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How do I ask a guy at my gym out on a date?

We see each other daily, he's nice and I can tell he's a bit shy and reserved...i feel I've lost any sense of what it's like to ask another guy out!

Help, Dear Abby!

by Anonymousreply 71Last Monday at 8:11 PM

Have you introduced yourself? What's his name? Have you had even a brief conversation? I can't suggest anything until you tell me?

by Anonymousreply 1Last Thursday at 6:25 AM

Present hole.

by Anonymousreply 2Last Thursday at 6:27 AM

Just talk with him. Say you are always looking to make new friends and ask him to go for a beer after the workout (beers are a good recovery drink after a workout).

by Anonymousreply 3Last Thursday at 6:27 AM

R3 Great answer. I agree. Maybe he's looking to make new friends too, especially since he's shy, and may jump at the opportunity. You never know unless you try!

by Anonymousreply 4Last Thursday at 6:30 AM

OP here...we have small talk regularly. I can tell he's shy which I find attractive...he's single and just a few years younger than me (I'm 50). I usually initiate our chats.

I am no longer on the gays apps but prior to the pandemic I did see him on Grindr. Im guessing he's still on there...I suppose i can message him there too?

by Anonymousreply 5Last Thursday at 6:33 AM

Ask him for some tips maybe show you some new techniques. Like the kind he has to make physical contact to assist with...

by Anonymousreply 6Last Thursday at 6:39 AM

Tell him you need a towel dance partner in the locker room.

by Anonymousreply 7Last Thursday at 6:39 AM

Ask if he knows of any homeopathic cures for chlamydia

by Anonymousreply 8Last Thursday at 6:50 AM

OP just ask him if he wants to grab a beer with you after class. If he doesn't drink beer tell him, "Fine, you have whatever you like and I'll have a beer! I'd enjoy some company." Keep things light with him. Main thing is you'd like him to feel comfortable with you.

by Anonymousreply 9Last Thursday at 7:02 AM

OP, so tell us how things go.

by Anonymousreply 10Last Friday at 7:01 PM

Oh my god, this thread is adorable.

by Anonymousreply 11Last Friday at 7:06 PM

Ask him if he's been vaccinated.

by Anonymousreply 12Last Friday at 7:10 PM

Good luck and keep us posted, OP!

by Anonymousreply 13Last Friday at 7:29 PM

Whatever you do, ask him out live. Not on Grindr!

by Anonymousreply 14Last Friday at 7:50 PM

OP's dreaming of that caftan built for two.

by Anonymousreply 15Last Friday at 8:08 PM

Ask him if he wants to try whatever new juice/coffee/smoothie place nearby and then treat.

If there's a mutual vibe you should know and if not it won't be weird or uncomfortable for either of you.

by Anonymousreply 16Last Friday at 9:02 PM

Jesus, if you're both on Grindr at your age, then you should be used to rejection, so just do it already.

by Anonymousreply 17Last Friday at 9:07 PM

Sounds fun. Keep it casual!

by Anonymousreply 18Last Friday at 9:34 PM

I don't use Grindr (shitty app with shitty people) so I don't know if you can do it but I'd suggest sending him a cookie, tap or whatever is the equivalent in the app.

He'd get the message and if he's interested he'll pursue.

by Anonymousreply 19Last Friday at 10:06 PM

DLers are slipping. "He;s a few years younger than me (I'm 50)" = OP is 60 and object of interest is 28.

by Anonymousreply 20Last Friday at 10:12 PM

I hope we get an update -- and that he says 'yes' to the dress!

