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I'm bored with life

I am bored with life. Yet, I have nothing to be bored of. I have great friends I see once a week or more. I am fortunate to have a job and not be struggling. But at the same time I am lonely, sad, and bored.

Saturday night, I poured myself a scotch and listened to Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 5 (played by Glenn Gould and conducted by Leopold Stokowski, great recording). That was the best night I have had in a really long time. It seems all I want to do is drink and listen to music alone.

Nothing on TV interests me, but I can't help but sit and watch the same shows. I am tired of reading the same type of books, but I continue to read the same genre (mainly history).

I have been/going to many cool places this year- Atlanta, Big Bend National Park, Mexico, San Antonio, Boston, and Houston.

Nothing seems to interest me though, am I depressed? An alcoholic? Does anyone else feel this way?

by Anonymousreply 51Last Saturday at 8:57 AM

I'm not trying to seek attention or be a troll, but trying to get help and see if anyone else is having this problem.

by Anonymousreply 105/03/2021

You're in need of a purpose or meaning. Do something that isn't about you. Volunteer, help homeless children, adopt abused and neglected pets.

by Anonymousreply 205/03/2021

Get out of yourself and do something nice for other people.

Volunteer your time and energy to somebody who has it worse off than you.

by Anonymousreply 305/03/2021

Why not volunteer ?

by Anonymousreply 405/03/2021

I hate threads like this. Get off your fucking ass and contribute something to the world. Dont sit on DL and whine you useless fuck.

by Anonymousreply 505/03/2021

It's called old age, honey. You gotta find another purpose to make your last years worthwhile. I'm amazed at how many eldergays these days are taking up playing Bridge. It's the new new old thing.

by Anonymousreply 605/03/2021

R2 I am involved in things- my church, rotary, and a few boards and committees. We just have not been meeting.

by Anonymousreply 705/03/2021

Try some rampant sex and Meth, it will pick you right up, you're depressed and need some excitement.

by Anonymousreply 805/03/2021

R8 I'm asexual. I've never had sex with a person I wasn't in a relationship with. I don't do hookups.

by Anonymousreply 905/03/2021

I think I really just want to be wanted by someone...

by Anonymousreply 1005/03/2021

[quote] Saturday night, I poured myself a scotch and listened to Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 5 (played by Glenn Gould and conducted by Leopold Stokowski, great recording). That was the best night I have had in a really long time. It seems all I want to do is drink and listen to music alone.... I am tired of reading the same type of books, but I continue to read the same genre (mainly history).

OP, you sound a little bit pretentious. Possibly drinking too much alcohol (all you want to do is drink)?

Maybe just lean into it, find other people who love Beethoven & history books. Just be yourself.

by Anonymousreply 1105/03/2021

OP, try donating half of your savings to me. Trust me, you'll start feeling alive immediately.

by Anonymousreply 1205/03/2021

R11 I know a few but they are all old.

R12 are you good looking? ha

by Anonymousreply 1305/03/2021

It is the alcohol.

And, if you have to ask if you are an alcoholic, you already know the answer.

Change your routine, stop drinking.

by Anonymousreply 1405/03/2021

I have to say that volunteering has been one of the most meaningful and, dare I say fun, activities I have undertaken in recent years.

It's almost irrespective of the "cause." Something about filtering humanity and ending up with only those humans willing to devote their time to help others makes for a refreshing change of pace from the rest of my existence.

by Anonymousreply 1505/03/2021

Exercise. Doesn't have to be anything major. It almost always beats back my blues/neurosis.

by Anonymousreply 1605/03/2021

A week in Paris will ease the bite of it.

by Anonymousreply 1705/03/2021

Sorry, but your problem, Op. It’s all about determination and attitude.

by Anonymousreply 1805/03/2021

Humblebragging.

by Anonymousreply 1905/03/2021

OP, head over to the magic mushroom threads. Pretty great stuff and I'm a recent convert. I was feeling like you were for a good three years. Not depressed, just bored as as hell and could barely muster up a reason to stop watching movies in bed all day. Just go take a look through the threads and consider it.

by Anonymousreply 2005/03/2021

Sounds like clinical depression. Probably wise to go see a psychiatrist.

by Anonymousreply 2105/03/2021

[quote] I have been/going to many cool places this year- Atlanta, Big Bend National Park, Mexico, San Antonio, Boston, and Houston.

