How do I ask a guy at my gym out on a date?

Have you introduced yourself? What's his name? Have you had even a brief conversation? I can't suggest anything until you tell me?

Present hole.

Just talk with him. Say you are always looking to make new friends and ask him to go for a beer after the workout (beers are a good recovery drink after a workout).

R3 Great answer. I agree. Maybe he's looking to make new friends too, especially since he's shy, and may jump at the opportunity. You never know unless you try!

OP here...we have small talk regularly. I can tell he's shy which I find attractive...he's single and just a few years younger than me (I'm 50). I usually initiate our chats.

I am no longer on the gays apps but prior to the pandemic I did see him on Grindr. Im guessing he's still on there...I suppose i can message him there too?

Ask him for some tips maybe show you some new techniques. Like the kind he has to make physical contact to assist with...

Tell him you need a towel dance partner in the locker room.

Ask if he knows of any homeopathic cures for chlamydia

OP just ask him if he wants to grab a beer with you after class. If he doesn't drink beer tell him, "Fine, you have whatever you like and I'll have a beer! I'd enjoy some company." Keep things light with him. Main thing is you'd like him to feel comfortable with you.

OP, so tell us how things go.

Oh my god, this thread is adorable.

Ask him if he's been vaccinated.

Good luck and keep us posted, OP!

Whatever you do, ask him out live. Not on Grindr!

OP's dreaming of that caftan built for two.

Ask him if he wants to try whatever new juice/coffee/smoothie place nearby and then treat.

If there's a mutual vibe you should know and if not it won't be weird or uncomfortable for either of you.

Jesus, if you're both on Grindr at your age, then you should be used to rejection, so just do it already.

Sounds fun. Keep it casual!

I don't use Grindr (shitty app with shitty people) so I don't know if you can do it but I'd suggest sending him a cookie, tap or whatever is the equivalent in the app.

He'd get the message and if he's interested he'll pursue.

DLers are slipping. "He;s a few years younger than me (I'm 50)" = OP is 60 and object of interest is 28.

I hope we get an update -- and that he says 'yes' to the dress!

OP, things are going to move quickly. I would suggest AT LEAST two different scenarios for a meal with a contrasting activity. How about Italian + pickleball? Or wine tasting + walk along (insert pleasant but non-threatening geographical location such as a promenade or beach).

Oy Vey AND what the christ R21. OP, whatever your balls inspire you to say, be certain to scratch all R21's ideas + language off your list of viable options. Be casual, simple, and specific, as "I'm headed to Mac's for a pint after, care to join me?" If he says he doesn't drink, tell him how good their grub or coffee is. If he has plans, and seems sincere, then "another time then" shall suffice. Best of luck mate, and let us know how you make out.

OP one answer. Bend and snap! It has a 98% success rate. Watch:

Don’t expect quality if he’s on Grindr

Do this. Comedic pratfalls during meet-cutes always end in the groom tossing the bouquet to his schlumpy sidekick!

"Would you like to go on a date?" seems clear and simple.

How about: Would your wife mind if we had dinner some night soon?

"Top or bottom?" Is a quick way to break the ice and get down to business. I mean, this is 2021! Who has time for bloody courtship!!!

"Have you tried the new Lady Gaga Oreos? They taste just like cum. I LOVE THEM."

I'm so glad that I've aged out of dating , I remember the emotional torture of these situations. I would say as an eldergay that you should bite the bullet and go after him. One thing that you don't lose when you get old is regret.

Happens to me all the time. I like to strike conversations with sexy guys at the gym, and after a while, if reciprocal interest seems to have been established, I casually ask whether he wants to go for coffee “one day”. It’s casual enough and non threatening. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. No worries, we can keep chatting at the gym otherwise

I start working in with dudes, so what the vibe is, and if there is one, ask what they’ve been up to. Based on that, I suggest going to a sports bar, shooting hoops, or going to a movie. Incremental

See what the vibe is*

what does working in mean?

Ask him if this jockstrap makes you look fat.

Oh, for corn's sake. Have a friend give him a meticulously folded piece of paper that reads:

Do you like me? YES or NO.

