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People from your past

Do you ever get curious or even worry about some of them? I lived with a guy for awhile who turned out to be bipolar. When I met him he was doing well, taking his meds (which I thought were for mild depression) and I had never met someone with BPD. Long story short he spiraled out, I caught him in bed with someone else who was a druggie, he got fired from his job at a college and he was out on the street and collecting disability last I heard along with being diagnosed with a congenital heart condition. I always wonder if he got cleaned up and leveled out but he seems to have literally dropped off the face of the earth. No social media presence at all.

by Anonymousreply 7714 hours ago

I'm a location researcher, OP. Too bad you can't share name and last known location. Unless he's John Smith of California.

by Anonymousreply 105/01/2021

OP is trolling. Don't feed this thread. He has run out of anti-vaxxer material.

by Anonymousreply 205/01/2021

What are babbling about R2? I've never been an antivaxxer

by Anonymousreply 305/01/2021

DL has definitely got mentally ill weirdos posting like R2.

by Anonymousreply 405/01/2021

You lived with him or he was your bf? What do you mean you "caught him in bed"? Is a roommate not allowed to fuck?

by Anonymousreply 505/01/2021

We were a couple R5.

by Anonymousreply 605/01/2021


by Anonymousreply 705/01/2021

I don't every worry about a single person from my past - mild curiosity only when something makes me think of them, but certainly not worry.

by Anonymousreply 805/01/2021

The vast majority were doing their best when I met them. I tried to do no harm and I hope they’re still doing ok.

One of the nice things about being the messy one is that people are relieved you never ask for help or money.

by Anonymousreply 905/01/2021

OP = Matt

by Anonymousreply 1005/01/2021

Lol R10. That's a huge no. Matt would be ranting about Jews and heteros.

by Anonymousreply 1105/01/2021

Well OP I had a dear friend similar to what you describe. His life was a roller coaster of achievement and destruction and he spent long stretches in homeless SRO on the city's dime despite him having advanced degrees. The combination of heavy bipolar drugs and drinking killed him in his early 50s. Your friend is probably dead, I'm sad to speculate.

by Anonymousreply 1205/01/2021

I have thought that too R12.

by Anonymousreply 1305/01/2021

[quote] he spent long stretches in homeless SRO on the city's dime despite him having advanced degrees. The combination of heavy bipolar drugs and drinking killed him in his early 50s. Your friend is probably dead, I'm sad to speculate.

Told you...

by Anonymousreply 1405/01/2021

I'm always looking up people from my past.

I know you're not supposed to compare your life and material possessions to others, but I can't help but be upset when I see that my heterosexual, married friends are living in nicer houses than I.

by Anonymousreply 1505/01/2021

I reached out to four exes/fb during the pandemic. Two have stayed in touch.

Work and casual acquaintances are in touch too, mainly as a result of my initiation.

by Anonymousreply 1605/01/2021

R1 Find Tommy Henderson ,born in Alabama and lived in fl ! He'd be early 60s now. In and out of prison in his youth. Pretty sure hes long dead,but you never know. I have talked to 2 different people from my past ,relationships that didnt end well,and they both are crazy and scraping bottom. So it wasnt just me !

by Anonymousreply 1705/01/2021

I've found two obituaries of people I knew by looking them up. One was an abusive ex-lover and the other was a landlord who owned a gay boarding house in L.A. I lived at on and off for over a decade. He wasn't exactly the Anna Madrigal of that area, but he was unforgettable.

by Anonymousreply 1805/01/2021

I lost touch with one my college roommate and a few years ago I looked for him online and read he died in 2000. His brother also died 10 years later. His parents had passed and his sister was no where to be found. I wish I can find out HOW he died? He never married or had kids. He loved drinking a lot but it was college. He was a good friend though.

by Anonymousreply 1905/01/2021

R3 R4 we have someone who is falsely accusing random people of being specific trolls, I think it's D-vida! She used to do this all the time, I think she's back on her bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 2005/01/2021

