Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

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Let’s be the Daily Mail!

I’m TINY shorts, ample assets, shirtless at the beach, mini-me sons or daughters, showing them what they’re missing, peachy posteriors and a housewive’s amazing hack to do something that everybody already knows about.

by Anonymousreply 16520 hours ago

I'm a British Z-lister's pert posterior.

by Anonymousreply 104/30/2021

I’m jaw-dropping curves.

by Anonymousreply 204/30/2021

I'm the shade.

by Anonymousreply 304/30/2021

I’m the Daily Mail. I give the customers what they want.

by Anonymousreply 404/30/2021

I’m Elizabeth Hurley’s svelte frame.

by Anonymousreply 504/30/2021

I’m the most popular newspaper in the world.

by Anonymousreply 604/30/2021

Leo's Dad Bod!

by Anonymousreply 704/30/2021

I’m a bikini body.

by Anonymousreply 804/30/2021

I’m a D lister refugee from TOWIE. I’m pregnant. I dress my baby bump.

by Anonymousreply 904/30/2021

I'm slim pins!

by Anonymousreply 1004/30/2021

I'm Steve Irwin's "hot niece". No one but Daily Mail readers know who the fuck I am, and even they don't understand why DM keeps plundering my social media accounts.

by Anonymousreply 1104/30/2021

I'm the moderated in advance comments on all Zac Efron articles.

by Anonymousreply 1204/30/2021

I'm Todd Thicke. The rest of the world has moved on, but DM keeps trying to make me (and my girlfriend) happen.

by Anonymousreply 1304/30/2021

Hahahaha I love you R11

by Anonymousreply 1404/30/2021

I'm the excellent picture coverage.

by Anonymousreply 1504/30/2021

I'm Dr. Phil. Every year around the holidays, my PR company arranges for DM to do some fluff piece on my family. I think it's ridiculous, but my wife gets excited when someone wants to take her picture. Then a few weeks later, I'll return the favor, and in an act of cross-promotion, I'll have some DM "investigative reporter" appear on my show to give his take on a news story.

by Anonymousreply 1604/30/2021

I’m Rebel Wilson. I flaunt my curves! Which is DM shorthand for “still fat”.

by Anonymousreply 1704/30/2021

I'm the made-up articles attacking liberals and ignoring the misdeeds of conservatives

by Anonymousreply 1804/30/2021

I’m the “toned midriff”. But I really am.

by Anonymousreply 1904/30/2021

I'm the story that's just three sentences long. An unnecessary bulleted list appears above me. Then, the 12 photo captions each repeat the entire story.

by Anonymousreply 2004/30/2021


by Anonymousreply 2104/30/2021

a housewive's

by Anonymousreply 2204/30/2021

I’m Lauren Goodger’s thong - I am barely hanging on.

by Anonymousreply 2304/30/2021

I'm the word "VERY". I always appear in all capital letters.

by Anonymousreply 2404/30/2021

I'm the way they always call Gemma Collins 'toned' and Niall Hogran a 'hunk'.

by Anonymousreply 2504/30/2021

I'm Emily Ratajkowsi's cartoonishly over-filled lips. New pics daily.

by Anonymousreply 2604/30/2021

I’m a VERY busty display. I’m often to be found in a skimpy bikini, frolicking on the beach.

In Bognor Regis.

by Anonymousreply 2704/30/2021

'Harry Styles goes topless in new shoot'

They love writing about him as if he's a woman. Homophobic.

by Anonymousreply 2804/30/2021

I’m “Her Royal Hotness” for describing Pippa Middleton. I never took off. It’s been ten years now.

by Anonymousreply 2904/30/2021

Can you remember when they made a facebook page for Pippa's non existent ass?

by Anonymousreply 3004/30/2021

I'm the photo captions. I draw attention to the subject's imperfections by praising them. For example, I describe Kidman's hair as "her glossy locks."

by Anonymousreply 3104/30/2021

I'm the owner of the Daily Mail and I'm delighted that so many American Social Justice Warriors pay attention to my popular newspaper.

by Anonymousreply 3204/30/2021

R12 Same with the Aaron Rodgers articles!

by Anonymousreply 3304/30/2021

"Rugged good looks"

by Anonymousreply 3404/30/2021

I strip down to my bra and thong pants for a selection of sizzling snaps.

by Anonymousreply 3504/30/2021

I am the celebrity "mansion" which really is just an average-sized townhouse.

