Do you get bored with friends easily?

Smells like depression

OP, I hear you. I have a friend who is very smart, has similar taste as I do but good Lord. I am getting so bored with her. She’s a straight woman who really wants to meet a guy but has no idea how offputting she is. She’s very....intense. She complains about things she can’t control and doesn’t take responsibility for those things she can. Every time she texts me it feels like a chore to respond. She’s really smart, it’s not that. She just doesn’t have much personality.

OP, I’m quite similar. I have a very small group of friends whose company I actually enjoy and love spending time with them. Whenever we meet we hang out for hours. I can count the number of these friends on one hand.

Also, R1 May have a point.

I don’t necessarily feel depressed in other areas of life, but yeh maybe with how quickly I lose interest in friends.

No, but that does tend to happen with acquaintances for me.

I'm the same OP. I accept one in a dozen invitations to hang. It is exhausting putting on a face and a show.

I get bored with people who keep making the conversation about themselves. Who have no interest in anything but their own personal wallah. To say nothing of how smartphones have destroyed human conversation. I have a three-strike rule; if I'm engaged in a convo with someone, I will ignore their first two glances at their smartphones. On the third glance, I get up and leave. No bye, no explanation. Gone.

Lately, yes, I've been getting bored with friends and family members as well.

Yes, OP, I do. Like R8, I'm bored with some family members as well.

I think I'm a pretty good listener and I hate it when others don't reciprocate. If a relationship is one-sided and the other person expects to be the center of attention all the time, with me as some kind of accommodating sidekick, then I'm out. I know his or her likes and dislikes, their dreams and regrets, listen with interest and ask questions when they talk about their passions. I know a lot about these individuals, but they're too self-absorbed to make the effort to know me? Bye Felicia! Life's too short to settle for crap like that.

What helps is that I actually like my own company, so I rarely feel lonely when I'm alone.

I have some good listeners in my circle of family and friends. Problem is, a few of them have fucking huge mouths and I don't trust them them to ever just listen and not blab.

R7 I'm not fit for human company. I only want to talk about my work. Everything my friends say bores me. Admittedly what I do is more interesting than anyone else's work but still, I know what you mean.

OP, you definitely have something wrong with you. I’m not sure what it is. It could be a lot of things.

I’ve let a lot of friendships fall away over the last year. If someone lets months and months go by without so much as a text to say hi and ask how you’re doing, then they simply don’t care about you. You can come up with all the excuses in the world, but unless they were in a coma or being held captive, they didn’t contact you because they didn’t want to.

It’s incredibly sad. I had a lot of friends that I genuinely cared about, but they didn’t feel the same about me. I’m no longer willing to give more than I get back.

I've found this lately too, especially as I find an increasing sense of peace in my solitude. I am enjoying my own company more and more in my late 20s. And so the constant barrage of needy texts and phone calls, and even average memes they send (just because they can't sit with themselves in quiet for one evening without desperately reaching out to others), is exhausting. These one way friendships are kind of like being a bystander while the other person screams into the void.

Especially after work, where I respond to emails and co-workers constantly all day... I have started putting my phone on airplane mode so I can avoid my friends who just love hearing the sound of their own voice and want to word-vomit about themselves, or the same story of a guy they're interested in with basically just a different name every time... when you actually enjoy being alone, it feels a bit like a rude interruption to my 'me time' lol.

Perhaps i'm a little antisocial, or maybe just never made those great two-way friendships where both of us want to be there with each other. I know I should have been better at putting boundaries up, but people also should learn how to read the room. I also have to remember that some people out there are cripplingly lonely and would love to have a friend, so I try not to complain too much about the friends I have even though they largely annoy me.

Do you want to change this, OP?

Or just talk about it?

R14 I don't care to change it, really. I didn't used to be this way, so was just wondering if others had the same experience. I don't feel some loss about it, just curious if others had felt or experienced something similar.

R13 great insight - do you know me? That sounds exactly like what I've thought. Bonus points for use of the phrase "word vomit" - I must remember that.

I was thinking - I also like most people just at large social events, so I can chat. It's pleasant to see them, but how about "I'll see you at the next event, there's no need for us to be in touch between."

Some of you don't deserve friends, and if you talk of friends boring you, they're clearly just acquaintances

The only thing worse than a boring friend is a dead one. For most people, working at friendship and keeping interest alive is why friendships and romantic relationships last many years. It’s the people who a.ways say “I’m bored” who are the laziest, most boring people around. And the loneliest.

[quote] I also have to remember that some people out there are cripplingly lonely and would love to have a friend

You might be one of them someday.

[quote] there's no need for us to be in touch between.

If you said this to me, I’d think you were a huge asshole and I’d avoid you like the plague at the next event.

On the other hand r18, if friendship or romance is just another chore, just another job, maybe that's not the best formula either.

One friend has started calling me three to four times a week, and she talks for two hours at a time. (Even though NOTHING has happened since our last two-hour talk the day before.)

Always about the nieces and nephews, who aren't even old enough to crawl yet. I don't give a fuck whether Brayden tried to roll over. That's not "amazing". And you told me the exact same thing yesterday, the day before, and three days before that.

And stop complaining about your husband. I already told you how I think you should solve that problem (divorce), but you shot down my idea. I think you just like to complain. I'm not your fucking therapist.

R22 sounds like you're using DL as YOUR therapist.

R23, no, I wouldn't expect good advice from DL.

[quote] And stop complaining about your husband. I already told you how I think you should solve that problem (divorce), but you shot down my idea. I think you just like to complain. I'm not your fucking therapist.

I have a friend (decades-long friendship) who asks me for "advice" about the same things over and over. Not anything like should I get divorced, though. Yesterday, I was pretty blunt about Friend always talking about exercise but never exercising (friend's doctor recommended more exercise due to health issues).

I said well, there's no excuse (friend has treadmill, lives in a nice, walkable neighborhood).

Fuck them OP.

That'll rekindle your interest.

And stop complaining about your husband. I already told you how I think you should solve that problem (divorce), but you shot down my idea. I think you just like to complain. I'm not your fucking therapist.

And you're not 'divorcing' this friend why?

Boring people are bored off easily, while exciting people always excite others.

I get large pores and blackouts

You're just shallow. You don't really care about people. You like sounding boards to hear the sound of your own voice and find more weekend joy in staring in a mirror for hours on end.

R27, they live nearby, and they have an in-ground pool.