Is she also the faggot troll claiming "people" are watching a poster for stalking? Cause that bitch is fucking crazy.

by Anonymousreply 2105/01/2021

D-vida? Is he/she a new one? I've never heard of it?

by Anonymousreply 2205/01/2021

Aka Poo R22.

by Anonymousreply 2305/01/2021

The "faggot" troll infests all the RuPaul Drag race thread. It stinks!

by Anonymousreply 2405/01/2021

got it. thanks, r23.

by Anonymousreply 2505/01/2021

R2 here and I'm not R14. D-vida must be bored or drinking tonight.

by Anonymousreply 2605/01/2021

These days I’m afraid to ask after friends I haven’t heard from in a while. I’m afraid they might have died.

by Anonymousreply 2705/02/2021

Well this thread went off the rails in a hurry

by Anonymousreply 2805/02/2021

I used to know a woman named Alex Forrest. I wonder what became of her.

by Anonymousreply 2905/02/2021

I've kept in touch with most of my ex's. One has died (heart problems) but all have gone on to do okay

by Anonymousreply 3005/02/2021

I haven’t seen my first boyfriend in over 20 years, but we still kept in touch until about 3 years ago. All his social media is gone, and the one phone number I had is dead. I really do wonder what happened.

by Anonymousreply 3105/02/2021

I often come across YouTube, Flickr, etc, pages that haven’t been updated in years. I always assume those people have died.

by Anonymousreply 3205/02/2021


by Anonymousreply 3305/02/2021

I’m friends with a few exes but sometimes I feel sentimental and wonder about other lovers and friends from my past. So far none of them have died as far as I know. I have one who seems to have disappeared completely after having an identity crisis and I worry he may be dead.

by Anonymousreply 3405/02/2021

I had a horrible experience with my first and last ever gay roommate, Brian back in the 80s. I can't remember his last name to look him up. I would love to see how he has turned out.

by Anonymousreply 3505/03/2021

Gay boarding house??!!

by Anonymousreply 3605/03/2021

I knew Joe Webb from Columbus OH. Beautiful guy. Lived NYC early 90s, then moved to SF. His father was a big shot in the police dept in Columbus. Never have been able to find him. Often wondered how things worked out for him.

by Anonymousreply 3705/03/2021

I was burned one time too many to go contacting people from my past because some are still active alcoholics and addicts and assume you want something. Let sleeping dog sleep.

Hint- if you don’t get an amends from someone, they aren’t truly sober yet.

by Anonymousreply 3805/03/2021

I regret making contact with some of the people from my past. I’ve never truly rekindled a connection because people are in different places both literally and figuratively. Most just turn into a weird online voyeuristic thing of occasionally liking a vacation photo. In a moment of weakness I accepted a friend request from someone who was a a user in the past. I had originally intentionally let the friendship die on the vine. Within two weeks, he was asking to stay at my place while travelling. Blocked!

by Anonymousreply 3905/03/2021

"I often come across YouTube, Flickr, etc., pages that haven’t been updated in years. I always assume those people have died."

Really? Just because a person gives up social media you think they're dead?

Seems a little dramatic and extreme.

Maybe they just got tired of posting/updating.

by Anonymousreply 4005/03/2021

I wonder about people from my past -- especially how they fared during the pandemic. But even with lots more time on my hands during lockdown, I didn't bother to look any of them up. Once a door closes for me, it stays shut.

by Anonymousreply 4105/03/2021

R32 I've abandoned many such sites and I'm still kicking.

by Anonymousreply 4205/03/2021

Nope. I don’t fuck with past persons anymore. They’re in my past for a reason.

by Anonymousreply 4305/03/2021

One day I was looking up a friend from my childhood in hopes of reconnecting. His obituary popped up. Then another time, I randomly thought of a guy I worked who was fired hoping to see where he landed. His obituary popped up. Just last week I wanted see what happened to friend of a friend only to find out she died 10 years ago. I've stopped looking up people.

