Gwyneth Paltrow shares rare photo of son Moses on his fifteenth birthday

The "Holy Moses" shtick must make that kid groan....

I love her and her children's wide set eyes. They are cool to me.

And each has one that looks lazy.

Almost alien like.

I'm getting strong Ronan Farrow vibes.

Is she his mother, or his smother?

Apple has huge nostrils.

This is the first time I have visited Gwenie Instagram. What is with all the nude and titties shots? Second question is where are Blythe's nudes?

Can a mother call her own child “dreamiest?”

Isn’t it somewhat lustful?

Her son looks like a wall eyed lesbian.

"You little shredder" sounds embarrassing for the son.

My mother was in a double sausage 4 way with Blythe Danner, Fyfush Finkel, and Little Richard.

My mother came buckets and then came back for more.

This is according to my dad- and its all alleged and has in no way been proven.

Nice to see Apple getting back at her mother for being named "Apple".

Did she mention her special "friend" Harvey Weinstein?

If his eyes were any further apart they'd be on the sides of his head.

Why would an aging egomaniac call her 15-year-old son "the dreamiest"?

Someone needs to call Child Protective Services.

FAS, FLK.

Both kids have Chris Martin’s floating eyes

I love floating eyes like that. Like Jackie O's.

For the lazy ass, OP... Please, let me...

He looks like a pretty little thing.

He looks just like Gwynnie's brother.

It's eerie.

Is this a Flowers in the Attic situation?

I look forward to his face tattoos and chronic unemployment....Meanwhile Twinko Plinko is walking around with 12,000 dollars....

He looks like his grandma, Blythe Danner.

What a bunch of fugs.

Moses and Apple are incredibly stupid names for kids, given to them by two pretentious and obnoxious parents.

And their mother is a wicked cunt!

He looks twelve.

R25, indeed. I wonder if he likes to swim.

R13, Missed punchline opportunity!

"If his eyes were any further apart, he'd be a flounder!"

Who calls their 15 year old son "dreamy"?

I suspect that these kids can’t stand Gwyneth.

Sorry the kids are gorgeous. And I think Gwyneth is a delusional and elitist cunt, but her performance in The Talented Mr Ripley is supremely underrated and one of my favorites.

I just cannot hate her. Never could. Loved her in Proof as well.

He looks the way her pussy smells

He looks weird. Like Gwen put on a short haired wig and is playing a teenage boy. Like that stupid Chad show.

Shouldn't the eyes be looking in the same direction? I didn't know that could be hereditary.

Am I the only one who loves spaced out crossed over eyes?

I think her kids are gorgeous!

How much money did she have to pay to the kids who Apple bullied to make them keep quiet and not press charges?

Yes, the kids are beautiful, and GOOP seems not to mind being roasted by the daughter, which is a good sign.

R35- I totally, fucking believe that story and I want DETAILS!!!

Holy shit- where did that come from here?

R35, there was gossip in DL that Apple was such a horrible bully she had to leave the school. I've heard of bullied kids changing schools, but never, ever, the bully.

Sounds like the Apple doesn't fall far from the GOOP.

They're both massive cunts!

You guys do realize that at least 1/2 of the Martin-Paltrow kid's Googly-eyes situation is whatever hereditary gene Chris got as the direct descendent of Winston Churchill, don't you? Simply *Fabulous* politician for the Ages ( along with Roosevelt and JFK), but never a Greater bug-eyed man than he. Gene expression is weird:

He's not a direct descendant, R40. He's not any kind of descendant.

From Wikipedia:

[quote] "Martin's paternal aunt Elisabeth Jane (daughter of John Besley Martin) married Hon. Julian George Winston Sandys, son of Conservative politician Duncan Sandys by his wife Diana Churchill, daughter of Prime Minister Winston Churchill. The Conservative politician David Martin is his paternal uncle."

Ugly like her

Sorry but the eyes are kinda creepy. It looks like one eye is looking at you, and the other is looking FOR you.

Enough with celebrities trying to make their kids into celebrities, also.

The son looks fat....He will never measure up to Deacon Phillipe....

Is he trans?

You've got to check out the new Hulu doc on the rise and fall of WeWork featuring the hideousness that is the founder's wife, and Gwynnie's cousin, Rebeckah Paltrow Neumann.

Must GOOP ruin everything?

Moses is wearing lipstick in that IG pic, Wtf?

I love wide-set eyes, but those are just too extreme, just like the daughter's.

Is he autistic? Gwyneth seems like the kind of person who would want an autistic kid (and would have turned him into one if he wasn't born that way.)

Nah, R50, she'll just trans both kids so she'll still have a son and daughter but they'll have flipped which is which. No celebrity has done that yet!

He looks like a girl.

He looks like a 10-year-old girl.

Cute kid. Still the shittiest name ever.

try Apple r54 it's worse

yep he does have that "neutral" look for now but he is only 15

I'm all for trans youth, but this is overkill.

The son gives me young Milla Jovovich vibes. The daughter reminds me of Nina Hagen's daughter, Cosima Shiva Hagen.

You just know there'll be a "no sausage" social media from her sooner or later.

sorry, "no sausage" comment from her

In this very long (and very good) NY Times article, Goop is greeting her son with the words: "Hi, lover."