OP, things are going to move quickly. I would suggest AT LEAST two different scenarios for a meal with a contrasting activity. How about Italian + pickleball? Or wine tasting + walk along (insert pleasant but non-threatening geographical location such as a promenade or beach).

by Anonymousreply 21Last Friday at 10:15 PM

Oy Vey AND what the christ R21. OP, whatever your balls inspire you to say, be certain to scratch all R21's ideas + language off your list of viable options. Be casual, simple, and specific, as "I'm headed to Mac's for a pint after, care to join me?" If he says he doesn't drink, tell him how good their grub or coffee is. If he has plans, and seems sincere, then "another time then" shall suffice. Best of luck mate, and let us know how you make out.

by Anonymousreply 22Last Friday at 11:09 PM

OP one answer. Bend and snap! It has a 98% success rate. Watch:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 23Last Friday at 11:15 PM

Don’t expect quality if he’s on Grindr

by Anonymousreply 24Last Saturday at 4:03 AM

Do this. Comedic pratfalls during meet-cutes always end in the groom tossing the bouquet to his schlumpy sidekick!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 25Last Saturday at 4:14 AM

"Would you like to go on a date?" seems clear and simple.

by Anonymousreply 26Last Saturday at 4:21 AM

How about: Would your wife mind if we had dinner some night soon?

by Anonymousreply 27Last Saturday at 4:28 AM

"Top or bottom?" Is a quick way to break the ice and get down to business. I mean, this is 2021! Who has time for bloody courtship!!!

by Anonymousreply 28Last Saturday at 5:23 AM

"Have you tried the new Lady Gaga Oreos? They taste just like cum. I LOVE THEM."

by Anonymousreply 29Last Saturday at 5:36 AM

I'm so glad that I've aged out of dating , I remember the emotional torture of these situations. I would say as an eldergay that you should bite the bullet and go after him. One thing that you don't lose when you get old is regret.

by Anonymousreply 30Last Saturday at 5:54 AM

Happens to me all the time. I like to strike conversations with sexy guys at the gym, and after a while, if reciprocal interest seems to have been established, I casually ask whether he wants to go for coffee “one day”. It’s casual enough and non threatening. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. No worries, we can keep chatting at the gym otherwise

by Anonymousreply 31Last Saturday at 6:05 AM

I start working in with dudes, so what the vibe is, and if there is one, ask what they’ve been up to. Based on that, I suggest going to a sports bar, shooting hoops, or going to a movie. Incremental

by Anonymousreply 32Last Saturday at 6:14 AM

See what the vibe is*

by Anonymousreply 33Last Saturday at 6:27 AM

what does working in mean?

by Anonymousreply 34Last Saturday at 6:29 AM

Ask him if this jockstrap makes you look fat.

by Anonymousreply 35Last Saturday at 6:31 AM

Oh, for corn's sake. Have a friend give him a meticulously folded piece of paper that reads:

Do you like me? YES or NO.

(circle one)

by Anonymousreply 36Last Saturday at 6:33 AM

"You have really great form. Would you mind looking at mine? I could use some advice. I'm worried I might injure myself doing preacher curls or jerking off."

by Anonymousreply 37Last Saturday at 6:35 AM

Working in means asking a dude who is lifting weights if you can work out on that bench or equipment while he is resting between sets.

by Anonymousreply 38Last Saturday at 6:40 AM

"Excuse me. I have seen you here a few times and si don't mean to be forward, but I was wondering if you'd like to fuck like wild animals or consider conjoining lives until one of us dies?"

by Anonymousreply 39Last Saturday at 6:56 AM

Next time you go to the gym, freeball. That should pique his interest!

by Anonymousreply 40Last Saturday at 7:50 AM

Have your dance card ready to show that you have a vacancy.

by Anonymousreply 41Last Sunday at 3:33 AM

Attract his attention by walking around the locker room wearing nothing but high heels.

by Anonymousreply 42Last Sunday at 4:13 AM

Seriously?!? You’re both older homos; quit acting like you’re 20. Just say, “hey I’m going to jog at the park tomorrow to get some fresh air. Wanna meet me there?” You’ll know his interest level immediately when he answers.

by Anonymousreply 43Last Sunday at 4:20 AM

r39, LOL That would work on me. IRL I would leave at the same time and say "Hey, I'm heading over to --- if you want to grab a beer", allowing him an easy exit. Since he is shy I would not approach him again if he turned me down. Let him initiate.

I'm concerned that at 50 your asking for such simple advice. Maybe you're a weirdo.

by Anonymousreply 44Last Sunday at 4:21 AM

R9 nailed it.