by Anonymousreply 4405/03/2021

I looked up my ex roommate obit last night but I got his brothers "memory page" so I looked through it and their are photos of my roommate. Brought back memories. He was a good but kind of troubled guy. He was really handsome.

by Anonymousreply 4505/03/2021

For those who agree that "Once a door closes for me, it stays shut", how do you or would you respond if someone from the past reaches out to you?

by Anonymousreply 4605/03/2021

R46 speaking only for myself as an expert in AvPD—if it’s possible to do without seeming like a socipath I don’t respond. If I can’t get out of replying, I’ll usually just be polite but distant and cagey; not really responding with anything meaningful or detailed. Lots of emojis, “Yeah good thanks”, “ok” and nothing else. If someone wants to know what I’m up to, I’ll usually minimise, deflect, or white lie just to make sure I can’t be drawn into a longer convo, cross-examined about it, or tracked down.

I don’t feel there’s a need to be a raging cunt to someone you don’t want to speak to (it’s imprudent, and sometimes inadvisable if the other person isn’t stable), but you don’t really owe another person whose no longer in your life your time or full attention either.

by Anonymousreply 4705/03/2021

What's avpd?

by Anonymousreply 4805/03/2021

When I was drinking alcohol, I would Google ex-boyfriends, former friends, etc. IME, nothing positive comes from that.

IME, people from my past contact me for two reasons.

(1) General nosiness & their life is going somewhat well at the time. They tell you how successful they are, according to their metrics: got married, had a baby, got a new job. They're not really interested in anything further than that. I no longer respond to these types of emails, texts, etc.

(2) In a rough patch in their current relationship and want some sexual comfort. (Ex-boyfriends.) I no longer respond to that, either. Did that before and ended up feeling guilty and used.

by Anonymousreply 4905/03/2021


by Anonymousreply 5005/03/2021

This wasn’t voluntarily searching someone from my past, but the only time I appreciated a Facebook friend recommendation was when it was my junior high bully, who had been a popular jock, but became a fat ugly cop.

by Anonymousreply 5105/03/2021

OP, he would probably have shown up in a Google search if he'd died.

by Anonymousreply 5205/03/2021

You know who is a faggot? Dan Gallagher is a faggot. I bet he doesn’t even like girls. I bet they scare him.

by Anonymousreply 5305/03/2021

No, I don't have much curiosity about the past and people from the past. Occasionally I may wonder about someone who springs to mind after having not thought about them in ages, but it's a fleeting thing.

The internet is the divide between people I lost track of unintentionally and people I chose to let disappear. Through it I reconnected with a few good friends from college and we are in regular contact and make a point to come together now and then. A couple of childhood friends that I had been out of touch with for many years reconnected as well. In each case we are time zones and countries apart but I am happy to be in contact with them. Likewise there are people whom I quite like, who were once colleagues or friends or both with whom I keep up online, but it's unlikely that geography will align in favor of meeting again.

For all of that I'm a bit out of sight out of mind about people. From time to time something may make me think of some guy I dated, or someone I used to be friends with whom I lost track, but it's a fleeting thing. Only a couple of times have I ever taken to Google to search someone from my past.

by Anonymousreply 5405/04/2021

one ex from about 20 years ago, stumbled back in to my life. we maintain a platonic relationship.

though we mostly exchange funny vids/gifs (we have the same kind of very British dark humour), he had indicated to me that he had several "wet" dreams, that involved me.

I laughingly brushed it off. he has put on quite some weight and has a husband. having had too many dramas with longterm partners involved, it's a big no for me (regardless of his weight, that I could ignore, as he has a great cock and is very good in bed :p)

by Anonymousreply 5505/04/2021

I decided (out of morbid curiosity) to look up an ex of mine, whom I was madly in love with, and who broke my heart. Found out that he was arrested (last year) for assault on his partner.

by Anonymousreply 5605/04/2021

I am still trying to find my firstlove, just to see how he is doing (not about viscously seeing anything bad, just to see that he is fine). unfortunately no trace (both of us are social media nayers and impossible to find via google searches). bummer

by Anonymousreply 5705/04/2021

Isn't there an app that can tell you if your name has ever been searched?

