Help! My partner is a hoarder!

Book him a full spa day as a special present.

When he’s gone, throw all his shit out.

One hour before his spa day ends - leave him a panicked message: “Honey, WE’VE BEEN ROBBED!!!”

We just need a bigger house.

What is your question, caller?

If your house is as big a mess as the pic you posted, how have you managed to live there this long? Or are you just hyperbolizing?

Quite boring

It's a mental disorder. Just move out.

R4 The rooms we live in are passable, but the hoarding from the other rooms continues to grow and encroach on the livable parts of our home I’ve carved out. I can’t keep up with keeping it at bay like I used to. I want to cry.

He's got a problem but you are your own problem for staying with him. One day all his junk will fall on you and crush you to death and he won't even notice. Not until the neighbors notice the wretched stink will the cops show and you'll be found. Your partner will say he thought you had gone out for a smoke but never came back in.

go to group therapy with him and actively find a solution. if he refuses you'll have to leave him, in my opinion.

I don't think I could be sexually attracted to a hoarder. Same with gambling addicts. Total turn-off.

Your partner needs professional help, OP. If he does not take steps, I'd move out.

Might as well face it

He's addicted to junk.

And not the crap you have in your trunk,

Punk.

I would tell you to show him homeless camps with shopping carts filled with shit, but you know damn well he’d start stealing shit from those poor poor people.

Move out or kick him out. This is why lovers are allowed to keep their own separate houses.

Oh, dear! Run while you can or start secretly selling off the valuable stuff buried in the piles.

You're on your way to becoming the Collyer brothers, OP.

rather than start a new hoarders threat, I'm jumping in on this one even tho I'm not OP's partner

alas, I'm no one's.

I'm watching Hoarders and it's clear that these folks have such problems.

I have three wardrobes -- M, L and XL - sadly, I'm wearing XL these days. I have a GREAT M and L wardrobe. I've lost the weight before so I don't want to toss some of the nicer clothes.

I have DVDs, CDs, books, magazines, and comic books, and some collectibles (yes, yes, it's all WHY I don't have a partner; heard it all)

My problem is I don't know where to start to get rid of this stuff. but I know I need to. I'd sign up for one the hoarder shows, but I don't think my place is dirty enough.

So much of what I have is eBay-able. I wish I could spend a week getting to all this stuff, but I work two jobs, seven days a week.

Sometimes I think on Hoarders they encourage the hoarders to go off the rails to make some good TV

This is a mental health issue, and won't be fixed by you. Your partner has to admit he has a problem, seek help, and do what's asked of him to get better. If he doesn't do all those things, nothing will change. Ever.

R16, is right; I'm not the OP or his partner, but I know I have to throw out half my stuff to get this under control.

throw out something every day.

Once a week (or less) plan on taking more stuff to throw out at another place.

pick a room/area to figure out, declutter and clean each month.

newspapers, mags, weird books, plastic crap, rundown glass shit PUT IN THE RECYLE BIN.

The hoarding won't get better on its own, OP.

Either drag him to couples counseling and confront him with the hoarding thing there, and see if he'll go to targeted therapy, or force things to a crisis by just throwing the worst junk out. Either way, he won't change unless he genuinely wants to, and if he genuinely wanted to you'd have mentioned it.

R15, at least you can admit you have an issue. Maybe hire someone to tackle one category at a time, to your comfort level. There are people who are very good at getting rid of stuff mindfully. Whether it be knowing what is of value to sell on eBay or otherwise, and junk the rest, or know how to reorganize your living space so that you are keeping a minimum of what you need and having it well positioned in your home so that it isn't a clutterfest.

R15, is there anything in your hoard / collection that you can identify as plain trash or recyclable (cans, bottles, etc.)? I would start with that.

I would not go room by room. I would go by category of thing (which can be spread out in several rooms). If anything, I'd start with the bathroom and kitchen (if you do decide to go room by room).

[quote] I have DVDs, CDs, books, magazines, and comic books, and some collectibles

Is there an expert (pawn shop owner, etc.) in your town that you can talk to?

I would also try to get my weight under control. (Make a start.)

Do you really need to work 2 jobs, 7 days per week? That sounds like a recipe for bad health.

My partner and I are both collectors of many things, but much of what I have I sell in an antique collective.

His hoard is confined mostly to one room in our house and the 1400 square feet that is his business property. He jokes and says he expects to die first and leave the mess to me. I can handle what's in the house, it's not really bad and it's behind a closed door, but the business property gives me nightmares, he hasn't thrown anything out for 45. No rodents or anything, just a huge amount of stuff, much of it vintage and random, some of it valuable.

The thought of getting rid of it (if he goes first) is overwhelming, so I made a plan. I will give myself about a year to clean it out. A lot of it is sellable. First, I'll toss the trash, then sell the professional equipment, and finally have an estate sale to get rid of the rest. I'll keep the best to sell in my shop. Making a plan helped relieve the stress. We're both older and I may go first, but he can also follow the plan if he ever chooses to retire, which he won't as long as he stays well.

The type of hoarders you see on that show? They are mentally ill. I once met Robin Zasio, the psychologist on Hoarders, at an event. I commented that it must be really difficult to treat people who hoard and she agreed. It's a very difficult problem to overcome but, according to the link, has a success rate of about 70%.

OP. If you need someone to stand around and speak to your partner in a condescending tone while day laborers dump all of that shit in a huge truck, I'm available.

Help! I'm trying to make our house unlivable for my partner by passive-aggressively hoarding items as I'm too scared to tell my partner that our relationship is over and he needs to move out TODAY!!

Any tips to keep marking my territory in the house to more areas and get him to pack his bags for good?

Yes, R25, pee on the beds and carpet.