If you consider any of these "cool places", your big problem is that you are boring. Do you wear a smoking jacket or are you more a kimono guy while listening so classical music and drinking scotch?

OP, you can't help it if you're dull and boring. God did that to give the world some variety. Otherwise, everybody would be just like me. And there wouldn't be enough sailors to go around. Your life doesn't have to be dull. It's up to you to make it interesting.

by Anonymousreply 2205/03/2021

Oh shut up, you rank twit at R22.

by Anonymousreply 2305/03/2021

I think I am just lonely. I feel like no one wants me romantically. Lots of rejection recently. How do you overcome this?

I want more than a hookup. I want someone to watch terrible horror movies with, to go on trips with, to lay in bed when it thunderstorms, etc. Does anyone else feel this way?

by Anonymousreply 2405/04/2021

R24 I had that for many years and then he died. Be careful what you wish for.

by Anonymousreply 2505/04/2021

R25 damn

by Anonymousreply 2605/04/2021

Me too OP. I am bored as well. When my parents were alive, I had some reason that I worried about them. Now it is just me, and I am like what now. I am attractive so never felt much desired and now as I am an elder gay even whatever little sex I had is gone as well.

by Anonymousreply 2705/04/2021

Have you stopped dreaming of what you sant to be when you grow up? When do these dreams end, eldergays?

by Anonymousreply 2805/04/2021

Everytime I sing in the shower I imagine I'm on one of those TV talent shows, bringing the audience to their feet- and to tears.

by Anonymousreply 2905/04/2021

[quote] I want someone to watch terrible horror movies with, to go on trips with, to lay in bed when it thunderstorms, etc.

...why? Everyone is so annoying.

by Anonymousreply 30Last Friday at 12:35 PM

It’s called Existential Ennui.

When you’re not using your time all day to look for food to survive, you have to fill those hours with entertainment— everything from school to job to movies/Tv/music fills that space.

We have so much entertainment at our fingertips but we’re bored.

Have you considered getting into fisting?

by Anonymousreply 31Last Friday at 12:38 PM

Have you tried London?

by Anonymousreply 32Last Friday at 1:17 PM

{quote} I want someone to watch terrible horror movies with, to go on trips with, to lay in bed when it thunderstorms, etc.

I want to make love on a train cross country. I want to run naked it in a rainstorm. You put this in my head, DL, so now what?

by Anonymousreply 33Last Friday at 11:22 PM

If I were you, I’d start a crow civil war. This requires planning, continuity, and pettiness.

First, find a murder of crows; they’re all about the place so it shouldn’t be difficult.

Then, having purchased good quality in-shell peanuts, feed half the crows delicious peanuts regularly at a set time.

As the secondary group of crows shows up, deny them tasty peanuts and loudly announce you will not share with them for reasons known to them.

After a month, switch your allegiance and loudly announce to the first group of crows that the second group has shared revolting information about the first group.

Repeat, flounce off, watch what happens.

You could repeat this experiment by opening up a donut shop and using employees. Many find this more rewarding.

by Anonymousreply 34Last Friday at 11:31 PM

Volunteer. Be a mentor.

by Anonymousreply 35Last Friday at 11:35 PM

I totally get you, OP.

I like solitude, classical music, and a nice dram of Islay. But sometimes it becomes too much and I get cabin fever and sad.

A little less drinking, a little more exercising and some travelling (outside of the US!) should do wonders to your soul.

Let all the nellies here talk — you seem like a gentle soul.

by Anonymousreply 36Last Friday at 11:40 PM

Classical music with a great scotch makes for a wonderful and cozy evening, but not if you do it every evening. OP, you're never going to find somebody if you stay in your house. Get out there and live a little. Explore your hometown like a tourist, learn to golf or play tennis, take up a new musical instrument and join a group of other classical music fans. If you enjoy art, take classes. If you want a bit of exercise to raise those endorphins, join a gym, a yoga class or even a cycling club. A photography, cooking or pottery class is always fun. Volunteer at a food bank, shelter, or give a class at your local elder care facility. I'd say to look online for classes, but you need to get out of the house. Take up geocatching, easy hiking or swimming. Join a little theater company, take singing or dance classes. Throw some small dinner parties for friends, with everything cooked by you. Try a trivia night.