(circle one)

"You have really great form. Would you mind looking at mine? I could use some advice. I'm worried I might injure myself doing preacher curls or jerking off."

Working in means asking a dude who is lifting weights if you can work out on that bench or equipment while he is resting between sets.

"Excuse me. I have seen you here a few times and si don't mean to be forward, but I was wondering if you'd like to fuck like wild animals or consider conjoining lives until one of us dies?"

Next time you go to the gym, freeball. That should pique his interest!

Have your dance card ready to show that you have a vacancy.

Attract his attention by walking around the locker room wearing nothing but high heels.

Seriously?!? You’re both older homos; quit acting like you’re 20. Just say, “hey I’m going to jog at the park tomorrow to get some fresh air. Wanna meet me there?” You’ll know his interest level immediately when he answers.

r39, LOL That would work on me. IRL I would leave at the same time and say "Hey, I'm heading over to --- if you want to grab a beer", allowing him an easy exit. Since he is shy I would not approach him again if he turned me down. Let him initiate.

I'm concerned that at 50 your asking for such simple advice. Maybe you're a weirdo.

R9 nailed it.

Stop flouncing around OP and just ask him out!

^^Oh dear myself. You're

Oh dear yourself AGAIN for not including your reply number in your post R46.

^ 2 arrows means 2 posts above.

i have a crush on a shop bottom. i never thought id see the day. im gonna put the moves on

Really? Are you sure HE'S the shy one?

I hate it!!! HATE IT, when people come here asking advice and then they don't report back.

What's with all this talk of beer? Beer is cheap, fattening and for straight guys. Invite him for a cocktail like the self-respecting gay of age 50 that you are.

R52 - Trust me, a 50 year old single gay man cruising the gym for dates is most definitely not “self-respecting.”

Good point R50.

I could never ask a guy at a gym for a date. I couldn’t handle the rejection. I’d rather just know how to nut on a guy’s bag without him noticing.

The 21st Century: He's shy......... he's on Grindr posting his picture and personal information to the world declaring his need to fuck.

If you’re still single at 50, you’re damaged. You can go through the motions of trying to find someone and stay in denial, but you’ll be alone forever because you never fixed yourself.

OMG R50

[quote] Trust me, a 50 year old single gay man cruising the gym for dates is most definitely not “self-respecting.”

fuck you. I'm not OP but he's not cruising, but actually trying to go out on a date with someone he has developed some connection.

Go back to masturbating to Falcon Studios and go fuck yourself.

Thank you!! I stand with OP as well...if the fucker will just get back to us...I hope he is absent because he is having wild sex with the guy from the gym.

did he report back

you scared him away u cruel asses, and i wanted to know the ending.

Write him a note and leave it on his locker.

Helpful advice and a romantic comedy. This could have been a lovely thread, and you ruined it. BAD BAD

I hope he comes back bc I want to know what happens.

Betting OP is a fattie or a poor loser.

Can I just say thank to R64, R62, R60 and R59.

There's pointless bitchery and then there's some of the people on DL.

Let's face it, at your age what you really want is a hot fuck session! So, invite him over to Netflix, and when he arrives have gay porn playing on the tv. He'll fuck you and leave and you didn't even have to pay for a pizza! (Nor subscribe to Netflix!)

I still don't understand what's wrong with tapping the guy on Grindr or sending him a message? At least if you're rejected it won't be to your face.

Um, OP, you say to him, "Would you like to go on a date?"

what r u fecking retarded?

OP you will never get a “date” nor have a meaningful relationship. The best you can hope for is sleazy, sloppy sex with a drunk 40 year old you meet at closing time. He won’t know how terrible you are until the next morning.

OP!!!!! Please come back. Don't let the hateful little shitgibbons discourage you...

Either OP has changed his mind, and decided not to do it, or he has done it and he is too busy having fun to tell us, or he has tried to do it but was not successful and it ended in tears, or he has not done a damned thing and is ashamed to admit it. But OP, if you tried and failed we still love you. If you decided against it we still love you, and if you are procrastinating we still love you. If you have been successful we will alternately applaud you and tear you apart because in our perverse way we want you to know we care.

If it did end in tears the poor man will never tell this place. And wisely so.

OP Pounce!