/2021

reminds me of the Y in London - people would just stand in the large communal showers for hours watching the show unfurl.

I'll bet the showers are no longer communal.

by Anonymousreply 3205/04/2021

Well, I can tell you I didn’t have a happy ending!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 3305/04/2021

I used to manage a day spa. Prior to every Valentine's day, the masseuses would beg to not be placed with a african american couple that came in yearly for a 2 hour couples massage. The reason being that it killed their hands to work on them and they never tipped (yes, my employees, 3 of whom were AA, used the "blacks don't tip excuse" but they were correct in this instance).

We also had "BMW crotch wax man". He brought in his own BMW logo stencil for the waxer to use on his gunt. Lovely.

by Anonymousreply 3405/04/2021

But these masseurs were working out of a spa. Is it necessary to tip if someone is working out of their home? Are you considered a jerk if you don't tip in such a case? I suppose yes.

by Anonymousreply 3505/04/2021

The Americans tip everybody all the time - after I lived there I did too...still do really.

by Anonymousreply 3605/04/2021

but I wouldn't tip a masseuse although i was expected to at The Four Seasons in Boston. ..I think you've got your fee that's enough.

by Anonymousreply 3705/04/2021

Personally I think they should just raise their fees and not expect a tip, but it's too engrained in the culture here.

by Anonymousreply 3805/04/2021

I had a woman who kept farting during my massage and would say "sorry, too much milk." And I would start getting the church giggles and spent the entire time trying not to breathe through my nose/laugh hysterically.

by Anonymousreply 3905/04/2021

A lot of these are “bad” massage stories, not “bad massage” stories.

by Anonymousreply 4005/04/2021

R39 oh my god, that's gross and hilarious. Definitely not a relaxing massage if you kept breathing in farts.

by Anonymousreply 4105/04/2021

R40 I suggest you contribute your own true story and show us what brilliant writing is!

by Anonymousreply 4205/04/2021

R34, why would it kill their hands to work on an AA couple?

by Anonymousreply 4305/04/2021

Here's a good one. inspired by R31's mention of Travolta:

During the alleged incident, Travolta, 63, also made lewd remarks about gay fantasies while at the hotel's spa facility around 1.30am on February 15, 2000. According to the documents, obtained by, Travolta wanted a more intimate rubdown and even removed the towel 'exposing' his buttocks as the male spa employee gave him the massage. The employee claimed in the report that he kept replacing the towel and covering Travolta's buttocks up when the Pulp Fiction actor removed it.

After that massage was complete they allegedly went into another room where the masseur performed what he called a 'Citrus Scrub' on Travolta, who is married to Kelly Preston. During the treatment, Travolta, a devout Scientologist, told him that he was very attractive and that he had gotten him 'excited', the documents said. The report states that once the 'scrub' was complete, 'they moved to the steam room, where Travolta asked it he would accompany him, so he wouldn't have to sit alone'.

The pair then sat in the steam room together, according to the report. They were both wearing towels initially but the employee claimed that Travolta removed his towel and 'was nude'. Travolta then allegedly offered to demonstrate his own massage techniques on the masseur. As the man lay on his stomach, 'Travolta reached under his towel and began to rub his inner thigh'. Then the actor 'began rubbing [the masseur's] bare buttocks as well as in the groove between'. According to the report, the masseur said he felt uncomfortable and left, but then Travolta followed, offering to 'soap up' his back while he showered.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 4405/04/2021

[quote]According to the report, the masseur said he felt uncomfortable and left

Wait - you mean the masseur wasn't uncomfortable with what happened leading up to that point? LOL!

by Anonymousreply 4505/04/2021

I went to a local cosmetology college for a massage. I've been there several times, this last time though, I got an older guy who became rather sweaty during the massage, and also leaned his sweaty, cold skin against mine several times. Gross. They also have you fill out a review of the massage in the waiting room afterward. The student is supposed to leave the room so you can fill it out and turn it in at the counter. This guy handed me the clipboard and sat right next to me (still sweating). Was not a great experience.

by Anonymousreply 4605/04/2021

I don't especially want to remember my bad experiences - there was a time for health reasons I went to quite a few people and on reflection I'd rather not.

but R46 reminded me of a woman who gave me a massage at the Glastonbury health centre in Somerset, England. She was talking quite a lot (always a mistake) but maybe I wanted to chat. I remember she had shit breath and managed to breath it into my face several times. Gurl don't breath into the faces of your clients...especially if your breath smells like shit.

I hate smelly women.

by Anonymousreply 4705/04/2021

R43- I forgot to mention that they were both over 300lbs each.

by Anonymousreply 4805/04/2021
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!