You seem to love to travel. I keep a world map on the back of my bedroom door and throw darts to determine where I will travel next. Learn a bit the language of a country you'll be visiting next year at a community college.

I'm nearing 70, and I have far too many thing going on in my life because I've found things that I really enjoy doing and had planned in advance because I didn't want to vegetate in my house. The next thing I'm going to do is to take up guitar playing again, after many, many years (well, decades). I'm just waiting until my birthday comes around because I want to get a very good guitar.

OP, I'd talk to a professional about your drinking and lack of interest in life. There are a world of things to do out there which will put you in contact with people, but you need to take the first step by yourself.

by Anonymousreply 37Last Saturday at 1:14 AM

[quote]Volunteer at a food bank, shelter

Thank goodness

by Anonymousreply 38Last Saturday at 1:52 AM

[quote]I think I am just lonely. I feel like no one wants me romantically. Lots of rejection recently.

What sort of rejection? Dating apps?

by Anonymousreply 39Last Saturday at 1:54 AM

r34 I think you're on to something. Crows changed this guy's life.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 40Last Saturday at 2:53 AM

IMO you do sound clinically depressed OP.

by Anonymousreply 41Last Saturday at 3:02 AM

There’s a saying - only boring people are bored. This is clearly about loneliness, not boredom so it’s good OP arrived at that realization mid-thread. Lots of good advice here about changing routine and getting more out in the world. OP has much to be grateful, but it’s ok to want more. Now it’s time to go about the business of getting it. Best of luck, OP.

by Anonymousreply 42Last Saturday at 3:06 AM

[quote] Lots of good advice here

The volunteering?

by Anonymousreply 43Last Saturday at 3:09 AM

Kill yourself immediately, Edwin.

by Anonymousreply 44Last Saturday at 3:13 AM

[quote] I am involved in things- my church, rotary, and a few boards and committees.

That's not a purpose, a passion, you are missing the point people are trying to get across to you Those are more like social obligations you have decided were good for you to do. But I sense no burning desire to attend them from the way you phrased it. You need something that makes you wake up every day thinking it's the first thing you want to do, all you can think about.

I am never board, in fact, I wish I had more time to explore more things in the world. It has nothing to do with age, I am 57 and just as curious about things as I was when I was 7. It's not always the same thing, usually something sparks my interest, and I dive deep into it without over thinking where it might end. So for example, last month I was thinking about upgrading my computer when I stumbled on a case modding site. I went down that rabbit hole and OMG what people are doing now is amazing. They look like works of art. One thing led to another and now I am in the process of building my own computer from scratch with custom water cooling. You know what, even if I never do this again, the knowledge I gained is ten times what it was. Even if I never build one again, when I walk into a store I will be way more informed on all the details and techno lingo than 90% of the population.

When that's done something else will spark my interest without even trying. My point is, you will never be board if you fallow a passion and learn something new in the process. Dont look for things that fit in the nice little box you have trapped your self image around. Throw that idea out and approach everything in life like it's the first time you have ever see it. Don't concern yourself what people think about your new found interests. That's a roadblock to growth and creativity. And as others have said, think about helping others, or society not just being entertained. What kind of mark do you want to leave the world?

by Anonymousreply 45Last Saturday at 3:59 AM

You need to get involved with a cause. Get out of your own way. The only other thing that would cure you would be if something really bad would happen to you. But you have all of this going for you and you aren't helping someone or something that doesn't. DO something!

by Anonymousreply 46Last Saturday at 4:06 AM

Ennui. Look it up.

by Anonymousreply 47Last Saturday at 4:08 AM

[quote]I've never had sex with a person I wasn't in a relationship with. I don't do hookups.

Well, that's your problem right there. No wonder you're bored. Look at everything you're missing. What you left yourself with is obviously not enough.