by Anonymousreply 3604/30/2021

I set pulses racing in semi-sheer lingerie including a nude bralet.

by Anonymousreply 3704/30/2021

I am the mysterious "friends" who always have insights into the inner workings of a celebrity's mind.

by Anonymousreply 3804/30/2021

I am Ben Affleck's hangov... oops, I mean large Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee.

by Anonymousreply 3904/30/2021

I am two dozen photos from the exact same set that make their way to the pages of the Daily Mail. Traditional publications usually employ a photo editor, who carefully selects the image(s) that best complement the text. But not at the Daily Mail. We'll print eveything you've got.

by Anonymousreply 4004/30/2021

I’m Katie Price’s fake tits.

by Anonymousreply 4104/30/2021

I’m the retarded Brits in the comments section who bitch about “cancel culture” and things in America being too “woke” even though it’s not our country.

by Anonymousreply 4204/30/2021

R12 I'm your twin, the moderated in advance comments on all Elton John articles.

by Anonymousreply 4304/30/2021

I'm the only newspaper in the world that runs stories on soap opera developments like they were real news.

by Anonymousreply 4404/30/2021

I get tired as hell telling Americans again and again that no, I'm not part of Murdoch's stable.

by Anonymousreply 4504/30/2021

I’m the word “SLAMS!” whenever there’s an article about a celebrity “feud” (when most of the time there is no feud at all).

by Anonymousreply 4604/30/2021

I'm the leggy display of eye-popping pins.

by Anonymousreply 4704/30/2021

I’m the dizziness from trying to scroll through the endless layout that all just blends together.

by Anonymousreply 4804/30/2021

I'm the overweight celebrity who "displays her curves",

by Anonymousreply 4904/30/2021

I'm the unwanted videos and ads

by Anonymousreply 5004/30/2021

I'm Piers Morgan and my sole purpose is to be heard and felt in America. Fuck this tiny, wet island.

by Anonymousreply 5104/30/2021

I’m Luke Evans flaunting my buff physique, SHIRTLESS on the beach in a pair of TINY speedos.

by Anonymousreply 5204/30/2021

I’m Sarah Vine, pretending that I’m not married to Michael Gove.

by Anonymousreply 5304/30/2021

I’m the fastest to get pics of any interesting event.

by Anonymousreply 5404/30/2021

I'm the Socialist Paraparazzi on the Daily Mail staff.

I go to hoity-toity events and capture rich people behaving badly.

My favourite event is going to Ascot and capturing rich ladies get tipsy and allowing their back fat to spill out of their strapless gowns. Hopefully some of them will fall over and crawl on all fours for the policemen to pick them up.

by Anonymousreply 5504/30/2021

I’m 45 pounds overweight, looking “relaxed and casual” in the only clothes that I can now fit into.

by Anonymousreply 5604/30/2021

I'm head of the mutton-dressed-as-lamb department, where we fulsomely praise the eternal beauty of aged, fat and well-wrinkled one-time celebrities in order to attract a slew of clicks and derisive comments.

Works every time!

by Anonymousreply 5704/30/2021

I’m the sensationalist American shooting story. Works every time!

by Anonymousreply 5804/30/2021

R55 If you think that the drunk slappers at “hoity toity” events such as Ascot are rich ladies then you are absolutely the target demographic of the DM.

by Anonymousreply 5904/30/2021

I'm the Daily Mail's right-wing bullshit that gets posted to DL constantly.

by Anonymousreply 6004/30/2021

[quote] that gets posted to DL constantly.

I'm the stuff that gets posted to Datalounge constantly because all the other media uses paywalls and forbids Dataloungers from re-posting pictures.

The Daily Mail pays for wages for all those photographers that we so freely posted to DL constantly.

by Anonymousreply 6104/30/2021

I'm the weekly story about the Nazis, reminding little Englanders how Britain destroyed the German war machine all by its brave self.

by Anonymousreply 6205/01/2021

I’m the Australian expert who shares clever hacks.

by Anonymousreply 6305/01/2021

I’m the price of every house that’s even remotely featured in a story.

by Anonymousreply 6405/01/2021

I'm the 35 negative Biden articles in the USA section that is meant to deflect from the pedo republican fuckups.

by Anonymousreply 6505/01/2021

i'm one of the Love Island alumni trying to stretch out their 15 minutes by being/doing something edgy like changing their hair color, losing weight, hooking up with a former Love Islander, writing some inane book, fronting some fashion line, releasing an interview about how they are so different now, or how this couple is (impossibly) still together after all this time and planning to have babies.