I read that somewhere, I think.

by Anonymousreply 5805/04/2021

r58 why on earth would you want to know that? a genuine question.

by Anonymousreply 5905/04/2021

I recently googled and old friend only to find he died in an accident 7 years ago. Strangely, I felt guilty for not looking him up earlier.

by Anonymousreply 6005/04/2021

This morning, just on a whim, I decided to do a search for a girl I used to hang out with when I was in my teens. She and her mother had moved away after the drowning death of her younger brother and father. Sadly, I found that she had died three years ago of a lung disorder. Some people can't get a break.

by Anonymousreply 6105/04/2021

Searched for decades to find out what happened to the first boy I had feelings for when I was a teen. Recently remembered his mom's name and the search got an obit hit. Amazingly detailed (and somewhat sad) story that provided clues. Found the boy's FB. Had a few pictures from around the time I knew him. He had married a woman, had beautiful kids, but turned into a Trumper. *sigh*

by Anonymousreply 6205/04/2021

I love all my exes and fbs still.

by Anonymousreply 6305/04/2021

r63, on a lot of the above, I am saddened that we need the digital network to find out as to how our peers are :( grew up in IT in the 80s, having worked in a lot of complex IT projects, I am growing an analogue approach (my headphones have cables for example)

sometimes I wonder, if people know if I am dead, just because I am not on social media. on the other hand, the handful of people that I have dear to my heart, will know without any status on any plattform.

I am saddened to hear some comments and I ain't sure if this is healthy?

by Anonymousreply 6405/04/2021

r63 I forgot to add someting, form the exes that touched me, I am still in contact, regardless of social media

by Anonymousreply 6505/04/2021

Does anyone know where I could find info of how a person died or of what they died from? I know it's a weird question but the obits tell you nothing and the news is very limited online. Thanks.

by Anonymousreply 6605/04/2021

R59 -- Any number of explanations of why you would ant to know if a search has been made of name.

You may want to know if a prospective employer searched for you, or an unknown sibling looking for you because you're adopted, or maybe you may want to search for somebody but never want your search to be known.

by Anonymousreply 6705/04/2021


by Anonymousreply 6805/04/2021

R66, I think of two things; fatal car crash or cancer. Obits mostly do not give cause of death.

by Anonymousreply 6905/04/2021

[Quote] I think of two things; fatal car crash or cancer. Obits mostly do not give cause of death.

Interesting, A car crash was the first thing I thought of. He was a little wild at times and thought he was invincible. The other thing I thought of was suicide. Both would bum me out to hear. He was kind and so fucking handsome but his demons did haunt him.

by Anonymousreply 7005/04/2021

Now I dread not hearing back to my text messages because of covid.

by Anonymousreply 71Last Friday at 1:06 AM

Rare is the person who has zero internet presence . Yet one of my ex boyfriends absolutely cannot be found. I even paid a professional with a 97% success rate and HE couldnt find him. The last trace of him was in 87 for a drunk and disorderly charge. He wasnt a homeless person,or mentally ill,and was a hard worker so there should be something,somewhere.

by Anonymousreply 72Last Friday at 5:47 PM


by Anonymousreply 73Last Friday at 10:18 PM

Check mugshots for your state. You'll be shocked who all has been arrested and for what!

by Anonymousreply 7414 hours ago

Some of my fellow little homosexual boys from grade school and junior high.

Did they ever find happiness?

by Anonymousreply 7514 hours ago

OP do you still have his head in your freezer?

by Anonymousreply 7614 hours ago

I often look up old high school and college friends. I think about reaching out and saying hello--but then I realize I don't care. I'm sure either do they

by Anonymousreply 7714 hours ago
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