Did your mommy love you?

She did love me. But she really didn't want me. She had my sister who was 6 years older than me, and my father was already old. She was afraid of being a single mother, which she ended up being to me as my father died when I was seven. She was not equipped to deal with an boy with ADD. My entire childhood, I remember her as being worried (legitimately, about having enough money to feed us) and wanting me to behave (meaning sit down and shut up).

Not really. She was accomplished and distant and felt guilty about it. She worried she was not a good mother. She wasn’t but that was who she was. She was wanting in some aspects, marvelous in others. I think she was as good as most mothers and assured her so. She was a good person. RIP.

Unless your mother explicitly states that she is good with your sexual orientation, then the most you can say is that your mother loves who she wants you to be and not you as a person.

[quote] your mother loves who she wants you to be and not you as a person.

I wonder if that isn’t true of all of us really.

She over-loved me. She was clingy and possessive. I had to fight for my independence every inch of the way. Sometimes I felt like a possession.

I can understand this to some extent. My older sister died long before I was born. She became pregnant with me when she was 42. I was like her miracle, her last hurrah. She was afraid that somehow she would lose me, too.

However, if I was in trouble or ever needed help, even in adulthood, she was my fierce defender, a mother wolf.

She loves me but I always feel she is like "you would be so much better if you do this..." with her.

Another over-loved son. I was her obsession. Never sure if it was love or need. I guess it’s better than being unwanted - but had its own issues. I was used to fill a void which could never be filled.

Oh she sure did. More than I could ever explain. Her love completely made up for the lack thereof from my father.

As long as I did what she wanted me to do.

At the end of the doc "Heart Of A Dog" Laurie Anderson said she didn't love her mother. That was rather disquieting.

I think she has another documentary there.

Yes but mine gave up trying to parent by the time I was about 8 or so. Too complicated for her, so she simply didn't bother, which left me to the depredations of an evil older brother from whom I remain alienated decades later. Still haven't really forgiven her for that, even if I recognize now that it was just incompetence and self-absorption on her part, and not malice, that caused her to be so neglectful. She's never been great with accountability or admitting she's wrong in general -- even for small matters, let alone something like this -- so it's unlikely this issue can ever be put to rest.

^^ Do the grown up thing and just move on. Parents are people too as obviously you see.

I WAS NOT ONE OF HER FANS—so, NO!

May I answer on behalf of that petulant Beauty Queen?

Being the narcisist that she was, she did in her own "special" way. Also it didn't help that I looked like my biological father, who left her while she was carrying me.