by Anonymousreply 6605/01/2021

I'm a doctor in psychology. I get contacted to confirm the mental illnesses of escaping royals. I get paid to post my opinion. I get told what to post. I'm a true story. Confirmed by two top clinical psychologists.

by Anonymousreply 6705/01/2021

I'm a Stefanovic. I feature weekly. Why? No one knows

by Anonymousreply 6805/01/2021

Never heard of him, r68. i'm on DM fairly often. post a recent?

by Anonymousreply 6905/01/2021

R69 Stefanovic is an Aussie nobody

by Anonymousreply 7005/01/2021

I'm the bitter editorials at The Guardian brimming with jealously over Daily Mail circulation that is 10 times than ours. .

by Anonymousreply 7105/01/2021

I'm the Sidebar of Shame.

by Anonymousreply 7205/01/2021

I am the Photo Editor of the Daily Mail.

It's my job to ensure that the Queen is shown in only the most regal of poses.

And that Ivana Trump is always pictured stuffing her face with spaghetti.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 7305/01/2021

I'm looking "remarkably fresh-faced on an early morning coffee run."

What they mean to say is that I've been caught crawling home after a 72-hour coke bender.

by Anonymousreply 7405/01/2021

I'm the comments complaining that the DM is trashy and should be writing about real news. (Ha Ha.)

by Anonymousreply 7505/01/2021

i am ANY piece of recent shit to post about Harry or Meghan and the breach from HRH. ANYTHING no matter how small the speculation.

by Anonymousreply 7605/01/2021

I am HILARIOUS. I am never ever more than vaguely amusing, if that.

by Anonymousreply 7705/01/2021

I'm Gold Coast Bikini Lady #1,637 who — for the first time ever! — will reveal EXACTLY what I ate to lose my mum tum and shed 10 kg in the process!

Breakfast — fruit with Greek yogurt or steel-cut oats

Lunch — salad with grilled chicken

Dinner — grilled fish or chicken with steamed vegetables

Snack — apple with 1 tablespoon of almond butter

by Anonymousreply 7805/01/2021

I’m the breathless and hyperbolic coverage of the personal banalities and bacchanaels of footballers’ lives (and wives), because footie players are the only semi-attractive and physically-fit famous British people ever featured or discussed in this rag so we have to make the most of it. The Guardian despairs of me.

Since about 1995 I’ve been sitting on a backlog of tip-offs about which footballers are gay/bi behind closed doors, but as I get lovely and frequent kickbacks from UEFA/FIFA/FA/Sky/BBC not to name and shame, I shan’t...yet. The day the cheques stop coming is the day I go nuclear. The loverat stories, holiday snaps, wedding spreads, and hetero clubbing sexploits will do nicely for the time being.

For now, here’s some retired Premiership totty at a sunny Marbella resort, having a kickabout with some local kids. See, not all Brits abroad are awful!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 7905/01/2021

We are looking loved-up!

by Anonymousreply 8005/01/2021

I'm the daily 15-paragraph update on Arg's sobriety battle and weight-loss struggle.

by Anonymousreply 8105/01/2021

I'm Sarah Beeny's bathwater. I've already been used by her husband and sons!

I'm Sarah Beeny's concrete. I'm TOO MUCH!

I'm Sarah Beeny's access road. I'm going to cause accidents!

I'm Sarah Beeny's neighbour. I'm Adele!

I'm Sarah Beeny's woodland walks. I'm being slammed by viewers!

by Anonymousreply 8205/01/2021

I'm the article doing a delicate dance around the fact that a male celebrity is obviously gay and the "loved up" pictures with his beard aren't fooling anyone.

by Anonymousreply 8305/01/2021

I’m the ‘moderated in advance’ comments hidden waaaay down the bottom of the page.

by Anonymousreply 8405/01/2021

R61, I forgot that the Daily Mail is the only possible source of news and photos on the entire internet.

by Anonymousreply 8505/01/2021

I’m the Kardashian Kunts we used to rule the sidebar of shame!

by Anonymousreply 8605/01/2021

I'm the word " BIZARRE". The writers seem to have no idea what I mean and use me to describe everything.

by Anonymousreply 8705/01/2021

I'm the guest writer on Femail sharing how deeply and bitterly I regret having children. I would never tell them of course...but I will publish a column about my feelings with my name and photo. I serve as clickbait for hordes of outraged frauen, who comment on what a DESPICABLE woman I am.