Stop flouncing around OP and just ask him out!

by Anonymousreply 45Last Sunday at 4:47 AM

^^Oh dear myself. You're

by Anonymousreply 46Last Sunday at 4:49 AM

Oh dear yourself AGAIN for not including your reply number in your post R46.

by Anonymousreply 47Last Sunday at 4:51 AM

^ 2 arrows means 2 posts above.

by Anonymousreply 48Last Sunday at 4:58 AM

i have a crush on a shop bottom. i never thought id see the day. im gonna put the moves on

by Anonymousreply 49Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

Really? Are you sure HE'S the shy one?

by Anonymousreply 50Last Sunday at 5:13 AM

I hate it!!! HATE IT, when people come here asking advice and then they don't report back.

by Anonymousreply 51Last Sunday at 5:58 AM

What's with all this talk of beer? Beer is cheap, fattening and for straight guys. Invite him for a cocktail like the self-respecting gay of age 50 that you are.

by Anonymousreply 52Last Sunday at 6:04 AM

R52 - Trust me, a 50 year old single gay man cruising the gym for dates is most definitely not “self-respecting.”

by Anonymousreply 53Last Sunday at 6:11 AM

Good point R50.

by Anonymousreply 54Last Sunday at 6:55 AM

I could never ask a guy at a gym for a date. I couldn’t handle the rejection. I’d rather just know how to nut on a guy’s bag without him noticing.

by Anonymousreply 55Last Sunday at 6:59 AM

The 21st Century: He's shy......... he's on Grindr posting his picture and personal information to the world declaring his need to fuck.

by Anonymousreply 56Last Sunday at 7:03 AM

If you’re still single at 50, you’re damaged. You can go through the motions of trying to find someone and stay in denial, but you’ll be alone forever because you never fixed yourself.

by Anonymousreply 57Last Sunday at 7:12 AM


by Anonymousreply 58Last Sunday at 7:50 AM

[quote] Trust me, a 50 year old single gay man cruising the gym for dates is most definitely not “self-respecting.”

fuck you. I'm not OP but he's not cruising, but actually trying to go out on a date with someone he has developed some connection.

Go back to masturbating to Falcon Studios and go fuck yourself.

by Anonymousreply 59Last Sunday at 4:36 PM

Thank you!! I stand with OP as well...if the fucker will just get back to us...I hope he is absent because he is having wild sex with the guy from the gym.

by Anonymousreply 60Last Sunday at 4:41 PM

did he report back

by Anonymousreply 61Last Sunday at 4:51 PM

you scared him away u cruel asses, and i wanted to know the ending.

by Anonymousreply 62Last Sunday at 4:55 PM

Write him a note and leave it on his locker.

by Anonymousreply 63Last Sunday at 4:57 PM

Helpful advice and a romantic comedy. This could have been a lovely thread, and you ruined it. BAD BAD

I hope he comes back bc I want to know what happens.

by Anonymousreply 64Last Sunday at 4:57 PM

Betting OP is a fattie or a poor loser.

by Anonymousreply 65Last Sunday at 5:00 PM

Can I just say thank to R64, R62, R60 and R59.

There's pointless bitchery and then there's some of the people on DL.

by Anonymousreply 66Last Sunday at 5:00 PM

Let's face it, at your age what you really want is a hot fuck session! So, invite him over to Netflix, and when he arrives have gay porn playing on the tv. He'll fuck you and leave and you didn't even have to pay for a pizza! (Nor subscribe to Netflix!)

by Anonymousreply 67Last Sunday at 5:12 PM

I still don't understand what's wrong with tapping the guy on Grindr or sending him a message? At least if you're rejected it won't be to your face.

by Anonymousreply 68Last Sunday at 5:13 PM

Um, OP, you say to him, "Would you like to go on a date?"

what r u fecking retarded?

by Anonymousreply 69Last Sunday at 5:22 PM

OP you will never get a “date” nor have a meaningful relationship. The best you can hope for is sleazy, sloppy sex with a drunk 40 year old you meet at closing time. He won’t know how terrible you are until the next morning.

by Anonymousreply 70Last Sunday at 6:02 PM

OP!!!!! Please come back. Don't let the hateful little shitgibbons discourage you...

by Anonymousreply 71Last Monday at 8:11 PM
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