Go suck some dick, OP. Sex. It is the way of the world.

by Anonymousreply 48Last Saturday at 4:10 AM

[quote]You need to get involved with a cause.

BLM?

by Anonymousreply 49Last Saturday at 4:14 AM

[quote] I am bored with life. Yet, I have nothing to be bored of. I have great friends I see once a week or more. I am fortunate to have a job and not be struggling. But at the same time I am lonely, sad, and bored.

Once you actually realize there's nothing better out there you'll reach contentment in your life. What are the alternatives ? Being poor and struggling certainly puts you into survival more and you have no time being bored, you have a clear objective and make steps towards bettering your condition. The other alternative is being a wealthy big shot, well that's a tiny minority of lucky or extremely skilled people. Do you have that / want that ? If not then stop fretting. You're not struggling, you have a job, and you have friends. Your body seems to give you no pain since you haven't mentionned it.

Be happy with what you have. Your life is normal.

by Anonymousreply 50Last Saturday at 4:43 AM

All sound advice and perspective given. I’m watching this thread with interest.

However, seems to me it’s a complex issue requiring deep work behind cognitive-behavioural adaptations, and for that OP has my sympathy—indeed, my empathy. Could be wrong here, but as I see it; the core issue for people like us (depressed types who tend to apathy/anhedonia) is belief and a sense of a specific hope for the future. Without your belief (I.e. your deeply-held and unconscious emotional conviction, not just your thinking or actions), there’s nothing to centre one’s world around and no basis of core personality/identity/idealism matrix. Given the societal messaging/conditioning we are bombarded with in the West, today and the evidence that long-established freedoms and securities are crumbling or are based on horrifying foundations, who wouldn’t feel nihilistic? Who wouldn’t feel deep down like nothing has meaning, so ‘what’s the point’?

This is different to mindset or mentality, to the ‘positive thinking’ and ‘mindfulness’ that is so often pushed as the cure-all to psychological or emotional turmoil. Because what is optimism without hope, and a context in which to feel happy or sad?

Like me, OP cannot (or will not, for long-buried subconscious reasons unknown to him?) locate anything to emotionally back and then throw himself behind. To do this would be a case of finding and having something to live for, then cleaving to that, rather than living in a contented cud-chewing state of pleasant ‘optimal’ happy-thoughts...

Here’s something my best therapist (the only good one I ever had, out of several) once asked me to get to the root of ennui: OP, how do you get fired up? How does your anger and your zeal usually find expression? In what areas? And what beyond the basic Needs (cf. Maslow’s Hierarchy) would it make you personally aggrieved to lose or to not be able to do/have/experience?

Now, this is a lot to process and confront. Myself, I’m still getting my head around all that myself, and a year later I’ve arrived at only a tentative definition, but a breakthrough is a breakthrough, and I don’t believe I’d be able to extract even mild enjoyment of my current life without getting there. Idk, just something to ponder.

Side note: could your boredom and reluctance to do anything also have to do with your family or social circle? For example, I have spent many years suppressing my natural interests, hobbies, personal life goals, and preferences and orientations (including sexual, sometimes), for fear that certain family members will use it against me. In particular, I have a BPD emotionally-incestuous grandmother and a smothering martyr-mother who tend to glom on to the things I do or like (including fundamentals like dress and diet) because codependent abuse has starved them of any real genuine core identity. My father on the other hand was always dismissive of my interests growing up, thinking them a betrayal of class and normality as well as ‘weak’, and in the few instances he wasn’t neglecting me tried to push his interests (sports, the outdoors, the military) onto me. If you’ve dealt with this, then it can really fuck up how you go about asserting your own enjoyment of life and creating an identity.

Pulling for you, anyway, OP mate. For both of us, and anyone like us. Boredom and ennui sound like innocuous snowflake problems, but; in cases where the sufferer is disadvantaged, disillusioned, or impaired in some way, the consequences of letting it grow can sometimes be catastrophic (for example, radical politics, hooliganism and even low-level domestic t3rr0rism can have roots in ennui).

by Anonymousreply 51Last Saturday at 8:57 AM
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