by Anonymousreply 8805/01/2021

I’m the eleventy billionth DM article that talks trash about vaping, when it’s all pseudoscience and trash studies from universities.

by Anonymousreply 8905/01/2021

I'm the without-fail mention of the person's HOUSE PRICE in the article.

by Anonymousreply 9005/01/2021

I'm Samantha Brick, the trolliest troll who ever trolled. I get begrudging respect even from the hardcore Daily Mail haters.

by Anonymousreply 9105/01/2021

I'm the formulaic staged photograph of a celebrity frolicking on a sunny, sandy beach someplace because holidays away from a large body of water don't count.

by Anonymousreply 9205/01/2021

I’m an article on the American site which gives Washington as the location.

I’m never going tell you if it’s Washington D.C., the state of Washington, or any of the other states with their own Washingtons.

If you want to know, you’ll have to try to make out the writing on the door of the police car in the background.

Gotta go. I’m meeting my friends Clinton, Arlington, and Franklin.

by Anonymousreply 9305/01/2021

I'm Leo DiCaprio. Nobody in my camp pays the Daily Mail. So, they "print" photos of me and good friend Lukas Haas with the headline: "Boys Will Be Boys!" They also say that I "giggle" while Lukas "chases" me. I better get on top of this.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 9405/01/2021

I'm the word "REVEALED" which is routinely used when a celebrity shares the most mundane information about themselves.

by Anonymousreply 9505/01/2021

I'm the page that takes 35 minutes to load.

by Anonymousreply 9605/01/2021

I'm the top ad expanding down to cover a third of the page.

I'm the vertical ad on the right creeping over until I park myself right in the middle of the text.

We're the videos filling the bottom corners.

Together, we manage to block 95% of an article for those who don't use an ad blocker.

by Anonymousreply 9705/01/2021

[quote] I'm the page that takes 35 minutes to load.

I'm R96 still using AOL dial-up.

by Anonymousreply 9805/01/2021

I'm Hillary Duff!

by Anonymousreply 9905/01/2021

I'm THAT. As in the ring on THAT finger. Or the controversy over THAT song lyric. Or perhaps THAT infamous outfit....

by Anonymousreply 10005/01/2021

I am your proprietor Bubbles, previously married to Vere.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 10105/01/2021

I’m Jessica Alves. My next plastic surgery is bound to give me the self-confidence I crave.

by Anonymousreply 10205/01/2021

I'm the bizarre, life threatening allergy to some random substance like air, cotton fabric, or water that can only be found in someone interviewed by the daily mail health section.

by Anonymousreply 10305/01/2021

I'm cutting a (chic, toned, stylish) figure and I am usually describing fat people like Rebel Wilson.

by Anonymousreply 10405/01/2021

I'm "ultimate bikini babe." I only accompany photos like the one below.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 10505/01/2021

I'm the Daily Mail body language "expert".

by Anonymousreply 10605/01/2021

I’m the onslaught of Courtney Stodden articles 10 years ago.

by Anonymousreply 10705/01/2021

I'm the random, exclusive, and thoroughly-researched scoop on Wendy Williams' husband's second family who live close to Wendy's house.

by Anonymousreply 10805/01/2021

I’m a detached house. I’m to be aspired to.

by Anonymousreply 10905/01/2021

I am the value of the subject's house. I am always given in £ or $; never in euros.

by Anonymousreply 11005/01/2021

I'm the ease with which word-salad descriptions of nothing flow from the fingertips of DM writers...

Stunning starlet Arabella Bisto shocked stunned onlookers by plumping her perfect pout using the perfectly clear glass of a high-street shop window as a mirror! As glass is believed to be reflective, the sultry stunner turned to face a coveted floor-to-ceiling window made of pure glass before retrieving a mystery item from the supersized black bag which hung loosely from the bent elbow of her toned right arm.

As her tanned left hand emerged without hesitation from the opening at the top of the bag, it revealed slender fingers carefully holding a small plastic tube filled with an unknown substance which she then deftly applied to her face's top lip, which was situated directly beneath the left and right nostrils of her honed nose. Not one to play favourites, 2021's it-girl quickly followed up with the pillowy bottom lip, which also appeared to be firmly attached to her taut, line-free face. Turning away from the glass window with great aplomb, luscious Arabella unveiled her shocking secret to gobsmacked shoppers — she had expertly applied LASHINGS of peachy-pink nude gloss to each luscious lip!

by Anonymousreply 11105/01/2021

-0/10 R111

by Anonymousreply 11205/01/2021

^ LOL!

by Anonymousreply 11305/01/2021

“Don't tell me about the Press. I know *exactly* who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by the people who think they run the country. The Guardian is read by people who think they *ought* to run the country. The Times is read by the people who actually *do* run the country. The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The Financial Times is read by people who *own* the country. The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by *another* country. The Daily Telegraph is read by the people who think it is.'

"Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?"

"Sun readers don't care *who* runs the country - as long as she's got big tits.”

by Anonymousreply 11405/01/2021

I am C list celebrity offspring - I am shared by my parents.

by Anonymousreply 11505/01/2021

I am “tease” - the Mail doesn’t know what I mean, so that minor celebrities tease their next album. Or plot point of their reboot. Or their fusion fashion line due in M&S next week.

by Anonymousreply 11605/01/2021

I'm the fact that no-one ever "goes" anywhere; instead, they "step out".

by Anonymousreply 11705/01/2021

Help! I'm the DM print edition. I sit there lonely and untouched on supermarket racks. Pick me up. Or they'll kill me one day. Please!

by Anonymousreply 11805/01/2021

I'm all the newspaper print editions. All of us will be dead within the decade.

by Anonymousreply 11905/01/2021

I am the "Femail" column full of gossip and celebrities, yet I have not been attacked by feminists (or have I?).

by Anonymousreply 12005/01/2021

I’m the UNCANNY resemblance between Princess Charlotte and the Queen.

In one pair of pics, the UNCANNY resemblance is from the fact that they are both seated in chairs. In another, both pictured walking and holding someone’s hand. In yet another, Charlotte is holding a daffodil while Gan Gan is pictured in a FIELD of daffodils!


by Anonymousreply 12105/02/2021

I’m the random, genuinely gruesome and shocking article with graphic photos of either an animal being killed or abused, or a sickening story of horrific child abuse. I’m wedged between a fluff piece on skipping breakfast and an embarrassing gaffe caught on video at a New Mexico town council meeting. I’ll haunt you for days.

by Anonymousreply 12205/02/2021

[quote]I am two dozen photos from the exact same set that make their way to the pages of the Daily Mail. Traditional publications usually employ a photo editor, who carefully selects the image(s) that best complement the text. But not at the Daily Mail. We'll print eveything you've got.

I love that - it's like there is no editorial process *at all* - it's just throwing shit up against a wall to see what sticks.

Surely the DM has a FL/TX/OH desk in which they comb local news stories for the trashiest, drugged out people they can fit (extra points if they're obese!) to prominently display to demonstrate what a den of depravity the US is

by Anonymousreply 12305/02/2021

I’m drunk and hangover Jon Hamm going to the store buy more booze. This is and St.Louis journal are the only ones that cover me now.

by Anonymousreply 12405/02/2021

A screenprint I made from the DM one day - they were side-by-side.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 12505/02/2021

I'm Judy James, R106. The DM's resident body language and lip reading expert.

by Anonymousreply 12605/02/2021

I’m the lack of proofreading for spelling and punctuation.

by Anonymousreply 12705/02/2021

I’m the sub-editing team. I don’t exist.

by Anonymousreply 12805/02/2021

I’m the moderator on the forums. I regularly allow cranks and bigots free rein to post outrageous and potentially illegal comments. Especially when it comes to Jewish people.

by Anonymousreply 12905/02/2021

I'm the Royal Reporters. I have photoshopped the ass off my 10 year old profile pic.

by Anonymousreply 13005/02/2021

I always am the first with the scoop if you scratch below the headline and I always have the pictures to back it up. I am everywhere.

by Anonymousreply 13105/02/2021

R129 DM is published in Britain, where they don't think of anti-Semitism as anti-Semitism.

by Anonymousreply 13205/02/2021

I'm an article about Petula Clark just to remind you she's still alive. There'll be another one in the Grauniad next week.

by Anonymousreply 13305/02/2021

I’m the lumpen northern woman who feeds a family of 17 on £2.50 per month. I cook swill, and freeze it.

by Anonymousreply 13405/02/2021

[quote] I’m the moderator on the forums. I regularly allow cranks and bigots free rein to post outrageous and potentially illegal comments. Especially when it comes to Jewish people.

We're the Guardian actually hiring these bigots as long as they remember to say "Zionist" and not "Jew." That's the quiet part you're not supposed to say out loud, you know. 1945 and all that.

by Anonymousreply 13505/02/2021

I’m the Australian airhead nutritionist who gets international publicity in the Mail by posing with fruit and telling people to drink water, and to sleep.

by Anonymousreply 13605/02/2021

I'm the Daily Mail's etiquette expert. Heading to a get-together and aren't sure which utensil should be used for which purpose? Or when can you take your mask off? Should you use the finger bowl before or after? Just ask.

by Anonymousreply 13705/02/2021

I am moderately famous. I “channel”.

I channel a slightly more famous person.

This means that I wear the same coloured dress as another slightly more famous person.

Different style. Different cut. Different everything. But same colour.

by Anonymousreply 13805/02/2021

I too am the print edition.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 13905/02/2021

I'm the Z lister in the "are they or aren't they" relationship.

by Anonymousreply 14005/02/2021

I am one place Sunshine Sucks doesn't penetrate.

by Anonymousreply 14105/03/2021

I'm Joan Rivers speaking Jewish truth to Aryan power:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 14205/03/2021

I should be the articles on British nobles and gentry, instead of all the rubbish about reality TV "stars".

by Anonymousreply 14305/06/2021

R142 And less than a month later, she was dead. This is what happens when you say evil things nonstop.

Karma always comes around eventually.

by Anonymousreply 14405/06/2021

I'm the hackneyed caption "having a Marilyn moment," used every time an errant breeze blows a female celeb's skirt to reveal her upper pins and knickers.

by Anonymousreply 14505/06/2021

R144: And when you die as a form of execution for your racism, it will be karma.

by Anonymousreply 14605/06/2021

Joan Rivers was right then and she is right now about those vile racist vermin.

by Anonymousreply 14705/06/2021

Fuck Paleswine, fuck Islam, fuck the white race, fuck heterosexuality, and fuck you cracker.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 14805/06/2021

Oh, R148 - is “cracker” no longer considered offensive? Is the N word now ok as well?

Or does it depend upon the race of the person who said it?

Talk about racist.

by Anonymousreply 14905/06/2021

[quote] Jordan blocked on of the first LGBT magazines.

R148 I don't understand this sentence.

by Anonymousreply 15005/06/2021

Don't try to understand, R150. It's M*tt Ansch*r.

by Anonymousreply 15105/07/2021

I'm the famous actor or actresses new fuck piece, who DM claims is practically the identical twin of the actor/actresses ex. In reality, I bare no resemblance whatsoever.

by Anonymousreply 15205/07/2021

I am an English D-lister, channeling Pamela Anderson in my bikini body on a windswept beach in Cornwall, where it’s HOTTER THAN ST TROPEZ!

I’m just a pudgy talentless slag but my swimsuit is red.

by Anonymousreply 153Last Tuesday at 3:48 PM

Yes, r128 the “taught abs” on display prove your point.

by Anonymousreply 154Last Tuesday at 4:01 PM

I’m a woman. I’m far too fat, unless the journalist decides that I am far too thin. I’m never just right.

by Anonymousreply 155Last Tuesday at 4:15 PM

I'm the names of the victims of the latest mass shooting, plus all their personal information and glossy photos, before any other newspaper has them!

by Anonymousreply 156Last Tuesday at 4:31 PM

They had an article yesterday on Mick Jagger's "lookalike" son, who actually doesn't resemble Mick in the slightest.

by Anonymousreply 157Last Tuesday at 5:12 PM

I'm the Dubai tourist officer in charge of "persuading" DM editors to print photos of people you've never heard of cavorting in Dubai's winter sun.

And you innocents probably wondered why it's always Dubai.

by Anonymousreply 158Last Tuesday at 5:47 PM

We’re the fifteen breathless paragraphs devoted to each of titty-golfer Paige Spiranac’s IG posts.

by Anonymousreply 159Last Tuesday at 6:24 PM

We are the war crimes against Jews that justifies this paper's support for Israel.

by Anonymousreply 160Last Tuesday at 7:17 PM

I'm the online version.

Funny how all the comments are right-wing Nationalist supporting Trump, guns etc and hating on gays, victimized women, and other minorities.

by Anonymousreply 16121 hours ago

The Grauniad is no friend of gays. They were the first to sell us out to the TQ+ cult.

by Anonymousreply 16221 hours ago

I'm bumping along nicely...

by Anonymousreply 16321 hours ago

I’m posing up a storm...

by Anonymousreply 16421 hours ago

I'm the proprietor of the Daily Mail who's glad this thread has attained 165 posts.

by Anonymousreply 16520 hours ago
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